Let's awaken Dragon Age: Awakening! (COMPLETED!)

[DarthBehemoth]

INDEX:

01 - Introduction and Vigil Keep (this post)
02 - Vigil Keep part 2 (End of the prologue)
03 - Vigil Keep part 3 & Nathaniel Howe
04 - Vigil Keep part 4 (Companion dialog and courtyard exploration)
05 - Vigil Keep part 5 (Meeting with local nobles and Nathaniel's past)
06 - Amaranthine
07 - Amaranthine part 2 (Dark Wolf & Anders' quest) & Darkspawn chasm
08 - Kal'Hirol
09 - Kal'Hirol part 2
10 - Vigil Keep sidequesting
11 - Vigil Keep sidequesting part 2
12 - Sidequest & Wending Wood
13 - Wending Wood part 2 (Architect's lair)
14 - Vigil Keep business
15 - Blackmarsh
16 - Blackmarsh part 2
17 - Amaranthine sidequesting
18 - Endgame (Amaranthine)
19 - Endgame (Vigil Keep)
20 - Endgame (Dragonbone Wastes)

A Human male Grey Warden

* * * *

...But the Darkspawn did not simply dissapear.

The region fell into choas as the darkspawn emerged from hidden lairs to terrorize the countryside.

Probably because they're all fighting in the Codex civil war.

Something is wrong, quickly Commander!

Combat is still as interesting as Fallout 3 dialouges

Where are the other Wardens?

You need to help, you need to do something

The plot of Bioware RPGs, explained in a single sentence.

Are there any other Wardens alive?

He thinks it's funny to repeat himself.

We didn't want you here anyway.

The Darkspawn launched a sneak attack. That's unheard of.

This isn't a Blight. How could they be so organized. I don't understand

Nice swordwork. You're not just a guide, are you?

So she's a rookie, I hate rookies

Then what were you expecting? A parade, a Darkspawn comedy show?

Let's kick some Darkspawn ass!

That's a big Ogre

But it's no match for my swords

I'm gonna spare you a painfully repetitive twenty minutes of filler combat and just say the above screenshot repeats itself about 10 times.

We find some medical supplies in the countryard

All in a day's work

Let's explore the interior

How did the Wardens not sense the Darkspawn coming? I don't understand it!

The Wardens should be mounting a better defense

I agree. Where are they all?

She sure says "I don't know" alot. Maybe she's played Fallout 3 too much?

Don't try to act like a retard.

We get ambushed by some Darkspawn...

...And encounter a Mage

Kentucky Fried Darkspawn. Now available in a store near you.

Right.

Not too fond of them huh?

What's this guy's problem?

I am Anders, at your service--mage and wanted apostate

An apostate? At Vigil's Keep?

Yes Mhiari he just said that. You don't have to annoy me all the time.

You can have her. I never liked her anyway.

Those men were Templars?

The single problem with Bioware dialouge is that it's retarted. In some cases even more than Fallout 3 dialouge.

I could use your help here.

Then you have it.

At this point i was like: JUST THE UP MHIARI!!!

They are also some Darkspawn outside.

EXPLOSION!!!

Further into the keep, we encounter a lone dwarf fighting some darkspawn. What else is new?

No I'm not going to he..

:sigh:

Huh.

A type? You mean like a drunken, violent dwarf?

Touche!

Does Bioware honestly expect me to believe this bullshit?

He was here when I left, I can't believe the Wardens didn't kick him out.

SHUT UP! I'M GOING TO KICK YOU OUT!

A Dwarf that smells like a brewery. You don't see that anywere.

Anders and Oghren really have a good sense of humor.

You want to fight Darkspawn? The more the merrier.

I find that hard to believe.

As do I.

Duh. Have you forgotten how to look?

Stop joking! This isn't funny!

It is to me

Who else?

What happened here? Where are the others?

That is the feeling that you know you're in a Bioware RPG. It hurts.

Kill him. :twisted:

Allright. That's it for now. Next update: We rescue Vigil's Keep!!

 

[racofer]

FUCK YEAH!!!

:clap: :clap: :clap: :yikes: :yikes: :yikes:

 

[Gondolin]

When I first saw the name of the thread I was very upset about this serious business. But then I lol'd.

That the feeling that you know you're in a Bioware RPG. It hurts.

Let the hatred pour forth!

 

[DarthBehemoth]

We continue to rid the Keep of Darkspawn.

And we finally make it outside.

Weeee!

Others will come creature, they will stop you!

He's saying this while the Darkspawn is holding him by the throat. Doesn't make a lot of sense.

It is talking!

Well, let's shut it up already!

Commander!

Let me guess, I'm the chosen one right?

Despite being a talking Darkspawn, The Withered goes down as fast as any other enemy we've encountered.

Hmm... Soldiers on the road. It seems we have company.

Hopefully they're more hospitable than our previous guests.

Is that... King Allistair?

Captain Obvious strikes again!

Why ask us? You're the king.

Damn. I knew it, we're the chosen one!

Our losses will make dealing with the Darkspawn difficult.

It sure as hell is.

This is just Bioware telling us that Alistair can't join our party. I personally think that ME2 handeld this better. Ashley/Carth can't trust you because you're with Cerberus. But Alistair? He's just to busy being king.

Hey what am I? Chopped nug livers?

From the smell,l that's not a bad guess

You're not allowed to spit.

If only real life religion was this fun.

I.. suppose all are welcome, in this dire time.

Joining the Wardens hey? Well good luck with that.

She means me.

Oh right. Anders is a wanted mage.

That's unfair! Anders is just a mage comedian.

Murderer? But those Templars were- -Oh, what's the use? You won't believe me anyhow.

I do. I hereby conscript this mage comedian into the Grey Wardens.

Fuck you.

Ha! Way to go kid! Welcome aboard!

Congratulations, ser mage. I look forward to fighting at your side.

I will aid you in ruling the lands of Amaranthine.

You said there are survivors?

Some of the soldiers and Vigil's staff survived, but none of the Orlesian Wardens made it.

Well ecxept me, I'm the chosen one

Wait, that means I'm kinda like Luke Skywalker. I have to rebuild the Jed Orde.. I mean the Grey Wardens.

May the RPGcodex be with you, King Alistair.

* * * *

Right now, I know of only one living warden assigned to all of Ferelden. That should be rectified.

Quickly then. There is much to do.

Join us brothers and sisters. Join us in the shadows were we stand, vigilant. Join us as we carry the duty that cannot be forsworn.

And should you perish, know that your sacrifice will not be forgotten and that one day we shall join you.

What's this, the sampler size? Are you trying to say something about my height eh?

Just shut up and drink the goddamn blood.

Er... This is the goblet we've always used.

Really? Huh...

Oh Oghren, you dirty little drunken dwarf.

JUST DRINK THE MOTHERFUCKING BLOOD!

That is it, yes.

Eh, okay that makes sense, I guess

NOT NOW!!

Come on, just die already.

There, now we can finally ditch this portrait:

Goodbye Mhairi. We never liked you.

I am sorry Mhairi. May the maker watch over you now.

That's it for now. In the next updates I'll be finishing stuff at the Keep and we will finally leave on our typical Bioware Main Quests.

 

[Gondolin]

You mean a Gay Warden, don't you?

 

[grotsnik]

The Alistair bit really is fucking poorly done.

'Hey, all, I've just strolled up with my armed guard to find this major outpost on fire, with most of the soldiers inside killed or vanished and a few bloodied survivors waiting for me outside. Well, looks like you've got a lot of work to do! Ciao!'
'Er...aren't you going to, you know, hang around for a bit? Even stay to dinner?'
'No, no - apparently my duties as king entail walking very slowly around my domains meeting-and-greeting people outside their burning castles and then leaving immediately without fucking helping anyone in the slightest.'

Anyway, enjoy this tedious melange of relentless fight scenes with three interchangeable plot-based cutscenes in between, companion dialogue largely removed, and a potentially interesting villain given sweet fuck-all to do. I wish I could stay to watch, but I'm afraid you're on your own. You have quite the task ahead of you!

(Nah, nah, jokes, jokes, I'll follow this, bro. The Harbinger bit made me LOL.)

 

[Twinkle]

Gahahaha. Good luck.

 

[Kz3r0]

Is strange that this is just the beginning of the game and I already want to kill all of the party?

 

[oldmanpaco]

So.... Who do you get to sleep with in this one? Lots of dudes right now.

 

[Radisshu]

Wow, this looks like some crappy mod

 

[taplonaplo]

It pains even to watch, you have issues DarthBehemoth.

 

[chzr]

 

[Serious_Business]

You mean a Gay Warden, don't you?

yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-- *head explodes*

 

[Codexlurker]

More please.

 

[Multiple Sarcasm]

NOT NOW!!

I'm liking this LP, already.

 

[anus_pounder]

According to wikipedia - "There are no romances available."

 

[ironyuri]

You mean a Gay Warden, don't you?

yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-- *head explodes*

 

[DarthBehemoth]

This update is mostly text so if you want to skip it, go ahead.

One of those "local men" is right here, Mistress Woolsey.

I have every confidence in the Vigil's loyalty in the matter of arms. But gold corrupts even the most resolute soul.

The Darkspawn are my priority. The treasury can wait.

Did my character just bash one of the most important aspects of RPGs?

Spoken like a true Codexian. I like this Woolsey woman.

This is your typical Bioware shit story: Oh no the world is on the brink of collapse! Oh no, only you can bring order to the lands.

It is the only route that can reliably provision an army, feed a city, and maintain civilazation.

How do I deal with this?

He may know where along the road the Darkspawn- - Or wathever they are- -Are striking.

Enough talking to Woolsey. Let's chat with the others.

Let me guess, another stupid Bioware main quest.

Anything important?

You Humans are all racists!

Right. My character is not retarded

Since when is a hunting tale a lead.

I can explain.

Sounds like another main quest.

Time to chat with Varel.

Orlais sent a dozen Warden to the Vigil to await your arrival.

Why was Kirstoff in the field?

Maybe it's because Ferleden has such a shitty king.

Kirstoff was sent to track down some leads.

Sounds like traveling to Amaranthine should be our new priority.

Amaranthine isn't small. How will I find him?

Right. note to self: get wasted in Amaranthine

Farewell.

* * * *

A thief?!

Where is this thief now?

Show them to me.

Typical Bioware side quests

Anders and Oghren decide to have a little conversation.

So a mage huh? What's it like?

To have all this power at my fingertips?

No. To always have to wear a skirt? (laughs)

Alright Anders what say you?

Well, the robes make quick trysts in the corner easy. No laces or buttons. You're done before the Templars even catch on.

Anders, he'll make a fine GAY warden!

&

Really?

Just ask anyone.

RIIIIIIGGGHHHHT. To the dungeon.

Leave me to talk with him

Figured that out all by yourself did you?

I assumed you would be ten feet tall. With lightning bolts shooting out of your eyes.

It is an easy mistake to make.

Shit.

How does Codexer react?

Maybe if your father wasn't such an asshole, he would still be alive.

So you tried to kill me. DOES BIOWARE HONESTLY EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE THIS BULLSHIT!

Right. Now he starts being nice.

You tried to have me killed?

Captain Obvious strikes again!

That was the plan.

Uh-huh

Uh-huh

I understand we had trouble capturing you.

Do you really hate the Grey Wardens so much?

This scene would be perfect if Bioware inserted some sad (shitty) music. But they didn't so I don't feel sorry for him.

Fuck off. It's MY home now.

I've decided what to do with you.

Already? Good.

Did you know this was Nathaniel Howe?

I wish to invoke the Right of Conscription.

What better way to get revenge on Nathan than to get him killed as a Grey Warden

You what?

Oh, so now we're getting a bit suicidal eh?

Did I say I was giving you a choice? :twisted:

Shut up and drink the goddamn blood.

Come with me ser. We'll see if you survive the joining.

* * * *

That's it for now. Next update: Amaranthine!

 

[Codexlurker]

Nice update, but what the fuck is he wearing?

 

[DarthBehemoth]

Nice update, but what the fuck is he wearing?

Some basic clothing. Bioware has a habit of creating ridiculous clothing for major characters in Dragon Age

 

[Nickless]

Ahh. I'm so glad these Let's Plays of crap games are available so I don't have to play them to understand what I'm not missing.

 

[anus_pounder]

I understand you can import your DA character if you have one. Does it effect much?

 

[DarthBehemoth]

I understand you can import your DA character if you have one. Does it effect much?

Not much. A few references here and there, but nothing on the "grand" scale of ME2

 

[Rude Dude]

photobucket is angry, bro

 

[waywardOne]

imageshack, now.