Angry Joe: Skyrim is MAJESTIC! Matt Barton: Skyrim is boring

[J_C]

I really didn't want to post this. Honestly. But I was stupid enough to watch this guy's review, and I decided that if I had to suffer, you have to suffer (at least if you are stupid and watch this stuff).

http://www.blisteredthumbs.net/2011/11/ ... ry-review/

In short: Skyrim is the best RPG ever, almost perfect game, from now on we have to measure every RPG to this masterpiece.

Be prepaired for 10 minutes of circle jerking. I think the guy even had an orgasm, because the game is so Majestic!

BUT

To balance it out, here is Matt "Matt Chat" Barton's opinion:

http://www.armchairarcade.com/neo/node/4413

 

[Peter]

 

[Surf Solar]

Thank god, we were almost running out of Skyrim threads.

 

[jancobblepot]

Best Thread Ever material...

 

[curry]

in before well deserved retardo

 

[RRRrrr]

Angry Joe is a fucking moron, and I don't say that with any offense intended. He is just naturally stupid and it's sad that some retards watch him.
I don't hate him or anything, I'm just sad nature has taken so much and given him so little...

 

[Gragt]

Taking lots of risks, I see. He'll probably criticise it in a few years when it becomes the correct thing to do.

 

[Johnny the Mule]

Why does he have dirt on his face?

 

[jancobblepot]

Because he's mexican or something like that.

 

[deuxhero]

Because he is angry.

 

[Surf Solar]

This is a much better Skyrim review.

http://christwire.org/2011/11/is-skyrim ... maneuvers/

 

[Mozgoëbstvo]

THANK YOU, Surf Solar.


Tears of pure brilliance

 

[Joghurt]

This is a much better Skyrim review.

http://christwire.org/2011/11/is-skyrim ... maneuvers/

Is that shit for real or it is some sort of christian parody website?

In any case

 

[Oriebam]

Best lines? Surely the angry spic has said something memorable praising this majestic game

 

[attackfighter]

Best lines? Surely the angry spic has said something memorable praising this majestic game

"Bethesda has created the penultimate Western RPG!" - angry joe

 

[RedScum]

This is a much better Skyrim review.

http://christwire.org/2011/11/is-skyrim ... maneuvers/

Once they player has finish killing all the people in Skyrim, his final battle is to have a mass dragon orgy with his fellow homosexual warriors he meets on his way and all take turns impregnating the dragon with homosexual dragon eggs.

Yupp, sounds leggit.

inb4 Bioware.

 

[Oriebam]

They should register here, sounds like instant newfags of the year

 

[Captain Shrek]

He thinks character creation is putting beards on and adding eye liners. :/

 

[Luzur]

This is a much better Skyrim review.

http://christwire.org/2011/11/is-skyrim ... maneuvers/

In games like Skyrim, players are teleported to a far way lands that are cream filled with demonic spell crafting, violent shirtless blood shed and exposed not only Satanic critters, but bombarded with gay under tones of fecal fornication.

wait, is that a upcoming DLC?

also, i like how they deduce what Dovahkiin means.

SKYRIM LINGO: DOVAHKIIN – Is the supposed citizens of Skyrim, but is a code word that means:
D – Dirty
O – Orifice
V – Violation
A – Always
H – Hurts
K – Keep
I – Injecting
I – It
N – Naiant

 

[Vaarna_Aarne]

Seriously, is that Christwire thing legit?

EDIT: It's pretty impressive how many different ways they have of describing cocks and assholes in that article alone.

 

[TalesfromtheCrypt]

Seriously, is that Christwire thing legit?

ffs how can people still fall for christwire

 

[J_C]

Craft system? Tedious. Combat? Tedious. Exploration? Where's the friggin' door to this place??? Oh, missed that little corridor. Probably because it's so dark in here...better cast candlelight. Pause...go into magic menu...greesashghsghs

Looks like J_C's best friend needs a better quest compass

Is he right or is he right? Of course he is right.

Anyway, thanks for mentioning Matt, I edited his "review" into the opening post.

And just in case, I also link it here:

http://www.armchairarcade.com/neo/node/4413

Worth a read, especially the 2nd post, which is a rant.

 

[Humanity has risen!]

More witless, inept, vulgar and embarrassing liberal parodying. I wouldn't mind sites like these if they were actually witty. The fake church forum though is worse by an order of magnitude, I've never seen so many horrible attempts at lampooning.

Anyway yeah Angry Joe isn't very bright.

 

[Luzur]

Angry Joe reminds me of one of those TV Preachers over in the US, spreading "God's Word" with one hand and grabbing dollars with the other, but in his case its grabbing his dick.

 

[Oriebam]

Angry Joe reminds me of one of those TV Preachers over in the US, spreading "God's Word" with one hand and grabbing dollars with the other, but in his case its grabbing his dick.

that makes no sense