Tacticular Cancer: We'll have your balls

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Kodex Kommunistic Kolony in Rimworld, Seasons 2, 3

Discussion in 'Codex Playground' started by Grimwulf, Aug 30, 2017.

  1. Bliblablubbgender: ⚧ Magister

    Bliblablubb
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    If I were Kalinski I would seriously start to worry now. He wants to release the axecrazy womyn who is out to kill you AND you are not part of the glorious 5-years-plan anymore. I would say "nice knowing you", but it seems I care more about dying foxes than you. :salute:


    Btw: can I wear an ushanka? I want one. Make it a priority. Mod it in if need be! :argh:
     
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  2. Storyfaggender: ⚧ Arcane

    Storyfag
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    Who is this Kalinski you speak of? The Party does not recognise that such a person has ever existed.
     
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  3. Lizzurdgender: ⚧ Arbiter

    Lizzurd
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    No man - no problem. :M
     
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  4. Make America Great Again ERYFKRADgender: ⚧ Arcane Patron

    ERYFKRAD
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    Serpent in the Staglands Shadorwun: Hong Kong Pillars of Eternity 2: Deadfire
    Where's the booze?
     
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  5. vazhagender: ⚧ Educated

    vazha
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    Which season are we talking about here?
     
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  6. Kalariongender: ⚧ Learned Patron

    Kalarion
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    Shadorwun: Hong Kong Divinity: Original Sin 2
    My vote is on housing. We saw the disastrous results of bad housing from season 1.

    Just make sure that Grimwulf makes regular rounds through Kalin's house at odd hours throughout the day and night. Kalin's sleep is overvalued.
     
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  7. Grimwulfgender: ⚧ Arcane Patron Vatnik

    Grimwulf
    Joined:
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    KKK
    Awright, voting closed. We gonna build WORKSHOP first, HOUSING second and focus on SEKKKURITY afterwards.

    Grimwulf and Cheetah will live in a house (separate beds, tho), everyone else must face temporary inconvenience of living in a barrack. A sacrifice we are willing to make.

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]
     
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  8. Andnjordgender: ⚧ Cipher

    Andnjord
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    Shameful waste of precious resources:rpgcodex:
     
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  9. Zdzisiugender: ⚧ Arcane

    Zdzisiu
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    They could have kept each other warm, like good kolkhoz workers!

     
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  10. Reinhardtgender: ⚧ Arcane

    Reinhardt
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    It's not cold when you working.
     
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  11. Bliblablubbgender: ⚧ Magister

    Bliblablubb
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    Aside from the fact that the vodka is MINE, and the contents are only handed out as vodka flavored icycles to people who worked hard, we seriously need to stock up when the next trader comes. Not enough for 3 people (Lizrrd hasn't earned the right yet) to last long.

    Real prosperity of a KKKolony is measured by the amount of potatojuice available. :salute:
     
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  12. Grimwulfgender: ⚧ Arcane Patron Vatnik

    Grimwulf
    Joined:
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    [​IMG] *swallows Grimwulf's borsch with disgust*

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    [​IMG] *sneaks outside*

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    [​IMG] Ke ke ke ke *creepy chuckle*

    [​IMG] HEY!

    [​IMG] Oh, shi--

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    [​IMG] Where do u think you're goin'?

    [​IMG] Umm, hauling stuff to the base..?

    [​IMG] Hmm? It's 4 AM.

    [​IMG] What can I say? I love my job. From each according to his abilities, right?

    [​IMG] My. Son. *almost drops a tear* Git out before I hug you to death.

    [​IMG] Kek.

    [​IMG] No, literally. I want to kill you for some reason - GET OUTTA MY SIGHT!

    [​IMG] *runs away*

    DAY 5

    [​IMG] *mumbles* That's the place.

    Show Spoiler
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    [​IMG] Volcano... River... Monolith landmark... This is it.

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    [​IMG] *places a small beacon-like object under a tree*

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    [​IMG] *murmurs something like a prayer(?)* Shepard me from the darkness. For my flesh... is an insult... to the perfection... of the di--

    [​IMG] *psshhhh* Where is MAH FAKIN' ERRAND BOY?!

    [​IMG] *pshhh psh psh* Hauling marble blocks to the base! Kommissar's orders!

    Show Spoiler
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    [​IMG] *psshhhh* Aye, I could order something like that, methinks.

    Show Spoiler
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    [​IMG] How DARE you give orders to MY subordinates?

    [​IMG] I'm the Kommissar - THAT's how! Mornin', Cheetah.

    [​IMG] Morning. *walks away*

    Show Spoiler
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    [​IMG] You realize you'll have to talk to her and sort this out, rite?

    [​IMG] I hafta sort out the fox first. Furs for clothing, meat for borsch.

    Show Spoiler
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    [​IMG] Out of my way, Kalin.

    [​IMG] *spits on the ground and moves aside*

    A bit later.

    [​IMG] Any cool stories? Anecdotes? Anyone?

    [​IMG] The teacher asks Vladimir: - Let's imagine that you've got $200. Then you give $50 to Svetlana, $50 to Olga and $50 to Natasha. What do you have now? - Well.. an orgy?

    [​IMG] Muh huh huh huh

    [​IMG] It's old. *sigh* I'm bored.

    Show Spoiler
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    [​IMG] *opens a bottle of ghost vodka* Cheers.

    [​IMG] You gotta be shittin' me...

    [​IMG] Did you really think DEATH would stop me from drinkin'? Pfff *drinks up*

    [​IMG] HOW?

    [​IMG] Ooofff, strong stuff. I'm a spirit, Grim. Spirit distilling spirits. One might even say that I'm... SPIRITUAL :yeah:

    Meanwhile.

    [​IMG] Wanna know how I lost mah eye?

    [​IMG] A deer took it?

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    [​IMG] A DIER TUK IT! Wait, how did you know?

    [​IMG] You talk while sleeping.

    [​IMG] ... Have I mentioned any...

    [​IMG] Let's just say I have more information regarding you than I ever cared to obtain. *shivers*

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    [​IMG] HA! Playin' LADY-IN-DISTRESS on me, aren't you? Still not gonna give ye my cloak.

    [​IMG] I prefer to warm myself by killing those who annoy me. By the way, you annoy me.

    [​IMG] Cold bitch.

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    Later that morning.

    [​IMG] Here goes nothing...

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    [​IMG] Oh, Gods... Space Gods... yyyuuurgh... BLEGH! GRIMWUUUUUUUULF!!!

    [​IMG] Ahhh, sweet sounds of Kommunism.

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    [​IMG] We need more borsch.

    [​IMG] *hic* Make it 80% borsch, 20% vodka. A broth that fills your belly AND your soul.

    [​IMG] Bu-but, everyone will be constantly drunk!

    [​IMG] Naaaah, a few shots of vodka only makes you more vigilant.

    Later that morning.

    [​IMG] *tastes Grimwulf's borsch*

    [​IMG] Is it gud? Made this batch extra salty, just for you.

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    [​IMG] It's horrible. I love it. *consumes with appetite*

    [​IMG] Does she speak of that foul broth or Grimwulf?

    [​IMG] Probably both.

    [​IMG] *finishes gutting the wolf* Awright, I'm done here.

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    [​IMG] Hey.

    [​IMG] Mm?

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    [​IMG] Make it less salty next time. *barely noticeable smile*

    [​IMG] *nods*

    [​IMG] Kommissar. Cheetah.

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    [​IMG] Lizzurd. You woke up early today.

    [​IMG] Can't sleep knowing there is work to be done. Your suspicion is uncalled-for. Can't we just be friends?

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    [​IMG] Do I look like a stupid muffalo?

    [​IMG] *grins* You look like a smart cheetah.

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    [​IMG] Whatever goal you are trying to accomplish, I won't let you. Cheetah is the fastest animal known to mankind. I will always be ahead of you, Lizzurd. *leaves the barracks*

    One hour later.

    [​IMG] *murmurs to himself* She knows... Need more schemes... Need more obscurity... Yes. No..? No. Hmm... Glitching. Ke ke. *suffers a meltdown* SHE KNOWSSSSsss!

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    [​IMG] Hommmm, did you hear somthng?

    [​IMG] Nope.

    [​IMG] Probably Kalin praising my glorious leadership again.

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    [​IMG] You never listen to me, Kommissar Grim Wolf. Just like that time you sent me and Gregory Slavmen on a scouting mission back in the old KKK. NONE OF US WAS EVEN CAPABLE OF FIGHTING!

    [​IMG] Not this nonsense again.

    [​IMG] I'm telling you Gregory Slavmen was Dreaad in disguise! I heard him laughing the same weird retarded way as Dreaad!

    [​IMG] Dreaad died in Gulag. Greg was killed during Red Party ambush. For the last time, Ryan - enough!

    [​IMG] Stone hearth - done. No thanks to you, annoying assholes.

    Show Spoiler
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    [​IMG] I fell behind Slavmen during that souting mission - thought I was a dead man. Eventually I caught up, though.

    [​IMG] So thrilling. Even when you listen to this for the 68th time.

    [​IMG] I sort of hate you mildly. *sigh* You know what's really weird? Ever since that scouting mission Gregory Slavmen never laughed...

    [​IMG] *psh psshhh* Anyone seen Lizzurd? Where is dat fucker?

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] *psshhh* No idea.

    Later that day.

    [​IMG] Beir and votka do not work togez-- *hic* OH, FUCK!

    Show Spoiler
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    [​IMG] *confused gurgle*

    [​IMG] Thought you wr-- wore-- WAR a monster, ke ke.

    [​IMG] *offended popping*

    [​IMG] *walks in zigzags towards vodka*

    Show Spoiler
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    [​IMG] *GURGLE GURGLE GURGLE, followed by maddened tentacle swinging*

    [​IMG] AAAAAAAAaaaaa!!!

    [​IMG] *warning pop-pop*

    [​IMG] I d-donnnt intend to dr-- dirk. Drown? DRIVE your vodka. Lurk at me! *grabs the bottle*

    [​IMG] *guuuuuuuuuuurgle*

    Show Spoiler
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    [​IMG] Ssssee? I protect ur bottul. Safer *hic* with meh.

    [​IMG] *calmed down popping*

    [​IMG] Why ar yu hero, tho? Her. He-he-here?

    [​IMG] *poppin' something about something*

    Show Spoiler
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    [​IMG] Yessss. You go. Becum hero of the pepul. Me - stays to protekt vodka.

    [​IMG] *gurgle*

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    [​IMG] *GURGLE*

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] She's gong. FINALE! *drinks the whole fucking bottle in one go*

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    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] Ro ro ro... ro DAH!!

    [​IMG] MO-HOH?! Weird noises again!

    [​IMG] You wanna tell me something, Brock Badbunny?

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] *licks her head-tentacle with her mouth-tentacle*

    [​IMG] What's that supposed to mean..?

    Show Spoiler
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    [​IMG] Uroboros. Kommunism will be our salvation and downfall.

    [​IMG] Hommm, maybe she thinks you should wash more often?

    [​IMG] I think she told you to suck your own dick, Grim.

    Show Spoiler
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    [​IMG] *SHRIIIEEEK*

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    [​IMG] Whatever. *enters the fridge and grabs a beer* Good times.

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] Where is vodka, Grim?

    [​IMG] Hrm? Why-- wh-- motherf... FFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!! :rage: *echoes throughout the area*

    Show Spoiler
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    [​IMG] Was that Grimwulf?

    [​IMG] Yeah. Probably readin' Ayn Rand again.

    Show Spoiler
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    [​IMG] Fuck Grimwulf. Where is mah lizard poolboy? I will seriously fuck him up if he's trying to avoid me or something.

    Show Spoiler
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    Hours later.

    [​IMG] Good dog. *pets Azira*

    [​IMG] *happy woof*

    [​IMG] HEY! No sissy stuff in my Kolony!

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] Azira contributes more than Kalin and Lizzurd combined.

    [​IMG] Indeed. *drinks another shot of ghost vodka*

    [​IMG] I CAN HEAR YOU, BITCH!

    [​IMG] I know.

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] *gurgling and flapping wings wildly*

    [​IMG] Is that... a dead rat?

    [​IMG] *affirmative pop-pop*

    [​IMG] Another threat to KKK has been dealt with, huh?

    [​IMG] *GURGLE*

    [​IMG] Do you see what I'm talking about, Grim? Azira is the only one here, who has any common sense left anymore

    [​IMG] Hrmpf.

    [​IMG] Marry her.

    One hour later.

    [​IMG] LIZZUUUUUUUUUUUURD!! Come out, you piece of shit! I've made a FACE STYLIN' BENCH for ya!

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] Now you can make yer hair NOT PINK! Where is this goddamn bastard?

    Show Spoiler
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    [​IMG] *barfs, coughs* Ke ke ke. *burrrrp* Ohmafffuckin, oooooh *drinks another one*

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    [​IMG] *tries to sing* Daine kruse macht mein klyain du da shmacht beshtraffe--

    Show Spoiler
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    [​IMG] *throws himself towards the exit*

    [​IMG] *opens the door* You. Fuck.

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    [​IMG] *holds his breath*

    [​IMG] WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?! ANSWER ME!

    [​IMG] *still holding his breath, face turning red*

    [​IMG] I will crowbar my way into that mouth if needed be. SPIT IT OUT!!!

    [​IMG] *engorges something between a word and a burp* Brrrrrroooooo

    [​IMG] I ain't you BRO, buttplug! Stand right here until my return. I need beer URGENTLY! Lots of beer. Had a rough day.

    [​IMG] *nods and moans*

    Show Spoiler
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    [​IMG] *opens the door* Whu--

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    [​IMG] Half of-- son of a... MUH BEER!!! FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU :rage:

    [​IMG] *tries to escape the barracks, but RAMS Grimwulf instead*

    Show Spoiler
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    [​IMG] Watch it, blind-ass scalemonger!

    [​IMG] *mumbles* Exc-- *hic* exclude meh.

    [​IMG] *goes inside, swearing*

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    [​IMG] Homm. Kommissar Grim Wolf?

    [​IMG] Aye?

    [​IMG] Why are you making a tailoring station?

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    [​IMG] Who knows the difference between KKK and your regular colony of communists? Anyone?

    [​IMG] KKK sports a giant lazor-shootin' vegetable.

    [​IMG] We have no brewery, and we must drink.

    [​IMG] Our Kommissar is insane?

    [​IMG] Wrong, wrong, wrong. We are building Kommunism AND lookin' gud while at it.

    Show Spoiler
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    [​IMG] *pshhhh* Kalin! Cheetah needs an ushanka - make it happen naw!

    [​IMG] *psshhhh* FUCK YOU! First you drink ALL MAH BEER, and now you're bossing me around?!

    [​IMG] I didn't touch your beer, eyefucker! YOU, on the other hand, ANNIHILATED our special-occasion-vodka!

    [​IMG] WHAT?! VODKA'S GONE TOO?!

    Later that evening.


    [​IMG] Who could have done that?

    [​IMG] Aren't you supposed to be the investigator of KKK?

    Show Spoiler
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    [​IMG] I bet my moustache on Cheetah.

    [​IMG] She's tough, but not that kind of tough. A whole bottle of vodka and, what was it, FIVE bottles of beer??

    [​IMG] It couldn't be that sissy punk Lizzurd.

    [​IMG] Not Lizzurd. Bibi?

    [​IMG] Could be. Could be.

    [​IMG] Hmmm...

    [​IMG] *the door opens and Lizzurd FALLS into the room* Herro...

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    [​IMG] Told ya. This idiot can't even stand on his feet for too long - no chance he could drink that much.

    [​IMG] Lizzurd?

    [​IMG] *hic* Konductor?

    [​IMG] You hair is still pink.

    [​IMG] Oh.

    [​IMG] Have some goddamn decency.

    [​IMG] Ok. *goes away to dye his hair in something more appropriate*

    new Lizzurd (open)
    [​IMG]


    Later that night.


    [​IMG] Are you going bed yet?

    [​IMG] Gotta finish the workshop.

    Show Spoiler
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    [​IMG] Right. *walks around the workshop for some time* I want you to know something.

    [​IMG] What is it?

    [​IMG] We are going to have a lot of disagreements, Grim.

    [​IMG] Hrmpf. Figured that out already.

    [​IMG] But in the end, I'm with you. Even though you are a stubborn oaf.

    [​IMG] ... Good to know.

    [​IMG] *hugs Grimwulf*

    Show Spoiler
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    [​IMG] You'll spoil my focus, woman.

    [​IMG] *smiles* Good night, Kommissar.

    Show Spoiler
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    [​IMG] Women are trouble. My father used to say that a lot.

    [​IMG] She's playing with your feelings, Kommissar Grim Wolf.

    [​IMG] What feelings? Lust for labor? Intense cravings for alcohol?

    [​IMG] Shuddup, all of you!

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    [​IMG] Kalin should make a proper investigation tomorrow. Vodka thiefs WILL NOT BE TOLERATED!

    [​IMG] Who could have commited such a horrible crime..?

    Show Spoiler
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    [​IMG] It can wait 'til tomorrow. Workshop DONE!!

    Show Spoiler
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    [​IMG] Can't believe I'm about to say that, but KKK looks... PROMISING.

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Oct 13, 2017
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  13. MercantileInterestgender: ⚧ Arcane

    MercantileInterest
    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2016
    Parrots:
    1,864,715
    [​IMG]
    Right ho. Let's try this again. Didn't think it such a complex concept but I guess we're dealing with Slavs. (Would be inconceivable that I'm reading the map incorrectly.)

    The escape tunnel runs under a large body of water. The commissar's current plan involves collapsing the tunnel. If we instead dig a canal from the water to the tunnel entrance, it should flow downhill to flood the area, thereby securing it from invasion. Scraping a ditch through the surface dirt should be easier than chipping away at bedrock, waiting for it to collapse on Kalin.
     
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  14. Grimwulfgender: ⚧ Arcane Patron Vatnik

    Grimwulf
    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2014
    Parrots:
    3,441
    Location:
    KKK
    Show Spoiler
    WHY U UPDATE?! STEAM IS OFFLINE!

    :rage:

    [​IMG]


    We got rid of terraforming mod in Season 3. The only thing we can dig in vanilla is grave.
     
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  15. Grimwulfgender: ⚧ Arcane Patron Vatnik

    Grimwulf
    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2014
    Parrots:
    3,441
    Location:
    KKK
    [​IMG] Before we proceed to suffer in KKK, I hereby declare an INVESTIGASHUN to begin. We can't rest until we find the alcohol thief!

    [​IMG] Right.

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    [​IMG] *grumbles* Go interrogate Lizzurd first. I'm sleeping.

    [​IMG] You heard the Kommissar.

    [​IMG] *follows Kalin to the fridge*

    [​IMG] Now. Where were you the entire day?

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    [​IMG] Protecting vodka. Veggie-thing can confirm!

    [​IMG] You've done a shitty job. *steps into vomit* THE FUCK IS THAT?!

    [​IMG] Someone threw up, apparently. See, that wasn't me! I never throw up! Look! *consumes Grimwulf's borsch, trying hard to maintain a happy face*

    [​IMG] THEN WHO DID THAT?!

    [​IMG] I saw someone. Or... something.

    Show Spoiler
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    [​IMG] A stranger came in, barfed on the floor, took our alcohol, and left.

    [​IMG] What a sorry excuse of a statement.

    [​IMG] It's true! I swear!

    [​IMG] Why didn't you try to stop the intruder?

    [​IMG] I was hiding under that dead muffalo.

    [​IMG] Give me one reason to spare your balls from mah halberd.

    [​IMG] I think I know who it was. Psst. *whispers* Cheetah's man.

    [​IMG] Eh?

    [​IMG] She's hiding a dirty secret. Do you know what kind of person she really is?

    [​IMG] Criminal overlord robbin' and murderin' people blind? Yah. I know.

    [​IMG] I bet her companions will come and take over this place eventually. Maybe they are already lurking nearby. As I was approaching KKK, I had this distinct feeling someone is watching me...

    [​IMG] Is that so..? *grabs a beer*

    [​IMG] Something to reflect upon. Can I go to work now?

    [​IMG] Yeh, yeh - drag your skinny ass outta here. *drinks*

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    [​IMG] *mumbles* That fucking bitch. *opens another bottle*

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] Lizzurd. I got a task for ya. An importan' one.

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] Right. We're partners! We should come up with a name for our team! Three Eyes of Justice - how's that?

    [​IMG] ONE DICK OF KALIN sounds more appropriate. Anyway, I need you to stalk Cheetah for a bit. Tell me if you see anything suspicious.

    [​IMG] Roger that!

    Two hours later.

    [​IMG] *sneaking behind Cheetah like a master ninja*

    [​IMG] Are you spying on me, Lizzurd?

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] WHAT-- no! Just looking for a stone chunk to cut. Oh, there it is!

    [​IMG] ...

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] Ke ke ke ke... *murmurs* nezameten!

    [​IMG] That does it. *drops the logs and draws her knife*

    [​IMG] YOU CAN'T HURT ME!

    [​IMG] Hurt you? Why would I do that? It came to my attention your neck needs shaving. *approaches Lizzurd*

    [​IMG] *gulp*

    [​IMG] A neckbeard is so undignified, don't you think? Hold still. Otherwise I might accidentally slit your throat.

    [​IMG] *runs away* KAAAAAAALIN!

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] What did ya find out?

    [​IMG] She's hiding something!

    [​IMG] I KNEW IT!

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] Wake up, sleepyheads.

    [​IMG] *snoring and swearing mildly* Off with you, woman! *yawn*

    [​IMG] *bubbles*

    [​IMG] *enters the fridge and steps into puddle of vomit* Shit!

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    Meanwhile.

    [​IMG] Done with that stupid-ass ushanka.

    [​IMG] It doesn't look like ushanka to me.

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] *spits* Still more than she deserves.

    [​IMG] Riiiight.

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    Later that morning.

    [​IMG] AHA! Caught you on crime scene!

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] Eating thru KKK's borsch while slacking from work!

    [​IMG] Guilty as charged.

    [​IMG] U'r not a pro criminal, you know that?

    [​IMG] I'm considering a change of career. Come here, my fearsome bear.

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] No huggin'.

    [​IMG] *chuckles* What's our next step?

    [​IMG] Let's see... I am the only builder around, and apparenty the only one who can cook.

    [​IMG] I would argue on second statement. This *lifts her plate* isn't cooking.

    [​IMG] Modern wymin. No manners. No respect.

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] In any case, I'll have to stick to the kitchen for now. Once we have enough edible substances stored, we can discuss further building projects.

    [​IMG] Why don't you let me do the planning and research? We need to focus on power generators. How long are you going to live a medieval bum's life?

    [​IMG] As long as it takes!

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] This is going nowhere. Look. I can back you up, Grim. Become your Deputy.

    [​IMG] I'm in charge here, Cheetah! I need no help being the Kommissar!

    [​IMG] Suit yourself. *opens a beer*

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] Bimbo is still messing with my mind.

    [​IMG] Yes, but she's doing it gently.

    [​IMG] You promised me.

    [​IMG] What do you want me to do? Make a vegetable salad out of her? I'm not that good of a cook!

    [​IMG] There must be a way.

    [​IMG] Yes, it involves ice cream and vodka. Do you see vodka around? I certainly don't.

    [​IMG] Fine. I won't beg you. *puts on a cold expression* But I will remember this.

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    A bit later.

    [​IMG] Morning.

    [​IMG] Don't sneak on me like that!

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] How's your new apprentice doing? Is he obedient enough?

    [​IMG] No such thing as "obedient enough".

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] Who's running your organization while you're here?

    [​IMG] That's an intimate question.

    [​IMG] Where is the guarantee they won't come lookin' for you?

    [​IMG] They won't.

    [​IMG] NOT GUD ENUFF!

    [​IMG] Take it or leave it. I'm on your side, believe it or not. Considering KKK's current state, you should praise whatever gods you worship for sending you an ally such as me.

    [​IMG] ... Made ye a warm hat. Go get it.

    [​IMG] You made me a hat..?

    [​IMG] Grimwulf's request. Wouldn't bother otherwise.

    [​IMG] *smiles and walks away*

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    A bit later.


    [​IMG] *whispers to herself* Warm.

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] *utters even more silently* Thank you.

    Grimwuf's Kommissar Log (open)
    Lizzurd's doing a tolerable job cutting me stone blocks. A comforting sight for a sore eye.

    [​IMG]

    Rambo Veggie is mostly hunting small game, coz all the big one is annihilated. Now Grimdeer will think twice before sending his hordes our way.

    [​IMG]

    Kalin seems to be content with Lizzurd, surprisingly. No major drama broke out between them. Yet.

    [​IMG]

    The food situation is worrisome. We might run out of meat. Small game alone won't cut it.

    Still got dat phat muffalo to butcher.

    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] *GURGLE*

    [​IMG] Brought me a SQUIRREL, didn't you? Good plant!

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] *joyful pop-pop*

    [​IMG] See, that's why I am not a vegetarian. PLANTS LIVES MATTER, amirite?

    [​IMG] *popping and drooling from mouth tentacles*

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] Go forth, my glorious aubergine. Eliminate each and every threat to KKK!

    [​IMG] *SHRIEK*

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] More meat. More broth. *grabs the last beer*

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    Meanwhile.

    [​IMG] Appreciate the hat.

    [​IMG] Yeah, yeah.

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] Look at me beating my own record on stonecutting per day!

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] Psst. Kalin. Watch yourself around Cheetah.

    [​IMG] You said something?

    [​IMG] N-nothing!

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] Make yourself useful somewhere else, Lizzurd! I want to have words with Snow Queen in private.

    [​IMG] B-but what should I do?

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] Whatever you want, schmuck.

    [​IMG] I want new fancy clothes!

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] Great. Do it.

    [​IMG] W-we don't have enough furs and leather...

    [​IMG][​IMG] GET OUT!!!

    [​IMG] What's with the screamin'?

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] Fashion Lizzurd suffers because of leather shortage.

    [​IMG] Hrm? There is plenty of leather in the fridge. It's just different kinds of leather.

    [​IMG] EXACTLY! :negative:

    [​IMG] Why don't you blend it?

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG]Blend... leather?

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] OF COURSE!

    [​IMG] Atta boy. Go make yo mama proud! Chop-chop!

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    Later that day.

    [​IMG] Well? You wanted to talk or just stare at me like a one-eyed schoolboy?

    [​IMG] Such a fucking pleasure chattin' with you. Bitch.

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] Is it about your vodka investigation?

    [​IMG] No. Isn't it obvious who did it? Nobody could ever drink that much, except Grimwulf. However, while interrogating Lizzurd for teh lulz, I came to a curious conclusion.

    [​IMG] Which is..?

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] You do not travel alone, do you?

    [​IMG] Normally I take several bodyguards along. Marvelous conclusion, Kalin.

    [​IMG] Wait for the fucking punchline! I'm fairly confident there is a man watching over you, and he is not your bodyguard either. I bet he is your father's man.

    [​IMG] My father's man wouldn't simply watch. You don't know my father.

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] Then explain me this. Back when we were searching for Grimwulf, someone was following us. I know it, you know it, even the dogs could feel his presence. I caught a glimpse of a weird-ass figure when we were chillin' at Croc's bar. Thought it was Grimwulf at first, now I know it wasn't. There is more. Do you remember what you said when I released you from Zeppy's camp?

    [​IMG] Not really.

    [​IMG] "It isn't safe here. Zeppy and her alcoholic warband is one thing, but... Let's just go."

    [​IMG] ... Some memory you have.

    [​IMG] Now that I know you, I know you're not of the wussy-pussy type. Care to explain?

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] What does it matter now?

    [​IMG] Lizzurd said he felt someone watching him when he came close enough to KKK.

    [​IMG] ... Shit.

    Meanwhile.


    [​IMG] *SHRIIIIIIIIIIEK*

    [​IMG] What is wrong with you?

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] *gurgle gurgle GURGLE*

    [​IMG] Wow, calm down!

    [​IMG] *psshhh* Make Biobreasts SHUT UP! People tryin' to work here!

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] I meant that as a compliment.

    [​IMG] I hate you, Grim.

    [​IMG] We all do.

    [​IMG] *PROJECTING IMAGES THAT BURN THROUGH THE MIND*

    [​IMG][​IMG][​IMG][​IMG] FFFFFFFUUCK!!!

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] Hommmmm

    [​IMG] Tracking? She wants to learn tracking..?

    [​IMG] I mean. Ok? Go for it?

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] She isn't going anywhere...

    [​IMG] WE ARE UNDER ATTACK, YOU DUMBFUCKS!!!

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] *dissapears*

    [​IMG] RED ALERT! RED ALERT!!!

    [​IMG] *psh psh* KOMRADES, COMBAT POSITIONS! KKK IS UNDER ATTACK! Deserters will have their BALLS amputated! Over.

    [​IMG] We'll have to finish this conversation later, Kalin.

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] You can't walk away from Son of Kalin!

    [​IMG] I'm not trying to. *sighs, turns around* There is no point in discussing this... stalker. He is causing problems. What do you do when someone is causing problems?

    [​IMG] I kill him.

    [​IMG] You kill him.

    [​IMG] *thinks for a moment, then simply nods*

    [​IMG] *walks away*

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] Cheetah, take cover behind the sandbags! You, me and Biobutt will hold the main entrance. KALIN, you and Lizzurd are guarding back door! DO NOT LET THEM SLIP THRU!

    [​IMG] I'll be right back. *goes inside the barracks*

    [​IMG] Grimwulf.

    [​IMG] WHAT?!

    [​IMG] She's... fine.

    [​IMG] Hrm?

    [​IMG] Cheetah. We had a coversation about... spirituality. Stuff that we believe in. She is fine.

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] Did you hear "combat positions"?

    [​IMG] Fuck you. *goes inside*

    One hour later.

    [​IMG] Um khla mar. Irguk toesgata!

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] Kurp regastir. *makes a sign for others to stop* Hurmur lok khadar. *approaches KKK carefully*

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

    [​IMG] *SHRIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEK*

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] *raises a brow* Damn.

    [​IMG] Yeah. Like I told you before, she knows her job.

    [​IMG] She's not the only one. *aims her rifle*

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG][​IMG] *both open fire at once*

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] *GURGLE*

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] TAKE THE PRISONERS FOR INTERROGATION!

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] Goddamit. Missed all the fun.

    [​IMG] Welcome to KKK, ke ke ke.

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] The pain!

    [​IMG] This one speaks our language!

    [​IMG] Interesting.

    Meanwhile.

    [​IMG] Almost there.

    [​IMG] This is a mistake, BigVee.

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] We'll see about that.

    Later that evening.

    [​IMG] Tough bastard. Was basically cut in half, and still breathin' somehow.

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] Turbuk hedor!

    [​IMG] Eh?

    [​IMG] He calls you a demon.

    [​IMG] There is indeed a demon. IN MY PANTS!! *grabs crotch*

    [​IMG] Such a mess...

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] Thank you for cleaning my blood, Senorita.

    [​IMG] URUPREY! JERHOVA!!!

    [​IMG] He feels guilty for all the trouble we caused, and offers his life in compensation. All he asks is to spare me.

    [​IMG] All that in two words? Impressive.

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] Tell your idiot boyfriend that he will either work for me, or suffer EXXXTREME TORTURES!

    [​IMG] Guk benjuk sdei kafar, prokler fas hordum ol.

    [​IMG] Grrrrrr.

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] Clean the room. Then haul shit to the base. I'm watchin' ye!

    [​IMG] We did great! HIGH FIVE, PARTNER!

    [​IMG] *leaves the workshop, ignoring Lizzurd*

    [​IMG] *hand hanging in the air* Embarassing.

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] May I have a glass of water and julienne?

    [​IMG] We have borsch.

    [​IMG] What is borsch?

    [​IMG] You're gonna love it.

    Meanwhile.

    [​IMG] *greeting pop-pop*

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] You didn't mention there is an Eldritch among them, Herman.

    [​IMG] I didn't know myself.

    [​IMG] Shh! They can hear your thoughts!

    [​IMG] *confused gurgle*

    [​IMG] We mean you no harm, Old One. Will you let us pass, so we can trade with your slaves?

    [​IMG] *magnanimous pop-pop*

    [​IMG] I am grateful.

    [​IMG] We all are.

    [​IMG] ...

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    Later that night.

    [​IMG] We have lost the savages, milord. It's snowing too hard. Impossible to track them down at this point.

    [​IMG] Just a little further to the north, Andrade. I have a certain feeling about this place. A good feeling.

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] *gives a signal for his men to scout ahead*

    One hour later.

    [​IMG] Kommissar!

    [​IMG] What now?

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] The prisoners are feeling ok! One of them is already working, the other one will fully recover in a day or two.

    [​IMG] Good. Not that I give two shits, but still.

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] It's almost bed time. Where is Kalin and Cheetah?

    [​IMG] Do you think they could be... you know?

    [​IMG] Hmm?

    [​IMG] Touching each other?

    [​IMG] GWA HAHAHAHA, you fucking jester.

    Later that night.

    [​IMG] So that's the whole story?

    [​IMG] Yeah.

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] Still don't get why keep it secret, but eh. Whatever. Why did you make me haul these blocks again?

    [​IMG] If anybody asks, I was looking for dead animals, while you were hauling blocks.

    [​IMG] Sounds legit. And what if--

    [​IMG] Shhh! Look.

    [​IMG] ... People?

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] *enters the barracks through the back door* Are you aware we have guests?

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] Hrrrmmrrm. Deal with them yourself. Me sleepin'.

    [​IMG] Guests, Grimwulf. As in, other people who came here for some reason. Hello?

    [​IMG] *snoring loudly*

    [​IMG] Grim? Are you listening? *sighs*

    Meanwhile.

    [​IMG] What the actual fuck. YOU?!

    [​IMG] Greetings.

    [​IMG] *draws his halberd* BIG mistake, fuckers - now you D--

    [​IMG] Kalin. I'll take care of the situation. Get some rest.

    [​IMG] Fine.

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] *whispers in Cheetah's ear* I know them.

    [​IMG] *nods, comes closer to the caravan* Fishfolk.

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] Good even-- oh.

    [​IMG] Murphy..? *the crowd is whispering Cheetah's name, everybody bow their heads to show respect*

    [​IMG] We did not expect--

    [​IMG] Shut up, girl. I'll speak to Dutchie.

    [​IMG] Please. Call me Herman. I'm no longer running caravans for Miskatonic.

    [​IMG] What are you doing here, Dutchie?

    [​IMG] My bad, Ms. Murphy. It was my suggestion to trade with KKK. Didn't mean to disturb or interrupt anything.

    [​IMG] How did you find this location?

    [​IMG] We have our ways. You know better than to ask questions!

    [​IMG] *turns to the arrogant man and throws her knife before he has a chance to react*

    [​IMG] *drops dead*

    [​IMG] *pulls her knife out of the man's skull* Clean this mess, girl.

    [​IMG] ... I am running this caravan, Ms. Murphy.

    [​IMG] *ignores her completely* As for you, don't test my patience, Dutchie.

    [​IMG] We didn't have to search for this place, Ms. Murphy. Pamphlets falling from the sky. I figured Kommissar Grimwulf printed them?

    [​IMG] Pamphlets?

    [​IMG] Yes. Here, see for yourself *hands a paper sheet to Cheetah*

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] There is a map on the other side with very precise directions. Several days ago these pamphlets were falling down everywhere.

    [​IMG] ...

    [​IMG] You didn't know?

    [​IMG] I'll talk to you in the morning, Dutchie. Tell the girl she can buy any clothes, bows and arrows lying around.

    [​IMG][​IMG] Thank you.

    Show Spoiler
    technical note (open)
    We basically sold some trash. Buying raw meat might be a good idea, but I decided to roll like that.

    We r too poor to afford anything of value, all thanks to Kalin who wasted our funds.


    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] *addresses the crowd* Fishfolk, you are not welcome here. I expect you to leave shortly. Do NOT make me repeat myself. *tosses her knife* Because I won't.

    [​IMG] Better listen to Lady Murphy, folks. She means what she says. Always.

    [​IMG] Leif..?

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] It's so nice to see you, Cheetah. How long has it been? Five years? Six?

    [​IMG] Six. Haven't seen you since the Rat Hunt.

    [​IMG] Ahh, the Rat Hunt. I was just a boy back then, but Lord be praised - we killed a lot of men.

    [​IMG] Not men. Rats.

    [​IMG] I am but a simple merchant now. Selling goods, animals. Occasionally rats, hah hah hah!

    [​IMG] I know you've been selling slaves for two years now. Without asking for my permission.

    [​IMG] *stops laughing*

    [​IMG] But since you're only dealing with savages, I decided to let it slide.

    [​IMG] Speaking of which... Did you happen to run into a group of--

    [​IMG] Yes. They caused me some trouble, Leif.

    [​IMG] I am willing to compensate, my Lady. A generous discount on all my goods. May I... reclaim my slaves?

    [​IMG] Take the one speaking gibberish. He is lacking some limbs, but let it serve you a lesson.

    [​IMG] Fair enough.

    [​IMG] I want 219 silver for him.

    [​IMG] ... Fair enough.

    [​IMG] And a husky.

    [​IMG] I BEG YOU, MY LADY! You are ruining me!

    [​IMG] Certainly we can strike a deal, Leif.

    Show Spoiler
    technical note (open)
    Sold the mutilated prisoner and some leather. Bought a husky! Yay!

    Btw, his prices are really, really good. Too bad we're dog-poor.


    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] A... pleasure... doing business with you.

    [​IMG] Good night, Leif. *goes away*

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] *pets husky* How should I name you? *yawns* I'll decide later.

    Later that night.


    [​IMG] I think I have an infection, Senor.

    [​IMG] Kalin told me a tale of a wise man who lived in KKK once.

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] He was a doctor. Used to cure everything with anal candles and dirty socks.

    [​IMG] How did he die?

    [​IMG] Infection.

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] Good night!
     
    Last edited: Oct 15, 2017
    • Brofist Brofist x 17
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  16. vazhagender: ⚧ Educated

    vazha
    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2013
    Parrots:
    67
    Yay, new recruit(s)!!!11
    Can you also recruit somebody from those two caravans?
     
    • :M :M x 1
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  17. Grimwulfgender: ⚧ Arcane Patron Vatnik

    Grimwulf
    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2014
    Parrots:
    3,441
    Location:
    KKK
    Nope. Unless we attack them and capture prisoners.

    Speakking of prisoners - we r totally gonna recruit the new guy.

    Show Spoiler
    [​IMG]


    As soon as I sober up a little. Hang on
     
    • incline incline x 2
    • Excited! Excited! x 2
    • Acknowledge this user's Agenda Acknowledge this user's Agenda x 1
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  18. Stainless Veterangender: ⚧ Arcane

    Stainless Veteran
    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2010
    Parrots:
    2,965
    Location:
    Vostroya
    Given KKKolny's luck, he'll surely will die of infection. :negative:
    Great update, the plot thiccens! I wonder if there are not only werewolfs, but wererats too now. (Never played with that mod).
    Say, Grimwulf , what mods do you use for food and clothing variety?
     
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  19. Luka-boygender: ⚧ Arcane

    Luka-boy
    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2014
    Parrots:
    788
    Location:
    Asspain
    He sure seems like an absolutely worthwhile addition to the Kolony. Nothing Trobosome about him.
     
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    • Yes Yes x 1
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  20. SmartCheetahgender: ⚧ Savant

    SmartCheetah
    Joined:
    May 7, 2013
    Parrots:
    698
    23 years old hobo. Everything seems perfectly fine.

    Anyway, If I could, I'd name that dog after someone who have followed all the seasons and possibly died in vein. If there is no better ideas, name him ERYFKRAD , The Brazilian Slaughter or after some other fellow from FOnline times(provided that I have anything to say in this matter)
    Husky mutant from No-Mutants-Allowed? yespls.
    Also, we should seriously name some animal after Prosper. I'd say that boomrat is a good thing for this, but I don't know if any boomrat will come close to this colony any time soon. Or maybe a female muffallo? Colony "prospering" on Prosper's milk. That would be fucking hilarious.
    :prosper:
     
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  21. Grimwulfgender: ⚧ Arcane Patron Vatnik

    Grimwulf
    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2014
    Parrots:
    3,441
    Location:
    KKK
    Vegetable Garden and Medieval Times add food variety.

    Clothing - holy hell, that will be a long list. Each faction mod adds new clothes, a lot of content mods do the same, then again - Medieval Times. FashionRIMsta is a major one too.

    I fucked up mildly with SAS Black Kit mod. Thought it would be great to have more CE-compatible gear. Now everybody has a SAS ghostmask, even medieval dudes. Ffs.

    Of course you have a say in this matter! You've spent everything on that dog - at least give him a name now.

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    Last edited: Oct 15, 2017
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  22. MercantileInterestgender: ⚧ Arcane

    MercantileInterest
    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2016
    Parrots:
    1,864,715
    :lol:
     
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    • it is a mystery it is a mystery x 1
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  23. Lagole Gongender: ⚧ Arcane

    Lagole Gon
    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2011
    Parrots:
    2,220
    Location:
    Retaken Potato
    Writers of this season have some kind of crush on Cheetah. This is Ramsey Bolton from GoT all over again.
     
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  24. Kalingender: ⚧ Arcane

    Kalin
    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2010
    Parrots:
    1,864,849
    Location:
    Human Hive
    Calling dibs on dat steel club! Superior quality means superior side weapon for Papa Kalin.

    Not likin this Cheetos business either, that was some haxxor charm trick. Must be innate womin racial ability.

    Oh yeah, that was some fine detective work though. Proffeshunal investigashun, case closed. :salute:
     
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  25. Aziragender: ⚧ Arcane Patron

    Azira
    Joined:
    Nov 3, 2004
    Parrots:
    7,667
    Location:
    Copenhagen, Denmark
    Codex 2012
    Just the foot that is infected? Amateur.. +M
     
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