Let's Play Daiteikoku - Legend of the Galactic Hoes [NSFW]

[Luzur]

Haba, you sonofabitch. You stole my fucking LP.

you do the nazi route with blond Hitler-chan and the endless legions of the Space SS

 

[WhiskeyWolf]

Haba, you sonofabitch. You stole my fucking LP.

you do the nazi route with blond Hitler-chan and the endless legions of the Space SS

Oh fuck you, the hardest one of them all (not counting the CORE route).

BTW, Haba which route?

 

[Luzur]

Haba, you sonofabitch. You stole my fucking LP.

you do the nazi route with blond Hitler-chan and the endless legions of the Space SS

Oh fuck you, the hardest one of them all (not counting the CORE route).

BTW, Haba which route?

truly someone of your level of LP experience can do it? dont wanna let Haba give you the finger like that.

 

[WhiskeyWolf]

Haba, you sonofabitch. You stole my fucking LP.

you do the nazi route with blond Hitler-chan and the endless legions of the Space SS

Oh fuck you, the hardest one of them all (not counting the CORE route).

BTW, Haba which route?

truly someone of your level of LP experience can do it? dont wanna let Haba give you the finger like that.

Yeah, I'm so experienced I have done only two LP's and one of them was never finished. Besides, in my opinion that route is lame as fuck.

 

[laclongquan]

Sengoku Rance own them all. That's how superior it is.

 

[Mrowak]

Sengoku Rance own them all. That's how superior it is.

True. With one exception, with heroe like Rance somehow the most tasteless shit looked genuinely funny. Add to that simple, yet addictive gameplay varied characters with interesting abilities, some neat C&C and you have a perfect game.

I tried playing BigBangAge, but man it wasn't even half as good, and the ideas in there made me genuinely ashamed that I reached for it in the first place.

 

[Luzur]

Sengoku Rance own them all. That's how superior it is.

that is true.

 

[Haba]

Update 2: The First Blood (and sperm)

Yeah! Finally we're done with the inane banter and we'll get into the actual gameplay!

Good old strategic map...

Oh no FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

The Chun Empire, Royal Palace​

In its long history, the Chun Empire had often been engaged in armed conflict with its neighbour, the Empire of Japan.​

At Manchuria, they were able to cripple the Japanese Navy and to shift the balance of power into their favor.
However, despite all this...​

[Emperor Shuu] Kheheheh...​

This is the young Emperor Shuu. He ascended the throne when the old emperor died of sickness.​

[Emperor Shuu] Hahaha! I can't stop laughing! Puny Japan!​

He sat on his throne giggling while holding an expensive looking golden cup filled with sake.​

[Emperor Shuu] Haha... fighting against the Empire of Chun is futile. I guess they learned that by now.​

[Emperor Shuu] Because of our Empire, neither the UHOS nor Gamerica dare to lay a hand on the Asian Star Systems.​

The young emperor handed his cup to the woman standing next to him in silence.​

It was Rinfa, one of his commanders who was holding the bottle of sake.​

She refills his cup with sake without saying a word.​

[Emperor Shuu] And the Empire of Japan is too afraid of us to dare an attack.​

Emperor Shuu's laugh echoed through the hall of the palace.​

[Emperor Shuu] Send Empress Mikado a kiss from me, so she can get used to being my concubine. Hahaha!​

[Rinfa] The Empire of Japan... I heard they have a new Navy Minister.​

[Emperor Shuu] Lets deal with him as we did before.​

[Rinfa] Should we dispatch a female spy then?​

[Emperor Shuu] Haha. Yes, and don't forget to take a picture, so we can blackmail him.​

[Ranfa] Tee-hee-hee.​

[Emperor Shuu] ....​

[Ranfa] No man can resist Hanitora's thighs. She will wrap him around her finger in no time.​

The woman in the blue chinese dress is Ranfa, another commander of Shuu.​

[Emperor Shuu] Kuh...​

Emperor Shuu didn't seem amused.​

Splash!​

He threw the contents of his cup of sake right at Ranfa, who screamed in shock.​

[Ranfa] Eeeeek!​

[Rinfa] Ah...​

Wham!​

When Rinfa was about to help Ranfa, Shuu threw the empty cup right at Rinfa.​

[Rinfa] Ow...!​

The cup hit Rinfa's head and made a dull sound.​

[Rinfa] Ahh...​

Blood ran down from the wound on Rinfa's head.​

[Emperor Shuu] Scum has no right to talk over me. Don't open your smelly mouth!​

[Rinfa] ...​

[Ranfa] ...it's not smelly...​

Emperor Shuu stares angrily at Ranfa, who had dared to talk back at him.​

Scared by his glance, Ranfa trembled.​

[Emperor Shuu] Tch... you are worthless, woman. Your mere presence makes me feel sick.​

Fed up with it all, he rose from his throne.​

[Emperor Shuu] I will be in my Seraglio.​

"Shut up and start working is what that translates to."​

A large number of servants were accompanying him, and the two girls who were left behind let out a sigh.​

[Rinfa] Are you ok...?​

[Ranfa] Seems like it. Let's treat your injury, Rinfa.​

With a forced smile, Ranfa carefully treated the wound on Rinfa's head.​

[Rinfa] Ow...​

[Ranfa] Does it hurt?​

[Rinfa] It... does...​

[Ranfa] Looks awful... He hit you pretty hard.​

[Rinfa] ...I know, but our Empire needs him. There is no other way...​

He is the symbol of our Empire... He treats us like slaves, but we can't just walk out of here and leave. The Emperor's spies are everywhere, monitoring everyone. There was no escape. But they knew that the UHOS and Gamerica weren't afraid of the Chun Empire, that they were not intimidated by it's navy in the least.​

The Chun Empire was just a large country. Their Navy was nowhere as strong as the Emperor wanted to believe it was, and it couldn't defend against an attack from the big powers. After the old Emperor's death, it'd only gotten worse. Because the Chun Empire is a central hub connecting many star systems, it is of high value.​

Gamerica and the UHOS tried to win the favor of Chun by making huge diplomatic efforts. Young Emperor Shuu became a tyrant that profited of these efforts, being spoiled rotten by diplomatic presents and offers. There are 3000 women alone in his Seraglio, the one he just went to. While his country falls apart, he amuses himself in there. Shuu doesnt concern himself with the poverty in his country, he lives in luxury. The young Emperor only cares about himself, and treats others like his slaves.​

That is what the Chun Empire has become. It is merely a puppet nation of Gamerica and the UHOS. Emperor Shuu gets everything he asks for and in turn he allows the other countries to do as they please.​

[Ranfa] Well well well... let's get to work then.​

[Rinfa] Yeah, let's... For our ideal...​

[Ranfa] Heh... Ah well. For our own ideals.​

[Rinfa] Yeah...​

Both of them faked a smile, pretending to understand what the other one meant.​

No. More. Dialogue. FFS!

OK! So, the game is split in three phases. The first, strategy phase, is the one in which you actually do the most of the... strategic decisions.

Every turn starts with the intelligence raport. It gives you an overview on your star systems outputs, warning on possible enemy activity, uprisings or galactic disasters.

This is the strategic map. As you can see, Japanese Empire currently controls only star system. Neutral star systems are represented by split doughnuts, hostile ones with red swirling thingies (The Empire of Chun).

"Japan"'s star lanes make it very strategic location. It acts as a central hub through which you can access all the major players of the galaxy: The Soviets (UHOS, The United Human Organization of Soviet), The Kwanzanians (The Republic of Gamerica), the British Snobs (The Empire of Aeris).

At this stage, our actions are quite limited. For now, lets have a look at our admirals.

The Admirals screen shows a listing of all the admirals we have available, with a brief summary on the combined firepower of their fleet their state.

In addition to the four admirals Tougou hand-picked, we also start with three "generic" admirals.

If you click on an individual admiral, you get to see their fleet composition. As you can see from the picture, each admiral can have max four slots worth of ships his or her fleet. Ships very from battleships to cruisers and destroyers. In general, the fleet composition is only limited by the admirals command skill (Destroyers cost 45 command points, cruisers 90 and battleships 180).

Ships have three kinds of stats: hitpoints, radar strength and four different types of damage. All of the values are then combined for the entire fleet in the combat calculations. Ships can also have traits that provide special effects for the entire fleet.

Now, let's have a closer look at our admirals.

Tougou comes with some distinct advantages. He has very high command skill, which allows him to field two battleships. From his ship slots, you can see that there is additional bonus attached to it. In Tougou's case, the ship in the first slot gets +30% to its base stats and the other three ships get +10%. This bonus applies to all stats (hitpoints, radar, damage).

Tougou also comes with a skill (Notice the "Gtac" text):

Great Tactican: Friendly fleets in the same battlefield gain +10% to attack

Matsuri doesn't have anything special at the moment, except the ship in the first slot getting a whopping 60% bonus to radar stat. She comes with a radar ship in the slot. Radar ships do not have any weapons, they only bring in additional hitpoints and radar value to the fleet. The importance of the radar strength will be demonstrated soon.

Keiko's fleet does not get damage bonuses, but the extra 10% of hitpoints makes her a very good tank.

She also comes with an extremely useful skill:

Education: Friendly fleets in the same battlefield gain +40% EXP.

The XP bonus makes her one of those admirals you want to field whenever possible. Once admiral has enough XP, they will level up. Level gains provide additional growth to the bonuses they provide to their fleet. The growth rate per admiral is a hidden stat that can vary from 2% to 10%. In Keiko's case the growth rate is 4%, so by the time she levels up to the upper limit of level 10, she'll have +50% HP to her ships instead of the current 10%.

Raizo is more geared towards a specific use. His two first slots provide bonus to cannon type damage. His low command points combined with the negative HP modifiers on his last two slots make him very fragile in combat. Do not let his relatively low stats fool you though, he can become very powerful later in the game.

Raizo comes with a skill of his own:

Roaring engines: Can move twice on the region map per turn

Ordinarily admirals can only move max two star systems per turn. Raizo's skill makes it possible for him to move up to four star systems away in a single turn.

As you can see from Yamamoto's stats, his fleet bonuses are very specific. The first three slots all provide a bonus to a specific damage type. This combined with Yamamoto's high command points makes him extremely dangerous admiral early in the game. His third slot has no bonus at all.

He also comes with another useful skill:

Peacekeeper: Twice as effective at bringing peace to a region. Does not stack.

Besides the background story and name, the three generic commanders are all the same. -40% to all stats makes them squishy as hell. They still have their uses.

OK, back to the strategic map.

We see the empire of cunts has three systems under their control. There is only one way to conquer them, they need to be done in order. I could try peace negotiations or building a stronger navy... but fuck that, I'll just just kill them all.

Before ordering an attack with all my navies with ships, I do two small adjustments. I move one laser destroyer from both Tougou and Yamamoto to Matsuri. This means that Tougou will still do 345 points of laser damage with 276 radar strength, and Matsuri will do 90(+10%) laser damage. I also construct a laser cruiser into Yamamoto's first slot - 90 laser damage (+plus 20% bonus). More than enough to wipe out smaller fleets, even without the additional laser destroyer.

That'll do... Now, time to end phase and go to...

...tactics phase. In this phase, the combat occurs.

...combat, and combat related inane banter, that is.

The Bridge of Rinfa's Warship--​

[Rinfa] ...​

Rinfa watched the Japanese Navy approach on her screen with a serious expression.​

[Rinfa] They haven't learned their lesson… Time to deal with those fools.​

[Rinfa] Yes... comrade Sorge.​

She looked at Sorge with admiration in her eyes, with great respect.​

[Rinfa] Because of you -the UHOS- we have the weaponry we need to fight. Thank you.​

[Big Sorge] Thank us by winning this battle.​

[Rinfa] Yes, sir! In the name of "sharism".​

She put her hand on her chest and felt her heart beating for her ideal.​

[Rinfa] Because if we share this country, if we share our struggle, the people of Chun can lead better lives... 『…that is the meaning of sharism. If we share truly everything, then all of us will become equal. 』 ...a wonderful idea. Thank you for opening my eyes...​

[Big Sorge] I didn't open your eyes. Our leader, Katherine did.​

[Rinfa] You are both wonderful people.​

Rinfa's eyes were shining.​

[Big Sorge] Your people would be a lot better off if your Emperor shared that view.​

[Rinfa] No, it was his foolishness that opened my eyes to you. That's why it's fine the way it is.​

[Big Sorge] Still, we need to get rid of him.​

[Rinfa] Yes... I will assist you as well as I can, comrade Sorge. I've already begun to gather our allies in the Chun Empire in secret. Soon the revolution can begin... I am ready, comrade. Ready to fight for a better Chun Empire.​

[Big Sorge] Thats the spirit, comrade Rinfa.​

[Rinfa] T-thank you!​

[Big Sorge] Now use that spirit to crush Japan.​

[Rinfa] Yes!​

The Bridge of Higuchi's Warship―​

[Rear Guard Admiral] Haaa...​

[Admiral Higuchi] They put us on the frontline...​

[Rear Guard Admiral] It can't be helped, Admiral Higuchi. We...​

[Admiral Higuchi] Y-yes, sir!​

[Rear Guard Admiral] Hahaha, look at that! Nice picture, Admiral Higuchi!​

[Chun Agent] Indeed, it's a good shot. Look at the detail. It shows the full extent of what you did.​

[Admiral Higuchi] Enough!　Enough!​

[Rear Guard Admiral] How embarrassing! That picture can't be shown to the public!​

[Chun Agent] I agree on that. So save yourself this disgrace, and fight for the Chun Empire!​

[Admiral Higuchi] U-Understood!​

[Rear Guard Admiral] I guess... we have no choice.​

[Chun Agent] No, you don't. However, if you destroy the entire Japanese Navy, I might think about giving you this picture. Ahaha!​

Phew... So, finally - the battle screen.

Simple enough. My available troops on the lower left hand side corner, enemy forces on the right and on the very top right corner we have the main planet of the system I am trying to take over.

My goal is simple - destroy enough enemy forces to clear a way through for the Minister Yamashita (Rikori).

Enemy groups have different star rankings, by destroying or damaging them I can turn the tide of the combat. To secure landfall, I need to earn at least 80% on the "Complexion of the War" -meter (8 stars). Failure to do so... Well, the landing force perishes and it is game over.

In this first invasion battle, we just need to wipe out Higuchi and Rinfa. The second battle group can be left alone, but destroying them gives additional bonus of 1000 resources, so...

The tricky part in the combat is that you cannot (usually) relocate fleets after the combat starts. So you need to carefully calculate you troop placement so that you inflict just enough damage to secure those 8 stars.

You can see that in this invasion we have three attack phases, due to the fact that the neighbouring region is at full peace. Otherwise we'd have to win in two rounds of combat.


Combat is rather simple. You can allocate max four fleets in a battlegroup.

Once I am done with troop placements, I end my turn and then the first combat turn starts.

Keiko & Raizo v.s. the transport fleet first.

Tanaka's Flagship, the Bridge―​

[Raizo] Nice to meet y'all！​

「KAーーーBOOM！」​

[Raizo] Haha! Let me introduce ya to my cannons! SAY HELLO!​

「KAーーーBOOOM！」​

[Raizo] What is this...? I think you just shit ya pants. Commit suicide to save ya face! My cannons are about to punch holes into every single part of your ship.​

「KAーーーーBLAM！」​

[Raizo] Ha... this is ya last chance to run. Better make good use of it. Heh…Tougou was right... This is lots of fun.​

...O.K.

Now, I get to decide who to target. As you can see, the transport fleet has absolutely no chance.

They are dead before they even get to return fire.

Now the more interesting part of the battle.

The combat in Daitekoku follows a certain pattern. Different weapon types fire in certain order:
- 1st aircraft
- 2nd lasers
- 3rd missiles
- 4th cannons

The order in which defending and attacking fleets fire is determined by the radar strength. Theory being that those who can detect the enemy first get to also fire first.

Now in practice, you strive to optimize your attack order so that enemy fleets will be destroyed before they even get to fire. So destroying first the aircraft carriers, then laser ships, missiles and finally the cannons.

This is the reason why I shuffled those destroyers around earlier - I wanted to make sure that I can wipe out the enemy completely before they even get a chance to return fire.

...and that's it. Flawless victory.

Now that the defences have been wiped out, I can order the landing troops to take over the planet...

...and we've won.

After the combat is done, we get a summary screen showing the results.

You'll notice that Keiko's battlegroup got more EXP, this is due to her skill - it only applies to those fighting in the same group as her.

After taking over a star system, you get to decide which constructions you want to construct there. x2 resource income would come in handy, but I'll pick the Fish Market. They are otherwise useless, but you get a free ship every time you build one. They are quite useful in the early game.

Next: butthurt ensues.

The Chun Empire, the Imperial Palace――​

[Emperor Shuu] Shit...! I can't believe we lost to those Japanese weaklings!​

[Ranfa] My Emperor, you should make your escape quickly, it's dangerous here.​

[Emperor Shuu] ...That's right. The Chun Empire is a large nation. Losing a little territory won't harm us. It will be a strategic retreat. I shall withdraw to Nanjing then. Make all preparations!​

[Ranfa] Yes.​

The Chun Empire, Shuu's flagship―​

[Emperor Shuu] Damn this… how can they even dare to oppose our mighty empire...​

[Ranfa] That's right. They need to be punished.​

[Emperor Shuu] Heh. ...where the hell is Rinfa?​

[Ranfa] She is missing.​

[Emperor Shuu] W-what...?​

[Ranfa] Maybe the Japanese captured her...​

[Emperor Shuu] ...What a disgrace... I hope they execute her for failing the Chun Empire.​

[Ranfa] I...I agree.​

[Ranfa] He has no right to say these things about Rinfa. She would always put her life on the line for our empire. But she was behaving strange... She even dyed her clothes red... Compared to her devotion to Chun, I'm worthless. Even if we were rivals, I always respected her... That's why I shall lay down a red flower on her grave every year to honor her sacrifice. Oh my, I shouldn't assume she is dead. Maybe she survived.​

[Emperor Shuu] Huh?​

[Ranfa] I-its nothing. My Emperor! We could ask Gamerica for help! Ga・me・ri・ca☆​

[Emperor Shuu] I suppose we could do that...​

[Ranfa] Of course! Leave the negotiations to me! With their assistance, this will be an easy victory!​

[Emperor Shuu] An easy victory...​

[Ranfa] Yes!​

[Emperor Shuu] Fu... Fufufu...​

[Ranfa] Fufu...​

[Emperor Shuu] Fufufu... they won't see this coming. Ahahahaha!​

[Ranfa] Yes!​

[Big Sorge] I failed―​

Walking through the shady alleys, Sorge tried to sneak past the Japanese troops that occupied Beijing now.​

[Big Sorge] I shouldn't have underestimated Japan. They are a formidable foe. I sure hope for them they don't underestimate us either. We won't let them snatch victory from our hands again―​

Sorge silently disappeared into the shadows.​

The fish market delivered a "Sakana" unit.​

[Raizo] Yo... it's nice that they delivered this, but why to a shipdock?​

[Keiko] Maybe it didn't fit elsewhere? Look at the size of that fish.​

[Raizo] Whoa! WHOOOOA! That thing is almost as big as ma battleship!​

[Keiko] Fufufu, I guess thats why it's used in the military. Oh, the miracles of nature!​

[Raizo] Uh... it looks really tough. How did they capture it?​

[Keiko] They probably raised it until it reached this size. I'm glad it's on our side.​

[Raizo] ...man, why don't we cook that sucker and eat it? Ya know what I mean: grill it. Too bad that no oven's large enough to fit dat thing...​

[Keiko] What a bummer... we'd get into trouble if we ate it anyway.​

[Raizo] Might be too big to eat even...​

[Tougou] Hahaha, I totally agree. In the Navy is where it belongs! We can reinforce our fleet with this Sakana unit right away.​

[Raizo] Fo' reals? Are ya serious?​

[Tougou] Of course. Isn't it obvious? Keiko, tell our friend here more about the Sakana units...​

[Keiko] Sure. I heard they were using them during the First Space War.​

[Raizo] Uh... didn't know that…​

Tougou and Nagumo were playing a prank on him, of course they weren't used as warships.​

[Tougou] Please take good care of our new friend here.​

[Keiko] Roger that. A Sakana can be very helpful, we just need to use it right.​

[Raizo] Uh... that slimy, smelly thing...​

[Tougou] Be more sensitive. Our large friend has a very soft, and sensible heart.​

[Raizo] Wha-!? W-what is wrong with ya?​

[Tougou] If someone said this to you... wouldn't you feel hurt too?​

[Raizo] T-that's! Stop saying weird things! So we have to suck up to it? Fine, man!​

[Tougou] There we go. Like a good, obedient child.​

[Raizo] Argh... DAMN YOU--!​

And that's a wrap. After all the combat turns are resolved, we get to pick one event. The events are probably the toughest decision you have to make, since you can only choose one per turn. Recruiting more admirals, (b)romancing them into greater effectivity, making alliances, espionage... A lot of things can happen in events phase.

Hmmm... I wonder what that pink heart means...? Maybe I'll try that one!

[Tougou] Ah...​

Tougou enjoyed the view as he stepped outside the car and streched himself. Beijing was now under the rule of Japan. The small town he visited looked beautiful. People inside a restaurant were enjoying their meals and talking to each other.​

[Tougou] Ah... it's so peaceful.​

*DOINK*​

[Tougou] Whoa!​

[Tougou] No worries, cute lady. I'm honored to bump into someone as lovely as you.​

[Hanitora] Oh no.. I'm not that cute... But you are very good-looking. I really like your beard.​

[Tougou] Hahaha. Does it look manly?​

[Hanitora] Y-yes... very much so.​

Hanitora stared at Tougou with big eyes, and bit her lips playfully. Then, she grabbed his jacket and pulled her body closer to his.​

[Hanitora] I like bumping into you...​

[Tougou] Ha. You are pretty bold.​

[Hanitora] Is that a bad thing?​

[Tougou] Not at all. I feel honored that such a cutie throws herself at me.​

[Hanitora] Fufufu...​

Tougou and Hanitora flirted with each other. Then, she reached for his crotch.​

[Hanitora] Uhn...!​

[Hanitora] Uhhhhn...!​

Hanitora moaned when Tougou began to thrust deeper into her. So deep that her honey was all over his dick, from the tip to the end.​

[Hanitora] Kyaa...uhhh...!​

A moan escaped her soft lips as his penis completely entered her tight hole once more.​

Tougou was amazed at how wet she already was and enjoyed every second of it.​

His hard cock pushed the soft lips of her pussy aside to thrust into a warm and moist cave of lust which wrapped itself​

Ahhh! x20
Kyaa! x15
Harder! x10
Faster! x5
I'm cumming! x5
I'm cumming again! x2

Then the usual basking in the afterglow.

[Hanitora] *sigh*​

Hanitora hangs her tiny body, clinging on Tougou's arm​

[Hanitora] That was amazing...​

Hanitora's cheeks are still glowing and her eyes are moist.​

[Tougou] I'll get embarassed if you praise me so much.​

[Hanitora] No, it's true... My legs are still trembling... I can still barely walk.​

[Tougou] Well, it wasn't bad but I'll gladly satisfy you even more...​

[Hanitora] No, no... Your technique was more than satisfactory... I'm happy.​

Hanitora had a slight smile on her face.​

[Tougou] Hahaha...​

Lauging, Tougou kissed the forehead of Hanitora and gently stroke her hair.​

[Tougou] Well then, thank you for seeing me off, you lovely little thing.​

[Hanitora] Oh, this is nothing. Just thinking what I'm going to do next...​

[Tougou] Hmm...?​

[Hanitora] Oh, nothing.​

Hanitora leaves Togou's arms and walks away.​

[Hanitora] Bye bye!​

[Tougou] Oh... see ya!​

The two of them waved each other goodbye.​

[Hanitora] Heh... hi-hi-hi ☆​

The young Emperor is surrounded by beautiful, young girls who are taking care of him. This food is delicious…but boring. He took the plate he was eating from and threw it onto the floor. And then...​

...when the plate shattered on the marble floor, it was immediately cleaned up by a young girl. A new plate was brought to him, with a different meal on it. This is the Seraglio. In here everyone has to serve Emperor Shuu as he demands.​

Only very young girls are trained to become his servants in the Seraglio.​

[Emperor Shuu] He... hehehe…​

Shuu looks around and chuckles.​

[Emperor Shuu] I love young girls...​

[Danny Elfman] And they don't ask me questions!​

[Emperor Shuu] But once they grow into women like Rinfa or Ranfa, I lose interest.​

He licked his lips, which tasted like the sake he'd just finished drinking.​

[Emperor Shuu] I have to conquer Japan quickly... Or Mikado will grow old. If she loses
her youth, she is worthless to me.​

He imagined Mikado as his servant, with a broad smile on his face.​

[Danny Elfman] Uh oh, I'm in trouble...​

 

[Mrowak]

So far so good. Looks interesting, though teh sekz scenez :/

And what was that blackmail with the photograph about again? Are they blackmailing an admiral of their own fleet to fight for their country?

Edit: Oh, wait - that's the turncoat from the first update. I thought that name didn't sound right. The hell should they feel like blackmailing someone like him into betraying his country he already betrayed? Also, I would like to see such a spineless twat like Higuchi convincing his crew to turn against their fatherland.

 

[RK47]

They're going to blackmail Tougou...cause the redhair girl is an agent.

 

[Mrowak]

Yeah, I did notice. But blackmail into what? Woe is me - they have pictures with me having sex with some random girl. Truly there's no other way for me than to betray my comrades and country and join the enemy.

Besides it will likely end up like the whole deal with Suzume did in SR. Unless the game throws a game over off the bat. That would be pretty and

 

[WhiskeyWolf]

Besides it will likely end up like the whole deal with Suzume did in SR.

Right the first time.

 

[abnaxus]

Call me when you're invading Spain.

 

[Haba]

Call me when you're invading Spain.

If I ever do, then I've fucked up very badly.

 

[Erebus]

Because the Chun Empire is a central hub connecting many star systems, it is of high value.

Judging from the map, that's pretty much the opposite of reality.


Blackmailing our hero with sex pictures simply doesn't sound like something that's going to work...

 

[Brother None]

Yeah, I did notice. But blackmail into what? Woe is me - they have pictures with me having sex with some random girl.

"A random girl" is fine. The fact that she looks like she's, what, 12? Not so much. That shit's pretty creepy, to be honest. Sex scene bleh.

Looks fun otherwise, though, keep it coming.

 

[PorkaMorka]

I tried playing BigBangAge, but man it wasn't even half as good, and the ideas in there made me genuinely ashamed that I reached for it in the first place.

Yeah, I felt the same way. And my god, the amount of text you had to click through to get to the miserable scraps of gameplay... very disappointing.

 

[Haba]

Update 3: 88
...in which a heinous plot is uncovered, Haba sits on his thumbs and Codex discovers their one true love.

Turn 2 baby! It's back into the galaxy map and glorious conquest and warfare, right...?

FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

[Tougou] I'm home! How are you doing, Maki?​

[Maki] Welcome home, daddy. I'm fine, I missed you a lot!​

With a huge smile on her face and carrying a stuffed toy, Maki runs towards Tougou.​

[Tougou] What's this? You have a new stuffed toy... Who gave you that?​

[Maki] While you were away, a nice woman came here and gave me this toy, so I have a friend while you're gone.​

[Tougou] Really? Please don't take presents from strangers next time.​

[Maki] Did you miss me much?​

[Tougou] Of course I did!​

[Maki] Hehehe, good. After all I have to share you with everyone, you're very popular.​

[Tougou] Is having a popular dad a bad thing?​

[Maki] Noooope. You're a great dad, and that must be why you are so popular, right?​

[Tougou] Hahaha, probably.​

[Maki] I love you so much, daddy. Can I become as popular as you ?​

[Tougou] Popularity isn't always a good thing. Everyone bugs you, you know...​

[Maki] Hehehe.​

[Tougou] Alright, I'm going to make lunch. Can I count on your help?​

[Maki] Haa, of course I'll help.​

Maki took a tiny apron hanging in the kitchen and put it on.​

[Tougou] Alright, princess. What would you like to eat?​

[Maki] Hmmm, hmmm... A nice stew would be great.​

[Tougou] Stew it is. Then let me show you how to make a special Navy Minister Stew!​

[Maki] Uhn.​

[Tougou] First of all, the white sauce. Slowly mix milk, butter and flour in a pan, on a low flame...​

[Maki] Uhuh...​

Both of them had a good time together while making dinner.​

...
..
.​

Its midnight. Tougou just put Maki to bed and began drinking some sake to relax.​

[Tougou] So... now I'm the Navy Minister, commander of the Naval Forces. I haven't seen Akiyama acting so scared in a long time. To be honest, I never wanted such an important position...​

He typed something on his computer, and opened a file. Intel from Tougous scouts now appeared on the screen, updated in real time.​

[Tougou] ...we have to be on guard, we live in very turbulent times. The large powers have their eyes on Japan, one mistake and we will be erased from the star map.​

...this is the unpleasant truth. Mikado appointed him as the new Navy Minister, and he didnt have the best starting point for his career.​

[Tougou] ...thats how it is. My decisions will decide the fate of the Japanese Empire. Mikado-chan is a kind ruler, I will not disappoint her. I cannot fail...​

Tougou looked at Maki who was sound asleep.​

[Tougou] ...Japan needs to last at least a hundred years more, for Maki's sake.​

[Maki] Dad...please... Please... try your best...​

[Tougou] ...Hah, I will try my best. For you. Because dad loves you.​

[Take 2] Yahzaa! Turn 2, baby!

Intel report for turn 2. We got some resource income and some tech income from Japan. Beijing didn't give any resources since the public order isn't at "peace". And The Empire of Cunt is planning a counter-attack.

The public order can be seen from the pie chart. The stars underneath the region's name show how many admirals are in the star system.

So what next... To share a little about my strategic plans, I am on a very, very tight schedule. I could rather easily blitz through the Chunt provinces in three turns... But for certain reasons, I will instead fiddle with my diddle for one turn, doing absolutely nothing!

O.K., I lied. I did optimize my fleets a little by moving the fish ship to Keiko's fleet. As you can see from the stats, it is pretty much inferior version of a laser cruiser. But hey, costs nothing, so...

I'll pick the warship option just to save some resources.

[Tougou] Hmm…​

[Chief Engineer] Minister Tougou. Does something worry you about our maintenance...?​

[Tougou] No, but that destroyer over there...​

[Chief Engineer] Haha, that old thing? It's one of the old warships used by the Chun Empire.​

[Tougou] Ah...​

[Chief Engineer] We planned to dispose of it because it is a last generation warship...​

[Tougou] It doesn't look too shabby. Please transfer it to my fleet.​

[Chief Engineer] Wha- are you serious?​

[Tougou] Ha ha. At this point in time, any vessel that can somehow move will make a difference.​

[Chief Engineer] But sir... this destroyer is a very old model, it's outdated by today's standards. Are you sure?​

[Tougou] ...is it really that bad?​

[Chief Engineer] Yes. The hull looks like it could fall apart at any moment.​

[Tougou] That's terrible... to think that Chun puts their pilots in those ships.​

[Chief Engineer] They do it because its cheap. Buying last generation warships off other countries saves them money.​

[Tougou] ...then their ships aren't any better. See if you can fix it somehow. I want that warship in top shape.​

[Chief Engineer] Yes, sir. My staff will try their best.​

[Tougou] One more thing. Please make sure the escape boat works as intended too.​

[Chief Engineer] Yes, it will be our top priority.​

I guess it is because of those god damn escape boats that no admiral ever dies in combat... A shame that the previous navy minister didn't have them installed, heh heh...

It's crappy, but any extra damage and hitpoints is welcome.

Since we didn't do anything, I wonder what the other countries are up to...?

The European Star System―​

A great, old Empire―― The 3rd Reich was known for its powerful and technologically advanced military. However, the defeat it suffered 22 years ago in the First Space War left its mark. The country was largely destroyed after the war and the economy was at an all-time low. It couldn't have been worse. People were waiting for a saviour in the dark...​

And then, she showed up――​

Stomp! Stomp! Stomp! Stomp!​

「Company―, stop !」​

Stomp...​

「Sieg Heil!
　Heil Adolf!」​

[Crowd] 「Sieg Heil！　Heil Adolf! (x3)」​

Two women advance through the rows, showered with admiration and praise. One of the girls walks with incredible grace― Her golden hair shimmers in the sun. A mysterious dark haired beauty was walking just a few steps behind her.
Like an empress and her advisor. The small leader was walking proudly through the rows of her lined up soldiers. In the European Star System there was no one who didn't know her name.​

She was the supreme commander of the 3rd Reich of Dokutsu, Retia Adolf. She appeared out of nowhere 2 years ago. With her came the Fancism movement, a group that violently defends their idol...​

People needed an idol to look up to in these dark times...​

Thus, she got elected. However, she wasn't just elected because she looked incredibly beautiful... Retia was also very intelligent, more than your ordinary leader. A natural genius.​

The country went through a complete reform, and advanced far in the field of technology. Unemployment was a thing of the past, as huge public workgroups were created. People of every social standing were very impressed with what she did... New hope grew in the hearts of the people...​

The infrastructure was restored, the economy thrived. Retia Adolf even managed to impress her worst critics with the way she solved problem after problem. She had won 3 prizes for her achievements―― In the categories of physics, chemistry and peace. For all that she managed to do, her government was the first one to receive a 100% rating in the European Evaluations. The genius who revived a broken country as the 3rd Reich of Dokutsu...​

The ever faithful Imperial Army watched her pass, and a crowd awaited her arrival on the other side...​

[Crowd] Uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!​

[Crowd] Uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!​

[Retia] ...​

[Crowd] Waaaaaaaaa...​

[Retia] ...​

The crowd was talking and muttering...​

[Retia] ...​

Waiting for her to speak...​

[Retia] ...​

[Retia] Alright... I shall begin my speech.​

The large, noisy crowd went completely silent.​

[Retia] Dear people, I am Retia Jarlfrank Adolf of the 3rd Reich of Dokutsu. Like you, I haven't forgotten our past, but I'm here to talk about our future. Like our country, I was also weak and fragile in my childhood. Poor and without hope...​

[Retia] The Empires of Aeris and O'France treated us like garbage, we were broken, defeated.​

[Retia] No one bothered to help us, they left us alone in our suffering. They exploited our broken country feeding on its misery like hyenas. This vexation caused death and despair among our people !​

[Retia] My father... my mother... My grandfather... my grandmother... even my little younger sister perished...​

[Retia] They stepped on our dignity! They spit on us, mistreated us! Its unforgivable... Absolutely unforgiveable!​

[Retia] However, our country revived. Dokutsu rose from the ashes and regained its former glory. There is one more thing left to regain! Our pride!​

[Retia] Justice needs to be done for what they did to us! Vengeance will be ours! Europe will be ours! The entire galaxy will be ours!​

[Retia] I, Retia Jarlfrank Adolf, leader of the 3rd Reich of Dokutsu will establish a nation to last a thousand years! Everyone! Have faith in me! And join me in this struggle！​

[Retia] Well, uhm... my speech is over!​

Awe is reflected on people's faces...​

The moment she stepped down the stage, thunderous applause sounded. The audience began to shower her with words of praise.​

[Crowd] Uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! 「Sieg Heil!　Heil Adolf! Sieg Heil!　Heil Adolf!」​

[Crowd] 「Glory to the 3rd Reich!　Glory to Adolf! Glory! Glory!」​

The other woman waves her black hair a little while waiting for Retia Adolf to descend from the platform.​

She is Retia Adolf's right hand and Propaganda Minister, Grecia Goebbels.​

Always at the side of her leader whenever she appears in public, Grecia Goebbels is the 2nd most important person in the 3rd Reich.​

Grecia Goebbels waved her long hair while going up the platform with a light step.​

[Goebbels] Hello everyone♪ It's me, Grecia Goebbels speaking. Its nice to hear that all of you seem to be very energetic today, arent you?​

[Goebbels] I am also energetic. I even ate 5 sausages this morning. Please do not worry, it won't make me look fat. A good breakfast is important to give you energy for the day♪​

The audience didn't know how to react to this, after the emotional speech of Retia Adolf. They just politely nodded. Some raised their eyebrows in confusion while others checked their watches.​

[Goebbels] Come on, people! You, stop yawning over there, it's not polite to do that... Anyways, I shall now announce the plans of the 3rd Reich. Wouldn't our leader be mad if you didn't pay attention? So listen up!​

She put both arms onto the desk and leaned forward with a creepy smile.​

[Goebbels] All of you... You surely heard our leader talk about our nation, didn't you? She said...​

[Goebbels] 「Vengeance will be ours! Europe will be ours!　The galaxy will be ours!」​

[Goebbels] Do any of you understand this? Do you? Anyone?​

Her eyes shift left and right.​

[Goebbels] Heehee♪ Well then... Maybe I should explain it? So... our goal is the complete conquest of the galaxy!​

[Goebbels] Not just the Empires of Aeris and O'France, Not just the European Star System. The galaxy! We have to press on until we rule all of it, and for that we have to go to war. Surely the other empires will mock us if we go to war. 「Dokutsu is a bad dictatorship, the cradle of all evil.」​

[Goebbels] However, we have to press on without feeling guilt or remorse. Hasn't Retia Adolf led us gloriously? She has! And she will keep doing so! That's why we don't need to listen to those foolish nations...​

Finally the speech of Grecia Goebbels gained momentum.​

[Goebbels] We will disregard the treaty of Versaille, no more reparations... The 3rd Reich of Dokutsu... It's alive again, twice as powerful! Our leader shall guide us and our powerful Empire to glory!​

[Goebbels] Our beautiful and intelligent leader, the biggest genius in the universe! We cannot lose this war! We will not lose this war! Let us fight relentlessly!​

Grecia Goebbel's eyes turned fiery with passion.​

[Goebbels] Of course, I too will fight for the fate of our nation! What about you? Hehehe... silly question. The people of this empire fight for what they believe in, right? Right! Until the bitter end!​

[Crowd] Uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!​

[Goebbels] Hehehehe…♪​

The sound of the cheering masses went right through her bones.​

[Goebbels] Everyone! We have nothing to fear! Those who stand against us do! LETS GO as one! LETS GOD for a new millenium! Sieg Heil!　Heil Adolf!​

[Crowd] 「Sieg Heil!　Heil Adolf! (x2)​

[Crowd] Uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!​

Thus...​

The 3rd Reich had begun its conquest of Europe, starting the war.​

88! 88! 88!

...oh

So that was Dokutsu, one of the superpowers in the game. Now... what about the Empire of Chunt?

[Hanitora] Ha, nya, nya-n ☆​

[Hanitora] Look, look darling! I did it!​

[Emperor Shuu] Hahahahaha! Absolutely shameless photo!​

[Hanitora] Isn't it? Private parts are clearly visible ☆​

[Emperor Shuu] How boring that you caught the Japanese so easily... Shame really.​

[Hanitora] This Japanese Admiral is no match for us​

[Hanitora] It was fairly easy to pull off... He is quite used to sleeping around.​

[Emperor Shuu] It's over then?​

[Hanitora] Yes, I'm sure. I've sent a blackmailing email with the photo attached, as usual.​

[Hanitora] It said "Do as we tell you, if you don't want this photo spread around"​

[Emperor Shuu] O.K.​

[Hanitora] It made Higuchi surrender to us. Won't the same happen here?​

[Hanitora] Ah, Emperor - he replied.​

[Emperor Shuu] Write an immediate reply.​

[Hanitora] Yes.​

...​

[Hanitora] Eh!​

[Emperor Shuu] What?​

[Hanitora] Uh... eeh... He wrote "Do as you please".​

[Emperor Shuu] Wha?​

[Hanitora] Like I said... Do as you like...​

[Emperor Shuu] Does this Tougou fellow have no shame or what?​

[Hanitora] Mmm... Maybe he is just bluffing?​

[Emperor Shuu] We might've bitten a bit too much to swallow with this man...​

[Hanitora] Mm... It might be true.​

[Emperor Shuu] Uhgh... Kuh. Very well, show him the worst we can do Hanitora.​

[Hanitora] Yes. I will contact our spy and pass the message on ☆​

Ehrm... Now that was a glorious idea... I'm sure that tactic will work against the greatest tail chaser in the entire galaxy. What about just sending in a female assassin...?

The dastardly Empire of Chunt tries to counter-attack.

Yeah, that was not a smart move...

One admiral against my entire roster.

Pew pew!

First shot destroyed the entire enemy fleet, and that is enough to win the defence. When defending, you need to gain 8 stars just like when attacking.

Free EXP. Keiko levels up and her HP bonuses go up as well.

And that's it for the eventful turn 2!

 

[Crooked Bee]

 

[Brother None]

Holy shit. I don't even.

 

[WhiskeyWolf]

Holy shit. I don't even.

More like "Space Nazis, FUCK YEAH!"

 

[laclongquan]

Well, if that loli blonde get a fake Adolf mustache it will be even more hilarious.

 

[Vaarna_Aarne]

Holy shit. I don't even.

More like "Space Nazis, FUCK YEAH!"

Von Manstein also looks hilarious (he's the guy who seems to have escaped from Fist of the North Star).

 

[RK47]

I want to be a Na- no..wait I'm not a loli. Fuck this.

 

[Lindblum]

I'm surprised you actually took the time to count all the moanings.