Tacticular Cancer: We'll have your balls

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Let's get horribly raped in TFTD! Orgasm now running things!

Discussion in 'Codex Playground' started by GarfunkeL, Mar 14, 2009.

  1. GarfunkeL Racism Expert

    GarfunkeL
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    Click here and disable ads!
    Horribly intimidated by Sheek's superb teamplay-effort, I'm keeping my tail between my hindlegs and doing this one the traditional way. Conservatism ftw! (Disclaimer: I have never finished TFTD. I've never even been close. I also have not played TFTD for ten years or so. Pain & torment should be forthcoming.)

    EDIT: The Roster of Fallen Heroes for Attempt 1

    • Cloaked Figure hit by sonic burst
      Vault Dweller killed by sonic burst
      DragonFK slain by sonic burst
      Andyman Messiah messed by sonic burst
      Kaiserin ate a sonic burst
      Darth Roxor caught a sonic burst
      Zerotol didn't see that incoming RPG
      Lonely Vazdru didn't see that RPG either
      Skyway felt sonic burst
      Oldschool got slapped by sonic burst
      JoKa bursted apart thanks to sonic burst
      Dark Underlord whose back was not sonic-proof
      Annie Carlson got zapped for good
      Nedrah lapped up an alien pulsar
      Jasede followed suit
      Sheek was not resistant to sonic burst
      Dicksmoker got his brains fried by PSI
      Ashery went into little pieces
      OccasionallyFatal was oblivious to pulsars
      JarlFrank missed when it mattered the most
      SlavemasterT hugged some sonic boom
      Edward_R_Murrows was not small enough to avoid the sonic
      Oscarisaiah didn't watch his step
      Rico loved the bomb bit too much
      Marsal imitated Rico
      Slenkar did not want to be left outside the ring of pulsar fragments
      Andhaira faced sonic boom without earplugs
      Spacemoose ran when he was supposed to duck
      Korgan hugged the alien tightly
      BethesdaLove was loved to death
      Nomask7 bought the farm
      Gragt bite the dust
      Trash embraced oblivion

    The Roster of Fallen Heroes - Attempt 2
    • DarkUnderlord killed by a sonic burst
      Kaiserin eats sonic boom
      Sheek didn't watch his six for sonic-rape
      Skyway had his butt shaved by sonic boom
      Cloaked Figure had his number punched by sonic burst
      Darth Roxor loved the sonic boom too much
      Volourn was mangled by sonic burst
      Sceeqoo could not hide from the sonic
      Nedrah was splattered thanks to a sonic boom
      BethesdaLove was pummeled by sonic burst
      Oldschools left eardrum was weak against sonic burst
      JarlFrank went to ground in Egypt and never returned
      Annie Carlson hugged toxic barrells
      Vault Dweller tasted alien RPG
      Slenkar got fragged
      Andyman Messiah was bitchslapped to death by berserker-Annie
      Jasede got his lungs exposed by sonic boom
      DickSmoker gagged an alien RPG
      Ashery followed the example of DickSmoker
      Lonely Vazdru jumped in front of RPG
      WhiskeyWolf failed to doge an RPG
      Trash was tickled too hard by an sonic burst
      Zerotol loved the RPG bit too much
      DragonFK had bit too slow reflexes when the sonic came
      Hory sacrificed himself gallantly
      Azira was shot in the back by Hanoverf
      Mahdi was let down by his reflexes in the face of a sonic burst
      and I totally lost count after this since there were just too many casualties...

    The Roster of Fallen Heroes - Attempt 3
    • Bgillisp faced death bravely
      Pliskin ate an sonic charge
      Frau Bishop didn't check her six
      Oscarisaiah sacrificed himself for greater good
      Brazilian Slaughter faced "friendly" fire
      MaskedMan played with alien pulsars

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    FUCK YES.

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    We're not pussies around here, are we?

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    And here's our first base!

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    I'm building 2xLiving Quarters, Laboratory, General Store and Alien Containment. We're gonna need the living space for scientists atleast. I also switched the interceptor-subs to use Ajax+DUP and Ajax+Ajax. I sold the useless normal grenades and extra pistols and whatelse and ordered 2 more soldiers, a missile tank and 10 more scientists.

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    Medikit is naturally the first priority. I know that laser weapons in X-Com didn't require clips and were superior for that reason but I do not know if sonic=laser in TFTD. Oh well, better research them after medikit. Promixity motion thingy is probably as useless as it was in the original, not gonna waste time on that.

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    And here's our valiant heroes. The two soldiers who will soon join the team will be named after the first two people who reply with furry pics.

    CRAP!

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    I had hoped for more time before action, oh well, let's intercept!

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    YES! It's down. Hmm, I guess I'll take the chance and send the boys&girls in without tank-support or the extra 2 guys.

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    Allrighty, two thumbs up. Time to chew gum and kick ass!
     
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  2. Lonely Vazdru Pimp my Title

    Lonely Vazdru
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    Best of luck to you, and lots of courage. It is a giant task you are undertaking.

    You probably mean Gauss = Laser. Since Sonic is alien technology. For my part, I tend to skip Gauss altogether and go for Sonic as soon as I get an alien weapon, usually right after the first mission.
     
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  3. JoKa Augur

    JoKa
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    gauss isn't laser because it needs ammo...so yeah, skip it, it sucks.
     
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  4. Sovard Sovereign of CDS

    Sovard
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    The first couple of missions are retardo land if you down the subs with DUP warheads. It takes the crew of 3 down to one and kills most research capable ship components.

    My priority was taking a land-based mission and getting a 'deep one' to research for improved armor.

    Thanks for the thread. Hope it lasts.
     
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  5. dragonfk Erudite

    dragonfk
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    Great idea, though you're going to be sorry for picking Veteran level of difficulty. Good Luck soldier.

    PS. No furry pics but I allow you to name one of those Heroes after me . :cool:
     
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  6. zerotol Prestigious Gentleman Arcane Patron Undisputed Queen of Faggotry Dumbfuck Douchebag! Illiterate Sychophantic Noob Village Idiot Weasel Zionist Agent Repressed Homosexual Pretty Princess Possibly Retarded White Knight Übermensch Fargo Fanboy The Real Fanboy Beg Auditor Trigger Warning Sawyerite Sawyerist Sawyer's Bride Edgy Typical Modder No Fun Allowed Shitposter Vatnik Virgin Queen Cuck Developer Bethestard Manlet In My Safe Space

    zerotol
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    Yes name them after us, me too!
     
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  7. sheek Arbiter

    sheek
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    Why is it that the map is actually uglier in TFTD than in UFO?

    Are you using XComUtil? Don't know if you can use it after a game has started (if you don't select any of the optional changes)... maybe, but it's useful in that it memorizes equipment, produces logs and other things.
     
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  8. GarfunkeL Racism Expert

    GarfunkeL
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    Thanks for replies. No, I'm not using XComUtil. Guess I should try it out.
    We'll see how it goes!

    And here we go:

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    Atleast it's sunny & bright at the bottom of the Caribbean.

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    DU immediatly spots a nefarious alien thingy hiding on the rocks - and not enough TU's for aimed shot. Snap shot time! And BANG! It's dead - good job DU!

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    No wonder he's such an badass with a submersible rocket launcher, DU is a brotha!

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    Turn 2, on alien movement, we got reaction fire from an alien and Sheek returns fire, unfortunately missing the nasty thing. But moving slowly forward, Sheek finds the bastard and it's time to pop some zits!

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    YOU MISSED, NOOO! Dark Underlord to the rescue, with another snapshot waterjet-rocketthingy (how the hell does that even work?) AND THE BROTHA SCORES!

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    Team is spreading out, trying to find the alien sub.

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    Sheek finds the ship - good man!

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    Cloaked Figure spots yet another alien and takes a quick snapshot:

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    Nooo, he misses and the alien fires back:

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    Rest in peace, Cloaked Figure. Your bravery shall be remembered. Next turn, Kaiserin will avenge you!

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    Except (s)he misses. Dammit! VD tries to fix the situation, but he misses aswell! Sheek, it's all up to you now, don't let your team down man!

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    Aaaand he misses. I now have 3 Aquanauts visible to the Gillman with a big phallic weapon. Luckily they are pretty separated from each other but this could be bad.
    Expecting violent deaths, I press end turn... and nothing! The alien ran away! Obviously, it got scared, seeing mighty Codexians approaching. Actually, it did nothing. Just stood still... weird. Oh well, Sheek starts the round with aimed shot.

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    YES! He shoots, he scores, he downs an alien! And that was the last one:

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    Little loot.

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    Wut? Sheek shot one alien and got promoted, while brotha from the Hood, DU, blasted 2 aliens into bits and pieces and got no recognition? Obviously, there's racial segregation still going on in 2040!

    Back to geoscape, it's time to order a new soldier to replace poor Cloaked Figure. More scientists arrive as well as our new recruits:

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    Our tank also arrives, just in time as sonar spots a new contact:

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    And here we go again!

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  9. Make America Great Again Darth Roxor Prestigious Gentleman Wielder of the Huegpenis, Hater of Eternity

    Darth Roxor
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    Poor Cloaked Figure. We hardly knew ye.
     
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  10. zerotol Prestigious Gentleman Arcane Patron Undisputed Queen of Faggotry Dumbfuck Douchebag! Illiterate Sychophantic Noob Village Idiot Weasel Zionist Agent Repressed Homosexual Pretty Princess Possibly Retarded White Knight Übermensch Fargo Fanboy The Real Fanboy Beg Auditor Trigger Warning Sawyerite Sawyerist Sawyer's Bride Edgy Typical Modder No Fun Allowed Shitposter Vatnik Virgin Queen Cuck Developer Bethestard Manlet In My Safe Space

    zerotol
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    He is despised all over the galaxy it seems haahahahah :lol:

    Keep it up, its entertaining to follow.
     
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  11. GarfunkeL Racism Expert

    GarfunkeL
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    Into the belly of the beast since this time they are waiting for us!

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    Dammit, I forgot to buy more rockets for DU. Oh well, he'll just have to manage with 2 small rockets and that pea shooter.

    Let's play safe this time and send the tank forwards to do little scouting.

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    As soon as DU stepped on the "wing" of the sub, he spots 2 Aquatoids and launches a rocket, killing one of them. Dammit, should have aimed in the middle of them:

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    Our valiant tank sees another aquaman and blasts it from the surface... er, bottom of Caribbean:

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    Tank spots third Aquatoid, shoots hits BUT:

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    The filthy alien shrugs off yet ANOTHER missile and keeps steadily walking away.

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    Finally, with third rocket the alien is killed and mission ends:

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    And DU gets promotion too:

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    I bought more ammo for the tank and troops and 10 more scientists as well. Luckily the ammo arrived before next contact:

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    And here we go again!

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  12. oscar Tacticular Staff

    oscar
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    A fair bit easier to read then Sheek's too.
     
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  13. GarfunkeL Racism Expert

    GarfunkeL
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    Skyway is being a lazy fat bastard and can't get out of the ship while others run past him:

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    Tank sees an Aquatoid hiding on some wreck, takes a shot and it's wham-blam-thank you ma'am!

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    Tank recons forwards and finds the actual ship and it's a big one!

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    EEEK! Multiple aliens spotted walking inside but luckily they don't seem to care about our brave Aquanauts.

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    Meanwhile, fat Skyway has barely got away from the Triton.

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    SHIT JUST HIT THE FAN! While I was bringing more troops to the doors, getting ready to assault, they decide to open fire and our boys respond in kind!

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    Screenshots are pretty messy but there was atleast 1 alien killed, maybe two. Lots of shots fired and unfortunately, one casualty - Vault Dweller is now playing the Heavenly Flute on greener pastures.

    Blood and honor guys! ASSAULT! Sheek rushes in, spots an Aquatoid and let's him have it with autoshot, killing the baddie.

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    Team goes in and forms on the two inner doors, ready to unleash reactionary hell!

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    Unfortunately, aliens get to shoot first and we have second casualty: DragonFK. Edward_R_Murrow shoots back but either misses or only wounds the bastard.

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    Lonely Vazdru advances and spots two bastardly creatures!

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    Time for autofire! Vadzru kills one of them but does not have enough TU's so Andyman Messiah gets the honor of killing the second one.

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    FUCK YEAH - TAKE THAT YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!

    Team goes deeper into the ship, but those two were the last ones. Another success!

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    Rest in peace, Vault Dweller and DragonFK. You shall be mourned.

    More scientists arrive in the base and I sell useless extra alien stuff. Wonder who's willing to buy it? Oh well, as long as they pay in cold hard currency, it's all good with me.

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    General Stores are built, when sonar beeps for another contact!

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    Take that bitches!

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    Let's assemble the team, though replacements for VD and DragonFk have not yet arrived. Still, we got the mean rocket tank so should be allright.

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    Here we go again!

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  14. GarfunkeL Racism Expert

    GarfunkeL
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    Oh right, I need names for the replacement guys - any volunteers? Furry pics not necessary but always a plus.
     
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  15. sheek Arbiter

    sheek
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    Buy more guys so somebody can be promoted to Lieutenant or Captain (TFTD equivalent). It will reduce morale effects when you start losing soldiers.

    Good LP!
     
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  16. Make America Great Again Darth Roxor Prestigious Gentleman Wielder of the Huegpenis, Hater of Eternity

    Darth Roxor
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    Me

    D:
     
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  17. JoKa Augur

    JoKa
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    sign me up..for Codexia!
     
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  18. oldschool Scholar

    oldschool
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    I'll go, captain.
     
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  19. Nedrah Erudite

    Nedrah
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    I want in
     
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  20. Make America Great Again Jasede Prestigious Gentleman Arcane

    Jasede
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  21. GarfunkeL Racism Expert

    GarfunkeL
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    Thanks for the compliments Sheek. Unfortunately, I don't have room for more than 10 soldiers until more living quarters are available.

    Unto the Breach brave soldiers!

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    GILLMEN SPOTTED CAPTAIN! TORPEDOES AWAY!

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    That tank is such an sweet, sweet machine of destruction. <3 <3 <3 it!

    Yet another Gillman who eats hyper jet torpedo rocket thingy up its ass.

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    I'm keeping the troops around Triton until tank recons the area and finds the ship. Too bad the tank doesn't improve with experience.

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    Bastards are shooting my tank in the rear, luckily it wasn't destroyed.

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    Damn, damn, damn, damn - tank missed its snapshot. Let us pray for the stregth of the Machine Spirit and its armor plates!

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    Incoming fire! OH NO! It hits the Horsey!

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    They killed Horsie! Andyman Messiah is wasted :( Tank also took some hits but Machine Spirit is still strong. I'm maneuvering troops into better positions.

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    Fuuuuuck, now the Machine Spirit is really screwed. It missed Aimed Shot, is nearly dead, there's a Gillman just infront and another one behind it.

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    WHOA! Multiple reaction shots during aliens turn, resulting in atleast one alien killed. AND THE MACHINE SPIRIT LIVES!

    Sheek takes a snapshot on a wandering Gillman, scoring a kill! Sheek is awarded a medal and some shoreleave for this if he survives this mission.

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    Gillman manages to miss the tank right infront of it! It must have graduated from the Imperial Stormtrooper Marksman School

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    The murderer of Andyman Messiah is in the sights of Dark Underlord - LET 'EM HAVE IT!

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    YES! DU scores a kill as always. DU - you're the man!

    Machine Spirit FINALLY whacks the elusive Gillman. There's still one left somewhere here though.

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    Ah, there's the bastard, unfortunately no TU's left.

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    During alien movement, Gillman took 3 shots and missed all of them. NYAH-NYAH!

    Zerotol finds the alien, takes a shot with his Heavy Cannon but only manages to wipe out a piece of oceanic plant-life.

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    Again, feeble aliens just parade their scaly asses around. Then it's X-Com turn

    Machine Spirit sees a sea-demon and unleashes hell!

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    Sweet destruction. Meanwhile, foot soldiers march forwards to the alien sub, though it turns out that was unnecessary. Score one more for the good guys!

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    Back at base, I again sell extra stuff, order a replacement for Horsey Messiah and receive our new recruits:

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    Sheek is wounded so off to the hospital and no shoreleave. Pretty nurses should be enough for you, soldier!

    Finally our research project is finished:

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    Workshop will churn these out ASAP and labrats get their next project assigned:

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    Just when I think that maybe the team will have a short break, sonar beeps out it's usual warning:

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    I send Barracuda-2 to intercept but the sub lands down. I fiddle my thumbs for a while, but the arrival of a new recruit helps my decision-making progress:

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    Sheek is still at sickbay, chasing nurses & candystripers but with the mighty Machine Spirit protecting us, we cannot fail! ONWARDS!

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  22. Lonely Vazdru Pimp my Title

    Lonely Vazdru
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    Death rate is heavy on this game, particularly in the beginning if you don't reload like mad. We'll probably all get different incarnations, if you go to the end that is. Nice thread so far, thanks. The first two X-com games really are the shit.
     
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  23. zerotol Prestigious Gentleman Arcane Patron Undisputed Queen of Faggotry Dumbfuck Douchebag! Illiterate Sychophantic Noob Village Idiot Weasel Zionist Agent Repressed Homosexual Pretty Princess Possibly Retarded White Knight Übermensch Fargo Fanboy The Real Fanboy Beg Auditor Trigger Warning Sawyerite Sawyerist Sawyer's Bride Edgy Typical Modder No Fun Allowed Shitposter Vatnik Virgin Queen Cuck Developer Bethestard Manlet In My Safe Space

    zerotol
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    Fuck i cant believe i missed that shot. :?
     
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  24. Make America Great Again Darth Roxor Prestigious Gentleman Wielder of the Huegpenis, Hater of Eternity

    Darth Roxor
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    Dammit, I have some pretty shitty accuracy.
     
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  25. Elhoim Iron Tower Studio Developer

    Elhoim
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    Add me when you have a chance. I want to take revenge on Vinces death.
     
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