Leigh Alexander being a dumb bitchy cunt

[Korgan]

(stolen from RPS)
http://kotaku.com/5829606/ive-played-de ... t-together

When people ask me how someone with such a strong PC heritage came to be a nearly-exclusive console gamer—since that's what I am these days—I usually blame the Windows PC's rapid rise to power. My Apple IIe adventure gaming took me into the Mac Quadra and Centris era, and I could have played clicky Hypercard adventures and freeware games and stuff like Myst on them for the rest of my life. But then they put PCs in my school when I was in fifth grade or so and I had to learn to use them.

It was culture shock, having been cousins with computers since birth. It felt horribly ugly and backward. When we got them at home, it got worse. Suddenly, things I never had to think of: Drivers, resolutions, sound cards, compatibility issues. I would buy games and half the difficulty would be figuring out how to get them to run. I had to memorize specifications. I didn't like fighting the machines for my entertainment. I turned to the Sega Genesis and the TurboGrafx-16.

Of course, everyone went on playing PC games without me. In the school's computer lab, mute, hostile boys with thick glasses and greasy hands were losing themselves in mazes of muddy corridors, firing guns. They worshiped at the altars of faceless spacemen, of aliens spewing blocky blood. I was not invited to join.

I was mad at Doom, and at what it made the People on TV think that games were about. There were no more bumbling astronauts, funny pirates and friendly princesses, no more dreamlike, thoughtful journeys. And then there was some box all over the shelves with this sterile two-toned man, bathed in light like some nerd messiah. The box said DEUS EX and I didn't want to play it. By the time that game launched I had virtually married my PlayStation.

Seriously, what a bitch. And people wonder as to the reason for gamers' contempt of "GRRRL GAMERS".

 

[Korgan]

Nope, I was a slightly androgynous-looking boy with a vacant expression and a minor class celebrity. I just feel way more sympathetic for gamer geeks than shallow bitches who sneer at them, that's all.
(Seriously, btw, I was a bit of a prodigy until 12 y.o., always had a straight A in all subjects, save for phys ed, without putting in any effort. I burned out quickly, though, and ended up a lazy bored fuck.)

 

[Excidium]

But is she hot?

 

[Andyman Messiah]

So many psychological problems to point out, and I'm not even drunk.

 

[Korgan]

*I* point out all my problems myself, thank you very much.

 

[Andyman Messiah]

So many psychological problems to point out, and I'm not even drunk.

Who, Korgan or "Leigh"?

All of Kotaku.

 

[pocahaunted]

I would buy games and half the difficulty would be figuring out how to get them to run.

What a braindead idiot, should've been aborted.

 

[Roguey]

And even in the tutorial, they tell you to crouch without telling you it's X you should press. You should have seen me fumble to figure it out, jumping up and down, inexplicably swinging a crowbar, under the watchful eye of these hilarious glaring scientists wearing trench coats.

Well, I guess it's too much trouble to click settings then keyboard/mouse. It's always the first thing I do and some of Deus Ex's odd decisions need rebinding anyway.

 

[zeitgeist]

And even in the tutorial, they tell you to crouch without telling you it's X you should press. You should have seen me fumble to figure it out, jumping up and down, inexplicably swinging a crowbar, under the watchful eye of these hilarious glaring scientists wearing trench coats.

Well, I guess it's too much trouble to click settings then keyboard/mouse. It's always the first thing I do and some of Deus Ex's odd decisions need rebinding anyway.

I noticed that, in a disturbingly high number of recent console games, you don't just get those press X for awesome reminders only in tutorials, or only when a specific new action is introduced, but you keep getting them over and over and over again for every action until the end of the game. Like an interactive overlay of the controls page of the manual, that you just can't turn off.

 

[Clockwork Knight]

Of course, everyone went on playing PC games without me. In the school's computer lab, mute, hostile boys with thick glasses and greasy hands

Butthurt detected with naked eye.

 

[Wyrmlord]

It was the tutorial, because there are basic things that all PC gamers know how to do that I've forgotten. And even in the tutorial, they tell you to crouch without telling you it's X you should press.

Why are these games journalists so bad at playing videogames? I could go a year without playing videogames (as I did around 2007-08, I think), and I still wouldn't have a problem with any of these small issues. Let alone with checking the manual or checking the controls menu for these obvious things.

 

[Clockwork Knight]

People sometimes just block out knowledge. God knows I tried to teach my boss (a middle aged woman) how to use a browser for a long time, and every single day she'll manage to fuck up, like closing tabs on accident, or opening a hundred instances of Word. Whenever I ask why she forgot what she learned the day before, she throws her arms up and says tht she just doesn't understand this complicated stuff. Same with my mom and the TV set (first you have to turn on the cable channels receiver under the TV, then the TV itself. I can only hope someday she'll manage to do it in this order on her first try).

I imagine journalists are the same way. "I write about games, I don't play them!", and their subconscious proceeds to help them achieve that reality.

 

[DalekFlay]

It was the tutorial, because there are basic things that all PC gamers know how to do that I've forgotten. And even in the tutorial, they tell you to crouch without telling you it's X you should press.

Why are these games journalists so bad at playing videogames? I could go a year without playing videogames (as I did around 2007-08, I think), and I still wouldn't have a problem with any of these small issues. Let alone with checking the manual or checking the controls menu for these obvious things.

If you watch videos on sites like Giant Bomb you will literally beat your head on a wall at how horrible these "journalists" are at playing videogames. I can't even trust them to show the game properly, let alone review the fucking things.

 

[Zarniwoop]

And even in the tutorial, they tell you to crouch without telling you it's X you should press. You should have seen me fumble to figure it out, jumping up and down, inexplicably swinging a crowbar, under the watchful eye of these hilarious glaring scientists wearing trench coats.

Well, I guess it's too much trouble to click settings then keyboard/mouse. It's always the first thing I do and some of Deus Ex's odd decisions need rebinding anyway.

I noticed that, in a disturbingly high number of recent console games, you don't just get those press X for awesome reminders only in tutorials, or only when a specific new action is introduced, but you keep getting them over and over and over again for every action until the end of the game. Like an interactive overlay of the controls page of the manual, that you just can't turn off.

Just one more reason I cannot into TV-games. They always treat you like a fucking ADD retard who can't remember anything for more than 5 seconds, or read. If they don't, the retards will live up to their name by complaining "crouching is like, OMG, so hard LOLOLOL" They started this whole bullshit of fixed save points.

I didn't think this was a new thing for consoles, thought they always held your hand, but in Crysis 2 it was pretty rage inducing to see "Press X to derp" every few seconds. Just one more nail in its consoley, linear coffin. Still not as bad as Bulletstorm though...

Edit: Just saw this, the guy co-writing the article is just as much of an idiot:

Even on the second time through, I felt a bit paralyzed by the choices on offer-a familiar sort of paralysis, that moment at the start of the big, stat-driven RPG where I have to choose which attributes my character will take. It always flummoxes me. What if I choose the wrong one? What if I specialize in something that's worthless, or miss the best ability? Will I spend hours playing an inferior version of the game?

Ug! Choices no good. Too hard. Make Kirk head hurt.

Why are these idiots even allowed to breed? They should have been sterilised long ago.

 

[Clockwork Knight]

^Tbh worrying about choosing useless / boring shit is a perfectly valid reason to be hesitant at chargen, especially if you're playing blind (as opposed to knowing you're picking shit skills). It's only painful when the thought ends with "Why do I have to deal with stats? It hurts immersion" or "Can't I just be good at everything?"

 

[Zarniwoop]

Well, he did say it was on the second playthrough. How many times do you need to go through a game before you know the stats? They can always include an auto-generate function/pre-made characters instead of just ripping everything out like in more modern games.

 

[Quilty]

Dear God, this woman is retarded.

 

[Pika-Cthulhu]

I dont want to read the link in the OP, but I can guess that it is the usual derp that gaming journalists excrete about their inability to play a game more confusing than 'I am a dev, here is some money, drop your pants, bend over, and spread your cheeks'

Gaming journalists that find videogames challenging, be like a car reviewer not being able to drive a manual transmission.

inb4 'subhuman scum' remark

 

[laclongquan]

I dont know how to play games on PC and I am proud of it.

I think subconsciously they link PC games with nerds and they are totally terrified of being thought of as one.

Or so I guess, anyway.

 

[Konjad]

doom was shit, with that i agree

 

[Lightknight]

Why are these idiots even allowed to breed?

Posession of tits and cunts.

 

[J_C]

Woa, Leigh is a female name? And all the time I thought this writer is a guy.

 

[Shannow]

I don't mind if people don't want to fiddle with their stuff before being able to play. What bothers me is when they do not understand how something works and then pretend that it's bad (I suck at trigonometry. That must mean that it is useless anyway). If you don't behave like a retard you'll get more "power" for a cheaper price in your PC than you'd be able to get in your mac/console. It's just a matter of looking which platform offers the most interesting games (to you) and how much effort you are willing to put in.
So he's not a retard for liking consoles/macs, he's a retard for dissing something he's too lazy/stupid to understand and for then writing this:

When people ask me how someone with such a strong PC heritage came to be a nearly-exclusive console gamer

Fucking moron spends paragraphs on telling us that he never got into PCs because they're too complicated for him - sure some "strong PC heritage"

 

[J_C]

I don't understand what is so complicated in maintaining a PC. The guys in the IT store probably assamble the hardware and install everything. She just has to install the games, which is not rocket science.

 

[Menckenstein]

Leigh Alexander is too dumb to check game settings, install/patch games or upgrade PC hardware but I bet you she has a degree from a nice University.

Humanity

 

[DalekFlay]

I don't mind if people don't want to fiddle with their stuff before being able to play. What bothers me is when they do not understand how something works and then pretend that it's bad (I suck at trigonometry. That must mean that it is useless anyway).

That kind of pride about ignorance is truly the bottom of the barrel. It's even worse in politics when certain "down home friendly candidates" try to act like education and science are bad things.