This Markland guy is a carnival barker lmao
"STEP right up ladies and gentlemen, DON'T be shy, I stumbled drunk into my old VHS cabinet in the living room closet last year and then it HIT ME! Hit me RIGHT on the head, yes sir, my old Apocalypse Now videocassette hit me RIGHT on the noggin, and RIGHT THEN I knew I'd found the perfect IP to milk for crowdbux!
"STEP right on up and see the NOSTALGIA, just two bits, two measly bits for a handshake from me, twenty bits to get in and SEE the NOSTALGIA! Twenty bits, or if you're up (and when you're up, you're UP), if you're a high roller, a hundred bits gets you a behind-the-ropes extra-long look at the nostalgia, and a plaque on the tent wall that'll travel with the Dingdong Bros. Carnival everywhere!
"Step RIGHT up! Step on up and be a part of the energy of Apocalypse Now! Step right on up here, you'll feel like you're watching wacky young Laurence Fishburne groove and talk jive! You'll feel as though your hands are squeezing a pair of delicate, aristocratic French titties! You'll smell smoking gookflesh, and you'll roast in the humid tropical heat!
"Anyone? Anyone...? Well, uh... uh... OH, MY GOD! A onetime acquaintance of the man who directed this decades-old moviefilm diddled a little boy thirty years ago, but Mr. Coppola won't go on record and personally involve himself in the shitstorm! Sorry folks, but solely for this reason and for no others, the show is over. NO REFUNDS!"