Infantryman
Scholar
Soundtrack (self-arranged!)
White House. It must be Obama writing something with keyboard.
CONNECTING
Back to world view?
KREMLIN
Ah, I get it now, we’re going to see a mosaic of some kind.
Damn commies!
Ah, the British. I always wonder why are they treated as if they were more influential than Germans and French.
Is that where Iranian president lives?
I expected to see Best Korea sooner or later.
All players logged in.
THE GAME IS AFOOT
DIPLOMACY
ESPIONAGE
Nuclear submarine is where we all live in
FINANCE
POVERTY
CONSTRUCTION
Ok, I’ll stop with stating the obvious and just show the pics.
Yeah! Every intro has to end with nuclear explosion, doesn’t it?
Wooshhhhh... The loading screen appears.
After selecting appropriate game mode, we may choose a country to play as on the map. In this case, it’s Iran.
The settings. Because you did not tell me which leader you want for Iran (except Cassidy), I’m going to name him Andhaira, but leave Ahmadinejad’s face because I don’t feel like modding right now.
The difficulty is Novice, because I’m new to this game and this setting gives helpful feedback on the consequences of the decisions.
The game is afoot! It begins with some useless TV news coverage. I turn it off immediately.
Islamic Republic of Iran, our glorious country!
Let’s zoom the map out a bit. The more red the icon is, the more the given country hates us, and the greener the icon is, the more they like us. Well, it seems Iran cannot into making friends. We don’t even have good relationship with most fellow Muslim countries, because Iran is hardcore Shiite country while others are mainly Sunni. Our diplomatic position is similar to the one of the Third Reich in late 1930s. Our potential allies are frustrated contenders who reject current world order and aim at replacing it with a new one, hopefully the one which will finally grant them their rightful place under sun. These include Best Korea, Venezuela, Belarus, Russia, and to lesser extent, China. Interestingly, Brazil likes us somewhat. Our biggest enemies are the Great Satan and Zionist imperialists. May Allah smite those wicked rats!
Iran is riddled with icons representing oil wells. The game is quite graphically intensive, but as I’m playing this on laptop, graphics settings are at the lowest level. It’s nice that the authors were so considerate. Back to the topic. These wells are the lifeblood of our economy. They are our biggest treasure. Allah be praised!
Oil accounts for 40% of our exports. Once their price falls, we are doomed to life in poverty and starvation. When they are high, the riches from the decadent west fall upon us in the endless stream. The problem is once we upset those pig-eating infidels too much, their sanctions on oil imports will ruin us. We must tread carefully.
Iran is the member of the OPEC. Once in a while a summit takes place in which members negotiate the targeted oil price. The higher it is, the higher our revenues are. But if we overdo it, our customers will seek alternative energy sources, cut their consumption, or start buying more oil from non-OPEC countries.
Public finances of Iran are in nearly perfect order. Almost no public debt, marginal budget deficit, social security expenditures account for only ~30% of our spending. Filthy west can only look up to us in envy with their horribly expensive social welfare and ludicrous levels of debt.
Our economy is not in perfect condition, however. High levels of inflation hamper growth. It makes me wonder, why our predecessors have kept the interest rates at such a low level.
Overall taxation is at a low level. Its structure, however, is highly socialistic, with strong emphasis on redistribution which is quite popular among masses, but punishes citizens for initiative and entrepreneurship.
Our military is pretty large, but its funding is lacking and equipment is obsolete. Also, the fact that the Great Satan spends more than 150 times more on its armed forces than us is worrying.
Ruling party has overwhelming majority in the Parliament. But it doesn’t really matter, as laws are issued as presidential decrees.
Our presidential mandate expires on June 2013.
Labor syndicates are major cause of extreme butthurt for most western leaders. They organize massive strikes at the slightest remarks of fiscal reforms. No one dares to mess with them in the western world. But in Iran, there is only one, state-controlled syndicate, and strikes are forbidden. This makes country MUCH easier to manage.
Iraq. War with this country has left a profound scar on Iranian society, its effects felt even at the present day. Millions of young Persians died in futile human wave attacks against Iraqis, using heavy weapons and mustard gas, to fulfill Khomeini’s dreams of spreading the revolution. Iraq is one of the few countries with significant Shiite population, making it very important for Iran. But even with Saddam gone, the mutual relations are ice cold. We cannot accept that Mesopotamia is ruled by puppets of the infidels!
Despite being Islamic Republic, Iran is in rather bad demographic condition. Our fertility rate has reached the sub-replacement level. It is even worse than the one of American white infidel women! Our population is still very young, but at that rate, in 40 years our country will collapse. Which is still better than in Europe, whose demographic suicide has started 25 years earlier.
PROMOTE CONTRACEPRION? Who the heck is responsible for that?
http://www.bbc.co.uk/religion/religions/islam/islamethics/contraception.shtml
Islam allows contraceptives? From perspective of a country’s leader it’s not good at all. I mean it’s much easier to forbid them than to throw billions of dollars in form of family allowances in hopes that it will make people inclined to make babies.
Let’s review matters of internal security. There’s one terrorist organization working within our borders working to overthrow our government. It is a problem to be dealt with.
WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!!!? Iran has no spies at all at Great Satan, and instead we’re spying on Potatolanders and some bankrupt rageheads.
Iran cannot into espionage. Our intelligence services budget is laughable.
Iran cannot into science. The quality of goods produced in our country is very poor, and relative wealth coming from petrodollars makes our economy very uncompetitive. East Asians can produce better for less than us.
Ok, that was the basic country overview. Now it’s time to choose.
Issue 1: Our priority for next 3 years:
A) Gearing up for war! The time for jihad is near!
B) Transforming our economy. Let’s invest our revenues into research and development so that we become wealthy, innovative and more independent nation!
C) The most noble pursuit is the social welfare. We must focus on improving living conditions of our people!
Issue 2: Foreign policy priorities:
A) Let’s align ourselves with bigger powers, like Russia and China!
B) Let’s forge a regional alliance of Islamic powers!
C) We are the only faithful nation in the world, therefore we cannot sacrifice our ideals!
Issue 3: Contraception policy:
A) Promote it.
B) Discourage it.
C) Forbid it.
Issue 4: Intelligence priorities:
A) Let’s focus entirely on Great Satan and Zionists.
B) Let’s focus on Great Satan and Zionists, and keep lesser networks at their allies.
C) We’re a regional power, so we must focus on our region.
D) We should refrain ourselves from using sneaky methods of vile infidel!
Issue 5: Nuclear policy:
A) Let’s develop a nuclear bomb!
B) Let’s confine ourselves to civilian use of nuclear energy.
C) All we need is oil.
Example of an answer:
1-A, 2-B, 3-C, 4-D, 5-C
White House. It must be Obama writing something with keyboard.
CONNECTING
Back to world view?
KREMLIN
Ah, I get it now, we’re going to see a mosaic of some kind.
Damn commies!
Ah, the British. I always wonder why are they treated as if they were more influential than Germans and French.
Is that where Iranian president lives?
I expected to see Best Korea sooner or later.
All players logged in.
THE GAME IS AFOOT
DIPLOMACY
ESPIONAGE
Nuclear submarine is where we all live in
FINANCE
POVERTY
CONSTRUCTION
Ok, I’ll stop with stating the obvious and just show the pics.
Yeah! Every intro has to end with nuclear explosion, doesn’t it?
Wooshhhhh... The loading screen appears.
After selecting appropriate game mode, we may choose a country to play as on the map. In this case, it’s Iran.
The settings. Because you did not tell me which leader you want for Iran (except Cassidy), I’m going to name him Andhaira, but leave Ahmadinejad’s face because I don’t feel like modding right now.
The difficulty is Novice, because I’m new to this game and this setting gives helpful feedback on the consequences of the decisions.
The game is afoot! It begins with some useless TV news coverage. I turn it off immediately.
Islamic Republic of Iran, our glorious country!
Let’s zoom the map out a bit. The more red the icon is, the more the given country hates us, and the greener the icon is, the more they like us. Well, it seems Iran cannot into making friends. We don’t even have good relationship with most fellow Muslim countries, because Iran is hardcore Shiite country while others are mainly Sunni. Our diplomatic position is similar to the one of the Third Reich in late 1930s. Our potential allies are frustrated contenders who reject current world order and aim at replacing it with a new one, hopefully the one which will finally grant them their rightful place under sun. These include Best Korea, Venezuela, Belarus, Russia, and to lesser extent, China. Interestingly, Brazil likes us somewhat. Our biggest enemies are the Great Satan and Zionist imperialists. May Allah smite those wicked rats!
Iran is riddled with icons representing oil wells. The game is quite graphically intensive, but as I’m playing this on laptop, graphics settings are at the lowest level. It’s nice that the authors were so considerate. Back to the topic. These wells are the lifeblood of our economy. They are our biggest treasure. Allah be praised!
Oil accounts for 40% of our exports. Once their price falls, we are doomed to life in poverty and starvation. When they are high, the riches from the decadent west fall upon us in the endless stream. The problem is once we upset those pig-eating infidels too much, their sanctions on oil imports will ruin us. We must tread carefully.
Iran is the member of the OPEC. Once in a while a summit takes place in which members negotiate the targeted oil price. The higher it is, the higher our revenues are. But if we overdo it, our customers will seek alternative energy sources, cut their consumption, or start buying more oil from non-OPEC countries.
Public finances of Iran are in nearly perfect order. Almost no public debt, marginal budget deficit, social security expenditures account for only ~30% of our spending. Filthy west can only look up to us in envy with their horribly expensive social welfare and ludicrous levels of debt.
Our economy is not in perfect condition, however. High levels of inflation hamper growth. It makes me wonder, why our predecessors have kept the interest rates at such a low level.
Overall taxation is at a low level. Its structure, however, is highly socialistic, with strong emphasis on redistribution which is quite popular among masses, but punishes citizens for initiative and entrepreneurship.
Our military is pretty large, but its funding is lacking and equipment is obsolete. Also, the fact that the Great Satan spends more than 150 times more on its armed forces than us is worrying.
Ruling party has overwhelming majority in the Parliament. But it doesn’t really matter, as laws are issued as presidential decrees.
Our presidential mandate expires on June 2013.
Labor syndicates are major cause of extreme butthurt for most western leaders. They organize massive strikes at the slightest remarks of fiscal reforms. No one dares to mess with them in the western world. But in Iran, there is only one, state-controlled syndicate, and strikes are forbidden. This makes country MUCH easier to manage.
Iraq. War with this country has left a profound scar on Iranian society, its effects felt even at the present day. Millions of young Persians died in futile human wave attacks against Iraqis, using heavy weapons and mustard gas, to fulfill Khomeini’s dreams of spreading the revolution. Iraq is one of the few countries with significant Shiite population, making it very important for Iran. But even with Saddam gone, the mutual relations are ice cold. We cannot accept that Mesopotamia is ruled by puppets of the infidels!
Despite being Islamic Republic, Iran is in rather bad demographic condition. Our fertility rate has reached the sub-replacement level. It is even worse than the one of American white infidel women! Our population is still very young, but at that rate, in 40 years our country will collapse. Which is still better than in Europe, whose demographic suicide has started 25 years earlier.
PROMOTE CONTRACEPRION? Who the heck is responsible for that?
http://www.bbc.co.uk/religion/religions/islam/islamethics/contraception.shtml
Islam allows contraceptives? From perspective of a country’s leader it’s not good at all. I mean it’s much easier to forbid them than to throw billions of dollars in form of family allowances in hopes that it will make people inclined to make babies.
Let’s review matters of internal security. There’s one terrorist organization working within our borders working to overthrow our government. It is a problem to be dealt with.
WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!!!? Iran has no spies at all at Great Satan, and instead we’re spying on Potatolanders and some bankrupt rageheads.
Iran cannot into espionage. Our intelligence services budget is laughable.
Iran cannot into science. The quality of goods produced in our country is very poor, and relative wealth coming from petrodollars makes our economy very uncompetitive. East Asians can produce better for less than us.
Ok, that was the basic country overview. Now it’s time to choose.
Issue 1: Our priority for next 3 years:
A) Gearing up for war! The time for jihad is near!
B) Transforming our economy. Let’s invest our revenues into research and development so that we become wealthy, innovative and more independent nation!
C) The most noble pursuit is the social welfare. We must focus on improving living conditions of our people!
Issue 2: Foreign policy priorities:
A) Let’s align ourselves with bigger powers, like Russia and China!
B) Let’s forge a regional alliance of Islamic powers!
C) We are the only faithful nation in the world, therefore we cannot sacrifice our ideals!
Issue 3: Contraception policy:
A) Promote it.
B) Discourage it.
C) Forbid it.
Issue 4: Intelligence priorities:
A) Let’s focus entirely on Great Satan and Zionists.
B) Let’s focus on Great Satan and Zionists, and keep lesser networks at their allies.
C) We’re a regional power, so we must focus on our region.
D) We should refrain ourselves from using sneaky methods of vile infidel!
Issue 5: Nuclear policy:
A) Let’s develop a nuclear bomb!
B) Let’s confine ourselves to civilian use of nuclear energy.
C) All we need is oil.
Example of an answer:
1-A, 2-B, 3-C, 4-D, 5-C