Completed Let's play: GROM (Finished!)

[Darth Roxor]

Let's see what we can find in this here pass.

Spoiler

Them nazis, obviously.

Much deserved.

Lotsa.

Let's try lobbin' sum grenades on their arses.

Grom throws a grenade, but it explodes against the chorten, attracting much attention.

Other grenades, however,

Meet their targets.

Pretty...

Grom?

Get up, faggot.

Grom! What's wrong with you?

I don't know. I feel weak... I can't see anything.

Well, well, our irreplaceable hero shows weakness...

Hans the white knight.

Zing!

Did you see that? He disappeared!

Now he's in the power of the demons... Do you remember my story about my father?

So what do we do now?

Shhh... did you hear that noise?

It's a yeti! We have to act quickly!

We won't do anything on our own. Let's go on, we must find someone who can bring Grom back from the land of demons.

You are right, let's move on.

But not before we kick some yeti arse!

They will want to toy with him...

Oh dear. Hope you packed your lube today, Grom...

What is this place?

Well, whatever it is, there is an angry demon here that has like 2000 hp. Shooting him is just a waste of bullets. He also keeps throwing really mean fireballs.

So we start running around the place. The room starts flashing with lightning arcs...

Well, not much of an explosion, but it gets hit for a couple -100s.

Also, right after triggering the raep, firewalls start popping up. We can hide behind them.

Okay, this shit is too slow.

Let's stab him to death instead.

HOLY COW

Okay, let's not stab him to death instead.

Grom gets up and returns to jogging around the room.

Some more explosions

Since the demon is a filthy popamolist that can't go up and engage us in buttraping melee or something, we hide behind a firewall and eat up a medkit.

boom

jog jog jog jog

boom

and boom again.



Time to find a way off this rock...

Or not really!

This time, we have to face some wacky blind demons and lead them into fire traps all over the floor.

Soundtrack for this episode

The demons are blind, and thus, pretty dumb, so they move into traps like lambs to the slaughter. Still, they have shitloads of hp and it takes a while to fell them.

One down. Hundred million billion to go.

Another down.

Every now and then a blue flame pops up, speeding up their healing. Nothing we can do to prevent it (or at least, I can't see any way)

And another one gone

And another one gone

And another one bites the dust.

That's the last of 'em. Maybe now we can gtfo...

Oh for crying out loud

KNEE DEEP IN BLOODY HELL

Convenient.

Eat lead, motherfuckers!

Okay, let's not use the blunderbuss after all. Retardedly high reload time is high.

The rifle does the job just as fine.

And the faggot's down. Maybe now we can leave? Or shall we have to face hippy demons, too?

Whoa. Well, dunno about hippy demons, but trippy demons for sure.

Where am I?

By the gods! So Grom found his way... HERE?!

Why me? What do you want from me?

You'll soon get to know everything. I know your story. I know what the war in Europe has taken away from your life.

If you are playing with me, you'll pay dearly.

Don't be afraid. I don't want to harm you. I want your help.

You want my help? You've got enough power to settle your matters alone. You've got zombo.com the original cosmos.

How do you know I'll help you?

Don't let those scoundrels get hold on Brahmashiras. I ask you for that, me, Padmasambhava, the king of this land.

Oh my

How can I find this city?

I love the 'so' here. It's so misplaced.

Magic!

If they nazis get the document, a sea of blood will flow, and you mission will fail.

I'll save your country and destroy the fortress of the enemy. I'll complete the mission.

Good luck, we'll meet at the end of your journey.

So long, fancy pyjama-man.

Pyjaman?

Meanwhile, the rest of our bros arrive at...

Yeah, where exactly?

The answer to this and many other questions shall be revealed in the next episode of Grom: Mofo demons in Tibet. Stay tuned

 

[anus_pounder]

 

[Gondolin]

Le moar.

 

[Brother None]

Great stuff Roxor.

Do I get the correct impression that those demon-bits were kinda boring? Giant HP tanks that you have to chip down with repetitive tricks?

 

[Darth Roxor]

Great stuff Roxor.

Do I get the correct impression that those demon-bits were kinda boring? Giant HP tanks that you have to chip down with repetitive tricks?

Quite. The fire demon thing was basically just running around for 5 minutes and pushing the button of awesome every now and then. Blind demons were a bit more amusing, since you could make stupid things die in stupid ways and the undead demons were a regular fight, so...

 

[curry]

Why did I completely miss this game when I still didn't give a shit about graphics? :poop:

 

[Darth Roxor]

[perception] there are two updates on this page

 

[Azira]

 

[Gondolin]

[BROness] Bump for moar updates.

 

[Crooked Bee]

Bump!

 

[JoKa]

BUMP

 

[Darth Roxor]

As you may or may not remember, in the last update, Gromosław was abducted by aliens demons, and the rest arrived in this funky looking... fortress-thing.

Spoiler

Not much to find on the walls except for some basic supplies.

Some bandits below, but they don't seem hostile.

Still, let's check what's in those towers first.

Three almost identical-looking circular rooms with nothing to do inside the towers. Guess there'll be more to do later.

Let's have a chat with the bandits.

We're wanderers looking for help.

How did you get here?

The Oracle sent us here.

The Oracle? Improbable. But if it's true, you can join us

Wait! You know about the Oracle, may you can help us?

Ask the people around the fire. We travel a lot, we've seen a lot, maybe we can help you.

What's the matter?

The high altitudes did not treat our friend well...

That's quite an understatement

That's quite normal with foreigners. We don't have that problem.

This happens. Talk about it with our wiseman, he will help you.

Oh my

Mystical!

The wiseman disappears in the purple haze...

AND HE MORPHS INTO GROM?!

Oh...

You've wandered very far, foreigner.

But I came back thanks to you. I'm in your debt.

The time will surely come for you to pay this debt.

Tell us, how can we get to the Room of Sinners?

Is it just me... or did the above dialogue make absolutely no sense at all?

Then lend me your stilettos, please.

I don't have them. They are hidden in this city, I can give you notes describing the hiding place. Wait a moment...

OSHI-

Uh-oh

THE NAZIS ARE ISSUING MULTIPLE, SIMULTANEOUS AND DEVASTATING DEFENSIVE DEEP STRIKES

The bandits see this and leg it.

THE CODEX ASTARTES NAMES THIS MANOEUVRE "STEEL RAIN"

The nazis will descend upon us

They will overwhelm us

(neat that the bandits left 10 grenades behind them )

They will leave none alive!

Hans is the first to get up and slaughter the last kommando.

And before we can heal up with canned food...

The zeppelin drops more opposition.

Let's try putting some mines into this chokepoint.

But then Margaret eats a grenade

Which means I have to timewarp to the first wave of troopers thanks to lack of savegame.

Still, it went a lot better than last time.

There they come again.

Placed two mines but the faggots stepped only on one.

They were quickly dispatched, though, and we take the time to heal up.

More helmuts up ahead.

Aaaand that's the last of 'em. Nothing left here but funerals.

I'm afraid it's not the end yet.

Anyway, I think you've more than paid back for my help... Here are the plans of places with the sacred stilettos.

So I heard you like dagers.

Damn, those dagers sure are well hidden, alright.

Time to take out the trash.

There are dagers placed in each tower's centre. We'll have to kick the shit out of them nazi boys, take the dagers and gtfo.

A sneaky helmut comes over and lobs a grenade on our collective arses.

After which we proceed with major stabbing.

To continue with more stabbing...

And end with the snatching of a dager.

We move eastward, into another tower.

Stabstabstab

Dakpa is ragin' with a blunderbuss.

And we find the fourth dager. Only one left.

Entering the western tower, we immediately face tangos

Which ends up with another lovely clusterfuck while Grom does the stabbing. Cool thing is, the nazis won't shoot their bros in the backs, which means you can cleverly abuse that by using an enemy as a meatshield while you are stabbing. The other germans will just stand their with their weapons raised and do nothing

Surprise buttsechz.

And the last cowardly Ludwig gets shot in the back as he attempts to flee :nkvd:

We loot the final dager.

Let's see...

There are holes in the chest-high walls to the left and right.

O SNAP

Magickal!

The tablet floats a bit and then crashes into the ground in a rather anticlimatic way, which somehow made me think of this

Not terribly useful for now, but I'm sure it will be significant later.

Time to hit the road again.

Definitely not an ambush up ahead, amirite

 

[Gondolin]

A wild update appears. :D

 

[Drakron]

 

[Brother None]

...looks like he's peeing fire. Gotta hurt.

 

[anus_pounder]

 

[Darth Roxor]

Rumours of this LP's demise have been greatly exaggerated.

Spoiler

Ambush? Preposterous! That never happens.

Looks promising.

Oshi-

We must have trespassed on someone's territory

[intelligence] You are saying that there is no way out and we are trapped?

Something like that. Someone wants us to stay here.

What for? We came here peacefully.

Maybe that someone is hungry.

You were right, Grom. Problems are your specialty. Have you any idea how to get us out of this?

I know where I remember these statues from! There's a bloody history related to them. But I'm not quite sure you want to hear it right now.

What kind of place is it?

If we manage to survive, the only way to get out is to take the jewels to the river. Then the demons will set us free.

Sounds easy enough. Get your guns ready and let's take a look around.

The door is locked.

Hey, it's our Pepik friend from the first updates! What is he doing here?

Lizards?

I think they are hungry. Here they come, run!

Cowardly Pepik runs away. Typical for this slimy nation.

Oh my

THE LIZARD OVERLORDS DEMAND THEIR JEWELS.

Let's see what's in that closest building.

Hm, some silly figurines. Well, let's take 'em, I mean, how heavy can those things be?

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

Lizard overlords are hostile to our cause, which doesn't make a lot of sense.

And killing them is actually quite pointless because they respawn. Joy of joys. Regardless, we activate haulin' ass mode and evac all the figurines outside.

But it doesn't quite work, neither does dropping them into the river.

There's still this building to check, though.

Intriguing. We can investigate the northwest corner.

Damn, I have no idea what to do here. Nothing stands out from this pile of rubbish.

Grom takes the tablet and shows it to Hans.

This is an ancient language, Sanskrit. I can read the text.

The end. That's all I could read.

Deeper inside the building is a statue of Bubba and a couple of 'places'.

We can, in fact, place the figurines in the places.

After running back and forth for a while and evading lizard overlords, we finally place all statues at Bubba's feet.

And an elevator pops out with $$$$

$$$$ that takes as much space as the fucking statues but at least this time there's four piles of them, instead of six, which means less running back and forth.

We rush to the river and drop the $$$$ into it.

Incoming scalefags. Is this the end of Gromosław & co.?

They roar a bit...

And run away. *shrug*

Cowardly Pepik returns.

We were less lucky. What the hell are you doing here, you were supposed to be on the Chinese trail!

I changed the route a little bit because I found some good business opportunities. Do you know that widow left by lieutenant Chang? She's rich! She's got a ton of treasure!

What did you get into? Don't you know that you can't do business with communists? You can't trust them!

:potatobutthurt:

You see everything so bleaky, it's not like that! You have no idea what the widow's feelings are towards me.

Just don't say I didn't warn you.

You sound like my mother. God bless her soul. It's good she's not here. I'm going to Upshi, do you want to go with me?

I do. I need to hire a wizard. Who's going with us?

I'll wait here for you. There are so many splendid things here - I'd like to spend more time. I'll wait for you in the chorten.

I've got no business in Upshi. No important information for my boss, I'll stay here. Besides, someone has to knock out and rob protect Hans.

I'll go with you, Grom. I may meet my beloved girl on the way.

We'll come back in a few days. Wait for us. The Klu probably won't disturb you, but try not to tease them.

Margaret and Hans will wait for us here while everyone else hauls ass to Upshi to hire a POWERFUL WIZARD! This is totally going to end well.

The water demons pooped some sort of a precious gem when they left, we'll hold on to it.

Next station - Upshi. Again.

 

[lightbane]

*coughes dust and cobwebs* Yay, an update, at last!

 

[Drakron]

I've got no business in Upshi. No important information for my boss, I'll stay here. Besides, someone has to knock out and rape protect Hans.

 

[Brother None]

Wow that bit looked annoying gameplay wise

Wooh update!

 

[anus_pounder]

 

[Darth Roxor]

WTB 4 replies to get new page.

 

[Gondolin]

Le bump.

 

[lightbane]

WTB 4 replies to get new page.

Intelligence: So you want us to bump to new page?? Ok.

BUMP!!

 

[Gondolin]

More bumps are required.