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Let's play Alpha Brotocol (and Rage together)

fastpunk

Arbiter
Joined
Mar 31, 2007
Messages
1,798
Location
under the sun
Darth Roxor said:
You actually managed to die in the fucking tutorial.

Good lord, you suck
 

Cassidy

Arcane
Joined
Sep 9, 2007
Messages
7,922
Location
Vault City
Fuck you all. It has been almost 2 years since the last time I played an action game and I'm not used to popamole new shit where you need to be a fag and have no balls and shoot from behind cover.
 

Vaarna_Aarne

Notorious Internet Vandal
Joined
Jun 1, 2008
Messages
34,585
Location
Cell S-004
MCA Project: Eternity Torment: Tides of Numenera Wasteland 2
You don't even need to use the cover system, just knowing where to move without pressing a button (like in ye olde days) works too.
 

Radisshu

Prophet
Joined
Jul 16, 2007
Messages
5,623
Cassidy said:
Fuck you all. It has been almost 2 years since the last time I played an action game and I'm not used to popamole new shit where you need to be a fag and have no balls and shoot from behind cover.

I never play action games. Still didn't die in the tutorial.
 

Cassidy

Arcane
Joined
Sep 9, 2007
Messages
7,922
Location
Vault City
I tried to play it like Quake, Doom or Unreal 1 to spice up this LP and this was the consequence. I tended to be pwn in Soldier of Fortune MP, specially in CTF(the only game which public servers had good enough pings back then), but when I tried Counter-Strike I really failed a lot at it because I dislike those "realistic" games with slow movement, all hitscan weapons and accuracy loss during fire. Also I'm really hating the aiming system on this game but guess what, I'll prove you are wrong because I'm not going to hide the deaths during this playthrough.

*Edit: This is the Post-mortem Codex, where butthurt fanboys and random trolls will try to find excuses to laugh at you. Now, back to the programming of drama, tears and rage soon as the heat of this thread shall definitively turn up.
 

Darth Roxor

Royal Dongsmith
Staff Member
Joined
May 29, 2008
Messages
1,878,404
Location
Djibouti
Face it: you fucking suck, and no, this is not a matter of 'butthurt fanboys'. If you died at the hands of goblins in Oblivion starter dungeon, and people would start saying you're completely incompetent, would you also shout 'FANBOYS!!!!' at them?
 
Joined
Feb 10, 2007
Messages
7,715
Cassidy said:
Fuck you all. It has been almost 2 years since the last time I played an action game and I'm not used to popamole new shit where you need to be a fag and have no balls and shoot from behind cover.
This is why you should just stick with your Civ III LP. Because you suck at this game.
 

Brother None

inXile Entertainment
Developer
Joined
Jul 11, 2004
Messages
5,673
Hah, I kind of dig the "desparately trying to find stuff to complain about so I can score Kodex Kool Kid points" style of updating, it's very funny. Especially since you have to try so hard to find some pathetic little things to whine about, works for me, bro...but man that'll be a pain to keep up a full LP, nasally whining about everything. Especially since you suck at the game and obviously don't know shit about it, vis-a-vis your ignorance in Recruit background and here:

Cutscene time! A truck arrives full of hostiles and the game advises for use of the laughable auto-invisibilty stealth mode.

What? No it doesn't, you don't have that skill yet, the skill you're pointing to is your radar. That's why it looks like a radar. Durrr, I is smart?
 

spekkio

Arcane
Joined
Sep 16, 2009
Messages
8,278
Don't mind the haters, Brother Cassidy.

We all know that this death was for greater lulz.
 

Radisshu

Prophet
Joined
Jul 16, 2007
Messages
5,623
Brother None said:
Cutscene time! A truck arrives full of hostiles and the game advises for use of the laughable auto-invisibilty stealth mode.

What? No it doesn't, you don't have that skill yet, the skill you're pointing to is your radar. That's why it looks like a radar. Durrr, I is smart?

Oh, and this.
 

Cassidy

Arcane
Joined
Sep 9, 2007
Messages
7,922
Location
Vault City
back to sportforredneck said:
Cassidy said:
Fuck you all. It has been almost 2 years since the last time I played an action game and I'm not used to popamole new shit where you need to be a fag and have no balls and shoot from behind cover.
This is why you should just stick with your Civ III LP. Because you suck at this game.

But it doesn't cause as much I N T E R N E T D R A M A as this one because there will be no fanboys to defend the game and piss take on anyone challenging the GLORIOUS ASSELLONE AND HIS PERFECT AWESOME GAMES.

What? No it doesn't, you don't have that skill yet, the skill you're pointing to is your radar. That's why it looks like a radar. Durrr, I is smart?

The stealth part is so trivial to do that it feels almost like auto-invisibility and I can't bother with it due to such fact. Now if there is something even more dumbed down than that, then no comments are needed. So if you didn't get it that I was referring to the overall stealth system rather than to that even worse detail of it, Herp Derp Obsidian is awesum Durrrr You're wrong and you fail. And before you spout more bullshit to decline the Codex I've beaten all Thief games and Thief 2X on hardest difficulty levels thus I know what I'm talking about.

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW

With a few exceptions, most negative answers in this thread.

So go fuck your dogs consoletard popamole lovers and the most dull update of this thread is coming!

Don't mind the haters, Brother Cassidy.

We all know that this death was for greater lulz.

But if I pretend minding them there will be greater drama. Or am I typing this hidden message to pretend I don't give a shit about their opinions and earn KKK instead?

======================================

Lots of Big Words and NPC conversations

Having passed the test he wasn't aware that was supposed to be a test, Michael Thornton Shepard now goes through training and that is it, this update lacks any gameplay elements to comment upon so it will be a huge screenshot dump and suck as much as my first attempt to pop moles.

My proof to the faggots claiming I suck that they are wrong will come in the next update! Stay tuned for the next episode of this drama as the Defenders of the Old Codexia and of the skyway of Life shall never surrender to the Post-Decline Codexia of unconditional worship to the gods of Obsidian!!!!

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First dossiers for checking.

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Of course, EXTREME Thornton will have him as a close friend.

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Basically, a BlackOps agency. Also, along the way Thornton hacks a laptop with several witnesses looking at him. Here is what he finds:

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This is possibly the most interesting message found so far. Now is such Dhimmi Baxter Republican or Democrat?

:mystery:

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Seems like someone wants to score Mina.

Then time to head for shooting training. And Meet Mina personally. The cropped dialogues for the lulz also mean that if you like popamole you won't have the entire game spoiled for you in this thread.

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So, it's a plain shooting range.

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You already know what this is.

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Then the course. I did way better in the Modern Gayfare training when compared to this one. But it doesn't mean you'll have any pleasure of seeing fail in this thread unless it is done on purpose(or not but you'll never know)

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AR.

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Final result: meh(although except for the shotgun and for the SMG spray because that is how SMGs are supposed to be used because the movies told me so amirite, I didn't miss much)

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Then the physical training. Like I mentioned I didn't bother with stealth because I want to progress through the game faster.

Then meet the man who cleans up the Brotocols to ensure nobody ever discovers its existence by tracking people who know too much and hiring Lithuanian Hitmen to make them vanish, the "janitor" of the place.

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Thornton asks about what happens should the shit hit the fan.

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Now to meet the man who wants to fuck Mina.

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I'll definitively stockpile EMP grenades for the most annoying minigame sections I expect to exist in mid-late game.

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With everything done regarding training, Thornton Shepard proceeds to meet the man himself. And he isn't Eli Vance, no. It is obvious who this man is, because the fact he likes everything EXTREME as the dossier says gives it away.

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Because Thornton is a EXTREME person like Codename Westridge(Real name EXTREME Shepard), he ends liking the young recruit.

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[Intelligence]When a question is answered with another question, it is a Rabbinical response. This means that the Jews are involved with Alpha Protocol!

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This is unmistakably Biowarian

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Then Thornton is led to the actual briefing room

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Ominous Cutscene Time!

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And thus

Veredict of this Update: Mostly plot development but not much to say here. So far no big plot holes were detected. Also what is the fun of using grenades if you can always see their trajectory?

tl;dr

lpbrotocolp3s117.jpg


Now ITZ COMING to Saudi Arabia for real gameplay!
 

Cassidy

Arcane
Joined
Sep 9, 2007
Messages
7,922
Location
Vault City
racofer said:
It's so incredibly annoying to have incomplete dialogs I can't even bother reading through this LP any longer.

The other alternatives are to slow down this thread updates because of having to type the dialogues or having hundreds of screenshots. Or ignoring dialogues altogether and just giving briefings of the given information in them.

Which is better?*

*More Herp Derp comments about dying at the tutorial shall not included when counting opinions.
 

Brother None

inXile Entertainment
Developer
Joined
Jul 11, 2004
Messages
5,673
Aahahaha you even failed at the very easy tutorials. This shit is badass...

Cassidy said:
No you see I meant to fail and suck horribly, and when I said the radar is invisibly mode I totally actually MEANT to say the entire system sucks, isn't that obvious? Look, I'm trying really hard to be cool, please stop pointing out how much I suck.

Cool story bro.
 

racofer

Thread Incliner
Joined
Apr 5, 2008
Messages
25,577
Location
Your ignore list.
Cassidy said:
The other alternatives are to slow down this thread updates because of having to type the dialogues or having hundreds of screenshots. Or ignoring dialogues altogether and just giving briefings of the given information in them.

Giving a short brief on the current events should suffice. On its current state though, it's hard to keep track of what is going on since Alphail Protocrap innovashumeted dialogs yet again by displaying subtitles with 6 words (tops!) at a time.
 

Terror Teats

Educated
Joined
Jun 6, 2010
Messages
371
lol at cassidy getting butthurt over sucking at games

I PLAYED ALL TIEFSX GAMES ON HARDEST DIFFINCULT THIS OBSIDIANS FAULT ANYONE WHO SAYS I"M NOT THE ROXOR IS OBSIDFAG WORSHIPPER WHO SARCIFICES GOATSE NOW TIME TO GET MY GAME ON BROS

you can't even tell what you're making fun of---time to quit bro guess asselone wins this round
 

spekkio

Arcane
Joined
Sep 16, 2009
Messages
8,278
racofer said:
Giving a short brief on the current events should suffice.
This. Only sex-scenes require full screenshots coverage.
 

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