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Mass Effect BioWare Montreal's Mass Effect: Andromeda - where element zero meets trisomy 21

Santander02

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Mega Bloks

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Padzi

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When Sara was first introduced during that E3 trailer, where only her CGI face was shown I thought she was kinda cute/ok. But after spedning some time on the Codex, everytime I see her two particular words pop into my head. Retard and Legos.
The Codex saved my soul.
 

Padzi

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Fellow Codexers I was on a small trip with my friends and morbid curiosity made me buy Mass Effect Andromeda book - Nexus Uprising. Pray for my sanity to whatever god you believe in. I'm going to start this werid acid trip tomorrow. I will describe all the worst parts when I encounter them. :salute:
 

Tytus

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kZz5DBK.jpg



So much time and effort wasted.
On the other hand maybe it's good they waste their days making Krogan heads and fat Asari cosplays.
You never know what else such freaks could do, if left to their own devices :P
 

Padzi

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Ok, as I promised I will now share my first impressions of Nexus Uprising. I've read around 100 pages, but I will focus "mostly" on the terrible prologue and comment on the rest when I finish the book.

Potato version of the Nexus Uprising:

a6RuhmT.jpg


Ok, so:

First of all, buying the book I didn't know that Sloane Kelly would be the main character. It was hard trying to suppress the memory of an Andromeda bug, where Sloane Kelly is trying to get more comfy but instead just melts into her seat. Yeah that made reading those 100 pages a little hard:



ANYWAY. Prologue is just terrible. It's a field trip to a rotten SJW mind. In short. Slone is happy that they are going to Andromeda, because it will be a new better home, they will create a new better place to live, a better society. All races will be equal. There won't even be a trace of bureaucracy. Everybody will be united by one common purpose and they will all be friends. And the Citadel? That's a horrible place. Nexus is new, better and everything will be awesome and wonderful. Like an episode of My Little Pony.

:incloosive:

...and then the action starts, and guess what?

Slone Kelly does the exact opposite of what she was thinking about.
- No bureaucracy? Nexus is in the danger! What do we do? Oh, I know time to impose a bureaucratic system on everyone!
- There will be no divisions in Andromeda? If you not with us, you are against us! Screw everyone who looks at me the wrong way!
- I think officers that use any means necessary to boost their careers and trample everyone in their path are terrible people and I condemn them. But when only she is given enough power one of her favourite orders is to kill everyone who opposes her. Kill em all!
- Everyone on the Nexus will be friends united in one goal? This person! She's my friend! Oh, oh... that person is dead? I can't and won't call her a friend because she never was my friend and she is... just dead.

:deadtroll:

OH AND I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THE MOST IMPORTANT PART! Guys, I finally understand why people in Andromeda are so fucked in the head. Right before leaving they had a party with large amounts of alcohol. Sloane Kelly is having the worst hangover in her life when she is being frozen. In other words being hangover for 600 years with alcohol still coursing in your veins would fuck up anyone. The other colonists were drunk or hangover too. AND NOBODY and I mean NOBODY was worried about this. And guess what was Sloane Kelly's actual fear? That if she gets a wedgie, after 600 years it will become a serious medical problem (not even joking.)

Also the description of Addison and her face enamoured me. It went something like this. Addison had a motionless gaze of someone who traveled thousands of light years and is ready to switch off emotionally (not a joke).
Her face is always tired, always bruh.


My face is tired too... Of "fun".
 

cvv

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Why do you keep eating from the trashbin? Plus isn't it better to read in English than translation? In my experience all translation is terrible (except the works of the few master translators, who don't translate trashy SF ofc).

P.S. - you wanna a truly mindblowing, epic story of alien invasion, get Three Body Problem by Cixin Liu. Don't waste time on zero talent pap.
 
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Padzi

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Why do you keep eating from the trashbin? Plus isn't it better to read in English than translation? In my experience all translation is terrible (except the works of the few master translators, who don't translate trashy SF ofc).

I like to know my enemies. And I can decide what toilet paper I buy with my money.
And regarding the english version of the book. I'm kinda lazy and I'm also a little afraid that my english skills are not developed enough to understand everything.

Padzi has a battered wife syndrome relationship with Bioware.

Stockholm is a beautiful place this time of year anyway.
 

Tytus

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Will it surpass the epic that was Deception?

Nothing can't beat that, because the SJW shill that wrote this book at least played the game and knows something about the lore:

K. C. Alexander is the author of paranormal romances and the steampunk adventures in the St. Croix Chronicles. She is an avid player of Mass Effect and has logged more than 500 hours on the game.
 

Freddie

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Why do you keep eating from the trashbin? Plus isn't it better to read in English than translation? In my experience all translation is terrible (except the works of the few master translators, who don't translate trashy SF ofc).

I like to know my enemies. And I can decide what toilet paper I buy with my money.
And regarding the english version of the book. I'm kinda lazy and I'm also a little afraid that my english skills are not developed enough to understand everything.
I actually like you doing this, but it would be nice if it were from English version, it's also sort of sad that BW fuckers get any money from this but I guess it can't be avoided, so thanks for taking one for the team.

Will it surpass the epic that was Deception?
That would be difficult, perhaps even impossible, but let's see what Padzi will tell us.
 

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