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Clearly, you've never seen the Total Recall remake.

 

Dodged that bullet.

 

I got headshot by that one. Still hurts.

 

When I heard it was pg-13, I said "consider this a divoarce".

 

Hanging out by myself for a while, so taking the chance to see some boys' movies.

Bloodsport: 5/5 Lady-splits.


Jackson, Kamite, 1988


Jackson, receiving an Oscar, 2003

Holy shit, this man is multi-talented.

 

How dare you. Ogre is his own person.

 

The Counselor.

I'm familiar with McCarthy's work in that I figuratively suck his literary dick whenever I'm feeling frisky, so I kinda already knew where this movie was going from the jump off. It wasn't hard to see the darkness and bleakness that was coming, or how the women in the flick were being juxtaposed to the spoken dialogue every time they were on the screen. The material might have been beyond Scott's handling, maybe if it had been a younger Ridley, but this just didn't seem right. Then again, McCarthy's work isn't that easy to adapt. But every other part being a "hey it's that actor" was pretty distracting, especially as a shitload of those scenes were throwaways. It felt like a movie two people who were increasingly "hip" to Hollywood would make, filled to the brim with all the showy faces in all the wrong places. The long phone call between the Counselor and the cartel guy was definitely a highlight, though. At least for me, but I dig McCarthy's sense of violence and the irreversible paths it takes people down and all that jazz.

Typical genre subversion from McCarthy, as directed by an old Ridley Scott/10

 

Here's some stuff from my area of the world you might not have seen:

Hilarious documentary on the largest Roma city in the world, in Macedonia. True, but funny beyond belief. Like honesty, I couldn't believe this stuff was for real. Showed it to my mom though, she was only mildly amused and said "yeah, didn't you know that's how it is?"

And

Basically: some stupid kids from the director's hometown of Bor, Serbia make stupid jackass-like videos. Director gets them to act (amazingly!) in a faux documentary about their growing up. Funny movie about how it was to be a dumb highschool kid, but also about the friendships from that age (Stand By Me style), growing up and growing apart, the painfulness of change, confused love stories, etc. The film nails all that shit, and despite being basically a comedy creates a feeling of nostalgia for those days and the friends you've lost. Made me sad. Also the film with the highest use of the word "bro" (in Serbian). Like, 2-3 times per sentence man.

 

Missing in Action

Chuck Norris sneaks around doing stealth missions like he's larping Thief or Assassin's Creed. After doing some cool stealthy hotel wall climbing and sneaking into the home of a Vietnamese general, Chuck learns the location of some POWs still MIA. He decides to rescue the SOBs ASAP. He does some more sneaking, then he gets tired of that and starts blowing some shit up and shooting bad guys. The police chief from Blade Runner drives his inflatable boat, which is impervious to bullets. There's some naked Thai girls, but sadly no ladyboys or armadillos.

 

Westworld
ROBOT RESORT goes HAYWIRE!

*BANGS TABLE FRANTICALLY*

 

Yeah, I want to watch that movie. I heard it's a classic.

 

Shane (1953)

Great western, one of those "Mysterious stranger with hinted past rides into the town", most of the cast were great, especially Alan Ladd as Shane, Van Heflin as Joe Starret and Emile Meyeras Rufus. I love it in Shane that they don't explain Shane's past but leaves it to the viewer to decide themselves - nowdays they would've showed flashbacks and put "Hueg Reveal" into the film.

Eureka's Masters of Cinema bluray is great, I have the limited 2000 units bluray, but I watched the 1.33:1 version which looks amazing. Get it you faggits.

/


The Thing (1982)

This film shouldn't need any introductions, John Carpenter's classic film set in antartica. Decided to watch this as it's perfect winter-watching and today was probably one of the last cold days of the winter. Hard to talk about the film wihtout spoiling too much but casting is very good and the music is pretty much perfect for the film. I love Carpenter's films, too bad he lost his mojo after John Carpenter's Vampires.

/

 

Lubezki is one of the best cinematographers working right now, along with Deakins.

Goes to show how essential cinematography is to elevation a movie from simply good to greatness.

 

Or from garbage to watchable in the case of Sicario.

 

The Woman in the Dunes

In its weirdness it's still pretty predictable.
Still it's some grade A nippon shit, very good stuff.

 

As Above, So Below

I love underground horror movies and this is probably the best one I've seen so far. Several sloppy goofs that could've easily been avoided keep it from being perfect. It's also shot "found footage" style which I otherwise hate but in claustrophobic settings it works very well.

 

About Elly
(very strong 4)
lol I luv these iranian dramas.
Not as good as A seperation but still hella good.

 

The Hateful Eight

Great story, great characters, great acting.


The Reverent ½

Cinematography might be impressive but the story and Leo's acting were below mediocre. It's like Mel Gibson's Passion of Christ but the Bible as source material has been replaced with Dances with Wolves.

 

So I finally did watch Birdman.
at least, great acting, interesting theme, nice blend of fantasies and reality and a typical self-absorbed actor asshole at the center. That part is what costs it one troll for me though, I don't think that people like Riggan are very interesting human beings.
The hospital scene at the end is a nice little puzzle btw. I liked that just as much as I like it in a good mindfuck movie (no, not talking about "The Sixth Sense").

 

The Visit



New movie by M. Night Shyamalan.

The bullshit this guy puts out is always mediocre these days, but I liked The Visit.

It's a more effective spin on 2014's Stonehearst Asylum.

Don't expect any monsters, The Visit is a thriller.

I didn't see the end coming, which is a good thing.

 

Closest movie to perfection in the genre.

 

I've watched some New Shit (tm) recently, posting some thoughts.

The Martian
Like someone said, it's Gravity, but with a story. Some of the lines are cringe-worthy (lol I'm a pirate), but I guess being stuck alone for months does some crazy shit to your psyche. Best moment for me was

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when his potatoes got ruined

. Best Matt Damon role since Good Will Hunting.

The Revenant
Great movie, went in it not knowing what to expect. Beautifully shot, and a nice story of revenge and father-and-son feels. Most people focus on the bear, but that's not what does it for me in this one - although it's a great scene on it's own. Leonardo's first movie where he actually does some acting. Should preferable be watched right after watching Black Robe (featuring the Codexian priest).

Bone Tomahawk
Wow, didn't expect this pacing, and that it would be accepted in this day and age. Props for that. Props for getting Kurt Russel out of mothballs, easily best character with best lines. Great movie overall, nothing Oscar-worthy unfortunately. Does what it has to, and does it good.

Star Wars VII
Pleasantly surprised, having low expectations. Recently re-watched original trilogy to get into it again. I like the idea of humanizing a

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Stormtrooper

also was my favourite role out of the new actors. Good to see the Darth Vader wannabe struggling with the

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temptations of the light side

that was original. But I totally didn't get why

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he did so much of bullshit talking before killing Han Solo. Was he really struggling internally ? I mean, he could have struck him down without luring him close and putting him off-guard.

Very weird scene, and totally not up to standards compared to the Darth Vader conversations, or Palpatine's games in Ep. VI. Also, what an idea to build such a flimsy bridge on that position, what the fuck.

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And is Rey some illegitimate daughter of Luke ? Makes you wonder. Reminds me of my own character in KOTOR2 ;p

Soon: Hateful Eight.

 

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Did you miss that Han Solo is Kylo Ren's father? Even a wannabe Sith is probably going to struggle with the idea of murdering his old man.

 

Not mine, but always relevant:

Star Wars Episode VII: The Fanfiction Ennervates
The Maryest Sue who ever Sued friendzones everyone as she romps around a Star Wars cosplay convention with a vaudevillian nagger and geriatric uncle, all the while being chased by an incel nerd in a mini cape.

 

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Didn't feel like he was actually struggling, I guess the acting was just shit. I mean, no remorse after the fact, just smugness.