KickStarter Darkest Dungeon AKA the Celerity Attention Whore Thread

[Reinhardt]

The fuck is going on?

Western civilization.

 

[Mustawd]

I notice an apologetic tendency towards Celerity. The dude is coming in here, calling us all retards and "popamole motherfuckers" and you bitches are apologizing?
The fuck is going on?

I want Celerity to write a review. It will be glorious if he can focus his butthurt into actually writing something coherent that's not a wall of text.

Off Topic: "Popamole motherfuckers" is a cool phrase. I think I'll non ironically use it IRL. No one will know what I'm talking about, but I'll have a small laugh inside every time I use it.

 

[agris]

You're most likely trolling, but see, I already addressed that. I asked where is the review thing, where do I submit it, etc. I of course was completely ignored by everyone, the same way people always are when they ask genuine questions out of curiosity and not herpaderp troll remarks. I'm asking again now, where is the review submitting thing? Everyone will ignore that again and keep trolling, perhaps taking a quote of mine and spamming it all over the site (holy shit, he misspelled popeamole then made a reasonable misunderstanding given context, BURN THE WITCH!).

Write it up in a word doc, include screenshots and captions, edit it and send it to infinitron and crooked bee.

it is my eternal shame that I never did this for SitS

 

[Zombra]

it is my eternal shame that I never [wrote a review] for SitS

You mean you never have YET.

 

[Celerity]

DarkUnderlord What the fuck is Star Stable? And for clarity here, people are wanting a favor from me, spending my time and effort writing a review for a game that's not even a legitimate game, and that I am not interested in discussing anymore even in a purely mocking sense. We're not on friendly terms, so you don't get shit for free. You give me something, I give you something. Now I take this remark as a sign that whatever fuckwittery resulted in the Watchwitzing breaking the site will not be reversed, so that means nothing will change.

Suicidal Roqua asked what it was about, I told him. He then made a thread begging for RPG recommendations, and when he mentioned Xulima he just mentioned the other mod (which is actually really imbalanced, by virtue of making every skill a huge skill tax so you hardly get any of them). As for "whoever did it being lame", well he posted right before you. And if you're wondering, it's also why I quote like this because actually using the quote button results in the same absurd load times. Really, all he's doing is making me open every page 3-10 times so I can make sure it loads properly once and putting greatly increased load on the site so dunno why he bothers. That's what Watchwitzing does - greatly artifically increases load times on new page/quote/private messages... and gives any action a 70% chance of redirecting, because obviously RPG Watch is what I'm looking for...

As for the mod, not a single person has posted in the thread for it, shown any concrete interest, or even said they beat the first area. In case you didn't notice I don't put a lot of stock in words, I only really take actions seriously. Anyone can talk, anyone can say anything. Very often, their actions don't match their words either out of unwillingness, incompetence, or outright malicious lies.

GlutenBurger It's a random retard who claims Derpest is "more Roguelike than Rogue" so my initial impression was that he says the opposite of what is true about everything, and in fact Wizardry is the more difficult, more complex game and Might and Magic is jus a casual runthrough. Not necessarily a bad game, but certainly a much weaker Wizardry. He of course claimed the opposite. Said person also made factually false claims about the Derpest map gen and persisted even after I actually posted the code of the map gen in question, so that question was a "Hey, is it that time for the broken clock, or is this the full retardness I think it is?"

Lujo The whole Derpest Dungeon thing didn't start until well after the censorship did and their design "vision" throughly failed. The funny thing is damage/accuracy/speed spamming does make the game a joke, mostly because of the double first strike chance, but they're not doing that because they fail at math and call shit like Jester and Houndmaster bleeds the highest damage skills in the game. Because no one uses damage bonuses, they don't miss, and they don't get resisted, and every combat lasts 3+ rounds (direct damage has a 10% miss chance, that's it). It's made more disingeous by the fact AoE damage is just added for the bleeds, but no one considers that by the same logic that makes something like Breakthrough do 210 damage in the same timeframe...

 

[Mustawd]

DarkUnderlord What the fuck is Star Stable? And for clarity here, people are wanting a favor from me, spending my time and effort writing a review for a game that's not even a legitimate game, and that I am not interested in discussing anymore even in a purely mocking sense. We're not on friendly terms, so you don't get shit for free. You give me something, I give you something. Now I take this remark as a sign that whatever fuckwittery resulted in the Watchwitzing breaking the site will not be reversed, so that means nothing will change.

FFS. You've now gone full CyberP. Way to fuck it up.

Tags and modder meltdown incoming.

EDIT:

DarkUnderlord What the fuck is Star Stable?

https://www.starstable.com/en/

 

[AMG]

New posts in Darkest Dungeon thread? Let's chceck out what other people think about the game...

 

[agris]

CyberP is no more. There is now only Ash. Ash reprogrammed his emotions driver to include more fail-safes and auto-kills.

 

[Celerity]

Ah yes, because not bending over and going along with your childish bullying shit is having a meltdown. If the board will remain on full retard mode forever, it will do that. I'll come in, pound it a little for some stress relief, then continue on with my day. I was certainly hoping we could all be intelligent, reasonable people here and quit fucking around with all this bullshit but if that's not possible, if we can't just discuss actual RPGs without this trollish bullshit, then you can be the new Derpest.

 

[agris]

Hey Celerity I'm curious how old you are. I don't need specifics, but are you around 60? I've noticed that generations that didn't grow up with the internet are more assertive / extroverted / opinionated when it comes to expressing their feelings at being treated unwell. Usually accompanied by breaking social norms that a lot of younger people couldn't fathom because they're so connected socially that the slightest bit of disapproval is shoved in their face and amplified.

 

[Lujo]

Actually, the video review Celerity posted sums things up things rather well and if worth watching. As far as reviewing Darkest Dungeon in it's current state, without going into specific features/classess/strategies, it's very on point.

And yeah, what agris said, you just let too much of your personality (or something) into what you say. Always thuoght of this as a huge character flaw in myself, things most often worked out for me better whenever I could keep it down. Humans are notoriusly morally weak when it comes to teasing/ridiculing anoyone with a noticable bit of personality, especially an abrasive one even if it's stupid or even pointless to do so.

 

[Multiple Sarcasm]

Hey Celerity I'm curious how old you are. I don't need specifics, but are you around 60? I've noticed that generations that didn't grow up with the internet are more assertive / extroverted / opinionated when it comes to expressing their feelings at being treated unwell. Usually accompanied by breaking social norms that a lot of younger people couldn't fathom because they're so connected socially that the slightest bit of disapproval is shoved in their face and amplified.

Autism transcends all ages, races and religions. It's the one unifying force that will liberate mankind. Embrace it, and you too will be able to piss on site admins from the unreachable heights of your mom's basement.

 

[Mustawd]

Humans are notoriusly morally weak when it comes to teasing/ridiculing anoyone with a noticable bit of personality, especially an abrasive one even if it's stupid or even pointless to do so.

The thing with teasing is that teasing back is really the best way to diffuse it. I mean at the end of the day this is just the internet. Who really gives a shit what some asshat writes?

But Celerity just goes full on agressive mode from the start. I personally think it's quite odd. And his posts definetely have a "I'm being persecuted" tone to them. Even when most people aren't even giving him that hard of a time. In a world full of gray, Celerity is definitely a black and white kind of guy/girl/tranny.

Not saying being one way or another is better, but that dichotomous filter of seeing the world tends to make you stick out, regardless if you want the attention or not.

 

[Celerity]

agris Get off my lawn you popamole fuck! *shakes cane aggressively, falls over* AH! My back!

But seriously, here's what's happening here. I'm a very patient person, which makes people think they can bullshit me and treat me any kind of way. That just means I crack down on them hard, as my apparent weakness is an illusion. I do not give a fuck what idiots think of me, I don't much care about non idiots who I don't respect either. Political correctness is the most incorrect thing imaginable, likewise bullshitting and pussyfooting around instead of saying what you actually mean and think. You will always know where you stand with me, and as someone who doesn't believe in groupthink shit, and does believe in intelligent, critical, independent thought a lot of people are gonna get very salty because I absolutely will not validate them, and if they insist on being dumbfucks I will happily deconstruct them. This is not a flaw, I have deliberately cultivated and even amplified this because it's the best way of filtering out bullshit from my life. Absolutely no one is immune. I'm old enough, and seen enough bullshit that I've had quite enough of it. Now enter a forum full of closeted basement dwellers with grand positions of being some educated elite. If I properly screened the forum instead of just jumping in because someone linked me I could have predicted these pointless conflicts, and as I have no interest in pointless conflicts simply avoided them all. But hey, this is what happens when you quit being a cynical old man and actually look at things from a normal uncritical view. As much as certain people here (not even all) have gone full retard, I can only get as mad at them as I would get at a pet for biting through my cables. They're annoying and destructive sure, but they also can't help themselves. They're not welcome in my house anymore, but I can't muster proper hatred.

 

[Mustawd]

Confused. Does this mean you'll be doing a Lvl 10 Star Sable LP or not?

Spoiler

 

[Celerity]

Mustawd Calling people popamole fucks or whatever just makes them go further retard. Already tried that. There is nothing that yields a positive response including no response. It's just closeted basement dwellers swarming someone, which is really no different from dealing with the Derpest Dungeon shills.

Oh and apparently DarkUnderlord wants me grinding some paywall MMO thing... because obviously, after spending a considerable amount of time and effort salvaging a trash game what I need is another trash game that cannot even be salvaged. How about fuck that with a spiked horse dildo and fuck you for proposing it? "BUT HURR DURR SITE ADMIN?" And? He can keep engaging in the sort of petty, childish, bullying, yawn worthy behavior I expect from this board, he can engage in illegal activities (and I think we know how determined I become when someone pisses me off), or he can actually be a sensible person about it and talk normally instead of getting salty (but I'm not holding my breath on this one).

 

[Mustawd]

he can actually be a sensible person about it and talk normally instead of getting salty

Dunno. I don't think I've read a post of yours that didn't sound like you wanted to fight somebody.​

 

[Doctor Sbaitso]

Hey Celerity I'm curious how old you are. I don't need specifics, but are you around 60? I've noticed that generations that didn't grow up with the internet are more assertive / extroverted / opinionated when it comes to expressing their feelings at being treated unwell. Usually accompanied by breaking social norms that a lot of younger people couldn't fathom because they're so connected socially that the slightest bit of disapproval is shoved in their face and amplified.

What a miserable life if he's had that malady of his for 60 years.

 

[Celerity]

Look at the earlier posts here, before the Codex went full retard. Look at older posts about Derpest, before its corruption became apparent. Before this antagonistic bullshit, I was very cynical yes, but substantially less hostile. This whole thing is some persecuters saying quit acting perscuted... Yeah... about that...

 

[GlutenBurger]

It's a random retard who claims Derpest is "more Roguelike than Rogue"

I need a link to that in case I ever need to commit suicide. I already laugh hard enough at some of the games labeling themselves as roguelikes nowadays, so an argument about anything at all being more roguelike than Rogue sounds like a quick and easy asphyxiation.

 

[Celerity]

http://steamcommunity.com/discussions/forum/0/458606248623729069/#c412446292758279074

Other gems: "I seen the history of Roguelikes". (Translation: I have a half decent hour count on FTL and Rogue Legacy, and no understanding of Rogue or Nethack).

Seriously, his retardation about Roguelikes is far more entertaining than his retardation about Derpest. I went long and hard pounding one out in that one.

You can just read the last 10 pages of his post history, it's all mouth breathing fuckwittery.

 

[sser]

Is it true if you beat the game fast enough that the Plague Doctor will take off her clothes? Asking for a friend.

 

[Lujo]

Just relax a bit, it's feeding the trolls and this encourages them, and that, then leads to spam. You don't have to react to every troll post ever, people can tell when someone's just trolling. Principles be damned, it's causing culture shock.

Thought about what you said about speed and such, and about what the guy in the vid was saying. One thing that's very funny about the developers is that the high-end strats revolving around either killing or controlling everything before it gets to move prevent folks from noticing a rather simple thing which is making the game hard if you don't do it. Or just makes no sense, it's quite curious to observe and impossible to talk about becuse all talks of RNG get shouted down by "git gud nub" guys. Getting critted by someone means a bunch of damage, but it also means getting what ammounts to a hit from the madman (AoE stress) on top of that. The health size increases with levels (gear), but the stress bar remains the same size throughout the game, meaning an easy Madman is just as annoying as a hard one if he gets a hit in. And then the way crits work simply turns every enemy into that. So f**k picking targets, if it can hit you it can crit you, and if it can crit you, they're all the same thing.

You can only really prevent this sort of thing if you use a strat which means the other guys never get to do anything. I'm way past the point of expecting people who develop games to know anything about games* , but it's amazing that noone is pointing this out all the time in the game forums.

* (seriously, how DO you get into this bussiness? All the folks who were any good with programming that I met IRL, and I've met thousands, weren't gamers. The few that were were mostly fans of games, but would not believe you when you tried to explain to them how the thing they're fans of actually works.)

 

[Celerity]

No. You must grind for 1,337 hours, at which point you see the tentacles underneath and become "Abusive".

 

[Celerity]

Lujo If they're gonna be stuck in derp mode, I'll keep feeding them bombs until i get bored.

I'm glad you mention speed though, because here's how it works:

Everyone makes an Initiative check of 1d8+Speed, then acts in order.

This means 2 things. 1: You cannot predict or control action order. 2: When combined with the rest of the nonexistent balance you can leverage Iterative Probability.

The first completely eliminates all tactics. Even if say, protection debuff > attack were mathematically worth the action instead of attack > attack, because action order is basically random you're not gonna execute the combo correctly a large percentage of the time before you even select an action. The second means that while you can't control action order, you can just max speed on everyone at which point the odds at least 2/4 go first are near 100%, and then you win.

Now people absolutely did point this out. They got drowned by noise, from people with 5 hours/no critical thinking ability/no intelligent independent thought just repeating dev memes that don't work, and later got censored. Not just me either, there's a guy who likes describing the game as a "single solution puzzle" because "abilities lie" and got censored for that. What's more, the whole damage spam as anti RNG thing is more focused on preventing random debuffs/disease procs, the damage from crits, general attrition etc as stress is still largely a non factor. You are correct though in that the stress on party after crits is one more thing. And the main reason why damage spam is important is that every other mechanic, especially recovery is intentionally broken. This only really manifests itself against the few enemies that actually do damage, and it's why the "game" is in a Catch 22 where pretty much anything it does spotlights its complete lack of balance and design thought.