Safav Hamon
Self-Ejected
- Joined
- May 15, 2018
- Messages
- 2,141
The descriptive text in Planescape would also be considered bad writing by novelists. Opening descriptions of a character shouldn't exceed one brief sentence; one and a half at most. Prefacing the introduction of a character with several successive sentences of description is clunky writing. It's also clunky to use several adjectives successively, I.E "strikingly beautiful ghostly form." Another problem is how the writer describes physical actions after descriptions of physical appearances. The reason why this is uncommon is because authors are trying to create the illusion of a 'moving' world, whereas this approach makes it seem like time is frozen while the protagonist is making his observations.
"She stirs slightly and her eyes flicker, a striking ghostly form with long flowing hair, arms crossed and eyes closed." - That's how a traditional writer would of done it.
"She stirs slightly and her eyes flicker, a striking ghostly form with long flowing hair, arms crossed and eyes closed." - That's how a traditional writer would of done it.