Decline EA Rapes Dungeon Keeper

Brotherman Bill · Feb 4, 2014

Darth Roxor said:
Storyfag said:

I'm not saying there isn't a difference, I'm saying DK is not dark and brooding. Blood type for creatures is a joke. Not in the slightest. Even fuckin' tooltips contain jokes from time to time. Of course DK2's humour is less, ah, subtle. It is more overt, more primitive, a harbinger of the Decline. But that does not make DK dark and brooding.

Click to expand...

Fuck you, invading Snuggledell and murdering all the cutesy cuddly rabbit-worshipping folk is the most dark and brooding thing in the history of gaming!

Did you remember to turn on the sound while playing? And what about the monitor?

I mean if you ignore the music, sound effects and graphics one could manage to not notice the dark atmosphere of DK, but otherwise...

Oh and arguing it wasn't dark because it mixed black humor into some tooltips and the mission descriptors is completely inane. Might as well argue DA was a mature game because d0rf origin had a good story or something, you're just taking a minimal part completely out of context.

Misconnected · Feb 5, 2014

Corsola said:
Applicable for DK2 sure. But for the original? I guess you've never played it.

I'm tempted to gift you a copy from GOG so you can see how completely ridiculous you're being :D

Space Satan · Feb 5, 2014

DK1 had nice torture animations - DK2 replaced that neat part with boring turning wheels. Yet DK2 tried to adress a lot of issues - separating mana from gold was a good thing. Removing invulnerable walls also had positive effect on the gameplay.

knightley · Feb 5, 2014

Yeah saw it too. Hehe, EA just loves to sit in the driver sit of a never stopping rape train.

DakaSha · Feb 5, 2014

CSM said:
Hey guys, did anyone post the DUNGEON KEEPER RAP™ music video already?

This, this is the face of a dying industry.

...

Azrael the cat · Feb 5, 2014

I think it depends a lot on what age you were when you played DK1. It's like the original XCom, in that it goes for a very deadpan spoof, and when you're in that early-teenage mindset it's easy to view it as 'srs bizness'.

Zboj Lamignat · Feb 5, 2014

I think people get this light-hearted DK2 feel mostly from the toilet humour aftermission cinematics and the shitty lsd disco 3d graphics (which unfortunately all DK wannabes seem to try to copy 1:1). DK1 humour was way more subtle and way better.

When you look at what the graphics actually tried to portray (and which is clearly visible in, for example, creature concepts or previously mentioned cinematics, but also the creature selection itself) it becomes clear which part struggled more for the realistic, graphic and mature.

Misconnected · Feb 5, 2014

Uhm... LSD disco 3d graphics? Are you talking about the various critter possession effects?

Regardless, both DKs were light-hearted, from the opening cinematic of the first game, to the trailer for the never-to-be third.

Azrael the cat said:
I think it depends a lot on what age you were when you played DK1. It's like the original XCom, in that it goes for a very deadpan spoof, and when you're in that early-teenage mindset it's easy to view it as 'srs bizness'.

Could be, I suppose. Might be a language issue also, I guess. Incidentally thanks for reminding me what an old fart I am :p

Zboj Lamignat · Feb 5, 2014

You can treat the "LSD disco" comment literally if you wish, just notice what happens when someone scores a jackpot in the casino.

Storyfag · Feb 5, 2014

herpoderpus said:
Darth Roxor said:

Storyfag said:

I'm not saying there isn't a difference, I'm saying DK is not dark and brooding. Blood type for creatures is a joke. Not in the slightest. Even fuckin' tooltips contain jokes from time to time. Of course DK2's humour is less, ah, subtle. It is more overt, more primitive, a harbinger of the Decline. But that does not make DK dark and brooding.

Click to expand...

Fuck you, invading Snuggledell and murdering all the cutesy cuddly rabbit-worshipping folk is the most dark and brooding thing in the history of gaming!

Click to expand...

Did you remember to turn on the sound while playing? And what about the monitor?

I mean if you ignore the music, sound effects and graphics one could manage to not notice the dark atmosphere of DK, but otherwise...

Oh and arguing it wasn't dark because it mixed black humor into some tooltips and the mission descriptors is completely inane. Might as well argue DA was a mature game because d0rf origin had a good story or something, you're just taking a minimal part completely out of context.

Verb
brood (third-person singular simple present broods, present participle brooding, simple past and past participle brooded)

(transitive) To keep an egg warm to make it hatch.
In some species of birds, both the mother and father brood the eggs.
(transitive) To protect.
Under the rock was a midshipman fish, brooding a mass of eggs.
(intransitive) To dwell upon moodily and at length.
He sat brooding about the upcoming battle, fearing the outcome.

Azrael the cat said:
I think it depends a lot on what age you were when you played DK1. It's like the original XCom, in that it goes for a very deadpan spoof, and when you're in that early-teenage mindset it's easy to view it as 'srs bizness'.

Kind of. But I first played DK as a very young teenager, and wouldn't consider it srs bizness. It's just not possible, with the wacky torture animations, the mood indicators, the bile deamons...

Astral Rag · Feb 5, 2014

"This game would have been wretched whatever it was called but by defiling an existing game like this – especially one fans have been waiting for so long to be renewed – just makes EA’s contempt for their audience all the more obvious. In fact it’s not just the gamers they seem to despise it’s the very concept of video games themselves.

We were going to refer to Dungeon Keeper as a non-game, but that’s not really accurate. It’s an anti-game. It is purposefully designed not to require thought, skill, or experimentation. Instead it rewards only money and, begrudgingly, patience. If video games had been a part of George Orwell’s Nineteen Eighty-Four this would be the only one allowed.

But our complaints and warnings mean nothing. We can’t change publishers’ minds, only you can. Games like Dungeon Keeper are in danger of destroying the games industry and if you think that’s an exaggeration just consider how likely it now is that Dungeon Keeper will get a real sequel or reboot

In Short: Dungeon Keeper is not a video game, not any more. Instead it’s just a virtual beggar, constantly demanding your spare change and offering nothing in return.

Pros: Older smartphones aren’t compatible.

Cons: A sickening perversion of the whole concept of video games, with nothing in the way of gameplay just constant cajoling for you to bribe your way to victory.

Score: 0/10"

http://metro.co.uk/2014/02/04/dungeon-keeper-review-microtransaction-hell-4289901/

:thumbsup:

Space Satan · Feb 5, 2014

John Walker ‏@botherer Fascinating displays of Stockholm syndrome from app review sites used to gounging in their reviews of Dungeon Keeper: http://bit.ly/N1qWxD

ERYFKRAD · Feb 5, 2014

And John Walker is calling them out on it. Not sure if irony.

DraQ · Feb 5, 2014

You know what?
Generation R will have some seriously fucked up childhood and teen years memories.

Reboot.

Angthoron · Feb 5, 2014

DraQ said:
You know what?
Generation R will have some seriously fucked up childhood and teen years memories.

Reboot.

Hey, it's like the good old times. Kids used to get toys and clothes of their older siblings, now it's the same, but with ideas. What's old is new again!

Creamy Muffin · Feb 5, 2014

Misconnected said:
Corsola said:

Applicable for DK2 sure. But for the original? I guess you've never played it.

Click to expand...

I'm tempted to gift you a copy from GOG so you can see how completely ridiculous you're being :D

Astral Rag · Feb 5, 2014

http://www.metacritic.com/game/ios/dungeon-keeper/user-reviews

The extremely negative user response is heartwarming...maybe there is still some hope left for mankind.

:love:

DraQ · Feb 5, 2014

Astral Rag said:
"This game would have been wretched whatever it was called but by defiling an existing game like this – especially one fans have been waiting for so long to be renewed – just makes EA’s contempt for their audience all the more obvious. In fact it’s not just the gamers they seem to despise it’s the very concept of video games themselves.

We were going to refer to Dungeon Keeper as a non-game, but that’s not really accurate. It’s an anti-game. It is purposefully designed not to require thought, skill, or experimentation. Instead it rewards only money and, begrudgingly, patience. If video games had been a part of George Orwell’s Nineteen Eighty-Four this would be the only one allowed.

But our complaints and warnings mean nothing. We can’t change publishers’ minds, only you can. Games like Dungeon Keeper are in danger of destroying the games industry and if you think that’s an exaggeration just consider how likely it now is that Dungeon Keeper will get a real sequel or reboot

In Short: Dungeon Keeper is not a video game, not any more. Instead it’s just a virtual beggar, constantly demanding your spare change and offering nothing in return.

Pros: Older smartphones aren’t compatible.

Cons: A sickening perversion of the whole concept of video games, with nothing in the way of gameplay just constant cajoling for you to bribe your way to victory.

Score: 0/10"

http://metro.co.uk/2014/02/04/dungeon-keeper-review-microtransaction-hell-4289901/

Astral Rag said:
http://www.metacritic.com/game/ios/dungeon-keeper/user-reviews

The extremely negative user response is heartwarming...maybe there is still some hope left for mankind.

, EA.

.

uaciaut · Feb 5, 2014

Astral Rag said:
http://www.metacritic.com/game/ios/dungeon-keeper/user-reviews

The extremely negative user response is heartwarming...maybe there is still some hope left for mankind.