Vapourware Barkley 2 - the new Codex vaporware champion

[Tom Baker's Arse]

Any reason you have Illuminati references in your game ? Just curious .... The game itself looks very cool, BTW.

 

[LeStryfe79]

Looks like George Noory on the TV!

 

[Infinitron]

Yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuus: https://www.kickstarter.com/project...quel-to-barkley-shut-up-and-jam/posts/1833772

We're streamin' again!

Mystical Greetings,

Bhroom here, writing to let you all know that we have begun showing off the game on a more consistent basis, starting THIS WEEK. We still have a ways to go for the game to be DONE, but I think we are comfortable enough to start demonstrating the game and answering backer questions about gameplay, length, B-BALL Quotient, and possibly other's.

DEV STREAMIN (Mondays/Fridays)
GZ and bhroom are going to plan to stream development on Mondays and Fridays for the next two weeks. We actually did a test stream last Monday and things went well. But we didn't want to make it a big deal just in case things went ... horribly wrong. Luckily it didn't!

The game is complex to say the least. We had an idea that we could stream, encountering some bugs here and there and make it our goal to fix them by Friday, where we'll show the game again but working THE RIGHT WAY. On Monday we came across a few things we wanted to change:

• There was a weird balance issue with NORMAL Damage
• There was a surface_stack error that happens randomly
• There was a crash with a particular gun affix (Adhesive)

We started on Monday by showing Gun's Breeding. We went over Genetic's of Gun's, Gun Parents (LINEAGE) and Types and Materials. Then we did a few quests from the early game. If you missed the stream don't worry. We'll update more regularly from now on. You can also see the archive here.

Catch the dev stream here!

Times are IN FLUX but because we are on Mountain Time Currently, we are thinking to start around 12:00pm here, so 2:00pm EST tomorrow!

Entering the Utility Station

ART STREAMIN (Tuesdays/Wednesday/Thursdays)
In the middle of the week you can watch Frankie's Stream of Art on Tuesdays, Wednesday and Thursdays. He draws sprites on Tuesdays and Thursdays and makes effects for the 2001 unique gun's in the game on Wednesdays.

Catch the art stream here!

Party Time with Gutterhound


(wow these gifs are shit quality... well whatever... sorry)

 

[Blaine]

I can't wait for 2020 to roll around so I can get my hands on this game.

Spoiler

 

[hello friend]

I'm gonna start a gun eugenic's programme.

 

[DashiDMV]

We might live in a world where Grimoire is out before Barkley 2.

The pressure is on Eric_S. Start sending Gabe Sub Sandwiches so he's too distracted to press the Greenlight button.

 

[LESS T_T]

 

[Zombra]

We might live in a world where Grimoire is out before Barkley 2.

??????????????????​

 

[DashiDMV]

 

[set]

I just had to comment after seeing that tweet. It makes me wish I had a tweeter account. No, wait, it doesn't. I'm not gonna try to condense my rant into 140 characters. I just wish I could shake these guys and get them to wake up.

Like. I get it. It's a lightly-funded indie game and you all have lives outside of it. But what's with kickstarters and not providing updates? Why is there a culture of thinking not posting an update is okay? It hurts all kickstarters people take this respoinsibility lightly. There is absolutely nothing wrong with posting once a month, "No update." update. It's not like we've forgotten these guys exist. I work in software too and when I'm expected to provide an update on a project, but I don't have one, I just say, "No update". It goes a long way to establishing trust and keeping people happy. It's professional. A frankly, I may have only donated $25 to the project how many years ago now, but I was invested. I want these guys to succeed. I want to play their vidcon. Give me an update. Or if the project is floundering so hard that it's completely stopped development, just own up. There's no reason to be mysterious about it. It's completely unprofessional. And I get these guys are jokesters, but come on.

If Barkley 2 isn't vaporware but is way off schedule, just say so. I mean, we already know that it is way off schedule, so come clean already. Just post where you're at once a month, what items are being worked on, and what the current realistic timeline is for release. We know it's not December 2013. And to be honest, the original delivery date is so off the mark at this point I don't think anyone would be offended if 2023 was the realistically projected release date.

If you're actively working on the game, you have to have a ticketing system, or something which tracks what features and content are still WIP. So you have to know month by month what is still left to produce to finish the game. It can't take more than half an hour a month to prepare a very simple update for backers. This is something that should just happen. Yet it doesn't. Again and again. And this is why I haven't backed another game since like 2014. The whole kickstarter phenomenon has failed in large part to developers like these and it's a right shame it's been supplanted by even worse shit.

Anyway, it's too late at this point, even if these devs started keeping the kickstarter page updated right now, 90% of people have forgotten about or given up on this game already. It'll just be a pleasant surprise to them when it actually gets completed. They already gone and fucked this shit up.

 

[Lhynn]

I thought you guys got the memo. Cboy lost it after he saw how much some some 14 yerars old "developers" of porn games are making by just using RPG Maker and he just opened a patreon and is now developing "My girlfriend has amnesia" or some shit like that.

 

[DashiDMV]

Barkley 2 is now in its Daredevil Donut Lad phase.

 

[Infinitron]

https://www.kickstarter.com/project...quel-to-barkley-shut-up-and-jam/posts/2008665

Barkley 2: Another Fantastic Week

It's been AT LEAST a few fortnights since we talked last, and honestly I planned on it being a little longer because our updates always suck nards. But then some twitter fellow caught me with a response and I said "I PROMISE" to send an update. So here we are.

Unlike Jean-Marc, B2 development hasn't completely derailed. Yet...

THE DEVELOPMENT CONTINUES!
So you all might remember Laz, the Wyld Finn, and his disturbing cavalcade of horrible game ideas. Well, we've given him a bigger role in the project, so Barkley is starting to veer off course and into a realm where gam3r pride and g4mer self-loathing painfully crisscross. Laz is working on a Legenday Dojo set a top the mountains, and also the mind-boggling puzzles you must complete to gain entrance to said Dojo. These puzzles of course, the machinations of the diabolical Fary-kin of Necron 7.


High atop "Gilbert's Peak" are other sinful dangers. Such as the Mythical and MystiKal Jalapeno Stags, abbreviated to "'peno Stags." These enigmatic beasts seem to lumber across the ice-capped ranges of N7's southern regions, and then suddenly, vanish into the cold fog that persists as such high altitudes. To battle the 'peno Stag is to stare down the Red Face of F.A.T.E. itself.

'Peno Stags are wild beasts filled with cruelty and malice.

Then there's the Mines, where you must sneak around and execute certain secret plans for an enigmatic secret someone to obtain an item shrouded in mystery...

Drink colloidal silver to gain Blueface and bamboozle the Duergs.

OH YEAH WE ADDED FISHING
So now you can fish in the game. What does it get you? Well, more gun's of course. WHY would you do it? Well there is no reason at all to do it because videogames are meaningless. We're glad we added it. You'll love/hate it, too.

Will you catch the "Ultermate" Lunker?

BOSSES
We also started adding some punk-ass bosses like Catfish Queen, Doppelkuwanger, the B.A.B.B.Y. System, and Running Mantis. Each offers their own puzzling combat design for players to decipher not only how to overcome but also to consider why we made such bold and rambunctious gameplay notions in the first place.

Use your enemies tricks against them.

WHAT ELSE ARE WE WORKING ON
Ever feel like a character is yapping too much? Maybe it's your 5th playthrough seeing the same cinema / dialog again? Or perhaps you're simply sick of whatever it is that you see on the screen? Worry not! B2 has a cinema fast-forwarding feature to make your gaming experience slightly more tolerable.

Custom Anti-Yapper System.

The tutorial is more or less done. This dramatic opening sets the stage for the tribulations of X114JAM9 and we gave a diaper-filler teaser of it on twitter a few months ago. We're pretty happy with the DARK UNDERTONES of the opening scene and I think some of the more... dark-minded gamerkin will feel the same.

Wait a fortnight more and we'll drop some more B2 on ya. There seriously is a lot we are adding.

Remember: you can't rush quantity.

sexualroofer6 sends his regards.

 

[Lhynn]

I believe at this point we just gotta accept the devs bailed and the game is never coming out.

 

[Haba]

So you can skip dialogue and fish. Seems p. legit.

See you again in six months!

 

[lightbane]

5 years and still ongoing development? RIP. Hell, even Grimoire has been released already (and it's allegedly playable to boot!).

 

[MurkyShadow]

Everything under the development cycle of Duke Nukem Forever is smooth sailing.

 

[buffalo bill]

I think I've enjoyed the hype and anticipation better than actually playing any of the games that I've backed on kickstarter. So here's hoping this never comes out.

 

[Zombra]

I think I've enjoyed the hype and anticipation better than actually playing any of the games that I've backed on kickstarter. So here's hoping this never comes out.

You wouldn't say that if you'd played Gaiden. Talking about that was amazing too, but nothing matched the experience of actually playing it.

 

[thesheeep]

I think I've enjoyed the hype and anticipation better than actually playing any of the games that I've backed on kickstarter. So here's hoping this never comes out.

Same with Grimoire. The thread was wonderful until the thing got actually released.

 

[set]

Fishing now? Jesus, they're just having fun I guess. At least there's that.

Oh but the tutorial is "more or less done" to me that's the funniest line of the update. In another five years do you think it'll be "done"? Or do you think it'll need a "little more polish".
The only way that update could have been more sarcastic is if it'd copied Clive's "we're just 531.25 mini-bugs away from release" approach.

 

[Zombra]

There seriously is a lot we are adding.
Remember: you can't rush quantity.

That's a funny riff, but

SERIOUSLY: FEATURE CREEP IS BAD, YO.
I'm sure you can come up with a great new idea every week, and then take a month to implement it. Fucking stop that.
Insert the tactile feeling of a rolled up newspaper swatting your nose. "Bad! Bad developer!"

 

[taxalot]

It hurts more because this time we are betrayed by one of our owns.

I know I would never do that to you.

 

[Infinitron]

http://www.pcgamer.com/whatever-happened-to-barkley-2/

Whatever happened to Barkley 2?
After five years, the sequel to cult indie RPG Barkley: Shut up and Jam: Gaiden is still slowly grinding forward.

It's been five years since the creators of cult favorite free RPG Barkley, Shut Up and Jam: Gaiden launched a Kickstarter campaign to fund a sequel. The team at Tales of Game's (note: that is not a typo) raised $120,000 at the end of 2012, got right to work, and… apparently never stopped, blowing past a planned 2013 release date and continuing on for another four years. What happened?

If you're not familiar with the original game, a quick primer: In the year 2041, Charles Barkley performs a powerful Chaos Dunk in front of a packed crowd. The dunk's explosive waves of awesomeness kills almost everyone in the stands, and basketball is outlawed. The game follows Charles Barkley in 2053 after he's blamed for another Chaos Dunk that results in more deaths, and Michael Jordan is dispatched to bring Barkley to justice.

It's utter nonsense, obviously, but it's fun nonsense. It's like playing an RPG based on a dril tweet, except weirder. The sequel, fully titled The Magical Realms of Tír na nÓg: Escape from Necron 7 – Revenge of Cuchulainn: The Official Game of the Movie – Chapter 2 of the Hoopz Barkley SaGa, promised to be stranger, bigger, and deeper.

Five years is a long time in videogames, but it's a damn eternity in the Kickstarter world. In 2012, Double Fine launched the campaign for Broken Age and planted the idea in the minds of indie developers everywhere: hey, we could crowdfund this thing. That was the year we saw a rush of indie Kickstarter campaigns. Heck, 2012 was the year when the Ouya console got funded. We were all so very young.

Here in 2018, though, we're sadly familiar with the basic outline of what happened next. The campaign was too successful, stretch goals promised a dramatic expansion in the game's features, and the team ran out of money before the game was finished.

$120,000 may be a lot of money, but it's nothing if you're trying to pay a team of developer salaries to make a game full-time. After five years, that money is long gone—according to an update in 2016, the team is "essentially working for free." But it doesn't seem like Barkley's story is over. A Chaos Dunk may ring out once again. Tales of Game's didn't respond to our requests for comment for this article, but unlike some other exhausted campaigns, this one is still grinding forward.

Tales of Game's never completely disappeared, even though updates to backers have slowly dwindled. And yet, the absurdist humor, the joy of this game, seems undimished. "You all might remember Laz, the Wyld Finn, and his disturbing cavalcade of horrible game ideas. Well, we've given him a bigger role in the project, so Barkley is starting to veer off course and into a realm where gam3r pride and g4mer self-loathing painfully crisscross," says the October 2017 update. Also in the same update: a heading that simply reads "OH YEAH WE ADDED FISHING" and the self-aware sign-off "Remember: you can't rush quantity."

Reading back through the years of updates, it looks like the only thing that has really changed is that Tales of Game's got tired of promising a release date and then having to push it back over and over.

Since 2015, updates have a distinct flavor of "it will be done when it's done." In August of that year, Tales of Game's released a Final Fantasy 7 Remake-parody trailer teasing a release date of 11/11/2023. It was clearly a joke. Maybe a joke. It could have been a joke. At this point, it's anyone's guess whether Barkley 2 or the Final Fantasy 7 remake will release first.

Recent updates feature more art and animation than early updates, and more and more the team's progress reports focus on things like menus, balancing, and new mini-games. They recently posted a GIF of a run-and-gun battle with 'Peno Stags, ostensibly an abbreviation of jalapeno but we know in our hearts this one's a dick joke. In March 2017, they announced that the game now includes "upgradeable swears," encouraging players to "level up that sass." And you know what? The important thing is that they're having fun.

We have no concrete reason to think this will really be the year, but we still included Barkley 2 in our guide to the games of 2018 with blind faith in the Power of the Dunk. It didn't go unnoticed.

eric__s Good question!

 

[Blaine]

If I promise to stop being racist, will you hurry the fuck up and finish this Super Nintendo game that Squaresoft would have completed in 13 months back in 1994?

Thanks.