Let's awaken Dragon Age: Awakening! (COMPLETED!)

[taplonaplo]

It would be awesome if the Darkspawn was just bluffing, but considering that it's a Bioware game, there's 0 chance of that happening .

 

[Ovg]

He's not and the castle will fall if Shepard won't go save it.

 

[Erebus]

I don't know much about Dragon Age, but... is the Mother Morrigan ?

 

[TripJack]

the choice is clear comrade commander

the city must be cleansed of its uninteresting and inept populous, not to mention its bland architecture

 

[Jaedar]

 

[DarthBehemoth]

The Codex has decided:
AMARANTHINE SHALL BURN!

This is wrong. And if there's even one innocent person in there... we can't just--

(Persuade) What about the Keep? You want to abandon the people there?

For fucks sakes. Can't we burn the city already?

(Persuade) No, we need you. We have bigger battles to fight.

Codexer 1, Sigrun 0

JUSTICE also dissaproves

(Persuade) We cannot pursue JUSTICE at the cost of everything else.

Hooray for spirits who don't know anything about our world!

Let me just get my camera...

Where did I put the damn thing..

Must be around somewhere...

I still had it yesterday... Ah. Found it

The destruction of Amaranthine, isn't it beautiful? :twisted:

* * * *

Itsa me! Codexer!

The Walls have been bloodied, but the worst is yet to come.

A city lies in flames to bring me here. Let's make it count.

Wanna see the pictures?

I... I...

Are the preparations and repairs complete?

Aye, Commander. There will be no Ogres busting through your walls anytime soon.

What men do we have in reserve?

We're ready. Take your positions.

All right. TO BATTLE!

Hah. Unlikely

The battle for Vigil's Keep is similiar to the battle of Denerim in Origins. You can call in reinforcements to aid you. But we're EXTREME, so we won't need them.

We're aided in the battle by buggy pathing trapping most of the Darkspawn in the gates

The siege isn't over, though

looks like Varel's having fun

Varel 0, Big scary Ogre 1

Die, you overgrown Super Mutant!

Not yet. But soon

Don't die Varel. You're a potential meat shield.. I mean ally

Where's the bleeding medic.

Then you haven't seen my midget-proof walls

The battle continues..

There's the ogre

And after a lengthy battle, Sigrun strikes the killing blow.

The battle is won. But the Mother is still out there.

Given time they'll build another army. We must attack

Fuck you, midget

HELL YEAH!

I'll travel light and fast

That's it for now!
NEXT UPDATE: We travel to the Mother's lair and finish this LP once and for all!

 

[Gondolin]

How much blood does this guy have? That's a fucking lake there!

 

[Multiple Sarcasm]

Anders: - Place 1 is important! You can't burn it!
GW Shepard: - (Persuade) What about Place 2?
Anders: - You're right! Place 1 sucks!

BioWare's writing just gets awesomer and awesomer...

Okay, what kind of joker worked on "her" face? Was he getting "considerably prodded" at the time? Is he a blind amputee with a Parkinson's disease? Does he get paid more than $1/h? Did he work at Bethesda, at some point? There must be a story behind so much 'fucked up' concentrated in such a simple job.

 

[lightbane]

How much blood does this guy have? That's a fucking lake there!

EXTREME DRAMA!!!

Justice: INNOCENT PEOPLE ARE GOING TO DIE!!
Shepard: No, you must come with me and forget those people, they're dead anyways.
Justice: Ok.

I like how you can convince the fucking spirit of JUSTICE so easily.

 

[Storyfag]

How much blood does this guy have? That's a fucking lake there!

*Possibly* it might be the ogre's blood. *Might*.

 

[taplonaplo]

How much blood does this guy have? That's a fucking lake there!

*Possibly* it might be the ogre's blood. *Might*.

How dare you suggesting anything that makes sense!

 

[Rude Dude]

This shit is ridiculous. I hope this blood-river isnt supposed to be an example of gritty and grimdark.

p.s. where is the ogre then? disappeared and left only his blood there?

 

[Storyfag]

How dare you suggesting anything that makes sense!

I'm just evil like that :twisted:

p.s. where is the ogre then? disappeared and left only his blood there?

Yep. They do so in DAO. I've no reason to suspect Awakening is any different in that regard.

 

[shihonage]

The writing in this game is IDENTICAL in quality to their "background character stories" released 3 days ago.

It is horrible.

Also, MEDIEVAL FEMALE SHEPARD?

 

[RK47]

Anders: - Place 1 is important! You can't burn it!
GW Shepard: - (Persuade) What about Place 2?
Anders: - You're right! Place 1 sucks!

BioWare's writing just gets awesomer and awesomer...

Okay, what kind of joker worked on "her" face? Was he getting "considerably prodded" at the time? Is he a blind amputee with a Parkinson's disease? Does he get paid more than $1/h? Did he work at Bethesda, at some point? There must be a story behind so much 'fucked up' concentrated in such a simple job.

I think you missed it, but Bio writers admitted that the blacksmith is gay. Hence the prodding joke.

 

[Multiple Sarcasm]

I think you missed it, but Bio writers admitted that the blacksmith is gay. Hence the prodding joke.

I was referring to the "artist" who worked on the face of that "woman" in the back (as in, real-life dev). But oh, wow. The phrase in the screenshot actually contains a gay joke and they've bothered to make some completely forgettable NPC gay for some whateverthefuckhomoLARPing reason? What?
Why would-
What?

 

[DarthBehemoth]

Ready yourselves. The final update

We arrive at the Dragonbone wastes. The Mother's lair must be around somewhere.

Of course, the Mother is protected by an army woodlouses

Soon, a High Dragon joins the party

Time for some EXTREME killing!

You're terminated, fucker!

* * * *

Inside, we encounter more Darkspawn

And some talking Darkspawn (disciples)

At last, Codexer comes face to face with the Architect

And so we meet again

I escaped you mean

"Misunderstanding?" Is that what you call it?

I am rarely able to judge how your kind will react. It was most unfortunate

Unfortunate? You took those men and bled them dry!

You tell em Codexer!

He means really dead. Not the stupid Legion kind of "dead"

Fine. I will hear you out

Here it comes: Dragon Age in 30 seconds

There now you're ready to play Dragon Age 2!

You're trying to stop the Blights?

Why do you need Wardens' blood?

In order to become what you are, you drink the blood of my kind. To transform

Isn't the joining copywrighted or somethin?

You take the taint into yourself. What we take is your resistance.

I like my blood where it is. In my veins

Some new Darkspawn seem intelligent. Others are insane

Maybe they follow her becasue she has MONSTER BOOBS!

He... is right

Aw come on JUSTICE

Help me kill the Mother, and after it is done, I will leave to continue my work

How did you become freed?

I was born as I am, an outsider amongst my kind. Why? I do not know

What is this "Mother" exactly?

I do not seek to rule my brethren. I only seek to release them from their chains

Very well. You have an ally

Okay, I was expecting this.
It's all right, we can salvage this. Stay calm.

No. No! This is a monster! I can't let you do this.

(Persuade) Don't you want to stop the Blights once and for all?

I stand with Sigrun

Fuck! JUSTICE and Sigrun have turned against us! This fight would be easy if I didn't gave them uber-equipment

JUSTICE meets JUSTICE

We just lost JUSTICE! Boohoo!

They're just overgrown woodlouses! Deal with it man!

It's better than nothing I suppose

We take our remaining party members (Nathaniel and Oghren) And go into the nest

Oh, and the father, he is but a shadow! Oh, how my children protect me! How they love me!

IN YOUR FACE MOTAH!

Music = Call of the Archdemons NOT JUSTIN BIEBER!

It was a mistake to free you. It has left you with madness. I am truly sorry

The Architect intends to free the Darkspawn. I trust him

Well, paint me green and call me a turnip

We'll do turnip

Ah. There it is then. Unfortunate

I did find the Old God, Urthemiel. But I did not wish another Blight. I attempted my Joining ritual.

The important part of experimenting is that you must be willing to take risks

Enough! I 've heard all I need to

But we can, trust me

Hello! My party's standing right next to me!

So it must end, it all must come crushing down!

at first I was like, Well she's not too unattractive. Then she opened her mouth....

Time to kill the gigantic boob monster!

She summons her Children/woodlouses to stop us.

But we know how to deal with insects

This is it!

It is done

This was my Awakening LP

* * * *

 

[lightbane]

YES!!!! YOU DONE IT!!!

This is the key to understanding Dragon Age.

So, let's see if I got it: The Architect says that drinking Grey Warden's blood gives the Darkspawn sentience... But these Grey Warden obtained their powers by drinking regular Darkspawn's blood.... WTF???

David Gaydar admits he has no fucking idea of his own story, lulz.

 

[Jaedar]

Great LP. Now I can play DA2 knowing all the stuff that has happened

 

[Gondolin]

Congratulations! You are a martyr. :D

Now I can read the DA2 LP knowing all the stuff that has happened

Fixed.

 

[Twinkle]

I salute you, my successor bro, for suffering through this.

 

[taplonaplo]

Thanks for taking one for the team!
God the ending slides were awful.

 

[anus_pounder]

Good work, bro.
Now, LP the other DLC.

 

[spekkio]

I'm gonna read this LP one day.

One day...



Still:

 

[Brother None]

You are an hero

Also we shall see Anders again in DAII, together with the captain he escaped with. Yay!