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Kodex Kommunistic Kolony in Rimworld, Season 1

Joined
Mar 16, 2016
Messages
450
And as to Dreaad. Tell everyone he is still alive. We should collect him back, he's an interesting specimen, having survived so long on his own. He merits some research from yours truly. Maybe he'll react differently to anal candles? After months on his own?
Also, of course, confiscate all his goods.

Good. It's almost potato sowing time. Since he can't do anything anyway - he should just work alone on potato/hops fields 24/7.
 

Bliblablubb

Arcane
Joined
Mar 1, 2014
Messages
2,925
Location
Copium Den
Well, at least we have to thank Randy Random for this psychic event. It seems that even he wanted to clear up the controversy about LacCIS fluid quantum gender.
Now we are 91% sure it's a LacGirl, being not affected, without Azira having to violate physican-patient privilege.... as if Azira even knew what that is or gave a fuck.

Thanks Randy.. I guess. :salute:
 

Ashery

Prophet
Joined
May 24, 2008
Messages
1,337
And also a smelter - a nearly useless device that allows to melt stuff into marginal amounts of steel, while demanding a fuckton of power. The smelting itself is extremely slow too.

:rpgcodex:

Besides being one of the few ways to get a sustainable late-game source of steel? Those pistols you sold would've netted more worth by being smelted into steel than if you sold them outright, and melee weapons tend to be even better. Metal slag might be time consuming to haul, though trainable animals are great for that, but every set of supply pods is a free 30-60 steel. And sure it's power hungry, but that's why you turn it off at night.

The exact numbers for smelting are 20 steel for ranged weapons, which makes pistols great for smelting but makes it a bit pointless for others, and half base cost for all melee weapons.

For research, brewing since everyone's already voted for it, but the machine table really should be next; smithing doesn't offer armor options. However, that said, armor and weapons ain't cheap when it comes to steel, so I'm not sure what all you'll even be able to produce given the shortfall. The electric smelter that you disparaged might be an option, but without the free labor from animal haulers, it's going to be incredibly time consuming. But then, what else does Dreaad have to do?
 

Grimwulf

Arcane
Patron
Vatnik
Joined
Oct 1, 2014
Messages
4,045
Location
Kodex Kommunistic Kastle
Besides being one of the few ways to get a sustainable late-game source of steel?

It's still marginal. Bulk traders are the main lategame suppliers of steel. Also mechanoids, to some extent.

In any case, we have plenty of mountains around. Sooner or later we'll start diggin' tunnels all over the place.

Those pistols you sold would've netted more worth by being smelted into steel than if you sold them outright

Let's be realistic here, it would take an eternity before I could smelt those pistols. Silver, however, is always needed.

And sure it's power hungry, but that's why you turn it off at night.

I might be wrong on this, but turned off devices still eat away some amount of power (power loss). Dis is a tricky mechanic that eludes me.

so I'm not sure what all you'll even be able to produce given the shortfall.

We only need armour for fighting men. Kalin and Grimwulf mainly, coz Azira and lacgirl are using long range weapons. Two centipedes and a scyther should provide enough plasteel for several power armours, methinks.

But then, what else does Dreaad have to do?

Suffer for the glory of KKK.

:hero:
 
Joined
Mar 16, 2016
Messages
450
so I'm not sure what all you'll even be able to produce given the shortfall.

We only need armour for fighting men. Kalin and Grimwulf mainly, coz Azira and lacgirl are using long range weapons. Two centipedes and a scyther should provide enough plasteel for several power armours, methinks.

:bounce:

It's more like combat armor from fallout, not real power armor. Don't keep your hopes up. If you want real powerup ask for bionic parts. With 2 bionic arms for example you can mine 1.5 times more granite per day :troll:
 

Ashery

Prophet
Joined
May 24, 2008
Messages
1,337

It's generally smaller than what you can potentially get from bulk good traders, but it's consistent. I've been in positions where I've waited for over a year for an exotic goods ship so I could clear out my clothing warehouse and hopefully buy some bionics, and if you're short on steel and have to wait a year for a bulk goods merchant, you may well be fucked.

You're right in that you shouldn't have held onto those particular pistols; I was just pointing out that it's a way to get a better return on them.

All buildings use no power when outright turned off. I'm guessing you're thinking of AC and heaters that go into low power mode (10% base consumption) once the temperature reaches the target value.

You just might get enough plasteel from the three mechanoids for a single power armor, but you might actually be short by a bit. I can't really say how effective it'd be, though, as my one real game forced me to skip over using power armor due to high temperatures requiring me to use dusters. Don't overlook the other armors, though, as they still go a long way at reducing critical injuries (One shot destroying someone's stomach, for instance). The basic vest won't protect arms and legs, but at least those can be replaced unlike stomachs and such. It still uses over a hundred steel and a few components, though.
 

Grimwulf

Arcane
Patron
Vatnik
Joined
Oct 1, 2014
Messages
4,045
Location
Kodex Kommunistic Kastle
Pretty sure I managed to replace destroyed stomach back in the day. Bought a new one from organ traders. It was vanilla too (never played Rimworld with mods).

But maybe I was dru it was just a dream.
 

hostergaard

Educated
Joined
Jan 14, 2013
Messages
71
Dreaad, you should shave beard and make beard-wig. Then you wear beard wig and go to colony pretending to be someone else and join it anew. Then, at night you go to Grimwulf without beard-wig and haunt him. Not-Dreaad at day, terrible ghost Dreaad at night!

Of course, first build fridge for snow-waifu.
 

Bliblablubb

Arcane
Joined
Mar 1, 2014
Messages
2,925
Location
Copium Den
Dreaad, you should shave beard and make beard-wig. Then you wear beard wig and go to colony pretending to be someone else and join it anew. Then, at night you go to Grimwulf without beard-wig and haunt him. Not-Dreaad at day, terrible ghost Dreaad at night!

That would totally work, considering the massive amount of new KKKolonists joining each day without anyone really noticing, he could just blend in!
Nah, LacGirl would probably hail him with "Dreaad, you promised meeeee" as soon as he appears on the horizon and declare him father of the unborn worms.
On top of that Grimwulf might confuse him for a deer with that wig and go all KommiBerserk on him.
Even squat-sneaking in at night and hiding behind Grimwulf's dacha, whispering his devious plans at him while he rests (and drinks), could be tricky if someone sees him during the day...

UNLESS!

He could try and make a pigtailed wig, eyepatch and a club. Since Kalinski is the only one working and being away most of the time, it might be enough to fool the rest KKKolonists from a distance. Nobody likes Kalinski enough to take a closer look anyway. :obviously:

Tune in next week for the all new episode "The other Kalinski"! Only on the 'dex.

Rated M for containing crazy nyphomanic trannies, vatniks, alcohol abuse and squatting.
 
Last edited:

ERYFKRAD

Barbarian
Patron
Joined
Sep 25, 2012
Messages
28,231
Strap Yourselves In Serpent in the Staglands Shadorwun: Hong Kong Pillars of Eternity 2: Deadfire Steve gets a Kidney but I don't even get a tag. Pathfinder: Wrath I'm very into cock and ball torture I helped put crap in Monomyth
Guys, why is Dreaad allegedly a diplomat, despite having shit relations with everyone?

He's an elk in disguise bros. That's why.
 
Joined
Sep 19, 2012
Messages
784
you guys are being too hard on Dreaad, the man has done his time and it has clearly done him great good. the man's found a wife, and maybe there's a little snow baby (or dirt baby, since winter is ending) in their future. he's a family man now, he wouldn't throw it all away.
 

Grimwulf

Arcane
Patron
Vatnik
Joined
Oct 1, 2014
Messages
4,045
Location
Kodex Kommunistic Kastle
I WON'T LET HIM HAVE MY WIFE! Lockin' her up in the house of marble.

It's for your own safety, darling. It will be nice and comfortable inside, with a modern hi-tech cooler and fancy stuff.

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And a sturdy wooden door.

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I'll keep the only key. This way you'll never cheat on me again, АХАХА хахах аххахахахха хаха. Ха. By the way dear, have I ever told you about my old friend Comrade Ivanov? No. Well.

Comrade Ivanov once applied to join the Communist Party. Sooo the party committee conducted an interview.
"Comrade Ivanov, do you smoke?"
"Yes, I do a couple of times a day."
"Do you know that comrade Lenin did not smoke and advised other communists not to smoke?"
"If comrade Lenin said so, I shall cease smoking!"
"Do you drink?"
"Yes, sometimes, if the occasion warrants it."
"Comrade Lenin strongly condemned drunkenness."
"Then I shall cease drinking!"
"Comrade Ivanov, what about women?"
"Well you know, I sometimes....."
"Do you know that comrade Lenin strongly condemned amoral behavior?"
"If comrade Lenin condemned it, then I shall not love them any longer."
"Comrade Ivanov, would you be prepared to sacrifice your life for the Party?"
"Of course comrades. Who needs such life?"

XaxaxaxaxXAXAXAXAXaxa. Oh don't look at me like that! It was Comrade Ivanov who had other women, not me. Blyat.

Food is running out.

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Came up with a new plan recently. Plan Ы. I'm going to infiltrate the colony pretending to be a crazy scientist. Then I will sneak at Grimwulf's dacha at nights and pretend to be dead Dreaad! HE WILL DO WHAT I SAY! IT'S GENIOUS!

But first I'll have to prove I'm a scientist. Make some sort of... invention. WAIT! I know!

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DA!!!

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Do you ever wash your socks, Azira?

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Sometimes. In muffalo's blood.

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That explains the color. AND the smell. Ouch!

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Anybody wants a drink, gentlemen?

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"Never refuse a drink", as a great man once said.

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Who said that?

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A great man.

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B-but daddy! My nose is bleeding!

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I'll be back soon, lacgirl. Use a tampon.

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I don't have a tampon! Pregnant women don't need tampons!

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Then, err, use a sponge! Or a buttplug! See ya in a bit! *walks away* Phew.

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*hic* Ah, if it isn't the good doctor. Welcome! Welcome.

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Being the only competent doctor in the Kolony is pretty rough. So much work, not nearly enough time.

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Have a drink, doctor!

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... Your bottle is empty, Ryan. And it was the last one too.

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*hic* Oh?

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It's ok, though. *drinks something vile from a personal flask* It's ok. Shall we eat?

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Bon appetit!

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Why, thank you. There is something deeply satisfying in eating what you kill. *gnaws on muffalo steak*

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Riiight. Sooo... Do you agree with Grimwulf's general policy?

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Why wouldn't I? Ok, so maybe KKK is not the most luxurious settlement in the history of mankind.

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Maybe.

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But we are still alive. You won't find a safer haven on this whole planet.

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You have a point, murderous doctor. At least it's safe here... isn't it?

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OF COURSE it is, Ryan. Now, if you excuse me. I have a patient waiting to be execu-- treated, I mean.

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Meanwhile.


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HONEY, I'M ДОМА!

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Hon..? WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU NAKED, DIRTY WHORE?!

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...

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Don't give me that "I was waiting for you" look! Not gonna fall for it this time!

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...

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You should be ashamed! What have I done to deserve this?! I am the only one who cares about you, ungrateful suka!

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...

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That's it, I'm leaving!

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*mumbles* Dem boobies... :shredder: The temptation is stronk... Чёрт! Ok, HOROSHO, I forgive you! For the last time! Now. Come here, darling. Yeeeess, that's what I'm talking about. Ohhhh, chilly...

Meanwhile.


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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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Would you kindly lay still?

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These are just bruises!! Why do you have to push this... thing inside me every time I'm in pain?

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But is it really pain? Or maybe a sweet sensation of something Great about to happen?

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It's pain.

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How can you be sure? Take me, for example. Not so long ago I was sure I don't like you.

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But then I realized it's not about you! It's more about your personal traits and general ugliness.

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Did you just call me ugly?

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Lacgirl? Hey, take it easy!

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Would you people EVER shut up?

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I WILL RIP YOU ALL APART!!! RRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAGHH!

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You still have a candle inside you! AGH, what was that for?!

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Alright, that does it. *brutally strikes lacgirl's back with Peacekeeper mk. 2*

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She broke her spine while causing trouble.

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Lacgirl? Can you hear me? Hello? Wait, where did that candle go? Oh, noes...

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She's your problem now, doctor. I need some air.

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I am the law.

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Hhhnnnggg... Daddy? I love you~

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That kidney needs to go.

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W-what?

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The kidney. It needs to go.

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Uh-oh. Doctor Azira is going mental!

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WAIT, IT'S ME! YOUR ALMOST-LOVER! MY KIDNEYS ARE PERFECT!!

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I'll give you some privacy, komrades.

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SHREK! COME BACK!!

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Great job beating the shit out of lacgirl again, mr. Kalin.

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You want some tough clubbin' too?

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Uhh, no?

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Then fark off. *walks outside*

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*sighs* All I want is a single night of good sleep.

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*mumbles* And a bonus.

8th of Spring, 5501

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Phew. It's done.

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Thank you. *cries*

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Just doing my job.

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No, I mean... Thank you for not killing me.

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Oh. You're welcome? Anyway, I'm going to sleep now. Have a good, long rest.

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I need a short nap too.

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*yawns* Yeah, sweet dreams.

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THE MOTHERLAND NEEDS YOU, KOMRADES!!! WAKE UP AND WORK FOR THE GLORY OF KKK!

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Hrmpf. Where is everybody?

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Already working?

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Yeah, right. Mass suicide wouldn't surprise me.

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Your people need to rest, Grimwulf.

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As if I give a damn.

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Later that morning.

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You there! Private Greenbutt!

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I prefer to be adressed as... Independent military advisor Lime Inspiror.

Don't mind Kaspersky. He can be intusive like that.

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Do you want a demotion or smth?

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Demotion? Is there a fate worse than mine?

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Cannon fodder Marcus Castratus.

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That... doesn't sound dignified.

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Anyway, keep those stone blocks comin'. We'll need them for Grimlin soon.

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There is almost no stone chunks left in the area, Kommissar Grim Wolf.

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Find some. Steal some. I don't care, as long as I have building material!

Later.

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*moans* Not again...

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The bitch eats more than the whole Kolony combined!

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It's not me! It's the baby...

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I hope you choke on muffalo's balls.

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Good morning, komrades!

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*burrows her face into the plate*

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Someone's hungry...

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All she ever does is eating and vomiting. For fuck's sake, we should have banished her instead of Dreaad.

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WE'RE ALMOST OUT OF FOOD, YOU DIRTY SLUT!

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I'll cook more...

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YE, YOU'D BETTER DO IT! AND STOP EATING AWAY OUR FUCKING FOOD STORES, DAMMIT!!

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Psst, lacgirl. I think we'd better leave.

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Keep your distance, Shrek. I'll go back to daddy.

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*yawns* Morning already?

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Hello, daddy. It's just you and me, all alone in these cold, cold barracks... Tee-hee~

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Am I interruprting something?

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Curse you, Shrek.

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I came to check on Doctor's health.

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I'm fine, Ryan. Go away. I don't feel like talking to... your kind of people.

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... Huh?

A bit later.


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Kommissar Wulf, there is something wrong in KKK.

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What is it, private?

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People treat me like shit all of a sudden.

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"All of a sudden", hur hur hur.

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I mean... Something's changed! They used to love me!

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Maybe that's because you sold Kimmy into slavery.

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I wh-- WHAT??

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I mean, I tried to stop you. But you've made up your mind. And every man of KKK is free to do whatever he wants with his own woman.

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...

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Look at it this way. Let's say she was right here right now. You would become a happy couple, with your own private room and litte kids runnin' around. Annoying.

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Ummmm. Do you happen to have a drink, Komissar?

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Exactly! Your woman fetched a decent price. Now we can invest all that silver into alcohol! A bargain to die for.

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Hommmm...

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Look at you, private Greenbutt. You are becoming your old self again.

Later that morning.

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My endurance is unequaled! I just wasn't in the mood for them long runs, you know...

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...

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Oh, don't give me that silent treatment!

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We can do it again, after all. Err, in the evening. No, let's do it tomorrow.

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...

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Your mouth says nothing, but your places speak for themselves. *whispers* It's pretty wet there. Hm... Actually, your whole body is wet.

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Blyad. Are you ok, hon?

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...

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You're not ill, are you? *mumbles* I hope it's not contagious...

Later that day.


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WORK HARDER, slothful faggot! Before I bury my boot deep inside your ass!

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I dare you to try.

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PRIVATE GREENBUTT! We're almost out of granite blocks!

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*sweating profusely* I'm doing my best, Kommissar.

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THAT'S NOT ENOUGH! WAKE UP ALREADY! *bitchslaps*

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Хули ты вола ебешь?

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Hoh?

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Get a fucking grip.

Meanwhile.

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*yawns* Good... morning? Day? What a rough night.

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I know just the way to make you feel better, tee-hee~

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Lots and lots of quality alcohol.

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No alcohol left in the fridge. Well then.

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Can you take a look at those bruises on my left leg? I mean, a closer look?~

Later.


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Fucking granite. I hate fucking granite.

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Umm, you're doing great, mr. Kal--

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Shut it, greenbo. Can't wait to start living as a civilized men, leaving you and other scumbags in the slums behind.

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B-but why? I've done nothing wrong!

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Return to your duties, private. Don't distract Kalin - he's lazy as it is.

A bit later.


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Humm, Doctor Azira.

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Off with you, Ryan. The last thing I need right now is talking to slave traders.

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MU-HUH??

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No worries, you're still a fine specimen. I need to go to Grimwulfgrad.

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Azira. I thought you died in your sleep or something.

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Been a long night, Grim. Sorry, sorry. BUT! I am ready to help dig this sector.

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Say. What? Help..? HELP?!

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FUCK YOU, AZIRA!!! :x I'VE SPENT SEVERAL DAYS DIGGING THIS FUCKING SHIT NON STOP, WAITING FOR --FUCKING ANYBODY-- TO COME AND HELP, I'VE DONE IT ALL MYSELF, AZIRA!! WHILE YOU WERE HUNTING, STROLLING, DRINKING, FUCKING, CANDLE-PUSHING, EATING, SLEEPING--

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I am a busy man indeed.

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AND IF THAT'S WASN'T ENOUGH--

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Awright, I'm out.

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Food is running out? The hell..?

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German conspiracy.

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This ain't no laughing matter, Servant. *nom nom* What's that sound?

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Someone's vomiting in the kitchen.

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Told ya.

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Told me what?

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German conspiracy. Lacgirl is a spy. Isn't it obvious?

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No. It's not.

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She comes in, eats all the food she possibly can, then vomits, then eats all the food again. Smart move, Germany. Bravo.

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Can we try to be adequate, for a change? She's a pregnant woman in stress.

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We're dead people trying to manipulate a communistic madman into keeping this Kolony alive. It's too late to be adequate, Nelson.

Kalin and Azira FINALLY finished digging the crematory sector of Grimwulfgrad. They can focus on mining compacted steel from now on.

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While I shall finish the stone floor of Grimwulfgrad. Gotta polish this project to perfection before I move on.

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As for the others. Lacgirl has probably covered the whole kitchen in vomit. I'm not going there in the forseen future.

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Damn wymin. Private Greenbutt just walks around pretending to be busy and productive.

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But seriously. Lacgirl.

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Later that evening.


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Still have to build more turrets and autodoors in Grimwulfgrad. Still not enough power to sustain even the current ones.

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You need more power.

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Or less turrets...

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More power.

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Just turn off the the eastern half of Grimwulfgrad. There, problem solved!

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If you say one more word, I'll shove that pile of steel so deep inside your ass, you'll be crying tears of steel.

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... *shaking in silence*

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Power is life, Grimwulf. We live only to produce more power.

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Shh. I'm trying to concentrate.

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One day little Grimcubs will be playing around this power station, wondering who built that wonder of engineering. Then old Servant's ghost will approach them and moan "Meeeeee".

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You are weird and creepy, Servant. Even for a ghost.

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He used to be weird and creepy in life, that bastard.

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Why would anybody's children play around a power station?

Later that night.

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So tired. So hungry. Gotta lay down just for a moment...

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I wonder how am I going to build a cooler without steel, components and power source..?
 

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