FeelTheRads
Arcane
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2008
- Messages
- 13,716
You know how last time I was worried the game is going downhill? Boy was I wrong! Grab a seat, bros, you're in for a treat!
I ended the last update with the finding of some junk. In the meantime I found two other pieces of junk (this game is just full of junk harhar) which I still don't know what they are for, but I also found a Home-Made Laser Rifle and Metal boots.. or pants.. or stockings?
Goddamn, Nadia, always the sexy fox.
And it looks like a lot of stuff is home-made. Kinda like this game is home-made right into Chuck's toilet bowl.
Then I move on through the next area and what is this?
Another Laser Rifle behind that truck. This is an example of text-book game design which is literally in each area of this game: place something the player might want in a location they can see but can't reach, only after going through the whole level.
Now, you might think, isn't that a road there to the left? And you would think wrong. It looks like a road, but it's just two walls coming into a corner. The wonders of 3D perspective and shit textures, huh?
Well, anyway, I say "fuck you, Chuck, I already got your shitty rifle" and move on to find some bulky asshole who blows himself up or something.
Huh, call me Nostradamus, but I think these are the mutants. He's transparent because by the time I realized what's going on and took the screenshot he started fading away.
Then inside of some building more ghouls and clever dialog
Paul: Is that what it is? Huh. Weird.
Jake: Sometimes you disgust me, Paul.
Paul: Yeah, sometimes I disgust myself.
Paul and Jake, huh? I think I preferred Ghoul 1 and Ghoul 2.
Disgusted as they are, they open the door and they get to chew on some lead.
Further down a couple of roads I get a notification that I got some experience for discovering the mutants. What? OK. But OMG, they attack.
Not to worry, though, barrels are a mutant's worst enemy
That was all the mutants so far and this area was now empty. Before moving into the next one I found a shortcut back to the beginning where Harold and the merchant were. So I go there to stock up and say hello to my buddy Harold.
First I stop by the merchant
So, I ask what the hell is he talking about and
Alright, sounds good! I'm in!
I'm already taking part in a hideous massacre of the Fallout franchise, am I not? Well, let's see what this one is about.
Gladiator games, gladiator pit. Are you not entertained?
The thing about this is like sort of an endurance round. You keep fighting group after group of more and more powerful enemies. Starting from radscorpions, going through dogs and raiders and...
But wait, why the fuck does this exist? And why do I get payed for it? Are there spectators? There's no-one around the area. Is this ghoul some kind of pervert? And why are there raiders too? Why are they doing this? These questions will forever remained unanswered.
Since I was close to leveling up I did a couple of rounds and then I googled to see when or if this ever ends. Oh boy. Check this out:
Invisible Deathclaws? Haven't found any of them yet. I hope I see them when I do hurrr.
But the best: At the end you fight "Wasteland Stranger".
So, you get to fight the guy at the beginning in Carbon who's apparently the Vault Dweller from Fallout 1. Why? Why is he doing this? What's he doing there? Wrap your head around that one. Like Chuck wrapped his asshole around this turd.
Alright, enough of this
This fag is getting on my nerves. If only there was a way to kill him.
Let's see our old pal Harold now.
Still haven't found his goddamn toe, so I give him what I have and he puts himself back
Now I can play the piano again...
Whatever you say, buddy.
I go back to the crazy ghouls after this. And I manage to take a shot of the laser:
Sweet, that makes me happy.
And yet again, ghouls behind locked doors so you are forced to listen to:
Ghoul 2: Yeah, moths ago. Yours?
Ghoul 1: Mine fell of just now. Wanna help me look for them?
Ghoul 2: Sure...
I don't even. OK, so I kill them, because what else you could do and then, in a nearby room...
A pentagram? An altar with a.. virgin? So the ghouls are satanists? What is that blue thing, though? I'm almost afraid to get closer...
Yes, that is the Vault Boy. I think. Looks like he was strained through someone's bowels.
And it says "Do not touch!" if you stand close to the altar. Of course I'm gonna touch, what the fuck, Chuck? And this happens if you touch:
So, a satanic ritual and Vault Boy with radiation streaming out of his eyes...
Barely out of the bewildered state that put me in, I found Harold's toe:
Goddamn you, Harold, I was just there, now I have to go back? With this game you never know if you'll get the chance to get back if you move to another area, so I do because I don't want to miss finishing such an engaging quest.
Not worth it.
In the next area that big asshole ghoul from the start of the chapter starts with his nonsense again:
And also a gigantic turd lies on my hard drive stinking it up something horrible.
Here I find another merchant:
But wait, he looks familiar. And Nadia thinks so to! Clever girl, she uses [Intelligence].
Ah, you must mean saving money on 3D models. Indeed.
And of course now I have to go back to Harold's area yet again, because remember that's where the other merchant is.
Lowly courier? Minimal gratuity. Goddamn you and your fancy words.
So back to the other brother now
Haha, take that. Lowly courier my ass.
This area is called "Holding Pens" or some such and there are some people held captive that I have to rescue while that big asshole keeps going on with the nonsense:
Hint: This game is shit.
Ghoul 1 and Ghoul 2 are at it again:
Ghoul 2: You hate everything
Ghoul 1 is a codexer.
Ghoul 1: I especially hate you, Tom.
Tom? I thought he was Ghoul 2. I swear they probably intended to give all of these eh.. characters names, but in the end they just said "fuck this shit".
They die too and I go on...
By this time I also found a big machine gun. Forgot to screenshot it, will maybe show it up later. You can sort of see on the character in the above screenshot, if you can tell what is what. It's pretty good. In the screenshot above that I have the power fists. Which suck shit.
I get to the end of this area too
Oh, torture chamber. Let's see...
It starts with a cutscene of the big asshole, some paladin fag and shitty metal music playing
P.S. He has Cloud's sword, avoid at all costs.
Man, this guy has a way with words I've never seen before.
Ghoul Cult Priest: You do not comprehend that we are the same?
The "we are actually the same" shtick, eh? Story telling 101.
Ghoul Cult Priest: The Brotherhood of Steel and the Church of the Lost...
Ghoul Cult Priest: ...guarding against the terrors of science.
Is that what the steel bros, do?
Brotherhood Paladin: We are not the same! And when a squad of Brotherhood knights arrives...
Brotherhood Paladin: ...they will tear through your precious city, digging up all your secrets...
Ghoul Cult Priest doesn't take this bullshit so he smacks Brotherhood Paladin over the face
Ghoul Cult Priest: You will die tomorrow. Howling...
What are those heads in "crystals"? No fucking clue.
Well, the priest leaves for now and I head for my paladin bro. Of course first thing he did after leaving was to grab the mic again
Paradise? What's with the satanic rituals then? Hell is heaven? Heaven is hell? There's some deep shit going on here.
So, who's this paladin?
Alriiiight...
How does he know who I am? Haven't said anything, I'm not even wearing anything similar.
Nadia: I've done all right. Which one of use is strung up like a slaughtered cow?
Tough cookie this Nadia.
Rhombus: Well, you've got sand, initiate. Good for you... but this bickering is pointless. The situation is far too grave. You must help me get free!
Nadia: All right. What do I have to do?
That's all I can talk with him for now. I thought there's gonna be more ghoul shooting until I get to the priest, but nope. As the conversation with Rhombus was over, he popped up.
Blake? Who the fuck is Blake?
Ah, he's Blake
Nope, sorry to tell you, the only thing you are is a figment of the imagination of a disturbed Mexican.
None may enter; nothing can leave.
None may enter; nothing can leave...
None may enter; nothing can leave........
This sounds familiar somehow, doesn't it?
Hmm...
http://fallout.wikia.com/wiki/Vault_101
Because in Vault 101: no one ever enters, and no one... ever leaves...
Nadia: You rehearsed that, didn't you? Try it again... this time with feeling.
Oh, fuck, shit's getting serious now. I can tell because the shitty metal is back.
And it does. He attacks and starts going at me with his sword. It's so fucking huge he hits me from half a room away.
But he doesn't last that long. The heavy machine gun did a good job on him.
Ok then, let's see about this Rhombus fella.
Escorting him means going back through several of the areas I was in already. Of course, they're full of enemies again, and now there's ghouls that run straight at you and blow themselves up. In other words, terrorists. I expected them to yell "allahu akbar", but Chuck is above such lowly humor.
Nothing much now except a lot of shooting until we get to where Rhombus hid the key
But fuck, a terrorist ghoul runs for him and...
Nadia: I assume you're talking about the mutants. What do I have to do?
Rhombus: You must take the keycard... find the secret vault. Get there before the mutants do... One of the ghouls on the bridge must have some information...
Rhombus: Hurry, initiate... the Brotherhood is counting on you... This world may be wounded, but that makes it all the more precious...
~ Chuck Cuevas: Fucking Quality Poet.
And the bridge again? One of the two ghouls there is now dead and I bet Harold will be useless.
Well... I first go by the live merchant, he has some combat armor, I have some money so you see where this is going.
Rockin'!
Then I make my way to Harold
Fuuuuuuuuuuuu.... you suck, Harold.
Yeah, yeah, whatever.
There was some door that was locked before so I figure that must be where I must go. That apart from the blinking dot on the minimap, of course.
Vault-Tec storage. Could there be they stored a Vault inside? Let's see.
The place is full of mutants. They even warn you, but I didn't listen:
Of course, one of the first things you find is a combat armor. Which I just bought if you rember. Fuuuuuuuuu...
Some asshole mutant was breaking apart a generator before I got to him
Fuck, I don't even know why I needed the generator, but it's a well known fact that if there's a generator you have to start it.
Luckily there's another one a couple of levels down so I start it.
Something happens I guess, there's a bit more light, and in a nearby room...
I have a bad feeling too, I guess I'll have to fight those turrets.
And indeed, after the turrets kill the mutants
Well, they weren't much of a problem either. Stand in such a way that they're in a line in front of you and you only get shot by one of them at a time.
The combat armor was also helpful.
And it looks like the turrets were the "boss" for this chapter. In the next room I find the entrance to the vault and two screens, one of which is showing either a shithead or a reptilian overlord.
But we'll see what it's in the Vault next time. I'm telling you, it looks fucking promising.
And now, the bonus section:
I ended the last update with the finding of some junk. In the meantime I found two other pieces of junk (this game is just full of junk harhar) which I still don't know what they are for, but I also found a Home-Made Laser Rifle and Metal boots.. or pants.. or stockings?
Goddamn, Nadia, always the sexy fox.
And it looks like a lot of stuff is home-made. Kinda like this game is home-made right into Chuck's toilet bowl.
Then I move on through the next area and what is this?
Another Laser Rifle behind that truck. This is an example of text-book game design which is literally in each area of this game: place something the player might want in a location they can see but can't reach, only after going through the whole level.
Now, you might think, isn't that a road there to the left? And you would think wrong. It looks like a road, but it's just two walls coming into a corner. The wonders of 3D perspective and shit textures, huh?
Well, anyway, I say "fuck you, Chuck, I already got your shitty rifle" and move on to find some bulky asshole who blows himself up or something.
Huh, call me Nostradamus, but I think these are the mutants. He's transparent because by the time I realized what's going on and took the screenshot he started fading away.
Then inside of some building more ghouls and clever dialog
Paul: Is that what it is? Huh. Weird.
Jake: Sometimes you disgust me, Paul.
Paul: Yeah, sometimes I disgust myself.
Paul and Jake, huh? I think I preferred Ghoul 1 and Ghoul 2.
Disgusted as they are, they open the door and they get to chew on some lead.
Further down a couple of roads I get a notification that I got some experience for discovering the mutants. What? OK. But OMG, they attack.
Not to worry, though, barrels are a mutant's worst enemy
That was all the mutants so far and this area was now empty. Before moving into the next one I found a shortcut back to the beginning where Harold and the merchant were. So I go there to stock up and say hello to my buddy Harold.
First I stop by the merchant
So, I ask what the hell is he talking about and
Alright, sounds good! I'm in!
I'm already taking part in a hideous massacre of the Fallout franchise, am I not? Well, let's see what this one is about.
Gladiator games, gladiator pit. Are you not entertained?
The thing about this is like sort of an endurance round. You keep fighting group after group of more and more powerful enemies. Starting from radscorpions, going through dogs and raiders and...
But wait, why the fuck does this exist? And why do I get payed for it? Are there spectators? There's no-one around the area. Is this ghoul some kind of pervert? And why are there raiders too? Why are they doing this? These questions will forever remained unanswered.
Since I was close to leveling up I did a couple of rounds and then I googled to see when or if this ever ends. Oh boy. Check this out:
<<GLADIATOR CHALLENGE>>
Level 1: Radscorpions (100 caps)
Level 2: Radscorpions and Spitting Radscorpions (200 caps)
Level 3: Radscorpions and Spitting Radscoprions (300 caps)
Level 4: Radier Chicks (400 caps)
Level 5: Raider Chicks (500 caps)
Level 6: Radscorpions and Glowing Ghouls (600 caps)
Level 7: Radscorpions, Glowing Ghouls, Poison Dogs (700 caps)
Level 8: Glowing Ghouls, Normal Ghoul, Poison Dogs (800 caps)
Level 9: Lots of Ghouls, Glowing Ghouls, Poison Dogs (1000 caps)
Level 10: Poison Dogs, SMG Ghouls (1200 caps)
Level 11: Poison Dogs, Ghouls, SMG Ghouls (1400 Caps)
Level 12: Shotgun Ghouls, Ghouls (1600 Caps)
Level 13: Poison Dogs, Shotgun Ghouls, SMG Ghouls (2000 Caps)
Level 14: Cleaver Ghouls. Shotgun Ghouls (2500 Caps)
Level 15: Cleaver Ghouls, Shotgun Ghouls, SMG Ghouls (3000 Caps)
Level 16: Cleaver Ghouls, Shotgun Ghouls, SMG Ghouls (3500 Caps)
Level 17: Shotgun Ghouls, SMG Ghouls (4000 Caps)
Level 18: Deathclaw (1) (7000 Caps)
Level 19: Deathclaws (3) (10000 Caps)
Level 20: Invisible Death Claws (3) Deathclaws (2) (20000 Caps)
Level 21: Wasteland Stranger with Continuous Laser (50000 Caps)
Level 1: Radscorpions (100 caps)
Level 2: Radscorpions and Spitting Radscorpions (200 caps)
Level 3: Radscorpions and Spitting Radscoprions (300 caps)
Level 4: Radier Chicks (400 caps)
Level 5: Raider Chicks (500 caps)
Level 6: Radscorpions and Glowing Ghouls (600 caps)
Level 7: Radscorpions, Glowing Ghouls, Poison Dogs (700 caps)
Level 8: Glowing Ghouls, Normal Ghoul, Poison Dogs (800 caps)
Level 9: Lots of Ghouls, Glowing Ghouls, Poison Dogs (1000 caps)
Level 10: Poison Dogs, SMG Ghouls (1200 caps)
Level 11: Poison Dogs, Ghouls, SMG Ghouls (1400 Caps)
Level 12: Shotgun Ghouls, Ghouls (1600 Caps)
Level 13: Poison Dogs, Shotgun Ghouls, SMG Ghouls (2000 Caps)
Level 14: Cleaver Ghouls. Shotgun Ghouls (2500 Caps)
Level 15: Cleaver Ghouls, Shotgun Ghouls, SMG Ghouls (3000 Caps)
Level 16: Cleaver Ghouls, Shotgun Ghouls, SMG Ghouls (3500 Caps)
Level 17: Shotgun Ghouls, SMG Ghouls (4000 Caps)
Level 18: Deathclaw (1) (7000 Caps)
Level 19: Deathclaws (3) (10000 Caps)
Level 20: Invisible Death Claws (3) Deathclaws (2) (20000 Caps)
Level 21: Wasteland Stranger with Continuous Laser (50000 Caps)
Invisible Deathclaws? Haven't found any of them yet. I hope I see them when I do hurrr.
But the best: At the end you fight "Wasteland Stranger".
So, you get to fight the guy at the beginning in Carbon who's apparently the Vault Dweller from Fallout 1. Why? Why is he doing this? What's he doing there? Wrap your head around that one. Like Chuck wrapped his asshole around this turd.
Alright, enough of this
This fag is getting on my nerves. If only there was a way to kill him.
Let's see our old pal Harold now.
Still haven't found his goddamn toe, so I give him what I have and he puts himself back
Now I can play the piano again...
Whatever you say, buddy.
I go back to the crazy ghouls after this. And I manage to take a shot of the laser:
Sweet, that makes me happy.
And yet again, ghouls behind locked doors so you are forced to listen to:
Ghoul 2: Yeah, moths ago. Yours?
Ghoul 1: Mine fell of just now. Wanna help me look for them?
Ghoul 2: Sure...
I don't even. OK, so I kill them, because what else you could do and then, in a nearby room...
A pentagram? An altar with a.. virgin? So the ghouls are satanists? What is that blue thing, though? I'm almost afraid to get closer...
Yes, that is the Vault Boy. I think. Looks like he was strained through someone's bowels.
And it says "Do not touch!" if you stand close to the altar. Of course I'm gonna touch, what the fuck, Chuck? And this happens if you touch:
So, a satanic ritual and Vault Boy with radiation streaming out of his eyes...
Barely out of the bewildered state that put me in, I found Harold's toe:
Goddamn you, Harold, I was just there, now I have to go back? With this game you never know if you'll get the chance to get back if you move to another area, so I do because I don't want to miss finishing such an engaging quest.
Not worth it.
In the next area that big asshole ghoul from the start of the chapter starts with his nonsense again:
And also a gigantic turd lies on my hard drive stinking it up something horrible.
Here I find another merchant:
But wait, he looks familiar. And Nadia thinks so to! Clever girl, she uses [Intelligence].
Ah, you must mean saving money on 3D models. Indeed.
And of course now I have to go back to Harold's area yet again, because remember that's where the other merchant is.
Lowly courier? Minimal gratuity. Goddamn you and your fancy words.
So back to the other brother now
Haha, take that. Lowly courier my ass.
This area is called "Holding Pens" or some such and there are some people held captive that I have to rescue while that big asshole keeps going on with the nonsense:
Hint: This game is shit.
Ghoul 1 and Ghoul 2 are at it again:
Ghoul 2: You hate everything
Ghoul 1 is a codexer.
Ghoul 1: I especially hate you, Tom.
Tom? I thought he was Ghoul 2. I swear they probably intended to give all of these eh.. characters names, but in the end they just said "fuck this shit".
They die too and I go on...
By this time I also found a big machine gun. Forgot to screenshot it, will maybe show it up later. You can sort of see on the character in the above screenshot, if you can tell what is what. It's pretty good. In the screenshot above that I have the power fists. Which suck shit.
I get to the end of this area too
Oh, torture chamber. Let's see...
It starts with a cutscene of the big asshole, some paladin fag and shitty metal music playing
P.S. He has Cloud's sword, avoid at all costs.
Man, this guy has a way with words I've never seen before.
Ghoul Cult Priest: You do not comprehend that we are the same?
The "we are actually the same" shtick, eh? Story telling 101.
Ghoul Cult Priest: The Brotherhood of Steel and the Church of the Lost...
Ghoul Cult Priest: ...guarding against the terrors of science.
Is that what the steel bros, do?
Brotherhood Paladin: We are not the same! And when a squad of Brotherhood knights arrives...
Brotherhood Paladin: ...they will tear through your precious city, digging up all your secrets...
Ghoul Cult Priest doesn't take this bullshit so he smacks Brotherhood Paladin over the face
Ghoul Cult Priest: You will die tomorrow. Howling...
What are those heads in "crystals"? No fucking clue.
Well, the priest leaves for now and I head for my paladin bro. Of course first thing he did after leaving was to grab the mic again
Paradise? What's with the satanic rituals then? Hell is heaven? Heaven is hell? There's some deep shit going on here.
So, who's this paladin?
Alriiiight...
How does he know who I am? Haven't said anything, I'm not even wearing anything similar.
Nadia: I've done all right. Which one of use is strung up like a slaughtered cow?
Tough cookie this Nadia.
Rhombus: Well, you've got sand, initiate. Good for you... but this bickering is pointless. The situation is far too grave. You must help me get free!
Nadia: All right. What do I have to do?
That's all I can talk with him for now. I thought there's gonna be more ghoul shooting until I get to the priest, but nope. As the conversation with Rhombus was over, he popped up.
Blake? Who the fuck is Blake?
Ah, he's Blake
Nope, sorry to tell you, the only thing you are is a figment of the imagination of a disturbed Mexican.
None may enter; nothing can leave.
None may enter; nothing can leave...
None may enter; nothing can leave........
This sounds familiar somehow, doesn't it?
Hmm...
http://fallout.wikia.com/wiki/Vault_101
Because in Vault 101: no one ever enters, and no one... ever leaves...
Nadia: You rehearsed that, didn't you? Try it again... this time with feeling.
Oh, fuck, shit's getting serious now. I can tell because the shitty metal is back.
And it does. He attacks and starts going at me with his sword. It's so fucking huge he hits me from half a room away.
But he doesn't last that long. The heavy machine gun did a good job on him.
Ok then, let's see about this Rhombus fella.
Escorting him means going back through several of the areas I was in already. Of course, they're full of enemies again, and now there's ghouls that run straight at you and blow themselves up. In other words, terrorists. I expected them to yell "allahu akbar", but Chuck is above such lowly humor.
Nothing much now except a lot of shooting until we get to where Rhombus hid the key
But fuck, a terrorist ghoul runs for him and...
Nadia: I assume you're talking about the mutants. What do I have to do?
Rhombus: You must take the keycard... find the secret vault. Get there before the mutants do... One of the ghouls on the bridge must have some information...
Rhombus: Hurry, initiate... the Brotherhood is counting on you... This world may be wounded, but that makes it all the more precious...
~ Chuck Cuevas: Fucking Quality Poet.
And the bridge again? One of the two ghouls there is now dead and I bet Harold will be useless.
Well... I first go by the live merchant, he has some combat armor, I have some money so you see where this is going.
Rockin'!
Then I make my way to Harold
Fuuuuuuuuuuuu.... you suck, Harold.
Yeah, yeah, whatever.
There was some door that was locked before so I figure that must be where I must go. That apart from the blinking dot on the minimap, of course.
Vault-Tec storage. Could there be they stored a Vault inside? Let's see.
The place is full of mutants. They even warn you, but I didn't listen:
Of course, one of the first things you find is a combat armor. Which I just bought if you rember. Fuuuuuuuuu...
Some asshole mutant was breaking apart a generator before I got to him
Fuck, I don't even know why I needed the generator, but it's a well known fact that if there's a generator you have to start it.
Luckily there's another one a couple of levels down so I start it.
Something happens I guess, there's a bit more light, and in a nearby room...
I have a bad feeling too, I guess I'll have to fight those turrets.
And indeed, after the turrets kill the mutants
Well, they weren't much of a problem either. Stand in such a way that they're in a line in front of you and you only get shot by one of them at a time.
The combat armor was also helpful.
And it looks like the turrets were the "boss" for this chapter. In the next room I find the entrance to the vault and two screens, one of which is showing either a shithead or a reptilian overlord.
But we'll see what it's in the Vault next time. I'm telling you, it looks fucking promising.
And now, the bonus section:
At some point, while changing armors, for the first time I took off what I had on instead of just equipping the new one directly and what the...
OH BOY
I couldn't stop at that of course
OH BOY OH BOY
But it does stop at THAT.
Of course, first thing I did after was to check my love, Patty. So I started a new game with her, but fuck, she doesn't start with any armor. I think Nadia started with some crappy clothes, I just didn't think to take them off? I'm not sure, but Patty has the Vault suit tattooed on her. Maybe after you put armor on her then she gets nekkid too? Who will ever know.
And because I started a new game, I saw this
So now I can play as Rhombus too. What happens if I do and get to the part where I have to save Rhombus? Or will it be a completely different story, where you are captured, tortured with bullshit philosophy and just wait for someone to save you? Who will ever know.
Finally, to close this off, a review from a soon to be Codexer:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tReJQP2cs-Q
He loves the "other" Fallout game.
OH BOY
I couldn't stop at that of course
OH BOY OH BOY
But it does stop at THAT.
Of course, first thing I did after was to check my love, Patty. So I started a new game with her, but fuck, she doesn't start with any armor. I think Nadia started with some crappy clothes, I just didn't think to take them off? I'm not sure, but Patty has the Vault suit tattooed on her. Maybe after you put armor on her then she gets nekkid too? Who will ever know.
And because I started a new game, I saw this
So now I can play as Rhombus too. What happens if I do and get to the part where I have to save Rhombus? Or will it be a completely different story, where you are captured, tortured with bullshit philosophy and just wait for someone to save you? Who will ever know.
Finally, to close this off, a review from a soon to be Codexer:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tReJQP2cs-Q
He loves the "other" Fallout game.
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