Completed EU3 Magna Mundi: Serbia Strong REMOVE KEBAB

[Cassidy]

Because Holy War of Expansion(the casus belli I used against Albania, and obviously also available against worst turk) gives only 25% of the infamy* grabbing provinces in a no cb war would bring(that is 1 infamy per province and only 2 for annexation), besides the very relevant detail that declaring war without a casus belli hurts the stability. While at early game when Serbia had just a handful of provinces doing so was not much of an issue, now, as shown by the last image of the previous update, it is a much bigger problem.

*Which means I could take a lot of clay back from the worst turk without reaching the infamy limit.

Conquering territories without direct land borders with a country that has no navy can end very badly, as in rebels making you lose everything. And much of northern Italy, which is the only part of Italy worth conquering because many of its provinces have universities, is part of the Holy Roman Empire.

Finally, as you'll see by the end of this update, sometimes situations will demand risks to be taken.

As for catholic convertion, this is what this other peacetime update will be about...

and for a change, rebels.

===========

Remove catholic

Serbia once think that zoo animal religion irrelevant but now truth is zoo need be Orthodox too. Fuk the croatioa they always give trouble and die and die again and again futile struggle of their shit countrey against the grett. Now Orthodoxy or death!

SERBIA MISSIONARY STRONG!!!

Serbia will sponsor all who strive to kill turk farm animal and their religion of war, of rape and pig shit fuk.

Grett man pass away. Vinko Obilic infiltrate worst kraut courageously and cause much harm to krauts, never forget.

Time to send missionaries to purge these croatioa abnd guido scum.

TURK GENOCIDE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE. FUK ALL TURKS THIS NOT ENOUGH

REMOVE KEBAB FROM THE PREMISES

Ppoor Poland reduced to vassal of Prussia and carved by Moldorvia, Russia, Silesia and Prussia worst kraut. Never forget.

Lesson that Serbia must trust no one all filthy scum ready to backstab, Russia and krauts in particular.

From oppress of goatfuckers against Georgian Orthodox grett opportunity to remove shitslam from every corner of Albania. Even Georgians are better than worst turk. All Orthodox welcome the more the better for it means less cetnik and mongols.

Your pope won't save you, I repeat:

GOD IS ORTHODOX

Grett the removal of popemole continues successful soon they will all be just a minority in croatioa, and then time to remove them and televangelist from other places of this grettest countrey.

They won't go down without a fight good if they want to fight to death for their false pope it means we not need to hunt them down like turk farm animal or bother try convert.

Yet ultimately far more important than removing catholic is to purge kebab from Albania, every of them. No mercy they are the sworn enemies of Serbia scum that must be crushed like a skul of pig. I spit in the eye of your childfuking prophet and flag of your shithole.

Haha worst kraut hypocrite started war to try "purging heresy" from Pskov now they are losing

CATHOLIC IS HERESY! *BLAM*

KEBAB IS EXTRA HERETICAL! EXTERMINATUS KEBAB FROM THE PREMISES!!!! *BLAAAAAAM*

SUFFER NOT THE TRAITOR, THE KEBAB AND THE POPEMOLE

I hope this will help Serbia you stupid ideas how I suppose to know if you not even mention the goal of dissidents? Is this treason. I'll have some heads if it this is!

Maybe the Piasts at Silesia may restore a bit of Poland now they are independent. They are surely crushing krauts with glory.

These turks better thank their pig-eating shit they don't have border with Serbia else we'd crush all of them from Tripoli to Morocco like skuls of pigs and exterminate the savage subhuman animals inhabit their countreys!

REMOVE BERBER FROM THE PREMISES

Grett! Now the worst turk is a minority in Albania of no significance. Still not enough but Serbia need either a really good Orthodox Theologian or a really good admnistration king to remove even the filings of kebab from Albania.

What? This... this is not something any worthy Serbian brings back. You should fight to deth against worst turk rather than return in shame!

Haha! We crushed them like skuls of pig on the bottom of the ocean! Some of our brave sailors took serious loss but still victroy!

AND THIS WILL NOT STAND! FUK YOU ALL KEBAB YOU'LL SEE WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF YOU DONT STOP ENCROACHING OUR CLAY!

The Berbers tremble in fear to the STRONG of Serbia!

Finally some real advance enough of shitty archbus now Srbija soldier armed with much better musket to remove kebab. Let the garrisons handle defense our offensive infatry will charge together with Hussars to crush the turks one by one!

Learn your lesson, berber pig?

Things were going more or less well, but in one day the king began a boisterous speech more or less like:

SERBIA STRONG!!!!!! WE WILL CRUSH THE ENTIRE WORLD AND THE STARS AND EVERYTHING AND ALL OF ALL AND THE TURK OF COURSE LIKE SUCH A SKUL THAT THE ASHES OF THE SKUL OF PIG WILL LOOK IN BETTER SHAPE THAN WHAT IS LEFT OF THEM ONCE WE ARE DONE AND WE WILL CRUSH EVEN POPEMOLE AND HOLE ROMAN EMPRAHIRIE AND ALL WORLSD WILL FEAR US MORE THAN THE WORST MONGOL AND RESPECT SERBIA WE RULE SERBIA GRETTST COUNTREY

It was obvious the constant rebel popamole touch king's mind in a bad way and he no longer able to get his best. Fortunate of this tragic event his appoint of advisor grettly improve the stability of the countrey.

Serbia needs no navy Serbia needs STRONG Army why you mad? Want to suck kebab? Return to croatioa.

And then... while the king was not of his best shape in sanity something would happen that would finally put to test all Serbia achieve all these years and the ultimate objective:

All Serbia allies have join forces for the goal Serbia dream of for all these years. There could be no better time.

The enemy is numberful their legions mighty but we are the Serbia we are STRONG!

Even Wallachia finally break chains and proclaim independence against worst turk, it is obvious now what must be done, therefore:

serbia+russia+hungary+transylvania+wallachia+moldorvia=kill ottoman emprahirie... you will ww2

THE TIME HAS COME TO:

REMOVE KEBAB FROM THE PREMISES

 

[Kashmir Slippers]

Good luck!

It is time for Serbia's finest hour. Forward to victroy!

or Russia white peace-ing out of the war five months in and you getting swamped by the endless popamole hordes.

 

[Gondolin]

Chaaaaaaaaarge for eternal glory!

 

[Storyfag]

REMOVE KEBAB FROM EUROPE PREMISES!

 

[Cassidy]

ubik is one of the worst game designers ever... and a drama qwinn too, as shown by recent events. RETURN TO YOUR PRECIOUS HISTORY CHANELL

The cheats to morale, discipline etc the Ottomans get are both nonsensical, retarded and ridiculous and the only reason it's usual to see them getting all the way up to Potatoland in this shitty mod. It's obvious they get huge retarded cheats to combat considering the previous outcome of my battles against Austrians who are technologically even to the Ottomans. Seriously, 1k losses and 15 casualties to turks per day with a numerically superior army at even dice rolls and with a Shock 5 general? THIS IS BULLSHIT!

Is "bending to turk" the right way to play this piece of shit? This mod has been almost always more frustrating than fun and the ridiculous buffs only the turks get are the icing on the cake of shit.

I'm strongly considering to remove this ridiculous ubikebab cheat from the premises of the code. This is way too retarded. Magna Mundi as a whole is more shit than good, more frustration for the sake of it than real challenge, more herpaderp HISTORY larpfaggotry and forced railroad than anything, and playing near the Ottomans put you to face what is by far the stupidest design decision of the entire mod IMO, so stupid it alone is enough for me to slash 5 points of rating were I to write a review of this crap.

Because as it is, any war against turks is unwinnable unless you're playing with fucking France thanks to those ridiculous cheats. And dumb AI allies no matter how massive their armies won't help much here.

To remove ubikebab or not remove ubikebab cheatshit?

-ubiqwinn

 

[Gondolin]

Remove cheatshit, then remove kebab from premises.

 

[newcomer]

REMOVE UBIKEBAB FROM PREMISES!

I don't even play EU3, let alone MM, so what's this cheatshit? Sounds terrible though from your description, just like purposely giving unlimited resource benefit to AI just because they can't think

And will removing this cheatshit destroy your save?

 

[Luzur]

GO SERBIA GO *Inspector Gadget theme*

 

[Norfleet]

I can't see any logical reason why the Ottomans should have any special bonus that others would not potentially have. They're not space aliens. Any factors should be tied to things like cultural options and technolergy, not space alien bonus. You're fighting the Turks, not the Klingons.

 

[ironyuri]

ubik is one of the worst game designers ever... and a drama qwinn too, as shown by recent events. RETURN TO YOUR PRECIOUS HISTORY CHANELL

The cheats to morale, discipline etc the Ottomans get are both nonsensical, retarded and ridiculous and the only reason it's usual to see them getting all the way up to Potatoland in this shitty mod. It's obvious they get huge retarded cheats to combat considering the previous outcome of my battles against Austrians who are technologically even to the Ottomans. Seriously, 1k losses and 15 casualties to turks per day with a numerically superior army at even dice rolls and with a Shock 5 general? THIS IS BULLSHIT!

Is "bending to turk" the right way to play this piece of shit? This mod has been almost always more frustrating than fun and the ridiculous buffs only the turks get are the icing on the cake of shit.

I'm strongly considering to remove this ridiculous ubikebab cheat from the premises of the code. This is way too retarded. Magna Mundi as a whole is more shit than good, more frustration for the sake of it than real challenge, more herpaderp HISTORY larpfaggotry and forced railroad than anything, and playing near the Ottomans put you to face what is by far the stupidest design decision of the entire mod IMO, so stupid it alone is enough for me to slash 5 points of rating were I to write a review of this crap.

Because as it is, any war against turks is unwinnable unless you're playing with fucking France thanks to those ridiculous cheats. And dumb AI allies no matter how massive their armies won't help much here.

To remove ubikebab or not remove ubikebab cheatshit?

-ubiqwinn

Furious Flaming Faggot remade the Byzantine Empire with the Knights of Malta, problem Cassidy?

 

[pocahaunted]

Remove UBIKEBAB from premises. Let's call it divine intervention, God is orthodox after all.

 

[Norfleet]

But if you do, tell us what exactly the Worst Turk bonus was.

 

[Storyfag]

Remove cheating from the premises!

 

[Kashmir Slippers]

Take the bonus away. It is garbage.

I think this is the bonus that Cassidy is talking about

Spoiler

Manifest_Destiny_Turk1 = {
trigger = {
tag = TUR
ai = yes
OR = {
has_country_flag = great_power
has_country_flag = major_power
}

NOT = { num_of_cities = 60 }

}

global_tax_modifier = +0.1
war_exhaustion = -0.05
cavalry_cost = -0.25
infantry_cost = -0.25
land_morale = +0.75
discipline = +0.20
stability_cost_modifier = -0.25
land_forcelimit_modifier = +0.25
global_manpower_modifier = +0.10
naval_forcelimit_modifier = +0.25
galley_cost = -0.25

It lets them field much larger, cheaper armies that do 20% more damage in combat and have significantly higher moral so that they won't hardly ever rout. They also get boosted taxes, significantly reduced stability, and reduced WE. It makes winning a war against them almost impossible unless you are twice as large as them.

 

[Vaarna_Aarne]

ubik is one of the worst game designers ever... and a drama qwinn too, as shown by recent events. RETURN TO YOUR PRECIOUS HISTORY CHANELL

The cheats to morale, discipline etc the Ottomans get are both nonsensical, retarded and ridiculous and the only reason it's usual to see them getting all the way up to Potatoland in this shitty mod. It's obvious they get huge retarded cheats to combat considering the previous outcome of my battles against Austrians who are technologically even to the Ottomans. Seriously, 1k losses and 15 casualties to turks per day with a numerically superior army at even dice rolls and with a Shock 5 general? THIS IS BULLSHIT!

Is "bending to turk" the right way to play this piece of shit? This mod has been almost always more frustrating than fun and the ridiculous buffs only the turks get are the icing on the cake of shit.

I'm strongly considering to remove this ridiculous ubikebab cheat from the premises of the code. This is way too retarded. Magna Mundi as a whole is more shit than good, more frustration for the sake of it than real challenge, more herpaderp HISTORY larpfaggotry and forced railroad than anything, and playing near the Ottomans put you to face what is by far the stupidest design decision of the entire mod IMO, so stupid it alone is enough for me to slash 5 points of rating were I to write a review of this crap.

Because as it is, any war against turks is unwinnable unless you're playing with fucking France thanks to those ridiculous cheats. And dumb AI allies no matter how massive their armies won't help much here.

To remove ubikebab or not remove ubikebab cheatshit?

-ubiqwinn

Furious Flaming Faggot remade the Byzantine Empire with the Knights of Malta, problem Cassidy?

FFF also knew how to abuse the living hell out of the naval combat system, which was the key to what he did. And of course, Knights have an equalizer in that they get E'sprit d'Corps as a STARTING IDEA.

 

[Cassidy]

This is what ironyuri wants to see. And I think it's part of the LP spirit to play the mod or game as it was meant to, no matter how unfair, then collapse into defeat.

And as if the cheats weren't bad enough the Ottoman units are much superior as well to Serbia. Janissaries have 2 fire 4 shock while the shitty offensive musketeers have 3 fire 1 shock and their cavarly got 5 shock while light hussars got only 2, and this not counting the superior morale of their units that sums to the cheats.

The morale bonus is killer. It can lead 16k strong armies to be routed in total derp. Who thought such was a good idea?

I reached a point in the game where I have little room for expansion, and the little I'd do wouldn't allow me to outnumber kebab anyway. FFF conquered tons of other kebabs first because he was obviously aware of this cheat, and the Knights may be small but they got a navy, while Serbia has no navy, no border with other turks, shittier Eastern Tech infantry etc they are pretty fucked in a war with OE even if they could field an army as large as theirs, and even if they manage to defeat one stack the turks have so much such stack will never retreat to an unoccupied province where it could be routed, which would still be unlikely due to the derpy cheats. I reached a point of no hope, and thus it shall be. I don't want to post a hundred of updates about moving sliders, conquering easy targets like hungary and avoiding Ottomans, nor I'd like to change the nails to the balls experience that is waging war against the OE therefore:

Let us come to the end, I was getting tired of this. This is my first and last MMU LP involving any country bordering the Ottoman Empire.

ubikebab is a really big lover of kebab, there is only one fate for Srbija



It is fun playing with a doomed country when the combat mechanics are good, complex and not randomness based, like in Hearts of Iron 2 as Poland, but this is not the case here.

=======================

serbia st........DOOMED

Serbia need army academy too every step counts.

Fuk you kebab lovers and traitors burn in hell

Boyars, boyars never change.

Serbia can victroy this time!

LET THEM STARVE THEN CRUSH LIKE SKUL OF PIG

Even krauts support Serbia now.

Wait and once they starve enough crush them like skul of pig!

Hold at all costs! We will prevail! Wait until the battle begins to authorize sortie.

This battle will be very important, if we manage crush them all this will grettly diminish kebab power.

May God help us all! The Djinn are supporting the kebab! Their morale and discipline bolstered by Djinns how else would the STRONG of Serbia Military Drills and Engineer Corps not equate to it? Sqhipere, Sqhipere. The Djinn will burn as all of you!

HAHA RUN COWARD! SERBIA STRONG WE WILL HUNT YOU DOWN UNTIL YOU ALL PERISH!

We must gather every man, the odds of Djinn cheater and liar and thieves are against us!

A costly victroy, but still victroy! If we were to rout all those kebab forces this would turn the tide of war.

FORWARD!

Cowards...

Damn it another dozen thousand of kebab where they are retreating to? Fuk worst turk fuk the djinn only way farm animal win battles.

Wait they are marching for Moldorvia maybe possible victroy here.

The Djinn are everywhere it's obvious now...

Our countrey is...

VICTROUS!

Damn their legions are heading on us. All plans ruined everything has failed. We must fall back, they are too much and the Russians are too dumb and incopetent.

For every two thousand turk farm animals we kill, ten thousand more, like vermin, rise. This is hopeless... fuk the Djinn!

An entire unit had to disband to not be crush by turks... everything is going down. But this battle could be another victroy if Hungary helps.

Serbia........................................................................................................................ weak

Fuking Magyar retreated and left much of Serbian forces unprepared after their retreat, it is over now.

More than half of our army crushed. Why? Why must the Djinn exist and cheat reality for worst turk?

Their aid comes too late. There is no more hope. The Glorious Serbians have decided. They will not watch their countrey falling appart.

Yet ultimately, they could not challenge the Djinn. Every victroy was only a glimmer of light amid darkness of kebab. Every conquest of Serbia past would be made insignificant by the power of the Djinn.

And so it ended, the entire Serbian Army wiped out and even Russia suffering defeat after defeat thanks to their utter incompetence and stupid.

The details of what would happen after are redundant. Serbia would slowly be divided and conquer by the power of the Djinn of Inanity and ubikebab Andhaira, until there was nothing left. The past glories, the victroys against Venice, Austria and many others, all for naught. Serbia was, like Poland, wiped from the map, their people oppress without mercy, their hopes crushed like a skul of pig, and forced conversions where many preferred to die than to worship the shit pig kebab. Ultimately, in this despair, in this tragic loss, a few embarked on a great diaspora, reaching as far as the new world.... but Serbia was lost forever. With the power of the Djinn, slowly the Ottomans conquered the entire continent as they thank forever the reason of their victroy: the Djinn ubikebab Andhaira.

THE END

------------------------------

I know it was quite anticlimatic, and I didn't go to the end because it's obvious how it would end at this point. But what would be the difference? Continuing this LP would be a protacted defeat and inevitable disaster in the long term even if I stayed neutral in this war(inflation at 42% and rising would ensure an ever-increasing tech gap), removing the cheats would be like LPing Oblivion with mods. This is the very worst of Magna Mundi right on. I hope I spared you of the experience.

 

[Vaarna_Aarne]

I'll re-iterate what I said before about Magna Mundi's quality:

Told ya it was shit.

 

[pocahaunted]

Well, then, I need a replacement for this.

 

[Fafnir]

Endure. In enduring, grow strong.

 

[newcomer]

I see...
Quite surprised that an army of 30k did not managed to even eliminate 1k of the enemy's 8k stack

P.S. While the worst turks eliminated your 7k army with 20k stack

 

[TripJack]

bravo cassidy, bravo

 

[ironyuri]

good thing paradox removed ubik from presmises, anyway, Cassidy, this was a great LP to follow, though it didn't reach the heights of FFF's performances. I'd actually have been totally cool with you removing Ubik from premises, because FFF definitely modded MMU himself to make changes where necessary.

At the moment, the last MMU game I played was Venice and beating the Turk is nigh impossible. You just have to hold them out of Corfu and Naxos and hope for the best. Some of the AI cheats in MMU are bullshit, like Castille and France. England, if played by me, for example falls to pieces and you can't even conquer Ireland, but the AI has colonies within 50 years of the Spanish. The balance in the mod is totally fucked, but I actually enjoy playing it a whole lot, compared to Vaarne who just wants to aspie.

 

[Gondolin]

Never forget the Srbijan bros!

 

[Merkwürdigliebe]

Looks like Kebab removed Serbia in the end. In any case I enjoyed watching you suffer, well played sir.

 

[Vaarna_Aarne]

good thing paradox removed ubik from presmises, anyway, Cassidy, this was a great LP to follow, though it didn't reach the heights of FFF's performances. I'd actually have been totally cool with you removing Ubik from premises, because FFF definitely modded MMU himself to make changes where necessary.

At the moment, the last MMU game I played was Venice and beating the Turk is nigh impossible. You just have to hold them out of Corfu and Naxos and hope for the best. Some of the AI cheats in MMU are bullshit, like Castille and France. England, if played by me, for example falls to pieces and you can't even conquer Ireland, but the AI has colonies within 50 years of the Spanish. The balance in the mod is totally fucked, but I actually enjoy playing it a whole lot, compared to Vaarne who just wants to aspie.

Well, I helped FFF make some modifications for the Andhaira LP, like the special Holy War CB version "Andhaira is love!"