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disk failure

Educated
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Skies over Byzantium blacken as Duke Mehmed's armada thunders by

WAR!

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Shortly after Prince Chadwick's triumphant fleet, carrying 5 unidentified cargo pods, returned from Aragon, Duke Mehmed the Magnificent of House al-Malik joined the Holy Crusade and as of February 5th A.D. 4961 HTT (Holy Terra Time) House al-Malik and the Hazat are in a state of war.

Although previously advocating peaceful resolutions to internal Imperial matters, Duke Mehmed had a change of heart when abundant evidence verifying the Hazat are developing weapons of mass destruction began to surface. The evidence also suggest that the Hazat have every intention of using these devastating weapons against other great Houses in the future and it corroborates that they have already used their research on Symbiot psychology to incite Symbiot attacks on Shaprut and Istakhr.

In his public address Duke Mehmed went even further:

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...

We'we lost friends. We've lost relatives. We've lost those we've held most dear. There isn't a person amongst us who hasn't suffered a loss by the hands of those infernal abominations.
To now learn, that the Hazat possesed and used this perverted knowledge to control and to cohort with the enemy of our entire civilization, in a most dispicable and cowardly manner, requires - demands - our most harshest and uncompromising response!


[The crowd roars]
Long live Duke Mehmed! Long live the al-Malik!


Still... Still, above all, we are a noble and peaceful people, and I am a peaceful man, and I have nothing against the Hazat people, who are not just innocent bystanders but they are also victims caught in the corrupt whirlwind of a few demented individuals who reign over them.

Hawkwood troops have seen the terrors that suffocate the streets of Castle Furias, they've gaged over inhuman displays of Hazat savagery - a cruelty that so palpably permeates from every building, every nailed window, every deserted playground, every tree and rock on Aragon!
The Hazat people are a starving people. Their women get raped in their own homes. Their children walk naked and abandoned. Their access to free media is limited. These people deseve our pity, but these people also need our help - our help to dispose of a regime that has a deep hatred for everything our civilization stands for!

So to all Hazat citizens, soliders and serfs I say - do not fear! Do not fear, because we are coming! We are coming to feed you! We are coming to protect you! We are coming to bring justice against those that have brutalized you so relentlessly over the years! Do not burn your oil wells! Do not destroy your mines! Do not sabotage your industry, because this is the wealth that belongs to the Hazat people and when the day of reckoning comes, your own people will judge you - and they will show you no mercy.
So join us! Join us in our quest to rid the universe of these depraved madmen! Join us, and together we will bring prosperity to all Hazat people and to all the peoples of the Known Worlds!

Death to the abominations! Death to all the sinners!

We shouldn't fool ourselves, however. Hazat despots will not go down lightly. They will come at us here on Istakhr, on Shaprut, on Aylon, everywhere and with every spineless instrument at their disposal, so we must be ready! And with your help, my fellow citizens, my brothers and sisters - my children - we can be ready! I will make certain our security agencies have all the authority they need to protect each and every one of us from our monstrous enemies, but they'll need your help!

At this very moment our compatriots on Criticorum are in grave danger from Hazat and Symbiot agents who prey from within! Martial law has been declared and our Mutasih officers are tracking them down one by one, but they still need you! You can help them capture these traitors! You can save all our lives! Our people need you! The whole civilization needs you!


:mob:
 
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4962 AD

Heavenly Father continues to smile upon his loyal Hawkwood servants, blessing Prince Chadwick with two holy artifacts in the course of a single year! Firstly, the pristine Mirror of Forgiveness, which has always been interpreted by Mother Church as a sign of absolution and divine favour, appeared most miraculously on Delphi, as if sent directly into the hands of our ruler by angels of the Lord. The Mirror is an obvious sign that our crusade is indeed holy and just, and that our ruler is ordained directly by the Pancreator to bring justice, truth and order to the Known Worlds!

Secondly, the fabled Lancet of St. Amalthea was unearthed on Ravenna by Duke Arnold Stewart Clauberg Toht, second-cousin of His Highness. This powerful artifact is said to shield its holder and all those pricked by it from all kinds of plague-demons. Further testament to the righteousness of House Hawkwood is the incorrect spelling of the name of Saint Amalthea above. Unlike other realms where susceptibility to sin is truly soaring, Hawkwood literacy levels are kept commendably low and continuously dwindle, protecting the fragile minds of our flocks from the ever-corrupting influence of higher learning.

The battles on Aragon rage on, and Lord Throckmorton Dirlewanger III recently secured a major victory against the vile Hazat horde, conquering several mining districts in the name of Prince Chadwick the Pious. Before long, the entire planet will be firmly within our grasp. Meanwhile, Li Halan and Al Malik forces seem to have taken advantage of our destruction of the Hazat fleet, and now appear to lay siege to Sutek, effectively trapping the last remaining Hazat on Vera Cruz.

In other news, His Highness the Prince has secured a considerable loan from the Reeves Guild, the renowned bankers and lawyers of the Merchant League, reportedly so as to further finance the crusade, support widows and fatherless children and help rejuvenate the chemical and electronics industry on Delphi. Slanderous comments implying that the millions of firebirds are secretly spent on "research" are vicious untruths propagated by heretics and heathens. Remain ever vigilant!
 
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disk failure

Educated
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On Sutek, a detachment of the 13th al-Malik Space Marine Legion just secured one of Hazat's mines. Lance Corporal Ashes runs to inform his Sergeant on a critical new development...

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Sergeant Steel! Sergeant Steel!

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Call me Balls, son! What is it!

Sergeant Balls... ah, puff, pant... The scouts report... pant, puff, oh... The tanks...

Try not to throw up all over my boots, son! I just finished scraping some intestines off of them!

Sergeant, the scouts... the factory... the tanks...

You speak like an idiot, son! Pull it together, come on!

Our intelligence was wrong, Sarge... Scouts report no Kestral tank divisions protecting the factory.

Are you sure about that, son!

Yes, Sarge, positive, here is the latest intel from our scouts.

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By the Pancreator's ass, son, do you know what this means! It's our chance to bushwhack these dicks and take the factory!

But, sir, we were ordered to wait for Lord Revan, his leadership will give us the Battlemaster trait.

And my leadership, Corporal, will give you chest hair! Now, if you're done lamenting over Lord Revan the battlemaster, be useful and get Captain Flashheart in orbit on the horn! Inform him on our situation, and inform him I advise immediate action! And since I know he is an ambitious prick - You writing this down? Well don't say that, son, dont say that! Erase that! You have to learn to sugarcoat my words when talking to these officer assholes, son! Say he is a courageous leader of men!
So, since he is an ambitious prick, I'm confident he will approve of my plan and will immediately deploy his panzer regiments to this mine we have so kindly liberated, so that he may join us and help us capture the factory before Lord Revan makes landfall! And also tell him that since our receiver is down, we can't wai-


There's nothing wrong with our receiver, Sarge.

!

...

*kla-tlack*
RAT-TA-TAT

There's something wrong now!
Where was I!
Since our receiver has been destroyed, we can't wait for orders, so I'm going to use my personal discretion and besiege the factory with my boys! We'll cut them off and keep 'em pinned until he arrives with his armour to make the final push!
Did you get everything, son! Good!

All right ladies, makeup time's over! The Hazat need us to bolster their Manufacturing Price Index, so we're marchin' north! Pick up your shit and get moving!



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A few hours later, Sergeant Steel, with 200 of his men, completely surrounded 50 000 unprepared defenders inside the factory and is now attempting to keep them suppressed, with a little help from a nearby artillery brigade...

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Who are these ninjas manning the guns! They couldn't hit the broadside of a barn at ten paces! Corporal! Tell our artillery support to stop firing while we still have some cover left!

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Artillery commander acknowledges cease-fire and reports successful suppression of the enemy.

A smashing success that is! The squirrels all fled in exodus! Where are my tanks! We can't sit around like this all day! Flashheart should have been here by now!

We saw our haulers dropping from orbit, but it's hard to be sure of what's going on without our long-range dish, Sarge

Don't be a smartass, Ashes! I was just growing to tolerate your presence!

Sarge, Corporal Nasser reports forces from the factory are launching a counter-attack and are attempting to break the siege east of here!

They must have noticed our lines are spread a little thin! How many!

It looks like an entire infantry division, backed up with artillery and some armor.

This is it then! We can't wait for those nancy boys in their tin cans any more! Suit up, men! It's time to earn our paychecks!

What are we going to do?

The only thing we can do, son! We're going to storm the factory!

But there are thousands of them in there!

And that's exactly why we are going to storm the factory! It's the last thing they expect us to do!

But that's suicide, Sarge!

Not unless you shoot yourself, Corporal!
I'm sorry we can't always fight three faggots in high heels! Like in that mine down there! But this is what we get paid for! You're marines! Act like marines! Each of you is worth ten of these sons of bitches! And I'm worth a thousand! So if Corporal Ashes doesn't have any more complaints to lodge, I'd like to get this show started so I can get back to my ship before they close the dining facilities! Again!

Thanks to our suppression activities, there isn't much cover between us and them, so you pansies better run fast! And for the love of god, men, check your shoelaces! There isn't a more disgraceful sight than a Space Marine stumbling accross no-man's land!

All right then ladies! Let's get down to business!

Machine guns 1, 3 and 5, lay down cover fire! The rest of you -

CHAAAAAAAAAARGE!!!


YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!


And so our heroes charged. Cannon to left of them, cannon to right of them, cannon in front of them all exploded as Sergeant Steel threw grenades down their barrels, and when he ran out of grenades, he would jam them with his boots, and then his socks. Unaccustomed to such heroism, Hazat forces took heavy losses and were forced to turn the troops breaking the siege on the eastern front around to try and encircle the handful of Space Marines that were now, against all odds, holding their ground in the outskirts of the city, striking the enemy's flank...

More armor coming up to our rear! - yelled Corporal Ashes frantically.

Barefoot, Sergeant Steel climbed the pile of corpses in front of him to get a better field of view and, before facing his vastly superior foe for one last time, said:

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May the Pancreator curse that deserter Flashheart!

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Sir! These tanks - they're ours! It's Captain Flashheart!

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I bet you are all happy to see me! Move along now, you poor sods, old Flash will take it from here.


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Unwanted

Kalin

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Very minor thing I forgot to mention: Infantry Legions can actually be built, and the confusion earlier stemmed from the fact that they require Xeno-flora in addition to Composite Armour, which was not made clear in the documentation.

Of course, it might be preferable to push for Power Armour and Space Marines, but if you want some extra fodder from your forts it is very much possible to get it, and besides, you do need Composite Armour anyway to train Knights.
 

disk failure

Educated
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Xeno-Flora appears to be the only requirement to build Infantry Legions. From unit.dat:
// Req'd Tech
"Infantry Legion" 13 0 0 0

(the 13th tech is Xeno-Flora)

If anyone wonders what techs are required to build something, or where can a certain unit be built, how much does it cost, what are it's stats and so forth, the DAT folder inside the game's installation directory contains .dat files with all the relevant information. These files are mere text files which can be viewed in notepad (or your favorite text editor)
 
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Kalin

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4963 AD

With House Hawkwood, Li Halan and Al Malik busily stamping out Hazat heresy, the vile Symbiots have seized the opportunity to resume their unholy onslaught on humanity. Massive attacks on the disputed border-world of Stigmata have resulted in a number of disastrous defeats, pushing back the Stigmata Garrison and shattering the decades-long stalemate between Regency forces and the demoniac scourge. Church leaders now call for a united effort to restore the Imperial Government, appoint a competent Garrison Commander and launch a second crusade to throw the warped devils back into whatever hellish dimension they came from.


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Meanwhile, the glorious recovery of the famous Spade of Zebulon completes the holy trinity of divine blessings for Prince Chadwick Athelstan Templeton III, proving yet again his undeniably messianic role in the imminent re-uniting of the Known Worlds. Recovered amongst ancient ruins on Gwynneth, the majestic artifact can reportedly increase productivity everywhere. According to legends of olde, it has played a central part in many confirmed miracles such as turning barren soil into bountiful farmlands, causing rocklands to suddenly burst with glittering gemstones, transforming masses of lazy, swarthy serfs into brilliant industrious übermenschen and blessing infertile womyn to spontaneously give birth to septuplets!

While no immediate benefits have been noted as of yet, scholars are convinced that the artifact merely requires the correct rituals and incantations to unlock its divine power. Others have been less convinced, and in an outburst of exceedingly inappropriate insolence, Lord Dawkins of Ravenna remarked that he would "much rather have seen us recover a Vladimir cruiser, or even a frigate or two, than yet another pointless relic" - impudent blasphemy of the foulest kind, costing him tongue and title both.


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As if there was ever any doubt, Aragon is now for all purposes under Hawkwood control and protection. Following a grand ceremony in the capital, all remaining freemen and surviving nobility pledged allegiance to their liberator Prince Chadwick, acknowledging Hawkwood dominion over the entire system. While some pockets of resistance remain, the cleansing light of orthodoxy shall soon burn away every last stain of heresy and witchcraft, purifying this fortunate world for all eternity.


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The standings of the great houses have shifted with the recent elevation of House Li Halan, who now accumulate knowledge at an astounding rate, presumably due to a combination of covert research, reclamation of Second Republic technology and trade with other houses. Interestingly, a number of Hawkwood trade proposals and inquires into their research program have been flat-out rejected, which naturally begs to question: just what are those sneaky asiatics up to? We have a right to know!

Reclusive and seemingly content to quietly consolidate their position, House Decados are slightly behind the competition in most respects. House Hawkwood still enjoy a lead in terms of military power, but the other houses are clearly catching up. Finally, House Al Malik have the greatest infrastructure and firebird reserves. As for how Duke Mehmed could get so rich in such a short amount of time, one can only speculate. Rumours abound of impious taxation, heretical tithe skimming, staggering pay cuts and replacement of army rations with imitation gruel, though it remains to be seen whether there is any truth to such allegations.
 
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Dayyālu

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4963, KISH

Li-Halan Palace.

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"Duchess? Can I enter now?"
"Yes, Count Elliot of Rampart. You can enter freely."
"The yearly report from our dominion is ready."
(sighs) "Well, the time had to come. Begin, Count."
"First, the situation on the Hazat conflict. Our expeditionary force has suffered horrendous losses on the assault, and many of the primary objectives have been failed.
The frontline commanders are screaming for better air support and planetary bombardment. We do not know when we will advance on Vera Cruz, at the current pace. Luckily, the Hawkwood and the Al-malik are crushing the heretics with utmost efficiency."

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"Second, the military situation in our domains. The assaults against the rebel strongholds on Rampart and Midian have been unmitigated disasters, with losses of hundreds of men. Reports indicate that in some cases rebel militiamen have destroyed grav-tanks barehanded. The foul Warbeasts continue to plague our Labs, causing the loss of thousands of Firebirds every month."

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"Any...Good news?"
"Yes, one of our Nobles has won a duel on Vril-Ya, claiming the Fort here for our house. It was a stunning victory, and he celebrated it with a glorious banquet in his own room, were he is confined until he is capable of eating solid food again. Our medics and the Clergy predict that with a decade of treatment and rehabilitation he will be as good as new."

"The economy is in a worst situation, in any case. Our production is nosediving, and angry peasants are protesting and burning our flags. And entire movement, the so called "Age of Decados" sect, is propagandizing a mass escape towards Decados space. They are sieging the Kish spaceport this very moment."

"What about the Research? Here, we are making good advances, at least?"

"Well, a new project is being pursued by our scientist. They think they can reproduce the most powerful chemical rounds and rifle schematics from the Second Republic. But we will get bankrupt sooner, Milady."

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"And the infiltrators? We got them?"
"Nay. It is believed that in this very moment Hazat, Hawkwood, Al-Malik and Decados spies are hearing this report."

"Count?"
"Yes, Milady?"
"I was not cut for this job. I...I... need a vacation. Did those scientist have any success on the Fading Hearts project?"
"Uhh... we already had this discussion, Mistress. That is not a productive way of using your time..."
 
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Kalin

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"Seems" being the keyword here. The crafty Li Halan know their Sun Tzu, so when they appear weak you can be sure they are as strong as ever. Typical Chinaman stunt, in fact, to stuff one's pockets while cursing the world for its injustice. Fortunately, Prince Chadwick has been blessed with racial immunity to oriential trickery. The victory on Vril-Ya might seem inconsequential, but Hawkwood intelligence reveals that the stockpiled resources in the Hazat fort are worth many thousands of firebirds.

A brave Hawkwood noble attempted a similar feat some years back, but unfortunately lost his life - no doubt because the Hazat opponent cheated during the duel. The extra funds would have come in mighty handy for our illegal research Infantry Legion widows' pension. Still, it is good to see him avenged, of course. Perhaps the Hazat will even end up completely wiped out, if one house or another takes out their cowering noble on Byzantium Secundus.

Oh, and speaking of the Imperial Throne World, the election is finally coming up! Should only be a couple of years now until a Regent can be chosen, assuming, of course, that we do not deadlock the votes.
 

disk failure

Educated
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In the Ducal Palace on Istakhr, Duke Mehmed is spending some quality time with his offsprings...

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Why are you playing in the litter tray, Carl? I really don't understand it. There is so much sand outside for you to play in, but you choose to immerse yourself in cat urine. God, you are such a disappointment. Wasn't your sister supposed to look after you?
Kornelia!
Who are you?
My daughter? Yes, of course you are my dear, of course you are. Now make your father proud, and kindly take your little brother outside to play. It pains me to look at him like this.
And send Ihmed in.


Ah, Ihmed, my son, come in, take a seat. Would you like to have some beverage? Prune juice, perhaps? No? Very well.
I've called you in here today, because I believe you are ready to take some responsibility off of your father's weary shoulders.
When I took the burden of rulership from my unfortunate nephew I had no idea how much derivative soul-crushing menial chores I'd be forced to undertake. Squashing that witches' Hakim's wife rebellion was the easiest thing I had to do. But then - oh then - came the endless meetings, reassignments, executions, order this, order that, sign this, sign that, it robbed all the joy from my heart, son.

But it needed to be done. Somebody needed to weed out the stale, rotting complacency that plagued our house for so many generations. Don't get me wrong, I like a good feast every now and then, just as much as any commoner, but here we stand, surrounded from all sides by wolves, and what do we do? We build more farms.
Pick any floating rock in space, son, and chances are you'll find a bunch of lazy al-Malik peasants living on a farm there. That was the mundane reality I had to face... I'm ashamed to tell you how much Firebirds we spent on vineyard expansion alone. If it weren't for a few codpiece assembly lines on Shaprut, we might as well be living in caves.

I've gone through a lot of trouble to make something out of what we have. I did my best to properly motivate my subjects to raise our production across the board. Because we need that production son, even if it's some fancy wine from Rampart instead of an assault rifle. If there's one thing us al-Maliks are good at it's peddling wares. That wine from Rampart along with the grain from Shaprut, and the oil from Criticorum and Aylon, and the trace from Istakhr is what makes us, today, one of the richest noble Houses in the Known Worlds.
Why just the other day, while I was reading that slanderous publication, the Criticorum Gazette, I chanced upon an article about Prince Chadwick of the Hawkwoods and how he went into debt over a few labs and a dozen electronic components. Apparently, all the militia he accumulated over the years started to weigh heavily on his budget, and they wouldn't allow him to raise another mortgage on his palace, so now he can't even pass water without an outcast League loanshark surfacing from the privy. He even orders his relatives to their deaths just to keep up with the monthly installments. On the other hand, I have this report from the Mutasih on how the Li Halan Duchess now resorts to piracy to finance her research into flintlocks.
You see, son, thanks to me, we don't have these problems. Still, being rich can be a tedious job, that someone has to do, and it looks like it's going to be you. I've already given command over our fleet to your brother Ahmed and, considering your martial talents leave much to be desired, I've decided to entrust you with this crucial aspect of our House's success.

And since I'm such a great exemplar of fathership, I'm going to teach you some of the practical wisdoms I've learned over the years, dealing with all sorts of scum, from lazy peasants and incompetent governors to thieving League Captains and Agora traders. Because, in the end my son, it's not really the fancy technology that wins wars, it's a healthy economy!
 

disk failure

Educated
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***DUKE MEHMED'S GUIDE TO A MERCANTILE SAVVY HOUSE LEADER***

Taxes won't get you far. A single city will net you around a 100 FB per year. Provided you own the Palace on the planet the city is built on, otherwise it doesn't pay taxes. However, if that same city produces 70 tonnes of food per year, that's around 700 FB if you can sell it. This obviously means that in order to augment your revenue you have to sell your excess resources. At the begining, that usually entails selling food, energy and trace.

Guideline number 1:
Sell before you build. Especially if you're building something that will suck up a lot of resources you are keen on selling, like engineers. Why? Because you can't be sure where the resources required for the build will be taken from.

Here's an example. Say you have a farm that managed to accumulate 150 units of food that would be pretty easy to sell, since the Agora is just a few hexes away. Instead of selling the food, however, you choose to first build an engineer in some city. If you build the engineer before you sell the food, there is a chance the build will take the required 100 units of food from that farm. Suddenly, you only have 50 units of food available for an easy sell. Many governors gave me their heads because of this.


Guideline number 2:
Always try to sell resources which are heavily used (like food) in the same turn you move them from their source. In other words, don't haul your food around the map for 3 turns to sell it. It's a good bet most of it, if not all, will dissapear before you reach the Agora.
Builds you initiate could easily consume the resource while you are moving it, but also never underestimate how stupid sinful masses can be. In ther gluttony, they're prepared to swim a hundered miles out to sea to devour something they would eat anyway only in a more orderly manner.
Also if you think keeping the resources in orbit on a freighter will somehow keep it from being consumed, it won't. I tried. You can't even trust your captains to keep their ships free of vermin.

Apparently, we run a House filled with jokers and the lengths they're prepared to go to screw you over are unbelievable.


Guideline number 3:
So you can't move your cargo pods around too much, which is a bitch, especially if your major resource production facilities are too far away from an Agora for any practical transport. In this case, if you have any freighters or haulers in the system, use them to transport the cargo to a city near the Agora. If your own freighters are not up to the task, don't shy away from hiring Charioteer assistence! The cheapest Charioteer freighter will cost you around 30 tonnes of food to upkeep. With clever selling it will easily pay itself off, and turn a healthy profit afterwards.


Guideline number 4:
Universal Warehouse allows for this little workaround that you can (ab)use, but it's only useful when you have a building near an Agora that can produce a unit that requires ENOUGH resources for construction that you want to sell. Early in the game, the only such unit would be an engineer (and you would usually want to sell food like this).
Say you want to sell a couple of hundred units of food that's not conveniently placed near an Agora, and you don't want to dick around with the freighters, or you can't, because the food is located on a planet far away. What you do is you build an engineer in a building near an Agora, and then you cancel the build by building nothing. The food and metal spent on buliding the engineer will now be returned to you and, with a touch of ungodly witchcraft, will be placed in the building you initiated the construction. Since this building is near an Agora, it is now simple to take 100 tonnes of food and sell it. The problem here is that you have to repeat this procedure for every 100 units of food (when building an engineer).
More generally: build something -> build nothing -> sell resources. If you try to only repeat this part: build something -> build nothing, in hopes of piling up a large enough stack of resources that you can sell all at once, forget it, because the same resources will be recycled in each subsequent build, until you get rid of them, so with small amounts of resources this method is very tedious.

A note from disk failure:
Duke Mehemed neglected to mention that I refrain from following this guideline, because the whole thing has this exploity aura around it. I guess one could argue that this is as much of an exploit (or a feature) as is the Universal Warehouse, and for that matter I agree - real men probably shouldn't use the Universal Warehouse (unless the game is too bugged when not using it). However, since there are no rules condemning this (maybe we should implement some?), and since you could always build something and then change your mind afterwards, I felt it needed to be noted as a possibility. Nevertheless, I believe the method with the frieghters is efficient enough, so there really isn't any need for this. Besides, it's only useful for selling food with engineers anyway, and even then it can get pretty tedious to navigate the UI.
I guess it can also be used to quickly move more precious resources out of harm's way, but to a lesser extent.


Guideline number 5:
Beware when dealing with those eccentric motherfuckers in the League. The price of the same resource fluctuates and sometimes this can mean a 50% increase in profits.
From what I can tell it seems to be a function of how much surplus you produce and how much reserves you have, and maybe how much you sell. In any case I still haven't completely figured out the logic behind this. It does appear that the more you sell of a particular resource to the League, the more expensive it will get (somewhat counter-intuitive, it makes me wonder what kind of simpletons run that organization). So to keep the prices high, you have to sell frequently, and in large enough amounts.


A disclamer from disk failure
Even though I'm fairly confident that with these tips you should have a relatively stable economy, your mileage may vary. When I picked the traits for my house, I purposely sacrificed the initial scientific advances in favor of more permanent economic benefits, so I may have all the posh bonuses, like 95% loyalty/production and better prices when buying/selling, which probably makes this whole process far more efficient for me than it will be for you. Still, I don't bother to much with it. I have a few "resource hotspots" I try to re-visit every turn or so. Sometimes I forget, sometimes I'm to lazy to be thorough, but even with a half-assed effort I can still service my coffers rather effectively.
 

disk failure

Educated
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All right, since JagreenLern turned out to be such a Grand Dick, I vote we cut him loose and start looking for replacements/new players. In the time we spent waiting for that griefer to dignify us with a reply, let alone play his turn, we could have started a new game and could have possibly even caught up with our present progress.
 

disk failure

Educated
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Ah, well, isn't that nice? There is just one little problem now Jagreen. Apparently, you've mistaken us for your personal AI bitches that you can load anytime you deem fit.

You weren't at your computer for the last few days, huh? Well, you seem to have been logging on to this forum from somewhere. Granted, you could have used your iPhone, iPad, or some other i-shit, but at the very least you could have dropped us a note, especially since it's not really the last few days we're talking about here. We begged and pleaded with you for the better part of the month, but the only response we ever seem to get from you is how sorry you are for dicking with us. One only needs to read your posts on this very thread to catch a glimpse into this repeating tune of yours.

I really don't know why you signed up for this, Jagreen. I really don't know what sort of repressed itch signing up for every multiplayer game on this forum scratches for you and I don't care. All I know is that I wanted to have some fun with this majestic game, but forcing you into playing your turn every single time is not my idea of fun, so fuck you Jagreen. I'm through eating your crap.

Forgive me for this Kalin and Dayyalu, both of you are good sports and it was a pleasure sharing toys with you, but everything has it's limits.
 
Unwanted

Kalin

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Dumbfuck Zionist Agent
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That is unfortunate.

Anyone want to step in for House Al Malik? I just played my turn, so a new player could start right away.
 

disk failure

Educated
Joined
Dec 23, 2013
Messages
41
Also to facilitate the transition of power, my successor can feel free to contact me and I'll bring him up to speed with all the nuances and scheming thus far.
 
Unwanted

Kalin

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Well chaps, it seems this ill-fated undertaking has run its course. It was fun while it lasted, and if we get a fresh batch of dedicated players we might be able to start over a third time.

For now though, this game is officially dead and buried.
 
Unwanted

Kalin

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:necro:

And now, officially reanimated!

Time to prove that the third time is the charm! Dayyālu and I are up for a new attempt at this great game, and Vertab Nukks (the great chap who made the excellent Emperor Wars mod we have been playing!) is willing to join in as well. Local brofist champion anus_pounder gets dibs on playing if he wants in, since he expressed a sound and healthy interest several months ago. If he is on board, this should leave one seat open.

Turn-speed should definitely be quite fast, I think we should aim for at least one full turn per day. Serious business, no slackers allowed!

Rules and in-game settings are definitely not set in stone, so if you want something changed, by all means let us know. Like before, houses go to whomever picks them first.
 

anus_pounder

Arcane
Joined
Mar 20, 2010
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5,972
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I'll have to say 'neigh!'. Going back home in a couple of days and no telling how dull, routine and internet-less my life will be for the next few weeks. Will try to read and brofist updates whenever I can though. :salute:
 
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Vertab Nukks

Educated
Joined
Jun 20, 2014
Messages
54
We have a thread for Emperor Wars 1.4 on steam and their was some recent request to play I will post to link to this thread over there as well.

We missed a great opportunity five people on steam just started a EFS new game a few days ago, but some may be willing to come join ours.
 
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Vertab Nukks

Educated
Joined
Jun 20, 2014
Messages
54
I am willing to play any house but Li Halan, I played it last time and would like a new perspective. Maybe the Al-Malik or Hawkwoods for me this time.
 

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