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Kodex Kommunistic Kolony in Rimworld, Seasons 2, 3

Andnjord

Arcane
Joined
Aug 22, 2012
Messages
3,077
Location
The Eye of Terror
As an added argument for housing, houses make for great defensive bunkers, especially later on with automatic doors. In fact, one of my colony's defenses was entirely made up of houses with multiple doors for criss-crossing angles.
 

Luka-boy

Arcane
Joined
Sep 24, 2014
Messages
1,640
Location
Asspain
Improve the workshops. Industry is Kommunistik as fuck. And Kolonists should be able to work outdoors for a longer time before dying of starvation and shitty conditions anyway needing to return to a warmer place.

Sharing a single apartment block is also pretty rad red, so fuck building new houses.

Defenses... eh, it seems bad stuff happens when you prioritize them, so if you have time and resources to spare buid a wall.
 

Grimwulf

Arcane
Patron
Vatnik
Joined
Oct 1, 2014
Messages
4,045
Location
Kodex Kommunistic Kastle
Also, I'm constantly seeing the "Major Break Risk" flashing. Murderous rampage when?

The general mood is more or less okay, no major stress factors are present. Yet.

No rotting corpses lying around, no colonists died in Season 3, no nuthin'. The most dramatic thing happening in KKK right now is Kalin being lazy.

If I remember the mechanics correctly, the first raid is always a single guy, no?

No. Raid difficulty is based on colony wealth. The richer we get - the more attention we draw. Attackers come in larger numbers and properly equipped.

As of right now, we ain't anywhere near prosperous.

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There is a certain random factor, of course. We might get rekd by an overwhelming force even though we're poor.
 
Unwanted

Kalin

Unwanted
Dumbfuck Zionist Agent
Joined
Sep 29, 2010
Messages
1,868,264
Location
Al Scandiya
Grimwulf said:
1.2. Private houses, because COME ON! Cheetah wants to sleep with Grimwulf (the horror), Bliblablubb needs more space for ACTUAL ELDER THING BED-CHAMER, and even Lizzurd needs his private place to weep and be miserable.

Oh yeah, because it's not like there's someone else at the top of that waiting list, rite? RITE!?

I swear, sloppy Soviet plebs had a higher chance to get THIS than I have of gettin my own place.

Well not for long. I've got a cunning plan.

Just gotta wait for winter to pass, cuz leavin dat steamy gayzor rite now sounds like suicide.

Grimwulf said:
You can boss Lizzurd around, but he's kinda useless right now. Maybe later, when we set up a proper workshop, you can order new clothes, weapons and other goodies for yourself. However, if you got anything particular in mind - go ahead. Being your apprentice, he will do what you say.

Heheh, I had all kinds of ideas, but then it hit me, this is classic establushmint trick to divide the plebs.

Since ima social person and Lizzurd seems like a trustworthy guy, I wanna try to buddy up first.

In fact, I was thinking maybe he can be like Brett and back me up on important issues in da kolony.
 
Joined
Mar 16, 2016
Messages
450
Nope, wtf are you thinking...

1. Make quarantine (prison) for new comers (it's almost new moon). And put Lizzurd in here
2. Secure food
3. Start researching machining
4. Workshops
5. Security
6. Houses for members of politburo
 

Grimwulf

Arcane
Patron
Vatnik
Joined
Oct 1, 2014
Messages
4,045
Location
Kodex Kommunistic Kastle
Oh yeah, because it's not like there's someone else at the top of that waiting list, rite? RITE!?

Sorta forgot about you. :lol:

1. Make quarantine (prison) for new comers (it's almost new moon). And put Lizzurd in here

Workshop will be temporary prison. Plenty of space, and prisoners can work there too.

2. Secure food

Err, it is secure? We got fridge.

I forgot to tell Blimbo to haul dead animals there, but still.


3. Start researching machining

How am I supposed to do that? We are not anywhere near machining. Not to mention we got no power.

Research priorities will be decided by voting, as usual.

4. Workshops
5. Security
6. Houses for members of politburo

Yer voice has been heard. Schizophrenia is fun, men!
 
Last edited:

Bliblablubb

Arcane
Joined
Mar 1, 2014
Messages
2,925
Location
Copium Den
Oh yeah, because it's not like there's someone else at the top of that waiting list, rite? RITE!?

Sorta forgot about you. :lol:

If I were Kalinski I would seriously start to worry now. He wants to release the axecrazy womyn who is out to kill you AND you are not part of the glorious 5-years-plan anymore. I would say "nice knowing you", but it seems I care more about dying foxes than you. :salute:


Btw: can I wear an ushanka? I want one. Make it a priority. Mod it in if need be! :argh:
 

Kalarion

Serial Ratist
Patron
Joined
Jan 30, 2015
Messages
1,008
Location
San Antonio, TX
Strap Yourselves In Codex Year of the Donut Shadorwun: Hong Kong BattleTech Steve gets a Kidney but I don't even get a tag. Pathfinder: Wrath I helped put crap in Monomyth
My vote is on housing. We saw the disastrous results of bad housing from season 1.

Just make sure that Grimwulf makes regular rounds through Kalin's house at odd hours throughout the day and night. Kalin's sleep is overvalued.
 

Bliblablubb

Arcane
Joined
Mar 1, 2014
Messages
2,925
Location
Copium Den
ONE bottle of Kommujuice
Aside from the fact that the vodka is MINE, and the contents are only handed out as vodka flavored icycles to people who worked hard, we seriously need to stock up when the next trader comes. Not enough for 3 people (Lizrrd hasn't earned the right yet) to last long.

Real prosperity of a KKKolony is measured by the amount of potatojuice available. :salute:
 

Grimwulf

Arcane
Patron
Vatnik
Joined
Oct 1, 2014
Messages
4,045
Location
Kodex Kommunistic Kastle
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*swallows Grimwulf's borsch with disgust*

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*sneaks outside*

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Ke ke ke ke *creepy chuckle*

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HEY!

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Oh, shi--

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Where do u think you're goin'?

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Umm, hauling stuff to the base..?

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Hmm? It's 4 AM.

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What can I say? I love my job. From each according to his abilities, right?

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My. Son. *almost drops a tear* Git out before I hug you to death.

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Kek.

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No, literally. I want to kill you for some reason - GET OUTTA MY SIGHT!

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*runs away*

DAY 5

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*mumbles* That's the place.

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Volcano... River... Monolith landmark... This is it.

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*places a small beacon-like object under a tree*

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*murmurs something like a prayer(?)* Shepard me from the darkness. For my flesh... is an insult... to the perfection... of the di--

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*psshhhh* Where is MAH FAKIN' ERRAND BOY?!

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*pshhh psh psh* Hauling marble blocks to the base! Kommissar's orders!

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*psshhhh* Aye, I could order something like that, methinks.

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How DARE you give orders to MY subordinates?

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I'm the Kommissar - THAT's how! Mornin', Cheetah.

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Morning. *walks away*

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You realize you'll have to talk to her and sort this out, rite?

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I hafta sort out the fox first. Furs for clothing, meat for borsch.

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Out of my way, Kalin.

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*spits on the ground and moves aside*

A bit later.

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Any cool stories? Anecdotes? Anyone?

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The teacher asks Vladimir: - Let's imagine that you've got $200. Then you give $50 to Svetlana, $50 to Olga and $50 to Natasha. What do you have now? - Well.. an orgy?

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Muh huh huh huh

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It's old. *sigh* I'm bored.

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*opens a bottle of ghost vodka* Cheers.

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You gotta be shittin' me...

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Did you really think DEATH would stop me from drinkin'? Pfff *drinks up*

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HOW?

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Ooofff, strong stuff. I'm a spirit, Grim. Spirit distilling spirits. One might even say that I'm... SPIRITUAL :yeah:

Meanwhile.

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Wanna know how I lost mah eye?

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A deer took it?

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A DIER TUK IT! Wait, how did you know?

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You talk while sleeping.

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... Have I mentioned any...

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Let's just say I have more information regarding you than I ever cared to obtain. *shivers*

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HA! Playin' LADY-IN-DISTRESS on me, aren't you? Still not gonna give ye my cloak.

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I prefer to warm myself by killing those who annoy me. By the way, you annoy me.

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Cold bitch.

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Later that morning.

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Here goes nothing...

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Oh, Gods... Space Gods... yyyuuurgh... BLEGH! GRIMWUUUUUUUULF!!!

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Ahhh, sweet sounds of Kommunism.

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We need more borsch.

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*hic* Make it 80% borsch, 20% vodka. A broth that fills your belly AND your soul.

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Bu-but, everyone will be constantly drunk!

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Naaaah, a few shots of vodka only makes you more vigilant.

Later that morning.

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*tastes Grimwulf's borsch*

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Is it gud? Made this batch extra salty, just for you.

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It's horrible. I love it. *consumes with appetite*

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Does she speak of that foul broth or Grimwulf?

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Probably both.

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*finishes gutting the wolf* Awright, I'm done here.

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Hey.

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Mm?

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Make it less salty next time. *barely noticeable smile*

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*nods*

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Kommissar. Cheetah.

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Lizzurd. You woke up early today.

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Can't sleep knowing there is work to be done. Your suspicion is uncalled-for. Can't we just be friends?

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Do I look like a stupid muffalo?

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*grins* You look like a smart cheetah.

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Whatever goal you are trying to accomplish, I won't let you. Cheetah is the fastest animal known to mankind. I will always be ahead of you, Lizzurd. *leaves the barracks*

One hour later.

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*murmurs to himself* She knows... Need more schemes... Need more obscurity... Yes. No..? No. Hmm... Glitching. Ke ke. *suffers a meltdown* SHE KNOWSSSSsss!

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Hommmm, did you hear somthng?

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Nope.

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Probably Kalin praising my glorious leadership again.

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You never listen to me, Kommissar Grim Wolf. Just like that time you sent me and Gregory Slavmen on a scouting mission back in the old KKK. NONE OF US WAS EVEN CAPABLE OF FIGHTING!

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Not this nonsense again.

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I'm telling you Gregory Slavmen was Dreaad in disguise! I heard him laughing the same weird retarded way as Dreaad!

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Dreaad died in Gulag. Greg was killed during Red Party ambush. For the last time, Ryan - enough!

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Stone hearth - done. No thanks to you, annoying assholes.

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I fell behind Slavmen during that souting mission - thought I was a dead man. Eventually I caught up, though.

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So thrilling. Even when you listen to this for the 68th time.

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I sort of hate you mildly. *sigh* You know what's really weird? Ever since that scouting mission Gregory Slavmen never laughed...

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*psh psshhh* Anyone seen Lizzurd? Where is dat fucker?

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*psshhh* No idea.

Later that day.

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Beir and votka do not work togez-- *hic* OH, FUCK!

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*confused gurgle*

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Thought you wr-- wore-- WAR a monster, ke ke.

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*offended popping*

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*walks in zigzags towards vodka*

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*GURGLE GURGLE GURGLE, followed by maddened tentacle swinging*

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AAAAAAAAaaaaa!!!

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*warning pop-pop*

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I d-donnnt intend to dr-- dirk. Drown? DRIVE your vodka. Lurk at me! *grabs the bottle*

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*guuuuuuuuuuurgle*

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Ssssee? I protect ur bottul. Safer *hic* with meh.

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*calmed down popping*

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Why ar yu hero, tho? Her. He-he-here?

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*poppin' something about something*

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Yessss. You go. Becum hero of the pepul. Me - stays to protekt vodka.

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*gurgle*

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*GURGLE*

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She's gong. FINALE! *drinks the whole fucking bottle in one go*

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Ro ro ro... ro DAH!!

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MO-HOH?! Weird noises again!

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You wanna tell me something, Brock Badbunny?

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*licks her head-tentacle with her mouth-tentacle*

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What's that supposed to mean..?

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Uroboros. Kommunism will be our salvation and downfall.

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Hommm, maybe she thinks you should wash more often?

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I think she told you to suck your own dick, Grim.

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*SHRIIIEEEK*

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Whatever. *enters the fridge and grabs a beer* Good times.

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Where is vodka, Grim?

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Hrm? Why-- wh-- motherf... FFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!! :rage: *echoes throughout the area*

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Was that Grimwulf?

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Yeah. Probably readin' Ayn Rand again.

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Fuck Grimwulf. Where is mah lizard poolboy? I will seriously fuck him up if he's trying to avoid me or something.

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Hours later.

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Good dog. *pets Azira*

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*happy woof*

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HEY! No sissy stuff in my Kolony!

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Azira contributes more than Kalin and Lizzurd combined.

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Indeed. *drinks another shot of ghost vodka*

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I CAN HEAR YOU, BITCH!

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I know.

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*gurgling and flapping wings wildly*

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Is that... a dead rat?

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*affirmative pop-pop*

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Another threat to KKK has been dealt with, huh?

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*GURGLE*

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Do you see what I'm talking about, Grim? Azira is the only one here, who has any common sense left anymore

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Hrmpf.

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Marry her.

One hour later.

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LIZZUUUUUUUUUUUURD!! Come out, you piece of shit! I've made a FACE STYLIN' BENCH for ya!

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Now you can make yer hair NOT PINK! Where is this goddamn bastard?

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*barfs, coughs* Ke ke ke. *burrrrp* Ohmafffuckin, oooooh *drinks another one*

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*tries to sing* Daine kruse macht mein klyain du da shmacht beshtraffe--

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*throws himself towards the exit*

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*opens the door* You. Fuck.

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*holds his breath*

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WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?! ANSWER ME!

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*still holding his breath, face turning red*

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I will crowbar my way into that mouth if needed be. SPIT IT OUT!!!

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*engorges something between a word and a burp* Brrrrrroooooo

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I ain't you BRO, buttplug! Stand right here until my return. I need beer URGENTLY! Lots of beer. Had a rough day.

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*nods and moans*

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*opens the door* Whu--

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Half of-- son of a... MUH BEER!!! FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU :rage:

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*tries to escape the barracks, but RAMS Grimwulf instead*

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Watch it, blind-ass scalemonger!

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*mumbles* Exc-- *hic* exclude meh.

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*goes inside, swearing*

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Homm. Kommissar Grim Wolf?

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Aye?

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Why are you making a tailoring station?

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Who knows the difference between KKK and your regular colony of communists? Anyone?

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KKK sports a giant lazor-shootin' vegetable.

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We have no brewery, and we must drink.

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Our Kommissar is insane?

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Wrong, wrong, wrong. We are building Kommunism AND lookin' gud while at it.

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*pshhhh* Kalin! Cheetah needs an ushanka - make it happen naw!

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*psshhhh* FUCK YOU! First you drink ALL MAH BEER, and now you're bossing me around?!

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I didn't touch your beer, eyefucker! YOU, on the other hand, ANNIHILATED our special-occasion-vodka!

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WHAT?! VODKA'S GONE TOO?!

Later that evening.


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Who could have done that?

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Aren't you supposed to be the investigator of KKK?

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I bet my moustache on Cheetah.

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She's tough, but not that kind of tough. A whole bottle of vodka and, what was it, FIVE bottles of beer??

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It couldn't be that sissy punk Lizzurd.

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Not Lizzurd. Bibi?

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Could be. Could be.

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Hmmm...

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*the door opens and Lizzurd FALLS into the room* Herro...

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Told ya. This idiot can't even stand on his feet for too long - no chance he could drink that much.

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Lizzurd?

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*hic* Konductor?

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You hair is still pink.

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Oh.

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Have some goddamn decency.

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Ok. *goes away to dye his hair in something more appropriate*

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Later that night.


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Are you going bed yet?

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Gotta finish the workshop.

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Right. *walks around the workshop for some time* I want you to know something.

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What is it?

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We are going to have a lot of disagreements, Grim.

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Hrmpf. Figured that out already.

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But in the end, I'm with you. Even though you are a stubborn oaf.

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... Good to know.

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*hugs Grimwulf*

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You'll spoil my focus, woman.

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*smiles* Good night, Kommissar.

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Women are trouble. My father used to say that a lot.

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She's playing with your feelings, Kommissar Grim Wolf.

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What feelings? Lust for labor? Intense cravings for alcohol?

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Shuddup, all of you!

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Kalin should make a proper investigation tomorrow. Vodka thiefs WILL NOT BE TOLERATED!

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Who could have commited such a horrible crime..?

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It can wait 'til tomorrow. Workshop DONE!!

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Can't believe I'm about to say that, but KKK looks... PROMISING.

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Last edited:

Grimwulf

Arcane
Patron
Vatnik
Joined
Oct 1, 2014
Messages
4,045
Location
Kodex Kommunistic Kastle
yct9ohx.jpg
Before we proceed to suffer in KKK, I hereby declare an INVESTIGASHUN to begin. We can't rest until we find the alcohol thief!

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Right.

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*grumbles* Go interrogate Lizzurd first. I'm sleeping.

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You heard the Kommissar.

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*follows Kalin to the fridge*

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Now. Where were you the entire day?

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Protecting vodka. Veggie-thing can confirm!

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You've done a shitty job. *steps into vomit* THE FUCK IS THAT?!

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Someone threw up, apparently. See, that wasn't me! I never throw up! Look! *consumes Grimwulf's borsch, trying hard to maintain a happy face*

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THEN WHO DID THAT?!

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I saw someone. Or... something.

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A stranger came in, barfed on the floor, took our alcohol, and left.

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What a sorry excuse of a statement.

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It's true! I swear!

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Why didn't you try to stop the intruder?

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I was hiding under that dead muffalo.

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Give me one reason to spare your balls from mah halberd.

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I think I know who it was. Psst. *whispers* Cheetah's man.

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Eh?

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She's hiding a dirty secret. Do you know what kind of person she really is?

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Criminal overlord robbin' and murderin' people blind? Yah. I know.

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I bet her companions will come and take over this place eventually. Maybe they are already lurking nearby. As I was approaching KKK, I had this distinct feeling someone is watching me...

yct9ohx.jpg
Is that so..? *grabs a beer*

iKZdtuq.png
Something to reflect upon. Can I go to work now?

yct9ohx.jpg
Yeh, yeh - drag your skinny ass outta here. *drinks*

BB3YaSq.jpg

yct9ohx.jpg
*mumbles* That fucking bitch. *opens another bottle*

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Lizzurd. I got a task for ya. An importan' one.

5f6zk8J.jpg

iKZdtuq.png
Right. We're partners! We should come up with a name for our team! Three Eyes of Justice - how's that?

yct9ohx.jpg
ONE DICK OF KALIN sounds more appropriate. Anyway, I need you to stalk Cheetah for a bit. Tell me if you see anything suspicious.

iKZdtuq.png
Roger that!

Two hours later.

iKZdtuq.png
*sneaking behind Cheetah like a master ninja*

61fcdxZ.png
Are you spying on me, Lizzurd?

qPqUYIl.jpg

iKZdtuq.png
WHAT-- no! Just looking for a stone chunk to cut. Oh, there it is!

61fcdxZ.png
...

j39EYqR.jpg

iKZdtuq.png
Ke ke ke ke... *murmurs* nezameten!

61fcdxZ.png
That does it. *drops the logs and draws her knife*

iKZdtuq.png
YOU CAN'T HURT ME!

61fcdxZ.png
Hurt you? Why would I do that? It came to my attention your neck needs shaving. *approaches Lizzurd*

iKZdtuq.png
*gulp*

61fcdxZ.png
A neckbeard is so undignified, don't you think? Hold still. Otherwise I might accidentally slit your throat.

iKZdtuq.png
*runs away* KAAAAAAALIN!

UiC5Jgp.jpg

yct9ohx.jpg
What did ya find out?

iKZdtuq.png
She's hiding something!

yct9ohx.jpg
I KNEW IT!

3gbnMI0.jpg

61fcdxZ.png
Wake up, sleepyheads.

EnlwBOQ.png
*snoring and swearing mildly* Off with you, woman! *yawn*

7BAc3b7.png
*bubbles*

61fcdxZ.png
*enters the fridge and steps into puddle of vomit* Shit!

9oXqNH2.jpg

Meanwhile.

yct9ohx.jpg
Done with that stupid-ass ushanka.

iKZdtuq.png
It doesn't look like ushanka to me.

SuxVgh9.jpg

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*spits* Still more than she deserves.

iKZdtuq.png
Riiiight.

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Later that morning.

EnlwBOQ.png
AHA! Caught you on crime scene!

CmfQPvw.jpg

EnlwBOQ.png
Eating thru KKK's borsch while slacking from work!

61fcdxZ.png
Guilty as charged.

EnlwBOQ.png
U'r not a pro criminal, you know that?

61fcdxZ.png
I'm considering a change of career. Come here, my fearsome bear.

godc18w.jpg

EnlwBOQ.png
No huggin'.

61fcdxZ.png
*chuckles* What's our next step?

EnlwBOQ.png
Let's see... I am the only builder around, and apparenty the only one who can cook.

61fcdxZ.png
I would argue on second statement. This *lifts her plate* isn't cooking.

EnlwBOQ.png
Modern wymin. No manners. No respect.

GfB77YB.jpg

EnlwBOQ.png
In any case, I'll have to stick to the kitchen for now. Once we have enough edible substances stored, we can discuss further building projects.

61fcdxZ.png
Why don't you let me do the planning and research? We need to focus on power generators. How long are you going to live a medieval bum's life?

EnlwBOQ.png
As long as it takes!

TjD5c7H.jpg

61fcdxZ.png
This is going nowhere. Look. I can back you up, Grim. Become your Deputy.

EnlwBOQ.png
I'm in charge here, Cheetah! I need no help being the Kommissar!

61fcdxZ.png
Suit yourself. *opens a beer*

3eUIY16.jpg

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Bimbo is still messing with my mind.

EnlwBOQ.png
Yes, but she's doing it gently.

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You promised me.

EnlwBOQ.png
What do you want me to do? Make a vegetable salad out of her? I'm not that good of a cook!

61fcdxZ.png
There must be a way.

EnlwBOQ.png
Yes, it involves ice cream and vodka. Do you see vodka around? I certainly don't.

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Fine. I won't beg you. *puts on a cold expression* But I will remember this.

6lJv4zj.jpg

A bit later.

61fcdxZ.png
Morning.

yct9ohx.jpg
Don't sneak on me like that!

B5k6DYn.jpg

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How's your new apprentice doing? Is he obedient enough?

yct9ohx.jpg
No such thing as "obedient enough".

cHewsjm.jpg

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Who's running your organization while you're here?

61fcdxZ.png
That's an intimate question.

yct9ohx.jpg
Where is the guarantee they won't come lookin' for you?

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They won't.

yct9ohx.jpg
NOT GUD ENUFF!

61fcdxZ.png
Take it or leave it. I'm on your side, believe it or not. Considering KKK's current state, you should praise whatever gods you worship for sending you an ally such as me.

yct9ohx.jpg
... Made ye a warm hat. Go get it.

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You made me a hat..?

yct9ohx.jpg
Grimwulf's request. Wouldn't bother otherwise.

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*smiles and walks away*

DNWMCYx.jpg

A bit later.


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*whispers to herself* Warm.

FgZO4Am.jpg

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*utters even more silently* Thank you.

Lizzurd's doing a tolerable job cutting me stone blocks. A comforting sight for a sore eye.

iZoXpoA.jpg


Rambo Veggie is mostly hunting small game, coz all the big one is annihilated. Now Grimdeer will think twice before sending his hordes our way.

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Kalin seems to be content with Lizzurd, surprisingly. No major drama broke out between them. Yet.

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The food situation is worrisome. We might run out of meat. Small game alone won't cut it.

Still got dat phat muffalo to butcher.

h264cYg.jpg

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*GURGLE*

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Brought me a SQUIRREL, didn't you? Good plant!

cvKOvBs.jpg

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*joyful pop-pop*

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See, that's why I am not a vegetarian. PLANTS LIVES MATTER, amirite?

7BAc3b7.png
*popping and drooling from mouth tentacles*

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Go forth, my glorious aubergine. Eliminate each and every threat to KKK!

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*SHRIEK*

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More meat. More broth. *grabs the last beer*

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Meanwhile.

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Appreciate the hat.

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Yeah, yeah.

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Look at me beating my own record on stonecutting per day!

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Psst. Kalin. Watch yourself around Cheetah.

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You said something?

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N-nothing!

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Make yourself useful somewhere else, Lizzurd! I want to have words with Snow Queen in private.

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B-but what should I do?

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Whatever you want, schmuck.

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I want new fancy clothes!

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Great. Do it.

iKZdtuq.png
W-we don't have enough furs and leather...

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yct9ohx.jpg
GET OUT!!!

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What's with the screamin'?

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Fashion Lizzurd suffers because of leather shortage.

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Hrm? There is plenty of leather in the fridge. It's just different kinds of leather.

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EXACTLY! :negative:

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Why don't you blend it?

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Blend... leather?

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OF COURSE!

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Atta boy. Go make yo mama proud! Chop-chop!

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Later that day.

61fcdxZ.png
Well? You wanted to talk or just stare at me like a one-eyed schoolboy?

yct9ohx.jpg
Such a fucking pleasure chattin' with you. Bitch.

u0Qxgv2.jpg

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Is it about your vodka investigation?

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No. Isn't it obvious who did it? Nobody could ever drink that much, except Grimwulf. However, while interrogating Lizzurd for teh lulz, I came to a curious conclusion.

61fcdxZ.png
Which is..?

lwYkRhK.jpg

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You do not travel alone, do you?

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Normally I take several bodyguards along. Marvelous conclusion, Kalin.

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Wait for the fucking punchline! I'm fairly confident there is a man watching over you, and he is not your bodyguard either. I bet he is your father's man.

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My father's man wouldn't simply watch. You don't know my father.

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Then explain me this. Back when we were searching for Grimwulf, someone was following us. I know it, you know it, even the dogs could feel his presence. I caught a glimpse of a weird-ass figure when we were chillin' at Croc's bar. Thought it was Grimwulf at first, now I know it wasn't. There is more. Do you remember what you said when I released you from Zeppy's camp?

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Not really.

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"It isn't safe here. Zeppy and her alcoholic warband is one thing, but... Let's just go."

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... Some memory you have.

yct9ohx.jpg
Now that I know you, I know you're not of the wussy-pussy type. Care to explain?

oc2KuDd.jpg

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What does it matter now?

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Lizzurd said he felt someone watching him when he came close enough to KKK.

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... Shit.

Meanwhile.


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*SHRIIIIIIIIIIEK*

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What is wrong with you?

OhBtWH9.jpg

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*gurgle gurgle GURGLE*

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Wow, calm down!

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*psshhh* Make Biobreasts SHUT UP! People tryin' to work here!

rBH7Okk.png


cVYYjYh.png
I meant that as a compliment.

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I hate you, Grim.

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We all do.

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*PROJECTING IMAGES THAT BURN THROUGH THE MIND*

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rsZZddA.jpg
pjaC7Hr.jpg
Cml3scu.png
FFFFFFFUUCK!!!

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Hommmmm

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Tracking? She wants to learn tracking..?

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I mean. Ok? Go for it?

rBH7Okk.png


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She isn't going anywhere...

pjaC7Hr.jpg
WE ARE UNDER ATTACK, YOU DUMBFUCKS!!!

ShU5MMO.jpg

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*dissapears*

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RED ALERT! RED ALERT!!!

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*psh psh* KOMRADES, COMBAT POSITIONS! KKK IS UNDER ATTACK! Deserters will have their BALLS amputated! Over.

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We'll have to finish this conversation later, Kalin.

ir9KFe9.jpg

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You can't walk away from Son of Kalin!

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I'm not trying to. *sighs, turns around* There is no point in discussing this... stalker. He is causing problems. What do you do when someone is causing problems?

yct9ohx.jpg
I kill him.

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You kill him.

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*thinks for a moment, then simply nods*

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*walks away*

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Cheetah, take cover behind the sandbags! You, me and Biobutt will hold the main entrance. KALIN, you and Lizzurd are guarding back door! DO NOT LET THEM SLIP THRU!

61fcdxZ.png
I'll be right back. *goes inside the barracks*

yct9ohx.jpg
Grimwulf.

EnlwBOQ.png
WHAT?!

yct9ohx.jpg
She's... fine.

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Hrm?

yct9ohx.jpg
Cheetah. We had a coversation about... spirituality. Stuff that we believe in. She is fine.

cNAVnpU.jpg

EnlwBOQ.png
Did you hear "combat positions"?

yct9ohx.jpg
Fuck you. *goes inside*

One hour later.

GrJ3gjy.png
Um khla mar. Irguk toesgata!

UEHiQcR.jpg

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Kurp regastir. *makes a sign for others to stop* Hurmur lok khadar. *approaches KKK carefully*

SoVOGmh.jpg

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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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*SHRIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEK*

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*raises a brow* Damn.

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Yeah. Like I told you before, she knows her job.

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She's not the only one. *aims her rifle*

nhIcjHS.jpg

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EnlwBOQ.png
*both open fire at once*

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*GURGLE*

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TAKE THE PRISONERS FOR INTERROGATION!

YXhVzse.jpg

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Goddamit. Missed all the fun.

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Welcome to KKK, ke ke ke.

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The pain!

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This one speaks our language!

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Interesting.

Meanwhile.

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Almost there.

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This is a mistake, BigVee.

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We'll see about that.

Later that evening.

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Tough bastard. Was basically cut in half, and still breathin' somehow.

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Turbuk hedor!

yct9ohx.jpg
Eh?

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He calls you a demon.

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There is indeed a demon. IN MY PANTS!! *grabs crotch*

61fcdxZ.png
Such a mess...

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Thank you for cleaning my blood, Senorita.

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URUPREY! JERHOVA!!!

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He feels guilty for all the trouble we caused, and offers his life in compensation. All he asks is to spare me.

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All that in two words? Impressive.

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Tell your idiot boyfriend that he will either work for me, or suffer EXXXTREME TORTURES!

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Guk benjuk sdei kafar, prokler fas hordum ol.

GrJ3gjy.png
Grrrrrr.

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yct9ohx.jpg
Clean the room. Then haul shit to the base. I'm watchin' ye!

iKZdtuq.png
We did great! HIGH FIVE, PARTNER!

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*leaves the workshop, ignoring Lizzurd*

iKZdtuq.png
*hand hanging in the air* Embarassing.

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May I have a glass of water and julienne?

iKZdtuq.png
We have borsch.

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What is borsch?

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You're gonna love it.

Meanwhile.

7BAc3b7.png
*greeting pop-pop*

BBdeb9S.jpg

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You didn't mention there is an Eldritch among them, Herman.

hgvmVCQ.png
I didn't know myself.

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Shh! They can hear your thoughts!

7BAc3b7.png
*confused gurgle*

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We mean you no harm, Old One. Will you let us pass, so we can trade with your slaves?

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*magnanimous pop-pop*

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I am grateful.

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We all are.

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...

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Later that night.

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We have lost the savages, milord. It's snowing too hard. Impossible to track them down at this point.

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Just a little further to the north, Andrade. I have a certain feeling about this place. A good feeling.

6GUResg.jpg

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*gives a signal for his men to scout ahead*

One hour later.

iKZdtuq.png
Kommissar!

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What now?

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The prisoners are feeling ok! One of them is already working, the other one will fully recover in a day or two.

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Good. Not that I give two shits, but still.

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It's almost bed time. Where is Kalin and Cheetah?

iKZdtuq.png
Do you think they could be... you know?

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Hmm?

iKZdtuq.png
Touching each other?

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GWA HAHAHAHA, you fucking jester.

Later that night.

yct9ohx.jpg
So that's the whole story?

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Yeah.

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Still don't get why keep it secret, but eh. Whatever. Why did you make me haul these blocks again?

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If anybody asks, I was looking for dead animals, while you were hauling blocks.

yct9ohx.jpg
Sounds legit. And what if--

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Shhh! Look.

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... People?

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*enters the barracks through the back door* Are you aware we have guests?

hXOqOrK.jpg

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Hrrrmmrrm. Deal with them yourself. Me sleepin'.

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Guests, Grimwulf. As in, other people who came here for some reason. Hello?

EnlwBOQ.png
*snoring loudly*

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Grim? Are you listening? *sighs*

Meanwhile.

yct9ohx.jpg
What the actual fuck. YOU?!

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Greetings.

yct9ohx.jpg
*draws his halberd* BIG mistake, fuckers - now you D--

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Kalin. I'll take care of the situation. Get some rest.

yct9ohx.jpg
Fine.

QAY8v9a.jpg

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*whispers in Cheetah's ear*
I know them.

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*nods, comes closer to the caravan* Fishfolk.

poQjZA5.jpg

hgvmVCQ.png
Good even-- oh.

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Murphy..? *the crowd is whispering Cheetah's name, everybody bow their heads to show respect*

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We did not expect--

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Shut up, girl. I'll speak to Dutchie.

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Please. Call me Herman. I'm no longer running caravans for Miskatonic.

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What are you doing here, Dutchie?

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My bad, Ms. Murphy. It was my suggestion to trade with KKK. Didn't mean to disturb or interrupt anything.

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How did you find this location?

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We have our ways. You know better than to ask questions!

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*turns to the arrogant man and throws her knife before he has a chance to react*

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*drops dead*

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*pulls her knife out of the man's skull* Clean this mess, girl.

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... I am running this caravan, Ms. Murphy.

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*ignores her completely* As for you, don't test my patience, Dutchie.

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We didn't have to search for this place, Ms. Murphy. Pamphlets falling from the sky. I figured Kommissar Grimwulf printed them?

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Pamphlets?

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Yes. Here, see for yourself *hands a paper sheet to Cheetah*

3sS4uOp.jpg

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There is a map on the other side with very precise directions. Several days ago these pamphlets were falling down everywhere.

61fcdxZ.png
...

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You didn't know?

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I'll talk to you in the morning, Dutchie. Tell the girl she can buy any clothes, bows and arrows lying around.

hgvmVCQ.png
79PpFUX.png
Thank you.

We basically sold some trash. Buying raw meat might be a good idea, but I decided to roll like that.

We r too poor to afford anything of value, all thanks to Kalin who wasted our funds.

e9Udb93.jpg

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*addresses the crowd* Fishfolk, you are not welcome here. I expect you to leave shortly. Do NOT make me repeat myself. *tosses her knife* Because I won't.

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Better listen to Lady Murphy, folks. She means what she says. Always.

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Leif..?

0nnmwZl.jpg

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It's so nice to see you, Cheetah. How long has it been? Five years? Six?

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Six. Haven't seen you since the Rat Hunt.

qZkVG17.png
Ahh, the Rat Hunt. I was just a boy back then, but Lord be praised - we killed a lot of men.

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Not men. Rats.

qZkVG17.png
I am but a simple merchant now. Selling goods, animals. Occasionally rats, hah hah hah!

61fcdxZ.png
I know you've been selling slaves for two years now. Without asking for my permission.

qZkVG17.png
*stops laughing*

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But since you're only dealing with savages, I decided to let it slide.

qZkVG17.png
Speaking of which... Did you happen to run into a group of--

61fcdxZ.png
Yes. They caused me some trouble, Leif.

qZkVG17.png
I am willing to compensate, my Lady. A generous discount on all my goods. May I... reclaim my slaves?

61fcdxZ.png
Take the one speaking gibberish. He is lacking some limbs, but let it serve you a lesson.

qZkVG17.png
Fair enough.

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I want 219 silver for him.

qZkVG17.png
... Fair enough.

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And a husky.

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I BEG YOU, MY LADY! You are ruining me!

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Certainly we can strike a deal, Leif.

Sold the mutilated prisoner and some leather. Bought a husky! Yay!

Btw, his prices are really, really good. Too bad we're dog-poor.

KLOiat0.jpg

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A... pleasure... doing business with you.

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Good night, Leif. *goes away*

oZFOGOi.jpg

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*pets husky* How should I name you? *yawns* I'll decide later.

Later that night.


v0drvYV.png
I think I have an infection, Senor.

iKZdtuq.png
Kalin told me a tale of a wise man who lived in KKK once.

kGcE4qb.jpg

iKZdtuq.png
He was a doctor. Used to cure everything with anal candles and dirty socks.

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How did he die?

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Infection.

4XPgsp7.jpg

iKZdtuq.png
Good night!
 
Last edited:

vazha

Arcane
Joined
Aug 24, 2013
Messages
2,065
Yay, new recruit(s)!!!11
Can you also recruit somebody from those two caravans?
 

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