Let's blindly play Space 1889.

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Well, there's space combat in this game, so I assume we can get attacked by super badass pirate ships or something, so that's what a super badass flyer is for. In any case, I just wanted you to participate and tell me what kind of flyer I should build.

And no cheating!! :godimsomadtheyremovedthissmiley:

Bee has > £24000, and our party account has another £20000. The other party members have some negligible sums. Meaning we can blithely spend up to £30000-35000 on a flyer, I believe, and still have lots of moneys to later spend on other thingies and stuffies.

Hey, cool, thanks for that!


I'll get to it. A bit later, though.

Oh hey look, someone who's actually enjoying the game!!

Thanks for the support, Duke! I'll keep it up, sure.

Hey, what I meant was... I wasn't... I mean... I didn't imply... Oh damn.

Update 9: Mars and a vashkt Geerman conshkpiracy

In which we fly, fly, fly, fuckin' fly (argh when will this end?), pew pew, and learn of crooked German plans!

First we must visit a bank to transfer some funds from the party pool to Miss Bee so that she could afford the flyer Azira designed.



Luckily for us there's a bank not far from Angkor and the ether port.



We pick Withdraw, 'cause that's the option to access our party account, and then choose Miss Bee as recipient.



In pennies!? You've gotta be kiddin' me. Ah well, whatever.

Bee now has > £43000. Should suffice for the flyer.



Dat flyer!





We save the game, just in case, and choose the Use flyer option from the ether port menu.



Fancy loading screen!



And this is the planet take-off/landing screen. The port is below, another ether flyer is here too. We could attack it, theoretically, but it's too fast and huge for us, so I'd rather not.



Reaching the top of the screen = leave the planet's orbit.



Reaching the left/right edge of the screen = nothing; we can side-scroll our way around the planet, theoretically.

And off into the space we go.



Oooh, shiny.

Course lets us plot our course. But first we should select Pariah Zeal as party leader, 'cause he's the one who can pilot and has the space atlas and navigation instruments in his inventory.

Mars is our destination.



And here's the list of constellations we should follow, just as promised in the manual.

Following constellations is a pain in the butt. The pictures of the constellations are given in the appendix, true...



...but good luck discerning those among those god-damned samey-looking stars.



Good gosh this game is a mess. I've no idea just where I'm heading. Not at all.



Oooh swell I've reached the end of the Inner Solar System (= the space we can explore).



This doesn't look like Mars...



...but we land just in case.



Venus.

Back into space.



Fuck this shit.



Whoa, the lucky ol' Sun. No landing there.



Hmm...



Yeah yeah I know, Mercury.



Oh wow just one constellation left till we reach Mars; splendid.



I can't fucking believe this.



Going down down draggin' me down





Time to read the f-ing Space 1889 manual.

The lore is the best only good thing about this game.



There's a city nearby.



The city of Ausonia.



Water is yellow (and chemical) here.



Weirdly paved roads!



Freakin' acshentsh.



This Hill Martian is the local bartender.



Stole his crown? Well, we won't be looking for it specifically, 'cause it's just another meaningless fetch quest, but we'll keep that in mind.



Hmm, a mansion?



Picking locks!



And meeting weirdos.



Totally nuts, this one.



Lookey here, a cave.



Sup, High Martian.



Ooh, you're a renegade. I'm in awe.



The renegade starts shooting at us, so we shoot back.



Nothing but entrails left of him.



That, and a Bolt Action Rifle.

And then we descend the stairs to level two.



More High Martian Renegades to slay!



And more!

Also, stairs to level three.



Kaboom! is the only way to proceed here.



We deal with another High Martian, and grab some Liftwood off his body.



Niiice. I remember someone offered to pay us some money for Liftwood we find -- someone back on Earth.



A prisoner? At least he's friendly.



A vast German conspiracy?




"Bee Crackeed"? Should be my new username. And I would sure look good in German uniform.

Next time: fly me to Venus, baby!

True that, they do look kind of similar.

10: Let's kill some Germans on Venus!

In which we do just that. Well, almost.

So what do we have here? Let me remind you.



On Mars, we rescued a prisoner called Zoho, and he told us the only way to gain entrance to the German HQ is by playing dress-up, i.e., the traditional German way. But first we must find a few German uniforms. Those can only be found in Venusstadt, which is, surprisingly enough, the capital of Venus.

Which means, to Venus we must fly! (I hate interplanetary fetch quests...)



So we go back to the Mars ether port and board our trusty ether flyer.



And then we plot a course to Venus.



I still haven't really learned to navigate those god-damned constellations, so I just wander aimlessly until...



Hell yeah, we've arrived.



Time to shoot some Germans!




Oh... what the fuck.

Our weapons have corroded. Turns out we can't rely on fire arms on Venus since they corrode almost momentarily. doesn't even begin to describe it... Anyway, our first objective: get some weapons we can use here.

Along the way, we get acquainted with the local fauna. Sup, Rexxie.



"All I can see is a dead body." Pariah sure isn't easily impressed.



Skulls all around. Those Lizardmen must be a rough bunch.

What, I didn't tell you anything about Lizardmen? Or about Venus for that matter? My bad. Here we go.

So yeah, those skulls are probably supposed to indicate just that: not all Lizard-Men are friendly.



Piles of steaming poo? Nope, campfires.



Scary thing(ie)s abound on Venus.

But where's a damn town? Any town?



Finally.



Ganis Mountains? Okay, whatever, why not.

Sup, lizard-man.



Nice weather we're heaving, aren't we?

(We aren't. All my best weapons are gone. )



Random lizard-men dwelling places.



There seem to be two lizard clans around here: Aphrodite...



...and Ishtar. I knew Greeks and Egyptians got all their knowledge from lizard-men!



Hello there, bartender.



Russians and Italians, eh?



The constable tells us the same thing, basically.

I haven't been able to discover any Russians here, though, and only one Italian:



"If yousu can g'entet m'ente a min'enteral d'entet'entectousr, I will shar'ente my 'entengin'ente'entering 'entexp'entertis'ente with yousu."

Guglielmo Marconi. Annoying "accent"-shtick aside, he wants us to fetch a mineral detector for him in exchange for a boost in our Engineering skill. Well, maybe... someday. Travelling around is a pain in the ass in this game, so I sure as hell won't be going out of my way to do all these stupid side quests.



Ah, a weapon shop!



Now that's a miserable supply of weapons... Okay, we buy some bows, knives, and swords. (Why don't knives and sword corrode, though? :? Ah, whatever.)



A German we meet inside one of the local buildings, Herr Carl Hoffman, wants us to acquire some amulet for him. The pay is good, so duly noted.

Alright, it looks like we're done here. As you remember, our goal is to find Venusstadt.



We discover a harbour to the west of Ganis Mountains, and buy a zeppelin there. Hopefully it will help us get to the capital of Venus.



Is this it? We return the flying transport to the nearby port and enter the town.



Venusstadt.




Inside one the buildings, we stumble on Phineas T. Barnum.



He offers to teach us Theatrics in exchange for a set of lockpicks. Miss Bee obliges.

Phineas T Barnum gives you enough knowledge to increase your theatrics.



I'm pretty sure Theatrics is a totally worthless skill, but whatever.



Miss Bee's Theatrics skill equals 3 now. Enough to fool any German that comes our way.



A nasty surprise awaits us inside the Governor's Mansion.



We aren't welcome here. But that isn't the surprise I meant. After all, who cares if we're welcome or not? True adventurers just go anywhere they want and take what they please.



The governor not being friendly isn't a big surprise either.



After all, who would willingly part with Shakespeare?

No, the problem can't be pictured on any screenshot. And that problem is: I just can't get neither melee weapons nor bows to work. They just don't work, dammit. Stripped of their fire arms, our characters just stand there motionless, not being able to attack the foe, whereas the foe, of course, attacks us no probs. Why? I cannot say. It's just the way it is.


It looks like we won't be able to defeat the governor and steal his Works of Shakespeare. And more importantly, we're going to be defenseless against the German forces. This is going to be problematic...

But anyway, back on track.

[

The local bartender can't stand the governor, too, but we can't do anything about it.



In a cave to the west, we grab some Bogweed. If memory serves me right, someone back on Earth wanted us to fetch some for him.



The description doesn't sound too appealing, but apparently the weed must have its uses.



And here we are: the German quarters in Venusstadt.



The guards aren't exactly friendly, and they keep shooting at us, but... we can't fight back. The only way for us to succeed here, is rely on Pariah's healing skills and just run through all the rooms as quickly and possible, away from the German guards.



Away!

In one of the rooms, we encounter a friendly Lizard-Man.



Damn sleazy lizard. We have to bribe him, and he won't accept less than £50.



He tells us to find Simon O'Rourke. We do indeed find him in another room.



Everyone seems to be equally corrupt around here. Simon too wants a bribe, and we part with another £50.



Well, at least the information is good. New goal: speak or deal with Colonel Oberst Hans Kurt in Thetis Mountains. Or both.

But first we've gotta find what we've come here for: the uniforms.



And here it is, a whole roomful of them.



Everyone takes two. Because why not?



Just splendid.

We run out of the building as fast as we can, then out of Venusstadt, and begin searching for Thetis Mountains.



Terrific.




Fort Bismarck you say? Just what we're looking for.



One scary space Nazi.



Oh my, he won't just let us in. This is an outrage!



And the door is locked. Good thing we've got those German uniforms, eh?

Now here's another trick that makes no sense and is annoying as hell. In order to fool the guard, you must equip each and every German uniform you're carrying. In our case, every party members equips two. Just imagine that.

(Wasn't funny for me, 'cause I almost rage-quit when equipping a uniform didn't work. This game is doin' nothin' but tryin' my patience, grr.)



Deep inside the fort, we discover Hans Kurt.



And a battle kicks in.



This isn't funny. I thought this would be the point I'd abandon the game and the LP. Not one of the characters could hit Kurt, at all.

...

And then it hit me. The fire arms only corrode after being used for some time -- a couple of turns, or something like that, since time is kind of slowed down when in combat. And we're thankfully still carrying a few non-corroded ones (thank God we took several spare ones with us). So what if we equip them mid-combat, perhaps we would have enough time to use them to kill Kurt then -- before they corrode?
Yeah, I'm an inventive bee.




Mission accomplished! I even had the time to disequip the fire arms and save them for teh future.



Which means I can go on with the LP. (For better or for worse...)



Off Hans Kurt's body, we grab a multi barrel pistol...



(why didn't it corrode for Kurt!? )



...as well as the German HQ pass we've been seeking.



Time to leave for the ether port and fly back to Mars!

Gosh this game is tiresome to be struggling with. Should've called this update "blood, sweat & tears". Stay tuned, I guess.

Update 11: German HQ: A Tale of Infiltration

In which everyone looks so friendly.

All right, so we have a German Headquarters pass now. However, before heading to Mars in order to get down to the infiltration business, let us return to the governor's mansion in Venusstadt and, now that we know the awful way fights on Venus work (note: see previous update), try getting our greedy hands on those Works of Shakespeare. Over the governor's dead body, of course. After all, it's Shakespeare we're talking about.



And here we are. Gosh, all buildings look the same in this game.



Surprise butt-shot! Bet you didn't see that coming, gov'nor.

(Naturally, just like in the last battle we fought on Venus, we only equip the fire arms for the duration of the battle lest they get corroded. The most bullshit mechanic ever? You decide.)



Bam bam pew pew nothing but a heap of entrails left. Well, almost nothing: there's also some loot. Hopefully the Shakespeare is intact.



Bah, no wonder the governor could barely scratch us, what with a weapon like that.



And there they are, the precious darlings.



Totally worth a corpse or two.



We exit Venusstadt, rent a zeppelin, and fly for the ether port.



You can probably imagine how glad I am to leave all that corrosion bullshit behind. I just hope we won't have to set our feet on Venus ever again!



Next destination: Mars. The planet that the Germans claim their own. Bah.



:headdesk:

I'll spare you another account of the frustrations of space navigation in Space 1889. You probably already know they're huge, and I'm feeling merciful today. Suffice it to say, the moment I find out the name and address of the person responsible for the follow-the-constellations gimmick, I'm calling Vilnius.



First let's buy new, real weapons in the city of Ausonia as well as sell the useless ones we were forced to buy on Venus.



There you are, my sweet sweet weapon shop!

WARNING! STUPID GLITCH AHEAD!



I ain't fooling you: this is arguably the most stupid glitch I've ever seen. Selling a Venusian dagger brings Miss Bee... hold you breath... more than £1,100,000! No, I'm not making that up. And that's not all of it.



Selling the Bow and Arrow brings her ~£1,100,000 more! Venusian makeshift weapons sure are in great demand on Mars.

We sell the Single Barrel next, and it only lands us the normal amount of money. So you can probably consider that glitch the game's interplanetary trade feature.

Naturally, that doesn't only happen to Bee. Whoever of our party members has a primitive Venusian weapon, makes an ungodly profit. Well, I can live with that, I guess.



Next we buy everyone (except Bee, who already has a 12-gauge Lever Action Shotgun) proper weapons: a Maxim for Miss Faith, a 12-gauge Scattergun for Pariah Zeal, and a 12-gauge Lever Action Shotgun for Earl Kazgar. We buy the ammo too, naturally.



Earl Kazgar has only 3 packs of dynamite left, so we buy three more for him, just in case we'd need to tear down some German walls later, haha.



Now that we're well-equipped, let's leave Ausonia and wander about the Martian landscape in search of Syrtus Major, the town where the German HQ is located. You haven't forgot we must infiltrate that, have you?



Doesn't take us long to find it, thankfully.



Now let's see what this shithole has in store for us.



Syrtus Major is stock full of Hill Martians.



These guys are... taciturn, to say the least.



Turns our there's an establishment in Syrtus Major called Skrill Arena.



At least that's what the Hill Martian above tells us.



He also tells us we can't enter it without a special kind of pass, so screw this. I never liked the arena feature in any other RPG I've played, and I very much doubt I'm going to like it in this, let's face it, half-assed product.



If there's a bar, there's a bartender.



And if there's a bartender, there are rumours. Unfortunately, the bartender only echoes my own suspicions about the Skrill Arena. And here I hoped he'd let us in on some dirty German laundry or something.



We also encounter a merchant, who has another generic fetch quest for us.



Bethesda's Radiant Story (tm) must have been copied from Space 1889.



To reach the German HQ, we must cross the huge yellow sand sea to the west. And that's what the sand port is for.



So we rent a sand boat.




Some fancy boat design there.



Hey ho, we've arrived.



Let's brave the German depths, then!



Two guards meet us in here.



They say we can only enter if we're German guards. Well, that's what those uniforms we have equipped are for.



The uniforms let us infiltrate the HQ easily. Baron von Gruber is on the third floor, however, so we must find the stairs first.

We meet some relatively talkative guards on our way.



They're all so friendly.




Suspiciously friendly. I mean, how do those bastards know we're explorers and not German guards? Aren't we supposed to be, like, disguised as those!?




I'm... not sure I like where this is heading. Or maybe the Germans are just a friendly bunch at heart? Maybe the rumours are false!???



Finally, we make it to level three. The door is locked, but we have the pass!



We use it, and voila, we are inside Baron von Gruber's private chambers.




The pleasantries continue here as well. Hmm.



Ooh yeah, judging by his looks, this must be the man.





tl;dr It's a trap. The baron and his men saw through our disguise right away. However, in the manner of all true villains, he gives a villainous speech that provides a clue regarding what we must do next. Namely, we must find that King Hattabranx fellow to learn the location of the Martian ship where Thomas Edison is being held hostage.

Easy peasy, of course, but first we have a minor nuisance to deal with.



The fight is complicated by the fact Baron von Gruber has a bodyguard as well as some heavy firepower.



Takes me two reloads, but eventually we emerge victorious. Let's now see what we can grab off the Germans' bodies.





A heavy revolver and a Gatling gun. No wonder the fight wasn't exactly a cakewalk.



And this looks like something plot-relevant. We better hold on to it.

Naturally, as befits a trap, all the German guards that were so nice to us on our way here are now hostile and trying to blow our brains out.



Damn backstabbers.



Anyway, let's go get those Martians. Foolish enough to ally with the Germans, they shouldn't be much of a problem. Right?