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Well, we learned how Grimwulf reacts under extreme pressure. He makes marriage proposals. Pray to the gods we won't get more extreme pressure in the future.
Well, we learned how Grimwulf reacts under extreme pressure. He makes marriage proposals. Pray to the gods we won't get more extreme pressure in the future.
That was an awesome update. Well, both goat-war and bug-war were cool as heck. Maybe not as manacing as deer-war, but still making history.
Too bad Luka-boy died, but oh well! You served your kommunistik society, komrade!
He did well in both battles, so I vote for making him a coffin'
Like you know, granite one, instead of shitty grave.
Damn it! I leave for a week because I got a new, wonderful job and had a bunch of hectic days, come back with a Mental Log ready and find out The Cook died.
Oh well, such is life in the KKK. It's not that surprising.
No updates today, since I'm stuck far away from home and muh Rimworld PC due to irl fuckery.
In other news. First, I'm finally getting a proper vacation starting from 23rd of December and ending with New Year holidays. Meaning, during these 15 days I will have an opportunity to GIT PRODUCTIVE and engorge 1-2 updates every day. Dunno how r we gonna vote, but maybe we can use the same system as in old Prospector LP - rapid voting, where the first officer (colonist) vote posted in the thread counts as decisive one.
Updated the Memorial and the Red List in OP. Had to switch my old Dominions buddies to unconfirmed status with a heavy heart. It's been about two months since their last activity in this thread, and active voting is what makes the LP fun. Inane stuff like SILVER CLUBS, SOLO STEALTH MISSIONS or SEKRETLY KAPITALISTIC BUNKER crack me up every time.
If we ever run out of recruits, I'll start recruiting unconfirmed komrades.
What else. Oh, yeah. Got something for you, Kalin. Rare footage of your father's death.
Thought I'd just leave it here as a symbolic present to lift your mood a bit, make you more productive maybe.
All that man ever wanted was a bonus. And now he's dead. Makes you think, huh?
Great, the 'dex didn't give me any alerts for this thread... I thought Grimwulf was running from the mob again. Instead he was hard at LP work all the time.
Business as usual it seems. I save the KKKolony again and again, be it by laz0r or my skillfully trained "Cute & Crispy Canine Pack" (CCCP), but do I get respect? Nope.
Sad. Icecream.
But when I take some me-time for the first time in... at least a century, you manage to get the only productive beings in this KKKolony killed, including their spawn, the future of KKK! And the bad cook too.
Put those dogs on the memorial wall, they are true heros of the motherland!
Cheetos proposing the the KKKommissar was definitely the highlight tho.
As to rumors that I might have been involved with it, misreading a burning room as "being in heat/heat of the moment"... *ambiguous popping*
P.S. put Kalinski's toe on the wall too, at least THAT part was useful and served the KKKolony with distinction. (Benedict Arnold style)
First I was like, whuz da big deal? Just sum squishy bug-
Yeaaaaaaaaah....
Kuka-boy gettin recked was a downer. Despite being a sicko he was more bro than most. Some *coincidence* that cyclops gimp boy ran off on a "solo misshun" right after killing him, rite? WONG! Textbook planned hit if ya ask me, Cheetos getting rid of da enemies through proxy. Add to dat she shot Krivol boom headshot and it's clear as days to a trained pro space cop dat bitch be runnin wild purging folks. Blipblob should keep da ho on a leash, unless space veggie is tryin to take over by proxy too!?
By the way get a load of that greasy veggie, swaying and popping all smug and proud thinking itz sum hot shit just cuz it hauls around a haxxy 1MW Pulse Layzor all day long. Give me a fuckin space gun and I bet ah could fry up some schmucks too. Besides, remember dat time when that multi-headed dik woulda died if it wasun for mah expert healing? Yeah didun think so cuz no one ever thanks Kalin lemme tell ya...
*One hour later*
So in the end, I've been thinking a lot of deep thoughts lately. Reflekshuning about mah old man, and muh life...
And it hit me:
I ain't getting paid nearly enough for this shit! In fact - when did I *ever* get paid!? What I really need is a pinball machine in Kalin's Kool Vault, or at least some general arcadey stuff! Once that lazy ass Lizzurd starts haulin' in da woodsie for jennyrator ima play like a pro and get tons of joy! Gotta keep my gud eye open next time sum caravan comes around, bet I could approach it real sneaky and buy sum good stuff in exchange for smuggled goods and prime yehzah. Or I could just club em if they sum weakling faggets. Gotta plan diz gud.
First I was like, whuz da big deal? Just sum squishy bug-
Yeaaaaaaaaah....
Kuka-boy gettin recked was a downer. Despite being a sicko he was more bro than most. Some *coincidence* that cyclops gimp boy ran off on a "solo misshun" right after killing him, rite? WONG! Textbook planned hit if ya ask me, Cheetos getting rid of da enemies through proxy. Add to dat she shot Krivol boom headshot and it's clear as days to a trained pro space cop dat bitch be runnin wild purging folks. Blipblob should keep da ho on a leash, unless space veggie is tryin to take over by proxy too!?
By the way get a load of that greasy veggie, swaying and popping all smug and proud thinking itz sum hot shit just cuz it hauls around a haxxy 1MW Pulse Layzor all day long. Give me a fuckin space gun and I bet ah could fry up some schmucks too. Besides, remember dat time when that multi-headed dik woulda died if it wasun for mah expert healing? Yeah didun think so cuz no one ever thanks Kalin lemme tell ya...
*One hour later*
So in the end, I've been thinking a lot of deep thoughts lately. Reflekshuning about mah old man, and muh life...
And it hit me:
I ain't getting paid nearly enough for this shit! In fact - when did I *ever* get paid!? What I really need is a pinball machine in Kalin's Kool Vault, or at least some general arcadey stuff! Once that lazy ass Lizzurd starts haulin' in da woodsie for jennyrator ima play like a pro and get tons of joy! Gotta keep my gud eye open next time sum caravan comes around, bet I could approach it real sneaky and buy sum good stuff in exchange for smuggled goods and prime yehzah. Or I could just club em if they sum weakling faggets. Gotta plan diz gud.
Big brother! Now I got it! Thank you so much, you opened my eyes, you brought the truth. Now I see how evil Grimwulf. But what should we do? What if he finds out that we know his secrets? Maybe he will kill us? Noo! I don't want to die! Let's escape. Let me live in your Kool Kalin Kunker! I will be the most trustworthy person on the whole planet! Just let me survive! And I know about Shodan! Do you want to get to space, do you? She has a hidden spess ship, just let me in and I will show your the coordinates. Deal for a deal. Yeah? Bro? *sweets*
Dying vs scarabs? Well, you can make shields for melee and throwing spears for ranged. I mean instead of always relying on Blobra with lazor.
On good side - we have so much meat now, all potatoes can be used for vodka.
Speaking of which... So what exactly is the condition you mentioned earlier?
That's none of your concern. It doesn't affect my efficiency one bit.
I choose to make it my concern. Tell me.
We had a deal, Abigail. I don't bother you with questions about the Red Party, you don't pester me with questions about my condition.
I have to know if you're sick. It might be contagious.
... I am sick. It's not contagious. *ends the conversation by walking away*
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, don't rape me! PLEASE!!
I'm not here to rape you, psycho.
Huh..? Then why did you come?
To wash my face. *wipes his face with water from the bucket*
Well... If you change your mind...
MOM!
I've seen wolves more attractive than you.
*giggling-like pop-pop*
I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW MY PLACES HAVE MORE FUR THAN ANY WOLF YOU'VE SEEN!
Stop it already! It's embarrassing!
*about to leave*
Reinhardt?
*irritated* What?
Care to tell us anything about yourself?
No.
*guuuuuuurgle*
Shut it, Eldritch!
All we know about you is... Let's see... You hate Bliblablubb. And that's it. Kek.
That's all you need to know.
But how can we trust you? Who knows what... secrets you might hide?
*throws a heavy look at Lizzurd*
Kek?
*sigh* Fine. Ask your questions, but make it quick.
Sooooo, you learned to fight together with Cheetah?
No. Cheetah's father recruited me at young age, but I was already capable and ready for action. Military training. Long story.
Military? Why did you join the mafia then?
A job is a job. It paid better.
Hm. Weird.
Your face is weird.
Then why are you here? Surely you don't expect Grimwulf to pay you?
You know why I am here, Lizzurd!
*plays dumb* I don't, though.
*makes an effort to hold his anger at bay* I was looking for a... change of scenery. KKK is pretty.
Huer huer huer huer
KKK is... pretty? Seriously?
Yes. Are you done yet?
Psst. If you DO change your mind, I won't resist too much. *winks* Love me some pretty boy every now and then.
Merciful God, whatever miracle is holding my hand from gutting that woman head to toe, it's about to expire!
Oooh, feisty. Energetic. Brutal. Just like my own tongue. I like it.
MOM!! ENOUGH ALREADY!
I've told you everything, Lizzurd.
Everything?
Everything.
Very polite, aestethe, pretty and uncouth.
Fucking Randy.
*looks at the arbalest on the floor* He's not coming back, I presume?
You mean Boot? Kek. Fat chance.
Wise decision. *leaves the barracks*
Meanwhile.
The fuck are you doin'?
*keeps beating the megaspider into a squishy pulp* WHAT DUZ IT LUK LIKE?!
*hissing in agony*
I mean, why are you not mining, Kalin?
I AM mining, Grimtard! MINING THIS FOOOOKEN' BUG!!
In that case, MINE HARDER, damn you! I need yer pickaxe at the fridge!
Meanwhile.
How are the dogs?
Will live.
Good. That's good... *opens the door to the guest room*
Thank you for saving Slaughter.
Hopefully you will remember the gesture and return the favour once the opportunity arises.
You know I will.
Meanwhile.
*bashes the near-dead megaspider again and again* HAD ENUFF YET?! I DON'T THINK SO! *hears popping sounds nearby* NOT NOW, VEGGIE, YOU FUCK!! Can't you see I'm bus-- wait. *looks closer through the snow storm*
You ain't kommunistic veggie. *raises his club defensively*
*makes a deeper, darker gurgle compared to one Kalin is used to*
*SMASHES Megaspider's skull with one final blow* Welcome to KKK, new veggie. Behave yourself or suffer the same fate. *spits on Megaspider's corpse*
*all eye-tentacles looking at mutilated corpse*
*pshhhhhhhh* Ey, cutthroat bitch. We got guests here. Tentacled ones. Care to do your talking thing?
*pshh* Sure. Give me a minute.
A bit later.
Welcome.
*sharp popping sound*
I don't speak your language, but every sentient being can speak barter. So. Are you willing to trade?
Cheetah still suffers from recent bloodloss, which affected the prices slightly.
Her talking ability is at 95%.
We bought medicine, because we obviously need it. If anal candles were panacea for everything, Azira would be still alive.
Sold bows, junk weapons, some food. Decided to keep a few good pieces (FN P90 and UMP-45) in case a proper caravn arrives. Maybe we get lucky on ammo.
Wanted to buy candies for Bliblablubb, but then remembered how she left KKK fighting bugs with no lazor support. No candies for Blobra.
Can't afford another lazor, and even if we could - it's only usable by the Elder Things.
We shall not attempt to recruit this visitor. First, one Blobra is enough. Second, this Elder Thing travels alone. When you recruit a visitor, you get a heavy relations penalty with his/her faction. If you recruit the whole visiting group, this penalty is tripled (basically a declaration of war). KKK ain't ready for war with the Elder Things.
One hour later.
Sumthin' smelly about dat new veggie. Don't like him.
Why do you think it is a "he"? Whatever. He traded medicine for broth and junk.
Why would anyone pay for Krivol's broth??
*shrugs* Tortures, I suppose.
Killed anutha bug today. Should have seen it. Bashed it to deth like a total Thor.
*lazy applaud*
Jes doin' mah job.
*opens the door*
HESUS FUCKING SPACE KRIZTO!!
Hurgh?
YOUR FACE!
Are you talking to me or..?
IT SPEAKS!!! *grabs Krivol and throws her into the fridge, closing the door shut* Phew. The horros I have to deal with.
A bit later.
*gurgle*
Don't mind the corpses.
We had a rough day.
*watching Kalin and Cheetah as they eat*
*whispers to Kalin* Why is he travelling alone? Not a single human slave?
Beats me. But if he tries to mess with muh mind, I'll club him.
*puts a tentacle in Kalin's broth*
...
*swings the tentacle, making the bowl fly away*
Why, you FF--
Kalin, no.
*walks outside, face red with rage*
*observing Cheetah*
KKK is looking forward to establish trading partnership with your kind. I'm sure both sides will benefit from this arrangement.
*GURGLE*
Meanwhile.
Kommissar! Kommissar!
*power-walks towards the dining room*
We have guests! A beautiful creature, even more so than my son!
Gotta bury the Spanish guy.
*observing Grimwulf*
What are YOU lookin' at?
*weeping making a horrible sound of a dying whale* Oh, Luka-boy...
*grumbles to himself* If I bury him fast enough, maybe he will never return..?
Later that morning.
Oh. Hello?
*barking-like pop-pop*
Don't mind me. Also, pls don't enslave.
*disturbing gurgle*
Kek. Want me to bring you some of my mother's soup? Yes?
*examines Lizzurd*
No? No?
*all eye-tentacles focused on Lizzurd*
Yes?
Meanwhile.
Oh, come on.
What?
Cheetah asked you to give Luka-boy a proper burial. Like, with sarcophagus and crypt and stuff. In all honesty, the guy deserved that much!
He's buried all right.
How about a funeral at least? Some words? Anything?
He was Spanish, and now he's dead. What does it tell you, private Greenballs?
Hooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmm, all Spanish people will die at some point?
Exactly.
Meanwhile.
*crawls into the dining room*
Morning! Let me be the first to introduce you to our guest. Veggie, this is veggie. Veggie, meet veggie.
*gurgle*
*gurgle*
*gurgle*
*gurgle*
*gurgle*
*gurgle*
*sigh* You are all the same...
*GURGLE*
I meant it as a compliment! Kek. Don't laser me?
Meanwhile.
Awright. What is my next step?
You know exactly what to do. *opens another bottle of ghost vodka*
Dat's right. Gotta build me a brewing station.
A proper distillery requires barrels too.
Distillery..? BARRELS?! GRIMWULF, GET A DAMN GRIP! The Kolony is defenseless, completely defenseless! Not to mention we have NO POWER! No power and no turrets make Servant do things. BAD THINGS.
Hmrpf... Three barrels or four?
Four. Most definitely four.
Wh-- WHAT AILS YOU?!
One hour later.
Kalin. Hey.
If it isn't mah FETCHING LIZARD BOY! Wassup?
Nothing much. You know--
Wai-wai-wait, dig this: so I'm gonna become a SPACE WITCHER soon, rite?
Riiiight...
And you're like lizard and shit.
..?
You'll be like MAH FAMILIAR. Geddit? A witcher and his familiar?
... Witches have familiars. Not witchers.
Are you callin' me a witch, bitch?
No, I-- *sigh* Kalin, let's give a bunker key to Reinhardt.
Whu?
I think he should have access. He can live in the treasury, become your personal treasure master! Reinhardt can be trusted.
Someone bashed yer head, Lizzurd? *makes a long pause* Was it me?
The treasury must have double doors. Stone doors. Just sayin'.
You barely even know that fagget detective!
Just think about it, okay? I should go.
Why do you need that book?
Decided to get rid of it.
Mah boy! Burn it, drown it, rip it apart! Books will do you no good - that's what my father used to say.
Will do!
*eye-tentacles are fixated on the Grimoire*
*mumbles incoherently* This flesh hungers...
HALT!
Kommissar?
A true kommunist would NEVER lay his hand on a BOOK. Explain yourself.
Thought you needed more space in the fridge?
Hmrpf. Fine. Move along.
Lizzurd sure looks tasty. *smacks lips*
*hic* What if we - theoretically - tried to DISTIL LIZZURD?
Waste of working flesh. And what if-- Grimwulf, would you leave that house be?
Luka-boy wanted this house finished.
That's the whole point! He's DEAD!
Yes. Don't you get it, Servant?
Honoring dead man's last will? No! Because I believe in RESPAWN!
It's not about last wish, it's about the Curse!
Aaaaahh, I see. Those who selfishly wish something better for themselves are doomed.
The Curse of Kapitalism. Whoever lives in that house will DIE.
Luka-boy suffered a horrible death. His body... blegh.
And thus they will all live in barracks, just to be safe. Smart.
*pshhhhh* Grimwulf. The blueprints are ready - you can build batteries now.
*pshhhhhh* Farkin' finally. Now gib me solar panels!
On it. You are welcome, by the way. Over and out,
*pshhhhhhhhhh* YER FOOOKIN' FRIDGE IS REHDY TOO, asshole. Now vast as your own greed.
Just in time. I need you to cut a chunk of a mountain, Kalin.
You wot?
Gotta set up some wind turbines. They require space. I need you or Luka-boy to work those pickaxes and make some fucking space.
Luka-boy is dead!
See, that leaves you. Almost figured it out by yourself - you should be proud, Kalin. Over and out.
Want me to clean your room, Kommissar?
Do it. Chop-chop.
*enters Grimwulf's bedroom and closes the door behind*
*rummages through Cheetah's private stuff and finds a fuckton of to-do-lists* Why on earth does she write all this..?
1. Grimwulf - Demand to bury Luka-boy in a sarcophagus.
2. Grimwulf - Demand to solve ammo shortage problem.
3. Reinhardt - Express gratitude for saving Slaughter.
*the list goes on, but the weird stuff is written at the bottom*
74. Grimwulf proposed marriage. Agreed.
75. Boot is gone. Tried to stop. Failed.
76. Asked Grimwulf about hobby. Probably twice. Not sure.
77. Cheetah. Not Cheater.
78. Mind-controlled by Bimbo. Currently working on that. *and so on*
*this is written on almost every to-do-lists, exact same things*
How peculiar... Shit, now I'll have to actually clean this room.
I NEED MORE PEOPLE HERE, DAMMIT! KKK's progress is too slow. WAY too slow!
Krivol has an infection or some shit - can't get up from bed, dat useless female.
Rathide is out too. Or maybe just lazy. Probably lazy.
AM I THE ONLY HUMAN HERE WHO CAN KEEP HIS LIMBS FOCUSED ON THE TASK?
Later that day.
EEEEEEEK *jumps as he notices one of the bugs is still alive*
*rushes to grab branding iron*
*pokes the bug, screaming all the way*
Kek. I am a warrior now. Great slayer of monsters, yes? No. Probably no.
Mom survived the infection. Bad good news.
Means more soup is coming. HURRA God help us all.
Kommissar is cruel bastard. Dislike. Would not friend again.
Talked to Kalin about Reinhardt. Maybe I should tell them all his secret? No. But that puts me in great danger! Hmmm.
If Kalin doesn't mine a secure double-door room in about four days from now, we're all fucked.
Mah Kapitalist Bunker will GIT HIGH-POWERED soon. Just need a tunnel leading to phat trees.
Will be a shitty tunnel. Geddit? Coz it's coming from da toilet? Heh heh heh, oh wait - nobody reads this but me. Shit.
Lizzurd keeps talking trash about granting access to Reinhardt. I'd sooner grant my ass to Space Satan.
Altho, gotta admit - it's high time I start building ma tresury.
Will get larger and larger with time. But it's a start.
Later that evening.
The project's looking good. We are finally getting somewhere.
Don't really need wind turbines right here, but for the lack of better safe place, it will do. A temporary solution before we start building a proper power station.
What do you think about battery placement? I say put them inside the greenhouse.
Hrmpf. Why not.
Someone should haul dead goats, bugs and deers to the fridge.
Let dem dogs spill some sweat for the food and medicine I provide.
They spilled blood, Grim. Lots of blood.
Doesn't count.
Hommmm, you don't appreciate those who fight and die for you...
Not true. I appreciate they die.
ANYWAY, shouldn't you build a brewery first, and bother with turbines later?
Harvest season is coming soon enough. Until then, no point in having a brewery.
Aaaaand done. Mighty fine job if I dare say so meself.
It's decent.
Later that night.
*gurgles at Grimwulf*
Don't worry, stranger. Here in KKK we give a damn about one vegetable and one vegetable only - potato. Are you a potato?
*uncertain pop-pop*
Then we're not going to make vodka out of you.
*GURGLE*
MAKE YOUR KEY CHOICE
Collective voting
Current agenda: The Cursed House
Who will live in the house that brings death?
1. Kalin. He is a citizen, after all.
2. Lizzurd. He is cursed already.
3. Krivol. It's for her own damn good.
4. Reinhardt. He loves beautiful things.
We don't vote for Grimwulf and Cheetah for obvious reasons.
We don't vote for Boot, coz he's not coming back.
We don't vote for Bliblablubb, coz she needs a much bigger room for massive Elder Thing furniture.
Personal voting
Kalin, are you willing to grant bunker access to Reinhardt?
A few things you should consider before making that call.
Reinhardt decided to let his inner beast go wild. As soon as next full moon comes, there will be blood. One of the following scenarios will inevitably unfold:
- the wolf will murder entire KKK;
- Bimbo will lazor the wolf to death;
- the wolf will let it out in enclosed double-door safe space.
Now, despite yer FABULOUS melee skills, you can't beat the wolf in melee without silver weapons. And even if you find one, fat chance you can pull this out on your own. Running away will prove extremely difficult - the wolf is much faster than you.
So what will it be?
Lizzurd, recent events made you think a lot. Perhaps the time has come to make a step further?
1. POWER. Build forbidden research center and study the Grimoire. You will have it. You will have it all.
2. FREEDOM. Deconstruct the Monolith. Restore contact with Shodan. Follow her instructions and you will make it out of this planet. One day.
3. KALIN. Yes, Kalin. Just follow his lead. It's all right. Everything is fine.
Reinhardt, in case Kalin refuses to grant you bunker access, it's still not too late to change your mind about full moon transformations.
Yes, if you transform and SURVIVE the night - you might "level up" your wolf form, maybe even get a new one. But "survive" is the key problem here. People will die. You might die. Are you ready to take that risk?
The marriage event will occur randomly. Might happen tomorrow, might take a year from now. So where do we place marriage spot (the event and following PARTY will play out around this spot)
1. Kommissar's mansion.
2. KKK's Dining Room.
3. KKK's Workshop.
4. Grimlin. Would be funny if it it won't be finished by then, but oh well.
Bliblablubb, As usual, you are free to mind-control, mind-adjust, or set free any colonist, except just a few:
- Grimwulf (has too many personas, constantly shifting and changing);
- Reinhardt (says he was trained to resist mind control - attempting this will require a dice throw, with possible backlash effects);
- Boot (too far away by now)
Cursed my ass, that house is mine by lawful rite! Besides, if I don't claim it people will suspect I'm hidin something. Gotta play this smarts.
As for lettin "pretty boy" into mah vault, ya think I'd just forget he tuk MY halberd? Buddy crossed one heck of a line. Well hey, I ain't small minded tho. Since he loves taking stuff so much ima do him one solid and let him take a FUCKIN HIKE! Heheh, geddit? So yah dat thing had sentimentul value, wuz gonna hang it over mah fireplace next to da drink cabinet in muh classy gentileman longue behind da pinball palace, but oooh no, had to get taffered by the stinkin freeloadin cunt, littul prick shows *NO* respect lemme tell ya... *rants on*