KickStarter Darkest Dungeon AKA the Celerity Attention Whore Thread

[Beastro]

Wolfe It seems that the spiked horse dildo I have offered has been accepted and used well by you. I see that you are quite enjoying it.



Now who the fuck are you, why should I give any fucks, and why should I even acknowledge you when anyone can ctrl+f Celerity and see people constantly dragging me back in and me constantly saying fuck off already?

DarkUnderlord I see that you do not want a Derpest review. Very well then.

Dr Skeleton That's the best part. Anyone actually looking for a Roguelike will be so turned off by the extreme grind that by the time they get NG+ (which is a poorly made approximation of a Roguelike made by those with no understanding of the genre) they won't even care anymore. Anyone not will grind for a while then never use NG+. This is what happens when you gate a second, very different game behind the first.

Lujo They won't. I keep saying shit like fuck off about Derpest, next day x has quoted your post. Y has quoted your post. Z has mentioned you. People are far more obsessed with me than I allegedly am with Derpest. They will not let it go. They will continue, they will make remarks about me being insane or some sort of mass murderer in the making or some shit. They will obsess, forever.

Here it is for like the 5th time now. Drop the tag/watchwitz bullshit. Quit talking about me here, quit responding, quit referencing me, leave me the fuck out of this Derpest thread, and reverse all the bullshit that came with it. You can't do this. You won't do this. You want that insanity. Perhaps you even want a mass murderer. I don't know how fucked you fucks are in the head. You sure are hellbent on provoking me relentlessly though, even after seeing how I treat those that have.

Stainless Veteran Mustawd You are aware that cRPGs are actually pretty casual in the grand scheme of things right? Perhaps you missed the part where I came from PnP RPGs, which have a lot more mechanical depth? Or the part where that means I missed most of the older cRPGs by either not having a computer at the time, or not focusing on cRPGs at the time? I also had no idea wtf Twitch and Youtube were until well after reaching adulthood and well after their inception, but do keep carrying on with your retard rants assuming you have a good read on my personality from my troll persona, which is about all you fucks have seen by virtue of failing your intelligence check.

You're constant use of "Derpest" as it's name, instead of a sly little jab at the game used in moderation, has become very, very derp.

 

[Mustawd]

I take back what I said about reading a review. This guy obviously can't write something that's not a raving rant in the form of a wall of text. Can we give this guy the Typical Modder tag already?

 

[Celerity]

cRPG mechanics: Pick from a small number of options, many of which are obviously good or bad.
PnP mechanics: Pick from a very large number of options (literally thousands of pages worth). Some are obviously good or bad, many however require a high level understanding of the system before you can assess them at all. See: The various idiots calling "Monkey Grip" overpowered, when it mathematically reduces your damage.

Just one game changing ability, like flight from a PnP RPG adds far more than the entirety of most cRPGs, and this is very obvious when the cRPGs are allegedly built on PnP like rules, but because enemies just stand there on the ground and melee you and let you melee them instead of the invisible, flying ganksquads that emergent gameplay would naturally generate it's actually nothing like that at all.

And Derpest Dungeon is its true name so I'll use it constantly.

 

[Jick Magger]

Do you see what I mean? The man is utterly obsessed. First he was here to prove how corrupt Red Hook was, then he was here to prove how shit the game is, and now he's here because "THOSE DANG DIRTY TROLLS KEEP PROVOKING ME Now let me just post another wall of text about why the game is shit while I'm here...". Darkest Dungeon is his white whale.

Celerity, let me spell this out for you: the only way this is gonna stop is if you stop taking the bait. You lost your chance to stop being an object of ridicule around twenty pages ago (Was it when it was revealed you've invested over a thousand hours into something you obsessively hate, or when you started resorting to referring to the game as 'Derpest Dungeon', demonstrating your vast intelligence by resorting to grade-school namecalling? Who knows!), your clearly unhealthy obsession with the game has ensured that everyone who would have taken you seriously has written you off as a crazy, and you gain absolutely nothing by continuing to post here but further humiliation and blows to your already shattered reputation. You've made it obvious that for all your grand-standing about how intelligent you are, all it really takes is a couple of petty insults to stir you in to an autistic fury. Why don't you actually demonstrate this intelligence and just walk away?

Spoiler

But of course you won't, because despite all your grand-standing, you're just a sad little man who won't admit that all the time he's dedicated to something he hates was for nothing.

 

[Lios]

screw Darkest Dungeon, somebody should write a review of Celerity instead

 

[Mustawd]

screw Darkest Dungeon, somebody should write a review of Celerity instead

Review complete. Brofist me.

 

[mondblut]

cRPG mechanics: Pick from a small number of options, many of which are obviously good or bad.
PnP mechanics: Pick from a very large number of options (literally thousands of pages worth). Some are obviously good or bad, many however require a high level understanding of the system before you can assess them at all. See: The various idiots calling "Monkey Grip" overpowered, when it mathematically reduces your damage.

Ok, this is semantics of what exactly "mechanics" stands for. I treat the word as umbrella term for the math model behind the game, which computers obviously do better. You treat it wider.

 

[Beastro]

Why don't you actually demonstrate this intelligence and just walk away?

 

[Lujo]

Yeah, I for all the simpathy and understanding I may have for the guy, I think he needs an intervention IRL. Really. If he's put in that many hours into the game, coupled with the language use (the "derpest" thing is very childish), kinda points to the fact that he's either in school or in college, and what he's done and is still doing is a good way to fail either and fuck your life up good. And if he's in school or college, he's probably messed up and RL is catching up with him (I know what that's like), so he's probably more irrational than he'd usually be. So I'm telling you guys, rename the thread, give him a non provoking tag and stop pushing his buttons. If he can't control himself, you guys can. And I'll stop, too, ofc.

 

[Beautiful Clown Painting]

Leave Celerity alone, people. Let him rant and rave like a lunatic if he feels the need to do so.
As for me, I see him as pretty articulate, out of his mind and a pretty good troll. But I could describe myself in the exact same terms (except for the troll part, it requires too much energy and I have other things to do).
At least he adresses issues which are flinged at him, not like some Cleve who flees on a tangent and on an absolutely non-related subject as soon as he's challenged.

To come back to the first function of this thread: it seems that the codex concensus on this game is that it's good for what it is and made for rather casual gamers. But I ask you, bros, is it fun enough (even through its shitty casual nature) to deserve its actual price?

 

[Invictus]

Leave Celerity alone, people. Let him rant and rave like a lunatic if he feels the need to do so.
As for me, I see him as pretty articulate, out of his mind and a pretty good troll. But I could describe myself in the exact same terms (except for the troll part, it requires too much energy and I have other things to do).
At least he adresses issues which are flinged at him, not like some Cleve who flees on a tangent and on an absolutely non-related subject as soon as he's challenged.

To come back to the first function of this thread: it seems that the codex concensus on this game is that it's good for what it is and made for rather casual gamers. But I ask you, bros, is it fun enough (even through its shitty casual nature) to deserve its actual price?

Definetly worth its prize, the game is abit grindy but good fun in short 60 minute bursts, the devs are constantly updating and will probably become a bit less grindy with time but very much a good fun uncomplicated game

 

[Celerity]

1. 
   mondblut quoted your post in the thread KickStarter The Celerity attention whore thread: Darkest Dungeon - RELEASED.
   6:28 PM
2. 
   mondblut Brofisted your post in the thread KickStarter The Celerity attention whore thread: Darkest Dungeon - RELEASED.
   6:25 PM
3. 
   The Brazilian Slaughter replied to the thread Decline Remove The Ignore Feature. There may be more posts after this.
   6:08 PM
4. 
   Lios mentioned you in a post in the thread KickStarter The Celerity attention whore thread: Darkest Dungeon - RELEASED.
   5:47 PM
5. 
   Jick Magger replied to the thread KickStarter The Celerity attention whore thread: Darkest Dungeon - RELEASED. There may be more posts after this.

All your grandstanding and posturing and insults mean nothing, the facts speak for themselves. I leave for a while and would you look at that, 4 responses all directed at me specifically! Actions speak louder than words, you'll understand when you move out of your mother's basement.

"Derpest Dungeon" is a fine name, it concisely describes what it's about in a snarky way. It's just as childish and simplistic as the game itself, which I did not spend 1,337 hours on by the way. Time spent on Rekt Hook's walking simulator =/= time spent on the real game I made from it. I loved what I made, but I'm not reviewing that. Speaking of reviews, I did one. It's there when the Codex quits being fucktarded and honors my terms.

mondblut I think it's an important distinction. There is such a thing as a fundamentally flawed mechanic. Either a case of "No matter how good you are at x, x is not relevant (mechnically effective) in this system, it is a trap." or "
No matter how good you are at x, x is not relevant (situationally useful) in this system, it is a trap." PnP is full of hard counter mechanics, flight being an obvious example. All those enemies with +fuck off melee numbers but no range abilities and no flight? You fly over them, or auto win if you have ranged attacks yourself. Seriously, anyone that claims a PnP game is less mechanically complex than a CRPG has never made a non spellcaster in D&D 3.5 actually contribute in or out of combat. That shit about memorizing thousands of pages of rules is not even hyperbole. It is an actual requirement.

Beautiful Clown Painting I say if you wanna grind on 5 hours of content for 80 hours for 25 dollars that badly I'm sure you can find a blonde prostitute somewhere, and you'll probably come out better from the encounter.

 

[mondblut]

PnP is full of hard counter mechanics, flight being an obvious example. All those enemies with +fuck off melee numbers but no range abilities and no flight? You fly over them, or auto win if you have ranged attacks yourself. Seriously, anyone that claims a PnP game is less mechanically complex than a CRPG has never made a non spellcaster in D&D 3.5 actually contribute in or out of combat. That shit about memorizing thousands of pages of rules is not even hyperbole. It is an actual requirement.

Thing is, this shit is not in the rules, that's why it is not mechanics in my book. So you say, "i cast flight, rise 100 feet above those orcs and start throwing feces at them". DM thinks and says, "orcs curse, wipe off your feces and hide behind the cover of trees". The game does not check whether you can actually produce feces. The game does not check whether your feces hit the orcs, and even if they do, orcs got no morality points to be removed with feces damage, nor do feces have a morality damage value, nor do the orcs have a morality points threshold value when they retreat. Heck, there probably weren't even the trees until DM said so. It's all pure DM fiat, not mechanics. And if you replace feces with a plain old ranged attack or escape which are written down in the rules, a plenty of computer games have implemented that, from Master of Magic to Ravenloft: Stone Prophet. If it's in the rules, computer games can and will, when useful for a game in question, implement that. The bread and butter of tabletop RPGs is what is not in the mechanics.

See, I use the words "rules" and "mechanics" interchangeably.

 

[Beastro]

All your grandstanding and posturing and insults mean nothing, the facts speak for themselves. I leave for a while and would you look at that, 4 responses all directed at me specifically! Actions speak louder than words, you'll understand when you move out of your mother's basement.

And this kind of thing is the reason why. You keeping biting and making it worthwhile to further rile you up.

It also doesn't help that you have an air of trying too hard and could deflect a ton of shit if you'd only act a bit more understated and not openly question why everyone is directing their antics in your direction.

I know school these days is shit, but I'd at least think besides the toilet level education there's enough social interaction still left for kids to pick up on this kind of stuff, or have smart phones fucked this up now?

 

[Celerity]

mondblut I said ranged attacks. There absolutely are rules for bows, and slings, and javelins and so on. They cannot engage you, you can engage them, so you can take your free win if you want it or just keep going. It's why scope of adventure is also a thing, you're not just fighting level 20 bandits in the woods at level 20 like in a CRPG. But if you wanna troll, the shit is an improvised, nonproficient weapon so you take a -8 accuracy and deal no damage. Also, earlier editions DID have morale rules, but I'm assuming 3.5 which does not.

CRPGs so greatly dumb down anything that doesn't have direct combat applications that high level encounters are just low level encounters with bigger numbers in almost every case and there's still nothing like even those sorts of hard counters.

And anything about me being exaggerated falls flat for the simple reason this started as a normal conversation, then people had a sudden personality shift, triggered by the admission that I was a modder. Filled with traumatic, PTSD style flashbacks of @Drog pounding it in them, everyone freaked the fuck out and turned hostile and by the time I got my confusion at the board's own schizo sorted the damage was already done and we're stuck in troll mode. Me, because that's the only way I interact with idiots and you because all that talk about autism and schizophrenia and basements is probably you having a lovely chat with your mirror, then psychologically displacing all of that on me. Regardless, you're nothing more than a source of entertainment for me and you do that very well, I constantly have a smile on my face after a little no effort trolling makes you all rage. After all, you can't see through the surface of this walking simulator the game's allegedly about, so it's only natural you can't see through my troll persona either and think I'm actually a kid or some shit.

 

[Mustawd]

It's like watching a younger version of mondblut debate the current version of mondblut. Eerie...

 

[mondblut]

It's like watching a younger version of mondblut debate the current version of mondblut. Eerie...

Even though the fundamental creed was the same, younger version of mondblut used to be a lot more larping-friendly. More simulationist, less powergamer. It took the 2000s to show the oblivion whither this road leads.

 

[Celerity]

People are also assuming they know a great deal about me that they do not. Still, discussing the differences between PnP and CRPGs is vastly more interesting than anything Derpest related. Just think, something positive finally came from Fallout trolling. Which I'd most likely not like anyways because shit mechanics.

 

[Mustawd]

Just think, something positive finally came from Fallout trolling. Which I'd most likely not like anyways because shit mechanics.

Go fucking die in a fire you piece of shit. I hope you get anal warts from when your dad anal rapes you every night. And then I hope your tranny mom gets it when she fucks you in the ass.

 

[Invictus]

It's like watching a younger version of mondblut debate the current version of mondblut. Eerie...

Bite tour tongue mondblut is a fucking eminence is RPG mechanics, like the time he worked out the character systems and troubleshoot for Grimoire. Hell even Mr Blakemore was impressed and it helped him a lot during bug testing
Celerity has done shit and talks out of his ass half the time with his "I am smarter than you" Sheldon Cooper pose
I was about to post how the new patch made the PDs blight a bit stronger and comment on some actual game mechanics but seems Celerity's thread is about anything but Darkest Dungeon

 

[Celerity]

Gotta love them basement dwellers that can't separate objectivity from subjectivity! So much fun, and trolling them is so very easy! PS: Divinity has shit mechanics.

 

[Ivan]

no fun allowed

 

[Celerity]

This is a test of the Celerity trolling system.

 

[Mustawd]

I'm Celerity and I spent 1,337 hours on Darkest Dungeon. Lol. You're like their biggest fan dawg.

 

[Invictus]

Yo DU can you make Celerity's trip to RPGWatch wonderland a bit more permanent? I know he has issues and all but really the days he didnt get reports of the thread were the only days this thread was actualy for the game and he tends to derrail any conversation with his histrionics
Maybe he won at least by running the thread for those of us who actually like and enjoy the game, maybe not for 1337 worth but still