NSFW Best Thread Ever [No SJW-related posts allowed]

[Xor]

Mike Laidlaw is quickly becoming a bigger source than fucking Todd Howard.

 

[sgc_meltdown]

Mike Laidlaw is quickly becoming a bigger source than fucking Todd Howard.

Maybe they can marry each other.

 

[Clockwork Knight]

http://social.bioware.com/forum/Dragon-Age-II/Dragon-Age-II-General-Discussion/The-Chicks-are-Chicksthank-u-Bio-6162306-1.html

Yeah, women chopping darkspawns to bits using huge two-handed swords shouldn't be butch.

Bottem Line....A very sexy, realistic but deadly presentation of the DA female species...very nicely done Bio...

I love how the female posters reply to that.

The running is a little odd to me.

Agreed. Walking looks great. Running looks incredibly awkward. I'd dislocate my shoulders if I tried moving like that.

Shoulders, nothin'! I'd worry about my hips. But it is still better than in DAO, where women looked like their thighs were chaffed to heck and back.

And this one has the most fitting avatar ever

they run like there arm is broken, do you know any actual women dude. and isebella's tatys are way to big but watever its a game im not in it to check out girls thats what partys are for.

 

[Monocause]

And this one has the most fitting avatar ever

they run like there arm is broken, do you know any actual women dude. and isebella's tatys are way to big but watever its a game im not in it to check out girls thats what partys are for.

:D :D

 

[sgc_meltdown]

http://social.bioware.com/forums/viewto ... /5792749/8

Also, it is very brave and foolhardy of you to actually bother turning up in the community like this.

Every so often someone sends me a PM thanking me for taking the time or makes note of something I've said in another post that helps the overall clarity. Absolutely makes it worthwhile.

In general, I take anything hostile as more of a general frustration/malaise that's being directed at me simply because I have a face and a name. And becuase Epler and Hanlon are adorable, and thus immune.

To generalize (again), the two main complaints I see about DA II are either "we don't know enough!" or "This isn't the game I was hoping you would make!" As to the first, we will continue to rectify that situation, especially in February. As to the latter, while I understand the desire to see a more hardcore, more realistic, more-fiddly-stats experience, that's not the game we are making. We could have. Trust me, my systems guys were more than up to the task, but there comes a point where, in my opinion, some complexity is just there for complexity's sake.

As I've noted before, the general principle behind DA II was to take the Origins experience and achieve three goals:

1) Make combat responsive.

No more shuffling into position or sitting around waiting for your character to follow up after a shield bash.

2) Bring the classes into parity.

In a world where mages can lob balls of exploding fire using only their will, it was dischordant to have warriors and rogues who moved slowly and carefully. We could have absolutely addressed this by changing mages to make them more realistic, but we chose to instead give Warriors and Rogues more personality, since it added more visual flair to the game, and created a stronger identity for each class.

3) Smooth out unnecessarily convoluted mechanics, and create an experience that was less daunting for people new to Dragon Age, or new to RPGs in general.

If there's one thing I firmly believe, it's that there are a LOT more people able and ready to play fantasy RPGs than realize it, and I have always believed that opening a game with a big wall of stats is the wrong way to make a game feel welcoming.

I liken it to the time I sat down with my inlaws to learn how to play bridge. They didn't teach me how to play, or the rules, they started with "how you should evaluate your hand so you can bid." That didn't work for me at all, as it gave me a confusing rule structure with no context. I was supposed to place a bid on how well my hand would do at a game I did not know how to play. That stuck with me, and so one of the things we set out to do was create a more engaging opening; hence the exaggerated portion of Varric's story in which your goals are, quite simply, to kill things.

But like Varric's story, there's more going on than just mauling through darkspawn. Stats are still there. Talent and spell trees are still there. Enchantment? Enchantment! Crafting is no longer about fiddly stacks of elfroot and is more about exploration and discovery. Character progression (talents) is no longer proscribed in terms of order, you have significantly more control over your character's development than you did before. Tactics are still there, and, get this, you don't have to spend points to unlock them; they just do as you gain levels*. Oh, and you'll be hearing more about this shortly, but spell combos have been replaced by a system that's far more robust and includes all three classes.

Overall, I'm very pleased with how DA II has come together. There will always be people who take a demented glee in informing the world that it's horrible, or that it will be, or that the marketing is horrible or any number of complaints, but at the end of the day, I participated in a product I'm proud to have my name on, and that's what, to me, really matters.

 

[Crooked Bee]

 

[grotsnik]

Someone should tell Mike that playing the happy-clappy relativist card to justify the dumbing-down of your game doesn't work while you're also taking passive-aggressive digs at all of the people whose opinions are different from yours for being 'demented'.

A truly fascinating read.

 

[Jools]

These people are taking the concept of "rape" to a new level.

 

[Awor Szurkrarz]

the Origins experience

Using phrases like these is a clear sign of subhuman nature of the speaker.

 

[Black]

.

You know, from all things in this pic (bioware, square, todd, da2, Molyenux) I hate Molyneux the least, despite all the fables he has told.
The rest... can die in a fire. Horribly painfully.

 

[circ]

Pete Moly has some good shit in his baggage after all. Todd, I can't think of anything. Laidlaw and Gaider? No, not really.

 

[chzr]

 

[Vaarna_Aarne]

Mike Laidlaw is quickly becoming a bigger source than fucking Todd Howard.

Maybe they can marry each other.

And break Petey-boy's heart? YOU MONSTER

 

[DraQ]

They should merge and form an undermind.

 

[Xor]

They should merge and form an undermind.

The Anti-Codex, the complete opposite of the hivemind.

 

[hoverdog]

They should merge and form an undermind.

they have already formed one.

it's called Mastermind

 

[Luzur]

They should merge and form an undermind.

they have already formed one.

it's called Mastermind

I KNEW IT

 

[Vaarna_Aarne]

So Bethesda and Bioware weaponized Drog to use against the Codex?

 

[torpid]

The Bioware developers' non-stop rationalizations make me rage. They're really trying to deceive their traditional fanbase, and what makes it worse is that they seem to believe their own bullshit -- the self-delusion levels are through the roof.

 

[sgc_meltdown]

So Bethesda and Bioware weaponized Drog to use against the Codex?

Drog is merely the banshee of rpg modders whose forums accounts left tragically, except instead of unearthy screams signalling impending death you get unconvincing threads attracting sarcastic rpg recommendations

 

[Holy Cow]

the bioware staff's self-righteouness and completely egomaniacal rationalizations disgusts me far more than the howard-hines sith couple. so here's hoping that DA2 tanks and Skyrim gets a shinier rimjob from whatever shitty gaming magazine we steal our news from nowadays.

 

[sgc_meltdown]

I hate Molyneux the least, despite all the fables he has told.

He's just the poster child for wasted superstar designer potential. No supervision and yet a lot of sales.

 

[JarlFrank]

Guys, guys!
I have the perfect mockery name for DA2.

DragQueen Age

 

[Jools]

Guys, guys!
I have the perfect mockery name for DA2.

DragQueen Age

I had something like "Dragqueen On Rage" in mind, but yours sounds better, I admit.

 

[Coyote]

These majestic creatures have been called many things throughout the ages. Dragon. Drakon. Drachen. Draic kin. Drag queen. Drog-kun. But the fact of the matter remains: anyone who writes a story about flying, fire-breathing lizards and refers to them as anything other than "dragons" is a pretentious fucker.

--From In Pursuit of Knowledge: The Travels of A Chantry Scholar, by Brother Genitivi

Time for your daily dose of Bioware! Today, you get three options to choose from. The question: which of the following is the ultimate stereotype of a Bioware fanboy/girl/tranny/hermaphrodite/volourn?

Option # 1

First, some context:

The poster in question:

Am I the only one excited about this because they included a scene with pillow talk? lol

No. Am I the only one horrified to think that every single frigging love interest start the infamous "So what now?" dialogue after sex?

Yes. I want to be able to marry Merrill. That's what now. Is that too much to ask?

Option #2:

First, some context:

The poster in question:

None of them are gonna be bi, just you wait and see! *hic* Isabela is just a mass hallucination

Those Ander's files are just planted troll lulz from Priestly

The gods have a serious hate on for me at the moment, they even made me get sick throwing up

and miss Disneyland and thus I know it tis true.They hate us all and are just torturing us

*sits in a corner eating her chocolate parfait and sobbing*

Finally, the response:

Nuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu! Don't sob, it'll attract the devs, and then they'll steal your parfait! They're ALL bi, just you wait and see!

:/

Well, s/h/it has got one thing right, at least.



Option #3:

Okay, there is no option 3. I was going to go find an example of pure , but there were too many to choose from. But here, have some bonus derp:

Thread: Destructoid DA2 article and why bioware doesn't get it (edit: damn, I didn't see the topic about this until after I posted)

http://www.destructoid.com/the-old-school-dragon-age-ii-and-its-influences-194234.phtml

We saw a lot of people disengaging at hour one, hour two. Not pursuing it, right?" explains Laidlaw. The Dragon Age team might have chalked some of those lost players up to rentals, but the statistics didn't back it up: a significant number of people simply stopped playing Dragon Age: Origins after a few hours.

Sounds like a problem, right? After all when you put a lot of hard work into a product you want people to play it for a little more than an hour or two. Their solution:

"I think what it really spoke to is something RPGs have been wrestling with for a long time: that first impression," says Laidlaw.

So they fixed it, right? No more boring, endless filler combat. No more stabbing or hacking a guy 10 times before he dies. No more 2-3 hours of excruciating filler combat before the game proper even starts. Right?

"You get to an RPG and fire it up, and ... it hits you in the face with a thousand stats. Those stats are very cool, but you may not be mentally or emotionally prepared to deal with them as your first thing to do in the game," he says.

DA had 6 attributes, a handful of derived stats and a pretty simple skill/talent system, most of which were not even available to a level 1 character. Now it's possible that a beginner might find it daunting. However, Laidlaw says they played for an hour or two. You know what that tells me? That they figured out how to play the actual game, even if at a superficial level and are not, in fact, daunted by the stats anymore. The first hour or two generally covers:

The origin
The wilderness
Ostagar Tower

Now, I'll readily admit that on average, I drop my characters somewhere along those lines. I've finished ostagar tower with two, maybe three characters. So I know what those people feel, I was just perseverent enough to get a couple of mages past Ostagar. I will say it outright that after the origins (which vary wildly in quality, with the mage one probably being the worst one of those I played so far, which is sad because I find the other classes virtually unplayable) comes the most tedious and boring part of the game. Exploring the wilderness and especially ostagar is full of filler battle with HP bloated enemies that take forever to finish, generally provide very little challange, and due to the low level of your character your options are pretty much spamming the same handful of abilities over and over and over. I can see why people quit. And what has Bioware done to correct this? When I loaded up the DA2 demo I enjoyed the exaggerated intro part. I thought "finally, the dark spawn are easy to kill. it's ok for the game to be full of filler combat because they're entertaining to kill and I will presumably still have somewhat challenging boss battles ahead of me."

As soon as the exaggerated intro tutorial was over my face splattered all over the cold asphalt of reality. Dark spawn were, in fact, as tedious and boring to kill as in origins. The more EXCITING animations were just a gimmick that quickly wore off. Bioware has not, based on the demo, learned its lesson at all. HP bloated enemies that are a pain to kill are still there. Review tales of woe regarding repetitive caves just bring back horrible nightmares of the ruined temple or the deep roads or ostagar. As the underlying issues with the system have not changed merely by adding EXCITEMENT and AWESOME to the visuals, I suspect the kind of person who is unwilling to put up with the tedium will not suddenly change with DA as well. The Bioware dev team's insistance that some of the players are somehow too stupid to comprehend DA's fairly simple stat system (or worse, accidentally changes difficulty levels or friendly fire toggles) is not just supremely condescending but outright wrong. So there it is, some concrete feedback from a player who has abandoned DA within an hour or two a lot more often than he has bothered to stick to it. I never finished it and I wonder if I will ever bother to. I certainly won't even buy DA2 barring a sudden 180 on design policy and either the reduction of pointless filler combat or the reduction of enemy (and player, to keep it fair) HP bloat so they end quickly and brutally.

I can't even properly grasp what the OP said...

Basically hes not a fan of Bioware or DA, and is more suited to the JRPG. Even though most JRPGs have a ton of filler combat and grinding between story as well.

Biofans cannot into comprehension.

I've never played a single jRPG for more than 15 minutes.

then what's the point?

oh..troll.

reported as such.

you obviously just don't like RPGs..so why are you here?

oh yah..the troll thing.

The TLDR version for the rest Of you: OP likes RPGs with quick kills, like the ones from Japan. Nothing wrong with that, I like them too, but realize DA is a Western RPG.

Biofans cannot into differing opinions. And comprehension. Again.

This is not a TLDR version at all.

I like RPGs who have the decency to make the pointless. endless trash mobs thrown at me easy to kill so playing isn't a chore. You know, like well known japanese RPGs Baldur's Gate 2, Neverwinter nights, Fallout 1-3, Morrowind, Oblivion, the Might and Magic series, etc.

Dude/chick you just showed that you have no idea what you are talking about. BG2(developed by Obsidian was a WRPG) Neverwinter nights(Bioware), Fallout/elder scrolls games (Bethesda) Might and Magic i cant remeber, but these are all WRPGS.

Japanese RPGS are like Final Fantasy games.

So go learn about RPGs and games in general and then form a opinion on fact and not subjective.

I like RPGs who have the decency to make the pointless. endless trash mobs thrown at me easy to kill so playing isn't a chore. You know, like well known japanese RPGs Baldur's Gate 2, Neverwinter nights, Fallout 1-3, Morrowind, Oblivion, the Might and Magic series, etc.

Wtf did I just read?!?!?!?!

Biofans cannot into sarcasm.

I guess Laidlaw was right after all.

It mostly continues in that vein, but AustinKain's comments throughout the thread are pure gold. Plus, there's a Codexer cameo on pages 3 and 4.



Finale:

I support little blue babies for FemShep and Liara!

halo kitty wrote

halo kitty