NSFW Best Thread Ever [No SJW-related posts allowed]

[A horse of course]

http://www.pcgamer.com/the-text-adventures-that-never-were-part-1/

That was almost as unfunny as a Jimbob comic.

Almost

 

[Havoc]

Wait... wat? No game company could make a mini game, while their own game loads, because of a patent? Jesus... that's insanely stupid.

 

[Zewp]

Fargo, Romero and Brenda visiting Notch's new $70 million mansion.

That is tottaly how we will make Codex's meetings when we are older, right guys?

Heh, Notch actually looks good completely bald. Thank god he shaved it all off and stopped hiding it under a fedora.

 

[Caim]

Heh, Notch actually looks good completely bald.

Yeah. It makes him look like Kane's chubby cousin.

 

[ASTRAL]

Billions of dollars did made Notch look (a bit) more alpha.

 

[Angthoron]

Fargo, Romero and Brenda visiting Notch's new $70 million mansion.

That is tottaly how we will make Codex's meetings when we are older, right guys?

Were they snorting coke off Brenda, or is that just an unfortunate t-shirt print or an avenging pigeon?

 

[Weirdstuffinspace]

It's Romero's Residue.

 

[Jick Magger]

John Romero made her his bitch.

 

[profreshinal]

Notch seems to have some of it on his shoes to.

 

[felipepepe]

It's kind of awesome that Fargo, Romero and Notch are all rich game devs that started in a garage, each in a different decade.

 

[Darth Roxor]

But did they jam in Joe's garage?

 

[JohnTheRevelator]

If there was any jam involved they probably were eating it.

 

[Angthoron]

The overturned jar can on the table is empty, so I guess you're right.

 

[Havoc]

It's kind of awesome that Fargo, Romero and Notch are all rich game devs that started in a garage, each in a different decade.

And only 2/3 of them went on to create better games, thanks to their success. Tells you a lot about the current generation.

 

[No Great Name]

I knew that reviewers sometimes look too deep into some games to find something that simply isn't there, but man, I don't think the reviewer could project any harder in this one:

https://shutupvideogames.wordpress.com/2015/01/01/shut-up-desert-golfing/

 

[Unkillable Cat]

He should play Ski Free, then write a review.

 

[AN4RCHID]

I knew that reviewers sometimes look too deep into some games to find something that simply isn't there, but man, I don't think the reviewer could project any harder in this one:

https://shutupvideogames.wordpress.com/2015/01/01/shut-up-desert-golfing/

Jesus, this is like self-parody at this point. A hipster among hipsters. I swear, every time Jonathan Blow speaks highly of a game on twitter, the hipster sheeps line up to try and say something smart about it while completely missing the things that make the game fun. See for example:

8/31 - Jon Blow tweets that he's playing Desert Golfing and thinks it's good. For the next few days he tweets screenshots from the game. Before this there are a handful of tweets about the game per day, mostly from other game devs.
9/10 - Kyle Orland explain "Sublime simplicity: The transcendent beauty of Desert Golfing". Tweets about the game start to blow up around this time.
9/10 - Luke Plunkett complains that the game is too hard, but no, he totally gets it and thinks it's cool
9/11 - Brendan Keogh on "Desert Golfing and Permanence"
9/15 - Luke Plunkett comes back for seconds with some incredibly faggy 'pointers' for Desert Golfing
9/16 - Some aspiring hipster says "Desert Golfing is good for the soul"
9/23 - "I want to play Desert Golfing until the hole number on the flag runs off the screen, forever and ever amen."
9/25 - Quintin Smith and Matt Lees talk about DG. Can't force myself to watch.
10/1 - Eurogamer gives Desert Golfing a 9/10
10/1 - Danielle Riendeau and Chris Remo gush about DG
10/2 - Simon Parkin tries and fails to understand what fun is
10/2 - Jonathan Mann does one of his horrible 'song of the day's about DG
10/10 - Long-winded hipster asks, what is the point of Desert Golfing? It gets, like, deep, bro.
10/30 - Brendan Keogh: "Desert Golfing is majestic"
12/19 - Leigh Alexander offers insight such as "You wouldn't want to golf in a desert."
12/19 - ...aand gives the game a spot on her GoTY list

It's the whole fucking gang. It's like they can't enjoy a game for it's own sake; they need a cultural curator to tell them what are the cool games to like. And even then, they have to come up with some post-hoc rationalization for why they supposedly enjoyed it, because someone like Jon Blow could never recommend purely because it's fun. The same thing happened with Starseed Pilgrim and Michael Brough's games, and arguably Candy Box, although that one was blowing up independently of Blow (but I doubt there would have been as much literary masturbation devoted to it without his endorsment).

 

[Average Manatee]

Do they think this is their job or is this simply how they masturbate? I can only imagine that they must derive some sexual pleasure from talking about a shitty mobile game in order to justify the waste of time that these articles are.

 

[tuluse]

It's the whole fucking gang. It's like they can't enjoy a game for it's own sake; they need a cultural curator to tell them what are the cool games to like. And even then, they have to come up with some post-hoc rationalization for why they supposedly enjoyed it, because someone like Jon Blow could never recommend purely because it's fun. The same thing happened with Starseed Pilgrim and Michael Brough's games, and arguably Candy Box, although that one was blowing up independently of Blow (but I doubt there would have been as much literary masturbation devoted to it without his endorsment).

It's what artsy people do who aren't actually artistic or smart.

This is Douglass Adams making fun of them in the 1970s. So it's nothing remotely new.

 

[pippin]

Didn't read all the stuff poster above, but Desert Golfing indeed sounds weird. It's like the whole field is made of that pit where your ball gets stuck and it's fucking difficult to get out of.

 

[RK47]

 

[Drax]

The text was actually not required. The photo along is enough.

 

[The Fish]

Lads, we've entered a new age of C&C.

http://www.theguardian.com/technology/2015/jan/14/boyfriend-dragon-age-inquisition-gay

 

[Drax]

Lads, we've entered a new age of C&C.

http://www.theguardian.com/technology/2015/jan/14/boyfriend-dragon-age-inquisition-gay

Wtf Guardian?

 

[pippin]

i do like how there's a subtle homophobic tone on that title