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Kodex Kommunistic Kolony in Rimworld, Seasons 2, 3

Grimwulf

Arcane
Patron
Vatnik
Joined
Oct 1, 2014
Messages
4,045
Location
Kodex Kommunistic Kastle
Meanwhile in Grimwulf's mind.

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It's dead. Nothing works. I'm done.

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Oh, come on. Try another candle! Push it harder this time.

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The patient PUSHES BACK, Azira! I need my ass AND what's left of my sanity for other purposes!

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What purpose can be possibly more crucial than Kommunism?

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You got a suggestion, Servant? Or simply flappin' dat metal mouth for no reason? Coz I don't know what to do at this point.

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Hummmmmm, maybe you can summon an expert?

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Whu?

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Since we are all a part of your... special... imagination...

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Ur ghosts, moron. Dead people haunting me just coz you're annoying.

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Consider this an excercise of stress relief. Think about the best doctor you know of. Focus.

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Hrrrmpf.

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FOCUS, Kommissar Grim Wolf!

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I have a cane and know how to use it.

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I swear by ma green balls, it worked!

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Wait. I thought I was the best doctor you know of!!

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Real doctors use vycodin.

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Bitch, I DIED from vycodin overdose!

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Dr. House, we got a patient here. Could use a second opinion.

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He's dead. Case closed.

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Kommunism is supposed to be immortal, damn you!

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What causes death symptoms in immortal patients? *swings his cane* Alright, people! Differential diagnosis.

DAYS LATER

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Shall we proceed with reincarnation procedure?

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YES, please. Can't wait to get rid of your company.

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Wait. Someone needs to talk to dem voices. They wait for an update.

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Dr. House?

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*sigh* Fine.

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The patient was hopeless. Official diagnosis: nuked from the orbit. In order to fix this, we had to replace every single piece of atom and re-create him from scratch. However, some parts were irreplacable.

List of mods gone forever:

1. Runtime GC
2. EDB Prepare Carefully
3. Misc. CORE
4. Misc. Robots
5. Map Reroll
6. Real Dug Names
7. Where is the Gravel - grayscale edition
8. Tobacco and Cigarettes
9. Prisoner Outfit
10. MiningCo Mining Helmet
11. Stronger Penoxycyline

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Now that everything seems to be in right place, we can start the reincarnation procedure. Vitals look promising.

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A thing to note here is we only have one shot. In case it goes wrong, the patient will be corrupted, his DNA overwritten, and then it's all over.

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How do you estimate our chances?

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About 18% it will go well.

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Maybe push one last anal candle inside him?

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... Anal candle?

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You should try it on your own patients, Dr. House. Works for me.

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Start the countdown, Dr. House.

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Time of death in three... two... one...

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*pulled VIOLENTLY back into the real world* hurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Fixed it.

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Everything seems to be in order. The world map.

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The research.

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The animals (still dying).

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That... WASN'T EASY, men. Fuck me.

Proper update coming this weekend.

And now, if you excuse me, I gotta git drunk.
 

vazha

Arcane
Joined
Aug 24, 2013
Messages
2,063
Yes Yes Yes FUCKING YES YEAHAHAHAHAHAH! YES!

P.S. Grimwulf v.s. the game itself, as in how Kommisar Grimwulf really fixed the game.
 

Bliblablubb

Arcane
Joined
Mar 1, 2014
Messages
2,925
Location
Copium Den
And now, if you excuse me, I gotta git drunk.
See, THAT was the problem! If you had been drunk WHILE trying to fix it, it would have of been a smooth ride. A KKKommissar's brain needs Potatofuel to operate. No experiments bro!


The moment I read "mods working: Ctulu/Lovecraft" I knew the LP is still alive and stronk. Without everone's favorite Battle Baklazhan to save your KKKolletive bacons, the KKKolony would have been doomed. DOOMED! :obviously:
 

Bliblablubb

Arcane
Joined
Mar 1, 2014
Messages
2,925
Location
Copium Den
I wanted to drag the whole text through auntie google, but sadly most of our fellow KKKodexians don't speak KKKommunese.

"Speak the language of the unwashed masses, then corrupt liberate them with tales of KKKommunism."

That's the plan. :obviously:
 

Zdzisiu

Arcane
Joined
Dec 3, 2009
Messages
3,489
Once boot crawls back from his Grimhound fiasco, all a weepin' and repentant, we should despatch him to the old Kolony to retrieve Azira's remains. Need to prepare for the resurrection. Send that new veggible too. Too many mind-scrambling communist cauliflowers in one place might try to usurp leadership and we can't allow that.

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From St. Wikipedia:
The Irish elk also called the giant deer or Irish giant deer, is an extinct species of deer in the genus Megaloceros and is one of the largest deer that ever lived. The most recent remains of the species have been carbon dated to about 7,700 years ago in Siberia. The Irish elk stood about 2.1 metres (6.9 ft) tall at the shoulders carrying the largest antlers of any known cervid (a maximum of 3.65 m (12.0 ft) from tip to tip and weighing up to 40 kg (88 lb)). In body size, the Irish Elk tied with the extant moose subspecies of Alaska (Alces alces gigas) as the third largest known deer, second and first belonging to the Cervalces genus (C. scotti and C.latifrons respectively). The Irish elk is estimated to have attained a total mass of 540–600 kg (1,190–1,323 lb). Large specimens weighed 700 kg (1,543 lb) or more, comparable to the Alaskan Moose.

Megafauna mod YES!
That is the ultimate evil, MegaGrimdeer!
 

vazha

Arcane
Joined
Aug 24, 2013
Messages
2,063
Grimwulf giveth and Grimwulf taketh away, for he works in mysterious vodka-induced ways.
That said, however, our hunger for an update (at least a mini one) grows evermore. A full belly is prerequisite to all manners of good. Without that, no man knows what hunger will make him do. (c)
 

Grimwulf

Arcane
Patron
Vatnik
Joined
Oct 1, 2014
Messages
4,045
Location
Kodex Kommunistic Kastle
Too much stuff happenig irl right now, so I couldn't find the inner strength to finish teh update. The fact that my alcohol reserve is dry doesn't help things either.

I'll make up for it during New Year holidays. Always remember: Patience is a vodka. virtue. Virtue.
 

vazha

Arcane
Joined
Aug 24, 2013
Messages
2,063
Post your address and I'll send over some Georgian wine (or Chacha, whatever you prefer) for inspirashun :positive:
 

Zdzisiu

Arcane
Joined
Dec 3, 2009
Messages
3,489
Too much stuff happenig irl right now, so I couldn't find the inner strength to finish teh update. The fact that my alcohol reserve is dry doesn't help things either.

I'll make up for it during New Year holidays. Always remember: Patience is a vodka. virtue. Virtue.
Is the whole secret assassin for FSB job getting on your nerves? Do you sometimes question if the last victim deserved it?
 

vazha

Arcane
Joined
Aug 24, 2013
Messages
2,063
Post your address and I'll send over some Georgian wine (or Chacha, whatever you prefer) for inspirashun :positive:
You don't send georgian wine. You go to Georgia and drink it there.
Quite true. Well, unless he comes over to annex/invade what's remaining from my country, he's always welcome at my door. And so are you. If you guys ever come to Georgia, give me a shout. Fabled Georgian hospitality I guarantee not, but good wine's a given.
 

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