Putting the 'role' back in role-playing games since 2002.
Donate to Codex
Good Old Games
  • Welcome to rpgcodex.net, a site dedicated to discussing computer based role-playing games in a free and open fashion. We're less strict than other forums, but please refer to the rules.

    "This message is awaiting moderator approval": All new users must pass through our moderation queue before they will be able to post normally. Until your account has "passed" your posts will only be visible to yourself (and moderators) until they are approved. Give us a week to get around to approving / deleting / ignoring your mundane opinion on crap before hassling us about it. Once you have passed the moderation period (think of it as a test), you will be able to post normally, just like all the other retards.

Completed Let's experience Bioshock Infinite, the Citizen Kane of games [COMPLETED, THE NIGHTMARE IS OVER]

Lemming42

Arcane
Joined
Nov 4, 2012
Messages
6,043
Location
The Satellite Of Love
I've been playing a lot of older FPS games recently so why not play a Vastly Superior modern FPS?

I ignored this game when it came out because I thought Bioshock 1 was absolute shit. I saw Infinite on sale for like £5 on Steam during summer and bought it, then immediately forgot about it and never installed it. I noticed it on my Steam list this morning and, after a bullshit 18~ GB download, it's ready to play. Here we go.

Warning: glorious 1920x1080 screenshots to follow.

Before we even get to the main menu, I get some screen that tells me to adjust the brightness with a reference image. Fair enough. I adjust it exactly as it says to, and then-
F2t5hmk.jpg

Boom, shitload of bloom right in my goddamn face. No way is this the correct brightness.
mxgn9Kt.jpg

I'm playing it on hard, because I don't fuck around. :bunkertime:
lF0BSdR.jpg

Good intro. Guess we play as a guy called Booker, who will from here onwards be known only as Fucker.
E9438AM.jpg

Og9LEvs.jpg

We begin on a boat where I am paralysed and can move only my head. I take a look around at the crap wave effects. In front of us, two dorks are talking.
nnukjHJ.jpg

The woman in front gives Fucker a box which has a gun and some other shit in it.
wmU11gu.jpg

3 hours later we disembark and go up onto some dock thing. The FOV feels wrong, but I can't be bothered adjusting it. There's only one way to go, so we proceed up the stairs to the lighthouse.
Xee0UcQ.jpg

Inside and up the stairs, we find a sinister warning!!!! Fucker exclaims.

The game also tells me that I can pick up money and useful things in boxes. In pretty much every container is either money, food or both, so I move through the lighthouse chaotically devouring and/or collecting everything in my path.

7m7VFm0.jpg

There's some bells at the top of the lighthouse. Before I even have a chance to look at the fucking things, Fucker produces the solution to the puzzle. I didn't even press anything, he just got the card out and shoved it in my face. Puzzles are for gay nerds, I guess, it's way cooler to have the solution literally handed to you. Anyway, we ring the bells in the order on the card.
iG1jig7.jpg

Doing so causes an Oblivion gate to open. In the chaos, I rush to a nearby barrel and cram cereal into my face.
ynKVuKR.jpg

After about 60 years, the lighthouse door opens and a chair comes up from the floor.
sthpgQc.jpg

Just in case you're finding the game too challenging at this point, Fucker suggests a course of action.
xzMwSXR.jpg

Fucker sits in the chair and gets owned as bindings appear and a rocket constructs itself around him, his head inexplicably turning 360 degrees to take it all in. His gay cavalry pistol falls into the engines below, and the chair tilts forward so Fucker can see, just to taunt him.
02k6lBB.jpg

We take off into the completely featureless sky, and Fucker hyperventilates and cries.
fPxWV9w.jpg

Skyworld, yay. We're forced to sit and watch the boring sights of the city go by from a crappy little capsule. Sound familiar?
Look at that bloom, too! Remember back in the day when people thought Half Life 2 had excessive bloom?

The ride goes on for a little while, and at the end of it I get an achievement. No, really, I got an achievement for walking up a linear path to a lighthouse, sitting in a chair and watching a cutscene.
hIC21fy.jpg

Fucker descends into some vaguely steampunk-esque place. There's a godray effect which is cool at first, but pushed way past it's limit and ends up looking retarded.
Uyd7bIF.jpg

Have you come seeking the light?
katseOE.jpg

Here's a book that I can't read or do anything with. Let's try tapping N to see what kind of hints it gives us.
joY6APy.jpg

I actually laughed at this. A huge green arrow shoots forward telling you precisely where to go. I guess we can guarantee that there will, at no point whatsoever in this game, be any kind of challenge in finding where to go.
Da5G5n3.jpg

Voice logs!!! It's like I'm really playing System Shock!
OSRhpNa.jpg

More horrific bloom, although admittedly it'd make a half-decent wallpaper. There's a big room ahead with lots of prayer lanes, but I can't move outside the one I'm already on for some reason.
0778M3N.jpg

A dumbass blocks the path. I try to squeeze past him, but an invisible wall stops me.
EFXXC8t.jpg

We are offered a baptism, which we must accept. Have a look at the crowd, rougly the same character model with slight alterations is used about 5 times.
orzrz5i.jpg

Fucker almost drowns, and then the priest forces him back down again for a laugh. Fucker passes out after approximately 8 seconds underwater, holding the record for possible the shittiest breath-holding time ever.
vQKgax4.jpg

We now cut to the office of Private Investigator Sam Spade, on the hunt for the Maltese Falcon.
fucXmoX.jpg

Some dudes outside are demanding that Fucker hand over "the girl". Fucker refuses.
0X1AAcC.jpg

Opening the door reveals this. You go ahead and explain it, I dunno what's going on.
jCAVGzW.jpg

Fucker awakens to find some weird statue things leering at him.
Pap8Nvu.jpg

We're in the city now, I guess. Seems like a good point to end the first part of this probably-failed LP.
 

Scroo

Female Quota Staff
Patron
Staff Member
Joined
Mar 17, 2010
Messages
1,865,340
Location
Too far away from the sea
Codex 2014 Codex Year of the Donut Shadorwun: Hong Kong Divinity: Original Sin 2
Heh, good luck. I played it on PS3 and thought it was absolutely horrible. Still I played through the entire game even tho I really hated it :gumpyhead:
 

Lemming42

Arcane
Joined
Nov 4, 2012
Messages
6,043
Location
The Satellite Of Love
Alright, second part. This game just gets shittier as it goes on.

Yx8S7kI.jpg

I made a friend :happytrollboy:
dIJ7yg5.jpg

IT'S THE NEXT GENERATION OF VIDEOGAMES! THE CITIZEN KANE OF GRASS TEXTURES!
JyzE7Pc.jpg

Here's shitlandia. I managed to throw myself off the platform and into the abyss below. There's a flash, and you teleport back to safety. No joke. The game is scared to kill you, in case you get mad at it. There's no penalty at all.

So, after 5 minutes of hurling myself over the safety rail and trying to land on other platforms, I pushed forward.
WLaCfK2.jpg

If this game didn't take itself so seriously, I'd almost assume the excessive bloom was a joke.
gw16Azq.jpg

They sure are the gayest quartet.
i8uhppf.jpg

This couple was dancing to the gay quartet. Look at her. Look at the despair in her eyes.
h37efwr.jpg

Down the street are some kids playing rock paper scissors. Guessing what they'll pick next is a game-within-a-game, and way more fun than actually playing Bioshock Infinite.
NdX683p.jpg

This telegram is thrust into Fucker's hand. Don't pick #77, eh? Let's hope Fucker remembers.
MkPr801.jpg

This prick is going on about Vigors, which are Bioshit: Infaggot's version of plasmids from the original crappy game.
There's a carnival up ahead, and you can play some of the fairground games. There is no reason to do so, because they all fucking suck.
qOQ5k3z.jpg

THEY CALL ME GATO
I HAVE METAL JOINTS
BEAT ME UP
AND EARN 15 SILVER POINTS
cWgMcbZ.jpg

I drank some shit that this chick gave me and I went on a trip. I now have the POSSESSION ability!!!!! I fired it at a bunch of things and nothing happened. Eventually, I fired it at the ticket thingy at this big gate and it opened.
MdvQGGS.jpg

Yeah, that hook looks COOOOOL. What's a vox?

jEp7YZN.jpg

Again, preventing you from figuring this out yourself, Fucker smashes his hand in your face just so you're aware how cool and subtle the scenery in this game is.
We get to the raffle, where we're forced against our will by the shitty ultralinear game to walk over to this chick and pick a ball at random.
ib0iRtO.jpg

Yeah, fuck it. You were told 5 minutes ago not to pick #77, Fucker, but yeah, who cares. Just pick it up. I can't do anything to stop you, the game only lets me have control when it feels like it.
erQxtRo.jpg

MY GOD, THE COMMENTARY IS SO SUBTLE!
We get the choice of throwing the ball at this couple (who I guess are meant to be race traitors or something?) or at the announcer.
TPpPoQn.jpg

CHOICES AND CONSEQUENCES!!! GAME OF THE YEAR DECADE CENTURY! THE CIITZEN KANE OF GAMES
I chose to throw it at the couple.
GWUyGfq.jpg

Before I can throw it, this cop notices the symbol on my hand (took them long enough) and I get owned. I looked it up and, apparently, choosing to throw it at the announcer has the EXACT SAME outcome.
n9hy3w5.jpg

Fucker turns into a psycho and rams the cop's face into his buddy's claw-hand. His buddy underreacts, showing complete neutrality. This turns everyone in the goddamn city hostile.
pWzNVp2.jpg

I decided I didn't really want to gore anyone else, so I decided to run for it. Luckily, Fucker runs as fast as Sonic the Hedgehog while these guys move about as fast as a glacier.
I ran directly in front of a turret, which opened fire on me. I walked (not ran, walked) past some pistol-wielding cops, who also opened fire on me. Despite getting shot at least 50 times, I didn't die. In fact, I still had a quarter of my health left when I reached the end of the area. Just a reminder that I honestly did choose "Hard" at the main menu, so I've come to the conclusion that you LITERALLY CANNOT DIE IN THIS GAME.
iY2ispz.jpg

A fire-dude appears. Fucker deals with him by shooting him a couple of times, in one of the easiest boss fights ever. I was directly hit 3 times with explosives, and am still alive.
1yF19j6.jpg

The fire-dude dropped a bottle of the vigor he was using (?!?!) and Fucker drank it without me having any say in the matter at all. Cool effect seen in the screenshot above. I can now shoot fire.
KuphxKJ.jpg

So I run inside a house and this woman gives me a drink which causes me to gain a shield bar. Cool power up?
No, actually, it's not a power up. It's permanent. It also regenerates, but not just when you're taking cover - it regenerated WHILE I WAS BEING SHOT AT at one point. As if the game needed to be any fucking easier.
9yCFsON.jpg

My claw-hand is magnetic, allowing me to Spider-man-style fly around the city. If this sounds stupid, it's because it is. As dumb as I can make it sound through text and this screenshot, nothing beats seeing it in motion.
9J7Yx2J.jpg

Not sure why this screenshot was taken. Probably just to show the message. Also note my Vigor bar. It's practically impossible to run out of vigor-power for more than about 10 seconds.
2l6camf.jpg

g02zucC.jpg

lol
If you leave these guys alive, they hold off the cops. If you shoot them, the cops burst in. Not that it matters either way.
VAHZd5o.jpg

I got so bored with the game that I ran out into an open area and stood, letting them shoot me because I wanted to see what happened if I was killed. After about 50 minutes of being shot, I died. I found myself behind this door. Opening it took me back to pretty much the exact spot I died... with all the enemies I had killed remaining dead.

There is LITERALLY NO PENALTY FOR DEATH AT ALL. Oh, actually, there is, you lose some money, boo-hoo.
M3oIb1f.jpg

Maybe the critics should have called Infinite the Birth Of A Nation of videogames instead.
ivPyGEX.jpg

It's the Happy-Happy cultists!
Fun fact: you literally can't lose if you keep tapping V, the melee key. Fucker just locks on to whoever is nearby whether you're facing them or not, and you can't be hit while doing melee attacks.
oH1Dbsz.jpg

That radio report is probably meant to shock you, but it's technically 100% true. Fucker gored a cop and then ran around gutting and shooting everything.
748nZw7.jpg

MAI FAMIRY
When you open the door, the Chinese dude gets owned by a flock of crows who eat him. You then have to fight another KKK guy, this time one who can shoot crows!!! When you kill him (which takes about 10 seconds) he drops his Vigor. We can now shoot crows. I used the ability once and then removed it forever, it sucks.
6rvsgjr.jpg

So now we use the claw-hand to ride on the tram line. Wheeee! What fun. We can't move or do anything much, so we have to sit and watch the shittily-rendered city go by.
U0oZRzf.jpg

Hey, it's Father Elijah.
Comstock dumps a lot of exposition here. I'm not following the plot so I haven't got a clue what's going on.
e8rrz4E.jpg

I shot this praying dude's friend in the head, and then shot around him. He didn't care.
4cerLnE.jpg

Even though Comstock ordered his men to stand down, we're attacked again 5 seconds later. hurrrrr
99sGEi4.jpg

4iFti9K.jpg

Correction: I CAN'T hurt you. This sucks.
dHreoDx.jpg

She sets herself on fire for no reason. Inexplicably, this sets the rest of the airship on fire!!!! It's an action-packed dash to the exit!!! Can Fucker make it???
LwXCVOe.jpg

Yes, he can, and I stood in the collapsing airship for a wihle just to make sure that there was literally no way to fail. Here we are at the doors to Monument Island. Good place to stop.

tl;dr: this game is terrible.
 

Baron Dupek

Arcane
Joined
Jul 23, 2013
Messages
1,870,765
I told you, Bioshock games are terrible shooters and games in general, yet you cannot say bad word about them, hater. Seems like they have some defence team (that fing good plots&stories in rubbish mess like Biococks).
r00fles!
 

Lemming42

Arcane
Joined
Nov 4, 2012
Messages
6,043
Location
The Satellite Of Love
In this exciting installment, we meet Ken Levine's daughter.

SU1hDlc.jpg

hurr hurr dunno if ill be able to obey that command lololol
1BcKRZ2.jpg

Fucker uses the Faith-from-Mirror's-Edge method of operating elevators - that is to say he smashes his fist into the button.
SYy4awQ.jpg

What a fuckin pervert.
6pC44mJ.jpg

Through a one-way mirror we can gape at Elizabeth. Why is she so off-model compared to every other NPC in the game? She looks like a shit rejected Disney princess.
Also of note: we can't leave the room. We are forced to sit and wank over Elizabeth while she walks around the room like a dork.
KskMh95.jpg

Hey cool, it's Super Mario 64. Ken Levine's Daughter rips a hole through this painting, and we're briefly transported to Paris. Wooooooo.
rIsJuzF.jpg

Yeah, agreed, Fucker. This game gets more and more dull by the second.
Vs0WvNF.jpg

Yes, Fucker, you can do this, because you literally cannot fall. I tried to vault over that safety rope and the game won't let me.
Here's something I found that explains this sequence pretty well (spoiler-within-a-spoiler!):
tumblr_muaaglffoL1re1sgdo1_1280.jpg
Fucker makes it safely to the other side, and then falls through the floor for no reason, into a library.
N53vHI7.jpg

Sorry to DROP IN, sweetheart :cool:
rj0HYp7.jpg

She's just about ready to bash Fucker's skull in with The Principles Of Quantum Mechanics, but his mighty masculine hand stops her.
koDD5xx.jpg

Fucker gives her a key (where did he get it?) and she opens a big metal door. "It's a way out!", she says, shocked. Well duh it's a way out. She lived in this tower her whole life and never thought "hey, maybe there's a way out behind that huge locked metal door"?
VO75ws5.jpg

It's high-octane adventure and excitement as we race through the collapsing corridors of the tower!
Why are they collapsing, by the way? All we did was open a door.
QpF0k47.jpg

Yeah, nice one, Fucker. "Wait! Please don't leave me! Don't save yourself, come back for me!" What a dick.
YSibWM1.jpg

Hey Elizabeth, I'm FALLING for you :cool:
6JxCnRi.jpg

I fell into the ocean and this dude showed up.
DGwSrKu.jpg

We now return to (your favourite 1940s Noir film here).
Anyway, this sequence is pointless. You open the door and that's it.
cr8d6mG.jpg

DR FREEMAN I PRESUME
She gallops off to go listen to music while Fucker passes out, having nearly drowned.
He awakes later.
Yzhc5SK.jpg

Yeah, nice job you two. A man was lying in front of you partially submerged in the ocean, clearly unconscious and you just did not give a shit.

Let's end it here for now.

Genuine question: How the hell did this game get such high praise? Yeah, I know, bribed critics and whatever, but why was the player reaction so positive? I can't see anything of worth in this game at all. Even for some shitty popamole casual who just wants to shoot shit in an FPS, this game would fall flat. Shitty tedious endless boring combat, paper-thin crap pretentious story (from what I've seen so far), ass graphics and a grand total of three weapons.
 

Scroo

Female Quota Staff
Patron
Staff Member
Joined
Mar 17, 2010
Messages
1,865,340
Location
Too far away from the sea
Codex 2014 Codex Year of the Donut Shadorwun: Hong Kong Divinity: Original Sin 2
Genuine question: How the hell did this game get such high praise? Yeah, I know, bribed critics and whatever, but why was the player reaction so positive? I can't see anything of worth in this game at all. Even for some shitty popamole casual who just wants to shoot shit in an FPS, this game would fall flat. Shitty tedious endless boring combat, paper-thin crap pretentious story (from what I've seen so far), ass graphics and a grand total of three weapons.

You just fail to realize how incredibly DEEP this game is! I hope you manage to play on and finish this LP so you can experience the best plot twist of all time! Oh my, what a twiiiiist!
 

Cassidy

Arcane
Joined
Sep 9, 2007
Messages
7,922
Location
Vault City
Genuine question: How the hell did this game get such high praise? Yeah, I know, bribed critics and whatever, but why was the player reaction so positive? I can't see anything of worth in this game at all. Even for some shitty popamole casual who just wants to shoot shit in an FPS, this game would fall flat. Shitty tedious endless boring combat, paper-thin crap pretentious story (from what I've seen so far), ass graphics and a grand total of three weapons.

 

Lemming42

Arcane
Joined
Nov 4, 2012
Messages
6,043
Location
The Satellite Of Love
This time, absolutely nothing of note happens. This post actually covers quite a large segment of the game, but it was so boring that I have hardly any screenshots for most of it.

38d6Xlh.jpg

Hey, I'm starting to think this city might be racist!!!
1rQCQMJ.jpg

Fucker finds Elizabeth dancing with some MANSLUT.
myhKDfx.jpg

I'm in control of Fucker's actions!!! This is reactivity at it's finest!!!
We can't do anything until we press F, so here we go.
AGkGwJj.jpg

Fucker agrees to take Elizabeth to Paris. She starts running at light speed while Fucker's fat ass struggles to catch up.
imTQW7v.jpg

She can take care of herself in combat, can she? We'll see about that soon.
Ada5VjK.jpg

I get a choice of which of these shitty things to inexplicably get for free. I chose the Bird, but I'm not sure it matters.
Elizabeth picks a lock in a ridiculously small amount of time. Fucker is impressed.
pZvXajg.jpg

Why don't you show me what you can do sweetie :cool:
ihoZv8A.jpg

Cool city. I like the sudden black/white colour change on the word BETTERS. Like that Star Trek episode with the people who are black and white.
VJUVbkt.jpg

This guy gave me some Magic Clothes that give me Special Skills!!!
Equipping the +2 gloves of wanking (actually, it's some pants that let us regain health when we kill enemies), we continue. Actually no, we don't, because Elizabeth has to gawk at everything first. Did you find Alyx annoying in Half-Life 2? Imagine that but 20 times worse and you have Elizabeth.
FGXpanF.jpg

Cool, I guess Elizabeth is the protagonist now because she's doing all the talking while Fucker slinks pathetically along behind her.
Soon, there's a trap. You have the choice of drawing your gun or doing nothing. I chose to do nothing and this happened:
JOoDb6L.jpg

Owned.
7kWfybh.jpg

"DON'T WORRY, SHE KNOWS HOW TO HANDLE HERSELF IN COMBAT!"
87TYL67.jpg

Elizabeth is upset that Fucker gored 5000 people in the casino or whatever it was, and she runs onto some tram-like thing. We have to follow her.
d3qGH9L.jpg

Yeah, we've killed about a million people at this point. Our body count is higher than the amount of people that could realistically even live in Columbia.
qyU54m8.jpg

Says the fucked-up looking rejected Pixar character.
She gets over her objections very quickly, because this story and its characters are fucking stupid.
acWNMnk.jpg

I have a stupid blue bandage on my hand now.
oSZzyA5.jpg

A door blocks the path, but Fucker wrenches it open with his mighty masculine muscles!!!
AsZSGIi.jpg

We're in a civilian area now. Because I'm not in the mood for this shit, I opened fire on the guy in the information booth, then turned to fire on those people sat on the bench. Elizabeth, who had freaked out a few minutes ago when I defended us from assassins, has no objections whatsoever to this.
Here's a scene from the rampage.
x3tzdIw.jpg

axJeFS1.jpg

lol
also note the cop running towards the window, all he did was stand there and scream a couple of times without doing anything until I shot him.
There's a couple kids in the bar. Shockingly enough, they're invincible. Their parents aren't, so I shot them both. The kids didn't care.
4N0Tkeo.jpg

We can't get on this gondola because this thing has run out of "Shock Jockey", whatever that is.
We can get some at the Hall Of Heroes, apparently. So instead of calling for a repairman or whatever, we take a ridiculously dangerous trip across the city to get there.
On the way, in an elevator, Elizabeth opens a "tear".
sA1GW8y.jpg

That huge bird from earlier shows up and she closes it. Fucker whines about the event.
By the way, now that I have Elizabeth with me, when I die I now get a really dorky scene where she resurrects me:
8r95k0P.jpg

This happens even if you're in the middle of a fucking warzone, so I guess she just drags you to safety away from a crossfire of 4 turrets.
Even though she doesn't have a claw-hand like mine, Elizabeth magically gets one whenever I jump onto a sky rail thing. So she can now irritate me all the way across the map.
f0XonJk.jpg

We arrive at the Hall of Heroes to find this guy. Some questions, now:
Who is this dead guy?
Who are we fighting?
Who the fuck are we? I know nothing about Fucker or Elizabeth.
Not only does this story suck, it's badly told.
psrRa2B.jpg

I got a laugh out of this. There's a sniper, but rather than doing what you'd have to do in EVERY OTHER FPS EVER and wait for the muzzleflash, the game just straight up tells you exactly where he is.
iUm6Yb2.jpg

We can find the Shock Jockey (what is Shock Jockey?) in here. The arrows guide us.
ndrdRh1.jpg

Not sure why I took this screenshot, but I'll use the chance to give you an explanation of what I think is supposed to be happening.
We're in The Hall of Heroes, looking for Shock Jockey (even though I don't know what it is). There's a guy called Slate, who Fucker apparently knows. He was in the Civil War with Fucker. He has a lot of soldiers under his command for NO REASON, and he's sending them to fight me in wave after wave of mindblowingly shit, tedious combat.
lwaPmyJ.jpg

Is this meant to be some meta shit? Like, "oh, you killed people without even thinking about it, you dick"? The game didn't even give me a choice and I don't give a shit about anything that happens, so this entire scene falls just as flat as the rest of the game.
skvYxfP.jpg

We must move through some museums about the Boxer Rebellion and the Battle of Wounded Knee, where Fucker and Slate apparently fought together. Because the developers of this game have no imagination or skill, it's just endless combat.
nZeg3sX.jpg

I think you're meant to think Slate's insane rambling is cool. It actually just makes an already tedious segment even more annoying. Also, I still don't know who Slate actually fucking is because the game hasn't told me.
6DKCEuW.jpg

She says this about 10 seconds after he directly states that he was at Wounded Knee. Guess she passed an [Intelligence] check.
8Q15DU2.jpg

It just goes on and on. Slate tries to do a psychoanalysis of Fucker, which fails because he's hardly even a character.
eOtiK2h.jpg

We get the crap revelation that Elizabeth is Comstock's daughter. Who cares. This line she says here is meant to be funny.

There's more *fun* ahead with endless battles against Slate and his soldiers, but we'll leave it here for now.

tl;dr: Elizabeth sucks and gets in the way, the nonexistent plot slides deeper into retardation, we meet a guy called "Slate" and have no idea who he is, the combat in this game sucks even though it's 90% of the game.
 

Scroo

Female Quota Staff
Patron
Staff Member
Joined
Mar 17, 2010
Messages
1,865,340
Location
Too far away from the sea
Codex 2014 Codex Year of the Donut Shadorwun: Hong Kong Divinity: Original Sin 2
There's a couple kids in the bar. Shockingly enough, they're invincible. Their parents aren't, so I shot them both. The kids didn't care.

:lol:

Don't give up. Play on easy if you have to (that's what I did after a while to get through the horrible combat faster) but don't give up, YOU HAVE TO EXPERIENCE THE TWIST!!
 

Baron

Arcane
Joined
Jul 10, 2010
Messages
2,887
Here's a box. Here's a cash register. Here's a trash can, go on... Delve through it. There might be a dollar in it.

Here's another box... -or have you checked that box? Never mind, check again! What's one more box. You just got an achievement for double checking those boxes.

Biobox Infinite... I couldn't pass by without knowing what was inside despite being thoroughly disappointed every single time before.


Honestly Ken, I just wanted to inject plasmids and run amok killing Christians with a drill bit arm! I was happy to stop and smell the flowers from time to time. But I just got sick of all the box opening, what kind of game was that??!
 

Lord Azlan

Arcane
Patron
Shitposter
Joined
Jun 4, 2014
Messages
1,901
I am incredibly jealous - getting to enjoy Bioshock Infinite for the first time - oh what I wouldn't give to re live that experience.

Not sure how I would rate it as a game but as an indication of where pc games might go in the future - it's something else indeed.
 

Baron Dupek

Arcane
Joined
Jul 23, 2013
Messages
1,870,765
I saw twist on some gaming board,exciting like that twist in first biocock.

So threat that playthrough as a katharsis - through the shit to enlightment.
 

Lemming42

Arcane
Joined
Nov 4, 2012
Messages
6,043
Location
The Satellite Of Love
I haven't played the game since Friday according to Steam's "last played" thingy, not because I was actively avoiding it but because it's so dull that I forgot that it existed. Nevertheless, there's more screenshots in the folder so have another installment. This time around, not a great deal happens, as usual.

VhtV368.jpg

A gate lies ahead. Elizabeth can fit through the bars, but bulky Fucker has to stay behind.
pppVi7W.jpg

Hey look, now there's tears everywhere. Fucker can order Elizabeth to open any of these tears, which will make whatever object it is real for some time. So, to get over the gate, we must open the Freight Hook tear, swing on the hook over the gate and land. I think this is a terrible excuse for a puzzle or something.
it5WFo0.jpg

All kinds of things are tears now. Isn't it weird how there were absolutely none up until Elizabeth mentioned she was able to open them, and then they suddenly sprang up everywhere?
NFwF0fN.jpg

Oh no! Comstock's ships! They're coming for Slate!
I haven't got a clue what's happening. I still don't even know who Comstock and Slate actually are.
Fv6gM5w.jpg

Because Comstock is here and Slate and I now have a common enemy to unite against... Slate attacks us. Durrrrrr
iIgqaGD.jpg

Words cannot do justice to the sheer boredom of this section. They just keep throwing out endless enemies at you, Slate sometimes taunting you. It goes on and on. It's just so boring. Throughout the fight, Elizabeth tries to help by screaming "BOOOKER CAAAATCH" and throwing us supplies. about 90% of the time, she gets the wrong thing, throwing me salts when I need ammo, money when I need health, health when I'm on 99% health, etc.
16isOZB.jpg

These robot things are clearly a favourite of the devs, because they show up around EVERY FUCKING CORNER IN THE GAME. What a shame that they're shit and boring to fight, just like all the other enemies.
Mercifully, the fight concludes after a while. There's no danger, by the way, because of the revival mechanic - which meant that eventually I used death as a combat tactic. So, for example, I'm cornered by two enemies. Why waste ammo when I can just let them kill me, teleport back to Elizabeth and ambush them from behind?
When actually allowing yourself to lose turns out to be a good way to speed up combat, you know you've got a piece of shit game on your hands.
Anyway, Slate's wounded!!! Fucker approaches him.
QGJGpjG.jpg

Why do I care whether this guy lives or dies? I have no reason to spare him at all, nor do I really have any reason to kill him. It just doesn't matter at all. I decided to spare him and Elizabeth got moist over it, apparently forgetting the fact that I've slaughtered thousands of people to get to this point.
yDteyu7.jpg

We finally get to leave Slate's shitty museum of hell. Now there's some weird new enemies outside. No idea who they are, and the game doesn't tell me.
09AQTxt.jpg

The journey back to use the "Shock Jockey" (which turned out to be a Vigor that lets you shoot electricity) is long and boring. Literally just going back across maps you've already been through, only with respawned enemies. I tried some stealth in the screenshot here. It actually worked (I might have just imagined it though), but Elizabeth charged out and pressed her face into some soldier guy's back, alerting the entire army. Another crap shootout ensued.
V8LgYNA.jpg

Fucker powers up the gondola and, wow, what a surprise, it stops mid-track and enemy ships appear!
I didn't take any screenshots of the battle because there's no real point, but you basically have to use the rails to get on the enemy ships, kill the enemies, then land as the gondola magically appears.
On the gondola, it's time for some REALTALK.
u7aq0sU.jpg

i-it's not like i like you or anything b-baka elizabethu-chan =^.^=
ITBjl96.jpg

The gondola takes us to an airship. We promised Elizabeth that we were going to Paris on it.
Despite endless soldiers lining every street in Columbia, this royal/presidential/important airship is completely unguarded.
KMvkMWE.jpg

Fucker tries to take the airship to New York or whatever, where he can turn Elizabeth in for a bounty or a debt clearance or something. Elizabeth realizes that New York is, in fact, not Paris, and gets butthurt. Fucker tries to explain himself.
unDmDex.jpg

For fuck's sake.
I walked away, but all the doors were locked. I waited, but she kept crying. I tried to launch myself out of the airship, but invisible walls stopped me. I have to talk to Elizabeth.
DJh5UHF.jpg

Some shit happens and Fucker is immobilized when Elizabeth changes the course, apparently knowing how to operate an airship.
sqRPdI3.jpg

Elizabeth bails, leaving Fucker alone on the airship. I don't know why there's a zombie at the side of the screen. Look at Elizabeth's face. It's meant to be really dramatic, like, she looks back and momentarily considers bringing Fucker along but then resolves to abandon him, but the facial animation is so unbelievably poor that she just looks like she's a bipolar person having an epileptic fit.
JW212YG.jpg

We awaken hanging off the stairs at the bottom of the airship (????) while it's still in flight. Black people slave away below. Hey, maybe this city is racist!
EThr2JM.jpg

A chick named Daisy Fitzroy has taken my damn airship.
sbCO0k8.jpg

Fucker whines and cries, but, rather than doing anything to actually get his airship back, he just cries a stream of endless tears and agrees to Daisy's demands. Apparently we have to get her and her "Vox" movement some weapons, which are waiting at a gunsmith. Why the fuck can't they pick them up themselves? It's never even explained why they need some random guy to do it for them.
THBo3zb.jpg

Fucker agrees to get the weapons (with no input from me) and they throw him from the ship. He survives a fall this high onto solid rock.
aDwibKG.jpg

Hey, what a coincidence, Elizabeth is right here. She starts running from Fucker, still mad about the airship fiasco.
We give chase, and in an outdoor area a "handyman" recognizes us.
ErI1aaC.jpg

He throws us through the air onto a ship, which Fucker illogically slides off the side of.
VNcfAgj.jpg

4KgchXG.jpg

As we fall, a tear blimp appears below us. Elizabeth saved us!!!! Yay!!! Awesome!!! Really great and cool.
rPDUyvy.jpg

The blimp floats up and Fucker gets his dumb ass interrogated by Elizabeth. She agrees to join us again.
9OAgiOU.jpg

Well, good, all is forgiven. Now we have to go to the gunsmith.

tl;dr: Combat, combat, combat, combat, cutscene, chase, combat, cutscene.
 

pippin

Guest


Genuine question: How the hell did this game get such high praise? Yeah, I know, bribed critics and whatever, but why was the player reaction so positive? I can't see anything of worth in this game at all. Even for some shitty popamole casual who just wants to shoot shit in an FPS, this game would fall flat. Shitty tedious endless boring combat, paper-thin crap pretentious story (from what I've seen so far), ass graphics and a grand total of three weapons.

A rule 34-worthy waifu?
I don't really know, but I do agree with you. Anything "new" that Bioshock Infinite tries (and by that I mean the hook thingy) is just an obnoxious thing which doesn't really help you, in fact, it's quite the contrary. Combat is the usual Bio crap: fight a number of trash mobs until a big shitty and annoying enemy (big daddy/handyman) appears and fucks you over, or maybe not, because in the end it doesn't really matter, because unlike first Bioshock, you even get some health and ammo back.
My guess is that mr Levine wasted all the money he had left on bribes and, when he realized he was going bankrupt, simply closed Irrational Games.
 

taxalot

I'm a spicy fellow.
Patron
Joined
Oct 28, 2010
Messages
9,613
Location
Your wallet.
Codex 2013 PC RPG Website of the Year, 2015
This game's big flaw is its genre. It's a dumb corridor shooter, it didn't have to be. Had they made it open ended with a Deus Ex like gameplay, extra features like night&day, schedules, it would have been awesome.

But they spent five years developping a corridor shooter. So fuck that game.
 

Lemming42

Arcane
Joined
Nov 4, 2012
Messages
6,043
Location
The Satellite Of Love
The plot suddenly appears out of nowhere, and it's dumb.

Hqx5ryY.jpg

Inside, more of the big chaingun robots chase us around. Very boring. We have to get to an elevator, but of course, the elevator magically doesn't work until we've killed a billion random enemies.
CDCMD66.jpg

"IT'S MY MOTHERS DIARY", Elizabeth shrieks at 300% volume. Turns out her mother locked her in the tower. Is that meant to be a big twist or something?
0B47QCH.jpg

We descend into Fink's lair. Fink is, I believe, the guy from the carnival at the start. He talks to Fucker on the phone which is, somehow, in the elevator. Took this screenshot because I thought her face was funny.
8ZsMtI3.jpg

If I didn't know better, I might think that this city is racist and classist!
We go to some Chinese dude's weapon store, which is where we can apparently find the shipment of weapons for Daisy. There's enemies on the street which chase us for NO REASON, just to fill out the game with more shitty gay awful combat.
Chinese Dude is not in his store. There's been a raid!!!!
Q7C6xXl.jpg

Fucker exercises his social skills to talk to Mrs. Lin. She ignores us.
VBamAPv.jpg

Elizabeth starts to comfort Mrs. Lin a little bit too intimately. Lin is "GONE", as you can see. We have to find him because somehow finding him will lead us to the weapon shipment that duurrrrr
J1UjFmo.jpg

Check it out, while she was playing an animation she became momentarily vulnerable to attacks and I shot her in the mouth.
Using her racial stereotype speak, she guides us.
aygzgTL.jpg

To reach Lin, we have to go through more horrible street combat. I decided to turn the difficulty down to Easy so I could get through it quicker.
I know it's called "Easy", but they should call it "Godmode" because you LITERALLY CAN'T LOSE in Easy mode.
lGz6Nn4.jpg

Yeah, thanks. Next it'll be telling me how to walk forwards.
U5o6Eei.jpg

The hint got stuck on the screen. This screenshot is making me laugh for some reason.
0X6UXwz.jpg

I want you to look at this area. Just look at it for a minute. Now imagine looking at it for about 20 minutes and you've basically experienced this part of the game. You're sealed in this shithole and "Fink" stands behind the curtain, saying semi-insane things and throwing out endless enemies at you. Sound familiar? Oh yeah, it's literally exactly what fucking happened with that Slate retard, and now it's happening again only it's somehow even more annoying this time. There's tears all over the damn place with mostly-useless shit.
8lhWp7f.jpg

This is, apparently, a job interview. If we survive Fink's inexplicable army of enemies, we've passed. This is as stupid as it sounds.
jqIIvEM.jpg

Wave after wave after wave. Who are these people anyway? I have no idea who I'm fighting.
Elizabeth is more useless than ever. "FUCKER, CATCH!" Wow, yeah, thanks Lizzie, I'd love to take the salts to fill my already-full salts bar, but unfortunately I'm getting gangbanged by the stupid chaingun robots that Ken "the dickhead" Levine thinks act as a good substitute for interesting enemies.
5suU7ij.jpg

He never shuts up. Elizabeth never stops doing useless shit. The enemies never stop coming. Remember that chick who got PTSD from Twitter? I'm starting to understand her.
a2lICKi.jpg

Probably some social commentary in what he says here. Who cares.
ftUM52u.jpg

I know what you're thinking. "Why do you keep posting screenshots of the same thing happening over and over"? Because that's what this game is. Same thing. Over and over. Nothing else to screenshot.
hGj1rNA.jpg

Tried a bit of stealth here. Look at Elizabeth. That's her idea of stealth. Of course, she gets us spotted and I have to gore more people because the door next to them can only be opened by their souls or whatever
OX3VNHc.jpg

lol
p3Flvnb.jpg

No idea what Fink is talking about. When will this shit end.
qG0E18u.jpg

lol Lin got fukkin owned
k6X6JVA.jpg

The creepy twins who have shown up a couple times appear and start talking in riddles. It's 2deep4me, so I don't bother listening. A tear appears where Lin's shitty busted broken corpse was, and leads to "another Columbia". Wow! It's like a really shit episode of Quantum Leap (and considering they were all shit, that's really saying something). Let's go!
3gFAGdx.jpg

No. No, I'm not ready. Please let me wander the linear path we took all the way here to see if I missed anything.
...
Of course I'm ready. Anything to get the game over with.
IWUjsTt.jpg

In Other Columbia, Lin is gone. These dudes are at the gates.
KI7Y69n.jpg

ty for clarifying, couldn't have figured that one out on my own even though you already told me 6 times
On the way out, I forgot to screenshot it, but the guards Elizabeth alerted earlier are alive but all confused with nosebleeds. Wow, if you die in the regular world, you're alive in this world but all fucked up!!! It's really good!!! This game can singlehandedly start another sci-fi boom!
8lCEnNe.jpg

Lin's back in his workshop, but he's all fucked up. He thinks there's machines, but there isn't, lol what a retard
Kgp6zWc.jpg

We go to see his wife, but she's white now. Cool. I guess that's the main difference between our own universe and this one.
AeQxkC2.jpg

White Wife Lin suggests that we go get Lin's tools. This, she somehow knows, will stop him being all whacked out.
ulpOk29.jpg

That's what her dad said when he inspected the broken condom that gave her life.
We fight (again) our way to an elevator. Elizabeth has a self confidence crisis!
mzReI2e.jpg

Fucker is Elizabeth's own personal Self Esteem Team, so he chimes in with the "no no ssh its ok sshhhhhhh look at my ultra-masculine hands shhhh its ok no no shh" bullshit.
KL2KZVZ.jpg

This is The Slums. Looks decidedly unimpressive.
Id21HZS.jpg

This is the stupidest thing the world has ever known. There's a group of starving people, and a tear right next to them with food. Elizabeth Christ opens it and feeds the hungry!!!!!!
4FZj2Ll.jpg

That guitar kid's face. Tempted to make it my profile pic on every single site.
FXD9OwP.jpg

COMMIE!!!!
ba05amM.jpg

lol, all visitors must submit to search but there's nobody manning the search station. ok
nGsqPbq.jpg

Inside, there's another big fight. Won't bore you with screenshots.
We find the TOOLS that we must GIVE to LIN to FIX his MIND. FUCKER realizes that we cannot TAKE the TOOLS, as they are too heavy. As luck would have it, a TEAR opens.
ZArDyzs.jpg

Because the tools aren't in the room in this tear, it's impossible that this leads to a universe where, say, Lin was never born, tools don't exist, the tools got destroyed, etc. No, it definitely leads to one where the tools are back at Lin's shop. Because opening the last tear turned out to be a really good idea, Elizabeth strongly advocates diving into this one. We have no choice.

That's it for now.

tl;dr: combat, cutscene, combat combat combat combat combat combat x999, cutscene, combat, short walk, combat, cutscene.
 

lightbane

Arcane
Joined
Dec 27, 2008
Messages
10,158
And to think that Ken Levine's avatar Elizabeth originally was even worse (complete with light sources on her tits, if I'm not mistaken :lol:). Why don't you try the hardest difficulty level? Artificially increasing the enemies' hp to over 9000 and thus turn everything into bullet sponges is what challenge is about, no? :M
 

As an Amazon Associate, rpgcodex.net earns from qualifying purchases.
Back
Top Bottom