In Progress Hatoful Boyfriend: I want to be a Pigeon!

[IronicNeurotic]

Yuuya next

 

[Hellraiser]

So he did love RK47-chan after all!

Yeah go with Yuuya now. I wonder what kind of mindfuck that route will have. So far only the pigeon did not have one.

 

[Darth Roxor]

Ah, the Troika school of design is still alive

 

[Thor Kaufman]

 

[LundB]

So... you know those weird 'hug pillow' things the Japanese make of animu characters?

There's a Hatoful one.

I'm waiting for Fat Doctor Shuu, myself.

 

[LundB]

I almost forgot, before I start Yuuya's route, here's what the Doctor's good ending unlocked in the archive.

Earlier unlocks

Other earlier unlocks

I feel like I'm just repeating myself, but seriously, something strange is going on here.

I don't like triple posting, but I want to keep the unlock posts separate for convenience's sake.

 

[LundB]

So for the Yuuya route, I'm assuming we start the same way the Shuu route does, picking infirmary duty (The only difference is this time I chose to increase CHA, not VIT, since Yuuya seems more that type). With that in mind, to see the first part of the route, you can reread these posts: Post1 Post2 Post3

So the choice we are faced with is this one:

Should we respect Yuuya's advice and the good doctor's privacy? Or should we take a look, see if we can find out anything important about our potential love interests in the doctor's files?

 

[Hirato]

hmm... I think I'll pick "Leave it alone," it's what Yuuya wanted afterall.

 

[Alex]

Darth Roxor
Come on, man, that was only Vampire. And if anything, they were being true to the source material

By the way, having RK47 looking like Larry managed to make this even creepier.

 

[Hellraiser]

Leave the desk alone.

 

[Chuftie]

leave it alone.

Also gotta say this game doesn't seem too tedious compared to that crippled girl adventure.

 

[Ulminati]

If I was at my computer with photoshop installed, I'd replace the Yes/Yes/Yes responses with Red/Green/Blue.

 

[IronicNeurotic]

Now.... What is wrong with this picture?

 

[LundB]

The doctor might show up and turn me into RK47 salami.

ED: Quite right RK47-chan. Last time, he caught you and talked about 'sticky fingers', and curiosity 'killing the cat, among other things'. Smart to avoid it this time. Question of the day: What does RK47 salami taste like?

ED: Our heroine lives in a cave. She is a human who lives in a cave and lives as a hunter-gatherer, while the birds she goes to school with buy pudding from stores. What the fuck is going on here?

Oh! Tomorrow is the class hike! Should I prepare anything? We won't be going far, so I don't have to... Well, health first! I think I'll have some udon and go to sleep.

ED: Since Yuuya's not an option, Ryouta can be comfortably friend-zoned, and copy-pasting makes my life easier, you're going to go with Ryouta, ok RK-chan?

: Huh? …is that your lunch, RK47?

: Yup! It's a CalorieMate.

ED: If it's good enough for Snake while he's saving the world, it's good enough for me.

: That's a pretty sad thing to bring on a picnic...

: No, it's not! A great man once said it's the ambrosia of the gods!

: Geez, if you eat like that you'll be dead on the roadside by the time we head back. Here, I'll share mine.

ED: Ryouta's full of shit, CalorieMate fully restores your stamina bar when used. Don't listen to him, RK47-chan.

: Really? Wow! Thanks, Ryouta!

And so I got to eat half of Ryouta's lunch. His cooking is so good! We can save the CalorieMate in case of a survival situation.

ED: Since I want this update to be a decent length, and people asked for Music class a few posts ago, I picked music. I don't know when the next class choice will be, but it would be great if people could pick now, since the choices are likely to be Math, Gym, or Music, same as always, and I don't want to stop every time. [Now that we're on Yuuya's, route, I'm just picking music.]

ED:

: I wonder what those wigs felt like... they look like they're wearing ptarmigans on their heads.

ED: Sakuya is clearly too prestigious and for RK47's nonsense.

RK47 leveled up! Charisma increased by 5!

: The sports festival is right around the corner. Please think about what you'll do!

: Sports festival season already...?

: If it were in the fall it would conflict with the cultural festival, so it's always been in May.

: What are you going to do, Ryouta?

: I haven't decided, but... probably the three-legged race. Somebirdie has to.

: Cooo! (Okosan will handle the marathon! Indeed he will!)

: You do have a lot of stamina, Okosan... what about you, Sakuya?

: You can't possibly be expecting me to run in some race, can you?

: It is a sports festival. Is there an event that doesn't involve running...?

: How about being a cheerleader?

: The general, in other words... very well. Leave it to me.

ED: Yes, Sakuya, that is exactly what a cheerleader is.

: Umm... I don't think that's...

: Also, the first-aid team is always shorthanded, so I'm sure they could use help if anybirdie still can't decide. That's all for today.

Ryouta's doing the three-legged race, Okosan's running the marathon, and Sakuya's a cheerleader. Yuuya might be running the first-aid tent... What should I do? I'll have to think about it.

I never did make up my mind. What should I do?

ED: How about going to the first aid tent, RK-chan. Perhaps Yuuya will want to... play doctor.

: Umm... I heard the first-aid team was shorthanded.

'Salutations'??

ED: He's trying to sound sophisticated, RK-chan. Trying.

: Alas! Spurned for the sake of medicine. I must work harder to prove my love. Anyway, happy to have you. As you can see, we have plenty of work to do.

: Aah... the obstacle course does always hurt a lot of birds. Why use a game designed for humans?

: Beyond me, mon amie. I suppose it's tradition.

: Where's the doctor? Shouldn't he be here, too?

: Over there.

He's resting in the shade of a tree, some distance away. It looks like he's taking notes on the performance of the birds on the race track...

ED: Probably keeping tabs on Okosan's reaction to the roids he's been giving him.

: What's he doing over there?

: He doesn't want to ruin his girlish complexion working in the heat. He does the same thing every year.

: Is he taking notes on something?

: A lot of the birds graduating from this school get scouted by pro sports teams, so maybe he's checking up on the promising ones? Uh-oh, they've started. We'll be busy soon –get ready, mon amie.

: Yes, sir!

And so I spent the sports festival patching up damaged pigeons with Yuuya. I learned some first-aid from him, so it was time well spent...... I think?

We're getting them back today... Aaaaah, I don't think I did too well.

: RK47!

: Yes!

: You worked hard. Keep going like that and you'll do just fine. One day, you could surpass me. I'd love to see that!

ED: Yes, you might be able to intellectually surpass a bird with a brain less than half the size of a human testicle. The mind boggles at such high achievement.

… I guess I did pretty well, after all! And Mr. Nanaki seems happy with me too. Yay!

With the festival and the midterm over, there's nothing to look forward to but summer heat. Doves smell kind of funny when it gets humid like this... Huh? There's a bunch of birds in front of the staffroom. What are they doing? Oh! There's Yuuya.

: Yuuya! What's going on?

: Salutations, RK47! Brian won his seventh Pulitzer!

He gestures at a news clipping on the staffroom pinboard. It says “Brian, the first Intelligent Pigeon, Crowned Again”.

: Brian..?

: Don't tell me you don't know who he is!?

: I think I've heard the name, but...

ED: Not only do birds go to school, but you can win 7 Pulitzers for blogging. This is a dark future indeed.

: He's a very skilled and insightful writer. He was the one who suggested that the dove olympics be called the 'Pigeolympics'. He's extremely influential – the name was adopted right away. Why don't you look him up right now, mon amie? Try Googling 'Brian Pigeon'.

ED: The blog is real: http://pigeonblog.wordpress.com. Entries from all the way back in 2005.

: Okay!

: Okay! ….uh oh, lunch is nearly over. Adieu, RK47!

I wonder what I should do during break...

ED: Let's go to the store, RK47-chan. Maybe Hisao and Lilly will be there, and we can poop on their heads.

I've never really looked around there before.

Though, these nest-building materials... look like what you'd find in a human store's trash.

: My, how mature of you, mon amie. Planning to settle down already?

: N-no, that's not it! I'm still a highschool student...!

: That may be so, but you know we pigeons reach sexual maturity within a year of birth.

ED: He wants to bang you, RK. However, he might be a pedo apologist.

...They do!? That seems a little hasty.

: Th-that aside, what are you here to buy, Yuuya?

: Your love, of course.

: My l.............!? Yuuya, that's... We're not............!?

: I'm not good enough? Oh well, I'll have to try again later.

Is this how he talks to every girl he meets...?

So, does RK47-chan let it slide, hoping not to offend him? Or do we think that Yuuya would prefer a more spirited maiden, willing to speak her mind, more challenging than his previous conquests?

 

[Hirato]

Just who do you think RK47 is?
He's a fellow Codexer, of course he's going to speak his mind!

 

[Hellraiser]

Let it slide, nippon prefers its women submissive.

 

[lightbane]

Show him that she's not a weakling.

 

[LundB]

In this update, RK47 avoids having to eat Yuuya yet again. Hopefully.

: What is?

: That sort of... loose talk. Like I'm a game, or something.

: You know, that's the first time a girl's ever said that to me.

: I'm surprised.

: Thank you, mon amie. I'll carry this warning in my pigeon heart forever. Adieu!

ED: Well RK47-chan, he didn't seem upset. That was probably the right choice. At the very least, he thinks you're intriguing. Anyway, another elective day, another music class. RK47 levels up!

There's probably a bamboo tree in the plaza this year, too... I think I'll go make a wish.

ED:

ED: RK47-chan, he devoted his wish to you!

ED: Teacher cannot into wishes.

What should I wish for?

ED: Unlike the others, RK47 only has time for selfish wishes. Shame on you RK47-chan! Yuuya seems the artistic type, so let's go with that option. Also, it's the only one you haven't tried yet, RK-chan.

: Oh, hello... is that you, RK47?

: Mister Nanaki!

: You should be careful out this late! It can be dangerous for a girl, you know.

ED: It's not like all the potential rapists are a fraction of your size and hollow-boned... oh wait.

:I was about to head home. Would you like me to walk you to your place?

ED: More electives, more musics.

Cleaning the classroom took longer than usual. I need to hurry to the infirmary!

: What is it? I'm in a bit of a hurry...

: Nothing much. Just... have you heard of the seven mysteries of St. Pigeonation's, RK47?

: This school even has its own horror stories? Do tell.

: Yeah. Well... there's one that says that sometimes students will disappear in the infirmary only to show up again as food in the dining hall and quill pens in the school store.

ED: As a member of the infirmary staff, this is a major slur on our heroine's professional conduct.

: Sounds like an urban legend to me.

: It does, but... Doctor Iwamine is pretty suspicious. Be careful, okay?

: You go to the infirmary a lot, right? Has he ever done anything to you?

: No, but... Well, you're a girl, RK47. I'm a little worried.

: That's true. I'll be careful.

Ryouta always has been one to overthink things. Anyway, can't keep Yuuya waiting!

Huh? Yuuya and the doctor are talking about something.

Music: Shit's going down.

: You sure look like you woke up on the wrong side of the nest. What are you talking about?

: I shouldn't have to explain. You know exactly what I'm talking about. I have told you never to touch my desk, haven't I?

: And what makes you think I ever have?

This doesn't look too good...

: Umm...

: ! There you are, mon amie! RK47 can back me up on this. We were in the courtyard together until a few minutes ago. She said she was going to the restroom, so I should go ahead. I only just got here. In other words, I haven't had the time to go rifling through your stuff, doctor. Right, mon amie?

Just what is going on here? It sounds like the doctor suspects Yuuya of having gone through his desk while he was out... I came straight from the classroom to here, so Yuuya's obviously lying.

ED: You want to romance Yuuya this time, RK-chan, not eat him. Cover for him.

: That's right. Yuuya and I were having a sexy and luxurious sunbath in the courtyard up until a few moments ago.

ED: I just said cover for him, RK47-chan, not... that. What if you contradicted something you hadn't heard in Yuuya's story? It's best to keep lies believable but simple, especially when you're coordinating them with another person's. Don't be such an amateur.

: Sexy and luxurious it was indeed. Well, doctor?

: ...Very well. I shall have to wait for more solid evidence. Please, do be careful.

: Of course, doctor.

: Forgive me, mon amie. I can't explain right now. But... one day.

And he's gone. What was that supposed to mean? Is something really happening in this infirmary?

: RK47!

: Sir!?

: You didn't do too badly... I think...

: Y-yes..?

: You... nevermind, you did badly. Sorry.

: ...noooo...

: Try harder next time, okay?

I disappointed Mr. Nanaki... I'll have to study more from now on.

ED: I guess going to only music classes didn't do wonders for our academics. C&C!

Today's the last day! It's been a semester already... sometimes it seemed long and sometimes it seemed short, but either way, it's summer now! I should probably find out if I need to come to school to clean the infirmary at all.

: Well, I will be here just about every day the building is open... but there isn't any real need for you to come too.

: There's nothing I could do to help?

: No. Was there anything else?

Does RK47 want to prod the Fat Doctor in an uncomfortable place? Or should she ignore Ryouta's absurd conspiracy theories?

So, the question once again. Do we question the Fat Doctor, or do we just let it slide, hoping we stay under his radar of murder?

 

[Hirato]

I can definitely see reasons for both...

Yuuya seems to be on top of his game though, so let's not ask.

 

[LundB]

In this update: A Bird, a Woman, and the Unforgiving Nighttime Streets of the Living City. The Scent of Garbage Lingers in the Summer Rain.

: I will ask you to leave, then. You aren't an unpleasant companion, but I have many experiments to conduct.

I got kicked out again. What did he mean by “experiments”, anyway? Like a chemist does?

ED: The bit where RK47 goes for a run through a ruined city and has to decide whether or not to get a job happens here. She chose not to get a job, and I'm not going to copypaste that whole thing again.

: Oh! Yuuya! Sorry, did I keep you waiting?

: Don't worry about it. A gentleman never keeps a lady waiting, so I always show up half an hour early.

That's... pretty early.

: Shall we go, mon amie?

: Eh...!?

: Don't tell me you're a hand-holding virgin?
ED: Seriously, RK47?

: Better late than never. You were the one who invited me. Okay?

: Umm... okay.

His feathers are... soft...

: Umm, Yuuya...!

: What is it? Do you want to play some more? The night is yet young, and if dangerous games are your desire, I will accompany you.

: Th-that's not what I meant! I... wanted to ask you something.

: Of course. Just, my height and weight are classified information, so I can't tell you those.

: Why did you lie to doctor Iwamine?

FLASHBACK

: In other words, I haven't had time to go rifling through your stuff, doctor. Right, RK47?

BACK TO THE PRESENT

Music: The Truth?

: But you told the doctor that we'd been together. Why?

: That was... a month ago, now. I was hoping my obligation to explain had lapsed.

ED: You can't escape a hunter-gatherer's memory that easily.

: You knew I was lying. So why did you play along?

: Because... the doctor looked mad? I felt like if I didn't help you, he was going to do something to you--... hey! I'm asking the questions here!

: Ahaha. Sorry, mon amie. Your hunter-gatherer instincts are too sharp for me. But yes, if you hadn't helped me back then... I'd probably be in little plastic bags in the freezer by now.

: Th-that's not funny!

: Indeed, it isn't funny at all. And it's not a joke. Ahaha.

: Please, give me a straight answer, Yuuya...

ED:

: No, I meant...

: ! Uhh, RK47, could you do me a favor?

: What now? You're just trying to avoid the question again.

: Ssshhh. Listen, I'll only say this once...

??? What's going on? His usual detached air is gone. He's looking around, almost nervously...

: ...I'm sorry, mon amie. It looks like we had better split up. Can you get home all right by yourself?

: O-of course I...

: Good girl. We'll part ways as soon as we reach that intersection. I'll head into an alleyway, so go straight home. Don't look back. The night roads are laden with traps. Be careful. Adieu, mon amie!

He turns briskly, and disappears into a narrow alley. What on earth is going on? He told me not to look back, but...

[The sound of a suppressed gunshot]

!
A gunshot...!?

ED:

“Did you make it home in one piece? I'll be visiting you in your dreams, mon amie, so sleep well.”
The message bears no trace of the tension I felt in him earlier. Are you all right, Yuuya...?

He really is a mysterious bird. I think I'll assume his existence is one of the seven mysteries of St. Pigeonation's.

I think I'll get some udon and go home before I get life counseled.

Wait... isn't that... Yuuya? He's rummaging around in a garbage can.

: Yuuya, what are you doing?! Have you fallen so far, mongrel?

: Good evening, mon amie. You sound rather like a certain someone.

: I-I can't believe you need to fish around in trash cans for food, Yuuya...!

: Please, don't misunderstand, mon amie. I was looking for something. Sadly, no clues were to be found in this barrel.

Clues...? What is he talking about?

: Let's keep this a secret from Sakuya, shall we? I would hate for him to have new names for me when school starts up again.

: “Mister garbage disposal”!

ED: RK47-chan, you are awful at insults.

: Something like that. I would like to escort you home, mon amie, but unfortunately I am somewhat busy at the moment. Will you be all right on your own?

: A hunter-gatherer can always find her way home!

: Indeed. Adieu, mon amie!

Only the smell of garbage remains as he strides off into the night, but the mysteries don't. What was he looking for?

ED: The Scent of Garbage Lingers in the Summer Rain. I'm poetic, right RK-chan?

I slept way too late! School starts today, right? I'm gonna be late!

: Oh, hello, RK47!

: Sir! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I overslept!

: Overslept..?

: ...aaah! My homework! I forgot to bring my homework!

: Aren't you getting a little ahead of yourself, RK47?

: Huh?

: What's the number in the top left-hand corner say?

: Oooh...

: You're just a little bit early.

: Waaah...

: Though, since you're here... could you lend me a hand for a bit, RK47?

: Lend you a hand?

: I was about to start grading the freshmen's exams, and I thought maybe you could help, if you don't have something else... of course, you have a test in September, so if you want to go and study in the library...

: Oh? Have fun! I'll see you tomorrow.

: Coo! (Okosan is always having fun!)

: Yup, yup.

: What is this "fun"?

ED: This guy sure thinks he's . He probably posts on the Codex.

: Once summer's over, time starts slipping by faster than ever. Try to stay focus.......ed....zzz

: Focus, sir! Focus!

: A student ID?

Whose is it? Someone from 2-2? ...not a name I recognize. Should go find their classroom? They might already have gone home, though... Well, any teacher will do, right?

ED: Much better choice this time around, RK47-chan.

: ...zzzzzz.

: SIR!!

: Oh! Hello, RK47. Did you forget to turn in your homework...?

: I found someone's ID card, sir. It's someone from 2-2... I thought I should take it here.

: Oh? Thank you, RK47, I can take care of it... huh?

: What is it?

: Nothing, just... you did find this today, right, RK47?

: Yes. In the corridor just outside...

: This student has been absent since the middle of June... how strange.

So then, was the card lying there all summer? Nobirdie noticed it? It's awfully clean, though... shouldn't it at least be dusty?

: Anyway, I'll take care of it. Thank you, RK47.

ED: Another elective day, another music class.

RK47 Leveled Up! Charisma increased by 5!

Didn't Yuuya say his class was doing a butler cafe in the courtyard? Hrrm. As a member of the maid team, I can't ignore this threat.

So bros, does RK47 do the honourable thing, and just center on our own event? Or does she spy on Yuuya's class' Butler cafe, to get an edge over the competition?

 

[Hirato]

The only true choice is for RK47 to ogle Yuuya-kun from the shadows

 

[Hellraiser]

The french spy-bird is no doubt into voyeurism. I think he will enjoy being spied upon.

So spy on him.

 

[Thor Kaufman]

Spy obv

 

[Tsukasa Buddha]

Wow, Yuuya is surprisingly more entertaining than I thought he would be.

Spy!

 

[Stereotypical Villain]

Hatoful Boyfriend is making my into a Hateful Boyfriend.

Ho-ho-ho.

...

........

I await a death which will never come.