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I could probably post another update today, but it would be very short (75 screenshots, with around 1/3 of them depiciting talking to fucking elves). Do you guys want it, or do you prefer to wait 1-2 days for a longer (125+ screenshots) update?
Let me know and I will check back in around 2 hours.
EDIT: Due to lukewarm reception of the above idea, I have decided to post a longer update later.
We should have probably titled the previous update 'Ultimate Pest Control'.
'Making JES Weep' would also work.
Update #69: Trail of Blood
I made sure nobody will have bad memories of my visit there.
The local svirfnebli security forces are now expected to receive a significant equipment upgrade.
There a re still a few loose knots to tie up.
I have a job for you, Kitthix. The only one you're good at. Dying.
I think I've stirred something...
Ah, not the pink stuff!
Protection from magical weapons is rapidly becoming my favourite spell.
I wish it lasted a little bit longer, though...
Time to.... Shit, there's more of them here!
As retreats go, I have seen better ones.
Death Count: 305
Load game.
I'm not even mad. They are demon knights - some resistance is expected.
Let me adjust my approach.
Come to me, I want to fight you all at once!
You cannot possibly succeed. Your protection will wear off before you kill them.
NotIfIUseSuperHasteFromRingOfGaxx!
TheseCriticalHitsReallyHelpALot.
Argh...Yes! By the skin of my teeth!
+1 swords? Really? That's disappointing.
Oh?
Hmm...
Finally an item that is an actual upgrade.
This is only possible because these guys have a pretty elaborate (and long) 'getting hit' animation that stops them for half a second.
Boots of speed also help.
Go back to daddy!
What? Where did the fish come from? Ah, whatever.
Here's a full-screen nude image of Adalon, for all her fans.
Majestic.
Let me prepare before I talk to her.
That should just about do it.
Here's where you are wrong.
You can't kill me.
You can't even try.
Let's see.
Mercury blood. Cool.
Convenient, although unnecessary...
...because the gate is already open.
On second thought, I should probably wear my battle gear before I try to leave.
-10 AC is nothing to write home about, but it is decent enough for some drow fighting.
And they just can't wait to get slaughtered!
I am going to miss this place.
Whoa! 62 damage! I love this belt!
Mind if I join the party?
I love playing with the drow, but they break so easily...
Now, this is just not fair. Don't worry, bro, I won't let those elves kill you.
There.
Yeah, sure.
This looks like a close call.
And it was a close call, but in the end, the elven fuckers did not kill-steal any of them! Go me!
Yeah, Ethan. I already know.
Me! Me! Let me help!
Those crits just keep happenning!
FUCK YOU AND YOUR ETHAN!
Farewell, Underdark. I've had a great time here and will always recommend you as the best vacation spot ever!
Nah, the constant treachery was actually fine. I enjoyed it.
'Collaborator'. That's rich.
Can I just kill them?
Nope.
Why not? I've just slaughtered a whole city.
Just stay on the rails.
Let me tell you, the drow should not expect reinforcements from Ust Natha anytime soon...
What a jerk.
So, I was only brought to you so you could tell me I will be brought to someone else? Fucking waste of time.
I should be able to kill them all. There's not even that many of them...
I hate elves!
You are an elf!
That's your fault!
I just left because there was nothing to do there anymore.
Why do I follow Irenicus?
Because he stole your soul.
Ok.... and I need that why exactly? I mean, I seem to be doing just fine without it...
I think if you do not get it back, you will die eventually.
Fair enough.
This is getting ridiculous.
I have some urgent business to attend to in Trademeet.
I FUCKING DON'T CARE!
Fine. What do you want me to do?
Uh-huh.
Oh, don't give that 'your life' crap. I could destroy all of you.
No! No! I don't want to know! I want to go away now!
Very interesting. Except, it isn't.
We actually have to ask for help at this point - all dialogue options are a variant of that.
How do you know I will need those?
Ah, yeah sure. 'We have no idea you're going to fight vampires, but we have these stakes and holy water prepared. Y'know, just in case.' BULLSHIT!
Yeah, I will definitely use my freedom to go. Like, immediately.
tl;dr: Elves got invaded and they need some magical lantern, which Bodhi took, to stage a counterattack. We're supposed to get the lantern back.
This level-up is a result of me needing to replay a section of the game and meeting more Kuo-Toa on the second go.
That's a nice surprise.
I am awesome.
Saving throws and spells - we like improving those.
Evasion? Really?
It is not he best, but I like to have a couple of them for some fights.
Area completed.
That was pretty random.
Yeah, I keep forgetting to screenshot these.
I just can't wait to get my hands on my stash again.
What the fuck?
Oh, FFS, I don't have time for this!
Fuck you, asshole! You think you can talk shit to me just because you've brought friends?
First of all, you can't even see me.
Note that you can actually skip this encounter if you travel invisible - the dialogue does not trigger then.
Here, have some horrid wilting!
You like that?! Just wait, there's more!
Here's a litle trick I've picked up recently!
Pretty hot, eh?
I guess he's not going on an adventure any more.
And here's something a little bit more classic.
Still alive? They're pretty stubborn, I'lll give them that.
However, I can do this all day!
Burn!
Icewind Dale sucks!
Since Bruenor is now separated from the other two...
Here's a little something between your ribs!
Fuck, he's a tough guy.
Don't you come any closer!
Yes! I hope you're going to special dwarven hell for being killed with an arrow, by an elf.
Disappointing generic loot.
The other two need a different approach, because of their magic resistance.
Go, brosword! Slaughter the bitch!
Goddamn token females.
Die, race traitor!
Let's see wht they had...
Oh, nice!
I remember that we switched proficiencies to short bow to be able to use this one. Seems like a lifetime ago. And we probably won't even switch to it after all.
Invisibility once per day? Please...
We already know these.
This is not as impressive as it used to be back in th day.
It still fits me nicely, though.
Shit.
The AC bonus is nice, but other than that, also pretty shit.
Simulacrum! That's always nice to find.
A 2D4 damage warhammer? Ok, I guess.
Back on the trail.
Stash, here I come!
I don't fucking believe this! WHAT NOW?
Lesser being? Fuck you!
Nah, I'm keeping the blade. I'm gonna shove it up Havarian's arse someday.
These guys are pretty annoying to fight with their haste and invisilibty.
However, they have a tendency to gather in one spot if they don't see you...
Consider this a warm welcome to the Prime Material, bitches!
Although I expect our relations to cool down significantly, and very soon!
Stay frosty!
This is my boomstick!
Shit, shit! Still too many of them.
That's better.
That was a Death Spell, in case someone doesn't know.
Easy pickings.
And all done.
Ah, they've brought gifts. Heartwarming.
Severing limbs and heads? I like the sound of that.
---
Next time: We're going to get really crafty. (Crafty? Get it?)
Uh... Watcher's Keep seems to be the most popular option so far.
This was one of the most funny updates yet: from kill-stealing from the elves to mopping the floor with Drizzt & Co to the githyanki banter. Even the conversation options with Ethan Elhan were in-character.
The elves are so annoying that killing them all feels tempting. You can't do it now or you'll be stuck, but wouldn't it be funny if an accident were to happen to Elhan once you're in Suldanessalar ?
The elves are so annoying that killing them all feels tempting. You can't do it now or you'll be stuck, but wouldn't it be funny if an accident were to happen to Elhan once you're in Suldanessalar ?
MicoSelva
You’ve drawn me out of lurking mode with your excellent LP. Keep it up.
As for the next quest, I vote for Watcher’s keep. But the first order of business should of course be the, film noir style narrated, completion of the human skin armor.
This is why getting Tansheron's Bow in the previous update was pretty much irrelevant.
Blacksmithing++
Insta-kills efreeti? Sweet!
Yeah, good luck to us actually remembering this feature.
A couple more and I will be able to forge these myself.
This is not Skyrim.
I love this one.
By the way, it seems that Solaufein's cloak did not turn into dust after we left the Underdark. Maybe we can use it at some point.
And he's still not done. Can we do something to change today into tomorrow?
Well, there are these three new areas...
Are they any good?
No, but they will pass the time.
Fine, I'll take them.
Looks idyllic. I am almost expecting gibberlings to charge at me from the trees.
Or this.
How do you think? Did I already forget that Wave insta-kills efretti at this point? I sure did!
Oh, fuck you!
Goddamnit.
The appearance of a Dao is not much of a help here.
DIE!
And done.
This was quite an easy area. Nice loot too.
We are not quite done here yet.
Oh yes, we are.
A wyvern too?
No wonder nobody ever comes to this place.
I stand corrected.
Suddenly, it all looks pretty bad.
Every time I see this spell cast, it is like a promise of pain. A lot of pain.
I believe this might be the right time to execute a speedy retreat.
Oh my. What are the odds of encountering a random hostile sorcerer that is powerful enough to cast Time Stop?
I can't say I have missed mephits, especially mist mephits.
There's too many of them!
I love the unfazed deer in the background.
Our cheese levels have been insufficient.
Death Count: 306
Load game.
Did you save after I killed the mephit. Tell me you did.
Uh, no.
Fuck!
This fight needs a more serious approach.
Come on...
Let me gain some ground while they fry.
Oh, for fuck's sake!
There we go, fixed!
What? No!
Well, that was not fair.
Death Count: 307
Loading.
Obviously, I cannot fight them like this.
Time to get smart.
We shall skip the obligatory shoe-phone joke.
Choke on this!
Good old cloud kill.
This archer is the most annoying of them, except maybe the mage.
Still too many of them are alive.
Ok, that is better.
Oh, they even lined up to get lightning-fireballed with Staff of the Magi.
Alright, bring the noise!
Down you go.
With the mage and the archer dead, the rest is just cleaning.
Mwahahahaha! Slaughter!
And right when our stoneskin expired.
Let me guess: they dropped nothing that would be interesting at this point in the game.
Generic magical plate mail.
Time Stop scroll! Do we have it already?
Yes.
Shit.
Meh, more crap.
Seems like it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Awesome+++
Does anyone know if increasing Set Traps allows you to place more traps or if they maybe deal more damage?
I am invincible!
Some claim this ability is underpowered, but I have found +6 AC bonus for 5 turns to be very useful at times - pity you have to get lesser Evasion first.
Moving on.
Orcs? For real? Orcs?
I hope that's not all.
Somewhat better.
I wonder if you can clad your entire party in Ankheg armor in this game.
Why would you want to?
To larp insect people?
Yeah, sure.
Oh, I hate these.
Why exactly?
No loot.
Also, this fucking shit.
I feel somewhat dizzy now...
Blood loss.
Give me a fucking break!
Staying alive by outhealing the damage - that is some old-school gameplay right here.
Whew.
FUCK!
Good thing this game does not have potion toxicity mechanic.
Sniped!
What's next? Poison mist mephit?
It's really misty out here today!
That was a crimson death, not a mist.
Bite me.
Area completed, I guess.
I hope this is the last one?
Thankfully, yes.
Can't see shit in here.
Oh yeah, just what I wanted.
Fighting random monsters with barely any context. Have I stepped into an Icewind Dale game at some point?
Stop annoying Josh Sawyer, or he will not make a good PoE for you.
Like I want to slog through his ultra-balanced snorefest.
Like you have any choice in the matter.
Oh, come on, it's raining! How can mists still be out in this weather?
Fuck you!
FUCK YOU!
And I don't want to see you ever again!
Slaughtering wildlife. That's some regress.
I don't even like killing animals!
Goddamnit.
What in sweet fuck...
Should I remember Safana?
I do not know. Should you?
Fuck, this place is so dull, I might as well go and check it out. I might at least see Coran slaughtered, so it won't be entirely wasted.
And I somehow managed to get here ahead of Coran. FFS.
How exactly did they know I would come here? Even I did not know that before recently...
Women.
Warning: we are now entering creepy territory.
Furry romance? Damnit, Bioware!
Alright, it is time for everyone to calm down.
Wait, you're supposed to be confused!
Magic resistance. We love it. We hate it.
Death Count: 308
Reloading.
I hate these damn dogfuckers.
They want a piece of me? They will dull their teeth.
This is already after the dialogue. We left Coran, to, uh, tank for us, and moved away to the side.
And tank he did.
Drawing wolfweres one at a time.
And moving in after casting confusion, mostly not to lose any XP from kennel infighting.
This is going much better this time.
And done.
Noooooo! Fuck this place!
GTFO!
Say what?
I could somewhat understand being a dragon cultist... But wyvern? Really?
We manage to score a backstab against the cultist, but he survives that.
And then gets immune to magical weapons.
We kill time by killing baby wyvern.
These weapon protection spells don't work nearly long enough for anyone.
You have GOT to be kidding me!
Seriously! No more of these, okay?
It is not like I am summonning them. Endure. In enduring grow stronger.
How can this wildlife even survive with all these mists and crimson deaths around...
What a blast from the past.
Guess they were obsolete.
Whoa, a cave? Color me surprised.
Kuo-Toa? Whaaaa-?
And there's a bunch of them too.
Aren't they native to Underdark?
Random monster spawner knows no borders.
Random monsters don't drop unique loot.
Not that it's good or anything.
Seriously, I have had enough of this place already.
Can we go now?
Sure.
Right after you defeat these gnolls!
Not funny.
Also, done.
Area completed!
Time to go and grab my new shit.
Uh, okay? Why did you give me the armor, then?
You do realize, I had to kill a dragon to get that blood, right? And that you are going to die now?
Suit yourself.
See, humans are good for something after all.
I think we broke the saving throws bonus (we should get much higher bonus than +3, as the armor alone gives +4).
85% magic resistance.
The -6 AC is somewhat lacking, however, so I am not sure if we will be running around like this all the time. Especially that wearing the armor means a 10% spell failure chance (actually, that is potentially hilarious).
---
Next time: check the next quest selection details below.
Let us check if trolling by Insane Psychic can derail The Codex from his path to glory horrible death.