Kodex Kommunistic Kolony in Rimworld, Season 1

[Lagole Gon]

The true question is if Ryan is trying to play them against each-other or if Azira was full on hallucinating to justify his murder to himself.

Pretty obvious if you ask me.

 

[Kalin]

 

[Ashery]

And with your luck, Azira would likely fuck up the surgery and kill you while installing it.

 

[Ulminati]

Since this is the closest we have to an official rimworld thread, I'll post this here for interested parties: https://ludeon.com/forums/index.php?topic=6261.0

"Prepare Carefully" now has a beta that works with alpha 13. similar to dwarf fortress. You have a # of points you can spend on either resources, or the skills of your colonists. It atill needs a little work. Traits don't give/deduct any points yet. But it's a fair deal better than mashing "random" for 15 minutes.

I'm gonna start a colony with just 1 colonist, stronk gear and all the points sunk into making Hans Übermann a true neanderthal.

 

[dextermorgan]

Grimwulf , solar generators don't interfere with wind turbines. Also, the reserved area of one wind turbine doesn't interfere with that of another, i.e. you can place them facing each other and use the same "wind tunnel" to power two (or more).

 

[Grimwulf]

Grimwulf's Captain Log

Winter has begun.

Are we ready for it? Let's see.

- Still no means to defend ourselves from possible attackers.
- Unfinished town hall.
- No private rooms.
- No warm clothes.
- Shitty weapons.
- Food stores will last us through half of the Winter at best.
- We don't have a single competent doctor or trader in our ranks.
- No real miners too.

We have a kitchen, freezer, power generators, half-arsed storage room, and Prosperwall. That's it. We wasted the entire Fall on this.

Speaking of kitchen, it's goodamn cold in here. Gotta fix this.

Kalin, are you sleeping?

Spoiler

... I was.

Alright, no problem. We can talk in the morning.

Curse you.

1st of Winter, 5500

Breakfast time, men! Only the best testicle shashlik from master chef Grimwulf!

Spoiler

This place is Hell. Grimwulf is the Devil.

Ryan is the true Devil of the Kolony. Grimwulf, don't ask me to visit him every day, traversing all that snow. I'll have to feed him, talk to him, deal with his hypothermia somehow. Such a waste of time.

Hrm. That's a problem indeed. Let's use the communication room as a temporary prison.

Hours later.

Spoiler

*Huff huff* That took longer than I thought.

Mr. Grim Wolf?

I'm not here for you, Ryan. I came for the bed.

Spoiler

Come 'ere, you wooden pussy. That's right. Thaaat's right.

It was, err, nice to see you! As always! *mumbles* I need to get outta here.

A bit later.

Today's meal.

Thank you, doctor Azira. It... doesn't smell right, but thanks nonetheless. How are you faring?

Spoiler

I'm fine.

I told you that revenge will help.

I'd rather not discuss it. Let's go, Ryan. You are moving to new home.

Huh?

Spoiler

Don't even think about it. I'll shoot your brains out before you make a few steps in wrong direction.

Yes, I understand. I am a prisoner, not a dummy.

You are my guest, Ryan.

Then maybe I shouldn't overstay my welcome?

What are you talking about? The best part is yet to begin. We are going to have so much fun together, Ryan. So much fun.

Meanwhile.

If we get rid of Ryan, all our food problems will be solved. We have enough to last the three of us through entire Winter. Just sayin'.

Spoiler

We also have enough silver to buy food from traders.

If they come by. Which I doubt, considering your, ahem, hospitality.

Yeah, yeah. You know what we DON'T have in sufficient amounts? Fucking stone blocks. Move your lazy ass, Kalin! Labour turned a monkey into Man.

There you are.

Spoiler

Ah, if it isn't our VIP guest. Look at you, Ryan. Escorted by our best sniper, provided with private room.

Spoiler

Sleep all day long, enjoy the best food brought to you by humble servants. Hell, you even get a heater and light. Is it comfortable enough? Maybe you want another pillow or two?

I, uhh. Don't know what to say, mr. Grim Wolf. Thank you?

Ahh, no need for words. Do I talk to a cow before slaughtering her? Of course not. It's just meat.

...

Join the Kolony, Ryan. Or I will ask Kalin to pay you a visit.

Let's go, Grim. We're not finished with the old prison.

Spoiler

We need to slavage whatever wood we can from this place. You drag it back to the base. I'll go and gather more *coughs* meat from Korea.

Dog balls, you mean? Tried them today for the first time. Now that I think of it... Urrrgh. You go ahead, Azira. I'll catch up.

Spoiler

Gawd, never again. That meat was foul. Keep it together, Grimwulf.

Spoiler

I would literally kill a man for a potato right now. *sigh*

Later that evening.

Grim! You there?

Aye, I'm in the dining room!

Spoiler

Brought more testicles. How's things?

Same old, same old. Building some chairs. You know what they say, "A house that does not have one warm, comfy chair in it is soulless."

Spoiler

As soon as slow-ass Kalin cuts me enough stone blocks, I'm gonna make a bootyful granite table. Dis gonna be gud.

Right. Any plans on the floor?

It's coming.

Spoiler

Days like these feel especially eerie. Nothing happens. At all.

Spoiler

Less work for space cops. I hope the entire Winter will be like that.

 

[Dreaad]

It actually looks like a pretty cosy place now. Like some sorta weird dacha retreat.

 

[Grimwulf]

Grimwulf , solar generators don't interfere with wind turbines. Also, the reserved area of one wind turbine doesn't interfere with that of another, i.e. you can place them facing each other and use the same "wind tunnel" to power two (or more).

Learn something new every day. Thanks, bruh

Like some sorta weird dacha retreat.

More like hobo/junkies hangout.

 

[Azira]

Look at that! Ryan got a new room, with a working heater and all! We are the epitome of hospitality.
He really should join the Kolony. If not, he's like to beset by cannibals or worse...

 

[Bliblablubb]

Sparkles being a dead man/womyn/CIS

Well, that escalated quickly.
I warned you all not to trust Azira in matters of life and death, but nooooo...

Welp, at least it will serve as a warning to a anyfag mistaking nurse Azira's medical "skills" as anything more than "put a sock on it until it stops bleeding".
I do wonder if doctor Kalinski would have fared better tho, not only is he a better doctor sock-user, but he also has a giant club to apply decent anesthesia.

 

[Grimwulf]

I do wonder if doctor Kalinski would have fared better tho, not only is he a better doctor sock-user, but he also has a giant club to apply decent anesthesia.

At this moment both Azira and Kalin have their Medical skill at level 4. Kalin has better learning potential, but he is usually needed elsewhere. You can even say that our slow progress is Kalin's fault.

Azira is equally bad at everything, and doesn't care to learn or improve. So you can't blame him for the sorry state of the Kolony.

 

[Azira]

Well, I care about shooting, animals and construction. Just not very much..

 

[Bliblablubb]

Azira is equally bad at everything, and doesn't care to learn or improve. So you can't blame him for the sorry state of the Kolony.

So Azira is a speshul kid, pilot of the shortbus.

Right now our colony seems more like a monarchy, where one peasant is exploited so the Azirastocrats can live a cozy life, instead of a true Kommu---
...
...
You know what? I take it back, this IS a realistic display of a tru Kommunism.






Hoping for the day Kalinski starts a glorious revolushun...

 

[Grimwulf]

*psshhhhh* Hello? Hello! ALLO, YOPTA BLYAD!

Hrmghrghrmm, fucking tourists. *psshhhh* General Ironballs speaking. We're closed tonight, come back tomorrow. Over.

NO CAN DO, comrade! Requesting immidiate assistance!

Can't you turn this thing off, Grimwulf? I want one night, JUST ONE NIGHT of goddamn sleep!

A bunch of bad guys are chasing me as we speak! You help me, I help you!

Spoiler

We could use an extra pair of hands, to be honest.

Hmmppff. Fine. What's your name again?

Just call me Dreaad.

Spoiler

Cheeki breeki.

Night from 1st to 2nd of Winter, 5500

Awright, Dreaad. I'm Grimwulf, elected for lifetime rulership of this dump.

I didn't vote for you!

This ain't a democracy.

One day I'll make this colony a police state, I swear.

Where are you exactly?

Just run north until you see a battlefield. How many people are chasing you?

Four of them, damn stalkers from Ghostface party.

Spoiler

Manbears.

*huff puff* What?

Nevermind. Are they armed?

Yeah. Handguns, shotguns, rifles. I think I see the battlefield!

Good. If you don't have warm clothes on you, loot some corpses real quick.

Spoiler

What the hui am I looking at?

Spoiler

Don't ask.

Spoiler

*panting* Done! Where do I go from here?

Look for the opening in the mountain chain. Like, a crevice of sorts. We'll meet you there.

*yawns* Define "we".

Come on, boys. We have work to do. I don't pay you for sleeping.

You don't pay us at all!

Exactly.

Spoiler

Azira, you go to the battery room. Kalin, follow me.

So, you have a plan? A tactical approach, no less?

Of course. I am a goddamn SPACE MEHRINE, after all. Bottle Brother! Oh, look - a body armor!

Spoiler

MAN, I'm looking BADASS!

AAAAAAAAW, FUCK!

Azira! What happened?!

JESUS! FUCK!

Spoiler

We have a FAT FUCKING CORPSE in the battery room!

Waa?

Hehehe. IS IT STILL FRESH?

OH, FUCK YOU, KALIN!

Hehehehehe. Oh, hey. You must be the Dreaad guy.

Spoiler

Pure Slavborn, and proud of it.

I'm Grimwulf. The one-eyed pigtails scarecrow is Kalin. The black viking with disturbing smile is Azira. Err, better keep your distance from that one.

Yeah, yeah, let's get this over with. Dreaad, go grab something sharp from the storage and come back here.

One leg here, another one there! *runs*

Can't see shit from the battery room, Grim. I need to stand a bit closer.

Spoiler

What's the damn plan?!

They come closer, I ambush them with my trusty SMG. You and Dreaad charge right after that and try to cut two of them from the rest of the group. Azira provides sniper support. BUT NO ONE ACTS BEFORE I OPEN FIRE! IS IT CLEAR?!

Yes, let's do it.

Where is that sunuvabitch Dreaad? The pirates are almost here. I can hear them.

Ready?

Yeah, yeah... Grim. Where is your SMG?

Huh?

Spoiler

Where is my SMG?

Fuck. FUCK! FUCK YOU!!!

Wait, did you take it away after beating me?

OF COURSE I FUCKING DID! YOU WERE BERSERKING!

Why didn't you say so earlier?!

HOW COULD YOU NOT NOTICE that you don't have a fucking SMG on you?!

Guys, GUYS! Enemy spotted!

FALL BAAACK!!!

Spoiler

*huff huff* Can't believe you forgot about your weapon. WEAPON, GRIMWULF!

*panting* Shuddup, I got it under control. AZIRA! COVER OUR RETREA-- eer, MANEUVER!

HEY, whatever backward rednecks live in this shithole! We are only here for Dreaad! Let's play it cool and--

*bang*

Spoiler

UGH, you cocksuckers! *catches breath*

That gotta hurt.

Spoiler

KILL THE BLACK GUY!!

*bang* I'm not black! It's just the light. *bang*

Spoiler

Oh, shi *closes the door*

Spoiler

*psshhh* Where are you, men? The bad guys have snipers too. Can't hold them any longer. Also, they are coming for me. This door will crumble after one solid kick. Come in!

*pshhh* Have no fear, Grim is here!

Spoiler

Where is Dreaad? Hey, DREAAD!!!

Meanwhile.

Nice place you have here, friend. Want to join the party?

Spoiler

Uhh, no. I'll pass.

I'm Dreaad, by the way.

Hello friend.

Hello, friend! What's your name?

*sigh*

*psshhh* Dreaad! DREAAD! Goddamit.

*bang*

Spoiler

AAAGH! DREAAD! YOU PROMISED MEEEE!!!

Kalin, you take the woman in white! And I'll show that maori dude in helmet why they call me Mr. Holemaker.

Spoiler

Oh, yeah! It's POLICE BRUTALITY time!

*Screams like Reb Brown*

Spoiler

*bang* GOT HER!

Spoiler

TAKE THA-- arrgh, ffuuck

Spoiler

Hrrrhgghghg, you shot me again... grim... wulghgh

*coughs blood* Blitz, Lilith! Take him prisoner! Ransom me and Dreaad!

Spoiler

NOW GO! RUUUU-- *coughs*

Spoiler

Put me down, you ffffuck.

HOLD YOUR FIRE, GRIM! YOU WILL KILL KALIN! I got this. *aims* Come on, Azira. Deep breath. *bang*

Spoiler

Hrhrhrh, stop sho-- shooting, you *coughs* fucktards.

AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! *charges ahead, shooting everything*

Spoiler

CHEEKI BREEKI MOTHERFUCKEEERS!!

Spoiler

You took your sweet time, Dreead.

D-Dreaad! My love!

Squad dismissed! Good work, everyone! Welcome to the Kolony, Dreaad.

H-help... meeee....

 

[Kalin]

You and your "friendly" fire...!

 

[Bliblablubb]

Why do I have the nagging suspicion our benevolent Commissar wants to recruit dat womyn to the crew after Azira's lack of skill made sure the KommuKolony stays a bachelor's pad? I mean: portrait. Only important NPCs get a portrait. Dreead hasn't even fully joined and Grimwulf has already an instrument for cruel torment for him in place.

 

[Azira]

Don't worry, the doc is in...

 

[Ulminati]

It's like the Sparkles surgery. Aziras subconsciousness is warning him of Kalins inevitable betrayal!

So what do Dreeads stats look like?

 

[Grimwulf]

Why do I have the nagging suspicion our benevolent Commissar wants to recruit dat womyn to the crew after Azira's lack of skill made sure the KommuKolony stays a bachelor's pad? I mean: portrait. Only important NPCs get a portrait.

You overestimate the amount of thought I put in the "scenario". It mostly looks like that:

Step 1: git drunk merrily

Step 2: wait for inspiration to hit

Step 3:

Step 4: wake up, read the last post, git drunk, repeat from Step 1

So what do Dreeads stats look like?

It's coming! Don't want to spoiler the upcoming day.

 

[Ulminati]

Cutting Putin out of the video is treasonous behaviour, comrade.

 

[Lizzurd]

It is time to post videos!

The soundtrack of this Kolony and this Thread:

 

[Dreaad]

I arrived just at the perfect time... to suffer through the winter

Glad to be rescued but that Kalin fellow seems a bit wimpy, got wrecked in seconds.

 

[kazgar]

Looting time!

And with another empath on board, ryan doesn't seem much use anymore.

If the centipedes hadn't been killed, could've snuck dreed around the prosperwall and left the pirates to the inferno cannon?

 

[Ashery]

And with another empath on board, ryan doesn't seem much use anymore.

Depends how the stats/skills compare. I've noticed that, early on, your main concern is primarily with the number of flames as opposed to raw skill, so even if it looks as though one is only skilled in Social, so long as they have development potential in other needed areas, they're worth keeping around. Even without that potential, though, having someone incapable of doing anything else but dumb labor can greatly improve the overall effectiveness of the skilled colonists.

 

[Grimwulf]

If the centipedes hadn't been killed, could've snuck dreed around the prosperwall and left the pirates to the inferno cannon?

We could try, yeah. Fortunately for us, there wasn't many of them.