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EU4: Demise of Western Civilization or how I learned to love the machete
- Thread starter Corporate_Jew_Master
- Start date
Corporate_Jew_Master
Arcane
RAPE GANG REIGN
The enrichers head for Egypt and the Legions are out to intercept them.
So far so good as the hordes are slaughtered and sent back to their spawning grounds.
A road of dead kebabs all the way to the Sinai. 2 Legions are already positioned in the Nile Delta but it would be suicidal to throw them against the numberless Almoravid rape mobs. More men will be required.
It will be hard to shift those resources though as the Levant is literally flooded with ITZ. 130.000 kebabs in Antioch, 60.000 south of it, 130.000 in Jerusalem and a further 140.000 arriving in Damascus, bringing the grand total to 460.000 kebabs, nearly half a million.
Everyone could sense it. The Prophecies of Cleve Mark Blakemore had come full circle. ITZ coming.
The situation was desperate. 20.000 brave patriots were making a stand against a 100.000 kebabs in Damascus while 3 Legions were attempting to break through Jerusalem to come to their aid.
The coasts of the Levant were on fire as the Legions were fighting large kebab forces in Sidon and to the north and the outcome was still uncertain as numberless ITZlamists were already in the vicinity, unengaged. Probably raping.
The brave patriots of the 7th Legion sold their lives dearly and never surrendered, dying to a man and selling their lives dearly.
It was here that the war would be decided. Surrounded by more hordes, attacked by vast mobs of kebabs and fighting to the last, the Imperium would either triumph or suffer it's greatest defeat yet.
ITZ spread to the seas as the Imperial Navy, undefeated for centuries, suffered it's first reversal by a large combined armada of Kebabs and Krauts. The need to upgrade their armaments was clear.
It was time to rescue thosemen in Tarabulus.
The cowards also fled. Could ITZ be halted after all?
The combined might of the Legions fell upon the vastest kebab horde yet seen as Antioch was once again thrown in turmoil.
It was an inconclusive battle, the hordes retreating in good order and the legions suffering a good deal of losses.
Peace would eventually be signed but it was nothing more than a truce. The Kebab-Kraut Axis would not disband.
And even though the Krauts would be shattered by inner conflicts, the Almoravids would regain their holdings in France and grow stronger.
While the Rumite kebabs would penetrate into India, seizing the rich cities and particularly Delhi. Kebabs, Wyrmlords and Andhairas would swell their armies to unimaginable levels.
War would be declared again, the kebabs deploying over 2 million men between them to the measly 300.000 grand total that the empire could muster.
Egypt would be the sole theater of this war as the hordes would concentrate their, machete raping Copts and Egyptians alike.
The battle was murderous as kebab reinforcements kept pouring in without stop or end, swelling their horde to proportions never seen before.
A catastrophic defeat was the result and, despite even more massive losses on the part of the kebabs, they were nothing to them as they had a vast pool of recruits to make good their casualties.
As a result, the Empire was forced to release Georgia who would, no doubt, soon be re-absorbed into Rum or have russian shells fall on it's streets in the nights ahead.
The loss of life was disastrous as imperial manpower was nearly destroyed overnight. The hordes had swelled to unthinkable levels and were now poised to strike at Wyrmlordia and Yurop, not to mention the imperium itself.
Dark times indeed.
The enrichers head for Egypt and the Legions are out to intercept them.
So far so good as the hordes are slaughtered and sent back to their spawning grounds.
A road of dead kebabs all the way to the Sinai. 2 Legions are already positioned in the Nile Delta but it would be suicidal to throw them against the numberless Almoravid rape mobs. More men will be required.
It will be hard to shift those resources though as the Levant is literally flooded with ITZ. 130.000 kebabs in Antioch, 60.000 south of it, 130.000 in Jerusalem and a further 140.000 arriving in Damascus, bringing the grand total to 460.000 kebabs, nearly half a million.
Everyone could sense it. The Prophecies of Cleve Mark Blakemore had come full circle. ITZ coming.
The situation was desperate. 20.000 brave patriots were making a stand against a 100.000 kebabs in Damascus while 3 Legions were attempting to break through Jerusalem to come to their aid.
The coasts of the Levant were on fire as the Legions were fighting large kebab forces in Sidon and to the north and the outcome was still uncertain as numberless ITZlamists were already in the vicinity, unengaged. Probably raping.
The brave patriots of the 7th Legion sold their lives dearly and never surrendered, dying to a man and selling their lives dearly.
It was here that the war would be decided. Surrounded by more hordes, attacked by vast mobs of kebabs and fighting to the last, the Imperium would either triumph or suffer it's greatest defeat yet.
ITZ spread to the seas as the Imperial Navy, undefeated for centuries, suffered it's first reversal by a large combined armada of Kebabs and Krauts. The need to upgrade their armaments was clear.
It was time to rescue thosemen in Tarabulus.
The cowards also fled. Could ITZ be halted after all?
The combined might of the Legions fell upon the vastest kebab horde yet seen as Antioch was once again thrown in turmoil.
It was an inconclusive battle, the hordes retreating in good order and the legions suffering a good deal of losses.
Peace would eventually be signed but it was nothing more than a truce. The Kebab-Kraut Axis would not disband.
And even though the Krauts would be shattered by inner conflicts, the Almoravids would regain their holdings in France and grow stronger.
While the Rumite kebabs would penetrate into India, seizing the rich cities and particularly Delhi. Kebabs, Wyrmlords and Andhairas would swell their armies to unimaginable levels.
War would be declared again, the kebabs deploying over 2 million men between them to the measly 300.000 grand total that the empire could muster.
Egypt would be the sole theater of this war as the hordes would concentrate their, machete raping Copts and Egyptians alike.
The battle was murderous as kebab reinforcements kept pouring in without stop or end, swelling their horde to proportions never seen before.
A catastrophic defeat was the result and, despite even more massive losses on the part of the kebabs, they were nothing to them as they had a vast pool of recruits to make good their casualties.
As a result, the Empire was forced to release Georgia who would, no doubt, soon be re-absorbed into Rum or have russian shells fall on it's streets in the nights ahead.
The loss of life was disastrous as imperial manpower was nearly destroyed overnight. The hordes had swelled to unthinkable levels and were now poised to strike at Wyrmlordia and Yurop, not to mention the imperium itself.
Dark times indeed.
Corporate_Jew_Master
Arcane
Update was a bit short but, hey, I just came back. Next one won't take long and will be a lot bigger.
Kashmir Slippers
Magister
MOAR
Corporate_Jew_Master
Arcane
Despite having Georgia taken from our sphere, we shall strive to take it back, peacefully or with ITZ if need be.
Since the hordes are too numerous to combat effectively, our power base has to be expanded. The Holy Roman (lul) Empire is in shambles and krauts and guidos fight for the position of Emprah.
The Guidos will be crushed, their lands taken from them in small, controlled mouthfuls
Thousands die storming the walls of Treviso and the survivors successfully repel a huge popemole force, driving them back to Verona.
A huge kraut-guido army was defeated at Gorz, the legions holding the line in the face of artillery barrages and endless waves of infantry, suffering heavy casualties themselves.
It's a wonder how so many have died in the past years yet the survivors still endure, removing kebabs and race traitors without complaint.
The rich trade centre of Venice and the area around it would be taken. Soon all of Italy would be back in TROO roman hands, the jew-like lombards driven back to their precious
Commisar Draco and Luzur would fight for control of the north, the later also invading Potatoland and making headway into the balkanised HRE. For they may come a time when snowmens sit upon the throne of the Kaiser and pagan norsemen give the Frauleins the viking treatment.
In a stroke of luck, the Frenchmen are giving the Almoravids a beating, probably by blockading the straits and not allowing their armies to reach Iberia from North Africa. The weakening of kebabs is always good news.
To capitalise on it, a new war would be declared on the guidos, this time aided by the Grand Kebab.
The Legions would fortify their positions in Ferrara and invite attack, whilst keeping the garrisons besieged.
A large guido force would attack and try to force them out but the line would hold and deliver massive casualties, throwing them back.
Another sizeable kraut force would be repelled from Verona as well, routing back to their own lands.
The Navy would do it's part and keep the sea lanes clear of kebab pestilence.
With massive kebab hordes approaching, we settled for whatever we could, taking Verona and making headways to the Po Valley.
And now for a small break and a look at the globe
The kebabs have spread across the new world, raping and enslaving the original machete gangs as they go.
While alkeides has been mauling the pig disgusting Han while praising Tengri. Also notice that Rum has seized the Indus and are now ready to begin their rampage across Wyrmlordia.
Now comes a time for deciding whether to colonise or attempt to gain ground in East Asia. Either deny the kebabs a part of the new world or ensure that Rum doesn't get too strong by absorbing India.
Cassidy
Arcane
itt Kwanzania under Islamic Communism is not a joke or a redneck stupid idea about Obongo.
Corporate_Jew_Master
Arcane
Will make for a good DH World War where muslims are doing D-Days.
hostergaard
Educated
- Joined
- Jan 14, 2013
- Messages
- 71
Taking Ming, India or bringing enlightenment to the Japs would certainly help fix the manpower problem I think, but the large established population may prove troublesome to deal compared to colonies, which may provide vast riches in resources. But I have yet to play EU4 so I can't really make any recommendations other than somewhat educated guesses.
Corporate_Jew_Master
Arcane
To put it this way.
Colonies in the New World are usually rich in resources such as sugar, gold, spices, coffee who are generally very valuable. East Asia also has some valuable resouces but the manpower boost would also be welcome. I am converting this to Victoria 2 afterwards so it depends on what you wanna see, byzantine Japan/Indochina/China/India or 1eyedking and TBS speaking in byzantine greek.
Would an invasion of the Aztecs be feasible?
Judging from your bountiful treasury manpower seems to be the greater concern here. In which case reestablishing Bactria could be in order.
I can see the Almoravids becoming a huge pain if they westernise (what is possible due to their connection with France). This might ultimately make them a greater pain than Rum. Are you planning to Westernise?
Judging from your bountiful treasury manpower seems to be the greater concern here. In which case reestablishing Bactria could be in order.
I can see the Almoravids becoming a huge pain if they westernise (what is possible due to their connection with France). This might ultimately make them a greater pain than Rum. Are you planning to Westernise?
Corporate_Jew_Master
Arcane
No Westernisation for me. And yeah, based greece and anatolia are rich as fuck and I own the biggest trade centers barring american ones. But more gold to sustain more troops would always be welcome.
We could go for Aztects, that's a possibility. Incas are also a choice but I don't wanna blob more so it depends.
Luzur
Good Sir
LusciousPear
Savant
What you need is cloning. Or just cheap asian conscripts.
Corporate_Jew_Master
Arcane
Saves were lost because Steam Cloud was being a nigger.
I am also skipping vicky 2.
BUT
I am in the process of making this into a Darkest Hour mod. Almost finished with delegating province ownership to various states and what is now left to do are events, some cosmetic stuff and the extra units I am gonna mod in for some nations, such as Revolutionary Guard for Islamocommunist Kwanzania (which is split into 4 squabling states, 1 of which follows said communism), The Iron Legions for a fascist, revanchist Roman Empire (which lost the levant and Egypt to kebab, but more on that later) and others.
Mod also features a balkanized china with a lot of conflict, a national socialist polish-lithuanian pagan state that seeks to take back a lot of clay from the HRE and Russia both, a librul mega-sweden that has an event chain that leads it to either the far right or far left (or dooms it to subsequent enrichment) the rise of radical islam in Rum as well as Iberia and maybe even a full fledged nigger invasion like the one in Cleve's prophecies. (not sure about that one)
Edit:
Brazil (without the amazon forest in this mod) is the only christian nation in the whole of the Americas and thus the last bastion of the WCDS on that continent. Naturally there will be a true Brazilian Slaughter, something that TBS will surely appreciate.
I am also skipping vicky 2.
BUT
I am in the process of making this into a Darkest Hour mod. Almost finished with delegating province ownership to various states and what is now left to do are events, some cosmetic stuff and the extra units I am gonna mod in for some nations, such as Revolutionary Guard for Islamocommunist Kwanzania (which is split into 4 squabling states, 1 of which follows said communism), The Iron Legions for a fascist, revanchist Roman Empire (which lost the levant and Egypt to kebab, but more on that later) and others.
Mod also features a balkanized china with a lot of conflict, a national socialist polish-lithuanian pagan state that seeks to take back a lot of clay from the HRE and Russia both, a librul mega-sweden that has an event chain that leads it to either the far right or far left (or dooms it to subsequent enrichment) the rise of radical islam in Rum as well as Iberia and maybe even a full fledged nigger invasion like the one in Cleve's prophecies. (not sure about that one)
Edit:
Brazil (without the amazon forest in this mod) is the only christian nation in the whole of the Americas and thus the last bastion of the WCDS on that continent. Naturally there will be a true Brazilian Slaughter, something that TBS will surely appreciate.
Cassidy
Arcane
Corporate_Jew_Master
Arcane
Heads of State, Government and Security are all niggers, of course. Islamic ones.
Commissars Jamal of the ICDS.
Commissars Jamal of the ICDS.
Corporate_Jew_Master
Arcane
After some deliberation and a week of wasted hard work, I decided to port the almost finished Darkest Hour mod to HOI3. Done with the map and some history files today, here is the global view:
To help explain the setup:
1. Yurop
Iberia has most of north africa and, well, iberia, one of the two secular non durka muslim nations. France shares a border with the HRE and the Byzantine Empire, with the former wanting to re-absorb her into the empire. East of the HRE is the potato-hitman commonnwealth, sandwiched between clay hungry krauts and russians.
2. Asia
Green blob is Rum, ITZ survival mode with hordes of sandapes. India is split between Rajastan and the Marathi Confederation and the Tibetan buddhists. China is in the midst of a civil war between the confucianist Ming and the muslim Yuan. Japan is eyeing Britain's poessesions in indochina and southeast asia as well as trying to get as much as she can out of china without provoking russian rape.
3. Africa
Split between france, britain, a fledgling ethiopian empire about to be pounded by rum and the northern islamic states.
4. Northern Kwa
Here it gets interesting. Split between Vinland, ISUK (Islamic Socialist Union of Kwanzania, the red blob, not meant for player characters, will see why in the LP), the green blob is Tajira, the second secular islamic state and the dark grey blob is the Marinid Caliphate. I don't think I need to spoiler as to who gets ass pounded in this corner.
5. Southern Kwa
Split between the decaying Khurusanid Empire (with brazilian revolution soon to break out, more lore on that later) and the Naqsid Sultanate in the south. All of these states are the result of Iberian immigration and subsequent revolution in the new world, with the east coast of southern america having all the deported christian population of Iberia.
History files and OOB will soon be done so that leaves the event chains that lead to war and the rest of the interesting stuff.
However, I need help in making flags, as I've 0 artistic bones in my body, even with popamole drawing software. Anyone who can help is welcome to.
To help explain the setup:
1. Yurop
Iberia has most of north africa and, well, iberia, one of the two secular non durka muslim nations. France shares a border with the HRE and the Byzantine Empire, with the former wanting to re-absorb her into the empire. East of the HRE is the potato-hitman commonnwealth, sandwiched between clay hungry krauts and russians.
2. Asia
Green blob is Rum, ITZ survival mode with hordes of sandapes. India is split between Rajastan and the Marathi Confederation and the Tibetan buddhists. China is in the midst of a civil war between the confucianist Ming and the muslim Yuan. Japan is eyeing Britain's poessesions in indochina and southeast asia as well as trying to get as much as she can out of china without provoking russian rape.
3. Africa
Split between france, britain, a fledgling ethiopian empire about to be pounded by rum and the northern islamic states.
4. Northern Kwa
Here it gets interesting. Split between Vinland, ISUK (Islamic Socialist Union of Kwanzania, the red blob, not meant for player characters, will see why in the LP), the green blob is Tajira, the second secular islamic state and the dark grey blob is the Marinid Caliphate. I don't think I need to spoiler as to who gets ass pounded in this corner.
5. Southern Kwa
Split between the decaying Khurusanid Empire (with brazilian revolution soon to break out, more lore on that later) and the Naqsid Sultanate in the south. All of these states are the result of Iberian immigration and subsequent revolution in the new world, with the east coast of southern america having all the deported christian population of Iberia.
History files and OOB will soon be done so that leaves the event chains that lead to war and the rest of the interesting stuff.
However, I need help in making flags, as I've 0 artistic bones in my body, even with popamole drawing software. Anyone who can help is welcome to.
Corporate_Jew_Master
Arcane
Forgot to add, goal is to have 3 world wars set up with different event chains. Will take some time to implement for all nations, but won't take long for just the LP. Cassidy apparently HOI3 can take big event chains, tried it on a vanilla game with a custom set up.
Luzur will also be happy to know that I've a chain set up for reestablishment of the swedish empire, invasion of norway and denmark and then either the HRE or Russia, depending on how alliances and factions develop.
Luzur will also be happy to know that I've a chain set up for reestablishment of the swedish empire, invasion of norway and denmark and then either the HRE or Russia, depending on how alliances and factions develop.
Luzur
Good Sir
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