NSFW Best Thread Ever [No SJW-related posts allowed]

[Zewp]

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=816919

*file not found*

 

[Angthoron]

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=816919

*file not found*

And in the admin section of NeoGaf, some mod is bragging about the speed with which he closed a thread and sent it to retardoland.

 

[Infinitron]

Here's a puff piece about Ubisoft's "editorial team", a group of people who oversee the development of every product released by them: http://www.edge-online.com/features...er-than-nintendo-rockstar-valve-and-blizzard/

Excerpt:

Those editorial guidelines include a push towards open-world systemic design and a focus on online elements, even in singleplayer games. “We are pushing hard to go to open world, mainly,” Hascoet says. “This is the best way to let the player express himself. I have a hard time with linear games – mission after mission after mission. I understand [it can be good]. The Last Of Us is great, but it’s not where we want to go.

“I know it’s not always obvious in our games, but my main [goal] is to let the player express [themselves]. I’m more about the systemic stuff than the narrative stuff. It’s not that obvious when you play Assassin’s Creed, but we are going in that direction. Far Cry 3 is a good [step toward that], and we worked a lot with the team during the process. What I work on most with the team is to always respect the player and have them create their own story, instead of being forced to live the story written by a creative.”

Another directive insists that a game’s context be grounded in reality, the odd Raving Rabbids or Child Of Light aside. It could be a past, present or near-future reality, Pellen explains, but Ubisoft’s editorial department likes games to draw inspiration from the real world. That would seemingly prohibit Ubisoft from ever making its own Mass Effect or Final Fantasy, but Pellen believes otherwise. “Yes, we could do a Mass Effect or a fantasy game, but supported with our pillars. Cloverfield is a perfect example. It’s so real when the creature appears on the screen.” District 9 is another example of fantasy grounded by reality, she says. The key difference is that the fantastic feels real.

I guess cherry blossom wasn't entirely wrong, though I don't think Might & Magic X was "Ubisoftened" in the way that he described.

 

[WhiskeyWolf]

"We want to be GTA V and make a lot of money because we are greedy bastards"

 

[garren]

Project Zomboid licensing drama:

http://theindiestone.com/forums/index.php/topic/8418-pz-source-code/#entry109716

 

[Infinitron]

Project Zomboid licensing drama:

http://theindiestone.com/forums/index.php/topic/8418-pz-source-code/#entry109716

Haha, wow. Freetards gonna freetard.

 

[Clockwork Knight]

I read the url as "plz source code"

Spoiler

...and then it turns out it was just that.

* I didnt get the moment about extracting... Why just not to open this files to community? It's solve all problems.

* Because, and please understand this quite obvious point: We are relying on the profits from this game to live and continue our business. You can't see why we'd have an issue with us releasing the entire source code to our game to everyone in the world? When 99.99999999% of that source code has nothing at all to do with the stuff you mention? Since the majority of what you mention is not used, yet you still consider our engine to be 'based' on these files, then us just releasing specific files doesn't seem like it will be sufficient so we will make sure none of this redundant libraries are still in the codebase for our own protection.

[...]

Anyway I give you permission to continue hunting, it's useful to us, but only for today, after that point permission is rescinded and you will be breaking our license agreement by continuing decompiling the sources. But thanks muchly for making our modding community suffer on account of what actually amounted to in terms of code use a missing license text file that the author of the library probably didn't care about anyway and a few defunct class files that were unused, or used to store 3 hacked in int variables that shouldn't have been there in the first place.

FYI blackmailing us with threats to get Steam to pull our game unless we sent you source code, under the guise of protecting GNU licenses is not cool, and if a tiny bit of my code was used without permission in someone else's thing, I wouldn't want to destroy their entire business and lives on account of it.

edit:

Yep now the version on Steam is broken weee! What a fkin nightmare. Hope your sense of righteousness is satisfied.

Another reason why I will never use that piece of shit Steam. All hail Gaben!

 

[agentorange]

My friend Jacob is playing through Fez for the first time, and posted that he loves the game, in spite of all of the Phil Fish drama. It really got me to thinking, did Phil Fish really deserve the ire of the community? Did he really do anything to become the gaming pariah he is now eternally infamous for being?



No. The answer is no. Do you know what artists do? Or even creative types, if you can't be bothered to call Phil Fish an artist? They say stupid shit. Sometimes they are brash, sometimes they are mean. That's the tradeoff, though. That's how we get the art: through these often troubled, always different people. In my opinion, Phil Fish's public stoning spoke a lot more about the state of the community than it did the comments he made.



So that guy is an asshole. Jonathan Blow seems really pretentious. If I met him, I might even think he's an ass. Does that make Braid a piece of shit? Does that make me discredit Blow, and attack him?



Fez might be an independent, pixel-art platformer but I bet if you played the game you liked it. Many folks went as far as to call it a work of genius, and if it's not, it's very inspired and well-made. It's very fun, and very cute! I do not believe something so saccharine could be created from someone who is a genuine asshole.



Phil Fish maybe received the most flak ever after his infamous comment that "Gamers are the worst fucking people". The culture we have created though, is toxic. I'm not talking about most of this website, because I believe that Giant Bomb is a great website with a great community. I hope that none of us are homophobic, misogynist, or anything like that. I hope none of us have neck beards.


But I think we can agree that it's the stereotype, and it's not unfounded. Everything always sucks and nothing is ever good. So many people will bitch about getting the same game over and over again, but do they want a new game, or do they want a new way to blow someones fucking head off?



When I first saw the trailer for Watch_Dogs, I was smitten. But as time went on I cooled off and tried to look at the game piece by piece. Full disclosure: I haven't played Watch_Dogs, but allow me to make an assumption. I bet when the heat is on and the noodles are boiling, I'm going to be running for cover to blast some dudes away. I'm going to be running around a corner to beat someone to death with a baton. I'm going to be blowing up police cars. I'm going to be running over pedestrians. That phone is going to be the last thing on my mind, save for the 1-3 functions I find genuinely useful.

Listen, though, because I'm not really going to shit on Watch_Dogs. I'm still excited about it. It's still one of the games that are pushing me in the direction of the now-current generation of consoles. But I just beat Max Payne 3 last week for the third time.






It's a great game. It's definitely in my favorites, even if its a bullet-romp that's full of white antiheroes and slow motion. We don't need more Max Payne's, though. This isn't where gaming stops! But I don't know where it goes anymore. Take the InFamous franchise, where not only is your character a superhero, but an unlicensed one that gives Sucker Punch free reign to do whatever they want with their characters. But somehow, I'm still shooting people? I'm still throwing grenades, I'm still shooting rockets--but it's not with bullets, so it's supposed to be different.



Games aren't bad, and they're not getting any worse so to speak. I just don't know where games are going. I caught myself a couple times this year pointing in the direction of the independent, but is that the answer? Can we really expect studios like Hello Games, Supergiant, and Devolver to be the true future of games? Fez sold a million copies not too long ago, and that's a big deal. One million is a big number. But Call of Duty: Ghosts is a game that is less than 7 months old, and has sold 14,500,000 copies. To reiterate, the state of AAA gaming involves bigger budgets, bigger, fragmented studios, and narrower avenues of gameplay.



I'm so excited for E3 because I have it in my head that it has to be good. I expect to see at least a glimpse of the future of gaming, and I just have no idea what that is. I sort of feel bad that I'm only interested in indie games, emulators, and my 3DS right now because I feel like that is somehow untrue to "real" gaming. I want to like AAA titles, I want to want to play them. I don't care about any of them, though. I'm still totally mystified by this console launch, and I feel like when the the last two gens came out of the gate, I could feel it when I woke up in the morning. I could look at cardboard boxes on store shelves in wonder thinking about the brave new worlds that awaited me, and now with the new gen, I can't even think of what game I would buy with either system aside from Infamous Second Son or Titanfall, two games I have only meager interest in.



So here we are, bombardiers. Where do video games go? What happens now? What is happening now?

 

[sexbad?]

I can't be bothered to read most of that article, because presumably it is BTE material, but in true proper fashion I will voice my perspective on Phil Fish and FEZ now that the topic is brought up.

He is a dick, but likely so are 90% of other game developers, the difference being that they're all under agreements from larger companies not to be dicks under their own names on the Internet so that the companies don't come off as bad mannered, or something like that. It's an oversimplification, but I doubt it's far from the truth. I think the amount of poison directed at him is stupid and we would all be better off just ignoring his awful Twitter and judging him based on the quality of game he created.

However, here is my experience with the game he created:
I got it when I still had my old desktop computer. This computer suffered through an AMD CPU and an Intel CPU, and two different AMD GPUs, and some other pretty competent but less important hardware. On any iteration of that machine, I either experienced crashes to desktop or what appeared to be scripting errors (a level would load fully but just not let me move, a cutscene would stop halfway through, etc). I tried FEZ on my laptop, with an Intel CPU, an integrated Intel GPU, and an nVidia GPU, and I always experienced the latter of the two problems that I just mentioned. Now I am on a much more contemporary PC, with nice (albeit AMD) hardware, and I can actually run FEZ, but it stutters frequently, and it gives me all sorts of graphical artifacts on screen. Also, the game doesn't really look like much fun anyway.

There's more than enough for me to hate about all the people at Polytron that actually relates to their abilities as game developers. Some guy's personality? I didn't pay money for that. But I did pay money for supposed GOTY 2012 (2013?), and I got something that cannot function in the most basic sense on a good variety of standard PC hardware.

 

[Lemming42]

So that guy is an asshole. Jonathan Blow seems really pretentious. If I met him, I might even think he's an ass. Does that make Braid a piece of shit?

No, the fact that Braid's a piece of shit makes Braid a piece of shit.

Struggling through endless tedious puzzles only to see the worst ending to any game ever and then endure hipsters commenting for the next year on how it's an "art game" and "revolutionary" and "groundbreaking" and the ending was "mindblowing" etc.

 

[Tom Selleck]

TL;DR: Is that picture of a neckbeard Andrew Luck?

 

[sexbad?]

Wait, now I did read that whole quotation. Are you sure it isn't two separate articles, agentorange? I don't see a transition from gamers-are-assholes to games chat anywhere in there.

 

[agentorange]

It's not an article. It was just one rambling forum post.

 

[tuluse]

I thought it was a series of comments he had left on other articles it's so disjointed.

 

[DalekFlay]

"We want to be GTA V and make a lot of money because we are greedy bastards"

Nothing wrong with focusing on open world, really. It works for a lot of genres when done well. The problem is their focus on being so dumb-fuck simple to play and narrative-heavy it basically no longer feels like a game. That's been Assassin's Creed problem especially. Though I hear the last one, Black Flag, was better in this regard.

 

[Peter]

No, the fact that Braid's a piece of shit makes Braid a piece of shit.

Struggling through endless tedious puzzles

Say what you will about Braid, but the puzzle design was very good. Do you like puzzle games? Did you go into the game already hating it because durr hipsters?

 

[Delterius]

No, the fact that Braid's a piece of shit makes Braid a piece of shit.

Struggling through endless tedious puzzles

Say what you will about Braid, but the puzzle design was very good. Do you like puzzle games? Did you go into the game already hating it because durr hipsters?

Braid was my very first contact not only with The Indie Scene but also with gaming journalism in general. Until then, my choices in games weren't informed by the internets and I was happier.

My experience with the game was the obvious, I liked the backgrounds and the music. The central mechanic of rewinding time was interesting and the puzzles were good. The game itself was very satisfying. Of course I tried to piece the text snippets into something comprehensible but I didn't bother - that's when the professional bloggers started their whole stick of pretending Jonathan Blow is a genius. They tried to convinced me the issue of Braid's 'plot' was me, then I started hating on the whole thing.

Braid doesn't have a plot. But credit where its due, the game itself is good. And that's what we are all about.

 

[Baron Dupek]

http://variety.com/2014/digital/new...vice-twitch-for-1-billion-sources-1201185204/

Google grabbed Twitch for $1 billion. Seems like Pokemon experiment is finally over.

 

[Angthoron]

How many more video hosts does it have to buy until monopoly lawsuits? Looking forward to that.

 

[jcd]

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[Unkillable Cat]

No, the fact that Braid's a piece of shit makes Braid a piece of shit.

Struggling through endless tedious puzzles only to see the worst ending to any game ever and then endure hipsters commenting for the next year on how it's an "art game" and "revolutionary" and "groundbreaking" and the ending was "mindblowing" etc.

Except Braid was groundbreaking. Just not in the way people think. Braid not only showed tons of people that the "Indie" scene actually exists, but that it is a viable alternative to the AAA game design model.

I have no trouble with the gameplay in Braid except maybe for the hoops one is made to jump through to get the "true" ending (stand there for 40 minutes while this platform creeps across the entire level?).

And I've seen games with worse endings than Braid. Arx Fatalis: "You've stopped the Big BadbutnowyougottagoBYE!" Eye of the Beholder: "Here's a block of exposition text followed by the DOS prompt!" That doesn't mean that Braid's ending isn't shit, because it really is.

 

[garren]

However, here is my experience with the game he created:
I got it when I still had my old desktop computer. This computer suffered through an AMD CPU and an Intel CPU, and two different AMD GPUs, and some other pretty competent but less important hardware. On any iteration of that machine, I either experienced crashes to desktop or what appeared to be scripting errors (a level would load fully but just not let me move, a cutscene would stop halfway through, etc). I tried FEZ on my laptop, with an Intel CPU, an integrated Intel GPU, and an nVidia GPU, and I always experienced the latter of the two problems that I just mentioned. Now I am on a much more contemporary PC, with nice (albeit AMD) hardware, and I can actually run FEZ, but it stutters frequently, and it gives me all sorts of graphical artifacts on screen. Also, the game doesn't really look like much fun anyway.

Heh. My friend bought the game through some humble bundle and we installed all the bundle games on his steam account. Tried Fez, crash on startup. OK new try, now it works. Jumped around for 5 minutes, new crash on zone transition. Quit trying after that. When I look at my friends steam account, he still hasn't played Fez after that.

 

[Astral Rag]

 

[jcd]

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[Kitako]

Still better than the hordes of mobile-to-PC ports that are invading Steam lately.