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NSFW Best Thread Ever [No SJW-related posts allowed]

FeelTheRads

Arcane
Joined
Apr 18, 2008
Messages
13,716
It's a pretty good jRPG, yeah.
The_Nameless_One_by_MrXio.png

You know the funny thing? There are people who think this wouldn't make a difference. All that interior drama shit TNO says wouldn't sound any different to them if it was said by some child with a gorilla face.
 

Angthoron

Arcane
Joined
Jul 13, 2007
Messages
13,056

You know the funny thing? There are people who think this wouldn't make a difference. All that interior drama shit TNO says wouldn't sound any different to them if it was said by some child with a gorilla face.
Sure, or if he were an anthropomorphic animal from a Disney cartoon. I can totally see TNO as a talking bunny. Those spell cutscenes could be replaced by a song-and-dance number about Torment or wackiness of Mechanus as well.
 

Angthoron

Arcane
Joined
Jul 13, 2007
Messages
13,056
While looking for a full version of "Stopp that poisen", I came up across a mindblowing little story of cyclopean proportions. Apparently it starts with some sort of Buffy/Spiderman fusion performed in the classical "stopp that poisen" style, but by the end devolves into something quite else:

It hade been a heavy fight almost 50% loost before they reatreated.

And the alien landed huge building like ships living decended from the sky snake and balone and even bat like starships flying around them.

The Zerg Hatchery hade arrived. It roots greved down and around it the moss like creep started to grow.

Small vorm like larva was being growned inside of it. The other buildings landed five spore collonys living Arial defens cannons.

Like the Hatchery they grew roots drawing its food and life from the Hatchery it self.

The Zerge now hade lost their ability to fly between the stars. But they soon would have the ability to grow New air force units.

New life was groing inside the Hatcery larvas that would become drones to harvest crystal and gas, Zerges, Zerglings for deffens.

And in the sky the flying Overlords the living brains and troop carriers was scouthing the area for enemy forces.

Their living sensors sweeping the ground after anything hostiles. And around them the Reminding Mutalisk the snake like winged flyer was Buzzing around.

And beside them the slower Guardien was flying. They only hade a small number of them left.

They where bombers living bombers terrifying in their precision. but they where slow and Earth air force hade manage to destroy to many of them.

As the hatchery grew roots the Zerges was already moving following orders.

The planet was infacted by demonic anti-lifeform. That was not accepble they cold not enslave or even feed of demons. So they hade to destroy them completly and close the dimension rift they came from.

Overlords escorted by Mutalisk and Guardiens returned from their mission.

Carried inside of them was human civlians million of them stolen from small island and towns across the world.

The Huge Snake like Zerge waited as the other zerges and Zerglings horded the humans outside.

The voice of the overmind told it to spair some humans for experimental reson.

The rest would be sacrificed to close the hellmouths. But they hade to wait a week untill they hade atleast a million humans to sacrfice.

At the same time in the United earth Goverment.

The military was scramling around papper reports where coming in as they prepared their deffenses.

The first batle was lost but not the war. And in the sky small hiden satelites in orbite and on the moon was activated and humanity once agien regained communication and GPS navigation ability.

But most importaint spy cameras was watching the Zerges analying tryning to find a weeknes.

Mages/witches where cursing the zerges. Even some pissed of Vampires and demons started to fight the aliens. After all Humans where THEIR food and toys.

In the base Xander sighted as the radio and computer blinked and transmition started airborn photo of the aliens.

It was time to analyse.

Jarod, Junior, Xander, May, Margret Walsh, Andrew, Warren, and other over the world scientist watched and made teories.

A weaknes hade to be found. Sights from nighmares where seen millions of human was murdered in camps by the aliens.

Mages could feel the effect they where sacrifiad to close the hellmouths on earth.

Civilans could only watched in horror as the military could do nothing and they died.

After a week the first larvas was seen crawling out from the Hatchery.

And they started to mutate in to Zerges, Zerglings and drones. The fist drone mutated is self in to a strange building.

A weekness was found the Zerge could only reproduce by using the Hatchery.

Now how to use it. And they did not have a loot of time. They where protected from air attacks.

And ground attack would be difficult. Huge Zerges army stod in the way.

Every trooper and every drone and Larva hade to be destroy or else one might become a Hatchery.

If you wish to enjoy the rest of this masterpiece, or share it with some sensitive language student, it's from http://www.grandt.com/XanderZone/stories/read.php?story=TheWebbOfXander.html
 

Coyote

Arcane
Joined
Jan 15, 2009
Messages
1,149
Does a full version of this still exist somewhere?

Couldn't find one. They were on the Elder Scrolls forums back when they were located at www.elderscrolls.com/forums, and either the thread or the posters were known as "The Angel Tears", but I don't know if they're archived anywhere. Google's only turning up another site where people mocked them.

Probably most of their best posts are quoted in the old BTE, anyway. From what I remember, their forum RPing consisted 90 percent of eating things and making small talk in broken English, to the point that it became an in-thread meme for the people here making fun of them here (hence Chinese Jetpilot's comment about "ever-present hunger" in the linked post).

Edit: I think the first mention of them was here, which also contains (now-broken) links to all of their threads up to that point.

Some highlights:

I tried inserting an anti-obesity message in my last post there, but apparently it went over there head.

He reaches into his purse and produces an apple. "Would you like a bite from my apple? It tastes quite good. Good food is so hard to come by. Please, have a bite. It tastes good."

His hand outstretched, you notice he is handing you the apple to eat. You want to eat it, because eating is good. Eating is good because it produces energy. But you feel as if something is amiss. Perhaps eating too much is not good. Perhaps having too much stored energy is a bad thing?

His reply?

"no thank you" he said
He thought that that could be a Poisenout apple.
He took up a peace of bread and ham and sliced the bread and put the ham between the bread as a sanwich

EATING

- They walked in the cabin and Sij'Rath locked the door and sat down on the bed. "So waht do you want to tell me"

- she sat down and said "Well you might want to arrest me and send me away for this. But it was me who stole the artifact. Like you said. I still have it however. Second. II love you. And third...i.."

- "I like you too much to send you away to the prision so i will not arrest you at all" he said looking in love at Karina "And second i love you to". "What is the third?" he asked

Then Chinese Jetpilot got them angry enough to break their own rules and kill his troll-character:

Chinese Jetpilot said:
OccupatedVoid said:
Chinese Jetpilot said:
Admiral jimbob said:
You're getting INTO it, aren't you?
Yeah, too bad they killed me.
Did they eat some more before or after they killed you?

Haha, I'm sure it won't be long until they're hungry. Now they're taking turns to torture my corpse:

"Shut up you he started by trying to kill Karina and Take over leader ship" he said Cilvia takes a verry strong rope and ties him up
Then Sij'Rath walks over and cuts off his fingers and ties him up in a pole and said "You will suffer" and cut a nice fine cut over Vampyros's nose
"You will never harm anyone again" Sij'Rath said
Cilvia held her sword by his neck and said "You will not toch him again" and made a little scarr over his throught.

- aravy looked at all the scars and sais "i want to make one to!"he said and used his long katana and maked a pretty long cut at his breast
 

ERYFKRAD

Barbarian
Patron
Joined
Sep 25, 2012
Messages
28,242
Strap Yourselves In Serpent in the Staglands Shadorwun: Hong Kong Pillars of Eternity 2: Deadfire Steve gets a Kidney but I don't even get a tag. Pathfinder: Wrath I'm very into cock and ball torture I helped put crap in Monomyth
Ah, memories from when I though it would be a good idea to read the entirety of the BTEs.
 

felipepepe

Codex's Heretic
Patron
Joined
Feb 2, 2007
Messages
17,274
Location
Terra da Garoa
What's worst:

A) People whining about race in games.
B) People raging about people whining about race in games.
C) People writing articles about people raging about people whining about race in games.
 

evdk

comrade troglodyte :M
Patron
Joined
Mar 31, 2004
Messages
11,292
Location
Corona regni Bohemiae
Codex 2012 Serpent in the Staglands Dead State Divinity: Original Sin Project: Eternity Torment: Tides of Numenera Wasteland 2 A Beautifully Desolate Campaign Steve gets a Kidney but I don't even get a tag.

Dexter

Arcane
Joined
Mar 31, 2011
Messages
15,655
What's worst:

A) People whining about race in games.
B) People raging about people whining about race in games.
C) People writing articles about people raging about people whining about race in games.
D) People reposting all of the above on the Codex
E) People bitching about people reposting things on the Codex
F) People bitching about people bitching about reposting things on the Codex

Anyway, apparently he got the name of the Subreddit wrong and it's not called "Death_to_SJWs" but "TumblrInAction" and it seems pretty funny, so there's that: http://www.reddit.com/r/TumblrInAction/

r9WYS23.png

cTjGCtu.png

http://www.nydailynews.com/entertai...vent-charged-trans-misogyny-article-1.1603423
 
Last edited:
In My Safe Space
Joined
Dec 11, 2009
Messages
21,899
Codex 2012
What's worst:

A) People whining about race in games.
B) People raging about people whining about race in games.
C) People writing articles about people raging about people whining about race in games.
D) People reposting all of the above on the Codex
E) People bitching about people reposting things on the Codex
F) People bitching about people bitching about reposting things on the Codex

Anyway, apparently he got the name of the Subreddit wrong and it's not called "Death_to_SJWs" but "TumblrInAction" and it seems pretty funny, so there's that: http://www.reddit.com/r/TumblrInAction/

r9WYS23.png

cTjGCtu.png
A poor person feeding mainly on pasta and potatoes has a pretty big fatness potential.
 

Bitcher1

Cipher
Joined
Jan 9, 2012
Messages
263

The Hollywood Reporter said that the actor and unidentified woman continued their back and forth, with the latter “arguing that straight people always play transgendered characters and received awards for it.”

Leto challenged this statement, saying that if that was the case, only straight actors could portray straight characters.

"Then you've made sure people that are gay, people that aren't straight, people like the Rayons of the world would never have the opportunity to turn the tables and explore parts of that art," Leto said.

Equating gender with sexuality. What a fauxgressive cis white male pig. Check your privilege.
 
Joined
Jul 21, 2009
Messages
2,573
Location
Once and Future Wasteland
Serpent in the Staglands Steve gets a Kidney but I don't even get a tag. Pathfinder: Wrath
I call these folks idiots not for their "arguments" - the game takes place in a small area of medieval Bohemia, so there are good odds everyone would have been white anyway - but...

I don't them them idiots because of their "arguments" - which have a factual basis so it really doesn't make any sense that I put that in sarcastic quotations - but...
 

Tytus

Arcane
Joined
Jul 9, 2011
Messages
3,596
Location
Mazovia
I want to play a black, Muslim, feminist, lesbian, knight that is also otherkin. She will be so strong and so awesome with weapons that she will show sexist Bohemian Knights where their place is. Also she will destroy the preconceptions about Muslims faith and teach the Bohemian peasants religious tolerance. Also she has to be slightly overweight and have OCD - she has to touch every opponents helmet before killing them. And of course I want a romance sub-plot in which I can seduce a noble woman, marry her and together we will take over the Kingdom and rule it as Queens. Also we will adopt a Mongol/Tatar child to be our heir. The nobles will be so amazed by what I accomplished that they will recognize our rule and defend us with their lives if need arises. Also the character needs to have a dark and tragic past because of which she practices self-harm until my love interest will show that she doesn't have torture herself anymore and will heal me with her love. I thought what weapons she could use and I came to a conclusion that swords are too phallic so her main weapon will be throwing rings like those Xena had. She will have at least six of them and they will return to her after each use like boomerangs. And don't give me shit that weapon like that wouldn't be believable. Video games are full of unbelievable things and are historically inaccurate, obsessing over one thing like that, just shows the person is a bigot and should be put out with the trash.
The characters also is required to posses triggers that put her a on rage filled downward spiral and gives bonus points to strength and stamina. Her trigger would be slavery. Her mother was a slave when the Crusaders attacked the middle east. So every time she sees a situation when one man tries to diminish the freedom of another, she just goes of the rails. Another trigger would be sex without consent. They could even build a scene around it - where in a tavern a pig (because he doesn't deserve to be called a man) grabs milkmaid's butt or breasts and it starts an awesome bar fight.
Also because she is a Muslim she should be well educated and well spoken it contrast with majority of Bohemian population which still clings to a hateful religion (Christianity). Of course her love interest would be super intelligent also and that is why I would fell in love with her.
My character also has to be a vegetarian, so she will scoff at people who eat meat. There even should be a sub-quest when you can sneak at night and release all the pigs into the wild.
The game also needs to have a house building mechanic and a bunch activities that I can do beside doing the story. Like growing crops, fishing, working as a blacksmith, miner, healer etc.
I especially like the healer activity going from village to village and saving lives of Europeans that didn't know any kind of medicine back then, also didn't bathe. Only Jews did bathe in Europe that is why Poland didn't have the black plague. There were too many Jews, so they kept the Poles clean.
Oh I almost forgot my love interest that will rule beside me has to be Jewish. She has a noble blood but her father fell in love with a Jewish woman, so they raised in Jewish tradition.

I don't understand why game developers don't make such games. It's a game it doesn't have to 100% like it was in the middle ages. If anything creating a game that would be like the middle ages, would just propagate hate, misogyny and lack of tolerance. Game developers should strive to create game that are as inclusive as possible, because this is the best way to teach the younger generations how the world should work. Bioware is good at it, at times, but they still have a long way to go.

And this is my honest opinion, I wouldn't waste my time on a pointless circlejerk :deadhorse:
 

Tytus

Arcane
Joined
Jul 9, 2011
Messages
3,596
Location
Mazovia
tl;dr

Send this thread to Retardo or at the very least rename it "Codexers Perpetually Rage at Kotaku and Tumblr Feminists" or something.


I second that notion.
 

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