In Progress Let's Play as a Raping Pillaging Pirate!

[Tigranes]

This is such a crazy, crazy game. I suspect I'll find it absolutely unplayable, but it's amazing.

 

[abnaxus]

In before tranny doublecross.

 

[Grimwulf]

Anyone care to guess what will happened next?

I stopped guessing somewhere between black tranny trap

Spoiler

and insane LSD trip.

Spoiler

This game. I have no words.

Spoiler

 

[Dreaad]

In before tranny doublecross.

I will say this, she does play an interesting role overall, but none can guess how far the rabbit whole goes.

 

[Dreaad]

Hello, hello. This update was made with me being half drunk out of my mind. So yeah, thank god for spell check. Last episode Nick had just escaped the Aztec death trap dungeon. Greeted with daylight and what looks like some ruins.

I step outside. This must be where the Aztecs lived. Doesnt seem that clever living on top of a dormant volcano, I'm not surprised the savages were wiped out. Time to look around.

: Welcome to the top. You keeping that sword of yours handy, right?

: Can you please not do that!

: What?

: Sneak around. Can't you just walk up like a normal pirate.

: *rolls eyes* Guess the mountain passage leads up here huh?

: Yes.

: You look a little pale.

: Hmmm, oh yeah, I got in a fight.

: A fight! With whom?!

: A skeleton.

: Nick.... You're not going to impress me with stories like that. If you fell down just say it.

: What? No I'm serious.... *sigh* nevermind.

: Either way you seem to have taken care of it. I haven't had much time to look around yet, but I did find some water.

: (At least there's that.) Good work.

I take a drink of some sweet sweet water. After a few moments I feel much better. The re-hydration lets me focus on my surroundings.

Idyllic little village. Doesn't look like anyone has been here for a long time. A brief walk around reveals little, mostly just half rotten huts. Anne is surprisingly quite, for all her tough talk, she seems a little nervous, one had constantly on her knife. One of the building catches my attention. It was obviously built by non-natives.

Inside I find there's a ladder leading up to watch tower, which gives a commanding view of most of the island. There's also a moth eaten hammock and a padlocked chest. It seems pretty sturdy, so I'm not really willing to swing my sword at it repeteadly. I suppose eventually I'll could head back down to the beach and retrieve the crowbar.

I go back outside, Anne still by my side. She spots some sort of strange gong.

I hit it a few times. It makes a predictable gong sound. Anne gets frustrated with the racket I'm making so we move on. Near one of the cliff edges there is three ballistae on rotating axles. Maybe the men from the museum put them up for defense?

Nearby is a fancy path, leading to what I can only imagine was some sort gathering area. Most of it seems to have collapsed in a landslide some time ago. All that remains is a stone throne and a view of the ocean.

Getting closer I can see that this particular area was situated almost directly above the altar I saw at the bottom of the volcano. From here I can see that just under the water is a graveyard of ships, although only one really seems to show above the water's surface.

Anne takes in the view with me. The wind is mild and the evening is still remarkably warm. Eventually I look back at the throne to see it from this side.

Jesus! I almost fall of the edge as I take a few steps back, the memory of the last skeleton I encountered still fresh in my mind. Anne notices me stumble backwards and looks over, then looks at the frozen figure on the throne.

: Who do you think he was?

: A pirate.

:... He's wearing a red jacket.... Nick you don't think this is him do you?!

: Who?

: RedJack! If it is, then this must be the island where the Brethren ended up after their battle. Which might mean one of those ships down there has the treasure!

: (She seems to know a lot.) Let's not just to conclusion.... Besides even if this is that island.... The traitor still hasn't been found so the treasure is still cursed.

: Do you really believe that?

: .....

What would be the chances of that really being RedJack anyway? I glance closer at the old withered thing.

I spot something in its chest catching the last remnants of sunlight. Anne watches on as I fold back the jacket from the ribcage.

A key. Anne seems excited. I make up my mind to retrieve the thing. Still wary I reach my hand down and carefully close my fingers around the ornate grip of the key. A blinding light overwhelms me.

Suddenly dizzy I collapse besides the throne, the last thing I see is Anne's shocked face.

--------------------------
Ugh. Where....? I'm standing on some sort of beach. It's pitch black, freezing cold and thick fog covers everything. I hear a strange creaking sound behind me. Spinning around I draw my sword and see something huge moving in the fog along the ocean waves.

Oh hell no! I turn around to run.....only to end up standing on a sickly green ship. Justice walks out of the chocking fog his face ghostly white, his eyes glowing green.

With no words he strides over to me. I feel paralyzed, my feet won't move. When he at last stand in front of me, he raises his hand, pointing at the captains cabin.

Compelled, my legs make the journey on their own, the deathly silence is deafening. The door creaks open. A figure sits at the lone desk in the centre of the room. Shadows strangely covering his face. My feet propel me forward, I can feel my eyes bulging as the figure stands.

: So, it seems have a visitor. *ghastly echoing laugh* Welcome boy. I am RedJack. HAHAHA don't look so scared.

: Please...

: You must be clever, many men have died on this island. Many more died before they even got ashore. HAHAHA I would have expected nothing less of you.

: What... what do you mean?

: No time boy. We have business to discuss.

: What business.

: The reunion of the Brethren is only a few months away, and I still do not know whose dagger is in my back! *he glances at the door* You see that Justice has rejoined my crew.... that means only three of the Brethren are left.

: Only three?

: Yes. The traitor has proven his cunning. I do not know if the others will be able to stop him anymore. Two against one is not great odds. They should have stayed together from the start, but instead they descended into petty arguments and now the traitor is too close to winning.

: I... why am I here?

: You became a pirate to get rich did you not? Well, I'm going to give you a chance to be the wealthiest pirate of them all boy.

: (Every time someone promises things like this it ends badly for me.) Maybe I could just....

: *Raises both arms pointing at me, palms open* You are know entitled to a share of the treasure and you are charged to avenge me.

Green light suffuses one of my arms. A horrible chilling burn travels through that arm. I cry out and drop to my knees.

The green light dissipates and in it's place is a badass tattoo.

I struggle back to my feet, as RedJack watches, a sickly smile covering his bearded face.

: The treasure can be yours, but the only way to break the curse is to find the traitor.

: Why me?

: Aahh yes. I almost forgot. My daughter.... Annabelle. I tell you only this, protect her with your life because not even the afterlife will stop me from finding you if you fail.

: (FML! Wait... if she's his daughter, then I'm not his.... So why me??)

: Now wake, unless you be doomed to sail with us forever boy. I cannot keep you here any longer, it is dangerous for the living to be here at all.

With those words the world wobbles in place and the fog seeps in obscuring everything.

-----------------------------
Eyes closed I feel someone shaking me by my shoulders. Yep everything still hurts. I'm forced to open my eyes as I hear a high pitch voice screaming into my ear. Anne is directly above me her eyes worried.

: I'm awake, I'm awake! Cut out that yelling, please.

: Nick! What happened to you?

: I don't... know. I think I fell asleep or.... had a vision.

: A vision? All I saw was a burst of bright light and then you collapsed. Well... what did you see?

I consider not telling her as she already seems to think I'm a liar, but maybe I can use her excitement over finding RedJack to my advantage.

: I saw RedJack.

: RedJack!! Do you.... do you think it was his ghost? Because I didn't see anything like..... Nick! What, what's that on your arm?!

: *Looking at my arm*So it actually came through with me.

: Nick, that's the mark of the Brethren! How did you.... *awed* You really did see RedJack. Well what did he say? What did you see?

I gather myself up and rise from the ground, trying to work out some of the cramps in my arms and legs.

: I'm not sure, just a ghost ship and RedJack himself.

:....

: He said I had to find the traitor if I wanted any part of the treasure. He also.... well, he said that you were....

: That I was what?

: That you were his daughter.

: *Her face goes very still* RedJack? My father? But.

: Anne?

: He's dead then, I can't find him, I can't even..... *she looks down*

: He was betrayed Anne. He would've come back for your mother if he could have.

: *Looks up still trembling* You're right. Someone murdered him and he.... That means part of the revenge is mine Nick! We have to find a way of this island.

: Hold on. I know we have things to do, but I still haven't recovered from all the fights I've been in, I'm tired and hungry. We need time to think too. Let's at least stay up here for a few nights.

:.... Of course. Nick, I think I need to be alone for while.

She turns away from me and gazes out over the ocean.

I look at my hand, still clutching the key I took off of RedJack's remains. It's a wild guess but I decide to head back to the stone building with the watch tower. The chest is still sitting there. I put the key into the lock, it turns smoothly.

Inside is a book.

I put the key back in my pocket, that ruby in the handle might be worth quite a bit. Between that and the gold scepter I retrieved from the tunnels below, it seems I have built up a decent amount of loot. Eventually Anne walks inside, saying that she's going to go try find some fruit or catch a fish. Once she's gone, I lean back on the hammock and open up the book. Remarkably well preserved inside that chest, it turns out this is the diary of RedJack himself.

The map would have been handier if we had found it earlier but whatever. Flipping through the pages I find a few entries of interest.

September 16th, 1694
Every time the lash bites into my back, I vow to kill another one of these Spanish bastards. Days here move like a barnacle on a ship's hull; it seems like I have always been a slave on this ship, even though it's only been a few months. If it wasn't for Marquez, with his constant plans for escape, I would surely lose myself. He sits here beside me at this oar every day, sweating and misarable, just like the rest of us. But every day his mind is else where, plotting to make us free men again. I think he has an idea that just might work.

November 21st 1696
Days of plunder and war, what more glorious pursuit could men ask! Gold coins spill across my decks. My new ship is quick and deadly, my crew equally so. We sail wherever we please and all flee from our brutal reputation. I am now know to all as RedJack, the scourge of the Caribbean. According to rumours and legend I drink Spanish blood every time I catch one of their ships. So many other captains have joined with me but I only pick the best into my inner circle. The Brethren will pillage the sea until the end of time itself.

April 18th 1699
I have discovered an interesting secret today from one of my prisoners. One that will allow me to break into the Spanish treasury at Cartegena. One final great fight and then I can return to the woman I love, with riches enough for a true King. Planning between Marquez, Blackbeard and Justice I know we can pull it off. Then I might hand my ship over to one of them, let the tale of the Brethren continue to the fear of all.

There a few more entries, mostly repeating things I already know. About his betrayal and his last moments on this island as he layed his curse upon all those listening. On the last page there is a recipe of some sort for the "Drink of the Brethren". It seems fowl, but one day I may try it. Slowly my eyelids droop as I have my first peaceful sleep in what seems like weeks.

---------------------------
Anne and me spend two weeks just living on top of the volcano. I feel much better. There have been several arguments about how to get off the island, but neither of us know the best way to manage this. We could build a raft of course, however we have no idea where we are or where we should go. It seems like a risky move to me so object at every opportunity. She is right in the sense that we can't just stay up here as hermits forever. The days drag on.

---------------------------
I dig through my belongings for hundredth time, reading and re-reading RedJack's journal after Anne had finished with it. The scepter catches my eye. There's something so familiar about it. An idea strikes me. I have no interest in going back the gauntlet of traps bellow this plateau so I ask Anne to show me the path she used to get up here. We arrive back on the beach through an overall much more pleasant journey than the one I used to get up. Increasing my pace a little because of the woman's constant whining I make my way to the door at the base of the volcano, where we originally saw the altar on the water.

The door is the same as the one I used to get out from inside the Aztec dungeon. It opens just as easily once I insert the scepter into a nearby slot. Anne catches up to me and we both wander inside. I spot a torch held in bracket on one of the walls, which I remove for later, it might come in handy for starting a fire. At least this place isn't a death trap. Deeper inside the structure we come round to the area which we could see from the outside.

There's a small walkway that goes to the right, up some stairs and round a bend. I decide to walk down the central corridor first.

Not much to see except a sunken pirate ship and some remains of less preserved ships lying at the bottom of the ragged rocks.

Might as well see what's down the other passage, which was where Anne headed off to first.

I find her standing in front of some strange shell like object, at the top of the stairs, in a tiny room with a view of the surrounding area. Including the watery altar. Immediately I notice that the gigantic crustacean carcass has been decorated in a remarkably similar manner to that of the bottle like object I found in the crate on the beach.

After some careful investigation I realize the piece I have can connect to part of the larger whole. Upon completion it looks like a giant horn. YOLO I blow the horn.

The deep booming sound echoes and reverberates through the entire structure. Bits of loose rock fall from the ceiling, dust puffs up from the ground and swirls in miniature tornadoes. The sound is incredible.

: Nick!! The something moving in the water!

I move away from the horn and look out at the area around the RedJack's wrecked ship. Ripples flash across the water as something huge is stirs beneath the waves.

After finding nothing but rock to grasp, the horrible writhing testicles tentacles quickly retreat back into the water, leaving only a calm surface of blue.

: I think we just found out what happened to all those ships. I wonder if RedJack's curse somehow forced this creature to guard his treasure?

: Wouldn't surprise me.

: I bet it takes down all ships that come near the treasure even if no one blows the horn.

: Probably, this was clearly here from before RedJack ever found the island. The Aztecs probably used it for ritual sacrifices.... Anyway I think we've seen all there is to see here.

: So what now? I say we build that raft.

: Not yet, I have an idea.

I show her the torch I found earlier.

: We can use this to start a fire on the beach and hope that somebody spots it.

: More waiting around? What if its someone we don't want finding us that spots the smoke?

: It's still safer than trying our luck against the tide, lack of direction and Kraken all by ourselves. We just have to make sure to make the fire on the other side of the island. Won't help us much if the first ship along gets destroyed by that beastie.

She sullenly agrees, so we take one final look around, before going back to the beach. Once there, it only takes a short time to make a fire pit and ignite it. I sit down next to the fire. I wonder what she is thinking about standing there at attention. The tide gently laps against the sand nearby.

-------------------------
Elsewhere.

------------------------
And here is where we stop for today. Will our heroes escape the island? Will Nick be able to find the traitor? Will Anne get her revenge? Can the treasure be retrieved without being eaten by the Kraken? Where are the remaining Brethren? And is that really a fucking blimp/airship?

 

[Azira]

I opened this thread expecting raping and pillaging...

 

[Dreaad]

I opened this thread expecting raping and pillaging...

Does your mind not feel raped?

Are you not entertained?

 

[Azira]

Honestly, I skipped over most of the images and text. Was midly entertained by the skeleton.

 

[KickAss]

I hope that in the end the protagonist becomes the great pirate known as Neckbeard!

 

[lightbane]

Jesus, this looks like a really bad LSD trip... I love it!

 

[abnaxus]

 

[Dreaad]

And yeah guys sorry for two days and no update. There was an accident here, involving womyns and save files. Four cycled save files infact . But that's what you get for sharing technology with the gentler sex. Anyway, next update will prob be up tomorrow, or Tue at the latest. Go watch all five Pirates of the Caribbean or something to tide yourselves over.

 

[evdk]

Go watch all five Pirates of the Caribbean or something to tide yourselves over.

 

[Dreaad]

I'm back and here we all are once again, hurrah. When we last left our pair of heroes they had just built a fire on the beach of the island they were marooned on. Some distance away a rather large, crazy looking fellow with a candle holder attached to his head, had spotted the fire and was bringing his blimp round in the general direction of the smoke.

Sitting on that beach was certainly nerve racking. I had so many things to do and it felt like the time was slipping away. It doesn't help that Anne can't sit still, pacing all over the place, wandering up and down the beach, the waves filling up her sandy footprints. After a few hours my legs begin to cramp, just as I'm about to stand up and join Anne in her silent shuffling a dark shadow covers us both. I gaze up to sky....

A flying ship. With a man waving down at us. One of his hands some sort of metallic glove with a random assortment of junk sticking out of it.

Shiiiaaat, after skeletons, ghosts and a Kraken I'm not even surprised. The man yells something down at me and Anne. I don't understand a word of it but suddenly a rope ladder flies down and the bulky man descends, using only his good hand.

Once on the ground he wastes no time on pleasantries.

: What are you doing on this island?

I can see Anne out of the corner of my eye, standing slightly behind me, her jaw wide open.

: (I'm too tired to be pushed around or scared.)What the hell is that thing you are riding in?

: *Glances up at his ship* Beautiful, isn't she? I call it an airship.

: (Clever cookie.) How did you... I mean....?

: Experimentation, trial and error. I crashed five ships before I got it perfect. Now. What are you doing here?

: We got marooned.

: I saw the smoke from your fire.

: (No kidding.)

: Did your ship.... sink?

: No.

: No? Someone left you here then? Are you a criminal of some sort?

: To some, I guess I am.

: Hehe to some, I'm a babbling lunatic, so I guess it all depends on your point of view. *Suddenly serious* What were you accused of?

: Murder.

: Murder?.... Wait, are you the cannibal who escape from Port Royal?

: (I'm about to deny the cannibal part... but then I remember RedJack's diary, and how in the legends they said he drank Spaniard blood. Never too early to make a legend of my own I guess.) Yes.

: Well, well. Tell me what you know of Lanton Justice.

: (!) He's dead.

: So we heard. Killed in cold blood, just like the rest. Tell me, were you a part to that murder.

: No.

: So then, how did you know him?

: We were on his crew.

: I see. And did Justice tell you anything about the Brethren?

: (This guy isn't very careful. Then again he's got a flying ship full of men ready to fight.) You've got to help me.

: Help you. Why should I help you?

: (I decide to gamble.) *I roll up my sleeve and flash the tattoo in his direction*.

: Where the hell did you get that?! NO... no nevermind. You can tell me on the way to Blackbeard.

He beckons both me and Anne to climb up in front him. Once we reach the deck of the ship, we are quickly disarmed and led away to bellow deck. After some time I feel a strange sensation, which I can only assume is the ship beginning to move.

Eventually the gruff man comes down and we share some information. Apparently his name is Rockfish and he and Blackbeard have been looking hard for the traitor. They were meant to meet up with Justice but he was killed before he made it to Blackbeard's fort. I briefly consider how much better things could have turned out if we had never stopped at Port Royal, was Justice really so desperate to see that fortune teller....

------------------

What follows is a few days of travel. I try to learn all I can about the "airship" to pass the time. Anne is mostly silent and brooding, not very good company. I decide that there is no way I will ever learn how to re-create this flying ship, so make up my mind to keep Rockfish alive, he'd be a useful asset to any captain. Eventually we reach another island, a large wooden fort stands several stories high next to one of the cliffs. All sorts of platforms, tunnels, boxes and even something that looks like a very unsafe railroad can be seen surrounding the fort. Rockfish carefully guides the airship next to a dock several meters above the ground, his crew tie down the ship and start unloading crates. I follow Anne into the main building entrance.

It's some sort of warehouse. Loaded with gun powder, cannon balls, muskets, barrels and I what I can only assume is the other supplies necessary to keep this pirate port running. Rockfish watches me as I take a walk around, he doesn't seem in any sort of hurry.

: What do you think? I designed most of it. Didn't build it by myself of course. It's completely secure, unless you know the ways in.

: (Really... cause it looks like a wooden fort with multiple ways in...) When can I see Blackbeard?

: Well, it's best with Blackbeard to wait until he's in the right mood. He's got a little bit of a temper on him.

: Are you afraid of him?

: Not for myself, no, he's my best friend. But he breaks... things and...he kills people. And I rather like you two so far.

: I'm just glad to be off that island.

: We should go on up to the second floor and see who's around.

: I don't see any stairs.

: Oh yeah, follow me.

He casually walks passed me and slides open a wooden door behind which is a wooden closet. Rockfish walks in and beckons me inside. I have no idea what's going on but as I step inside Rockfish moves some sort of lever and the little closet begins to move upwards.

When the box stops moving we step out. This floor is basically a giant bar. Multiple people are sitting around drinking.

: Here we are. *He looks around* I see this place is jumping as usual. Blackbeard hasn't talked to anyone lately, he's been stewing in his office, ever since we heard about Justice.

There's a bunch of stomping and shouting from the floor above. Everyone stops talking and looks up, faces scared.

: The storm will break before long. I don't like the sound of him today.

: We can't wait that long you know. The reunion isn't very far away.

: .... I guess I could.... Do you think you can mix him a drink?

: What kind of drink?

: That'll be up to you. *Shrugs* he likes to judge people based on what they drink. Maybe if you make something that catches his attention, he won't kill you.

: (FFS) What kind of....

: Don't make the mistake of thinking that Blackbeard is just a loud drunk. Many people have made that mistake. He probably already knows you're here and he probably can even guess why. Anyway, you'd better get busy. I'll take your drink up when you're finished.

These people are crazy. I look over at the bar, guess I could use that recipe I found in the back of RedJack's diary. That would probably catch Blackbeard's attention, hopefully in a good way.

: Expecting to see Blackbeard, are you? Don't hold your breath. I've been waiting for days.

: Who are you?

: None of your business.

The why the fuck did you start talking to me asshole. Bah, whatever. Wait! No fucking way....

: By GOD, scrub, it's damn good to see you! HARHAR. I was afraid that you and Sullivan might have died on that island. Felt like a coward, for lettin' Bone maroon you like that.

: You saved out lives.

: It was the least I could do. Didn't want to have to drag your dead body around. Them bastards always make me carry the corpses. Watcha doin' here?

: Rockfish bought us.

: That crazy bastard? With the flying ship?! Thing gives me the jeebies. Have you seen that harpoon thing he built here for defense?

: No.

: He won't let anyone ride in it. Keeps sayin' it's not a toy.... Say how'd you do on that island anyway? There wasn't anyone but you and Sullivan. She sure is a pretty one. *Dreamy look*

: Err, her name is Anne. It wasn't great.

: HARHARHAR yeah I seen 'er kill plenty of men. Better be careful aye scrub. HARHAR. Now if you'll excuse me I'm busy. *He leans down and inhales deeply from his cauldron* We can talk later.

: Hold on, what's that your breathing?

: BY GOD me head hurts. This here scrub is sulfur. Helps me think.

: ... (I need some for RedJack's recipe.) Can I have some of your sulfur?

: I guess, scrub. Just a little, though, I'm using it.

He hands some sulfur my way. So nice having friends in high places. I look over at Cross who is meditating, while flexing his muscles.

: Nick. How have you been?

: You threw us overboard....

: We should not have done that. I do not think you are guilty.

: Should've said that during the trial.

: I am sorry I didn't speak up on your behalf. Bone has spent his last days as captain as far as I'm concerned. The man is insane.

: What are you all doing here, and where is Bone.

: We are hiding from the Royal Navy. Bone made us fire into an English merchant ship. So we broke our only privateer charter. Now we are wanted by both the Spanish and the English. Me they want especially, a witch as well as a pirate.

: ... (OH GOD, please don't tell me he cross dressed as a fortune teller that night!)

: As for Bone, he's around somewhere. Waiting for his meeting with Blackbeard. With him as our spokesman, I think Blackbeard might kills us all.

Anne spots us and makes her way over, grinning broadly. I leave them all chatting together, I wonder if Lyle will try his luck. As always it's me who has to do all the real work. There's some nice murals on the walls as I walk behind the bar.

So lets see here.

One liter of rum.

Two fistfuls of salt and pepper.

One fistful of Sulfur.

One brick of charcoal... the bar doesn't have any, so I go back down stairs in the elevator and find some in one of the crates.

One tablespoon syrup of ipecac. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Syrup_of_ipecac)

Dash of pepper sauce.

And two cups of ale.

(Don't make this at home kids, you will die. Though I suppose you will die a glorious member of the Brethren.) I take the tasty smelling brew over to Rockfish.

: Let me taste the drink. If you made something horrible Blackbeard will cut your head off. *Sips* Huh... I remember this... that's clever Nick! I'll take it up to Blackbeard right away.

He walks into the elevator and it slowly moves upwards. The flowery faggot man walks back into my line of sight.

: Do you really think a drink will get him down here?

: What's it to you?

: MY valuable time being wasted is what it is to me. You have no idea how long I've waited!

I hear the elevator begin it's decent.

The faggot man keeps complaining loudly as door slides open and out steps....

: HERE I AM, SHITSKULL, STANDING ON YOUR BRAINS, HAHAHAHA!

: Hehehe.

: NOW, WHO MADE THIS GODAWFUL DRINK. *Points at his mug with the pistol*

: Oh....*Gulp*

Cliffhanger much. So we finally meet Blackbeard. Basically a neckbeard shitlord. Next time... the assassins are back and Rockfish shows of his toy....

 

[abnaxus]

I suppose Blackbeard kills you if you make the wrong drink?

I like brewing puzzles, Syberia has some too.

 

[Idiott]

He looks like Bone's gay brother. This can't be Bone, right?

 

[Dreaad]

I suppose Blackbeard kills you if you make the wrong drink?

I like brewing puzzles, Syberia has some too.

Nah Rockfish just doesn't take the drink up =( and you start again. Syberia is a great game.

 

[Dreaad]

What was I talking about again? Oh oh right Blackbeard. Nick had finally gotten away from RedJack's/Aztec's/Kraken's island on an "airship". He traveled to a nearby pirate fort, made a drink, that I can tell you in all seriousness, is highly unpleasant. This drink was used to gain the attention of the infamous Blackbeard, whom upon arrival had shot a man from behind.

Blackbeard is certainly an imposing man, all buckles, leather and beard. Multiple weapons in multiple locations, a mug of the horrific brew I had made for him in one hand and a pistol, still warm, in his other. My resolve to be a badass pirate was suddenly draining away.

: NOW, WHO MADE THIS GODAWFUL DRINK. *Points at his mug with the pistol*

I see people shifting away from me and Blackbeard. Lyle off in the corner is sitting with his tub of sulfur, a stupid grin on his face as he looks on.

: *Gulp* That was me.

: YOU MADE THIS BLOODY GODAWFUL DRINK? COME ON THEN, STEP UP, SCUMBAG, LET ME TAKE A LOOK AT YOU. (I could think of now other way to translate the fact that this guy ALWAYS yells everything.)

: *I step forward*

: THIS IS THE WORST DRINK I'VE HAD IN YEARS. IT'S THE SAME CRAP PISS REDJACK USED TO MAKE US DRINK. HIS "SPECIALTY". YOU'D THINK HE COLLECTED THE SHIT STRAIGHT FROM THE LATRINES.....

: ....

: HAHAHAHA AHH, THE MEMORIES THIS BRINGS BACK! RUM FOR EVERYONE! WE DRINK TO CAPTAIN REDJACK!

I start reaching for a mug of ale from a newly opened casket someone just rolled in...

: I'LL TAKE THAT *he takes my mug* HERE, YOU MADE THE BLOODY THING, YOU'LL HAVE TO DRINK THE REST OF IT HAHAHA!

: Oh... Thank you sir.

: SIR HE SAYS, HAHA! *stops laughing* NOW, WE HAVE THINGS TO TALK ABOUT.

He leads me to a relatively empty corner of the room. Or rather it empties as he approaches. He takes a seat and invites me to sit opposite him. Pirates look on in horror, awe and amusement as I sit at Blackbeard's table. They quickly pretend to not be listening when he looks around.

: Uh...

: FOR ONE THING ROCKFISH SAYS YOU HAVE A REAL BRETHREN TATTOO. AND, HE BELIEVES THAT STORY YOU TELL.

: What do you believe?

: I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO BELIEVE. I WONDER... DO YOU KNOW WHO OR WHAT YOU ARE?

: .... Just a pirate passing through I guess.

: HA, THAT TATTOO MAKES YOU MORE THAT JUST A PIRATE. BESIDES THAT I'VE HEARD YOUR NAME BEFORE.

: Port Royal?

: YES. MY DREAMS HAVE ALSO BEEN TROUBLED OF LATE. I BELIEVE I DREAMT OF JUSTICE ON WHAT MUST HAVE BEEN THE NIGHT HE DIED. WHO WERE THOSE MEN YOU FOUGHT?

: You know as much as I do.

: WHO THE HELL ARE THESE PEOPLE, THAT THEY CAN KILL THE BRETHREN?

: I only know that I've seen them twice. (This guy is really all over the place rambling, must be the alcohol.)

: I'LL MAKE SOMEONE PAY.... BUT IT WON'T HELP, THEY'RE ALL DEAD ALREADY EXCEPT FOR ROCKFISH AND ME. *he closes his eyes and rumbles* I'VE FAILED REDJACK AND THE BRETHREN AGAIN.

: Again?

: YES, AGAIN. I'LL TELL YOU THE WHOLE UGLY STORY.... *sigh* THOSE DAMNED SEWERS IN CARTAGENA, WHERE WE RAN WITH THE TREASURE.

He starts drinking and talking, his voice grows much softer.

: I've made my own kingdom here, and vowed to keep everyone in it safe from betrayal, but that doesn't change the past.

: You still don't have any idea who the traitor was?

: *His eyes droopy* No, all this time... and no progress on that mystery. *He takes another drink* But it seems the answer has something to do with you. *His head nods and snaps back up* Now that you're hereee, well, we don't have much time to come up with a plan. *His eyes close* The mooost impoortant thiiin....

What the fuck, man can't hold his liquor for shit. I look around.....

Seeing all the pirates laying around unconscious. Oh FML, that stupid newly opened cask of ale. Thank God I was forced to drink RedJack's "specialty". I have a really really bad feeling about this.

------------------------------
Elsewhere.

------------------------------
Rockfish slides down the rope in the elevator shaft, one handed, breathing hard.

: We're being attacked!

: Yeah.

: Some of the others were still working outside, they're fighting on the beach.

: We shou.....

: Quite! I need to stay here and make an antidote to whatever this is *he gestures around* they're not dead but I might be here for a while.

: Ok, what can ....

: Quite! You take the minecar!

: The what?!

: Minecar. You'll see it when you go up the stairs over there by the bar. You sit down inside it and pull the lever.

: Then what?

: No time! Go!

Oh WTF is this shit. I turn around and sprint up the stairs, jumping two at a time. Attacked by who? He made it sound like there's an army invading or something. Panting I reach the top of the stairs and see..... what the fuck! Bah what choice do I have. Jumping inside the fucking thing I pull the lever.

Ok.... I don't know where to start. This thing is basically a roller coaster ride.... that stops at certain intervals. It usually stops in such a positions that you can see inside one of the floors of the fort and either; a chunk of the mountain/caves; or beach. When this vehicle is stopped you have full 360 control, with gigantic input lag and smoothing and like an "ice/sliding effect" so if you move your mouse, the view moves after your mouse and then slides passed where it should have stopped.

Now. The weapon itself is some sort of cannon that is meant to be a harpoon gun I think . However!! Whatever it shoots out, looks nothing like harpoons but like giant nails. Wait there's more . Either due to shitty programming or maybe on purpose.... this thing has no cooldown period. IT SHOOTS AS FAST AS YOU CAN CLICK!

So basically this sequence is Nick on a roller coaster with a KPV heavy nail gun vs Arabian assassins, who throw their scimitars/daggers and bomb flasks at you. You can shoot the assassins or their weapons... to deflect or blow them up depending if its a bomb or not. You have the regenerating 2hp system. The assassins come from all directions, and they don't throw that slowly.

HOLY SHIT that was a crazy ride! I must've killed at least sixty of the dudes. That should help out the guys on the beach quite a bit. This thing is traveling kind of fast after that downward slope but it should stop soon so.....

OH SHIT! ROCKFIIIIIIIIIIIISHHHHHHHH!!!!

Uh my head! This pain somehow feels familiar. I suddenly tense as I hear footsteps approaching. No time for ruminating now. I scramble to my feet and.....

Bone: Aah! You.... but.... I.... how did you get here.

I groan and draw my sword. Sadly my pistol seems to have escaped it's holster during that poorly executed stopping technique Rockfish devised.

: By God, you haunt me like a ghost!

: Bone, the assassins.... I got a lot of them. Rockfish said there was fighting on the beach, is it over?

: ... Yes it's over, blasted useless black robed bastards!

: (Wait.) What did you say?

: I should've done this my way, but "he" insisted.

: Bone!

: Yes little Dove it was me who led them here. Not that they were any use in the end. At least I get the pleasure of cutting your wings.

: Why? ....Justice told me....

: Ah yes "Justice", Brethren this and reunion that. I served him loyally for years and he just kept spouting nonsense about his old crew, treating me like trash. *Glances at my tattoo* Looks like you've joined the precious Brethren yourself. Worthless old men.

: Bone, I have to thank you.

: For what?

: Remember the first piece of advice you ever gave me Bone.

: ?

: *Smile* "I want you to hate me, so it will be easier in the end." I'm going to enjoy this.

: *Scowls* I always wanted to kill a member of the Brethren!

With those words he attacks, a lot.

He's really fast and strings together 5-7ish hit combos until he runs out of stamina. Then he blocks a lot. God I hate this bastard. We trade blows for long while, both making mistakes.

Still it feels like I surprised him and if he really was a better swordsman than Justice it looks like now I am just as good. Suddenly he becomes desperate or angry, hard to tell with this guy. (Lowered to 5hp maybe?) Either way he attacks even faster, pausing only for the briefest moments and recovering stamina incredibly fast!

Even after using up both health potion gulps, (I got a re-supply from Rockfish on his airship.) I'm still struggling to keep up. Still after that last brutal attack he can't have much left in him, my only hope is to finish it now before he recovers again.

Bone sensing defeat, attempts a final sweep to fend me off so that he can run....

But I have fought Lyle, assassins, city authorities and a skeleton. I will become the greatest pirate king of them all!

Standing over Bone, still breathing weakly, I kneel down, smash his head with the pommel of my blade. Then thinking quickly, I chop his arms off and throw them into the bushes. Then wipe some of my own blood, from Bone's handiwork, across my mouth. Just as I stand and begin wiping down my sword, Lyle rushes from around some rocks. He glaces down at Bone's corpse, grimaces and spits.

: Bone finally got what he deserved. Ye got that traitorous goatbugger good! HARHAR. Now ye listen up, I know you like the blood, but ye gotta stop eating a dead man's hands.

Before he can add any more, Blackbeard makes an appearance from the same direction as Lyle.

: SKULL AND GUTS, WHAT A MESS! THERE WAS A LOT OF BLOOD IN THAT SCRAWNY LITTLE GUY. HAHA. LISTEN NICK, GOOD JOB ON THOSE JANIZARIES.

: Who are they?

: They're just mercenary thugs, but after Rockfish got his hands on one of them. We've now got a line on where they came from. I'm going there, and I'm going to cut some information out of somebody.

: Then... where am I going?

: Hmmm. You're going to have to go to Cartagena, I think besides that girl you know, you might find some answers there. One of these idiots had a bottle with him, a bottle that I know comes from Cartagena.

: Yeah?

: Yes. I'm going to be taking Justice's old crew with me as well as most of my own deadbeats. You take Rockfish, he's a friggin' genius *glances at the broken minecar* and that girl, she makes me uncomfortable.

: Alright.

: GOOD. WE'LL MEET AT REDJACK'S ISLAND IN THREE WEEKS! AND FINISH THIS BUSINESS OF THE REUNION ONCE AND FOR ALL.

Blackbeard walks away still talking to himself loudly. I glance over at Lyle who shrugs. Picking up my pistol I make my way back to the pirate fort, find Anne and Rockfish. It doesn't take long for us to get organized and ready to depart on the airship.

On the way Rockfish outlines that one of the best places to find secrets in Cartagena is on the sewers. FML.

Time for me to rest my weary brain I think. Episode 11 will of course feature everyone's favorite setting from any game ever! Sewers! Thanks for reading.

 

[Baron Dupek]

In before tranny doublecross.

I see what you did here...

 

[abnaxus]

How does this run on modern operating systems?

 

[Idiott]

I wonder if by any chance Marquez didn't drown and turns out to be a traitor, that would be unexpected.

 

[Dreaad]

How does this run on modern operating systems?

Anything past windows xp and you're not going to get anywhere. Windows xp you should be fine in compatibility mode for windows 95... as long as your monitor can do 640 by 480 (I think some newer laptops can't.) Ideally you just have an older machine stashed away somewhere with windows 95 .

Lastly this game never had any support what so ever. So if it doesn't work/you can't save/sound is fucked etc, you're on your own, no online help anywhere that I've seen.

 

[abnaxus]

At least Discworld Noir which is equally impossible to get to run on modern machines had a PS1 port so it can be run in emulator nowadays.

 

[abnaxus]

 

[Dreaad]

Sorry the KGB servers were raided by the CIA and they took away crucial data...

Actually the 3rd disk had scratches, which caused problems, then I forgot. I'll see of I can solve the problem with toothpaste... or try finding some place where I can download the third disk reliably (old games website, the download goes at like 5kb per second). Thanks for reminding me though.