Silellak
Cipher
Let me help bump that for you.
EDIT: Huzzah!
EDIT: Huzzah!
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Let's play Earthbound!! (Completed)
- Thread starter lightbane
- Start date
lightbane
Arcane
- Joined
- Dec 27, 2008
- Messages
- 10,200
Update 9: Welcome to (Scar)Arab(i)a!! And don’t forget, the most casual dungeon ever existed!!
Well, the poll’s results say that you don’t care as long as it’s wacky, so for now I’ll ignore Dalaam, I’ll leave it as the penultimate sanctuary to go, we’ll go first to Scaraba. Before, the party spent more time in the sewers to gain one or two levels, and just when we’re out of the museum…
(Stalking meter: 18)
The “pedo-grapher” reappears! But the party is too exhausted to pay attention and quickly rush to the nearest hotel to recover. Unable to sleep, and trying to get something more trustworthy that the psykers’ sorceries, Jeff worked through the night, wondering how he could get more Dakka… And Dakka was had:
That’s it: the strongest Jeff’s non-broken weapon, the motherfucking Heavy Bazooka!! It features unlimited ammo, perfect precision even when crying, affects all enemies at once, and deals lots of damage, in other words: EXTREME!!!
But now, to go to Scaraba we have to return to Toto and talk with that sailor we met before, however, in the way we meet…
(Stalking meter: 19)
In any case, the dialogue with the sailor goes like this:
”She quit talking about all that serious crap... Yeah! Let's work hard! If you're courageous, get on this boat. You'll probably see the Kraken and experience getting seasick! After all, it could only cost you your life, and you got that for free!Luck will determine the outcome of this voyage.So, do you want to sail the seas to Scaraba? Twenty bucks per person is fine with me. Ready! We're reckless, baby! Bon Voyage!”
And out we are! Video of the travel here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aY-I6_N3L9s
Despite its humiliating defeat, Kraken can one-hit-kill half of your party on the first turn with his fire-breath, however as you can see the characters are so powerful that you’ll surely assume by now most battles will be determined depending of who can strike first… Until the game proves you otherwise. Another thing that randomly happens in the game is the dialogue you can see at the end of the video, amusingly after several in-game hours Dad will call you and persuade you (the player) to give it a rest, regardless of you have or not the Receiver phone or even where you are. Oh, and some pics of Scaraba now that we’re here:
This is the last “normal” city of the game, and it’s blatantly inspired on Egypt, in a bizarre and inane way of course. The citizens’ comments are wacky as always:
”I recently made a friend.He used to be a Dungeon Maker. And now he’s ‘Dungeon Man’. Would you like to meet him? All right then, I’ll give you the key so you can enter him. Oh no! I don’t have it! I must have lost it somewhere. I’m sorry, I don’t worry about small things.”
” A chubby kid did his business out here somewhere...”
(Yeah, these black dots are actually crap, that’s even more mature than DA)
As expected the city has a market/bazaar with some weird stuff: http://rpgmusic.org/earthbound/bazaar
This guy sells some ailment-healing items, and “exotic” food like Kabobs, Bean Croquettes, Molokheiya Soup, and Boiled Eggs. But I’m showing this for his priceless line if you try to leave without buying something.
”Kissss of Fire! Armpit hair fertilizer! Yesssssss! What issss it you want to buy?”
In a nutshell, you can buy Snakes and Vipers here, these are attack items that can poison the enemy (even the robots somehow), and a Bag of Snakes that can be used many times, they’re fairly useless though, you’re interested on vaporizing the enemies as soon as you can, not poisoning them; you can buy here too an optional item called Piggy Nose that can be used later to hunt some rare items. Of course, Pedo-grapher continues to stalk you:
(Stalking meter: 20)
”They went to the back of the Deep Darkness as they were too innocent. I wonder if they are still alive.”
More plot foreshadowing.
”Our rooms range in price from for $60 on the to $400 a night. Right now, though, we only have our super deluxe suite available. Would you like to stay? We are very sorry that we do not have any of our less expensive rooms available at this time. Please let us know if you find any scorpions... It's very unlikely that they will come out, but you never can tell...”
Don’t mind that the ‘super deluxe suite’ consists of just two wrecked beds that are btw the only ones that the hotel has, fucking thief, political correctness indeed. In any case, now it’s time to check the Pyramid we were supposed to go, but first we must pass through another desert:
http://rpgmusic.org/earthbound/the-unforgiving-desert
As the Dusty Dunes one your characters can suffer of sunstroke, for the rest it’s just a copy paste with stronger enemies, although with some variations such as another less-than-honest merchant:
“The price of things is determined by the relationship between supply and demand. You kids are pretty sharp to be able to understand this theory so well! (he sells Bottles of Water and Bottles of Water DX that only Poo will use efficiently, but they’re overprized as hell, so no) Well, you'll die by dehydration! I'm warning you!”
Behind him, there’s the Pyramid we were searching for, and as we approach the Guardian Sphinx demands us a test:
” You must decide what you really are. Therefore, what will you do? (You just have to touch the plates in order, it’s a braindead easy musical puzzle, after the puzzle it’s done the Sphinx replies) Warriors, enter now. Search for the Hawk eye.”
And entered we did…
(Stalking meter: 21)
After being interrupted by the Stalker just because.
http://rpgmusic.org/earthbound/pyramid-2
For being a pyramid, it has the lamest maze ever existed, only long corridors without any kind of traps, just replacing gifts with caskets, and strange enemies like living Hieroglyphs that can and will attack you as soon as they can (they’re very weak but they can use Psy and cough on your characters to provoke a cold for some reason, don’t ask):
After a while, we find this:
Obviously, you must find the switch it forces the casket to move; the room with the device can be found not very far away from here, protected by another mini-boss:
The thing hits hard, but it doesn’t have any PSY or any type of psychic defense such as shields, so he’s iced to death by Black Cat and Poo while Codex rapes his mind and Jeff wrecks his body with the Bazooka, dying in little more than 2 turns. Immediately after entering the next room you’re attacked by 2 more enemies:
They still don’t have any special power so they’re no match for us, thus being mercilessly obliterated in our path of righteousness.
”(It sounds like something up above is moving.)”
Now the casket has moved:
And we got the prize: the Hawk Eye! A shame that nothing happens after grabbing it, no last-minute traps or anything, there’s only a shortcut to the outside.
After 2 steps, the Strange Old Man TM from Dalaam teleports in:
”We finally meet, Prince Poo. The stars foretold that I would meet you here... So, now it's the time to show you the way of the Starstorm... For a while, you must live far away from your friends and live with me. Do you understand? [Biowhare]: There's only one answer. I must stop you here even if you don't want to. Stay with me for a while, do you understand?! (why the hell there are so many implied pedos in Earthbound?)”
”It will be most helpful to us. Once I learn it, I'll meet up with you, Codex. Trust me... I will see you again.”
Suspicious Old Man: “It depends on Poo's efforts. That will determine the reuniting of the group. Be faithful, and wait until the time comes!”
And both teleport out, knowing Poo his training will surely involve head-butting falling incandescent boulders, while he’s on fire and a swarm of rats is eating his feet. To continue we ask nearby native for information:
”There is a strange looking tower to the northwest.This key I picked up a little while ago shall maybe open the tower. You may have it, I do not need it.”
And we got a special key. Not far away of the native there’s (unsurprisingly) a weapons dealer:
It sells a Bazooka but we have a better one, the gem here is the ultimate Multibottle rocket, the most broken weapon in-game, you’ll see later one in action if you have any doubts.
And here’s Dungeon Man, prepare yourself for the most bizarre, wacky, annoying, and dumbed down dungeon you will ever know: http://rpgmusic.org/earthbound/inside-the-dungeon
The dungeon is filled with billboards like these, but that’s not the strangest thing here.
Fuck you, I’ll turn left then just to piss you off:
Yes, the dungeon has a complete hospital service with telephone and even a free healing rest. At the entrance, not much far away of it. As far as I can remember dungeons are supposed to be unfriendly and to kill the unsuspecting adventurers in cruel and amusing ways as many times as possible; what’s more, the enemies here are weak variations you didn’t met anymore since Winters, unable to harm you for more than 1 hp. Better to continue walking:
The joke is that I only encountered one enemy so far, as it’s obvious the dungeon is practically hand-holding you removing any kind of difficulty on purpose, the cruel joke is that the 4th DnD edition and some supposed “next-gen rpgs” could be told they're played as something like this, but that’s another matter.
”Just who am I? What is life all about?... Oh, I'm sorry. Did I make you nervous? I'm not dangerous. Don't worry.”
Uhh, nevermind.
Let me rectify: the dungeon is PLAGUED with these useless, pointless, stupid billboards.
And you misunderstood it completely, retard.
Be glad you’re not playing this, the dungeon is so bad it makes Oblivion look decent (so bad it’s hilarious), at least we can be sure the Stalker will never set his foot here.
And for more randomness Dungeon Man has a zoo made of enemies you have encountered until now, but you cannot fight them neither they can reach you.
At last!! After the most random 12 minutes I have spent (if at least the music wasn’t so annoying), I found the architect of this madness (and for more hilarity Dungeon Man heals you at the moment you speak to him, despite not having fought a single enemy since the 1st floor):
”Long time, no see. Mr. Jeff, we met in Winters a long time ago. I'm Brick Road.Dr. Andonuts finally made me Dungeon Man.If you want, I'll come with you guys for a while.The "Return Hole" is over there. Jump in that hole and then walk out.”
http://rpgmusic.org/earthbound/megaton-walk
Sacrificing part of your sanity and patience was worth of it, we now have a gigantic companion that will easily crush ANY enemy, being able to punch the shit out of them for more than 800 points of damage.
(Stalking meter: 22)
Unfortunately, Dungeon Man doesn’t seem able to register this dangerous fellow as a threat, what’s worse, after moving to the South, shit happens:
” I cannot move. Well, if I cannot move, it is okay. Codex, it makes me sad, but I must say goodbye here, at my eternal resting place.”
That’s SO retarded it reaches a new level of stupidity. Nevertheless, we need to continue on:
” A scary place called Deep Darkness is on the other side of the river. The monsters are very strong and you can lose your health just by wandering in the swamp.Do you want to cross the river, even though you know it's a stupid idea? The swamp is bottomless. Even if you're swimming, you'll be dragged in. It is a different story if you have a submarine.”
Now where to find this thing… let’s ask the Retardo-man:
” Please enter..”
I’ll spare you of the backtracking and get to the point:
” It can be used to cross the river. There's a "Goodbye Exit" ...over there.It will take you to the submarine. Don't make a mistake on which exit you take.You need to take the "Goodbye Exit!" Hope to see you again!”
So we use the special exit… Just to find ourselves in a previously unreachable part of the dungeon with more retarded billboards:
If you don’t get THE reference here I’ll BEAT you to death with a stick, LESS your retardation infects the genepool, and I have already given you a hint. Nevertheless, Jeff comes closer and inspects the submarine, using his McGyver sense to see how to fix it:
The submarine travels automatically to the next destination; it recycles the same song of the Sky Walker so I will not repost it.
And here’s Deep Darkness:
http://rpgmusic.org/earthbound/the-deep-darkness
The strange bird somehow replicates a telephone, and the monkey at the south side will work as a free hotel. The peculiarity of this open dungeon is that you will only be able to ford slowly across the swamp and deep zones (as the black-colored one at the right) will quickly drain the characters’ hp, speed is key here, but if you bought the Piggy Noise at Scaraba you can use it to find Magic Truffles, these rare food pieces that give you 80 PPs, and here is the only place you can find these. Before continuing, there’s some people worth to talk:
A doctor, that’s hiding behind a tree for some reason.
”Oh, you learned how to teleport from the monkeys? ...I wanna try! Will you tell me how to do it?!”
After failing spectacularly the monkey is be able to teleport at the 2nd try, in compensation he gives us the Monkey’s Love, a reusable attack item that can be used by anyone in the party and may paralyze one foe, turning obsolete Jeff’s Slime generator. About the guy at the center:
”I came from one of the world's largest economic powers to this small rural village. A businessman that is truly tough has to travel this far for the best opportunities. ...and I'm a tough businessman, yessir! I am also a representative of the doctor over there. A: Do you want to buy? B: Do you want to heal?”
He doesn’t have anything interesting to sell so we ask for the doctor.
Businessman: “If you must talk to the doctor, please, PLEASE talk to me first. Do you have business with the doctor? Okay. If you attempt to talk with the doctor without first going through me, it violates the law. Please be careful. It's a special treatment. You'll be in perfect health with just one treament. The fee for one treatment is $500. Do you agree to the fee? I can pick up the fee for you now, if you want. What would you like to do?(Acting totally against the common sense Codex accepts to let him pay for the lulz )Doc, please treat the next patient! ...Treat him right, ok!?”
The doctor’s revolutionary technique is:
Somehow, that works, healing you of any ailment, if I recall correctly including ones that other doctors cannot normally heal. After this, the party tries to navigate across the swamp, but the darkness will prevent you of doing so until you use the Hawk Eye to enlighten the screen. The swamp’s denizens are Electric eels, Hostile Elder Oaks (reskinned exploding trees), Daemonically possessed flora:
Either Garfunkel or Deep Ones’ inbreed cousins,
(Stalking meter: 23)
Our favorite stalker,
”...I noticed that there's no engine. Mmmm.”
And ominous foreshadowing. Lastly, but not least:
The return of Belch! Because now you don’t have the Honey pot you used in the previous encounter to defeat him, the battle will go on until it loses certain number of HP, activating a scripted event where the battle ends. Despite now he has deadly attacks that can affect the entire party, in the previous encounter we used him as a guinea pig to use the true power of the Big Bottle Rockets, so to maintain the tradition we’ll do the same here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O8cROrW5 ... re=channel
And Belch’s demise comes not with a whimper but with a FUCKING METEORITE STORM, after a bazooka I guess that was the next step, reality-tearing powers. Starstorm comes with two variations, Alfa and Omega, the latter being the strongest psy-attack in the game after Psy Butthurt Omega; the Casey Bat is Codex’s strongest weapon in the game but at the same time it has a terrible accuracy, that’s because it’s a reference to Casey at the Bat, the baseball poem by Ernest Thayer about a revered batter, the "mighty" Casey, who strikes out.
That’s the entrance to the Tenda village we heard before; we’ll enter it and search for answers and loot… on the next update. I hope you still have enough interest for the lp until then. Stay sharp!
Well, the poll’s results say that you don’t care as long as it’s wacky, so for now I’ll ignore Dalaam, I’ll leave it as the penultimate sanctuary to go, we’ll go first to Scaraba. Before, the party spent more time in the sewers to gain one or two levels, and just when we’re out of the museum…
The “pedo-grapher” reappears! But the party is too exhausted to pay attention and quickly rush to the nearest hotel to recover. Unable to sleep, and trying to get something more trustworthy that the psykers’ sorceries, Jeff worked through the night, wondering how he could get more Dakka… And Dakka was had:
That’s it: the strongest Jeff’s non-broken weapon, the motherfucking Heavy Bazooka!! It features unlimited ammo, perfect precision even when crying, affects all enemies at once, and deals lots of damage, in other words: EXTREME!!!
But now, to go to Scaraba we have to return to Toto and talk with that sailor we met before, however, in the way we meet…
In any case, the dialogue with the sailor goes like this:
And out we are! Video of the travel here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aY-I6_N3L9s
Despite its humiliating defeat, Kraken can one-hit-kill half of your party on the first turn with his fire-breath, however as you can see the characters are so powerful that you’ll surely assume by now most battles will be determined depending of who can strike first… Until the game proves you otherwise. Another thing that randomly happens in the game is the dialogue you can see at the end of the video, amusingly after several in-game hours Dad will call you and persuade you (the player) to give it a rest, regardless of you have or not the Receiver phone or even where you are. Oh, and some pics of Scaraba now that we’re here:
This is the last “normal” city of the game, and it’s blatantly inspired on Egypt, in a bizarre and inane way of course. The citizens’ comments are wacky as always:
As expected the city has a market/bazaar with some weird stuff: http://rpgmusic.org/earthbound/bazaar
This guy sells some ailment-healing items, and “exotic” food like Kabobs, Bean Croquettes, Molokheiya Soup, and Boiled Eggs. But I’m showing this for his priceless line if you try to leave without buying something.
In a nutshell, you can buy Snakes and Vipers here, these are attack items that can poison the enemy (even the robots somehow), and a Bag of Snakes that can be used many times, they’re fairly useless though, you’re interested on vaporizing the enemies as soon as you can, not poisoning them; you can buy here too an optional item called Piggy Nose that can be used later to hunt some rare items. Of course, Pedo-grapher continues to stalk you:
More plot foreshadowing.
Don’t mind that the ‘super deluxe suite’ consists of just two wrecked beds that are btw the only ones that the hotel has, fucking thief, political correctness indeed. In any case, now it’s time to check the Pyramid we were supposed to go, but first we must pass through another desert:
As the Dusty Dunes one your characters can suffer of sunstroke, for the rest it’s just a copy paste with stronger enemies, although with some variations such as another less-than-honest merchant:
Behind him, there’s the Pyramid we were searching for, and as we approach the Guardian Sphinx demands us a test:
And entered we did…
After being interrupted by the Stalker just because.
For being a pyramid, it has the lamest maze ever existed, only long corridors without any kind of traps, just replacing gifts with caskets, and strange enemies like living Hieroglyphs that can and will attack you as soon as they can (they’re very weak but they can use Psy and cough on your characters to provoke a cold for some reason, don’t ask):
After a while, we find this:
Obviously, you must find the switch it forces the casket to move; the room with the device can be found not very far away from here, protected by another mini-boss:
The thing hits hard, but it doesn’t have any PSY or any type of psychic defense such as shields, so he’s iced to death by Black Cat and Poo while Codex rapes his mind and Jeff wrecks his body with the Bazooka, dying in little more than 2 turns. Immediately after entering the next room you’re attacked by 2 more enemies:
They still don’t have any special power so they’re no match for us, thus being mercilessly obliterated in our path of righteousness.
Now the casket has moved:
And we got the prize: the Hawk Eye! A shame that nothing happens after grabbing it, no last-minute traps or anything, there’s only a shortcut to the outside.
After 2 steps, the Strange Old Man TM from Dalaam teleports in:
Suspicious Old Man: “It depends on Poo's efforts. That will determine the reuniting of the group. Be faithful, and wait until the time comes!”
And both teleport out, knowing Poo his training will surely involve head-butting falling incandescent boulders, while he’s on fire and a swarm of rats is eating his feet. To continue we ask nearby native for information:
And we got a special key. Not far away of the native there’s (unsurprisingly) a weapons dealer:
It sells a Bazooka but we have a better one, the gem here is the ultimate Multibottle rocket, the most broken weapon in-game, you’ll see later one in action if you have any doubts.
And here’s Dungeon Man, prepare yourself for the most bizarre, wacky, annoying, and dumbed down dungeon you will ever know: http://rpgmusic.org/earthbound/inside-the-dungeon
Fuck you, I’ll turn left then just to piss you off:
Yes, the dungeon has a complete hospital service with telephone and even a free healing rest. At the entrance, not much far away of it. As far as I can remember dungeons are supposed to be unfriendly and to kill the unsuspecting adventurers in cruel and amusing ways as many times as possible; what’s more, the enemies here are weak variations you didn’t met anymore since Winters, unable to harm you for more than 1 hp. Better to continue walking:
The joke is that I only encountered one enemy so far, as it’s obvious the dungeon is practically hand-holding you removing any kind of difficulty on purpose, the cruel joke is that the 4th DnD edition and some supposed “next-gen rpgs” could be told they're played as something like this, but that’s another matter.
Uhh, nevermind.
Let me rectify: the dungeon is PLAGUED with these useless, pointless, stupid billboards.
And you misunderstood it completely, retard.
Be glad you’re not playing this, the dungeon is so bad it makes Oblivion look decent (so bad it’s hilarious), at least we can be sure the Stalker will never set his foot here.
And for more randomness Dungeon Man has a zoo made of enemies you have encountered until now, but you cannot fight them neither they can reach you.
At last!! After the most random 12 minutes I have spent (if at least the music wasn’t so annoying), I found the architect of this madness (and for more hilarity Dungeon Man heals you at the moment you speak to him, despite not having fought a single enemy since the 1st floor):
Sacrificing part of your sanity and patience was worth of it, we now have a gigantic companion that will easily crush ANY enemy, being able to punch the shit out of them for more than 800 points of damage.
Unfortunately, Dungeon Man doesn’t seem able to register this dangerous fellow as a threat, what’s worse, after moving to the South, shit happens:
That’s SO retarded it reaches a new level of stupidity. Nevertheless, we need to continue on:
Now where to find this thing… let’s ask the Retardo-man:
I’ll spare you of the backtracking and get to the point:
So we use the special exit… Just to find ourselves in a previously unreachable part of the dungeon with more retarded billboards:
If you don’t get THE reference here I’ll BEAT you to death with a stick, LESS your retardation infects the genepool, and I have already given you a hint. Nevertheless, Jeff comes closer and inspects the submarine, using his McGyver sense to see how to fix it:
The submarine travels automatically to the next destination; it recycles the same song of the Sky Walker so I will not repost it.
And here’s Deep Darkness:
The strange bird somehow replicates a telephone, and the monkey at the south side will work as a free hotel. The peculiarity of this open dungeon is that you will only be able to ford slowly across the swamp and deep zones (as the black-colored one at the right) will quickly drain the characters’ hp, speed is key here, but if you bought the Piggy Noise at Scaraba you can use it to find Magic Truffles, these rare food pieces that give you 80 PPs, and here is the only place you can find these. Before continuing, there’s some people worth to talk:
A doctor, that’s hiding behind a tree for some reason.
After failing spectacularly the monkey is be able to teleport at the 2nd try, in compensation he gives us the Monkey’s Love, a reusable attack item that can be used by anyone in the party and may paralyze one foe, turning obsolete Jeff’s Slime generator. About the guy at the center:
He doesn’t have anything interesting to sell so we ask for the doctor.
Businessman: “If you must talk to the doctor, please, PLEASE talk to me first. Do you have business with the doctor? Okay. If you attempt to talk with the doctor without first going through me, it violates the law. Please be careful. It's a special treatment. You'll be in perfect health with just one treament. The fee for one treatment is $500. Do you agree to the fee? I can pick up the fee for you now, if you want. What would you like to do?(Acting totally against the common sense Codex accepts to let him pay for the lulz )Doc, please treat the next patient! ...Treat him right, ok!?”
The doctor’s revolutionary technique is:
Somehow, that works, healing you of any ailment, if I recall correctly including ones that other doctors cannot normally heal. After this, the party tries to navigate across the swamp, but the darkness will prevent you of doing so until you use the Hawk Eye to enlighten the screen. The swamp’s denizens are Electric eels, Hostile Elder Oaks (reskinned exploding trees), Daemonically possessed flora:
Our favorite stalker,
And ominous foreshadowing. Lastly, but not least:
The return of Belch! Because now you don’t have the Honey pot you used in the previous encounter to defeat him, the battle will go on until it loses certain number of HP, activating a scripted event where the battle ends. Despite now he has deadly attacks that can affect the entire party, in the previous encounter we used him as a guinea pig to use the true power of the Big Bottle Rockets, so to maintain the tradition we’ll do the same here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O8cROrW5 ... re=channel
And Belch’s demise comes not with a whimper but with a FUCKING METEORITE STORM, after a bazooka I guess that was the next step, reality-tearing powers. Starstorm comes with two variations, Alfa and Omega, the latter being the strongest psy-attack in the game after Psy Butthurt Omega; the Casey Bat is Codex’s strongest weapon in the game but at the same time it has a terrible accuracy, that’s because it’s a reference to Casey at the Bat, the baseball poem by Ernest Thayer about a revered batter, the "mighty" Casey, who strikes out.
That’s the entrance to the Tenda village we heard before; we’ll enter it and search for answers and loot… on the next update. I hope you still have enough interest for the lp until then. Stay sharp!
Silellak
Cipher
I still have interest! I played this once as a kid but never finished - can't even remember where or why I stopped, at this point - so I'm looking forward to seeing what I missed.
lightbane
Arcane
- Joined
- Dec 27, 2008
- Messages
- 10,200
Update 10: War of the worlds
Let’s meet for 1st time these so-called Tenda:
http://rpgmusic.org/earthbound/the-tendas-cave
Great, more xenos scum, but these are somehow weirder than the Mr. Saturns:
They’re terminally shy, all of the Tendas that I do not engage into conversation either repeat this sentence or just say the typical Japanese emo-reply (an ellipsis); they seem to be scavengers:
The trashcan has the Death Ray, a new weapon for Jeff (as if he needed one, now that he has the Heavy Bazooka), and the telephone works perfectly, oddly enough.
The hotel is a simple hole that works as an inn but at least it’s free, and at its left there’s a small hot springs pool, for if you needed to cure any possible ailment suffered in the way.
This one is the Tendas’ chieftain (it’s hard to see but he has a staff and horns to emphasize his status):
”Where? Don't know. Just a rumor.”
Excellent, a future fetchquest *sarcasm*. There’s an item shop at the upper left corner but the vendor will not speak with you due the shyness shit, so we interview the Tenda that’s at the other side:
”It's me, bubby! You know what? There's something scary that comes from the underground. So, we covered up the hole. There are lots of dinosaurs there. I went there once, but I came right back,'cause I was so surprised! There was a talking stone that talks a lot. Do you wanna go and see? I understand. But I'm not as strong as I look. I'm sorry, I guess I can't help you. The guy next to me is strong, but he lacks conversation skills. He needs to overcome his shyness first.”
As the TT (talkative Tenda) said, until we resolve the shyness’s “curse” we cannot advance, the question of why I just cannot blow up the rock with either the bazooka or the meteorite storm power will remain unanswered. As the party (tries to) exit the village…
”We're having beautiful weather here... 'I'm now at Dr. Andonuts lab in Winters. The doctor doesn't seem to be around right now, but I'm just working on my Eraser Eraser Machine...!!!!!!Hey! Oh no! What are you doing to me? Who are you ?!!!... *click*”
As expected, shit happens, but there’s more, someone immediately called Codex after the line went dead:
”We're finally coming near to the end of our research on... how to change a boiled egg back into a raw egg. By the way, Apple Kid is missing. He left here saying that he was going to see Dr. Andonuts in Winters, and he never came back. I was hoping to borrow the book "Overcoming Shyness" from him, but suddenly, he disappeared... I haven't read the book, so I'm not very good at talking... sorry. I'm also working hard on my invention, so I hope you'll understand. Say hello to your friends for me! *click*”
Now that our goal is clear, I don’t waste time and I teleport to Winters immediately, meeting a concerned Maxwell:
”Oh, I don't have time to chat right now. Tony's missing. I thought he was with you... He suddenly disappeared. He's usually very responsible and leaves a note at least...”
”It looks like your boyfriend is missing. Do you have anything to s…?”
”… *pulls out his bazooka*"
”Uuuh… Forget it. Let’s go!”
And we move, noticing that enemies have been upgrades to evil robots and aliens. [Intelligence]: I suspect they’re related with the disappearances.
” It emerged from the lake and flew toward Stonehenge...It kidnapped one of my friends along the way.”
Wisdom: That confirms our suspicions, so the party moves even faster to Dr. Andonuts’ lab. Unfortunately, we’re too late:
”My master, Apple Kid completed this "Eraser Eraser Machine." While he was calling you, he was kidnapped. He felt like this...!!!!! I was there, but was helpless. Sorry about that. Anyway, take this machine.(Codex got the Eraser eraser.)”
Now we can pass trough that mysterious corridor that was under Stonehenge, discovering the entrance to a secret alien base.
Obviously, it’s another dungeon, but this one shines for itself for one reason: It’s ridiculously dizzying, tortuous and funky, check it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ebjOKVFoYus
As you may have noticed, I attack the random enemies with extreme prejudice, that’s because from this point onward the game is no longer kind with you and thus all enemies can kill you if you underestimate them; for example, Starmen and Mooks aren’t dangerous on their own but both can use psychic powers, and the Mook can diamonize you, so they should be your first priority in battle. Another recurrent enemy is this one:
The Atomic Power Robot, one of the most deadly robotic type enemies, because they’re tougher than average, deal moderate damage, can restore itself or another enemies to full health, and worse, they self-destruct for massive damage. To compensate, when these guys appear it’s the best time to use Poo’s Mirror skill, because if it works Poo will be able to heal himself and/or other party members for free.
Also, the strange architecture of the place may had been done on purpose to provoke sensations of fear and paranoia to the intruders, because after a while I checked the party’s status, just to see that Codex is homesick, at the worst time and place, ever:
Some minutes later, the 1st part of the dungeon is completed.
The 2nd area of the base is more “traditional” than the maze, but a new type of enemy roams around:
The Starman Super, MUCH stronger than the Starman, can use Healing Gamma (aka revive a fallen comrade), and they start with a psychic shield that reflect all psychic attacks, and they may drop Poo’s strongest (and only) weapon (that can only be obtained here): the Sword of Kings; unfortunately, you only have 1/128 chance to get the sword, screw it, I don’t want to grind for hours.
Speaking of shields, let me do a small explanation about the shield’s types that exist in Earthbound:
We have the powers Shield Alfa and Sigma, that halve the damage of a normal physical attack (or completely nullify it) for either a single character or all the party, and the Beta and Omega variations that are Power Shields (with these the attack will be nullified and reflected) for a single or all the characters as well. Then we have the powers Psy Shield Alfa, Sigma, Beta and Omega that work in the same way but with psychic attacks only, and you can only have one type of shield activated and once (and these eventually disappear after some turns, but you can recast them to reinforce their effects). Considering that the most powerful attacks are of psychic nature, you’ll rarely touch the normal Shield power. Moving on…
The next area is even worse because it is pitch black, the lights flickering on and off constantly. Fortunately there are only a handful of enemies, so it’s soon over, entering a new room:
Perception: So the kidnapped ones are here... And Mr T too!! What’s up with the hippy btw? If you try to engage conversation, each one says something different:
”*Bloop* *Glub* Jeff!...*Bloop*... Where... is... Jeff... *Bloop*”
”*Bloop* *Bloop* *Bloop* Oh, no!”
We should hurry then and meet the base’s commander before they drown too much.
Logically, the commander is an upgraded Starman.
”We were not *beep* prepared for that eventuality...The prophecy from the *click* Apple of Enlightenment may be true...but you must not *whirr* underestimate us. And before you try, I *whirr* am immune to one-liners, resistance is futile, you will *click* be assimilated”
This boss is powerful enough to cast Starmstorm Alfa, can call reinforcements (more Starmen Super), and starts with a Psy Shield Beta, so the 1st turn is spent with Codex attacking, Black Cat defending, Jeff using Neutralizer to deactivate the boss’ shield (a strategy that you should do from this point onward for every boss, just in case), and Poo attacking. The boss wastes his turn attacking Codex with a beam for 190 points of damage. Next turn Codex uses his most powerful psychic attack, Black Cat casts Psy shield Omega, Jeff uses the Bazooka, and Poo uses Starstorm; the boss replies summoning a Starman Super. The following turn is the same but with Black Cat attacking as well, eventually defeating the Starman Deluxe after several turns .
With its death, the obvious happens:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-j7oiz0DLBM
That must mean that the kidnapped people will be now free, let’s check it:
” just sat here and waited long enough... That's what I thought, but I began to lose hope... I'm so glad you saved me after all.”
A good item for Black Cat, but that’s not all:
”I just thought it was a good opportunity to meet Mr. Saturn. I also got to meet Dr. Andonuts... See you. What? You're looking for the book "Overcoming Shyness"? I returned it to the Onett library. Please use the book to help the shy Tenda tribe...Anyway, because I knew you, I had an incredible experience... wow!I was kidnapped by some of Giygas' toadies.”
So all of the effort was for nothing? Meh. Still, they say what doesn’t kill you…
”I want to start on the Phase Distorter as soon as possible...Oh, I almost forgot to thank you. Thank you. Don't worry about us. You've got important things to do...”
Observe how he doesn’t even seem to notice Jeff.
”You... came to rescue me! Pal! ...Oh, Codex? I’m Tony. I'm Jeff's best friend. I've known him for the longest time.”
”(Not)nice to meet you. And yeah, I know it already, Jeff’s ”best friend” *snickers*”
Now for something random and hilarious, there’s an alternate dialogue if Jeff is unconscious when you talk to Tony:
”Bring back Jeff! Bring back my friendship with Jeff!! Jeff Jeff!”
Lastly but not least, Mr T’s latest clone has something to say as well:
” I didn't think they'd git a ransom by kidnappin' little ol' me.”
Nevermind. Time to warp to Onnet, we got the book, and returned to the Tenda village (none of the dialogue in Onnet was worth to transcribe, so I skipped it):
”Thanks. Relax. I'll read to everyone. Oh! Just holding this book in my hands makes me feel like I'm overcoming my shyness already! I'll really take the time to read it to everyone! (The leader of the Tenda tribe read "Overcoming Shyness" to everyone.) Chat, Chat whisper, whisper. I'd like to give you some "Tendakraut" in return. "Tendakraut" is a type of dish that all Tenda like. It stinks, but it tastes wonderful. ”
Suddenly, as soon as the chieftain pauses, the Stalker teleports in:
(Stalking meter: 24)
I’m not going to ask. But that’s not the most random thing, after this, the chief asks you something (the player):
”Lightbane… Lightbane, are you sure this is the correct player's name? If it's not right, you can change it... (You can reintroduce your own name, the same thing as it happened previously with Tony basically). Lightbane, Are you sure it's what you want?'Are you happy with the name? Are you absolutely certain? Yeah, I thought that you had made up your mind. ”
This is the last time you will be asked for the name, the reason for it? Eventually you may receive the answer… Or maybe not, the point is that now we can freerly talk with the other Tendas:
First, the chieftain gives us a free item, yay!
”Long journey, must have been.”
One is a Yoda’s fanboy,
Another one barely changed,
I’m not interested on xenos’ biology, next:
”Big. Scary. "Lost Underworld." Stone. There is. Talks lots.”
Another one is semi-helpful, let’s see what’s the deal with the supposedly strong Tenda:
And he launches the rock to the stratosphere, despite being in a cave and all. Before continuing, there are more things of interest:
A sucker,
The shopkeeper, with an exclusive “economy” based on barter, the items he offers are worth to have, and you will surely have fucktons of money by now. The last Tenda we haven’t pestered yet is:
I smell something suspicious here.
”Come on, it’s just a bit of tea offered by a native of a strange xenos race that was hiding at the end of a monster-infested swamp whose biology may be completely incompatible with the human one, what’s the worse that can happ…? *collapses*”
Some never learn, and yes, Codex got high. For 3rd time: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9LZHi6nGKo
I think that explains everything: The supposed shyness of the Tenda was caused by an overdose of the drugs their tea have, obviously related with the Mr. Saturn, alien drugdealers that wanted to enslave the Tenda to their submission, however with a last surge of willpower the chieftain and the tribe went to hide there, hoping that the Mr. Saturn couldn’t find them, and with the pass of the generations they gained immunity to the drugs but they forgot the reason why they moved, as the complexities of English’s grammar, that or I’m just overanalyzing it. In either case, time to continue the journey:
The first thing we find it’s just a big rock, on a closer inspection:
”But the rocks around here don't talk too much. The rock that talks the most is deep down in the labyrinth a ways ahead... in the "Lost Underworld." Don't forget to talk to the rock! It's important!”
Hmm, ok, the game continues to be wacky as ever. At the rock’s left side:
We enter into another Sanctuary’s dungeon, some of its highlights are that it has the 1st piece of Poo’s custom gear, the Diadem of Kings, and that unlike the alien base the monsters here are mixed: some aren’t very dangerous, like the electrical ghosts,
others like the spheres are dangerous because can use psi fire Beta, have an in-built PSI shield Alfa and self-destructs upon death,
and the Fobbies that are a joke but attack with hordes, so many that the game seems to slows down. Other wacky stuff are “fake” stones, these can talk but are not the ones you’re searching for:
Finally, before we meet the Guardian let me show the description of a food item I found:
”It is created by a skillful artisan who has been making jerky for over 60 years. Jerky fans consider this the caviar of all jerkys. I understand that they don't dry gourmet jerky on a laundry line... When eaten, you recover about 300 HP.”
I wonder if this rare item came from Summers. And now, time to defeat the Guardian (remember that I skipped for now the 6th sanctuary on Dalaam, and if these battles look easy it’s because they are, at the moment you start encountering Super Starmen you receive so much experience you level up every 3 battles or so, and bosses can be killed very quickly with the correct strategy regardless of your level):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zgTocxaaBY
Especially surprising is the sanctuary’s cutscene, being a classical jrpg of the 90s with a main character that actually talks (sort of)!
“Wait, there’s more written on the wall: Man, she’s hot as the sun itself, when this it’s over I must remind me to date Bl… OH FUCK!! They’re still on display!!??"
”This is starting to get too creepy, let’s go. NOW!” ”
And Codex rushes the party before his more intimate thoughts are accidentally revealed , so they walk to the left until they step on a large hole, experiencing a free fall of like 10 seconds of duration without parachute, eventually and somehow entering unharmed:
The Lost Underworld! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MhdBmRLDn3o
Unfortunately, I will not make a single step here, before continuing I would like to backtrack to Dalaam and finish the dungeon there so I’m more prepared for the last dungeon, leaving the rest for the next update, so the party warps back to Dalaam:
Just as our heroes were to step out of the “landing point”:
(Stalking meter: 25)
That’s not all, as I was entering the palace to chit-chat with Poo’s Generic Master Tm,
(Stalking meter: 26)
The Stalker reappears, after having met him like 30 seconds ago. Disturbing. Anyways, the master has indeed something to tell:
”Don't be careless...”
He could do or tell something more useful, you know, instead of lazily resting here, at least he heals you for free.
”Recently, several bad incidents occurred in this peaceful country...”
Outside:
”.....Nothing? Mmmmm Mmmmm”
More next-gen DEEP comments.
And more citizens demonstrating their love for the prince; time to enter the dungeon, the party approaches the rabbits and use the Carrot Key:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1XfXBucsPw
Another regular dungeon, the catch here is that there’s another piece of gear for Poo, the Bracer of Kings, and the monsters are more “eastern-like”, including:
A spirit that somehow can be hurt with the bazooka and other normal attacks, isn’t nothing special besides the ability to poison you with its song (don’t ask),
so obvious that I suppose I don’t need to explain how they attack,
and a minor incarnation of insanity made flesh and bone.
It’s strange, I think that these creatures should be too “supernatural” to be controlled by Gygas, either the Archfiend can control spirits as well, or (more likely) the spirits were stupidly ordered to guard the Sanctuary, understanding that the best way to protect it was to kill everyone on sight, including their Prince. So much love has your country for you, eh Poo? Anyways, the link for the boss’ battle: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nn14nySnmNY
And that’s all for this update, next one will include the Lost underground, the last sanctuary, and the consequences of completing the song (a hint: PLOTTWIST)! Stay sharp, because we’re approaching the endgame.
Let’s meet for 1st time these so-called Tenda:
Great, more xenos scum, but these are somehow weirder than the Mr. Saturns:
They’re terminally shy, all of the Tendas that I do not engage into conversation either repeat this sentence or just say the typical Japanese emo-reply (an ellipsis); they seem to be scavengers:
The trashcan has the Death Ray, a new weapon for Jeff (as if he needed one, now that he has the Heavy Bazooka), and the telephone works perfectly, oddly enough.
The hotel is a simple hole that works as an inn but at least it’s free, and at its left there’s a small hot springs pool, for if you needed to cure any possible ailment suffered in the way.
This one is the Tendas’ chieftain (it’s hard to see but he has a staff and horns to emphasize his status):
Excellent, a future fetchquest *sarcasm*. There’s an item shop at the upper left corner but the vendor will not speak with you due the shyness shit, so we interview the Tenda that’s at the other side:
As the TT (talkative Tenda) said, until we resolve the shyness’s “curse” we cannot advance, the question of why I just cannot blow up the rock with either the bazooka or the meteorite storm power will remain unanswered. As the party (tries to) exit the village…
As expected, shit happens, but there’s more, someone immediately called Codex after the line went dead:
Now that our goal is clear, I don’t waste time and I teleport to Winters immediately, meeting a concerned Maxwell:
And we move, noticing that enemies have been upgrades to evil robots and aliens. [Intelligence]: I suspect they’re related with the disappearances.
Wisdom: That confirms our suspicions, so the party moves even faster to Dr. Andonuts’ lab. Unfortunately, we’re too late:
Now we can pass trough that mysterious corridor that was under Stonehenge, discovering the entrance to a secret alien base.
Obviously, it’s another dungeon, but this one shines for itself for one reason: It’s ridiculously dizzying, tortuous and funky, check it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ebjOKVFoYus
As you may have noticed, I attack the random enemies with extreme prejudice, that’s because from this point onward the game is no longer kind with you and thus all enemies can kill you if you underestimate them; for example, Starmen and Mooks aren’t dangerous on their own but both can use psychic powers, and the Mook can diamonize you, so they should be your first priority in battle. Another recurrent enemy is this one:
The Atomic Power Robot, one of the most deadly robotic type enemies, because they’re tougher than average, deal moderate damage, can restore itself or another enemies to full health, and worse, they self-destruct for massive damage. To compensate, when these guys appear it’s the best time to use Poo’s Mirror skill, because if it works Poo will be able to heal himself and/or other party members for free.
Also, the strange architecture of the place may had been done on purpose to provoke sensations of fear and paranoia to the intruders, because after a while I checked the party’s status, just to see that Codex is homesick, at the worst time and place, ever:
Some minutes later, the 1st part of the dungeon is completed.
The 2nd area of the base is more “traditional” than the maze, but a new type of enemy roams around:
The Starman Super, MUCH stronger than the Starman, can use Healing Gamma (aka revive a fallen comrade), and they start with a psychic shield that reflect all psychic attacks, and they may drop Poo’s strongest (and only) weapon (that can only be obtained here): the Sword of Kings; unfortunately, you only have 1/128 chance to get the sword, screw it, I don’t want to grind for hours.
Speaking of shields, let me do a small explanation about the shield’s types that exist in Earthbound:
We have the powers Shield Alfa and Sigma, that halve the damage of a normal physical attack (or completely nullify it) for either a single character or all the party, and the Beta and Omega variations that are Power Shields (with these the attack will be nullified and reflected) for a single or all the characters as well. Then we have the powers Psy Shield Alfa, Sigma, Beta and Omega that work in the same way but with psychic attacks only, and you can only have one type of shield activated and once (and these eventually disappear after some turns, but you can recast them to reinforce their effects). Considering that the most powerful attacks are of psychic nature, you’ll rarely touch the normal Shield power. Moving on…
The next area is even worse because it is pitch black, the lights flickering on and off constantly. Fortunately there are only a handful of enemies, so it’s soon over, entering a new room:
Perception: So the kidnapped ones are here... And Mr T too!! What’s up with the hippy btw? If you try to engage conversation, each one says something different:
We should hurry then and meet the base’s commander before they drown too much.
Logically, the commander is an upgraded Starman.
This boss is powerful enough to cast Starmstorm Alfa, can call reinforcements (more Starmen Super), and starts with a Psy Shield Beta, so the 1st turn is spent with Codex attacking, Black Cat defending, Jeff using Neutralizer to deactivate the boss’ shield (a strategy that you should do from this point onward for every boss, just in case), and Poo attacking. The boss wastes his turn attacking Codex with a beam for 190 points of damage. Next turn Codex uses his most powerful psychic attack, Black Cat casts Psy shield Omega, Jeff uses the Bazooka, and Poo uses Starstorm; the boss replies summoning a Starman Super. The following turn is the same but with Black Cat attacking as well, eventually defeating the Starman Deluxe after several turns .
With its death, the obvious happens:
That must mean that the kidnapped people will be now free, let’s check it:
A good item for Black Cat, but that’s not all:
So all of the effort was for nothing? Meh. Still, they say what doesn’t kill you…
Observe how he doesn’t even seem to notice Jeff.
Now for something random and hilarious, there’s an alternate dialogue if Jeff is unconscious when you talk to Tony:
Lastly but not least, Mr T’s latest clone has something to say as well:
Nevermind. Time to warp to Onnet, we got the book, and returned to the Tenda village (none of the dialogue in Onnet was worth to transcribe, so I skipped it):
Suddenly, as soon as the chieftain pauses, the Stalker teleports in:
I’m not going to ask. But that’s not the most random thing, after this, the chief asks you something (the player):
This is the last time you will be asked for the name, the reason for it? Eventually you may receive the answer… Or maybe not, the point is that now we can freerly talk with the other Tendas:
First, the chieftain gives us a free item, yay!
One is a Yoda’s fanboy,
Another one barely changed,
I’m not interested on xenos’ biology, next:
Another one is semi-helpful, let’s see what’s the deal with the supposedly strong Tenda:
And he launches the rock to the stratosphere, despite being in a cave and all. Before continuing, there are more things of interest:
A sucker,
The shopkeeper, with an exclusive “economy” based on barter, the items he offers are worth to have, and you will surely have fucktons of money by now. The last Tenda we haven’t pestered yet is:
I smell something suspicious here.
Some never learn, and yes, Codex got high. For 3rd time: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9LZHi6nGKo
I think that explains everything: The supposed shyness of the Tenda was caused by an overdose of the drugs their tea have, obviously related with the Mr. Saturn, alien drugdealers that wanted to enslave the Tenda to their submission, however with a last surge of willpower the chieftain and the tribe went to hide there, hoping that the Mr. Saturn couldn’t find them, and with the pass of the generations they gained immunity to the drugs but they forgot the reason why they moved, as the complexities of English’s grammar, that or I’m just overanalyzing it. In either case, time to continue the journey:
The first thing we find it’s just a big rock, on a closer inspection:
Hmm, ok, the game continues to be wacky as ever. At the rock’s left side:
We enter into another Sanctuary’s dungeon, some of its highlights are that it has the 1st piece of Poo’s custom gear, the Diadem of Kings, and that unlike the alien base the monsters here are mixed: some aren’t very dangerous, like the electrical ghosts,
Finally, before we meet the Guardian let me show the description of a food item I found:
I wonder if this rare item came from Summers. And now, time to defeat the Guardian (remember that I skipped for now the 6th sanctuary on Dalaam, and if these battles look easy it’s because they are, at the moment you start encountering Super Starmen you receive so much experience you level up every 3 battles or so, and bosses can be killed very quickly with the correct strategy regardless of your level):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zgTocxaaBY
Especially surprising is the sanctuary’s cutscene, being a classical jrpg of the 90s with a main character that actually talks (sort of)!
And Codex rushes the party before his more intimate thoughts are accidentally revealed , so they walk to the left until they step on a large hole, experiencing a free fall of like 10 seconds of duration without parachute, eventually and somehow entering unharmed:
Unfortunately, I will not make a single step here, before continuing I would like to backtrack to Dalaam and finish the dungeon there so I’m more prepared for the last dungeon, leaving the rest for the next update, so the party warps back to Dalaam:
Just as our heroes were to step out of the “landing point”:
That’s not all, as I was entering the palace to chit-chat with Poo’s Generic Master Tm,
The Stalker reappears, after having met him like 30 seconds ago. Disturbing. Anyways, the master has indeed something to tell:
He could do or tell something more useful, you know, instead of lazily resting here, at least he heals you for free.
Outside:
More next-gen DEEP comments.
And more citizens demonstrating their love for the prince; time to enter the dungeon, the party approaches the rabbits and use the Carrot Key:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1XfXBucsPw
Another regular dungeon, the catch here is that there’s another piece of gear for Poo, the Bracer of Kings, and the monsters are more “eastern-like”, including:
It’s strange, I think that these creatures should be too “supernatural” to be controlled by Gygas, either the Archfiend can control spirits as well, or (more likely) the spirits were stupidly ordered to guard the Sanctuary, understanding that the best way to protect it was to kill everyone on sight, including their Prince. So much love has your country for you, eh Poo? Anyways, the link for the boss’ battle: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nn14nySnmNY
And that’s all for this update, next one will include the Lost underground, the last sanctuary, and the consequences of completing the song (a hint: PLOTTWIST)! Stay sharp, because we’re approaching the endgame.
Silellak
Cipher
Huzzah! Keep it coming!
Now that I see the area again, I'm pretty sure the Stonehenge Base is where I quit playing as a kid.
Bump!
Now that I see the area again, I'm pretty sure the Stonehenge Base is where I quit playing as a kid.
Bump!
lightbane
Arcane
- Joined
- Dec 27, 2008
- Messages
- 10,200
Update 11: Earthbound: The Dreaming
We’re back at the Lost Underground, that’s so big your characters are tiny dots that move at the speed of snails (even the photographer if it was to appear, but ¿fortunately? his sprites in this area weren’t used in the game), and not only that, there are new, exclusive enemies like:
A fucking dinosaur (has lots of hp for being a random enemy and hits hard (hurr)).
Another dinosaur, this time with psychic powers (can cast Psy Fire Gamma and starts with a Shield Alfa effect activated), because a man-eating giant dinosaur wasn’t enough EXTREME.
A… No idea, nothing dangerous fortunately.
Wandering around a bit the party finds:
It may be hard to spot but there’s another parrot that works as a telephone and a tenda with something to tell:
”Did you feel the earthquake a little while ago? ...You know, we have earthquakes all the time here. After an earthquake, the hot springs will erupt. The blue springs are great for recovering health. The Red springs are perfect for healing paralysis or drawing out poison.”
As the xenos points out, after an undetermined number of seconds the screen will shake due an earthquake, and the red springs (or geysers) will heal all the hp AND psychic points of the entire party, rending completely useless the blue springs, because none of the enemies here can poison or paralyze you (and if you suffer of one of these ailments you can just use Psi healing Beta/Gamma and call it a day). Some minutes later, the party notices what seemed to be a small village:
More proof of Porky’s villainy (and his training on elite ninja sneaking skills to be able to evade all the dinosaurs roaming around). Trying to enter the village triggers another dialogue:
”I'm going to open the door, and you get out of there right now! I'm the boss, so I will let you out. Thank you for the Tendakraut.(Codex's Tendakraut was stolen.)(The awful smell surrounding the group is now gone.)”
Dinosaur cage it says? Isn’t the other way around? Whatever, as it finishes speaking the door is opened, allowing us to happily harass them with questions:
”I don't understand what he's talking about.”
Intelligence: Umm, have we found the Talking rock we were entrusted to search? Before confirming it, I’ll talk to everyone on the “town”:
”You must be tired. To stay, it'll run you $400. You are going to stay, aren't you? (Actually no, because that’s a ton for a crappy shack and as I told before geysers heal you completely for free). Money rules even at the end of the world. We cannot accept a guest who has no money.”
So greed is an universal language after all. In any case, more “citizens”’ jabbering:
”That's what my brother tells me. But I don't believe it... He's just spewing out of his cake hole.”
One fellow with a bit of brain, it’ll be inevitably silenced with its death before his questioning threatens the chieftain’s authority, but I don’t care so…
The town’s store, sells really useful amenities like new weapons (such as the Holy Fry Pan, Black Cat’s most powerful weapon that can be bought), accessories and food.
” because we couldn't stand the quiet up above. So, we established a separate tribe. I hope we can be friendly again some day. ...Yeah, it was a lot easier to live up above.”
So this tribe had to choose between living with terminally shy, emo-like silent guys, or living in a dangerous, dinosaur-infested underground jungle? The choice is obvious. More randomness:
”I was an exchange student who traveled to a country that is known as an economic superpower. My name is Ay-go Stikke. Let me know if I can do anything for you. Shall I loan you some money?”
Not necessary because by now I don’t know what to do with so much money. Next Tenda:
”Yeah, you know, the Tenda up there are shy and don't like to talk. It may be my imagination, but I think I hear the sound of other Tenda talking up above. I wonder... have they overcome their shyness?”
Enough with the wackiness, time to continue the plot, so Codex “speaks” to the Stone, triggering a long speech:
”I'm going to tell you something very important. You may want to take notes. Ready? You're the chosen one. Your destiny is not only yours...It's the destiny of the whole universe. There will be a time in which all of you in the universe will overlap each other. It's not necessary to understand now. Do you remember "Giant Step" in Onett? That is one of "Your Sanctuary."It is a spot which gives you power and allows you to realize all your skills. There was a monster that protected it. The monster was influenced by a power of the place. You must have beaten those monsters. You must reach all of the eight power spots in the world...When the Sound Stone records the melodies of all eight power spots,you can finally see "Your World." I'll tell you all of the power spots.”
”All of me in the universe? You mean that I must kill an overpowered emofag by-product of Superman to stop a Crisis on the multi-ver…?”
Talking Stone: “Don’t interrupt me please. As I was saying, the power spots are: 1. "Giant Step" in Onett. 2. "Lilliput Steps" in Peaceful Rest Valley near Twoson. 3. "Milky Well" in Grapefruit Falls in Saturn Valley. 4. "Rainy Circle" found by Jeff in Winters. 5. "Magnet Hill" at the edge of the city of Fourside. 6. "Pink Cloud" which Poo knows. 7. and... "Lumine Hole" where the shining lichen lives in the cave. 8. A new place is now going to be opened up to you. "Fire Spring," located southwest of here. Listen to the melodies of all eight power spots. If you do not fail, you may upset Giygas' plans... Understand, Codex? The time will come. The time when the destiny of you and the whole universe will overlap...It is fast approaching.”
The half useful, half purple prose speech it’s actually a reminder of all the Sanctuaries in the game, for if you have missed one or two, but this doesn’t apply to us. From here we can directly enter to the cave that will lead us to the last dungeon, but before I decide to enter another cave at the southwest:
This odd place even has a custom “song”: http://rpgmusic.org/earthbound/the-clif ... ime-forgot. Let’s continue:
”Except now I can’t get out.”
Ignore that retard; this is the last opportunity to save before entering the dungeon, it’s time to conquer the final dungeon right now:
The dungeon is a typical “fire stage”, with fire-based mooks, like:
A flaming caramel custard, can use Psi Fire Omega so it should be killed as soon as possible.
A psycho with psychic powers (Psi Fire Gamma) that’s on fire, a pun-based enemy that shouldn’t be underestimated, specially if he appears with his older brother, the:
Major Psychic Psycho, can use shields and has even more attack power,
and the Evil Elemental, the last “ghost-type” enemy you will find.
Time to finish this madness, SHOWTIME!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=poCEuaTCOaw
So the plot-twist was that Codex was marked from birth with great psychic powers, not a surprise. Notice how the boss gained a power shield with the only purpose of screwing you if you tried to cheat using a Multi-bottle rocket, one of the times that the game will punish your lazy ass if you try the cheap way. Also, you just had heard Eight Melodies, Mother 2/Earthbound’s rendition of a song with the same name of Mother 1, and probably the most known song of the series (specially with the extended version that shows up later), basically THE Mother trademark song, so famous that it had been featured in textbooks in some elementary schools in Japan. Now, it’s Magicant’s time! http://rpgmusic.org/earthbound/welcome-home
This dream-like scenario was previously shown in Earthbound Zero, and as this one it was actually the “mental world” of someone, filled to the brim with trippy creatures and oddities in an already trippy game; this version however reaches a new level featuring new things such as the landscape’s color shifting every time you talk with someone. About this:
” Why don't you explore your mind. Take your time, Codex.”
”From these, you created Magicant, the realm of your mind. In Magicant, there's beauty, kindness, sorrow, and hatred. Of course, there's an evil and violent side of you. The Sea of Eden sits at the center of those feelings. It takes you to the truth about yourself.”
It goes something like that. Now we have our next objective to accomplish, to defeat the hero’s “evil side”, a typical plot device older than dirt.
”By the way, why I’m wearing my pajamas?”
Would you prefer your birthday’s suit of the Japanese edition?
”WHAT????
”… Actually, being my own mind, it kinda makes sense I do whatever the hell I want, including the clothes.”
Maybe but you know that Nintendo’s censorcorps would never allow something like that despite not showing “anything”. It’s an irony that 15/16 years later (nowadays) the SEX and NIPPLES are used as cheap advertisements and games’ INNOVASHUN when before there was so much zealotry. In any case, let’s watch and see what your mind has to show, this one is the last “new town” of the game that we’ll see:
” Other people can't get close to it. It's a strange place."
Codex’s “dream”sis behaves exactly as the real one, you can tell her to mange the junk you don’t want to carry everywhere.
” If you wish, you can stay here forever. I'll make some PIE for you.”
“Dream”-Mom does the same as well.
” Codex used to be small and weak.)”
Hey, Everdred is here too!
” but you remind me of myself when I was young. I can't do anything more for you. Good luck, Codex!”
He disappears when he finishes talking. So he was dead after all… Who cares? More randomness:
” (I'm just a faint memory. You don't usually remember me. But you've heard my song in the back of your mind.)”
Here you can use the machine to extract money and call Dad. Yes, from inside a dream, sadly there isn’t any special dialogue for that.
This is the last shop of the game, the vendor sells Earth Pendants (partly protects from Flash, more about this later) and Magic Puddings (restore 40 PPs).
Hmm, now that we’re inside the mind of Codex, I suppose most of these creatures will be partly pure, raw imagination, and partly symbolisms. Why Codex has reminders of his defeated antagonist in his mind, the reason? I don’t know.
That’s surely a memory about when he learned to tell the time.
Another childhood memory.
”Do you prefer reading comics or playing games? What? You're busy?...”
This could be a representation of Codex’s playful side, maybe.
The building at the right is a hotel that you can use:
”Your heart know things you aren’t aware of.”
Weird, but there’s much more:
I suppose all of these are more early childhood’s memories, and the thing with the bunnies and carrots… Well, considering that Codex was naked in the original version and he’s 13 years old, it isn’t very hard to guess he’s not so innocent anymore (/Freud).
Near the chain of “mindpeople” there’s a familiar face:
”But, Codex... well, okay...Let's be friends forever, all right?”
NEVER, it’s too late for you, no mercy for the enemies of the Emperor and Mankind!!! Moving to the north:
”He appeared earlier in the game and gave up the ghost before he achieved his goal.”
Another reminder. The interesting part here is the building behind:
http://rpgmusic.org/earthbound/the-jolly-flying-man
”…My name? Let’s say Flying Man”
These npcs already appeared before in Earthbound Zero/Mother 1, and in both games they’ll assist you in Magicant fighting against the monsters here; the Flying Men don’t have special powers but they’re good meatshields. In this game they’re supposed to be Codex’s Courage (there’s something to say when your courage consists of a muscled chicken humanoid, but I’ll restrain myself to comment), and can be killed, but after losing one member you can return to recruit another replacement (and if you’re particularly evil you can deplete the main character of “courage” allowing the Flying Men to die, who will notice you’re indirectly killing them purposely and comment about it).
Stop whining and die properly goddammit. Now, the real fun starts, there’s another Sage Old Man TM waiting for us with more plot exposition:
”You can't go there unless you're truly ready. It's a place where you can touch the truth of the universe. Going there may bring sorrow.”
From this point onwards a new song starts (http://rpgmusic.org/earthbound/deeper-i ... bconscious), and enemies start spawning. As these are figments of imagination gone wild, they’re even more… “wackier” than usual:
”There's lots of junk in my backpack at a time like this. Why don't I get rid of something I don't use.”
I think that’s a metajoke referring to the player’s and rpgs in general inevitable obsession to collect all type of stuff you will not use immediately. About the mooks I was referring before:
This thing doesn’t attack by itself but it can call reinforcements continuously without limit, quickly summoning an army if you don’t kill them early on. I suppose these could be a part of Codex’s imagination, symbolizing imagination’s infinite potential or something.
That mook rarely attacks immediately, they’ll first salute you and then spam electric attacks, these could mean… Children’s shocking vitality? Whatever.
The first enemy can throw Super Bombs against you in every turn, and the 2nd one can use powerful psychic attacks. No idea what they’re supposed to be.
And this thing… I got it, they mean that Codex is truly fucked up. No more questions. Eventually the main character reaches the end of this section:
Touching the strange tentacle teleports you to the Sea of Eden: http://rpgmusic.org/earthbound/sea-of-eden
This place is mostly linear and straightforward, being populated only by not one but THREE Krakens!!
Fortunately, they’re here just to show how strong you had become because you will be able to kill them easily with just regular attacks. After slaying all of the Krakens, we meet Codex’s evil side (umm, facing a part of the main character after battling another three figments of the MC’s psyche going haywire? Why it does sound familiar?)
”You must mean my soul/mind, the brain cannot be “evil” per se.”
Devil Statue: “Technicalities aside, as I was saying you can’t beat me. Because you are the one who forced me into being…”
”Then you cannot kill me, you’re just a part of my imagination, you could die too”
”THEN I’LL KNOCK YOU DOWN AND WIPE OUT YOUR MEMORIES AS MANY TIMES AS NECESSARY.”
”You cannot erase my memories, YOU’RE part of my mind too.”
”THEN I’LL LOCK YOU IN YOUR OWN MIND FOR THE REST OF THE ETERNITY.”
”Come on, why so much hate?”
”BECAUSE I REALLY HATE YOU, I HATED YOU CREATED ME WITHOUT ANY PURPOSE, YOU ALWAYS HAD THE OPORTUNITY TO EXIST AND LIVE HAPPILY EVER, WHILE I WAS LOCKED AND REPRESSED, I ACCEPTED GYGAS’ OFFER OF FREEDOM AND I’LL DIE BEFORE BEING SLAVED FOREVER AGAIN.”
” (Charisma)We’re part of the same being, we could coexist as one as we were before, I…”
”(Charisma check: Failed) STOP THIS CHARADE, THIS IS A JRPG, DON’T EXPECT A DEEP DIALOGUE TO HAPPEN, EVEN IN EARTHBOUND.”
”Fine, then let’s DISCUSS in the old fashioned way!”
And so the battle at the center of the mind starts! Depending of your main character’s gear, the battle can be either easy, challenging, or fucking impossible. To be specific, Codex’s Nightmare’s attacks are any that Codex can use, this includes an attack of “Glorious Light” that is a powered version of Psi Flash Omega, a deadly psychic attack that if it hits, the target is instantly killed (if not, he receives one or several ailments), period. And unfortunately this applies to the main character; if you don’t have anything to protect against Flash the battle will reach an abrupt end when you’re bloomed to death (Earth’s pendant only gives you a 50% of protection against this attack), what’s more, the enemy starts with an activated Shield that will reflect your physical attacks. A shame, but before entering Magicant I already equiped Codex with the Sea Pendant, that offers you immunity to Flash, so I won the the battle with just turning on the “auto-battle” option and watching how the enemy is eventually overpowered by Codex’s sheer awesomeness. After the battle is over, a long cutscene triggers, watch the video to see what happens:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hQVTDvoxm4
By now Codex is surely a level Alpha psyker, and undoubtly the party’s most powerful member, an one-man army in a party of one-man armies, a true god of war, more broken that you could ever imagine (and more strangely, the silent protagonist finally talked, subverting the cliché), that should be immediately taken by the Inquisition, less his potential is wasted... Nevermind, I was getting off the track, now we must proceed as usual and speak to whoever seems to be able to advance the plot:
”I'm going to stay here for a while and help Mr. Saturn. It's important for a man to enjoy doing his duty.”
”Dr. Andonuts, Mr. Saturn and I worked together and finally completed the Phase Distorter. The purpose of the device is to enable instantaneous travel through space and time. In this prototype, you can only travel to different points within the same time period. It is able, however, to search out the locations of enemies. Right now, it is indicating the presence of enemies in the Lost Underworld!”
Interesting. What does have to say our own personal mad scientist?
”'And Apple Kid... He is a most exceptional young man, very different from other kids (once more notice here how he could say something kind about Jeff but he ignores the opportunity, even when his own son is in front of him).Well, anyway... The prototype Phase Distorter has been stolen. 'Someone resembling a pig wearing clothes took Mr. Saturn captive and stole the device!”
Porky strikes again, and now he has a time machine, great. In any case, now we have to try the Phase Distorter:
Unsurprisingly it fails hard.
”But that one material cannot normally be found on the earth. The material I'm thinking of came from a meteorite that fell when I was much younger. Have you seen a meteorite anywhere recently? 'Eureka! That's it! With even just a piece of the meteorite, I can synthesize the material Zexonyte...I doubt that your mortal enemy Giygas, or whatever, will allow you to go to Onett and get a piece of the meteorite. By now, Onett is in his evil hands. You must go, though, so take every possible precaution. The Mr. Saturns have introduced some of their new developments at their shop. Please check them out before you leave...I wonder what Onett is like at this point in time?...”
Dr Andonuts’ absolute lack of tact should be considered a new form of art. But enough with the rambling, we have a town to save, less Codex’s mom is in danger or worse (the new developments he mentions aren’t worth to check).
We’re too late however, the town had been totally closed, and deadly enemies patrol everywhere:
Meet the Ghost of Starman (a minstraslation, it should be called starman Ghost), the elite of Starmen, this monstruosity is faster than your party, and will usually cast Starstorm Alpha in the 1st turn, then start counting to three and cast Starstorm Omega, totally obliterating you if he isn’t dead by now (and his companion can paralyze you completely or confuse all of your characters), the only way to win fairly is to abuse the system and heal before the rolling hp reaches zero (that or giving an accessory that speeds up Black Cat and use her to summon Psy Shield Omega, causing the Starstorm to bounce back to the enemy for an unvoluntary suicide).
”This may be interesting, but, tell it to who cares, I must see if Mom is okay, NOW!”
” There are plenty of creepy monsters running around Onett now. The townspeople are barricaded in their homes, afraid to go out. I'm fine... But I am a bit scared. Everything will be okay if we just sit here quietly in the dark. Are you hungry? Do you want to eat some PIE? Are you more relaxed? Okay...”
”don’t you think?”
Fortunately, no-one important died, so we have to reach the mountain where everything started, the circle is complete…
Sadly the moment you step out dozens of enemies will spawn everywhere, but we have advanced too much to be defeated now, with time and sweat the party reaches the meteorite, takes a piece of it, and teleport back to Saturn Valley (there wasn’t any nasty surprise for a change).
”'Well, I've never actually seen this incredibly rare element before (didn’t he commented before something about a meteorite he saw when he was younger? Also, this could be a reference to Mother 1)...It is very intriguing. All right, leave everything to us, and you get some rest. This is getting most fascinating!”
After resting at the Saturn Valley’s hotel:
”is equipped with two new features. First, it can repair your biological functions. Second, it can save your progress. Don't be afraid, get right in! There is just one thing, though...You might not be able to return. So, make sure you are optimally outfitted. Are you ready to go? Even if you're not 100%, perfectly, completely ready...Well, you should be as prepared as possible. It would be for the best. Without careful preparation, you would be in big trouble. I just want to make sure you're ready. Let me know when your preparations are complete. (the game is telling this is the last chance to save, from now it’s endgame and you will not be able to return)Good. At last, the time has come.Are you ready? Remember, the Phase Distorter, version 2,is equipped with two new features. First, it can repair your biological functions. Second, it can save your progress. Don't be afraid! Get right in!”
The travel is fortunately safe, and after arriving at the place, we find something strange:
”'Excellent! You are truly excellent! 'There is only a little time left! I'll give you the last power. I must go now...(Poo became conscious of PSI Starstorm Omega!)”
Despite Psi Starstorm Omega is the most powerful psychic attack, Poo’s low PP and IQ makes it less useful than Psi Butthurt Omega, that can be spammed more times for more damage).
”Bad GUy GOnE. zOOm! wHERE? tO tHE PaSt.DinG, DinG!”
I wonder why Porky kidnapped a Mr Saturn. Perhaps he tought it was a relative of his. In any case, after several steps…
”We could finish it quickly because of Mr. Saturn's incredible scientific skill... Giygas is attacking from our exact location, but he is attacking from many years in the past.”
Something is off here, I smell trouble, and to reafirm my statement Andonuts walks away near the cliff, so we approach him cautiously:
”This can be done by way of the "Phase Distorter 3.However, the machine cannot warp living things, I mean lifeforms. Life is demolished in the process of warping. The only way to accomplish the time travel is to transfer your brain "program" into a robot, and send the robot to the past...The transfer means that your spirit will go with the robot while your body is left behind... I cannot promise that your spirit will come back after the battle in the past. Yes, you must understand that the four of you are the chosen ones. Do you still wish to face Giygas by travelling to the past?”
Fuck, that’s a hard choice, this can be the end of Codex if we agree. Gentlemen, are you bad dudes enough to go to the end of time itself to defeat the ultimate evil, even if it’s an one-way ticket? I’m eager to hear your reply.
(PS: Transfering a spirit to inanimate matter to be able to travel across time is a reference to the Great Race of Lovecraft if I recall correctly, and yes, this game has Lovecraftian influences as well, in fact, from here expect mindfuck and worse, there is no more innocence remaining, only madness, despair, pain and death)
We’re back at the Lost Underground, that’s so big your characters are tiny dots that move at the speed of snails (even the photographer if it was to appear, but ¿fortunately? his sprites in this area weren’t used in the game), and not only that, there are new, exclusive enemies like:
Wandering around a bit the party finds:
It may be hard to spot but there’s another parrot that works as a telephone and a tenda with something to tell:
As the xenos points out, after an undetermined number of seconds the screen will shake due an earthquake, and the red springs (or geysers) will heal all the hp AND psychic points of the entire party, rending completely useless the blue springs, because none of the enemies here can poison or paralyze you (and if you suffer of one of these ailments you can just use Psi healing Beta/Gamma and call it a day). Some minutes later, the party notices what seemed to be a small village:
More proof of Porky’s villainy (and his training on elite ninja sneaking skills to be able to evade all the dinosaurs roaming around). Trying to enter the village triggers another dialogue:
Dinosaur cage it says? Isn’t the other way around? Whatever, as it finishes speaking the door is opened, allowing us to happily harass them with questions:
Intelligence: Umm, have we found the Talking rock we were entrusted to search? Before confirming it, I’ll talk to everyone on the “town”:
So greed is an universal language after all. In any case, more “citizens”’ jabbering:
One fellow with a bit of brain, it’ll be inevitably silenced with its death before his questioning threatens the chieftain’s authority, but I don’t care so…
The town’s store, sells really useful amenities like new weapons (such as the Holy Fry Pan, Black Cat’s most powerful weapon that can be bought), accessories and food.
So this tribe had to choose between living with terminally shy, emo-like silent guys, or living in a dangerous, dinosaur-infested underground jungle? The choice is obvious. More randomness:
Not necessary because by now I don’t know what to do with so much money. Next Tenda:
Enough with the wackiness, time to continue the plot, so Codex “speaks” to the Stone, triggering a long speech:
Talking Stone: “Don’t interrupt me please. As I was saying, the power spots are: 1. "Giant Step" in Onett. 2. "Lilliput Steps" in Peaceful Rest Valley near Twoson. 3. "Milky Well" in Grapefruit Falls in Saturn Valley. 4. "Rainy Circle" found by Jeff in Winters. 5. "Magnet Hill" at the edge of the city of Fourside. 6. "Pink Cloud" which Poo knows. 7. and... "Lumine Hole" where the shining lichen lives in the cave. 8. A new place is now going to be opened up to you. "Fire Spring," located southwest of here. Listen to the melodies of all eight power spots. If you do not fail, you may upset Giygas' plans... Understand, Codex? The time will come. The time when the destiny of you and the whole universe will overlap...It is fast approaching.”
The half useful, half purple prose speech it’s actually a reminder of all the Sanctuaries in the game, for if you have missed one or two, but this doesn’t apply to us. From here we can directly enter to the cave that will lead us to the last dungeon, but before I decide to enter another cave at the southwest:
Ignore that retard; this is the last opportunity to save before entering the dungeon, it’s time to conquer the final dungeon right now:
The dungeon is a typical “fire stage”, with fire-based mooks, like:
Time to finish this madness, SHOWTIME!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=poCEuaTCOaw
So the plot-twist was that Codex was marked from birth with great psychic powers, not a surprise. Notice how the boss gained a power shield with the only purpose of screwing you if you tried to cheat using a Multi-bottle rocket, one of the times that the game will punish your lazy ass if you try the cheap way. Also, you just had heard Eight Melodies, Mother 2/Earthbound’s rendition of a song with the same name of Mother 1, and probably the most known song of the series (specially with the extended version that shows up later), basically THE Mother trademark song, so famous that it had been featured in textbooks in some elementary schools in Japan. Now, it’s Magicant’s time! http://rpgmusic.org/earthbound/welcome-home
This dream-like scenario was previously shown in Earthbound Zero, and as this one it was actually the “mental world” of someone, filled to the brim with trippy creatures and oddities in an already trippy game; this version however reaches a new level featuring new things such as the landscape’s color shifting every time you talk with someone. About this:
It goes something like that. Now we have our next objective to accomplish, to defeat the hero’s “evil side”, a typical plot device older than dirt.
Would you prefer your birthday’s suit of the Japanese edition?
Maybe but you know that Nintendo’s censorcorps would never allow something like that despite not showing “anything”. It’s an irony that 15/16 years later (nowadays) the SEX and NIPPLES are used as cheap advertisements and games’ INNOVASHUN when before there was so much zealotry. In any case, let’s watch and see what your mind has to show, this one is the last “new town” of the game that we’ll see:
Codex’s “dream”sis behaves exactly as the real one, you can tell her to mange the junk you don’t want to carry everywhere.
“Dream”-Mom does the same as well.
Hey, Everdred is here too!
He disappears when he finishes talking. So he was dead after all… Who cares? More randomness:
This is the last shop of the game, the vendor sells Earth Pendants (partly protects from Flash, more about this later) and Magic Puddings (restore 40 PPs).
Hmm, now that we’re inside the mind of Codex, I suppose most of these creatures will be partly pure, raw imagination, and partly symbolisms. Why Codex has reminders of his defeated antagonist in his mind, the reason? I don’t know.
This could be a representation of Codex’s playful side, maybe.
The building at the right is a hotel that you can use:
Weird, but there’s much more:
I suppose all of these are more early childhood’s memories, and the thing with the bunnies and carrots… Well, considering that Codex was naked in the original version and he’s 13 years old, it isn’t very hard to guess he’s not so innocent anymore (/Freud).
Near the chain of “mindpeople” there’s a familiar face:
NEVER, it’s too late for you, no mercy for the enemies of the Emperor and Mankind!!! Moving to the north:
Another reminder. The interesting part here is the building behind:
http://rpgmusic.org/earthbound/the-jolly-flying-man
These npcs already appeared before in Earthbound Zero/Mother 1, and in both games they’ll assist you in Magicant fighting against the monsters here; the Flying Men don’t have special powers but they’re good meatshields. In this game they’re supposed to be Codex’s Courage (there’s something to say when your courage consists of a muscled chicken humanoid, but I’ll restrain myself to comment), and can be killed, but after losing one member you can return to recruit another replacement (and if you’re particularly evil you can deplete the main character of “courage” allowing the Flying Men to die, who will notice you’re indirectly killing them purposely and comment about it).
From this point onwards a new song starts (http://rpgmusic.org/earthbound/deeper-i ... bconscious), and enemies start spawning. As these are figments of imagination gone wild, they’re even more… “wackier” than usual:
I think that’s a metajoke referring to the player’s and rpgs in general inevitable obsession to collect all type of stuff you will not use immediately. About the mooks I was referring before:
This thing doesn’t attack by itself but it can call reinforcements continuously without limit, quickly summoning an army if you don’t kill them early on. I suppose these could be a part of Codex’s imagination, symbolizing imagination’s infinite potential or something.
That mook rarely attacks immediately, they’ll first salute you and then spam electric attacks, these could mean… Children’s shocking vitality? Whatever.
The first enemy can throw Super Bombs against you in every turn, and the 2nd one can use powerful psychic attacks. No idea what they’re supposed to be.
And this thing… I got it, they mean that Codex is truly fucked up. No more questions. Eventually the main character reaches the end of this section:
Touching the strange tentacle teleports you to the Sea of Eden: http://rpgmusic.org/earthbound/sea-of-eden
This place is mostly linear and straightforward, being populated only by not one but THREE Krakens!!
Fortunately, they’re here just to show how strong you had become because you will be able to kill them easily with just regular attacks. After slaying all of the Krakens, we meet Codex’s evil side (umm, facing a part of the main character after battling another three figments of the MC’s psyche going haywire? Why it does sound familiar?)
Devil Statue: “Technicalities aside, as I was saying you can’t beat me. Because you are the one who forced me into being…”
And so the battle at the center of the mind starts! Depending of your main character’s gear, the battle can be either easy, challenging, or fucking impossible. To be specific, Codex’s Nightmare’s attacks are any that Codex can use, this includes an attack of “Glorious Light” that is a powered version of Psi Flash Omega, a deadly psychic attack that if it hits, the target is instantly killed (if not, he receives one or several ailments), period. And unfortunately this applies to the main character; if you don’t have anything to protect against Flash the battle will reach an abrupt end when you’re bloomed to death (Earth’s pendant only gives you a 50% of protection against this attack), what’s more, the enemy starts with an activated Shield that will reflect your physical attacks. A shame, but before entering Magicant I already equiped Codex with the Sea Pendant, that offers you immunity to Flash, so I won the the battle with just turning on the “auto-battle” option and watching how the enemy is eventually overpowered by Codex’s sheer awesomeness. After the battle is over, a long cutscene triggers, watch the video to see what happens:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hQVTDvoxm4
By now Codex is surely a level Alpha psyker, and undoubtly the party’s most powerful member, an one-man army in a party of one-man armies, a true god of war, more broken that you could ever imagine (and more strangely, the silent protagonist finally talked, subverting the cliché), that should be immediately taken by the Inquisition, less his potential is wasted... Nevermind, I was getting off the track, now we must proceed as usual and speak to whoever seems to be able to advance the plot:
Interesting. What does have to say our own personal mad scientist?
Porky strikes again, and now he has a time machine, great. In any case, now we have to try the Phase Distorter:
Unsurprisingly it fails hard.
Dr Andonuts’ absolute lack of tact should be considered a new form of art. But enough with the rambling, we have a town to save, less Codex’s mom is in danger or worse (the new developments he mentions aren’t worth to check).
We’re too late however, the town had been totally closed, and deadly enemies patrol everywhere:
Meet the Ghost of Starman (a minstraslation, it should be called starman Ghost), the elite of Starmen, this monstruosity is faster than your party, and will usually cast Starstorm Alpha in the 1st turn, then start counting to three and cast Starstorm Omega, totally obliterating you if he isn’t dead by now (and his companion can paralyze you completely or confuse all of your characters), the only way to win fairly is to abuse the system and heal before the rolling hp reaches zero (that or giving an accessory that speeds up Black Cat and use her to summon Psy Shield Omega, causing the Starstorm to bounce back to the enemy for an unvoluntary suicide).
Fortunately, no-one important died, so we have to reach the mountain where everything started, the circle is complete…
Sadly the moment you step out dozens of enemies will spawn everywhere, but we have advanced too much to be defeated now, with time and sweat the party reaches the meteorite, takes a piece of it, and teleport back to Saturn Valley (there wasn’t any nasty surprise for a change).
After resting at the Saturn Valley’s hotel:
The travel is fortunately safe, and after arriving at the place, we find something strange:
Despite Psi Starstorm Omega is the most powerful psychic attack, Poo’s low PP and IQ makes it less useful than Psi Butthurt Omega, that can be spammed more times for more damage).
I wonder why Porky kidnapped a Mr Saturn. Perhaps he tought it was a relative of his. In any case, after several steps…
Something is off here, I smell trouble, and to reafirm my statement Andonuts walks away near the cliff, so we approach him cautiously:
Fuck, that’s a hard choice, this can be the end of Codex if we agree. Gentlemen, are you bad dudes enough to go to the end of time itself to defeat the ultimate evil, even if it’s an one-way ticket? I’m eager to hear your reply.
(PS: Transfering a spirit to inanimate matter to be able to travel across time is a reference to the Great Race of Lovecraft if I recall correctly, and yes, this game has Lovecraftian influences as well, in fact, from here expect mindfuck and worse, there is no more innocence remaining, only madness, despair, pain and death)
Silellak
Cipher
Let's get our Borg on.
lightbane
Arcane
- Joined
- Dec 27, 2008
- Messages
- 10,200
Update 12: Abandon all hope ye who enter here (or how to stop a mind-warping horror with a 4th wall nuke)
Before I start the update properly, I would like to talk about It:
Fuck no, Earthbound is crazy enough, don’t add clowns please, I meant Mother 1 and 2s’ big bads, Gygas/Giegue. For those that didn't bother with the Mother 1 lp: Long story short, Gygas was an alien adopted by a couple (George and Maria) who were abducted by the aliens. Eventually George escapes and the aliens decide to take retribution generations later invading Earth. A party of 3 kids lead by Ninten (George’s great-grandson) confronted Gygas; continuing with the tradition of being atypical, unlike other jrpgs in Mother series the final bosses are not emo-powered fags with a fetish with angelic wings accompanied by broken pseudo-latin “epic” songs, neither angry gods/god-like beings bent to cause total destruction of Earth/Universe/Reality for the lulz, in fact, Gygas was “just” a superpowered alien overlord, so strong it couldn’t be defeated by normal means; to defeat him Ninten and co sang the Eight melodies, a lullaby that Maria liked to sing to it when Gygas was a baby. Overcomed by Maria’s motherly love, Gygas admitted defeat and flied off. You can see the final battle of Mother 1 here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jbBL5XeIy38
A full-sized pic of Giegue, for those interested:
Years later, Gygas is back, but now we have the power of Earth itself with us, will it be enough?
Where we left:
Fuck yes!! What the hell do you think we are?? We’re the Chosen Ones, and we’re not afraid of anything. So be it!
”Let me take a good look at you now... Codex , please give me that red cap... Ready... stand by...”
Then the game jumps into a sequence where all the heroes are lying while they have their souls transfered to their new robotic bodies or whatever you want to call it. After the procedures are complete:
”'Jeff!... my son...There is no turning back now. Codex, activate the Phase Distorter 3 by your own hand, thereby following your own destiny...Will you do so? (You cannot chicken out now; if you say “no” then Jeff will be asked instead, and so forth). Only a few people know of your amazing courage, but the number of people you save through that bravery is immense. I feel very fortunate... to be present at the beginning of this monumental undertaking...”
Then there’s a timetravel sequence:
And we’re now in the Past: http://rpgmusic.org/earthbound/the-place
Even the music is alien-like, to emphasize this is a strange place. Before anything, let’s talk to Dad about our succes:
”Who is this?! Codex?! Do you have a cold or something? Your voice sounds kind of funny.”
”Dad, this may be the last time I’ll be able to call you, I’m in a weird, desolated cave to fight Gygas, the Ultime Evil in the past but I have the power of the entire Earth within me, unfortunately our spirits are currently inhabiting robotic bodies and even if we won we may not be able to return anymore, so for (I hope not) last time, I love you Dad!”
Dad: Oh, well. That’s ok…
From here he says the usual stuff like experience to next level and if you want to save, apparently timetravelling isn’t an enough feat for him.
”Cut the crap, I have a question I would like to know: Why our new bodies look like silly oversized Meccano toys? Where are the cool guns?“
You shouldn’t underestimate Andonuts, considering he made these robots in pretty much five minutes, and yet they’re solid and well-made enough to retain your stats and even be able to digest food somehow (don’t ask); undoubtly necessary because as this is the last level there will be powerful loot (the Legendary Bat, Codex’s strongest weapon), but even more powerful enemies. Some of them are old acquantainces like the Starman Ghost and the Nuclear Reactor Robot, but there are also new enemies like:
The daemonic tent’s enhanced enhanced version, bites so hard it can poison you or diamondize one party member, rending him useless,
Kraken ultra-overpowered form, hard to kill but there’s a 1/128 chance that he’ll drop the Gutsy Bat, Codex’s strongest Ultimate weapon; unfortunately we don’t have time to grind now,
and lastly but not least the Final Starman, the most broken enemy of the game: it starts the battle with a Psi Shield Beta, can use both Starstorm Alpha and Omega, and can use Healing Omega, restoring a fallen foe to its maximum hp. Ironically he’ll be your last target because Starmen Ghost are easier to kill... Except if you meet a combination of Starman Ghost, a Final Starman and a Nuclear Reactor Robot, who will break, kill and rape your bodies (and not necessarily in this order).
To progress you have to reach the end of the first section and touch this teleporter, and the same with the next section until you’re at Gygas’s lair's entrance:
http://rpgmusic.org/earthbound/giygas-lair
Damn, Gygas’s lair was based on Giger's works it seems. There’s more however:
Okay, the real mindfuck starts now. As you approach the… Let’s say “Eye” the thing trembles and it opens revealing:
” It’s me, Porky. I assist only the strong and able! That's Porky. You guys look pathetic! The Apple of Enlightenment has already made a prediction...But I won't let what the Apple of Enlightenment predicted take place. You guys will be beaten by Giygas. Giygas will be stronger, a more powerful entity than any other! Why? ‘Cause of me. I was led by Giygas, and now I'm here. The Apple of Enlightenment couldn't predict this. Master Giygas. No, Giygas is no longer the wielder of Evil. He has become the embodiment of Evil itself...which he cannot control on his own. He is the Evil Power.”
The rumors say that in the original version it’s explained that this Apple of Enlightenment is that Codex’s face; also apparently Porky had “evolved” so much that he can now defy Fate (and I would like to think that using the scrapped parts of the helicopter and the first prototype of the time machine he created a mech for extra awesomeness, he’s a true evil Mcgyver clone now). Here it comes!!!
Powerful, badass enemies require badass music, so there you have: http://rpgmusic.org/earthbound/pokey-means-business
The battle, as the music, gives you a false sense of security, right now your thoughts will be “let’s blast these motherfuckers with everything we have!”, previously raising some defenses, for the extra careful, right? WRONG!!! Right now Gygas has a plot armor so strong that leaves the Ultramarines as if they were minor redshirts, he’s immune to everything, and whatever you throw it will be reflected against you, and shields will not help because his own one takes preference (in other words, try to use Starstorm Omega or Multi Bottle Rockets and you will be self-owned). The strategy here is to bash Porky until he stops to rant (notice btw that even the game itself considers Porky as an annoyance, and about why he looks bluish and sick I bet that’s because of Gygas’ influence and the time travel side-effects), Gygas will randomly use one of the Main Character’s psychic powers and Porky can charge with the mechspider and throw a stinky gas that lowers Offense:
”Well, it is a gazillion years too early for you to oppose Giygas! You must feel pretty stupid to keep fighting without even knowing what Giygas looks like! If you were to ever see Giygas, you'd be so petrified with fear, you'd never be able to run away! That's how scary it is! So, do you want me to turn off the "Devil's Machine?" Well, prepare to be amazed!”
That doesn’t sound good (also, now I realize Porky’s mech is a spider-like robot, a possible reference to the true form of It, of Stephen King, who is obviously influenced by Lovecraft).
WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING!!??? Any child that was playing the game by now would have a great chance to suffer nightmares (what’s worse, at this point the game uses the nastiest anti-copy protection ever made until DRM shit appeared, the screen would go crazy and froze, and erase all of your saves).
“Giygas cannot think rationally any more, and he isn't even aware of what he is doing now. His own mind was destroyed by his incredible power. What an all-mighty idiot! Yep, that's what he is! Heh heh heh heh... and you… you will be..just another meal to him!”
If I understood correctly, that’s another reference to Lovecraft, more concretely to Azathoth, the Ultimate Chaos, the Lord of All Things, a being so powerful that even Chtulu is scared shitless of him, it’s said that if he was to awake from his mad dream reality would cease to be.
A possible interpretation of Azathoth, let’s pray Porky is just bluffing…
Unfortunately he isn’t, Gygas is pretty much unstoppable and impossible to harm:
All of his attacks look like this, and it can either heavily damage all of the party, use a super-Flash like attack that can insta-kill several characters at once and/or cause ailments, a sort of electric attack (that can be reflected with the Franklin Badge fortunately), or even all of the above at once. What’s more disturbing is his “speeches”, more about this later:
Eventually Pokey shows up to taunt us a last time:
Porky: “Heh heh heh heh. You must really be at the end of your rope. 'In this bizarre dimension, you four are the only force fighting for justice... And here you stand, waiting to be burned up with all the rest of the garbage of this universe... Haaaaah! That's so sad. I can't help but shed a tear. You know, my heart is beating incredibly fast,...I must be experiencing absolute terror! Do you want to scream for help here in the dark?! Ha ha ha ha ha! Why not call your mommy, Codex! Say, "Mommy! Daddy! I'm so frightened! I think I'm gonna wet my pants!" I know you have telepathy, or something, so just try and call for help, you pathetically weak heroes of so-called justice! No one will help you now! Ha ha ha haah... Don't worry, your pitiful suffering with be over soon.”
With that disturbing comment the battle moves to the next phase, where Gygas tooks a even more fucked-up shape:
And what’s worse, now it “talks”:
”I feel… g…o…o…d…” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R2BAeh8w ... r_embedded
”AARGH!!! My mind is in great pain!!!! Can’t we do something to stop this hellspawn??”
“ “He doesn’t even flinch at our attacks, we’re powerless!”
Indeed, no matter how hard you try Gygas cannot be killed with normal meansll, you should start your praying.
”W-w-ere not so desperate!!! N-no, Black Cat?”
“Please give us'"...Please give us strength, If it is possible... please... Somebody...... help us.”
And against all odds… this works:
”they had never experienced before, and they all started praying for the safety of Codex and his friends.)”
”AARGH!!! That hurts, Codex!! Non…retarded plot devices… HURT!!!”
The retarded being shows he has been harmed changing to an even more fucked up shape:
”Come on! We can kill him!!! PRAY HARDER BITCH!!!”
Codex got it right, now you have to use Black Cat’s Pray several times while you try to keep the party alive. Even with that Gygas once in a while will throw another of its sick tantrums:
The party fortunately resists and Black Cat starts praying once more:
Damn! Not enough, we need more! Black Cat prays again:
To save some space I’ll now just post Gygas’ new ramblings and the praying’s effects, Black Cat’s dialogue is more or less the same:
More praying, NOW!!!
Come on, you can do it!!
We’re running short of people, better the next shot to be the last one or we’re screwed, if Gygas’ inanities allows us:
”Codex, Codex, Codex, Codex, Codex, Codex, Codex, Codex, Codex, Codex, Codex, Codex!!”
At this point Gygas is so wounded it mutates in another, even greater fucked up-form, the Evil Wallpaper of Doom With a Nightmarish Baby at the Background:
This is our last chance, if Black Cat doesn’t succeed…
That’s it, Gygas literally ate the prayer. I’m tired of this shit…
REALLY tired… It looks like I have to do it personally:
You want my help? I can out-mindfuck you with these pictures, your wannabe-god of madness, take that!!
THE NEW SHIT!!
Horrible writing!
Oblivion with guns!
GOATSE!!!
JAPAN!!!
The Codex!!
:receive: :codexrage:
Good writing!!!
EXTREME!!!
Our signature weapon, Butthurting!!!
And lastly but not least, the true Father of mindrape, tentaclerape and (unofficially), Japan, the goddamn Howard Phillips Lovecraft!!
:receive:
That should do it, effectively Gygas couldn’t resist the sensory overload of that clusterfuck and starts to self-destruct:
And so Gygas, the most powerful boss ever existed (so much it requires direct intervention from the player (??)) suffered the ultimate butthurt, death, dying as the game starts, with filter-rape! Unfortunately Porky escaped once more, but we have more troubling matters…
A great power requires even greater sacrifice (whoever babbles about responsability will be shot), and it seems this is the end of the Chosen Ones… Or is it? Don’t miss the ending the next update!!!
Here’s the animated version, no less awesome and mind-screwing:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q22AgX6myGk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OwB4Pi5K8JM
And now compare the intensity of that fight with another supposed “epic, best rpg of the decade”:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XLkiiopo ... re=related
Proff that the world is unfair. As an extra, some pics of Gygas’s lair in 3d:
Stay sharp for the last update (although if you could bump it to next page it could help)!
Before I start the update properly, I would like to talk about It:
Fuck no, Earthbound is crazy enough, don’t add clowns please, I meant Mother 1 and 2s’ big bads, Gygas/Giegue. For those that didn't bother with the Mother 1 lp: Long story short, Gygas was an alien adopted by a couple (George and Maria) who were abducted by the aliens. Eventually George escapes and the aliens decide to take retribution generations later invading Earth. A party of 3 kids lead by Ninten (George’s great-grandson) confronted Gygas; continuing with the tradition of being atypical, unlike other jrpgs in Mother series the final bosses are not emo-powered fags with a fetish with angelic wings accompanied by broken pseudo-latin “epic” songs, neither angry gods/god-like beings bent to cause total destruction of Earth/Universe/Reality for the lulz, in fact, Gygas was “just” a superpowered alien overlord, so strong it couldn’t be defeated by normal means; to defeat him Ninten and co sang the Eight melodies, a lullaby that Maria liked to sing to it when Gygas was a baby. Overcomed by Maria’s motherly love, Gygas admitted defeat and flied off. You can see the final battle of Mother 1 here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jbBL5XeIy38
A full-sized pic of Giegue, for those interested:
Years later, Gygas is back, but now we have the power of Earth itself with us, will it be enough?
Where we left:
Fuck yes!! What the hell do you think we are?? We’re the Chosen Ones, and we’re not afraid of anything. So be it!
Then the game jumps into a sequence where all the heroes are lying while they have their souls transfered to their new robotic bodies or whatever you want to call it. After the procedures are complete:
Then there’s a timetravel sequence:
And we’re now in the Past: http://rpgmusic.org/earthbound/the-place
Even the music is alien-like, to emphasize this is a strange place. Before anything, let’s talk to Dad about our succes:
Dad: Oh, well. That’s ok…
From here he says the usual stuff like experience to next level and if you want to save, apparently timetravelling isn’t an enough feat for him.
You shouldn’t underestimate Andonuts, considering he made these robots in pretty much five minutes, and yet they’re solid and well-made enough to retain your stats and even be able to digest food somehow (don’t ask); undoubtly necessary because as this is the last level there will be powerful loot (the Legendary Bat, Codex’s strongest weapon), but even more powerful enemies. Some of them are old acquantainces like the Starman Ghost and the Nuclear Reactor Robot, but there are also new enemies like:
To progress you have to reach the end of the first section and touch this teleporter, and the same with the next section until you’re at Gygas’s lair's entrance:
Damn, Gygas’s lair was based on Giger's works it seems. There’s more however:
Okay, the real mindfuck starts now. As you approach the… Let’s say “Eye” the thing trembles and it opens revealing:
The rumors say that in the original version it’s explained that this Apple of Enlightenment is that Codex’s face; also apparently Porky had “evolved” so much that he can now defy Fate (and I would like to think that using the scrapped parts of the helicopter and the first prototype of the time machine he created a mech for extra awesomeness, he’s a true evil Mcgyver clone now). Here it comes!!!
The battle, as the music, gives you a false sense of security, right now your thoughts will be “let’s blast these motherfuckers with everything we have!”, previously raising some defenses, for the extra careful, right? WRONG!!! Right now Gygas has a plot armor so strong that leaves the Ultramarines as if they were minor redshirts, he’s immune to everything, and whatever you throw it will be reflected against you, and shields will not help because his own one takes preference (in other words, try to use Starstorm Omega or Multi Bottle Rockets and you will be self-owned). The strategy here is to bash Porky until he stops to rant (notice btw that even the game itself considers Porky as an annoyance, and about why he looks bluish and sick I bet that’s because of Gygas’ influence and the time travel side-effects), Gygas will randomly use one of the Main Character’s psychic powers and Porky can charge with the mechspider and throw a stinky gas that lowers Offense:
That doesn’t sound good (also, now I realize Porky’s mech is a spider-like robot, a possible reference to the true form of It, of Stephen King, who is obviously influenced by Lovecraft).
WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING!!??? Any child that was playing the game by now would have a great chance to suffer nightmares (what’s worse, at this point the game uses the nastiest anti-copy protection ever made until DRM shit appeared, the screen would go crazy and froze, and erase all of your saves).
If I understood correctly, that’s another reference to Lovecraft, more concretely to Azathoth, the Ultimate Chaos, the Lord of All Things, a being so powerful that even Chtulu is scared shitless of him, it’s said that if he was to awake from his mad dream reality would cease to be.
A possible interpretation of Azathoth, let’s pray Porky is just bluffing…
Unfortunately he isn’t, Gygas is pretty much unstoppable and impossible to harm:
All of his attacks look like this, and it can either heavily damage all of the party, use a super-Flash like attack that can insta-kill several characters at once and/or cause ailments, a sort of electric attack (that can be reflected with the Franklin Badge fortunately), or even all of the above at once. What’s more disturbing is his “speeches”, more about this later:
Eventually Pokey shows up to taunt us a last time:
Porky: “Heh heh heh heh. You must really be at the end of your rope. 'In this bizarre dimension, you four are the only force fighting for justice... And here you stand, waiting to be burned up with all the rest of the garbage of this universe... Haaaaah! That's so sad. I can't help but shed a tear. You know, my heart is beating incredibly fast,...I must be experiencing absolute terror! Do you want to scream for help here in the dark?! Ha ha ha ha ha! Why not call your mommy, Codex! Say, "Mommy! Daddy! I'm so frightened! I think I'm gonna wet my pants!" I know you have telepathy, or something, so just try and call for help, you pathetically weak heroes of so-called justice! No one will help you now! Ha ha ha haah... Don't worry, your pitiful suffering with be over soon.”
With that disturbing comment the battle moves to the next phase, where Gygas tooks a even more fucked-up shape:
And what’s worse, now it “talks”:
Indeed, no matter how hard you try Gygas cannot be killed with normal meansll, you should start your praying.
And against all odds… this works:
The retarded being shows he has been harmed changing to an even more fucked up shape:
Codex got it right, now you have to use Black Cat’s Pray several times while you try to keep the party alive. Even with that Gygas once in a while will throw another of its sick tantrums:
The party fortunately resists and Black Cat starts praying once more:
Damn! Not enough, we need more! Black Cat prays again:
To save some space I’ll now just post Gygas’ new ramblings and the praying’s effects, Black Cat’s dialogue is more or less the same:
More praying, NOW!!!
Come on, you can do it!!
We’re running short of people, better the next shot to be the last one or we’re screwed, if Gygas’ inanities allows us:
At this point Gygas is so wounded it mutates in another, even greater fucked up-form, the Evil Wallpaper of Doom With a Nightmarish Baby at the Background:
This is our last chance, if Black Cat doesn’t succeed…
That’s it, Gygas literally ate the prayer. I’m tired of this shit…
REALLY tired… It looks like I have to do it personally:
You want my help? I can out-mindfuck you with these pictures, your wannabe-god of madness, take that!!
THE NEW SHIT!!
Horrible writing!
Oblivion with guns!
GOATSE!!!
JAPAN!!!
The Codex!!
:receive: :codexrage:
Good writing!!!
EXTREME!!!
Our signature weapon, Butthurting!!!
And lastly but not least, the true Father of mindrape, tentaclerape and (unofficially), Japan, the goddamn Howard Phillips Lovecraft!!
:receive:
That should do it, effectively Gygas couldn’t resist the sensory overload of that clusterfuck and starts to self-destruct:
And so Gygas, the most powerful boss ever existed (so much it requires direct intervention from the player (??)) suffered the ultimate butthurt, death, dying as the game starts, with filter-rape! Unfortunately Porky escaped once more, but we have more troubling matters…
A great power requires even greater sacrifice (whoever babbles about responsability will be shot), and it seems this is the end of the Chosen Ones… Or is it? Don’t miss the ending the next update!!!
Here’s the animated version, no less awesome and mind-screwing:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q22AgX6myGk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OwB4Pi5K8JM
And now compare the intensity of that fight with another supposed “epic, best rpg of the decade”:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XLkiiopo ... re=related
Proff that the world is unfair. As an extra, some pics of Gygas’s lair in 3d:
Stay sharp for the last update (although if you could bump it to next page it could help)!
lightbane
Arcane
- Joined
- Dec 27, 2008
- Messages
- 10,200
It's the end gentlemen
Update 13: Aftermath
As I was saying in the previous update, the war against Giygas is over, but the Chosen Ones had to pay the ultimate price…
http://rpgmusic.org/earthbound/the-heroes-return
Or not, fortunately the spirits/souls/whatever of the party managed to return to their bodies through time and space; Poo is the 1st one to talk:
”I must return to Dalaam, and use this experience for the good of my country. Codex, Black Cat, Jeff...Let me demonstrate a strange power before I go. I realized this power as a child. PSI Farewell! Now! I'll see you again someday!”
He vanishes with a puff of smoke and for some reason 3 gifts fall down, before we can check them Jeff takes the oportunity to talk:
”It was great to hang out with you guys. It really was. I'm glad that I had the chance to use some of the theories that I have been studying so hard. It's remarkable. If... Just maybe...Well, if you two get hitched someday, maybe I'll be the one that fixes your broken electronic appliances. I'm going to stay here for a while and see if I can learn more from Dr. Andonuts. I mean, from my dad...So it looks like this is good bye for now, my friends.”
.
How considerate, that’s supposing his dad doesn’t forget Jeff is his son (something I bet it will happen frequently). Immediately after this Black Cat asks us to escort her to her home, we accept because we’re true gentlemen; of course, before it we’ll take a walk around the world a last time, to see what changed; let’s start with the gifts of before, each one has a letter from Codex’s Mom, one from Polestar’s children and the last one written by Tony. The contents of each one are:
Tony’s letter: “Dear Jeff, Everything's really going great here. I wish I could have gone with you on your adventure, even just part of the way, but instead I'm sitting here, waiting for you in Winters. I want to see you again as soon as possible. I can't wait to see your cheerful face. I bet your glasses are dirty... If you come back, I'll clean them for you! Like I said, I'm waiting for you. Yours truly, Tony P.S: Don't show this letter to anyone!”
As always, totally not disturbing lulz.
Mom’s letter: “Dear Codex, how are you? Since you left home on your journey, things have changed around here. For example, I don't have as much laundry. Also, we don't seem to eat PIE as much as we used to. I heard that you defeated some universal evil character--what was it, Googi, or something like that? Well, that sounds really great! I want to hear all the details, so hurry home, okay? Tracy, King and I are waiting for you. Love, Mama)”
Kids’ letter: “Dear B.Cat, How are you doing? I'm fine. I fine too! So are me! Me also! Me okay. Please come and play with us again at the Polestar Preschool. Oh yeah, one more thing, bring us some presents ...if you have any. Sincerely, Your friends at the Polestar Preschool)”
How cute, those little selfish bastards, who would miss them? Now it’s time to see what Apple Kid and Andonuts think about our ultimate victory:
”However, your courage has produced a 1% chance that Giygas fails. I must try to come to a deeper understanding of this trait called "courage."
”A miracle that has only happened because of your great courage! ...Believe me, I went through a lifetime's worth of stress while you were gone... I just wish I could have come with you as a robot. I should have used the Phase Distorter. What a story that would have been... "Scientist and four kids save the world!"”
Nice to see how he contradicts himself within his own speech in less than 3 seconds; because we can, we should show Tony’s letter to Jeff, to see what he has to say:
That Tony has a heart of gold.”
”You know, I have been considering it, and I think you’re remaining here with your father you hate just to hide from your ‘boyfriend’”
'Bullshit! Why do you believe this?”
”Because you’re eating the letter to destroy any proff of its existence in a good show of denial.”
"NONSENSE!!! THERE NEVER WAS ANY LETTER!!!!! NOR TONY!!! I NEVER MET HIM!!! I NEVER WAS HIS FRIEND, HE NEVER ME TOUCHED ME AT THAT PLACE!! HE NEVER…"
We’ll leave before his endless tantrum becomes too annoying; unlike most jrpgs the ending is open and you can return to previous areas to see how the world changed with Gygas’ defeat, especially now that there aren’t enemies. Btw, one of the ending’s songs: http://rpgmusic.org/earthbound/because-i-love-you-2
If you return to the Lost Underworld, the Talking Stone will no longer have a reason to be, and he acknowledges that:
As a fun easter egg, the several “services” you could use from a telephone no longer works, each one have their own reasons, such as:
”Ha ha! I guess I don't need to tell you this any more! ... Next week will be your birthday, Codex. I'm trying very hard to be home for that big day! I'll be sure to get you a good present! I've been following your adventures closely, but I want to hear about them from you, in person. You sound a lot more... mature over the phone... Well, I'll see you at home, then. Bye!”
If you call Mom:
”That after traveling beyond time and space to defeat the Evil and becoming the most powerful psyker of Earth of nowadays I’m ready to return to being a regular boy; of course, I promise I’ll try to not abuse of my powers and not explode too many heads for fun mom, you can be sure with it.”
Mom: ”... Oh, thank heavens! You did it and you're safe! I'm not exactly sure what you did, but... Anyway, if you come home quick, I'll make some PIE. Get here as soon as you can. I can't wait to see your bright and shining face! Click! Beep-beep-beep...”
Now Escargo Express:
”Tracy doesn't work here any more. Yeah, she used to work here, part-time. Hunh? This is Codex? Tracy's big brother? I've heard about the great work you're doing. It's an honor to talk to you, sir! Oh, you're calling for a delivery? I'm very sorry. My wife is out on maternity leave, so I'm taking care of my other kid. I decided to take some time off from the delivery business. It's right next to the fridge! Put it into the microwave... ...that's it. ...Sorry about that. I'm a little busy right now, as you heard. I really would like to hear some of your stories. Zoicks! That was the dog's food! *Crash!* Hey, hey! Now look what you've done! ...I'm sorry. I have to go. Good bye.”
Mach Pizza:
” Our delivery men got tired and quit. So, we decided to close the shop. Thank you for consistently using us for all of your pizza needs. (Click!)”
Meh, what a whiny pussy, he complains as if he had to walk across bloodthirsty monster-infested swamps and back, just to deliver a pizza, oh wait…
The Stoic Club:
”Yeah, we're a new truck stop... we just opened... What's that? The Stoic Club?! That lame old place shut down ages ago! We totally remodeled the place! Now we've got loud music, great food, and really rowdy crowds... Listen, buddy, I'm too busy to talk to you right now! Just drop by anytime! You come you enjoy... I promise!”
Totally unsurprising, a wacky, “intellectual” club had to close just some days after its opening to be replaced by a standard truck stop (logically forbiding the entrance to minors, if you happen to teleport back to Summers). Another fun random thing is that now you can ask the Tenda for the Shyness book and return it to Onett’s library to get a small prize (a kiss from the bibliotecarian girl). Next stop: Dalaam, just because.
”I thought "Philosophy" was the study of stones. I now realize it's about studying all night... ...What? It's not?”
*facepalm*The retard guy tried hard but still fails, let’s watch how Poo is adjusting to his new status:
”But I'm impressed! You did so well for one who hasn't had much training.”
”To the contrary, it demonstrates you don’t need to butcher your mind and body in savage trainings made by sadistic teachers to adquire ultimate power. Also, how is it you’re poor when you’re sitting on a frigging golden trone?”
POWNED. The master has some stuff to tell too:
”Please enjoy the life ahead of you as a regular boy.”
A bit hypocrite to say this after NOT helping codex with a deus ex praying to defeat Gygas (and Porky demonstrated that Fate is not written on stone anyways, and everyone know that these sadistic old men are normally cowards that hide behind that shit of “fate” to have an excuse for procastionation and cowardice).
More random inanities for a last time:
” that you used the hint shop. It's been a while since I first saw you... This is my final day in business… Well, so long kid, No, no... Master Codex. See you again, if fate allows it.”
Ego +5. Before I forgot, I should comment that even after Gygas’ demise the Stalker still continues to show up:
(stalking meter: 27)
We can also return to Winters and pester Tony about the “lack of Jeff”:
” But I don't think so. Codex, did you tell him not to call me? ...No, I know you wouldn't do that. If you see Jeff, please, please ask him to call Tony. Thanks!”
LOL, maybe my joke was acurate after all; even the monkey-girl has something new to comment:
” (I know he's out saving the earth, but a marriage is also important.)”
Pff, women, always bitching; worse, the Pedo-grapher shows up here a last time:
(stalking meter: 28)
What about Jackie’s Café?
”Knock, knock!... (who's there?) Sawyer... (Sawyer who?) Sawyer doin' well, I'm fine, too! Baaa ha!... ...You don't think it's funny? I really thought this would be funny to you. Now my self confidence is TOTALLY shot! Back to therapy... ”
You fail so hard you fail at failing… Hey!! Isn’t that Porky’s father?
”Pokey left me, his own dad, and just disappeared. If you see him, tell him that he should take better care of his father. Don't tell my wife in Onett that I've been spending my time here. Hic! Wheeeee!”
It looks like Porky’s parents aren’t doing it well… What a shame (/sarcasm); Orange Kid has new lines as well:
”You had no idea of what I could do... *chortle* You sorry loser.”
No, you don’t, even if you pay him he ends being totally useless; next, we’re now in Twoson, we can leave Black Cat to her home...
“...There was something I wanted to tell you, but I've forgotten it. I'm sure I'll remember by the time I see you again. Well, I guess this is it... Good-bye. Uhhh... ...So long...See ya..Bye.”
”That’s all? Not even a last kiss of goodbye?? Aw, at least we live just a town away from my house, see ya!”
Black Cat’s father’s opinion about you changed by now:
”Perhaps you should continue dating Black Cat. Just treat her right... Come by and visit anytime. You can even sleep on the living room couch instead of the one in the den...”
That’s an improvement I suppose… However, you can instead ignore Black Cat’s petition and continue exploring the world:
”The best happiness comes from being free... you kids made me realize that.”
”Even if I become someone's steak dinner, I'll still respect him.)”
Uuh, ok? More random inanities…
”I bet you didn't meet anyone stronger
than I, did you? I know that you didn't... Waha ha!”
The police continues to be delusional as ever (and I noticed that only Onnet has a police force, none of the others had any kind of security force).
”After our battle I became serious, and have been working very hard. I've even been doing some training for... for... Well, a little bit of pro wrasslin'. It's the ring for me, baby... So you made it back alive. You must have many stories to tell. Let's get together for a drink, when you have a chance so I can hear your stories. ...I'm talking about drinking mineral water. I'm still under age, you know.”
Frank was underage how exactly??? Bah, nevermind.
”Here comes the spirit of the game designer again... Ruff! (You're finally almost to the end of the game. If you want to tell me your comments on this game, you may write to me using Nintendo's address on the box. Send your comments attention EarthBound, Ruffini the dog. Now, get ready for the ending! It's all that's left... enjoy it! Bow woow wow! Well, I told you some strange info again... I'll go back to being a normal dog now...) Woof!”
A last-minute shameless self-refence. Next one, Onnet’s cliché-Mayor:
”but there's no way it was you. Maybe you'd like to study my city management techniques so that you could become Mayor someday? Waha! Since I returned peace to the town of Onett I was re-elected Mayor. Are you here to celebrate? Thanks a lot. From this day forward... until the day I die... *sniff* I will dedicate my life *sniff* to peace in Onett... *boo hoo* In the next election, please give a speech supporting Mayor Pirkle. Hee hee hee.”
Continues to be corrupt and fatass, as expected. Another thing of interest is that you can buy a house near Twoson for 7500 $, now that we have too much money is a good time to get it:
”It has an ocean view, and the sunsets are beautiful. Folks should have a place of their own. Do you want to buy it? Thank you. It's all yours now. Take some time and relax.”
Great, we have been swindled, never trust salesmen; at least there’s an odd book in the wrecked drawer:
”My Secret Life, chapter three." (Story from the previous chapter.) I was neither a murder suspect, nor a target for an international spy organization. But I drove a car down the Jersey Turnpike at 80 mph. ...A police officer pulled me over and asked for my driver's license. He said I was going 20 mph over the speed limit. I instantly pointed to my wife and said "I'm in a hurry, my wife is in labor." Fortunately, my wife actually had a big stomach. I hoped he'd let me go with this excuse. "Oh, since it's an emergency. I'll lead you to the hospital with my police car," he said. "No, it's not necessary." "Why not?" asked the officer. "Uh... well..." "Let's get going," said the officer... "No, no! We can't! This baby is a demon child!"
Wut? No idea; meanwhile, the Photoman gives his final strike!
(stalking meter: 29)
Photoman: “That’s it, I’ve completed the album, thanks for your collaboration.”
”Now I have you where I wanted, motherfucker.”
Photoman: “What???”
”Are you dense? Are you retarded? What do you think who the hell I am? I’m the goddamn Codex, of course I knew of your pedophile tendencies, I was just waiting for a place where I could get rid of you without witnesses. Now, die!!! PSI FLASH OMEGA!!!”
Photoman: “NOO!!! THE LIIIIIGHT… IS… TOO MUCH.. I’M MELTING…” *melts*
“Wow, wasn’t that a bit extreme Codex?”
Enough with the shameless references of my own, time to finish this game, by visiting Porky’s house:
” My son isn't at home now. He's walking around somewhere. My husband is also gone. Oh yes, this is Mr. Prettyman. He always has great advice. He's a real gentleman, he is. You'll be happy that you met him.”
” I heard that your family is in debt. Ms. Minch told me about it. Well, live and learn. You just have to keep plugging away.”
ROFL, so she was a true bitch after all. Time to visit Codex’s family, starting for the sister:
” You've got a lot of catching up to do with your schoolwork, *Hyork*! If you have any problems with your assignments, I'll help you. Don't get freaked out. Did Escargo Express, my old company, help you? I've saved some money, so we'll do the lunch thing sometime. You also got a new girlfriend? Your adventure must had been pretty good!”
” I'd like to hear all of your stories, but I don't want to annoy you as soon as you walk through the door. I want to have a chance to get to know your little girlfriend. It's good to meet you, Black Cat. After all your chats with people you met on your adventure are finally over, please come back here. The photo-man brought an album by. I'd like to look at it with you...”
So that was how Mom could knew what was Codex doing all the time. Before we can wonder more about the implications, the telephone rings.
”It’s me, the tough business man! You remember--from the Deep Darkness. I never got the money back that you borrowed, but, lucky you, I bumped into your dad and he paid the debt for you. I just wanted to let you know. Gotta go now--busy, busy, busy! Slam. Beeeeep!”
Okay, that’s all, now, the credits: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ReF1R08qksQ
And that’s all, the game is done, finito, finished, it’s over. Thank you for your attention, and sorry that I’m not at the level of let’s say Andyman Messiah, at least I managed to do it to the end, I hope you had fun as much as me when I played thi (even if you later lurk this topic in a nearly stalking fashion), Earthbound demonstrates not all jrpgs are boring, shit banal cliché-emo-fests… Uh? There’s more stuff after the credits:
The story will continue on Mother 3!!! … Maybe, if I do another lp (which surely I’ll do, if there’s another update of this one it will be for random stuff and trivia that I couldn’t fit in the other updates), once more, thank for your attention!
Update 13: Aftermath
As I was saying in the previous update, the war against Giygas is over, but the Chosen Ones had to pay the ultimate price…
http://rpgmusic.org/earthbound/the-heroes-return
Or not, fortunately the spirits/souls/whatever of the party managed to return to their bodies through time and space; Poo is the 1st one to talk:
He vanishes with a puff of smoke and for some reason 3 gifts fall down, before we can check them Jeff takes the oportunity to talk:
.
How considerate, that’s supposing his dad doesn’t forget Jeff is his son (something I bet it will happen frequently). Immediately after this Black Cat asks us to escort her to her home, we accept because we’re true gentlemen; of course, before it we’ll take a walk around the world a last time, to see what changed; let’s start with the gifts of before, each one has a letter from Codex’s Mom, one from Polestar’s children and the last one written by Tony. The contents of each one are:
Tony’s letter: “Dear Jeff, Everything's really going great here. I wish I could have gone with you on your adventure, even just part of the way, but instead I'm sitting here, waiting for you in Winters. I want to see you again as soon as possible. I can't wait to see your cheerful face. I bet your glasses are dirty... If you come back, I'll clean them for you! Like I said, I'm waiting for you. Yours truly, Tony P.S: Don't show this letter to anyone!”
As always, totally not disturbing lulz.
Mom’s letter: “Dear Codex, how are you? Since you left home on your journey, things have changed around here. For example, I don't have as much laundry. Also, we don't seem to eat PIE as much as we used to. I heard that you defeated some universal evil character--what was it, Googi, or something like that? Well, that sounds really great! I want to hear all the details, so hurry home, okay? Tracy, King and I are waiting for you. Love, Mama)”
Kids’ letter: “Dear B.Cat, How are you doing? I'm fine. I fine too! So are me! Me also! Me okay. Please come and play with us again at the Polestar Preschool. Oh yeah, one more thing, bring us some presents ...if you have any. Sincerely, Your friends at the Polestar Preschool)”
How cute, those little selfish bastards, who would miss them? Now it’s time to see what Apple Kid and Andonuts think about our ultimate victory:
Nice to see how he contradicts himself within his own speech in less than 3 seconds; because we can, we should show Tony’s letter to Jeff, to see what he has to say:
”You know, I have been considering it, and I think you’re remaining here with your father you hate just to hide from your ‘boyfriend’”
”Because you’re eating the letter to destroy any proff of its existence in a good show of denial.”
We’ll leave before his endless tantrum becomes too annoying; unlike most jrpgs the ending is open and you can return to previous areas to see how the world changed with Gygas’ defeat, especially now that there aren’t enemies. Btw, one of the ending’s songs: http://rpgmusic.org/earthbound/because-i-love-you-2
If you return to the Lost Underworld, the Talking Stone will no longer have a reason to be, and he acknowledges that:
As a fun easter egg, the several “services” you could use from a telephone no longer works, each one have their own reasons, such as:
If you call Mom:
”That after traveling beyond time and space to defeat the Evil and becoming the most powerful psyker of Earth of nowadays I’m ready to return to being a regular boy; of course, I promise I’ll try to not abuse of my powers and not explode too many heads for fun mom, you can be sure with it.”
Mom: ”... Oh, thank heavens! You did it and you're safe! I'm not exactly sure what you did, but... Anyway, if you come home quick, I'll make some PIE. Get here as soon as you can. I can't wait to see your bright and shining face! Click! Beep-beep-beep...”
Now Escargo Express:
Mach Pizza:
Meh, what a whiny pussy, he complains as if he had to walk across bloodthirsty monster-infested swamps and back, just to deliver a pizza, oh wait…
The Stoic Club:
Totally unsurprising, a wacky, “intellectual” club had to close just some days after its opening to be replaced by a standard truck stop (logically forbiding the entrance to minors, if you happen to teleport back to Summers). Another fun random thing is that now you can ask the Tenda for the Shyness book and return it to Onett’s library to get a small prize (a kiss from the bibliotecarian girl). Next stop: Dalaam, just because.
*facepalm*The retard guy tried hard but still fails, let’s watch how Poo is adjusting to his new status:
”To the contrary, it demonstrates you don’t need to butcher your mind and body in savage trainings made by sadistic teachers to adquire ultimate power. Also, how is it you’re poor when you’re sitting on a frigging golden trone?”
POWNED. The master has some stuff to tell too:
A bit hypocrite to say this after NOT helping codex with a deus ex praying to defeat Gygas (and Porky demonstrated that Fate is not written on stone anyways, and everyone know that these sadistic old men are normally cowards that hide behind that shit of “fate” to have an excuse for procastionation and cowardice).
More random inanities for a last time:
Ego +5. Before I forgot, I should comment that even after Gygas’ demise the Stalker still continues to show up:
We can also return to Winters and pester Tony about the “lack of Jeff”:
LOL, maybe my joke was acurate after all; even the monkey-girl has something new to comment:
Pff, women, always bitching; worse, the Pedo-grapher shows up here a last time:
What about Jackie’s Café?
You fail so hard you fail at failing… Hey!! Isn’t that Porky’s father?
It looks like Porky’s parents aren’t doing it well… What a shame (/sarcasm); Orange Kid has new lines as well:
No, you don’t, even if you pay him he ends being totally useless; next, we’re now in Twoson, we can leave Black Cat to her home...
”That’s all? Not even a last kiss of goodbye?? Aw, at least we live just a town away from my house, see ya!”
Black Cat’s father’s opinion about you changed by now:
That’s an improvement I suppose… However, you can instead ignore Black Cat’s petition and continue exploring the world:
Uuh, ok? More random inanities…
than I, did you? I know that you didn't... Waha ha!”
The police continues to be delusional as ever (and I noticed that only Onnet has a police force, none of the others had any kind of security force).
Frank was underage how exactly??? Bah, nevermind.
A last-minute shameless self-refence. Next one, Onnet’s cliché-Mayor:
Continues to be corrupt and fatass, as expected. Another thing of interest is that you can buy a house near Twoson for 7500 $, now that we have too much money is a good time to get it:
Great, we have been swindled, never trust salesmen; at least there’s an odd book in the wrecked drawer:
Wut? No idea; meanwhile, the Photoman gives his final strike!
Photoman: “That’s it, I’ve completed the album, thanks for your collaboration.”
”Now I have you where I wanted, motherfucker.”
Photoman: “What???”
”Are you dense? Are you retarded? What do you think who the hell I am? I’m the goddamn Codex, of course I knew of your pedophile tendencies, I was just waiting for a place where I could get rid of you without witnesses. Now, die!!! PSI FLASH OMEGA!!!”
Photoman: “NOO!!! THE LIIIIIGHT… IS… TOO MUCH.. I’M MELTING…” *melts*
Enough with the shameless references of my own, time to finish this game, by visiting Porky’s house:
ROFL, so she was a true bitch after all. Time to visit Codex’s family, starting for the sister:
So that was how Mom could knew what was Codex doing all the time. Before we can wonder more about the implications, the telephone rings.
Okay, that’s all, now, the credits: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ReF1R08qksQ
And that’s all, the game is done, finito, finished, it’s over. Thank you for your attention, and sorry that I’m not at the level of let’s say Andyman Messiah, at least I managed to do it to the end, I hope you had fun as much as me when I played thi (even if you later lurk this topic in a nearly stalking fashion), Earthbound demonstrates not all jrpgs are boring, shit banal cliché-emo-fests… Uh? There’s more stuff after the credits:
The story will continue on Mother 3!!! … Maybe, if I do another lp (which surely I’ll do, if there’s another update of this one it will be for random stuff and trivia that I couldn’t fit in the other updates), once more, thank for your attention!
Reject_666_6
Arcane
MOAR
Mother 3!!! Even though I have no idea if it's any good or not since everybody completely ignores 1 and 3 when talking about the series as if Earthbound were the only one in it.
Mother 3!!! Even though I have no idea if it's any good or not since everybody completely ignores 1 and 3 when talking about the series as if Earthbound were the only one in it.
Andyman Messiah
Mr. Ed-ucated
Great thread, and I hope you do Mother 3 next even though it's not nearly as good. I paid little to no attention to that game, thought it was extremely boring, so here's hoping you make it interesting. 
lightbane
Arcane
- Joined
- Dec 27, 2008
- Messages
- 10,200
Andyman Messiah said:Great thread, and I hope you do Mother 3 next even though it's not nearly as good. I paid little to no attention to that game, thought it was extremely boring, so here's hoping you make it interesting.
You know, I find incredible you had the patience and (lack of) sanity to do a ff7 lp, and yet you found mother 3 boring, it's true that (at first sight) is more "serious" than Earthbound and that the plot doesn't start until chapter 4/8, but it deserves a try (even if it's for the music, but doesn't matter if you don't want you can just read the lp I'll start... eventually).
Andyman Messiah
Mr. Ed-ucated
I firmly believe the only way you can play Final Fantasy is by making fun of it constantly, and if you can't make fun of it you can definitely make shit up and make fun of that instead. I'm thinking, soonish, I'm going to lp the only installment in the series I actually kinda like. We'll see how that goes.lightbane said:Andyman Messiah said:Great thread, and I hope you do Mother 3 next even though it's not nearly as good. I paid little to no attention to that game, thought it was extremely boring, so here's hoping you make it interesting.
You know, I find incredible you had the patience and (lack of) sanity to do a ff7 lp, and yet you found mother 3 boring, it's true that (at first sight) is more "serious" than Earthbound and that the plot doesn't start until chapter 4/8, but it deserves a try (even if it's for the music, but doesn't matter if you don't want you can just read the lp I'll start... eventually).
I've been slowly trying to get through Mother 3 ever since the translation patch was released. I'm getting there but I dunno, there's something about the game I just find incredibly dull. Problem is I can't really point out what that is. It's like I play a little, enjoy it a lot, because I do recognize it as a good game, but then I find something that immediately puts me off. It's weird.
lightbane
Arcane
- Joined
- Dec 27, 2008
- Messages
- 10,200
Update 14: Some random trivia you probably never knew
Even when the game is over, there are lots of stuff I can still comment about it. For example:
• Two enemies in the game share the names of famous David Bowie songs: "Starman" (the trademark Starmen enemies appear throughout the game) and "Diamond Dogs" (Diamond Dog is one of the major bosses in the game). The veiny machine from his "Ashes to Ashes" video also resembles the final boss of the game, Giygas (a link here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HyMm4rJemtI, I think Gyigas was less disturbing).
• The Starmen characters appear to be based on the alien from the classic sci-fi film the Day the Earth Stood Still (the original one, not the horrible remake with the even more horrible expressionless monster that’s Keanu Reeves).
• During the battle with the Slimy Little Pile (one of Master Belch's minions) one can hear a sample of the Super Mario Bros. theme.
Despite I could post all of the references one by one, I think this video will be quicker and more enlightening for the rest of musical references: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0n4cs7Z7mDY
Next, I should talk about WHY THE HELL IS SO UNKNOWN OUTSIDE OF JAPAN!!!???? Well, because Nintenfags considered that Earthbound Zero/Mother 1 was too “old” to be of interest for the americans, they started a curious marketing campaing to attract attention with Earthbound’s first appearance in America (the game sadly never reached Europe), more info here: http://earthboundcentral.com/2009/01/ea ... -campaign/
Unfortunately, Nintendo forgot that sheeple are stupid and are only interested in boobs, blood, extreme, explosions, shiny graphics and AGGRESSIVE ads (and sometimes several of these at the same time); because the retard-community don’t know what “reverse psychology” is, they considered the game to be a shit (and Earthbound’s graphics wasn’t much compared to other SNES titles, thus it’s understandable that only the 2nd title of the series is known except for the fans). A shame because the game included in every unit an official guide with an unique and bizarre style, see these random pages if you want more proof:
Now, another random thing: You know Dr. Andonuts likes donuts/doughnuts, but not many people know where Dr. Andonuts actually gets his name.
The Japanese are fond of azuki red bean paste, generally called an or anko in Japanese. They use it a lot in sweets, often as filling for pastries. If you’ve ever heard of the famous Anpanman animated character, his head is filled with an. This an is also used in donuts, which are called “an-donuts”.
What about the anti-copy protection, would you be interested in more information? http://starmen.net/mother2/gameinfo/antipiracy/ This page explains it all (by the way Starmen.net is probably the largest and most loyal Earthbound community).
The next thing to explain is about Gyigas, where did this abomination come from? Well, it’s one of the most famous stuff about Earthbound, it seems that in Itoi’s childhood he saw a film that traumatized him due the violence of the scenes, this is the (infamous) scene that inspired him to create Gyigas: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g75RSbIc ... r_embedded
I don’t see what’s the deal here, and I believed japanese were too depraved to be traumatized for so “minor” stuff, perhaps the boy had too much imagination.
I explained about Earthbound’s marketing campain, but now it’s time to explain why the game has not been reedited in, let’s say the Virtual Console (one of the few things of Wii that’s not faggotry/boring casual shit), unfortunately, the reply is the tons of legal issues that this game has, because it has tons of references to real-world songs and stuff, the game provoked a collective butthurt to all the lawyers and other vampires interested in stealing as much money as possible from every source, here’s an interesting article: http://earthboundcentral.com/2009/02/ea ... al-issues/
So the probability of seeing an Earthbound’s remake/re-edition is less than zero (unless let’s say a big company like EA/Evil Empire is interested in adquiring the rights of the series and update the games for a more streamlined and “cool” adaption for the people/ retards of nowadays *shudder*).
Speaking of remakes, here’s a 3d version of Magicant: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pMPytsvI8Zo (however I believe that no matter how hard you try 2d art will be hardly surpassed by the 3d, specially now that a great design means “put lots of shiny stuff so that the sheeple doesn’t notice the rest of the horrible, antiquated-looking graphics and lack of color/variation”).
Now a pic of Earthbound’s world:
http://earthboundcentral.com/2009/11/ul ... font-pack/
The complete soundtrack: http://starmen.net/mother2/music/EarthB ... rchive.zip (you can find an even more “complete” one that includes remixes and fansongs in certain *cough* places of interest for pirates*cough*)
And the (english) lyrics for Eight Melodies (both the Mother 1 version and the Smiles and Tears from Earthbound, if you care, if not skip directly to the next section, and I’m not crazy enough to post links for singing adaptations):
Mother 1:
Take a melody,
Simple as can be
Give it some words and
Sweet harmony
Raise your voices,
All day long our love grows strong now
Sing a melody of love
Oh, love
Love is the power
Love is the glory
Love is the beauty
And the joy of spring
Love is the magic
Love is the story
Love is the melody
We all can sing
MOTHER 2:
I haven’t lived even half as long as adults have,
but I do have plenty of memories in my backpack
My favorite baseball cap, my sneakers with worn-out heels
Deep in my pocket is my worn-down guitar pick
There were some things sad enough to make tears come out,
but you were always by my side
I thought of the two of us as just friends the whole time
I probably loved you without ever realizing it
We walked while we laughed, played, and got hurt
I realized it as we took shortcuts and went in circles:
that even if you can’t believe in everyone
you can’t cast aside a heart you do believe in
You made me stronger just being who you are
Like a gentle wind blowing and swaying the grass
you always walked with a smile
Yes, the two who shared smiles and tears one after the other…..
(I miss you)
…..are now far apart…..
And lastly but not least, some random fanart:
And as an extra, some theories about what is Earthbound, choose what you like more:
A: It’s an urban-style jrpg that parodies and mocks most of the jrpg clichés, compare these with what you saw in the lp: http://project-apollo.net/text/rpg.html
B: It’s a glorified “tale” about the productor’s childhood (including japanese randomness and aliens, and that the fact that the main character’s father is rarely present is based on him as well).
C: One of the game’s themes is the loss of innocence (ask Gygas in doubt).
That’s all, I’m done with this lp, if you’re bored/too jaded and believe no jrpg can surprise you/ belive all japanese stuff is shit, Earthbound can demonstrate you’re wrong (what only remains is to move this lp to the completed section). You can be satisfied you know about a cult-game that has inspired many (even Silent Hill, not hard to believe in fact).
Even when the game is over, there are lots of stuff I can still comment about it. For example:
• Two enemies in the game share the names of famous David Bowie songs: "Starman" (the trademark Starmen enemies appear throughout the game) and "Diamond Dogs" (Diamond Dog is one of the major bosses in the game). The veiny machine from his "Ashes to Ashes" video also resembles the final boss of the game, Giygas (a link here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HyMm4rJemtI, I think Gyigas was less disturbing).
• The Starmen characters appear to be based on the alien from the classic sci-fi film the Day the Earth Stood Still (the original one, not the horrible remake with the even more horrible expressionless monster that’s Keanu Reeves).
• During the battle with the Slimy Little Pile (one of Master Belch's minions) one can hear a sample of the Super Mario Bros. theme.
Despite I could post all of the references one by one, I think this video will be quicker and more enlightening for the rest of musical references: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0n4cs7Z7mDY
Next, I should talk about WHY THE HELL IS SO UNKNOWN OUTSIDE OF JAPAN!!!???? Well, because Nintenfags considered that Earthbound Zero/Mother 1 was too “old” to be of interest for the americans, they started a curious marketing campaing to attract attention with Earthbound’s first appearance in America (the game sadly never reached Europe), more info here: http://earthboundcentral.com/2009/01/ea ... -campaign/
Unfortunately, Nintendo forgot that sheeple are stupid and are only interested in boobs, blood, extreme, explosions, shiny graphics and AGGRESSIVE ads (and sometimes several of these at the same time); because the retard-community don’t know what “reverse psychology” is, they considered the game to be a shit (and Earthbound’s graphics wasn’t much compared to other SNES titles, thus it’s understandable that only the 2nd title of the series is known except for the fans). A shame because the game included in every unit an official guide with an unique and bizarre style, see these random pages if you want more proof:
Now, another random thing: You know Dr. Andonuts likes donuts/doughnuts, but not many people know where Dr. Andonuts actually gets his name.
The Japanese are fond of azuki red bean paste, generally called an or anko in Japanese. They use it a lot in sweets, often as filling for pastries. If you’ve ever heard of the famous Anpanman animated character, his head is filled with an. This an is also used in donuts, which are called “an-donuts”.
What about the anti-copy protection, would you be interested in more information? http://starmen.net/mother2/gameinfo/antipiracy/ This page explains it all (by the way Starmen.net is probably the largest and most loyal Earthbound community).
The next thing to explain is about Gyigas, where did this abomination come from? Well, it’s one of the most famous stuff about Earthbound, it seems that in Itoi’s childhood he saw a film that traumatized him due the violence of the scenes, this is the (infamous) scene that inspired him to create Gyigas: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g75RSbIc ... r_embedded
I don’t see what’s the deal here, and I believed japanese were too depraved to be traumatized for so “minor” stuff, perhaps the boy had too much imagination.
I explained about Earthbound’s marketing campain, but now it’s time to explain why the game has not been reedited in, let’s say the Virtual Console (one of the few things of Wii that’s not faggotry/boring casual shit), unfortunately, the reply is the tons of legal issues that this game has, because it has tons of references to real-world songs and stuff, the game provoked a collective butthurt to all the lawyers and other vampires interested in stealing as much money as possible from every source, here’s an interesting article: http://earthboundcentral.com/2009/02/ea ... al-issues/
So the probability of seeing an Earthbound’s remake/re-edition is less than zero (unless let’s say a big company like EA/Evil Empire is interested in adquiring the rights of the series and update the games for a more streamlined and “cool” adaption for the people/ retards of nowadays *shudder*).
Speaking of remakes, here’s a 3d version of Magicant: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pMPytsvI8Zo (however I believe that no matter how hard you try 2d art will be hardly surpassed by the 3d, specially now that a great design means “put lots of shiny stuff so that the sheeple doesn’t notice the rest of the horrible, antiquated-looking graphics and lack of color/variation”).
Now a pic of Earthbound’s world:
http://earthboundcentral.com/2009/11/ul ... font-pack/
The complete soundtrack: http://starmen.net/mother2/music/EarthB ... rchive.zip (you can find an even more “complete” one that includes remixes and fansongs in certain *cough* places of interest for pirates*cough*)
And the (english) lyrics for Eight Melodies (both the Mother 1 version and the Smiles and Tears from Earthbound, if you care, if not skip directly to the next section, and I’m not crazy enough to post links for singing adaptations):
Mother 1:
Take a melody,
Simple as can be
Give it some words and
Sweet harmony
Raise your voices,
All day long our love grows strong now
Sing a melody of love
Oh, love
Love is the power
Love is the glory
Love is the beauty
And the joy of spring
Love is the magic
Love is the story
Love is the melody
We all can sing
MOTHER 2:
I haven’t lived even half as long as adults have,
but I do have plenty of memories in my backpack
My favorite baseball cap, my sneakers with worn-out heels
Deep in my pocket is my worn-down guitar pick
There were some things sad enough to make tears come out,
but you were always by my side
I thought of the two of us as just friends the whole time
I probably loved you without ever realizing it
We walked while we laughed, played, and got hurt
I realized it as we took shortcuts and went in circles:
that even if you can’t believe in everyone
you can’t cast aside a heart you do believe in
You made me stronger just being who you are
Like a gentle wind blowing and swaying the grass
you always walked with a smile
Yes, the two who shared smiles and tears one after the other…..
(I miss you)
…..are now far apart…..
And lastly but not least, some random fanart:
And as an extra, some theories about what is Earthbound, choose what you like more:
A: It’s an urban-style jrpg that parodies and mocks most of the jrpg clichés, compare these with what you saw in the lp: http://project-apollo.net/text/rpg.html
B: It’s a glorified “tale” about the productor’s childhood (including japanese randomness and aliens, and that the fact that the main character’s father is rarely present is based on him as well).
C: One of the game’s themes is the loss of innocence (ask Gygas in doubt).
That’s all, I’m done with this lp, if you’re bored/too jaded and believe no jrpg can surprise you/ belive all japanese stuff is shit, Earthbound can demonstrate you’re wrong (what only remains is to move this lp to the completed section). You can be satisfied you know about a cult-game that has inspired many (even Silent Hill, not hard to believe in fact).
Wow, this was a great LP. 
(Sorry for necro-ing.
)
(Sorry for necro-ing.
)
Heh, too bad I don't know when the next Arcanum patch is coming out.
lightbane
Arcane
- Joined
- Dec 27, 2008
- Messages
- 10,200
Crooked Bee said:Wow, this was a great LP.
(Sorry for necro-ing.
Someone posted on this thread!!! Thanks, check the Mother 3 if you want to know about the sequel (and final Mother game) spekkio said:Too bad that fucker declined recently...
Sorry, it's not my fault the Codex lacks patience...
Yay, 15487 views. You're pretty popular, lightbane. 
I'll definitely take a look through your Mother 3 LP. That game is weiiiird.
Edited.
I'll definitely take a look through your Mother 3 LP. That game is weiiiird.
Edited.
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