Anime Let's Unbox Boxes in Wasteland 2! (The End)

[RK47]

Spoiler

 

[RK47]

Spoiler

The treasury's empty.

Then let them have mine.

This is foolish.

Guo Jia. Now's not the time.

Where are you going?

To Lord Zhang Bao.

Lord Zhang Bao, it's been too long.

Likewise, Difen. Your deeds have spread far and wide. What brings you to Pu Yang?

I've...questions of the future.

Ah. Of course, with the control of Central Plains and Northern China...it is only a small matter of crushing Little Sun Jian before we can set our sights to the west.

What about me, my lord?

I'm sure my Brother, Zhang Liang has great need for you to subjugate the western plains...

Is it not time for me to...

You've been a capable Prefect and outstanding Commander under my Brother for so long, expect great rewards when he eventually ascends the throne.

My Lord, will you teach me the ways of Heaven?

I am afraid my elder Brother's mastery of Wizardry is beyond me, but I am willing to teach you whatever I can.

I would be grateful.

Days pass...

Think nothing of it.

And without Shi Difen's interference, the rest of the Yellow Turban forces successfully crushed the last of Sun Jian's stronghold.

How did your visit went?

He tells me to wait for a promotion.

Has your fire been extinguished?

Guo Jia, I fought for peace. And soon, everything will fall into place. Your suggestion-

Then why worry? Lead your men to toil the fields, discard your weapons, hold trades in the marketplace -

Your Master is worried as well.

I should go. How are the finances?

We'll never collect enough taxes to pay everyone here. You know that.

You'll manage.

I see.

Tsk.

Is something the matter, Lord Difen?

No, my lord. I should be going. I... have something in my mind.

The fire's gone, but the warm ember still remains.

 

[RK47]

Spoiler

So it begins.

Their western subjugation will take years without you at its helm.

But without the military funds - I cannot rally my army from here.

Even so, we cannot comply to Lord Zhang Liang's orders - we lack the funds to carry out his domestic policies.

Would he not approve my transfer to the front lines?

He would, and you would end up isolated. It is doubtful that we will follow you to your new assignment.

Guo Jia - I'm driven to a corner.

Would you rather let China fuck you instead?

I...

You should leave this city, travel the world. Seek out sagely advice - perhaps rediscover your hunger. At your current state, Pu Yang doesn't need you.

Three weeks later...

Ru Nan. They say a traveling fortune teller is making his stop here...

Master Xu Shao, would you care to grant me a divination?

I sense a great burden. It is one you yourself chose to bear. You felt eyes set upon you - and you lack the courage to confront it.

Master Xu Shao, I am not afraid.

Denial. You are disappointed and directionless. You eat, yet you taste nothing. You breathe, yet you smell nothing. You see, yet you comprehend nothing. You live, yet you achieve nothing.

Then...what-

Thousands have risked their lives for you - lords vie for your loyalty - many swore revenge against you - but only you dared to trample on your own glory and cast ambitions aside. Are you selfless or selfish? Are you a mastermind - or simply a clueless pawn? None of this is certain, save but one... *Writes on a piece of paper* This. This is what I think of you.

!

Seek out Yu Ji. The Way of Heavens awaits you.

Year 202 Month 1 - Shou Chun

Master Yu Ji, I was told to seek you out...

Boy, just concentrate. Not everything can be explained.

I don't get it.

Then you will get it. If you let me show you how.

Yes. I wish to learn, Master Yu Ji.

T-thank you, Master!

May the Heavens watch over you, apprentice.

 

[Azira]

Heroic Wizard, leader of men. Yep.

 

[RK47]

Spoiler

It's good to have you back.

Thank you all for bearing with my absence.

Commander, whatever hardship you're currently facing, we'll be by your side.

Let this old veteran finish his final days in battle, Steve.

I never doubted your command from the start, Commander.

Thank you. As you all know, we are facing a severe deficit to our treasury. Many officer's wages were delayed, and even I am forced to chip in and frankly, I'm all tapped out.

Commander, do not speak of it. It is no trouble. We are confident this is a temporary situation.

I wish that is the case, General Yuan. Guo Jia and I have discussed this over and over. And we've exhausted all alternatives in trying to keep our operations together.

Eh? We're splitting up then?

Not if we can help it, old man. Whoever disagrees with my decision are welcome to withdraw - I cannot begrudge you of that.

Cut down with the suspense already, what are we doing?

Gentlemen, we are revolting.

Wait - we're-what-now?

I've tried everything - I've won everything for this cause and look what it's gotten us - just a city. I'm long overdue for a promotion and so are you generals are due to govern cities.

Yes, it is indeed frustrating to see all of us limited to a single city...

Zhang Liang...that viceroy of ours is probably keeping you down, Commander.

That is what Guo Jia suspected, and regrettably, we'll never get what is rightfully ours unless we fight for it.

Chaos first, then Order - Dark Arts of War. Our military force is the strongest and most experienced in the region. No other Commanders and units have fought in over 50 battles and witnessed as many victories.

But Strategist, the entire Yellow Turbans army numbers over one million!

Liu Bang was severely outnumbered by Xiang Yu - but the latter is still defeated to form Han. Never underestimate strategies. We've went through so many hardships together and prevailed.

What Fengxiao said is true. He has gathered all the census information and defenses on each city for us to study.

By the Gods, they were our allies... Of course! They have no reason to suspect us!

A carelessness that will cost them dearly. Gentlemen, observe the cities in the Central Plains.

Xiao Pei is Zhang Bao's stronghold and is heavily guarded. That will not be our first destination.

But cutting off the head may trigger a meltdown in the chain of command...

Indeed, with Lord Zhang Liang busy in the western front fighting against Dong Zhuo, we have an opportunity to carve their core cities from within.

But our most immediate concern is gold. We need gold to pay our men.

Surely my lord remembers the northern bounties that were denied by Lord Zhang Liang?

How careless. Most of the northern territories are barely garrisoned and is laden with gold.

With speed and precision, we can raid the whole northern lands without pause. Seizing a few cities' worth of military funds - we can build a power base from there.

Strategist, forgive my interruption. Would it not be wise to stay in the Central Plains instead? Many of them are fully developed, and very prosperous from many years of peace we've bought them. For example, Chen Liu. Our former stronghold is only guarded by just a mere 17,000 men.

An interesting observation, General Yuan. Taking Chen Liu would offer us... a much tastier morsel - but response from Zhang Bao's main garrison will be swift. Not to mention the garrison in Bei Hai is quite sizable.

I like Xiahou Yuan's idea. Daring and brilliant, they'll never expect us coming. Zhang Bao is overconfident and will surely underestimate us. Let him come, and we shall take his head.

My lord, it seems you have rediscovered your flames.

I might've gained a few new tricks - like wizardry...

Yer a wizard now, Harry?

Shut up, old man. Alright, assemble the rest of the officers - I'm about to make my announcement.

All Hail Lord Shi Difen!

Down with the corrupt! Let us reclaim our rightful bounty!

Comrades, the days of Han are over - but the battle is not yet finished! Tomorrow, we harvest not crops, but men. Men's lives - those who dare to steal our dreams and stand in our way - a million shall oppose us but we shall scatter them like dirt beneath our feet!

Victory or death! Down with the Yellow Turbans!

Long Live the Divine Commander!

Guo Jia - thank you.

Don't thank me yet, we're only getting started.

Year 202 - a new storm gathers in the Central Plains right within the heart of the Yellow Turban Empire.

My Lord, Shi Difen has cast aside our banners and revolted! Pu Yang's army is now marching towards Chen Liu!

The audacity! Ready my army! We must crush them before they grow stronger!

Lord Zhang Yan! Surrender and I shall be merciful!

Traitor to the Heavens! Hell awaits you!

A guard dog like you should wag its tail to his new master.

Finish it quickly.

Fire!

Scatter!

Men! Into the city! Now!

Push on! I want this city taken within a week!

Retreat! The enemy is too strong!

Seize the treasury!

Commander, we've found 10,000 gold.

Distribute the pay accordingly and let's claim this city.

 

[Azira]

Yer a wizard now, Harry?

OK, that one got to me.

And so it begins. What does the wizard and hero skills actually do?

 

[RK47]

Yer a wizard now, Harry?

OK, that one got to me.

And so it begins. What does the wizard and hero skills actually do?

NAME: Hero
EFFECT: Private units are free, since any peon would willingly die for
such a charismatic leader. As a vassal, you can freely recruit any free
officer you see, regardless of your orders. As a rogue army, you can
simply persuade a vacant city rather than besiege it. When entering a
hostile city, you can challenge the guard to a debate rather than dueling
him.

Verdict: Kinda useless at this point. Why? See next.

NAME: Wizard
EFFECT: Allows you to baffle the guards of hostile cities with your
amazing magical abilities, allowing you to enter the city freely. In
battle, it allows you to use the lightning command, presupposing that you
have the Geo and Aero skills.

Verdict: This isn't the Steve you're looking for. As for the battle effect, that one we'll just have to see it when we get into battles.

 

[Elfberserker]

Long live Lord Shi Difen!!!
Down with the corrupted Yellow Turbans!!!
:kwafuckyeah:

 

[RK47]

Spoiler

Thank you, my lord.

Man, it's about time we get paid. Hehehe.

There's more where that came from, now our next move is t-

My lord! Urgent news! Zhang Bao's troops are marching to Pu Yang!

It would appear he is attempting to capitalize on Pu Yang's weakened numbers.

We've only got 2,000 footmen rookies in garrison. It won't last long.

Looks like a big fish is coming...

Time to reel it in then! Empty the treasury and let's move out!

What the hell?! But we just got here!

Outskirts of Ru Nan...

Men! Stay alert! They could be anywhere. Cao Hong, any news from Chen Liu?

Lord Zhang Bao, I'm afraid Chen Liu has fallen. Scouts reported the Yellow Banner flies no more.

So fast.

Report! Lord Zhang Bao! The rebel army is marching out of Chen Liu!

What?! Where are they headed to?

They're coming right at us!

Huh!? Are they insane! Men, prepare to engage!

Wait, Cao Hong! Stop! Reverse course! We must return to Xiao Pei immediately!

What? Why?!

My Lord, with all due respect - we have the numerical superiority! Why do we need to cower behind our walls?

Cao Hong, you weren't there when he joined us.

Who? When who joined us?

The rebel Commander we are about to face. We lost Chen Liu back then - and he lead a daring counter-attack the very next week. His name is...

Shi Difen.

Zhang Bao.

 

[Azira]

Gundams again?

 

[RK47]

Spoiler

The terrain is treacherous, advance quickly to seize the advantage!

That stream will provide excellent defense. Setup ambushes by the forest.

Commander, weather condition's changing...

Have no fear, continue to advance.

The sky is clear, multiple enemies spotted.

Burn their ground and prepare an ambush!

Commander, I've crossed the river with no problems!

Good, back up Xiahou Yuan.

Huang Zhong, advance forward and ambush!

Surprise, niggers.

The surprise attack killed 2,000 troops while leaving the enemy unit dazed and confused.

Pull back and prepare another ambush.

Ha, look at them fleeing from the flame into our trap!

Retreat into the forests and prepare for another ambush!

Curses! They're toying with our forces... Cao Hong! Counter attack!

Tower! Open fire!

Commander! They have a siege tower!

Hm. This is most unexpected.

Fear not, it is nothing but a mere toy when handled by fools.

I'm taking fire here! They just destroyed my cover!

Support Archers - continue to rain arrows from across the stream!

Fireeee!

Man Chong, retreat from the siege tower's range and hide in the forest!

How about some fire to crisp things up?!

Fire eh?!

A mere breeze won't be sufficient to counter our strategy.

Don't be so full of yourself, boy.

Keep firing till they're dead!

One enemy unit down!

 

[RK47]

Spoiler

Supporting Archers! Stay back and wait for an opportunity!

Yeah you kids stand back and let Uncle Huang handle this!

Incompetent buffoons! I shall take direct command of your unit!

Looks like they're fleeing into the river. Hahah, sooner or later, the current will be their downfall.

Commander, Cao Hong commands a heavy siege unit. I doubt he will come any closer for the ambush to work.

Very well, do as you see fit.

Men! Move to higher ground!

Better call on the winds as well.

Tsk, so he is familiar with the Heavenly ways as well...

Release the catapult!

Huh?!

Shit, it narrowly missed me!

Look at them cower! Cavalry, charge forth and destroy Xiahou Yuan!

Oh no!

Heheh, caught a small fish here...

Flee for your lives!!!

Come on, who's next?!

Lol, noob.

Setbacks after setbacks... No! He will not humiliate me today!

General Huang, prepare another ambush!

A pincer attack? Yes, Sir!

What's wrong, Zhang Bao? Never seen a strategy in action before?

Your hollow words won't save you! Man Chong, divide and conquer!

Only the ninth day and over 30,000 killed. Maintain this momentum and we'll sweep them aside.

 

[RK47]

Spoiler

Hahah! Like shooting fish in a barrel!

The enemy is in disarray! Let's finish this!

Fools! All of you are a disgrace! Fire the catapults!

Commander! Take cover!

That attack is too inaccurate and unreliable, but still, it's best to take precaution. Get into the forest!

Curses! Nothing is going my way!

Don't give up hope! Attack!

As if I'll yield that easily!

You foolish mortals wish to challenge me?! So be it! Heaven's wrath upon you!

Wuaaaghh!

By Hermione's butt! What the hell just happened?!

Commander! The men, they are afraid! And a fire has started where the lightning struck!

So that's what Yu Ji taught me... without rain - there can be no lightning. I better go calm the men.

It's nothing more than trickery!

Sink Cao Hong's ships!

Xu Zhu, you baboon! Eat some arrows to the face!

How dare you defy me! I'll have you all killed!

What?! When did he get close?!

Pursue him! Dammit! He escaped!

No matter. We all know where he's fleeing to.

Yes. Like a rat, he will corner himself. Men! Rally yourselves! The battle is not yet over!

Heaven is dead! Onward!

 

[RK47]

Spoiler

Is this how you repay my kindness?

What kindness? You were the one who needed my help. I killed He Jin for you. I brought down the Han for you - and all you did was reign.

Zhang Bao, you said Heaven is dead, but claim to use Heavenly powers. This time, I'll make sure it stays really dead.

See those trees next to the city gates?! Set up ambushes there and scale the walls when ready!

Men! Up we go!

Gotcha!

The enemy unit is still confused! Finish them off!

Your officers lack discipline, Zhang Bao!

At least they are not devoid of loyalty!

I'll shut him up, Commander! Man Chong, get up here and give me a hand!

I'll be right there with you!

They've scaled the outer walls! Lord Zhang Bao, we must fall back!

Nonsense, we've more troops here! Why should we fall back?!

Chaaaarge!

Three of their elite units have scaled the walls! Your Highness, the situation is dangerous!

Xiahou Yuan! Clear the walls and advance!

Affirmative!

Our men have abandoned the walls!

A small number of infantry deployed their battered siege tower and attempted a weak counterattack.

HA HA HA! Is that all?!

Zhang Bao is vulnerable! Finish the kill!

Huh?! Where is he?! Above me?! No! BEHIND!

All of the officers have surrendered, as well as their men.

Recruit the willing, spare the rest.

Yes, Commander.

Unhand me! You ungrateful-

Zhang Bao, Heaven no longer shines your path.

You must be joking if Heaven advocates betrayal!

Was it not your words that swayed me in Luo Yang to betray my master? Only to use me and cast me aside like a tool once the Central Plains is yours?

You are a bloodthirsty, warmongering dog! Peace has been undone in the Central Plains and for what? Your selfish ambi- HMMPPPPHPHBL!

Take this mantou as offering to your elder Zhang in hell. Men! Witness the hypocrisy of the Yellow Turbans as their downfall begins today!

Execute this monster in the name of Righteous Might!

No sins shall go unpunished! Off with his head!

Long live the Great Protector!

MMmmMMHmmmmghh! *CHOK!*

One down...

And another million to go.

 

[abnaxus]

The updates flow fast.

Got new keyboard bro?

 

[RK47]

The updates flow fast.

Got new keyboard bro?

Just finished painting the wall. Will update when I finish KFC.

 

[PotatoElemental]

Honestly, I think the mouse is even more unbelievable...

...unbelievably delicious, that is.

 

[RK47]

....just ate 8 over sunday.
Never again.

 

[RK47]

Spoiler

So, my brother was slain...

My lord, please exercise caution - Shi Difen's revolt is threatening to engulf the Central Plains.

You want me to return and let Dong Zhuo threaten us from the west?

My Lord, have you forgotten the amount of talented officers, not to mention a veteran army that has survived over 40 battles undefeated that Shi Difen commands?

Fool! I am not afraid of him! He is just a man! Guards! Dispatch a message to every prefects in the Northern and Central Plains: quell the revolt - or heads will roll once I return!

At once, my lord!

Gentlemen, we've hit pay dirt. Forty thousand gold in the vault and enough supplies to last us for years.

It would be prudent to redistribute those supplies to the other cities and garrison them with adequate defense.

I agree - I think I shall appoint my first prefect. Cao Ren!

Your Lordship?

I leave you in charge of Pu Yang.

I've also assigned a group of officers to assist you.

Thank you, my Lord!

Take these troops, gold and supplies and protect the city.

I shall set off immediately!

Good, now with that over with, let's check out what this city has to offer us.

Not much aside from the gold and supplies we plundered. This is mostly a city of scholars. It has no military building of value. And population is too low to support an army draft.

Ah, no matter - we return to Chen Liu then. Guo Jia, have you sent a message to Mao Jie?

Yes, I've sent Man Chong to deliver the message. It's possible he may accept your invitation.

Alright, let's hope he makes the correct decision. Pack everything back up and lets go.

Year 202 Month 2
Shi Difen's Army left Xiao Pei and left it totally undefended. Yet none of the Yellow Turbans dared to make a move.

 

[laclongquan]

You should have changed mode from ambitious young worker into cult leader.

After all, you are the strongest magician of that peasant revolt, and like to cast magic in battle.

 

[RK47]

Spoiler

Chen Liu

And with that, our army is ready to march once more.

Leaving behind a few thousand to guard this city might be prudent. Chen Liu is too valuable to lose.

A good suggestion, how's the rest of the Central Plains looking right now?

Chaos, confusion everywhere. Lord Zhang Liang is dogged down in Western campaign - and most of the Central Plains are not geared for war. We are wolves among sheep.

Then it's time to devour more prey while breeding our pack.

I've split the army, Steve. We're ready to ride any time.

Good. Onward to Ping Yuan!

A short crossing of the river and the battle commences.

Sir! They're here! The rebels of Chen Liu!

Blast! None of the nearby cities are willing to send help! Fine! Then let's try to inflict as much casualty as possible! For Lord Zhang Bao!

Guo Jia, who is the Garrison Commander of this city?

Tian Chou, a somewhat above average intellect.

Aw, c'mon! The gates are barely holding together and their number's lesser than half of ours! Let me go wild, Commander!

Go for it.

Sui Gu! Brace yourself at the walls!

The forests right outside the gates are very inviting for an ambush, don't you think?

Good eyes, Commander! I'm on it!

Those bastards! Charge men! Charge out of the gates!

Simpletons!

Surround them! Let none escape!

Beat the drums! Let them know their defeat is assured!

Long Live the Divine Commander!

My loyal followers! Scale the walls and bring me the head of their commander!

Fuck- I gotta get off the walls! Men! Move!

Yeah, get down there so I can shoot you better from up top!

Release arrows! No mercy!

They're severely wounded! Charge in to finish the job!

Hah! Nice try! But you've got to try harder than that!

Oh yeah?

Lecherous old man! Men! Hide beneath the gates! None shall touch us there!

Sure. Flame arrows, release!

Ha ha ha! Last chance, Tian Chou! Surrender! Or be destroyed!

My heart shall not waver! Go ahead! Attack me if you dare!

It's raining, Heaven is crying. It's crying at me to destroy their wayward children...

Bullshit. Impossible, he can't possibly-

Repent.

Return your lives to God.

 

[abnaxus]

Kublai Khan = Shi Difen reincarnation

 

[RK47]

Spoiler

I have good news.

What is it?

Your sworn brother, Mao Jie agrees to defect. He has raised our banner in Wan.

Wonderful.

However, he is isolated.

Send him a cadre of officers while we think of a plan.

We have a more pressing issue, however. The northern cities are still ripe for picking.

Nan Pi lacks a commander in its garrison.

That amount of gold is worth losing a city. Let's go.

Hm. It would appear Dong Zhuo is not as strong as we thought...

Easy money.

Damn it. That's fast!

We'll never be able to make it in time. Your brother is on his own. But this should prove to be a sufficient distraction for us to attack another nearby city.

Guo Jia, who is this man?

An incompetent fool.

Very well. Men! Act accordingly!

Such foolishness.

Is that all you've got?!

Xiahou Yuan, set him up for a second ambush.

An excellent combination of tactics, my Lord.

Tsk! He escaped capture!

Aiming for a third day victory now?

I'm getting impatient.

Don't worry, my Lord, we'll get him this time!

Men! Get off the walls and start charging onward!

That man is too stupid to live.

Come on! Is that all you've got! Enemy commander! I demand a duel!

You think I'm scared of you?! Come! Let's settle this!

That ambush has thrown his men into disarray. This duel is his chance to settle morale.

Or one way to kicket to Pwncity.

 

[PotatoElemental]

Gongsun Gong got dunked.

I bet Xiahou Yuan's cup of wine was still warm when he came back to his tent.

 

[RK47]

Gongsun Gong got dunked.

I bet Xiahou Yuan's cup of wine was still warm when he came back to his tent.

TBH, I really hated the dueling mini-game.
It was like 6 layers of RPS in there. I guess that's how you play fighting game in turn based when every random feint and moves kept popping off every turn.
And if the WAR rating difference between two duelists is too large - that instant-ko happens.