Occasionally Fatal
Prophet
Yeah, thats right, bomb that motherfuckin snow into submission! 
-
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Completed Let's play: Horde! (Finished)
- Thread starter Darth Roxor
- Start date
random newfag
Novice
- Joined
- Jun 30, 2009
- Messages
- 23
Not that you give a fuck, but I do approve of this LP. I actually had more enjoyment reading about this game than most of the shit I have played in the last 5 years. Waiting impatiently for the next episode to commence.
HanoverF said:
Wanted to update yesterday, but I was out of internets. There will be an update today somewhere past noon.
'Bandwidth exceeded'.
What is this faggotry?
time to make a new photobucket account.
What is this faggotry?
time to make a new photobucket account.
Welcome back, my loyal subjects!
In the last Update XXL (TM) we faced two years of the dreaded snow wasteland of Vesh. Now, we shall survive through year 4.
Strike the lights, welcome to the show!
The wall needs repairing
And repair he did.
Hordlings need thwacking.
It's quiet... too quiet...
A-HA!
Herr Oberleutnant! Ve are receiving a telegram from ze Reich. Zhey are being attacked und ask for assistance.
Well, then, full speed ahead, Herman.
AUSGEBOMBT!!!
A peculiar bug occurred here - I kept whacking at the hordling but it wouldn't die.
Had to run around it to find a place where he'd finally get hit.
Oops.
Right, summer, which means we can dig through water. Let's extend this moat just for the fuck of it.
When it freezes, the cows will be prisoners of ice, but at least we'll have easier time to navigate around them.
IIIIIIINCOMIIIIIING.
When I activated the map, I heard the roars of tanks. Awesome.
One idiot got drowned in the south. More came through the north.
Something fiery this way comes, which means a shaman. Great...
But first we needed to save the cow.
FAGGOT
I wonder where did he go.
Enemy reinforcements have arrived from the north, and others have breached our southern defenses.
cocks.
Taking heavy fire.
Btw heavy fire.
BURRRRRRRRRRRN.
BUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRN!!!!!! (hah, managed to blast the previous tank without frying the villager)
Closing on target.
Engaging...
*fwoosh* Also, no sign of the shaman. He must have beamed in rather unfortunately somewhere next to a knight.
Ouch. Some of the worst results for a long time.
Nothing interesting took place in this season apparently, so brace yourself for more EXTREME action.
BOOOOOGIEEEEE!
Snow hordlings. AWESOME. Except that it's not awesome. I hate how they instantly tear down walls, like tanks.
One of the knights lost both his cows. INCOMPETENT FOOL.
Not only did he lose both cows, but also almost managed to get himself digested. Idiot.
A season full of snow hordlings.
I hate snow hordlings.
I think I should be making more screens of the strategy part, maybe at least one with an overview of the town, but honestly, it's so routine now I keep forgetting about it. Go to minimap, repair wall, buy cows, chop trees, plant trees, call horde.
Let's go south.
*queue ominous music* MEANWHILE...
While Chauncey was heading southward to stop the hordlings from tearing down the wall, another wave of the vile creatures assaulted the unguarded north!
I HATE SNOW HORDLINGS
HATE
HATE!!!!!!!
Now that's a big-ass snowball. At least he launched it at a building, and while they are forming them they're stationary for a second or two.
Which may prove fatal for them.
There's some serious ravaging going on around here.
And the last one got bashed somewhere by a knight. Which is gud.
Meh.
:evil: !!!!!
Stay tuned for more thwacking later. We're quickly approaching the end of the game.
In the last Update XXL (TM) we faced two years of the dreaded snow wasteland of Vesh. Now, we shall survive through year 4.
Strike the lights, welcome to the show!
The wall needs repairing
And repair he did.
Hordlings need thwacking.
It's quiet... too quiet...
A-HA!
Herr Oberleutnant! Ve are receiving a telegram from ze Reich. Zhey are being attacked und ask for assistance.
Well, then, full speed ahead, Herman.
AUSGEBOMBT!!!
A peculiar bug occurred here - I kept whacking at the hordling but it wouldn't die.
Had to run around it to find a place where he'd finally get hit.
Oops.
Right, summer, which means we can dig through water. Let's extend this moat just for the fuck of it.
When it freezes, the cows will be prisoners of ice, but at least we'll have easier time to navigate around them.
IIIIIIINCOMIIIIIING.
When I activated the map, I heard the roars of tanks. Awesome.
One idiot got drowned in the south. More came through the north.
Something fiery this way comes, which means a shaman. Great...
But first we needed to save the cow.
FAGGOT
I wonder where did he go.
Enemy reinforcements have arrived from the north, and others have breached our southern defenses.
cocks.
Taking heavy fire.
Btw heavy fire.
BURRRRRRRRRRRN.
BUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRN!!!!!! (hah, managed to blast the previous tank without frying the villager)
Closing on target.
Engaging...
*fwoosh* Also, no sign of the shaman. He must have beamed in rather unfortunately somewhere next to a knight.
Ouch. Some of the worst results for a long time.
Nothing interesting took place in this season apparently, so brace yourself for more EXTREME action.
BOOOOOGIEEEEE!
Snow hordlings. AWESOME. Except that it's not awesome. I hate how they instantly tear down walls, like tanks.
One of the knights lost both his cows. INCOMPETENT FOOL.
Not only did he lose both cows, but also almost managed to get himself digested. Idiot.
A season full of snow hordlings.
I hate snow hordlings.
I think I should be making more screens of the strategy part, maybe at least one with an overview of the town, but honestly, it's so routine now I keep forgetting about it. Go to minimap, repair wall, buy cows, chop trees, plant trees, call horde.
Let's go south.
*queue ominous music* MEANWHILE...
While Chauncey was heading southward to stop the hordlings from tearing down the wall, another wave of the vile creatures assaulted the unguarded north!
I HATE SNOW HORDLINGS
HATE
HATE!!!!!!!
Now that's a big-ass snowball. At least he launched it at a building, and while they are forming them they're stationary for a second or two.
Which may prove fatal for them.
There's some serious ravaging going on around here.
And the last one got bashed somewhere by a knight. Which is gud.
Meh.
:evil: !!!!!
Stay tuned for more thwacking later. We're quickly approaching the end of the game.
Last edited:
ghostdog said:
Not worth it, I think. Walls are relatively cheap to repair and the way the knights are currently stationed makes them cover (more or less...) the whole southern part through which the hordlings enter. Plus, the snow hordlings happen to be not stupid, unfortunately, and they'd just run through the knights as I witnessed them do before.
deuxhero
Arcane
Well, based on this Let's Play and a night of boredom, I created a TVTropes page for The Horde.
Do you know what time it is?
It's time for
Right, year 5 is behind us. Stay tuned, because we're two updates from finishing (if nothing goes ronk, of course).
It's time for
YEAR 5
Our thriving town with evil crops planted in the north.
Sir, the people demand thwacking o_@
I say, we shall give them thwacking, then.
NOOOOO, HE ATE SANTA
Smashing o_@
Summer. No need to dig after water this time around, though
However, the houses on the reaches are all surrounded by snow and can't grow crops. Something needs to be done about it.
BOOM!
Hmmm. Lotsa.
I love to watch the idiots drown.
Shit. Slow enemy reinforcements inbound. I think we all know what that means.
(soundtrack to this epic episode: Iced Earth - Declaration Day)
A desperate situation
Forced to retaliation
We'll charge into the fire
The cause we must inspire
SOOOOOOO WE MAKE OUR STAND AND PRAY
ON THIS DECLARATION DAY
FOR INDEPENDENCE I WILL FIGHT!
FOR LIBERTY I WILL DEFY!
SOOOOOO WE MAKE OUR STAND AND PRAY
ON THIS DECLARATION DAY
GIVE ME LIBERTY
OR GIVE ME DEATH
I'LL FIGHT TILL
MY. LAST. BREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATH
*stars and stripes waving in the wind*
Generic overview of the town. Funny thing is, I didn't notice the hole in the wall until winter's invasion.
Only 10. Which probably means all of them are snow hordlings.
Well, no, not all
But they sure are here anyway
Whoa, serious mayhem up ahead.
COME BACK HERE, DAMMIT.
queue epic chase scenes
Right, the last one.
How dare you throw snowballs at me, faggot?!
Again
Their damage is pathetic though (5).
Eh, oops?
Time to clear away some of that snow.
And fight again.
'Oh lawd, there's a hole in the wall. I wonder when did it appear?'
It would seem the majority of the attack comes from the south, so let us move there.
Whoa
crap.
MAN DOWN!
*HL: Opposing Force engineer* This whole operation is out of control!
There goes our knight *shrug*
There's one more shithead rampaging in the north. Let's assume the incompetent knights will be able to fend off this incoming tank, and go get the lone one in the village.
The tank is down. Good riddance.
Did I mention how much I hate snow hordlings?
harr harr
So-so, when compared to the previous seasons.
Oh thanks, chanc... OH, YOU JEW!
Our thriving town with evil crops planted in the north.
Sir, the people demand thwacking o_@
I say, we shall give them thwacking, then.
NOOOOO, HE ATE SANTA
Smashing o_@
Summer. No need to dig after water this time around, though
However, the houses on the reaches are all surrounded by snow and can't grow crops. Something needs to be done about it.
BOOM!
Hmmm. Lotsa.
I love to watch the idiots drown.
Shit. Slow enemy reinforcements inbound. I think we all know what that means.
(soundtrack to this epic episode: Iced Earth - Declaration Day)
A desperate situation
Forced to retaliation
We'll charge into the fire
The cause we must inspire
SOOOOOOO WE MAKE OUR STAND AND PRAY
ON THIS DECLARATION DAY
FOR INDEPENDENCE I WILL FIGHT!
FOR LIBERTY I WILL DEFY!
SOOOOOO WE MAKE OUR STAND AND PRAY
ON THIS DECLARATION DAY
GIVE ME LIBERTY
OR GIVE ME DEATH
I'LL FIGHT TILL
MY. LAST. BREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATH
*stars and stripes waving in the wind*
Generic overview of the town. Funny thing is, I didn't notice the hole in the wall until winter's invasion.
Only 10. Which probably means all of them are snow hordlings.
Well, no, not all
But they sure are here anyway
Whoa, serious mayhem up ahead.
COME BACK HERE, DAMMIT.
queue epic chase scenes
Right, the last one.
How dare you throw snowballs at me, faggot?!
Again
Their damage is pathetic though (5).
Eh, oops?
Time to clear away some of that snow.
And fight again.
'Oh lawd, there's a hole in the wall. I wonder when did it appear?'
It would seem the majority of the attack comes from the south, so let us move there.
Whoa
crap.
MAN DOWN!
*HL: Opposing Force engineer* This whole operation is out of control!
There goes our knight *shrug*
There's one more shithead rampaging in the north. Let's assume the incompetent knights will be able to fend off this incoming tank, and go get the lone one in the village.
The tank is down. Good riddance.
Did I mention how much I hate snow hordlings?
harr harr
So-so, when compared to the previous seasons.
Oh thanks, chanc... OH, YOU JEW!
Right, year 5 is behind us. Stay tuned, because we're two updates from finishing (if nothing goes ronk, of course).
Last edited:
- Joined
- May 13, 2009
- Messages
- 27,213
RONK
Oh, and uh...
will this suffice?
ghostdog said:
will this suffice?
Ice Wastes of Vesh
Stay tuned, for we are about to face the last year of the Ice Wastes, and of Horde itself!
I have no doubts, that the next update will be gritty, epic, dark and mature.
Also, is it just me, or did interest in this thread largely diminish as of late?
YEAR 6
The cow pen is in drastic need of repairs.
That's better
Time to fumigate.
Let's go south and whack the incoming enemy troops (probably the moment I go there, more will come from the north and eat my villagers).
Well, what do you know, I was right! Goddamn Hordling tacticians :evil:
Now for the leftovers.
Jolly good
Wooo, summer. Not like it matters, though.
Shaman is in da house.
I hate his teleportation. I really do.
Alright, he's down. Now to get the other enemy forces.
SHIT! It's like the Tree Realm all over again.
Time to activate the wunderwaffe.
Or wait, no, let's give the mace a 'spin'.
HOLY BUTTFUCK
ULTRA KILL.
Ok, uh... you can stop spinning now.
5-second-long daze. But damn, it was worth it.
One sucker left.
We can take this one out with the regular armaments.
Burrrrrrrrrn.
Although I must say, that while the items are all a huge convenience, they make the game too easy. I mean, compare this tank situation, to the one from the Tree Realm. Then I had to repeat the level 4 (?) times to survive a comparable wave of tanks, while nowadays, I just take out a flamethrower or an instagib mace :DeclineofHorde:
Lots of crops lost. Who cares?
(screenshot #2000 *fanfare of trumpets*)
If I recall correctly (which is possible that I don't), the hordling adoption programme means that there will be more hordlings incoming in the future.
Incoming from the north.
Let's make short work of the bastards
How jolly. Snow hordlings.
Taste cold half-demon steel, faggot
The knights should really develop better anti-snow hordling defence tactics.
This snow needs removing.
And voilla.
I wonder if these are snow hordlings coming from the south.
Why, yes, they are. ARRGH
The knights probably won't make it too well in the cow pen, but let's stop the lone hordling from ravaging the town.
Woooo, tanks. Awesome. At least they're not snow hordlings. Filthy creatures, I avoid them whenever I can.
Pesky taxes.
Yup, this seems like a valid reason.
The cow pen is in drastic need of repairs.
That's better
Time to fumigate.
Let's go south and whack the incoming enemy troops (probably the moment I go there, more will come from the north and eat my villagers).
Well, what do you know, I was right! Goddamn Hordling tacticians :evil:
Now for the leftovers.
Jolly good
Wooo, summer. Not like it matters, though.
Shaman is in da house.
I hate his teleportation. I really do.
Alright, he's down. Now to get the other enemy forces.
SHIT! It's like the Tree Realm all over again.
Time to activate the wunderwaffe.
Or wait, no, let's give the mace a 'spin'.
HOLY BUTTFUCK
ULTRA KILL.
Ok, uh... you can stop spinning now.
5-second-long daze. But damn, it was worth it.
One sucker left.
We can take this one out with the regular armaments.
Burrrrrrrrrn.
Although I must say, that while the items are all a huge convenience, they make the game too easy. I mean, compare this tank situation, to the one from the Tree Realm. Then I had to repeat the level 4 (?) times to survive a comparable wave of tanks, while nowadays, I just take out a flamethrower or an instagib mace :DeclineofHorde:
Lots of crops lost. Who cares?
(screenshot #2000 *fanfare of trumpets*)
If I recall correctly (which is possible that I don't), the hordling adoption programme means that there will be more hordlings incoming in the future.
Incoming from the north.
Let's make short work of the bastards
How jolly. Snow hordlings.
Taste cold half-demon steel, faggot
The knights should really develop better anti-snow hordling defence tactics.
This snow needs removing.
And voilla.
I wonder if these are snow hordlings coming from the south.
Why, yes, they are. ARRGH
The knights probably won't make it too well in the cow pen, but let's stop the lone hordling from ravaging the town.
Woooo, tanks. Awesome. At least they're not snow hordlings. Filthy creatures, I avoid them whenever I can.
Pesky taxes.
Yup, this seems like a valid reason.
Stay tuned, for we are about to face the last year of the Ice Wastes, and of Horde itself!
I have no doubts, that the next update will be gritty, epic, dark and mature.
Also, is it just me, or did interest in this thread largely diminish as of late?
Last edited:
Stauff
Liturgist
Darth the thread is awesome. I read it on a regular basis. So no bloody way does the interest diminish! Keep it up. We want to see the end of the Horde :evil: :evil: :evil:
spectre
Arcane
- Joined
- Oct 26, 2008
- Messages
- 5,409
This. The way I see it, for the last few upadates your finances are more or less stable and it basically boils down to thwacking snow hordlings in the cow pen now.
That said, I enjoyed this LP immensely. Made me replay Horde, last time (few years ago when I was still a brat) I couldn't get past the forest, now I am quickly gaining on you.
Keep this up, we want the ending credits.
Brother None
inXile Entertainment
- Joined
- Jul 11, 2004
- Messages
- 5,673
Nah man we're still reading.
I just don't have much to comment, other than that I really love the chancellor. He's deliciously evil.
I just don't have much to comment, other than that I really love the chancellor. He's deliciously evil.
Rabidredneck
Liturgist
- Joined
- Apr 4, 2009
- Messages
- 303
Read this thread since the beginning, want to see the end! Mega-Dittos in the good job.
Greetings Codexers. As you are aware, today we shall witness the last year of the Ice Wastes of Vesh, and see what happens in the world of Horde!
Well then. So, we made it to the grand finale. Thus ends the Horde LP, and I hope you enjoyed following it as much as I enjoyed playing the game!
I'm still disappointed that the Tree Realm was the most difficult part, though :<
YEAR 7
First thing we do, is empty the Shoppe.
Cow pen needs repairing, as always
Well then, let's get to work.
We shall use this little hordling invasion as proving grounds, just as you wanted, gentle readers.
First thing, teleport into the middle of a group of hordlings.
Second thing
Activate the Dragon!
WHOA
Scorch
and mayhem
at its finest
There goes a cow, a knight and some buildings.
Hilarious shit.
Right, the dragon expired, let's thwack the leftovers.
Well, as awesome as it is to have a death ray from above, Roscoe is exactly as I remember him: it does more havoc to your village more than to the hordlings.
Well then, gentlemen.
Let's see how the trident works.
NUCLEAR LAUNCH DETECTED
*boom*
Fun. It sends down meteors on hordlings' heads.
Hoho, more test subjects incoming (they're tanks, too).
(soundtrack to this episode: Astral Doors - Black Rain)
Fly away Enola Gay
Carrying the bomb of judgement day.
Land of the Rising Sun. Everyone waiting for the rain.
ATOMIC CLOUDS, BLACK RAIN!
BLACK RAIN!
HIROSHIMA
DROWNING IN BLACK RAIN!
Alright, now that we stopped dropping nukes on the hordlings, let's give the flute we found in the swamp a try.
Yup, everything keeps following you. They even get a speed boost.
Well then,
DO A BARREL ROLL!
How convenient to rob us of our potential base defences in the very last year, eh?
Well, fortunately it takes away only the archers, which we don't use. If it removed archers AND knights, we might have had a problem.
Damn horde crops are growin' on my turf
More test subjects. Hurrhurrhurr
Well, right. Let's do some regular thwacking for a change.
Oh jolly. Snow hordlings in bound.
More epic chase scenes
Holy shit, 7 villagers. When was the last time we had a genocide of these proportions?
Alright, winter.
Time to employ more base defences.
None shall pass o_@
Almost every building has a personal knight guarding it. Just in case.
Let's teleport into the cow pen, 'cause I have a silly feeling these might be snow hordlings.
Why, yes, they were snow hordlings.
zzzziiiiiiing
Hrm.
hohoho
ATOMIC CLOUDS, BLACK RAIN!
Well, it also blasted the knight and two cows, but hell. Collateral damage is perfectly acceptable :Americafuckyeah:
Teleported back to the base.
And since it's the only item we didn't use yet, let's get some healing.
Wow. A grand total of 20 hp healed for 50 gold. Totally not worth it.
We are victorious!
Chancellor Ragealot
:D
Dammit Chancellor, what happened to you? You used to be so cool.
What the hell? Did he just make him asplode with a fried chicken?
Or whatever that was he took... it wasn't quite clear, even with sounds.
First thing we do, is empty the Shoppe.
Cow pen needs repairing, as always
Well then, let's get to work.
We shall use this little hordling invasion as proving grounds, just as you wanted, gentle readers.
First thing, teleport into the middle of a group of hordlings.
Second thing
Activate the Dragon!
WHOA
Scorch
and mayhem
at its finest
There goes a cow, a knight and some buildings.
Hilarious shit.
Right, the dragon expired, let's thwack the leftovers.
Well, as awesome as it is to have a death ray from above, Roscoe is exactly as I remember him: it does more havoc to your village more than to the hordlings.
Well then, gentlemen.
Let's see how the trident works.
NUCLEAR LAUNCH DETECTED
*boom*
Fun. It sends down meteors on hordlings' heads.
Hoho, more test subjects incoming (they're tanks, too).
(soundtrack to this episode: Astral Doors - Black Rain)
Fly away Enola Gay
Carrying the bomb of judgement day.
Land of the Rising Sun. Everyone waiting for the rain.
ATOMIC CLOUDS, BLACK RAIN!
BLACK RAIN!
HIROSHIMA
DROWNING IN BLACK RAIN!
Alright, now that we stopped dropping nukes on the hordlings, let's give the flute we found in the swamp a try.
Yup, everything keeps following you. They even get a speed boost.
Well then,
DO A BARREL ROLL!
How convenient to rob us of our potential base defences in the very last year, eh?
Well, fortunately it takes away only the archers, which we don't use. If it removed archers AND knights, we might have had a problem.
Damn horde crops are growin' on my turf
More test subjects. Hurrhurrhurr
Well, right. Let's do some regular thwacking for a change.
Oh jolly. Snow hordlings in bound.
More epic chase scenes
Holy shit, 7 villagers. When was the last time we had a genocide of these proportions?
Alright, winter.
Time to employ more base defences.
None shall pass o_@
Almost every building has a personal knight guarding it. Just in case.
Let's teleport into the cow pen, 'cause I have a silly feeling these might be snow hordlings.
Why, yes, they were snow hordlings.
zzzziiiiiiing
Hrm.
hohoho
ATOMIC CLOUDS, BLACK RAIN!
Well, it also blasted the knight and two cows, but hell. Collateral damage is perfectly acceptable :Americafuckyeah:
Teleported back to the base.
And since it's the only item we didn't use yet, let's get some healing.
Wow. A grand total of 20 hp healed for 50 gold. Totally not worth it.
We are victorious!
Chancellor Ragealot
:D
Dammit Chancellor, what happened to you? You used to be so cool.
What the hell? Did he just make him asplode with a fried chicken?
Or whatever that was he took... it wasn't quite clear, even with sounds.
Well then. So, we made it to the grand finale. Thus ends the Horde LP, and I hope you enjoyed following it as much as I enjoyed playing the game!
I'm still disappointed that the Tree Realm was the most difficult part, though :<
Last edited:
Jim Cojones
Prophet
Seems like one of the versions of the game came with pretty well done cutscenes:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f13xboVPgE4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sSKikAHHyl8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f13xboVPgE4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sSKikAHHyl8
- Joined
- Nov 4, 2007
- Messages
- 14,785
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