Tacticular Cancer: We'll have your balls

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Gahahaha, let's play Sengoku Rance! (NSFW)

Discussion in 'Codex Playground' started by Hümmelgümpf, Oct 28, 2009.

  1. Hümmelgümpf Arbiter

    Hümmelgümpf
    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2007
    Messages:
    2,949
    Location:
    St. Petersburg, Russia
    [​IMG]
    Welcome to an LP of the hive's favorite hentai strategy game, Sengoku Rance! First things first, this is not a Let's-Enjoy-A-Bad-Game-In-A-Highbrow-Ironic-Way-As-We-Chuckle-Smugly-And-Clean-Our-Monocles kind of thread. You see, against all odds, Sengoku Rance is not a bad game. While it lacks the depth of HoM&M, to say nothing of even more complex 4X games, it definitely has a certain board game charm to it. Even better, there's stuff like dungeon crawling and searching for magic items layered on top of the basic strategy gameplay. A kickass soundtrack doesn't hurt.

    More importantly to the Codex, the game's replayablility is pretty damn high. You're limited to 30 commanders, which means that it's impossible to try all different troop combination on your first run through the game. There's also only so much territories you can conquer before the main storyline kicks in, preventing you from gathering all unique commanders and seeing all of their balance destroying abilities in one playthrough. Also also, there are several non-canon routes that branch out of the main storyline roughly halfway through if certain conditions are met and diverge from the true route quite significantly.

    With that said, let's get this thread started.

    Table of Contents

    Introduction - Just scroll a bit lower.
    Chapter 1
    Chapter 2
    Chapter 3



    Introduction

    [​IMG]
    In the midst of heavy fog, there are many men. Screams and yells. Sounds of armshields and tassets clashing. Sounds of feet stomping on the ground. The sounds of a battlefield -

    [​IMG]
    In contrast, the small girl next to him looks busy.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG] And you're still wearing normal clothes. Please at least put your chain mail on.
    [​IMG] Okay, okay. I will, Kou.

    *Pat* *Pat* Nobunaga pats Kou's head.

    [​IMG] G-Geez! You're too carefree!
    [​IMG] Good girl. Good girl.
    [​IMG] Please listen to me!

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG] May I?
    [​IMG] Yes. What is it, Ran?
    [​IMG] The scouts have returned. Kubota Hougen's army has been deployed. They have about 800 men. Kubota Azuki and Hira Munamoto's armies are already deployed to our front.
    [​IMG] I see. They must be serious.
    [​IMG] They wouldn't go this far unless they were serious.
    [​IMG] Yes... You're right.
    [​IMG] Nobunaga-sama. Please allow me, Mitsuhide, to try to persuade Kubota Hougen.

    Akechi Mitsuhide walks up to the three talking in the middle of the encampment.

    [​IMG] This is no time to be having a civil war within the Oda family. The war will only benefit other countries, and we have nothing to gain.

    A large shadow appears behind Mitsuhide.

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG] It's not that simple. You should know too about who is behind Kubota, Mitsuhide.
    [​IMG] Ugh...

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG] Damn Kubota... He's not acting like a man at all.
    [​IMG] Well... I would praise their spirit and rationality in trying to use everything they can.
    [​IMG] Please do not say such a thing.
    [​IMG] I really do think so.
    [​IMG] Oh... This is so pitiful. He's opposing the most generous man in Japan who would not even speak poorly of his betrayers.
    [​IMG] But Nobunaga-sama. He may not have betrayed you because he wanted to. So we should try to talk things out before we go ahead and fight...
    [​IMG] Stop being a chicken, Mitsuhide!
    [​IMG] We knew for a while that Kubota has concerned himself with Ashikaga. I don't know who's using whom, but it's true that they're trying to overthrow the Oda family. There is no need to plead for him, Mitsuhide.
    [​IMG] Hm... Hmm...
    [​IMG] Well, this would have never happened unless the opportunity had arisen.

    Two people walk up to the center of the encampment from within the fog. A sound of armor different from the ones people around here are wearing.

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG] Welcome back, Rance.

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG] Welcome back, Sill-san. It must have been hard to travel on the mountain path.

    Kou hads Sill, who is completely exhausted, a cup of water.

    [​IMG] T-Thank you, Kouhime-sama.

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG] Thanks.

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG] They're good. They're more trained than I thought they would be.
    [​IMG] Well, Japan is in an age of war. Of course we're prepared.
    [​IMG] But you guys have such lightweight protection. Is it any good?
    [​IMG] From my point of view, you're too heavily equipped.
    [​IMG] Hmph. This is just about right. Well, what should we do?
    [​IMG] Do as you wish. I'm leaving Oda up to you.
    [​IMG] Yeah, that's right. I'm the secret controller of this country, after all. I'll do what I want. But can I? The enemy used to be your men, right?
    [​IMG] Yeah... But if they're rebelling at a time like this, I'm sure they were bound to rebel sooner or later. So it can't be helped.
    [​IMG] All right. Let's go!

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG] But...
    [​IMG] Shut up.
    [​IMG] Guh!

    Katsuie squeezes Mitsuhide's cheeks together and makes him look like an octopus.

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG] Hm? You look dejected, Ran.
    [​IMG] Yeah...

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG] Let's go, guys!! Tooooooh!!

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG] But... Is Rance really that strong?
    [​IMG] ...I don't know.
    [​IMG] What should we do if we lose?
    [​IMG] Geez, Brother!

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
    The combat system is very similiar to Disciples. Troops are positioned before the battle starts and can't be moved after that. Both armies are split into two rows. You put melee fighters in the front row, and support units in the back row. Back row units can't be attacked by melee units until the front row is completely destroyed. Archers and the like are obviously exempt from this rule and can attack any unit on the battlefield.

    One of the main differences from Disciples is presence of not one but two basic melee types: warriors and foot soldiers. Warriors (sword icon) are exactly what you'd expect them to be: they're good for kicking ass in direct combat, but can't do anything else. Foot soldiers (shield icon), on the other hand, don't deal nearly as much damage, but have higher defense and guard ability. Guard not only increases their defenses even further, it forces an enemy stack who tried to attack a unit located in the same row as the foot soldier to attack foot soldiers instead. It's usually a good idea to keep a foot soldier in the back row to protect your support units from enemy archers and ninja.

    [​IMG]
    Moving along, see colored arrows on some of the portraits? They represent stat boosts (red is attack, blue is defense, purple is intelligence, green is speed), and that's what you need tacticians (rod icon) for. In addition to buffing your units, they can remove stat boosts from enemy units and perform somewhat pathetic bow attacks.

    [​IMG]
    A battle ends when one of three conditions is fullfilled:
    1. One side is completely destroyed.
    2. All surviving units run out of action points (represented by flags near the portrait of a unit). Some actions cost more than one AP to do.
    3. The battle goes for too long. When the green bar in the middle of the screen goes from 24 to 0 the battle ends automatically. Note that some units can manipulate the time bar by either substracting from it or adding to it.

    In cases 2 and 3 the victor is determined by the horizontal bar at the top of the screen. It goes right as you deal damage and goes left when damage is dealt to you. Once again, some units can manipulate this bar directly with their special abilities, both active and passive.

    [​IMG]
    This is a tutorial battle, so the victory is earned easily.

    [​IMG]
    The Oda encampment erupts with yells of victory.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG] B-Brother... You're being mean.
    [​IMG] Gahahaha.
    [​IMG] He doesn't notice...

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
    Flashback time.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG] Yup. Is it different for you?
    [​IMG] Um... I'm drinking water.
    [​IMG] Gahaha. That's right. Tea is too good for you slaves.
    [​IMG] *Sob* *Sob*
    [​IMG] But it sure is good not to have to worry about money. I can even come to Japan for a hot spring vacation.
    [​IMG] But Rance-sama. There's a limit to the money we received at Zeth. We have to save money somehow.
    [​IMG] Give me some more dango!
    [​IMG] Oh... Ohh...
    [​IMG] Dango, dango. A lot of dango. So give me some too.
    [​IMG] Shut up.
    [​IMG] But I can't eat.
    [​IMG] Then don't ask for some!
    [​IMG] Actually, don't speak at all, Chaos. The girls here in Japan will get scared and not come near me.
    [​IMG] That's...
    [​IMG] True.
    [​IMG] Damn.
    [​IMG] Dango, dango. Yup. It's great to be able to eat a lot of good dango.
    [​IMG] And the weather has been good, too.
    [​IMG] Yup.
    [​IMG] U-Um... W-Well... Um... Doesn't it seem like a honeymoon with just the two of us?
    [​IMG] Not at all.
    [​IMG] *Sob* *Sob*
    [​IMG] The weather's good, the food's good, and the hot spring was good. And...
    [​IMG] The women here are smaller and have lighter skin compared to the women in the Free Cities. This is a new experience. It's good. The woman I did yesterday, Yoshiko-san, had a big butt, but that was good too. Yoshiko-san...
    [​IMG] Yoshiko-san? Hey, Sill. Was the woman I fucked yesterday called Yoshiko-san?
    [​IMG] Um... Probably...
    [​IMG] *Smack*

    Rance hits Sill's head.

    [​IMG] Ouch!
    [​IMG] You're a slave, so you should know the name of the girl your master had sex with last night.
    [​IMG] Oh... That's terrible...

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG] Oh, you're a cutie. But you need to grow a bit more.
    [​IMG] Thank you for waiting. Here's more dango.
    [​IMG] Thanks. Did you make these with your pretty little hands?
    [​IMG] No. My brother made them.
    [​IMG] Brother... You mean that dirty-looking man who was carrying the plates?
    [​IMG] Geez. Please don't make such remarks about my brother.
    [​IMG] Thank god you don't look like your brother. Gahahaha.
    [​IMG] That's not true. We look alike.
    [​IMG] Kou-chan. Can I have some dango too?
    [​IMG] Right away.

    [​IMG]
    *Growl*

    [​IMG] Hm, I heard a sound. From here!

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG] But I heard the sound from here.
    [​IMG] That's because the dango look so tasty...
    [​IMG] Do you want some?
    [​IMG] *Nod* *Nod*
    [​IMG] All right. Open your mouth.
    [​IMG] Eh...!?
    [​IMG] Ahh.
    [​IMG] A-Ahh...
    [​IMG] *Munch*
    [​IMG] Ahh... Ahhhh!!
    [​IMG] Gahahaha. That's what you get for wanting to eat something I eat, even though you're a mere slave.
    [​IMG] Ohh...
    [​IMG] Hm... Kou? Hey, that girl was called Kou-chan, right?
    [​IMG] Yes.
    [​IMG] So she has the same name as the princess here in Owari?
    [​IMG] By the way, why did we come all the way here to Owari?
    [​IMG] Oh. I heard that Kouhime of Owari is beautiful. So I came to fuck her.
    [​IMG] Eh...?
    [​IMG] My next target is Shira of Helman or Kouhime of Japan! I'm going to take both their virginities, and then start a transcontinental journey to take the virginity of every princess! That's my ambition!
    [​IMG] Eh... Eh...?
    [​IMG] That's right. I forgot about it since I went to the hot spring and had sex with many girls.
    [​IMG] If it's an ambition you forgot about, how about going back home now...?
    [​IMG] That's not a choice.
    [​IMG] Ohh...
    [​IMG] Hmm... That Kou-chan is really cute. But she's still way too young.
    [​IMG] I'll come and take her in 5 years. Gahahaha.
    [​IMG] All you can come and take are my dango and tea.

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG] Here, for the lady with the fluffy hair.

    The man places a cup of tea in front of Sill.

    [​IMG] Eh...?
    [​IMG] I heard your stomach growl. It's on me, so you can have these.

    He places a plate of dango next to the tea.

    [​IMG] Oh, the dango too? Can I?
    [​IMG] Go ahead.
    [​IMG] Thank you!
    [​IMG] *Grab* *Munch* *Munch*
    [​IMG] Oh... Ahhhh!!
    [​IMG] Gahahaha. It sure is good. It's too good for a slave to eat.
    [​IMG] Ohh... Ohh...
    [​IMG] Man, your boyfriend's mean.
    [​IMG] B-Boyfriend!?
    [​IMG] *Blush*
    [​IMG] Am I wrong?
    [​IMG] She's my slave! I'm going to hit her like this! She's not my girlfriend!!
    [​IMG] Ouch... Please stop, Rance-sama.
    [​IMG] Hahaha. Your boyfriend's pretty shy.
    [​IMG] I said I'm not!!

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG] Hey.
    [​IMG] ?
    [​IMG] You can't call me brother when we're working.
    [​IMG] Oh...
    [​IMG] Now, what are you supposed to call me?
    [​IMG] C-Come on. I can call you brother, right?
    [​IMG] It's wartime. We have to be careful not to reveal our identities. So this is part of the training. Come on, Kou.
    [​IMG] Oh... Ohh...
    [​IMG] Call me An-chan.
    [​IMG] I-I can't. I've said this before, but this is... too embarassing.
    [​IMG] I won't make dango unless you call me that.
    [​IMG] What!?
    [​IMG] I want some dango!
    [​IMG] Oh... Ohh...!
    [​IMG] Go ahead. An-chan.
    [​IMG] Uh... Uhh!
    [​IMG] Come on, Kou.
    [​IMG] Uhh... Uwaaa!! Then I'll make the dango!
    [​IMG] Oh, hold on! Your dango are weapons, so don't! You'll kill people with them!
    [​IMG] Ohhh...
    [​IMG] I'm sorry. It's my fault. I had to make fun of you because you're so cute.

    *Pat* *Pat* Nobunaga pats her head.

    [​IMG] Ohh... You're so mean, Brother.
    [​IMG] Here, I made some dango. Go take them to the customers.
    [​IMG] Oh... Okay.

    Kou wipes away her tears and takes the dango.

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG] She is the princess, after all.
    [​IMG] Huh!?
    [​IMG] Yup. She's the Kouhime you were talking about.
    [​IMG] Huh? Huh?
    [​IMG] Welcome to Owari, foreigner.
    [​IMG] Wait. She called you brother, so that means...
    [​IMG] I'm Owari's ruler, Oda Nobunaga.

    He points to himself.

    [​IMG] Wait... But the dango cafe?
    [​IMG] Yes... This is just a coverup. ...... Okay, I'm lying. This is just a hobby of mine. I'm also training so I can make money even I'm not the ruler. Aren't my dango good?
    [​IMG] Yup, they're good.
    [​IMG] Ohh... I haven't eaten any...
    [​IMG] All right, here's some on me. Make sure you don't let your boyfriend take them this time.
    [​IMG] Eh? Um...
    [​IMG] I'm not her boyfriend!!
    [​IMG] You're giving them away again... The profit's going to go down again...
    [​IMG] It's fine, it's fine. They said they're good. It's the best compliment you can get, so it's fine.
    [​IMG] Rance-sama... Can I eat them?
    [​IMG] Don't ask me. Do what you want.
    [​IMG] O-Okay... I'll eat them. *Munch* Oh... It's good. It's really good...
    [​IMG] That's good.

    *Pat* *Pat* Nobunaga pats her head.

    [​IMG] Hey, don't touch her!
    [​IMG] ......

    *Pat* *Pat*

    [​IMG] Gahhhh! Don't pat my head!!
    [​IMG] Hahaha.
    [​IMG] I'm sorry. It's his hobby to pat people's heads...
    [​IMG] What kind of hobby is that!?
    [​IMG] Oh, I'll give you this too.

    Nobunaga hands a small bag to Sill.

    [​IMG] There's a picture of Kou-sama on here. What is this?
    [​IMG] There are some peeled chestnuts inside. They're really good. I give them away to everyone who stops by here.
    [​IMG] Ohhh... You're distributing those things again! Please stop!
    [​IMG] It's all right. It's to let everyone know how cute you are.
    [​IMG] That's exactly what I don't want you to do!
    [​IMG] Hahaha. You're so cute, Kou.

    *Pat* *Pat*

    [​IMG] Geez, Brother!
    [​IMG] Chestnuts in a bag with a picture of a girl... ...... This is erotic!
    [​IMG] Hahaha, I'm glad you're so energetic, but please don't have obscene thoughts about my precious sister.

    [​IMG]
    The flashback ends.

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG] 'Those who want to conquer other countries can go ahead. I'm not interested in such things.' 'Then I'll take your place. Gahahaha.' 'Sure. But all I want is peace in Owari. I don't want you to take over too many countries since it's too much of a bother.' 'All right. I hate bothersome things as well.' 'Hahaha. We get along well.' A conversation between two drunk people turned out like that... No wonder Nobunaga-sama's subordinates were angry.

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG] Really? Wait... Did I just say that out loud?
    [​IMG] Oh, Rance.
    [​IMG] What?
    [​IMG] I forgot to tell you something. I won't give you Kou's chastity even in 5 years.
    [​IMG] Hm.
    [​IMG] I dearly love my sister, so I'm a big obstacle to overcome. Hahaha.

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG] It's nothing. You're so cute, Kou.

    *Pat* *Pat*

    [​IMG] Geez, Brother...

    [​IMG]
    Thus the introduction ends and the first turn starts. In the next update I'll explain how the global map works and start a war. Maybe I'll even win this war, as it shouldn't take more than 4 turns.
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  2. racofer Thread Incliner

    racofer
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    Your ignore list.
  3. spekkio Arcane

    spekkio
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    Really, OP: I clicked this thread hoping for some tentacle-action and so far I am dissapont.
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  4. Hümmelgümpf Arbiter

    Hümmelgümpf
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    In tomorrow's update. I just covered the intro, man.
    ^ Top  
  5. Emotional Vampire Arbiter

    Emotional Vampire
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    As usual, the japs' ability to make long, boring, and pointless intros in unmatched.
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  6. Overweight Manatee Scholar

    Overweight Manatee
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    It's a minute of text to read with an introduction battle. Far, far better then 15 min FMV's.

    That said, the in between turns stuff can get agonizingly long when its about nations that are on the other side of the map doing random stuff that doesn't matter at all to you.
    ^ Top  
  7. PlanHex Arbiter

    PlanHex
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    Argh, could you not do that thing with the black text any more?
    I have to highlight it every time to appease my dying eyes.
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  8. Andyman Messiah Mr. Ed-ucated

    Andyman Messiah
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    [​IMG]
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  9. Vaarna_Aarne Ask me about anime Patron

    Vaarna_Aarne
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    We totally need avis taken from this as well.
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  10. Hümmelgümpf Arbiter

    Hümmelgümpf
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    What for? All images are static and you can find music on YouTube.
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  11. Panthera Scholar

    Panthera
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    Maybe he means avatars?
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  12. Serious_Business Magister

    Serious_Business
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    [​IMG]
    sup faggots

    Gahahaha.
    Here's hoping to a magical adventure.
    ^ Top  
  13. ghostdog Prestigious Gentleman Arcane Patron

    ghostdog
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  14. GarfunkeL Racism Expert

    GarfunkeL
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    Insert clever insult here
    Is that really the dialogue from the game? If it is, :shock:
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  15. Brother None Prestigious Gentleman On the line for InXile

    Brother None
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    Yeah...feel free to go ahead and skip the rest of the "dialogue" in this game, Hümmelgümpf.
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  16. deuxhero Prophet

    deuxhero
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    I'm guessing that the guy wearing plate armor (Rance?) is a foreigner? The "vacation" line and the fact that he has western armor in a game where everyone else is wearing eastern clothing makes me belive he is, but I want to make sure.

    Does Ran have pants on? I can't tell with the text box.
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  17. ChristofferC Liturgist

    ChristofferC
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    The dialogue alone makes me want to play this game.
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  18. poocolator Arbiter

    poocolator
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    The dialogue is nightmarish. Think 13 year-olds hanging out on Battle.net, and you'll have the gist of things.
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  19. Syraxis Novice

    Syraxis
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    [​IMG]
    :lol: It's like I'm in middle school all over again.
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  20. Hümmelgümpf Arbiter

    Hümmelgümpf
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    Not even a single line of dialogue will be skipped. I'm not doing a half-assed LP.
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  21. Vaarna_Aarne Ask me about anime Patron

    Vaarna_Aarne
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    Gahahaha!
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  22. poocolator Arbiter

    poocolator
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    fucking :hardcore: :salute:
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  23. oscar Tacticular Staff

    oscar
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    My kind of hero. Is he meant to be European? Would make him even more win. RPG's do need more anti-hero's (and by that Game Devs need to realise not emo fags or 90's brooding rebels).
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  24. Haba Harbinger of Decline Patron

    Haba
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    Durrr. The game goes over the top purposefully. It would stop being funny real fast if Rance didn’t act like a horny 13 year old. Rance has sex with 300 women in the course of the game, and not all of them are consensual... Serrrious dialogue would take this game from being funny to disgusting real soon.

    For example, you got to love that one scene, where the peasants are praising their foreign liberator and one of them is thinking “but he raped my daughter” *sob*.
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  25. Hümmelgümpf Arbiter

    Hümmelgümpf
    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2007
    Messages:
    2,949
    Location:
    St. Petersburg, Russia
    What Haba said. Sengoku Rance is the Devil May Cry of hentai games, presentation-wise.
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