NSFW Best Thread Ever [No SJW-related posts allowed]

[Clockwork Knight]

even mentioning overrated shit like skyrim compared to this is offensive. Skyrim is a fgucking tech demo with combat. gameplay and story tacked on at the end. It is a generic pile of shit whereas Fallout3 is an utter masterpeice. And it looks much much better when modded.

found a better one

One of the best games I ever played. It had massive flaws but clearly a game where the whole is bigger than it's parts. Didn't get on with NV though. I found that story massively dull and focussed to much on army tents instead of weird shit like The Republic of Dave and the Treeman.

Harold is now 'the Treeman".

 

[RK47]

Fuck, you gotta remind me of Harold.
Poor guy, I ended up just nuking him.

 

[Suicidal]

I've never even played Fallout 3. I guess I should feel ashamed to never have tried this masterpiece in PC gaming and a cult classic for the ages.

 

[Oesophagus]

I've never even played Fallout 3. I guess I should feel ashamed to never have tried this masterpiece in PC gaming and a cult classic for the ages.

 

[Tehdagah]

(...) To not include female characters from the outset, and then to implement them in a way that's not only unrealistic but sexualised because a male-dominated audience wanted it that way, is a mistake. But it's not too late for Crytek to do something about it before Warface hits Xbox 360 in early 2014.

So they should ignore their target-audience?

And the "unrealistic" argument is even funnier since feminists don't care about realism.

 

[Awor Szurkrarz]

I notice they're careful say it was the "male-dominated" audience who wanted it and not specifically saying males. I'm kinda reminded of the fuss over the skimpy female Guild Wars 2 outfits that turned out to have been designed and pushed through to release by women.

I heard the same from the lead of Broken Hourglass. He ordered realistic armour for all characters and fashion whores came crying to him that the armour is "boring" and "unfeminine".
For fucks sake, it's protective clothing and its supposed to be fucking utilitarian in design.
It's not like male soldiers look like they look because they woke up one night and said:
Hey, I want to be ugly!

#killallwomen

Welcome to the 21st century, where if you depict women with feminine traits you're sexist. The true, mature way to depict a female in media is always to make a manly dyke. That is how women look like IRL. Attractive women do not exist. Anything else and its just "trying to sell the game to horny teenagers". Shit, we should use this argument reversed too. Gears of War main characters are overly manly just to get more sales from horny teenager girls! huehuehuehuehuehueh

Err... The context here is is a game about guns, armour and excessive muscle, not a fashion show.

The SJW butthurt is pathetic as always, but to be fair, that boob window on the female Sniper's uniform is pretty fucking stupid.

I don't think it's really a question of SJWfags. It's more a question of realismfags vs. fashionfags.

I hear that many if not all public bathrooms in Sweden are unisex, meaning that they could have just proposed an exchange between urinols for bathroom stalls. A better quality of life for all those involved, though at a certain waste of water, but apparently they couldn't let go of the behavourial change part of the deal. After all, there indeed seems to be a larger political agenda in all of this.

I avoid urinals because they don't allow using toilet paper wipe off any stubborn drops of piss from the tip of the penis.
Anyway, they seem to be concerned about hygiene. But then what is so hygienic about increasing the amount of people who need to sit on toilet? Also, why not invest in self-cleaning toilets?

 

[Tehdagah]

The context here is is a game about guns, armour, excessive muscle and hot women.

Fixed

 

[dunno lah]

Can't wait to see what other games of the generation they name

Anyway:

gamer-who-bit-neighbours-penis-like-a-sandwich-in-xbox-row-jailed-for-seven-years

Wow...reminds me of this:

 

[Dexter]

 

[Infinitron]

Too stupid to comment on.

 

[felipepepe]

Cute, now make one on how consoles completely destroyed PCs in the 2000s.

 

[Hornawkawk]

But it's true, games nowadays are usually released on X360, PS3 and PC. In the era of PS2 and the original Xbox, it was a very rare event.

 

[Infinitron]

It's false, because the most iconic console games of our time were almost all made by former PC developers who moved to multiplatform development. Console-exclusive franchises moving to PC didn't do squat for PC gaming.

That article is actually an inversion of history.

 

[Dexter]

But it's true, games nowadays are usually released on X360, PS3 and PC. In the era of PS2 and the original Xbox, it was a very rare event.

See: http://www.rpgcodex.net/forums/inde...-xbox-one-revealed.80070/page-95#post-2713854
It's actually the other way around, Microsoft headbutted into the console market and bought off/turned PC developers or PC titles (like for instance the first Halo) to be console only, as well as propagating the "PC Gaming is dead" nonsense for over half a decade because they wanted to kill the PC as a gaming device to bolster their new Xbawks console business.

In the process they also mostly destroyed "console gaming" too that was unique on the early PlayStations and whatnot, only Nintendo still remains from most of the old guard and most Multiplatform games are some sort of abominable mix between what used to be PC games and "mass market appeal" of consoles.

If anything you should be blaming these assholes for what they have turned both PC and console gaming into, not thanking them. They tried to kill it for almost a decade and in the process helped turn large parts of it into shit, now that there is a renaissance with Digital Distribution, Indies and KickStarters they're trying to rewrite history as if people should be thankful for what was done, claiming that what were inherently PC games and genres (like for instance the shooter market or Open World games) were "console games ported to the PC".
For that matter, coming next generation there really isn't any appreciable difference between a PC and "consoles" other than the type of OS they use and the openness of the platform.

 

[Gerrard]

Kotaku. Kotaku never changes.

Now if only it went up in nuclear fire and took everyone who writes there with it.

 

[Awor Szurkrarz]

Fixed

They don't belong to the battlefield, though. Maybe they could be rewards or quest givers or romance interests or something like that.

Or prey...

 

[Cowboy Moment]

for the first time in its life, the platform had a standardized control pad.

I can't even think of a witty oneliner for this, the sheer ridiculousness is too overwhelming.

 

[Hornawkawk]

See: http://www.rpgcodex.net/forums/inde...-xbox-one-revealed.80070/page-95#post-2713854
It's actually the other way around, Microsoft headbutted into the console market and bought off/turned PC developers or PC titles (like for instance the first Halo) to be console only, as well as propagating the "PC Gaming is dead" nonsense for over half a decade because they wanted to kill the PC as a gaming device to bolster their new Xbawks console business.

[...]

If anything you should be blaming these assholes for what they have turned both PC and console gaming into, not thanking them. They tried to kill it for almost a decade and in the process helped turn large parts of it into shit, now that there is a renaissance with Digital Distribution, Indies and KickStarters they're trying to rewrite history as if people should be thankful for what was done, claiming that what were inherently PC games and genres (like for instance the shooter market or Open World games) were "console games ported to the PC".

Never heard about that, interesting.

for the first time in its life, the platform had a standardized control pad.

I can't even think of a witty oneliner for this, the sheer ridiculousness is too overwhelming.

Xbox 360 controller became a de facto standard, it's true. Most games that can be played with a gamepad are automatically configured to use it. Before that we only had lots of different dualshock knockoffs.

 

[Infinitron]

Just for fun, let's look at the top ten best selling games of 2012 in the US: http://www.gamesradar.com/10-best-selling-us-games-2012/

1. Call of Duty: Black Ops 2 (360, PS3, PC, Wii U)
2. Madden NFL 13 (360, PS3, Wii, Vita, Wii U)
3. Halo 4 (360)
4. Assassin's Creed III (360, PS3, PC, Wii U)
5. Just Dance 4 (360, PS3, Wii, Wii U)
6. NBA 2K13 (360, PS3, Wii, PC, Wii U, PSP)
7. Borderlands 2 (360, PS3, PC)
8. Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 (360, PS3, Wii, PC)
9. Lego Batman 2: DC Super Heroes (360, PS3, Wii, PC, 3DS, DS, Vita)
10. FIFA Soccer 13 (360, PS3, Wii, Wii U, Vita, 3DS, PSP)

First Call of Duty was a PC exclusive.

Madden has been around forever and the first one was actually a PC game. However, in its modern form it has generally always been multiplatform, although it's actually moved away from PC in recent years.

Halo was famously an XBox exclusive, but was once a Mac game(!): http://www.kotaku.com.au/2011/04/when-halo-was-on-the-mac-and-was-a-totally-different-game/

AssCreed is a relatively young series, having started in 2007. First game was a console exclusive launch and came out on PC later, as Ubisoft often does due to their piracy hysteria.

Just Dance is a Wii game. Console exclusive series.

NBA 2K is a console franchise that started releasing PC versions in recent years. This is the only game on the list that really agrees with the narrative of the Kotaku article.

Borderlands is a new franchise that has always been multiplatform. However, Gearbox was for many years a PC exclusive developer, with their first game being the Half Life expansion pack.

I have no idea WTF Lego Batman is.

FIFA has pretty much always been multiplatform.

 

[Cowboy Moment]

for the first time in its life, the platform had a standardized control pad.

I can't even think of a witty oneliner for this, the sheer ridiculousness is too overwhelming.

Xbox 360 controller became a de facto standard, it's true. Most games that can be played with a gamepad are automatically configured to use it. Before that we only had lots of different dualshock knockoffs.

The platform had standardized control devices since the very beginning, they're called keyboards and mice, you may have heard about them. Only thing the Xbox360 Pad did is let people play console ports on the PC with the control scheme they were designed for, instead of half-assed KBM support, without the need to fuck around with custom drivers and settings.

 

[bot]

(...)

Shitaku... Where satire goes to die.

 

[evdk]

JI have no idea WTF Lego Batman is.

And this is why you fail.

Sam Ecorners should educate you.

 

[Hornawkawk]

for the first time in its life, the platform had a standardized control pad.

I can't even think of a witty oneliner for this, the sheer ridiculousness is too overwhelming.

Xbox 360 controller became a de facto standard, it's true. Most games that can be played with a gamepad are automatically configured to use it. Before that we only had lots of different dualshock knockoffs.

The platform had standardized control devices since the very beginning, they're called keyboards and mice, you may have heard about them. Only thing the Xbox360 Pad did is let people play console ports on the PC with the control scheme they were designed for, instead of half-assed KBM support, without the need to fuck around with custom drivers and settings.

How is that a bad thing? It's also obvious from the context of the article they're talking about gamepads. And keyboards and mice are hardly standardized, there are dozens of variations with different resolutions/numbers of buttons/mechanisms/function keys etc.

 

[dnf]

Isn't this the other way around? Console games got tainted by PC shit.

 

[Hornawkawk]