Albert presses on.
And he is now sitting in a chapel
minding his own business, listening to a lovely hebrew mass
But suddenly, those papist people plunge in
They put him in a dungeon
and stick a red hot poker up his arse.
Is that considerate?
Is that polite?
I ain't drinking with those cannibals again.
Could the sun please shine a bit more quietly? Thanks.
Gladiator? What gladiator?
OSHIT
Meet the gladiator. He's a bossfight, in case you haven't noticed. Just shoopin' him won't do us any good, so let's wait for opportunities...
He's carrying a fuckhueg shield that he throws from time to time like he's friggin Captain America.
But Albert has very high dodge, which means the shield gets stuck in random stuff on its way
WELL, I WONDER WHERE COULD THAT WEAK POINT OF HIS BE
Still, even when he doesn't have the shield, the gladiator is far from harmless. He's got a bitchin' whip that knocks Albert down and is a bitch to dodge.
Thus, Albert deftly dodges back to mitigate the damage, while the gladiator picks up his shield.
DAMMIT, WHERE IS THAT WEAK SPOT
While trying to shoop, Albert gets stomped. But non-fatally, fortunately.
And this is the fight in a nutshell. Wait for him to throw shield, shoop shoop, run around waiting for him to throw again.
However, after another volley, the gladiator lets out a shriek.
A cannibal runs to this, uh, totem-like thing and pushes it down.
One ugly mofo he is.
The gladiator stomps towards the totem... this could mean only one thing
FUCKHUEG CLUB ENGAGED
At least this time you don't have to wait for him to show his weak spot.
Random cannibals also invade the arena
Ammo dispensers. That's nice.
However, caution has to be exercised when the gladiator goes clubbing...
Because getting too close means Albert gets dusted.
And since the gladiator has a pretty high amount of action points
He follows up with another hit that leaves Albert dead while he's still on the ground.
time warp
Jesus Christ on a pogo stick, this bitch hits HARD
The sawn-off is way too risky in this encounter, so let's poke him to death with the pistol.
Although the sawn-off is still good to dispose of stray cannibals.
After shoopin' the gladiator for a while, this cutscene starts...
It's Karolina! Trying to sneak up on some guy operating a floodlight.
But she reconsiders and takes the wrench instead of the pipe.
Is about to swing it at him, but...
She doesn't. What. THIS IS NO PLACE TO BE PACIFIST, YOU STUPID HOE
She taps him on the shoulder to get his attention first...
and THEN whacks him with the wrench.
That was so very absurd
Another successful therapy!
Our BRO Al looks tired.
Then notices Karolina.
She runs off... somewhere
... and ends up in a back alley.
WUT
Meanwhile, Albert runs out of another alley, chased by cannibals
WUT
When suddenly, more cannibals appear and try to bumrush Karolina.
I have no idea what is going on, but it has a lot of people running around
A cannibal blocks her way...
WHEN SUDDENLY.
Yes, the saboteur. He walks out of a building and kicks some, uh, railing, I guess that falls on the cannibal's head.
The funny thing is, I actually didn't notice the saboteur in this scene the first time I played. You see him going out of the building only for a split second, so if you don't look exactly in that direction, you'll think the debris fell on the cannibal's head just by itself or whatever. Nice touch. I actually had no idea I caught this guy on a screenshot.
Here was when I noticed the saboteur yesterday. You see him running out of the building to the right, and rushing after Karolina. I was like 'wut' when I saw it, and thought I hadn't captured him on a screen. But, fortunately, I managed to do that accidentally on another one
Still. That doesn't quite deal with that horde of cannibals, though...
THIS IS YOUR STALINGRAD, TOKAJ
NO
What do you mean 'no'?
I have a better plan
Which is?
I DRIVE, YOU SHOOP
Don't ask me why Al just won't run after Karolina, but I guess running right by a fucking construct made of rails is too fucking much for him.
This chase scene is different from the previous ones, though.
Albert keeps running forward on his own, yeah, but you control his side movement.
You also happen to have the Kosicov SMG and unlimited ammo (except that you have to reload), that Tokaj will shoot blindly behind him. You have to manoeuvre Albert left/right so that the shitty gun actually hits anything, and there's a lot of armed goons chasing Tokaj that need to be disposed of ASAP.
Sup
Haha, a gate drops in front of the chimera, blocking its path. FEWL
But it just breaks through it. Shitte.
Still, no matter how shit the kosicov is, it IS kind of good against fat targets at point blank range.
I'll take the regular pistol over it any day though.
Albert kicks in the door of a derelict pharmacy
I would have never figured!
Take that, sandniggers.
Tokaj picks up some ammo from a dispenser outside, and goes through a gate...
In before he gets KO'd again
OSHIT
OSNAP
NO
NO!
FUREH!!
More shooty-shooty acshun
Hiding inside this building gives good protection from the gunners, while Albert picks off the dual-wielders.
Turns out he was shooting at the threshold of a very peculiar bathroom. Intestines in the sink, brian in the toilet.
Lovely!
Moving on...
More adversaries
WHAT COULD LIE BEHIND THIS DOOR?!?!?!!
Ah, I almost forgot.
Here's the condition for this level.
but the answer to the greatest question still stands...
WHAT COULD LIE BEHIND THAT DOOR?!?!?!!