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Let's Read Andromeda LP anyone?

RK47

collides like two planets pulled by gravity
Patron
Joined
Feb 23, 2006
Messages
28,396
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Not Here
Dead State Divinity: Original Sin
 

RK47

collides like two planets pulled by gravity
Patron
Joined
Feb 23, 2006
Messages
28,396
Location
Not Here
Dead State Divinity: Original Sin
Getting tired of being pushed around and pinned down.
Oh, just in case people accuse me of giving money to Bioware; I didn't. This LP is sponsored by Ulminati.

key-arrive.jpg
 
Last edited:

TNO

Augur
Joined
Aug 21, 2009
Messages
452
Location
UK
RK47 I can only salute you.

In your prestigious career, you have made many contributions to better understanding the 'new shit' over previous years. Particular highlights were the 'texted out' LPs of the Mass Effect series. I urged you on when you were flagging in ME3 - understandably, and I further understood when you shoved up videos instead. Life is short, and bad RPGs long, and that is increasingly the message of Bioware.

I had planned to offer a review to the codex on Andromeda as I'd reviewed all the other ones. Yet to my shame I cannot: life is short, and this game incredibly long, and also incredibly crap. I played for a couple of hours on trial and gave up, one of the few games I have done so. For you to even play this game for an LP is an astounding act of self-sacrifice. I look forward to reading and supporting you in this gargantuan task. A quick list of faults to explain my despair:
  • Obviously Andromeda wanted to put behind the disaster of ME3 ending by doing a completely blank slate (which doesn't really work - why don't we have a friendly reaper to help us given they previously travelled in intergalactic space if I hit the blue ending? Why aren't all our eyes glowing if I hit green, but whatever). Yet this game need not be a ME game except by association: you could have had a new IP of intergalactic human sci-fi explorers. One of the strengths of ME was the ecology of its universe and alien races - all we have now is badly animated familiar alien models and frankly anonymous tech.
  • They screw up the new interesting things. First contact with alien life could be cool. Yet it lasts exactly 15 second before you start shooting, because cover shooting is the only path to salvation for an ME protagonist. The alien worlds are just fairly similar to natural worlds with occasional kitsch (granted, often lovingly crafted). The alien antagonists are just humanoid grunts with guns, several features like the long dead uber race are ripped off again, and so on.
  • YET ANOTHER FUCKING OUTING OF THE SPECIAL PROTAGONIST IN THE ELITE CREW TO SAVE THE WORLD BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY!
  • I couldn't tolerate DA:I because MMO mechanics are there to make muppets waste their lives doing pointless busy work to grind out time and keep them playing subscriptions. Andromeda is DA:I in space. The same fetch quest drudgery, the same mindless busy work. The same ticking boxes on some virtual spreadsheet for incrementally better rewards. A man's mind cannot be fed with e-pablum alone.
  • Dialogue which is at its best when reporting mindless functionary items, and anything more evidently beats the meagre talent of the writing staff and is cringe as fuck. Want to see what an average 14 year old can write about religion in space, alien cultures, sex? You're in luck.
  • Wish fulfilment romance and flirting options with uninteresting characters.
  • Combat which is a weird mix of Gears of War gritty cover hopping with added Tribes-esque jetpacks, without really taking advantage of either. Speeding across these environments with a jet pack and surfing at breakneck speeds could have been pretty damn cool. But you can't, so enjoy truding slowly around collecting the sidequest coupons and seeing which of of the enemy versus companion AI is more asinine.
Combined with the fact even the mainstream reviewers are noticing this gives less advantage a Codexer joining the pile-on. 'Worst game I ever played' is often throwaway hyperbole, but I genuinely mean it for Andromeda.

May god have mercy on your soul, RK47

:salute:
 

Ezeekiel

Liturgist
Joined
Dec 19, 2016
Messages
1,783
Question for you: How is the mouse in this one? Any accel/decel? Does it jump around when fine-aiming?

I think ME3 did ok in that regard, but that was a while ago so maybe I'm misremembering. Recently played a little me1 on steam and it had deceleration if you moved it too fast.


Just kinda curious if the plague of AAA console-ports with garbage mouse-support is still going strong...
 

RK47

collides like two planets pulled by gravity
Patron
Joined
Feb 23, 2006
Messages
28,396
Location
Not Here
Dead State Divinity: Original Sin
Question for you: How is the mouse in this one? Any accel/decel? Does it jump around when fine-aiming?

I think ME3 did ok in that regard, but that was a while ago so maybe I'm misremembering. Recently played a little me1 on steam and it had deceleration if you moved it too fast.


Just kinda curious if the plague of AAA console-ports with garbage mouse-support is still going strong...

Can't feel any acceleration.
You can disable mouse smoothing and aim assist.
 

Ezeekiel

Liturgist
Joined
Dec 19, 2016
Messages
1,783
Question for you: How is the mouse in this one? Any accel/decel? Does it jump around when fine-aiming?

I think ME3 did ok in that regard, but that was a while ago so maybe I'm misremembering. Recently played a little me1 on steam and it had deceleration if you moved it too fast.


Just kinda curious if the plague of AAA console-ports with garbage mouse-support is still going strong...

Can't feel any acceleration.
You can disable mouse smoothing and aim assist.

Huh. That part must have been done by the original team or something.

Judging by your videos there seems to be a skeleton of a sort-of decent game underneath and some scraps of meat, but it wasn't finished by a long shot and then the true retards took over or something. Sometimes even the character animations in cutscenes sort of work fine... Sometimes. The quality is all over the place, but mostly bleh.

Then again I'm skipping through most of the comically boring dialogue.
They really nailed that mmo feel of "click through all conversations because they don't matter and there are no choices anyway".
 

RK47

collides like two planets pulled by gravity
Patron
Joined
Feb 23, 2006
Messages
28,396
Location
Not Here
Dead State Divinity: Original Sin
It's really to be expected. The world is too big to be filled with detailed quest. It's time-fodder activity. Nothing more.
I'm waiting for this to happen.
 

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