Tacticular Cancer: We'll have your balls

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In Progress Let's Play Civilization IV: Caveman 2 Cosmos, A Zionist Tale

Discussion in 'Codex Playground' started by Cassidy, Jan 3, 2012.

  1. Cassidy Arcane

    Cassidy
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    Click here and disable ads!
    [​IMG]

    Index
    1. Rise of the Chosen People (right here)
    2. The Neanderthal Age
    3. The Overfaith
    -----

    REBOOT

    1. Ancestors of the Masters of the World
    2. Growing Tensions and Strife
    3. The Kotel of Jerusalem shall Stand
    4. Thousand Years of Goyim Slaughter
    5. Chocolate Jew the Legendary Commander
    6. Indiana Tranny and the Ark of the Covenant
    7. Fall of England
    8. Carthage shall burn! Part 1: Return of the Chocolate Jew
    9. Carthaginian Holocaust
    ==========​

    To keep my tradition of running two simultaneous LPs no matter what, because for every somewhat serious LP I need a not so serious one to keep the balance and primarily because although good and far more interesting than vanilla this mod is very crash-ridden and thus by showing its new features I'll be saving you from the pain of enduring its crashes, I decided to give it a try. I never really played this mod throughly thus this will be a partly blind LP.

    [​IMG]

    Unfortunately the mod instability is such that I decided to run the game on a tiny map. Don't worry, I'll try to avoid conflict(IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO TOTALLY AVOID COMBAT IN CIVILIZATION IV) as a means of reaching the more interesting victories(which you'll discover in very late updates) because stone age conquest isn't the most interesting thing to show and I did set water cover lower to have more workable tiles and more expansion for all player.

    As the title hints, I'll be playing with the Jews, led by their most infamous Zionist Agent. As for Boudica of the Celts as an AI player, I need a redhead Civ leader to make the mandatory tranny jokes later.

    [​IMG]

    Let me point out some of the new features I enabled and game settings:

    Multiple Production: If there are enough shields in one turn to build multiples of a give unit more than one will be built

    Multiple Research: if research is queued extra research points after one research is finished won't be lost.

    Surround and Destroy: Enemy units who have nowhere to retreat because all adjacent tiles they could move to are occupied by your forces will take a hefty combat penalty. Same applies to your forces although I doubt the AI knows it.

    Advanced Diplomacy: Extra diplomacy options like the establishment of embassies(as in CIvilization III) and the trading of units.

    Increasing Difficulty: The difficulty level will be raised one level every 50 turns until Deity.

    Great Commanders: Great Generals that give combat bonuses to units in their stack but don't participate directly of combat. They are slow to gain experience however as they need it for the same bonuses.

    Culturally Linked Starts: Supposedly make all civs start in landscapes similar to their historical origins in Earth... supposedly.

    Advanced Economy: Allows you to control inflation along other things.

    Larger Cities: Cities with a high enough culture will be able to work on a radius of 3 tiles.

    Realistic Corporations: All corporations are controlled by the AI to simulate the fact they were mostly started by private individuals, all you can do is to either give them subsidies or profit from them through taxes.

    Religion Decay: In cities with multiple religions one of them may simply vanish if not reinforced with missionaries.

    Advanced Espionage: Adds new espionage missions, obviously.

    Guilds: Add guilds, which are similar to late game corporations but have somewhat different mechanics.

    Modern Corporations: Add new corporation types enabled through modern age techs (Computing, etc).

    Advanced Nukes: Expand the categories of nukes and also allegedly makes them far more devastating than vanilla. I doubt that such will be on the same level of AWESOME of Alpha Centauri Planet Busters, though.


    =========

    [​IMG]
    Rise of the Chosen People

    Hymn of Absolute Deceit
    (Is there a more fittingly named music?)
    "And the LORD God said, Behold, the man is become as one of us, to know good and evil: and now, lest he put forth his hand, and take also of the tree of life, and eat, and live for ever: Therefore the LORD God sent him forth from the garden of Eden, to till the ground from whence he was taken.So he drove out the man; and he placed at the east of the garden of Eden Cherubims, and a flaming sword which turned every way, to keep the way of the tree of life."
    [​IMG]
    Over fourteen thousand years ago, a small tribe founded by Abraham and led by a masked man built a small settlement in what would eventually become the holy city of Jerusalem. Due to the powers of jewgold, they already had a considerable stockpile of wealth even before existing as a civilization. Surrounded by wilderness and still so ignorant and innocent they didn't even know how to speak and instead used grunts and gestures to communicate, the proto-Jews began thus their saga of over 10,000 years of world domination from the shadows. Even a their dawn, the Elders of Zion already existed, rumored to have come from the very biblical Garden of Eden.​
    Slowly, through the centuries, their society evolved into something more complex under the invisible hand of the Elders.​
    [​IMG]
    Leading to the eventual planting of the seeds of a parasitical lifestyle as they ended having to scavenge the remnants of other beings and the work of other animals for sustenance. But they were still brute, primitive and innocent. And in a certain way, crude and manboon. But nevertheless bold and adventurous, these primitive Jews explored as far as they could as part of their own nomadic ways.​
    [​IMG]
    First contact was established with a foreign tribe, and thus began a beautiful friendship that will last through the millennia. They just met for the first time and the even more primitive than they still are in the 21st century ragheads already consider the Jews their worst enemies! Coincidence? I think not. Thus, better to be alert and have the slings ready against such a potential Goliath. Nevertheless, the Elders plot on means to ensure the arabs will be forever busy infighting to never pose a threat to Israel. One of them suggested spreading female baboons disguised as humans to their tribe to ensure the interbreeding of a truly inferior and bestial being unable to pose a threat to the Jews, but the plan was deemed too complicated and they had no means to disguise a baboon as a human.​
    [​IMG]
    The elder and wisest of the tribe began to seemingly exert a very covert influence over how their tiny group evolved. In time they learned to craft primitive tools from stone, and were rapidly evolving through the last millennia, although their societal core remained unchanged, and their primitiveness, although smaller now, very noticeable yet.​
    The elders of Zion were however worried on how they perceived the way of most of their people thinking to be still primitive. Looking to the east they witnessed even cruder peoples, but they hoped an answer would come to their wishes to the falling stars that there could be a way to make their entire tribe smarter, more intelligent and superior to ensure their birthright.​
    Wanderers explored the farthest reaches, and all news arrived to the tribe through their crude sign language and grunts.​
    [​IMG]
    News of a very violent and difficult fight between a wanderer and similar but different beings who were both stronger and seemingly smarter, and that for some funny reason hated Jews a lot. Nevertheless, the wanderer, thanks to Jew scienmajifics, emerged victorious against the Neanderthals.​
    The primates danced and celebrated, but the elders had another perspective over the event. A clearly superior being compared to them, they could see how, considering they just attacked the wanderer on sight, such beings were a massive threat to their survival, but on the other hand, they admired their strength and cunning, both virtues they people could be better at. Thus a conspiracy that would last thousand years was born.​
    [​IMG]
    Knowledge was being slowly gained, and soon the Elders of Zion spiced their meetings with copious amounts of hashish, which brought even more clearance of mind to such ancient organization and helped them to know themselves and to also know what they don't even know that they don't know.​
    Amidst one of such extremely spiced meetings, one of the Elders summoned the skies, and rambled madly, but quickly the others looked above: a falling star came down.​
    [​IMG]
    Its rubble covered the vastness of a region in proximity to the village. An omen, a mark of fate. Their destiny was shown.​
    [​IMG]
    In the year 8160 B.C. , the Jews finally developed a spoken language and began to preserve their knowledge through the telling of stories and tales. Gatherers were focusing on the stones from the hills and on the construction of stone tools. But most important of all, they discovered that the savage but superior beings considered stone as worthy as gold, and thus, the Elders found their means of enacting their plan to make of Israel a truly great people.​
    [​IMG]
    When it seemed the ragheads have forgotten Israel, shit hits the fan and tensions arise after the Zionist diplomat called Riso makes a snide comment about the grandfather of one of the arab leaders that fell in a snake pit. Whether this was planned all along by the Elders or accidental will never be known.​
    [​IMG]
    The defense of Jerusalem is now sufficient due to their technological superiority, as ther sandniggers are still hurling rocks with their hands. Another far more important concern will soon be addressed, as negotiations with the Neanderthals have begun. Meanwhile, the Elders of Zion conclude that banditism and villainy will greatly enhance the wealth of their people at the expense of the arabs and of all other human tribes. Thus proudly the Jews will be the first humans in history to have a bandit's hideout in their territory.​
    :M
    [​IMG]
    Then, finally, the serious negotiations began with the übermensch. The Elders of Zion hoped that they would convince the Neanderthal to join their tribe, and them through cultural manipulations they would manipulate both peoples to interbreed, giving origin to a new breed of man capable of developing IQs as high as 180 and of having naturally born TITANIUM BONES. A true cultural revolution that will blend the last thousand years of folklore of Jews and Neanderthals together and secure Jews as the smartest people in Earth.​
    For the outcome of this mix, the Elders already had a name: Ashkenazi Ashkeneanderthal!!!!​
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    FINALLY!!! A NEW ERA BEGINS​
    [​IMG]
    The other major civilizations of the world think themselves superior, but not for long, because the Zionists have found a new puppet to manipulate and secure their sovereignty forever, even if the world ends!​
    [​IMG]
    ISRAEL SHALL RISE!!!​
    On the next update: The Ashkeneanderthal Age​
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  2. felipepepe Prestigious Gentleman Codex's Heretic Patron

    felipepepe
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    Meaning you start at baby-mode? On a Tiny map with only 2 civilizations I'm glad you gonna try the non-combat approach.

    Anyway, cool LP, I shall follow.

    EDIT: And where is the antagonizing German nation?
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  3. Damned Registrations Prestigious Gentleman Furry Weeaboo Nazi Nihilist

    Damned Registrations
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    Looks really interesting. What is the 'local instability penalty'? Chance of revolt or something like that?
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  4. GarfunkeL Racism Expert

    GarfunkeL
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    Hellraiser Brofists this.
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  5. hoverdog dog that is hovering

    hoverdog
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    awesome

    this is like that thing Cleve was talking about
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  6. Cassidy Arcane

    Cassidy
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    If you spread out too quickly and neglect better civics and happiness-enhancing improvement there is a chance your farthermost cities will revolt and even attempt a revolution spawning a large amount of units to try overthrowing your civilization.

    Also in this update I went for a somewhat weird run in the content of the text between each screenshot, but if you think a bit you'll get the meat of the whole conspiracy fluff and homage to Deus Ex.

    Jews did Time Travel

    =========

    [​IMG]

    The Neanderthal Age


    Deus Ex Intro music

    [​IMG]

    ???: Oh yes, the threat of Cleve is being handled as we speak. Your appointment to the Celtic elder council should be finalized within the week, I've already discussed the matter with Boudica.

    [​IMG]

    ???: I take he was agreeable?

    [​IMG]

    ???: He didn't really have a choice.

    [​IMG]

    ???: Do we have the puppet gossipmongers ready?

    [​IMG]

    ???: Oh yes, most certainly! When I mentioned how easily his secret of not being a woman could be revealed he was so willing it was almost pathetic.

    [​IMG]

    ???: The arabs, their numbers are swelling over our borders to the point we may not be able to contain them.

    [​IMG]

    ???: Why contain them? Let them spill over our borders and taint our people's rebelliouness in the streets. In the end, they will beg us to enslave them.

    [​IMG]

    ???: I've received reports of armed attacks on our workers by arab criminals. There is not enough food in foreign lands, and the goyim are starting to get desperate.

    [​IMG]

    ???: Of course they're desperate: they can smell their deaths and the sound they'll make rattling their cages will serve as a warning to the rest.

    [​IMG]

    ???: Hmmm. I hope you're underestimating the problem, the others may not go as quietly as you think: intelligence indicates they are behind the problems in The Covenant.

    [​IMG]

    ???: A bunch of pretentious old Neanderthals playing at running the world.

    [​IMG]

    ???: But the world left them behind long ago. We are the future.

    [​IMG]

    ???: We have other problems.

    [​IMG]

    ???: Judaism?

    [​IMG]

    ???: Founded spontaneously as a grassroots religion. I have someone in place. I'm more concerned about Cleve surviving our trap, there are rumors he relocated overseas.

    [​IMG]

    ???: Our scientific works are far more advanced than theirs, and their ethical inflexibility has allowed us to make progress in areas they refuse to consider.

    [​IMG]

    ???: The Ashkeneanderthal project?

    [​IMG]

    ???: Among other things, but I must admit I am somewhat disappointed by the performance of the septenary unmasked unit.

    [​IMG]

    ???: The octonary unit should be online soon. He is currently undergoing preparation and will be operational within five centuries. My people will continue to report on his progress. If necessary, the septenary will be terminated.

    [​IMG]

    ???: We've had to endure much you and I, but soon there will be real order, a new age. Aquinas spoke of the mythical City on the Hill.

    [​IMG]

    ???: Soon that city will be a reality and we will be crowned its kings.

    [​IMG]

    ???: Or better than kings. Gods.
    Damned Registrations Brofists this.
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  7. Damned Registrations Prestigious Gentleman Furry Weeaboo Nazi Nihilist

    Damned Registrations
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    Damn, so much cool stuff in those screen shots. I really want to play this now.

    Keep it up!
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  8. Cassidy Arcane

    Cassidy
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    Note: Eventually you'll understand why this update is called Overfaith.

    [​IMG]

    The Overfaith

    Fitting song

    [​IMG]

    Still primitive, the proto-Jews who weren't afraid of eating pig and saw something divine in POTATO(after all in the past Poland had a lot of Jews) were about to get some.

    [​IMG]

    The town of Megiddo was founded in the far, frozen north. It was in this bleak landscape that a coming prophecy would foretell a great battle that would define the future of the entire world.

    [​IMG]

    No other civilization in the world had its history as marked by great prophets as Israel. Men who challenged the primitive concepts of Shamanism that developed in the recent thousand years, but lacked the ability to truly change the faith of their people.

    [​IMG]

    Slowly the tribal and nomadic way was becoming obsolete to usher a new way of life. Sporadic crops were already being grown and raised, as the Ashkeneanderthal scienmajifics led the Jewish people to unequal progress. Little they knew of the shadows playing with them, little they knew of the greater Alpha Protocols of the Elders of Zion.

    [​IMG]

    Yet, one of the many Jew prophets claimed to have made a breakthrough. He claimed to have reached beyond the veil of mortality and to have made contact with entities form the beyond. The contact however was too brief to allow him to gauge their intentions and wishes, or anything at all other than the fact they do exist. But this was enough for Shamanism to be boosted by the confirmation of the existence of an afterlife.

    Unfortunately, or perhaps intentionally as conspired by the Elders, this testimony and the testimonies of a few others who made contact with the spirit world would be forever lost to the mists of time. But that wouldn't be the last of these contacts, only the shallowest.

    [​IMG]

    Trained dogs are sent to put the raghead bandits in their place. Totally fitting considering what these savages think about dogs. The Zionists love irony as much as they prepare to enslave the goyim and their own people, eventually.

    [​IMG]

    However, their plan is delayed. Tensions are rising within a Neanderthal minority in the city of The Covenant, and the current government relies on structures that are way too primitive for handling an empire of such size, causing a growing problem and overburdening of the tribal chiefs.

    [​IMG]

    The bastard is taken down by a dog. The goyim deserve no better because as decreed by the Babylonian Talmud, their lives have less worth than the lives of dogs, specially the bandits. Oh wait there is no Talmud yet... but some forces from the shadows have the power of knowing the future as they plan ahead of time.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    Homer Simpson is the poster child of how the Elders of Zion want all manboons to be like: dull, dumb, easily manipulated and decadent. For that eventually the Jews shall invent Televitz and take over all media, while dumbing down everything to condition people to be more and more retarded while seeking to unlock another achievement. And thus, the proud Neanderthals have become obsolete in this new era of manboon drooling.

    [​IMG]

    Now everything was set for the birthplace of many religions(which are all puppets of the Elders, obviously), to become the grounds where a faith that shall influence the world forever is born. But the Elders are having some problems.

    [​IMG]

    For the Neanderthal minority in The Covenant grows restless and is inciting the others as well, in an attempt to compensate their assburgers with IQ > 180 to draw crowds to their cause. Yet, as said: the world left them behind long ago. Nevertheless, there is one solution to this kind of problem that never fails, even if temporary, for man is an animal first and a moral being second, and thus anybody can be corrupted given enough Jewgold. But the Elders aren't for sale: the price to make them serve anybody but themselves is too high. for those of this world

    [​IMG]

    Some of the great works the Elders of Zion indirectly promoted are beyond comprehension. Why did they want for such mysterious statues to be built? What are those cyclopean statues supposed to be? More shamanic totems? Overstylized representations of people? Or something else that only the deepest circles of the Elders of Zion know the truth about?

    [​IMG]

    Nevertheless, their legacy shall be marked in History. Even if their true purpose is beyond comprehension of those not initiated in their houses of mystery. Even the awe of their MAJESTICNESS is shrouded by a brooding mystery, as a veil of darkness will forever hide their true purpose from the manboons.

    [​IMG]

    For over ten thousand years, the Jews have waged a covert war against the arabs. With both sides unwilling to confront themselves openly, the arabs resorted to exiling their scum so that they would prey on their neighbors, while the Jews trained countless ferocious dogmeats to repel this thread and were forced to have warriors escorting all their gatherers and workers.

    [​IMG]

    Equally unaware of the true meaning and purpose of the Stonehenge, the druids of the tranny queen request permission to visit it. Of course it is granted, for their presence will weaken the manboons through the power of multikult making them even more easily manipulated by their Zionist overlords.

    [​IMG]

    Another religion I have no idea what the fuck it is about* is founded by the Zionists.

    * :patriot:

    [​IMG]

    So, do they think they can oust the Jews in backstabbing and backdoors political scheming? Challenge accepted, for embassies will greatly ease espionage.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    Adam and Eve is nothing but a metaphor for what the Elders of Zion did by hoarding many secrets and knowledge and hiding them from the public, and as a cautionary tale to ensure the manboons will wallow in ignorance as much as possible.

    [​IMG]

    It wasn't part of the original scriptures of grassroots Judaism but for Zionists tampering with the content of holy books is as trivial as determining what kind of "opinion" Oprah will speak.

    Another religion also was born, a polytheistic cult centered on the worship of Jewitzipotl. The Jews monopolized near all religions of the world already, but they still didn't establish their own true legacy.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    GOYIM BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!!

    [​IMG]

    First as a grassroots movement started by prophets that were too pure for the Elders to corrupt, it was soon swayed by the conspirators and manipulated within their cabal to serve their plans of world domination from the shadows. Also I'll make a cheap joke on how it doesn't make the pig bonus resource obsolete.

    [​IMG]

    By the time Judaism was founded, except for some genetic traces they left and a few closer to their ancestors than the others, the Neanderthals were almost gone as a distinct race through massive interbreeding with a much larger population of manboons. There were rumors of a Neanderthal named Cleve living in a distant land with the last of their kind still untainted by multikult, but those were just rumors. Everything was happening:

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    Well, at least almost everything, because some Neanderthals were still stirring up trouble in The Covenant, and eventually, no Jewgold of the world would stop them. A massive rebellion erupted in the city as a new age was about to dawn:

    [​IMG]

    But like always, the Jews will win again. The Overfaith was solidly established by now. A concept the masters of this world created to separate their secrets from what the common folk worship. However, they still needed something truly adequate for their needs as their Secret Religion. Something that would grant them near limitless power, knowledge and potential to truly shape every inch of the world to their whim. But that would remain undefined for yet a few more decades or centuries, but not for long.

    [​IMG]

    Nothing can take away from the masters of the world their dominion!
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  9. golgepapaz Learned Patron

    golgepapaz
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    meh, I've tried to play this one, but I've got what is called the black terrain problem (No terrain map, just my units on a black screen), oh and it crashes directly on bigger maps
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  10. Hellraiser Arcane

    Hellraiser
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  11. Cassidy Arcane

    Cassidy
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    This mod really pushes the engine beyond its limit and I think they went with a "implement as much as we can first, fix bugs latter" approach to worsen it. In my case I can't really start a game with a map of larger size than small, playing with more than 5 civilizations is a certain invitation for constant crashes. Of course because I never saw any reason to install more than 2 GB RAM in my PC it doesn't match its recommended (3 GB), but that is stupid. When something is mentioned as minimum requirement things like number of civs and map size wouldn't crash the game but instead at most slow it down FFS.

    I even installed it twice because at first I was trying to generate large maps that never went anywhere and thought the download was corrupted or something.
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  12. Merkwürdigliebe Magister

    Merkwürdigliebe
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    Bro what is this? Your LP is full of Juice, and not the good kind. :eek:
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  13. Cassidy Arcane

    Cassidy
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    What do you mean? Would it be better with less conspiracy themed lulz?

    OR ARE YOU A JEW AND BUTTHURT ABOUT IT?

    :M _____ :M:M:M:M
    :M ____ :M
    :M ____ :M
    :M:M:M:M:M:M
    ________ :M ________ :M
    ________ :M ________ :M
    :M:M:M _______ :M
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  14. anus_pounder Arcane

    anus_pounder
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    Dat DX inspired update - :lol: :lol: :lol:
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  15. Damned Registrations Prestigious Gentleman Furry Weeaboo Nazi Nihilist

    Damned Registrations
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    It takes an expert.
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  16. Merkwürdigliebe Magister

    Merkwürdigliebe
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    Maybe I am. What then?

    אנחנו צריכים להשמיד את היהודים
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  17. Cassidy Arcane

    Cassidy
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    Maybe this game would be made better by switching to rebel factions of those wanting to free themselves from their overlords. If it starts getting too dull it'll surely be fun to challenge a greatly powerful empire with a single city and handful of units.

    Damn, I just spoiled what I planned to do...

    M:
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  18. DwarvenFood Arcane Patron

    DwarvenFood
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    Serpent in the Staglands Dead State Divinity: Original Sin Project: Eternity Wasteland 2
    I did not know about this mod, looks interesting. Following thread.
    JagreenLern Brofists this.
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  19. JagreenLern Learned Patron

    JagreenLern
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    Another great Cassidy LP begins. I hope this one goes far. I was bummed when the Beria one died. I've been playing this mod a lot since this LP started, and it's pretty fucking good so far. I'm playing the Aztecs, and I look forward to creating a true utopia, a society with both transhumanism and gory sacrificial rites.

    And I bet none of you can guess which Society civic I'm going for...

    Brofist for your avatar. RUN! ITZ OMAR!
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  20. DwarvenFood Arcane Patron

    DwarvenFood
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    Thanks man, my second brofist. Will go a happy man into the weekend.

    Cassidy updatan plox ? I love the way Cleve will always live on in our LP's.
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  21. Cassidy Arcane

    Cassidy
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    Bros I found a fix to the crashing issues and now can easily run this even on huge maps with lots of civs:

    http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=225205

    :incline:

    Which means you'll have to give your opinion on what I should do:

    1) Continue the LP with the tiny map and only 2 rival civs
    2) Restart it in a much larger map from the Prehistoric Age
    3) Restart it in a much larger map from the Ancient Age
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  22. anus_pounder Arcane

    anus_pounder
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    2.) Time for :incline: on LPDex.
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  23. janjetina Arcane

    janjetina
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    2
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