Corporate_Jew_Master
Arcane
Inquisitor is Czech-made RPG that can be easily purchased from GOG.com
The gameplay is nothing fantastic at the early levels, since it's all about spamming the same basic offensive spell/hitting heretics and gobos with barbells. Later on, with the addition of companions, more spells and other stuff it gets more interesting (or so I've been told) but the cream of the game is the plot and dialog. You aren't some pussy-ass elf adventurer sent out to destroy the brown people and their darksultan lord, but a motherfucking purger of heresy. You torture the living shit out of people to get them to confess or just to get a kick out of it, hunt demons, demon summoners and their children, burn witches at the stake etc etc.
To sum it up you are Solomon Kane with spells instead of boomsticks.
And on that note, our adventure begins
BURN HERETICS
We choosechaplain priest as our starting class, for a proper inquisitorial playthrough. Thief is too much of a pussy for my liking and although I like paladin the best, cleansing and purging is far more important than killing. Thus priest.
Our priest also happens to be a nefarious jew who dabbled in zionist magic. Will he manage to find redemption or will the promise of gold and power lead him astray?
He is a very smart jew, able to trick the goy and also very fast, to escape when the situation gets hairy.
He is sent by the Archjewbishop to a town called Hillbrandt, to investigate rumours of witchcraft and heresy.
Did I also mention that it's the turn of the millenium and the gates of hell are opening? Yeah.
We haven't even arrived and this goy wants us to weed out his cabbages for him. Fine.
We don't even know any offensive spells yet, but we have 3 talismans of great power that allow us to burn, freeze and zap our enemies from afar. Problem is these talismans have certain charges and once they are out of juice we have to spent our jewgold to buy more of them.
Thus we shall need to learn offensive spells.
Anyway, the bat is zapped and we gain some phat loot near a pile of lumber.
More bats are zapped then clubbed to death with our trusty stick.
More phat loot is gained. Potions of Stamina are really imporant in this game, since exhaustion doesn't only fuck up your speed but also your hit chance and spell penetration.
The Eternal Jew grows stronger. Or rather, smarter and more wise in the ways of Yahweh. Wisdom helps a lot with spell chance, especially once you reach level 10. For the first 4 levels we will struggle with fucking up our spells and wasting a lot of mana and time in the process.
We find more phat loot and a hidden jew cache left near a pile of stones. We promptly loot it. Anything not nailed down is ours and anything that can be pried away is not nailed down.
The goy at the gate is very happy with the bat removal and lets us pass when we inform him that the premises is safe. Of course, no clay is safe with heretics dwelling in it so we have a lot of work to do.He also informs us that this shithole of a town would not exist if rich deposits of iron ore were not discovered in the vicinity. Lately, orc tribes came down from the mountains to take Hillbradt's clay, so that's another problem we'll have to deal with.
The moment we enter the town another goy guard rushes towards us, crying tears of butthurt about one of his fellow soldiers. Apparently the suspected deserter was courting some capitalist's daughter and the man cracked down hard on the prole. This might be interesting to look into.
With Kebab-removing Serbogreek version of Jesus painted in the church the game already looks better. The chief inquisitor has doubts about the town.
Aside from the mandatory ITZ COMING rant the destruction of several villages by orcs is interesting. Not because it's unnatural for orcs to fight, burn and rape, like some other people I will not name, but because they are supposed to be in the northern mountains duking it out among themselves. The orc invasion might be a sign of ITZ, but it's too early to know yet.
He also informs us that the priesthood and the warrior-monks are at odds with each other, probably coveting each other's jewgold. Nothing weird here.
And the Knight-Commander is a suspected ArchTraitor, Double-Kebab and worst farm animal. This sounds a bit far-fetched and the witnesses will have to be questioned again and again to see if their claims have any grain of truth in them.
Now at the inn, we start talking with the inkeeper.
Asking about the suspicion of heresy on the part of the Knight-Commander, he claims he knows nothing.
The death of the merchant however happened inside his inn and he was the one that discovered the body.
How horrible. Only a feminist could do something like that. Time to start dragging women to the dungeons.
The assistant inquisitor also doesn't know jack. Two witnesses, a guard and a woman saw the Knight-Commander opening the town-gates to the orc raiders and he leaves it at that. Goddamn, these people are incompetent.
We had out to look for the deserter, since both witnesses are adamant that the Knight-Commander opened the town gates to the orcs that kidnapped the bishop and the baron's wife. The wife's sister is somewhat reluctant however, claiming the Arrias would never do such a thing and that her sister is a feminist whore.
And here he is, the faggot.
Guess the landsknecht was a bro and not a rapist. The guard seems strong enough to pummel our jew body to dust. We shall have to handle with goy otherwise.
And this is our chance. We shall condemn him to a life of servitude to this woman and force him to become a wage-slave to support her and her offspring.
The goy is no fool. He flees for his soul and freedom.
And so we save the damsel and take her back to her father, who shall in turn reward us with his hard-earned jewgold. A goy routed and neo-shekels gained, 'tis a very good day indeed.
The gameplay is nothing fantastic at the early levels, since it's all about spamming the same basic offensive spell/hitting heretics and gobos with barbells. Later on, with the addition of companions, more spells and other stuff it gets more interesting (or so I've been told) but the cream of the game is the plot and dialog. You aren't some pussy-ass elf adventurer sent out to destroy the brown people and their dark
To sum it up you are Solomon Kane with spells instead of boomsticks.
And on that note, our adventure begins
BURN HERETICS
We choose
Our priest also happens to be a nefarious jew who dabbled in zionist magic. Will he manage to find redemption or will the promise of gold and power lead him astray?
He is a very smart jew, able to trick the goy and also very fast, to escape when the situation gets hairy.
He is sent by the Arch
Did I also mention that it's the turn of the millenium and the gates of hell are opening? Yeah.
We haven't even arrived and this goy wants us to weed out his cabbages for him. Fine.
We don't even know any offensive spells yet, but we have 3 talismans of great power that allow us to burn, freeze and zap our enemies from afar. Problem is these talismans have certain charges and once they are out of juice we have to spent our jewgold to buy more of them.
Thus we shall need to learn offensive spells.
Anyway, the bat is zapped and we gain some phat loot near a pile of lumber.
More bats are zapped then clubbed to death with our trusty stick.
More phat loot is gained. Potions of Stamina are really imporant in this game, since exhaustion doesn't only fuck up your speed but also your hit chance and spell penetration.
The Eternal Jew grows stronger. Or rather, smarter and more wise in the ways of Yahweh. Wisdom helps a lot with spell chance, especially once you reach level 10. For the first 4 levels we will struggle with fucking up our spells and wasting a lot of mana and time in the process.
We find more phat loot and a hidden jew cache left near a pile of stones. We promptly loot it. Anything not nailed down is ours and anything that can be pried away is not nailed down.
The goy at the gate is very happy with the bat removal and lets us pass when we inform him that the premises is safe. Of course, no clay is safe with heretics dwelling in it so we have a lot of work to do.He also informs us that this shithole of a town would not exist if rich deposits of iron ore were not discovered in the vicinity. Lately, orc tribes came down from the mountains to take Hillbradt's clay, so that's another problem we'll have to deal with.
The moment we enter the town another goy guard rushes towards us, crying tears of butthurt about one of his fellow soldiers. Apparently the suspected deserter was courting some capitalist's daughter and the man cracked down hard on the prole. This might be interesting to look into.
With Kebab-removing Serbogreek version of Jesus painted in the church the game already looks better. The chief inquisitor has doubts about the town.
Aside from the mandatory ITZ COMING rant the destruction of several villages by orcs is interesting. Not because it's unnatural for orcs to fight, burn and rape, like some other people I will not name, but because they are supposed to be in the northern mountains duking it out among themselves. The orc invasion might be a sign of ITZ, but it's too early to know yet.
He also informs us that the priesthood and the warrior-monks are at odds with each other, probably coveting each other's jewgold. Nothing weird here.
And the Knight-Commander is a suspected ArchTraitor, Double-Kebab and worst farm animal. This sounds a bit far-fetched and the witnesses will have to be questioned again and again to see if their claims have any grain of truth in them.
Now at the inn, we start talking with the inkeeper.
Asking about the suspicion of heresy on the part of the Knight-Commander, he claims he knows nothing.
The death of the merchant however happened inside his inn and he was the one that discovered the body.
How horrible. Only a feminist could do something like that. Time to start dragging women to the dungeons.
The assistant inquisitor also doesn't know jack. Two witnesses, a guard and a woman saw the Knight-Commander opening the town-gates to the orc raiders and he leaves it at that. Goddamn, these people are incompetent.
We had out to look for the deserter, since both witnesses are adamant that the Knight-Commander opened the town gates to the orcs that kidnapped the bishop and the baron's wife. The wife's sister is somewhat reluctant however, claiming the Arrias would never do such a thing and that her sister is a feminist whore.
And here he is, the faggot.
Guess the landsknecht was a bro and not a rapist. The guard seems strong enough to pummel our jew body to dust. We shall have to handle with goy otherwise.
And this is our chance. We shall condemn him to a life of servitude to this woman and force him to become a wage-slave to support her and her offspring.
The goy is no fool. He flees for his soul and freedom.
And so we save the damsel and take her back to her father, who shall in turn reward us with his hard-earned jewgold. A goy routed and neo-shekels gained, 'tis a very good day indeed.
Carry on, good 
